Slide 1
Foster Care As Experienced by Foster ParentsBy: Tanya
McDonaldIntroductionFor my culminating project, I chose to
interview 3 foster mothers about the impact fostering has had on
their lives. The goal of this presentation is to raise awareness of
the need for high quality foster parents and to provide some
knowledge of what committing to foster a child entails. Pattie
How long were you a foster parent?I fostered my older daughter
for 2 years and my younger daughter for 1 year and 10 months prior
to adoption. I also fostered another girl for 10 months who I did
not end up adopting. The girls mother did what she needed to do to
regain custody.How did you feel about that reunification?It was
heartbreaking, but there was nothing I could do about it, because
the mom did what she needed to.I think the mom felt that I was a
threat to her keeping her daughter, so I have not stayed in contact
with them.Why did you decide to be a foster parent?Its a spiritual
journey. I always thought of life as a way of making my life a gift
to others and receiving the gift that others are.Sharing the
gospelIve always loved kids. I felt called to help the world be a
more beautiful place by helping these kids to heal, giving them a
stability, giving them a forever home and that way they heal and
are able to grow and bloom and blossom and make the world a better
place.They become my priority.They keep me grounded, because I need
to live by example and be true to what I believe.
How did being a foster parent impact your life other than
resulting in 2 new family members?What are some challenges of being
a foster parent?Many challenges similar to biological parents.It is
an emotional roller coaster ride, because you dont know whether you
will get to keep them or not.Biological parents go through labor
and delivery and foster parents go through a different type of
labor and delivery that is longer lasting.Setting boundaries and
helping them make good choices.What are the positive aspects of
being a foster parent?Seeing brokenness become healed.Knowing that
they have a stability and a forever family.Its a great joy, even
for extended family.
What advice would you give to potential foster parents?You need
to be determined. You need to really really really want it, because
its not easy.Believe that your mission and calling in life is to
make the world a better place.
Additional CommentsIts a wonderful adventure. Its a wonderful
way of making the world a better place, you know. To help a child
heal and to have a forever family.There are struggles in it and
they will bring their brokenness with them, but you know, it is
well worth itits immeasurable.ShannonHow long have you been a
foster parent?5 yearsWhy did you decide to be a foster parent?I met
foster children as a counselor, so I knew there were children who
needed good quality foster parents. I felt called to be a foster
parent.How has being a foster parent impacted your life?It is a big
commitment. Trying to juggle the many appointments foster children
are required to attend is difficult to incorporate into the busy
lifestyles many of us lead. These appointments include: Sibling
visits, meetings with social workers, counseling and doctor
appointments, etc.
What are some challenges of being a foster parent?I have my own
children too, so giving all the children in my care the attention
they deserve and helping my biological children to understand the
foster childrens place in our family. Encouraging friends to invite
our foster children along with biological children to events. What
are the positive aspects of being a foster parent?Seeing small
steps of improvement in the childrens development.Witnessing a
child become excited about something that many children take for
granted. (Ex: Food or new underwear)Seeing the children leave as
different people than when they arrived. Maybe they became more of
who they were supposed to be. What advice would you give to
potential foster parents?Commit to what you think you can handle.
If you are licensed and offered a child, make sure that child would
fit into your family dynamics before committing to caring for them.
DONT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO. There will be more children, so dont let
your excitement get the best of you, resulting in a less than ideal
situation for you and the child.Ask questions of the department
about your child.Use respite and dont be afraid to request it!
Additional CommentsDo what you can do. If you feel called to
foster, TRY IT! But find out as much as you can about fostering
prior to doing so.If you dont feel called or able to foster, there
are plenty of other ways to help foster families. Donate money or
items, be involved in a foster childs experience by talking with
them or providing a service for them, learn more about foster care,
etc. Determine what you CAN do and DO IT!
ConnieHow long have you been a foster parent?5 years, but I have
not fostered that entire time due to work trips.Why did you decide
to be a foster parent?I wanted to help people. I think humans are
all meant to help each other.How has being a foster parent impacted
your life?It was transformational. It made me a better person.It
exposed me to a lot of different realities while providing
opportunities to do good.Ive learned a lot about people and
myself.What are some challenges of being a foster parent?When goals
of the department dont align with goals of the foster parent(s).
The department tends to lean toward reunification, whereas foster
parents may not think that is a good alternative. Maybe some laws
should be changed