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Forgiving As We’ve Been Forgiven
Lesson 1:
The Foundation for Forgiveness
Forgiveness is at the heart of the Gospel. Take a moment to digest that statement. Our lives are completely shaped and have been forever changed through the forgiveness made available to us in Jesus. Scripture says that, at one time, we were all enemies of God -- haters of God -- under the power of Satan, bound by sin. Yet, while we were sinners Christ died for us. God, the offended, took the first step and offered forgiveness -- at His own cost -- to a wayward, undeserving humanity so that relationship could be restored. That, is good news.
In light of this, how are we who have been forgiven, so much, to respond to OUR offenders? And what do we do when we ARE the offender?
Today we are starting a new series titled “Forgiving As We’ve Been Forgiven”. Over the next five weeks, we will be learning about Biblical forgiveness and reconciliation. Our resources for this series are “Forgiven As We’ve Been Forgiven” by Celestin Musekura and L. Gregory Jones, and “When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense” by Robert Jeffress. Both books offer tremendous insight and guidance on practicing Christian forgiveness and reconciliation.
Our first lesson is on “The Foundation for Forgiveness”.
“Be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave
you.
Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
2
The anthem for the series is Ephesians 4:32. (READ VERSE)
This verse sums up beautifully how Christ-centered communities are supposed to function. It presumes a need for forgiveness and reconciliation, especially among the people of God, b/c of the mercy we’ve been shown.
Our hope is that over the course of this series you will be reminded of God’s heart for forgiveness and challenged by the high standard we are called to as believers. We are called to forgive our offenders and to strive toward reconciliation, when possible. What I don’t want you to hear is that forgiveness is ever easy or immediate. As well, forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Forgiveness depends on me; reconciliation depends on us. It is possible to forgive someone yet not be reconciled. Romans 12:8 says “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
1.Obstacles to Forgiveness
Why is it so difficult to forgive?
The need for forgiveness touches everyone’s life.
An unwanted divorceAn unfair termination from a jobA betrayed friendshipAbuse at the hands of anotherA slanderous rumor that robs you of your reputation
“Everyone thinks forgiveness is a
lovely idea until he has something to forgive.
- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
C.S. Lewis once said ...
Without question, the pain and suffering that we experience in this life runs deep and is often heartbreaking. Yet, as believers, our lives are built on the foundation of Jesus’ forgiveness that redeems our past, present and future. Why is it that the forgiven find it so difficult to forgive?
Perhaps one reason is that we underestimate the importance of forgiveness and the value that God places on it. Let’s take a look at a few verses from the Gospels -- Jesus’ own words -- which express how significant forgiveness is to the Lord. We will come back to in this and future lessons. Right now we won’t dig too deeply into them. But as they are read, consider the impact of Jesus’ words.
The Importance of Forgiveness
Matthew 5:23-24
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 6:9-13
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Matthew 6:14-15For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
The Importance of Forgiveness
Mark 11:25-26
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Luke 6:37
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven ...
Luke 17:3-5
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34
READ John 13:34 .. but how did Jesus love us?
1 John 3:16 (NIV) says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”
Romans 5:8 (ESV) says, “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Jesus died for us so that our sins could be forgiven and we could have restored relationship with God as Father.
After Jesus’ death and resurrection, His command to His disciples to love one another as He loved them would have undoubtedly also been viewed in terms of the length God went through to forgive mankind and reconcile Him to Himself.
“Many years ago I was driven to the conclusion that the major
cause of most emotional problems among evangelical Christians are these: the failure to live, receive, and live out
God’s unconditional love, forgiveness and grace to other people. We read, we hear, we believe a good theology of grace. But
that’s not the way we live. The good news of the gospel has not penetrated the level of our emotions.
- David Seamands, Healing for Damaged Emotions
David Seamands was a well-known Methodist minister and Christian counselor. In his book Healing for Damaged Emotions, he offers more insight into why the forgiven find it difficult to forgive.
READ QUOTE
Forgiven people forgiveYou can’t give what you don’t have.
But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.Luke 7:47
Forgiven people forgive. That’s the way it’s supposed to work.
But you can’t give what you don’t have. Perhaps, as David suggested, “the good news of the Gospel has not penetrated to the level of our emotions”.
Have you come to the place of really, truly understanding what God did for you? The price that was paid? And the outcome of your life if Jesus had not laid down His life for you?
In Luke 7:47, Jesus says something very interesting. He says, “But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Conversely, he who has been forgiven much loves much. Our capacity to love (and I would lump into that our ability to forgive) is directly tied to our acknowledgment of the immensity of the debt we’ve been forgiven.
What forgiveness is not
▷ There are never any consequences
▷ Dependent on repentance
▷ Denying the reality of our pain
▷ Unfair
▷ Acting like nothing ever happened
▷ An emotion or a feeling but a choice
A third reason the forgiven may find it difficult to forgive is that there is a misunderstanding of forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness does not mean there are never any consequences. Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily erase the consequences of their actions. Forgiven given people have gone to prison. Forgiven people have even gone to death row. We are never to seek vengeance, but we are to seek justice for those who have been wronged. Next week’s lesson is all about the relationship between forgiveness and justice.
2. Forgiveness is not dependent on repentance. You can forgive someone without waiting for your offender to repent. Biblical forgiveness is unconditional and unilateral. It may not be immediate or easy, but it’s not a suggestion; it’s a command and an expectation. Remember that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Choosing not to forgive is both costly and impractical. If you find the idea of unilateral forgiveness difficult, come back for week three, which is all about the relationship between forgiveness and repentance.
3. Forgiveness is not denying the reality of our pain. On the contrary, part of the process of forgiveness is acknowledging that a wrong has been committed and grieving appropriately. What do we do with recurring emotions of unforgiveness? Week four is all about forgiveness and memory, b/c the reality is that it is just not possible to “forgive-and-forget” (use air quotes).
1. Forgiveness is not inherently unfair. It does not violate some cosmic rule of justice. God is gracious, forgiving AND just. Is God unjust b/c he is merciful? We are never more like God than when we love our enemies. Commenting on the sacrifice of Jesus, Paul writes in Romans 3:26, “It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.” In other words, through Jesus we see justice and mercy working together in perfect harmony.
2. Forgiveness is not acting like nothing ever happened. Forgiveness does not sweep things under the rug. An offense always creates an obligation. We must acknowledge a wrong has occurred; recognize the wrong has created an obligation for repayment; and choose to release our offender from that obligation and cover the loss ourselves.
3. Forgiveness is not an emotion or a feeling but a choice. Though the process of forgiveness can be emotional, forgiveness from the heart involves a conscious decision to let go of the offense.
Of the obstacles to forgiveness mentioned, which ones have you wrestled with the most? Why? What are some other obstacles to forgiveness?
What happens to a person who does not forgive? How does forgiving benefit the offended?
2.The Foundation for
ForgivenessIt all comes down to ...
Jesus told a parable in Luke chapter 7 that helps us to understand the foundation for forgiveness.
“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
Luke 7:41-48
Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance. Luke 5:31-32
In this passage Jesus has been invited to the home of Simon the Pharisee for dinner. While they are dining a woman with a reputation for sin enters the room, falls at Jesus’ feet and begins to wash them with her tears and anoint his feet with oil. Simon was disturbed by the fact that Jesus allowed the sinful woman to touch him. He reasoned in his heart that if Jesus was really a prophet, as He claimed, then He would know this woman’s rap sheet and He would want nothing to do with her. This is where our parable begins.
Would someone like to read?
Simon saw the sinful woman as an “other” -- an outsider. He was a devoted, righteous Jew who was in with God, but she was depraved and unworthy. In Simon’s mind, her many sins had disqualified her from God’s acceptance.
Yet Jesus said in Luke 5:31-32 (read verse) … The question is who are the righteous?
Simon made the crucial mistake of thinking he was somehow less of a sinner, less in need of savior than the woman. B/c he was unable to fathom his own lostness, he could not have compassion towards a fellow sinner in need of grace.
In John 9:41, speaking to the Pharisees, Jesus said, “If you were blind, Jesus replied, “you would not be guilty of sin. But since you claim you can see,’ your guilt remains.”
Understanding our need
Ecclesiastes 7:20
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.
Romans 3:11-12
“None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”
Romans 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
We need to understand the immensity of our need for a savior. We have to understand that when it comes to God’s standard of righteousness, maybe you can jump a little bit higher than me, but it doesn’t matter, b/c we are all trying to touch the moon.
Scripture makes our condition clear.
(Have people read verses.)
“When we understand that the same evil that motivated our offender to hurt us resides in our heart as well, we’re in a much better position to
forgive.
- Robert Jeffress, When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense
In his book When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense, Pastor Robert Jeffress hits the nail on the head when he says … (read quote)
GraceIn the garden ...
Grace is a deliberate decision to give something good to someone who does not deserve it. (WFDMS, pp. 32)
In the end, it all comes down to grace.
God is always taking the first step toward his offenders. Grace didn’t begin at the cross. It’s throughout the entire Old Testament; it’s in the creation and we even see it in the garden.
In the garden account in Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve had sinned, God came looking for them. He calls out to the man, “Where are you?” Later, he makes coverings for them from animal skins. Adam and Eve had tried to cover their guilt and shame on their own. But, unprompted, God makes a better covering for them. It was a foreshadowing of the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins.
Ephesians 2:4-5 says, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ.”
(Read what grace is -- click)
The measure we useWe always desire mercy for ourselves and justice for others.
Our natural posture is that we always desire mercy for ourselves and justice for others.
But ask yourself this question. Do you want to be more like God?
Then love your enemies, bless those who curse, do good to those who persecute you, and learn to repay evil with good.
When you forgive as you’ve been forgiven, then you demonstrate the love of Christ and prove that God is your Father and you are his son or daughter.
3.The Case for Forgiveness
Why forgive?
17
We’ve looked at obstacles to forgiveness and the foundation for forgiveness. Now we’re going to look at a parable from Matthew 18 that gives us very practical insight into why we should forgive.
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
Matthew 18:21-27
Would someone read Matthew 18:21-27?
/* In case someone asks about seven times seven vs seventy-seven Septuagint vs Hebrew OT -- which one was Jesus quoting. */
But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Matthew 18:28-35
Would someone read Matthew 18:28-35?
If you were in service last Sunday, Andy preached an excellent message on forgiveness centered around this parable. If you weren’t here, I highly recommend you watch online when you have a chance.
Peter asks Jesus a question about the limitations of forgiveness. He also gives a potential answer. Peter probably thought he being generous, since rabbis taught that you only had to forgive three times. Jesus’ response is a play on Gen 4:24 which is a statement about vengeance. It says, “If Cain is avenged sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.” He takes something that would have been familiar to Jewish listeners, flips it around and applies it to forgiveness instead. His point was to not set a literal limit but to blow their minds. To Jewish ears, it would have been understood that Jesus was advocating forgiveness without limit.
Jesus drives the point home when he says this is how my heavenly Father will treat you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.
Reasons to forgive
▷ Sometimes it’s the only way to settle a
debt.
▷ Forgiveness frees us to move on in life.
▷ The consequences of unforgiveness are
too great.
▷ Forgiveness is the obligation of the
forgiven.
The parable illustrates several truths about forgiveness.
1In his book When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense, author Robert Jeffress writes, “Many people today are struggling with forgiveness b/c they are unaware that the “debt” they hold is really worthless. They mistakenly believe that there’s some payment they can extract from their offender that will compensate for their loss. But the truth is that very few sinners have the resources to pay for their offenses.” It’s so true. What could make up for a child killed by a drunk driver or a marriage destroyed by infidelity. Is there any price that would truly suffice?
2Why did the king let servant go? We’re told he had pity on him. Surely, the king would have realized that trying to extract payment was a losing proposition and that it would be better to cut his losses than get tied up in a hopeless situation. “One of the best reasons for forgiving someone is not what it does for them but what it does for us. As someone once said, letting go of a rattlesnake might benefit the snake, but it benefits you as well.”
In his book the Art of Forgiveness author Lewis Smedes writes: “The first and often the only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness. When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner was us.”
3The king was outraged and threw the servant into prison. Unforgiveness is its own prison. Most of us have heard the expression: “Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. In his book The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness, John MacArthur writes, “Unforgiveness is a toxin. It poisons the heart and mind with bitterness, distorting one’s whole perspective on life. Anger, resentment, and sorrow begin to overshadow and overwhelm the unforgiving person -- a kind of soul pollution that enfames evil appetites and emotions.”
As well, in many of Jesus words about forgiveness there is a warning that we will be treated the way we treat others. When Jesus says that if we do not forgive others God will not forgive our sins, he is not referring to our justification or our salvation, which is settled. God is Savior but He is also Father. There is a difference between God’s judicial forgiveness and His parental forgiveness. As believers, we ask God for forgiveness when we sin not for salvation but so that we can be in right relationship with him and experience His presence in our lives. That is the parental forgiveness of God. Jesus’ point was that our unforgiveness can create barriers in our relationship with the Father.
4The parable really hinges on this point. B/c the servant’s debt was forgiven by the king, how could he not forgive his fellow servant’s debt? The whole point of the parable is that we are to forgive as we have been forgiven. The pain our offenders cause is real, but it pales in comparison to the wrongs we have committed against God.
Rev. Celestin Musekura, Ph.D.
President and Founder of African Leadership and Reconciliation Ministries
We are ending each lesson in this series with a story of radical forgiveness. Forgiveness is never easy but it is possible.
Dr. Celestin Musekura, is the President and Founder of African Leadership and Reconciliation Ministries (ALARM, Inc.) He is also one of the author’s of the book this series is named after. Celestin was born and raised in Rwanda. His life was forever changed by the Rwandan genocide that killed upwards of 1,000,000 people and wiped out 70% of Rwanda’s pastors in a span of 100 days.
We were blessed to have Celestin come and speak to us a few months back. Listen as he tells his story of forgiveness.
There is one more video I have for you today. It’s a song and it seems very appropriate. As you hear this song and watch the lyrics, think about everything we’ve talked about today and consider if there is someone in your life whom you have not yet forgiven. Ask the Lord to give you grace to forgive them ...
You may now go into prayer. Thank-you.
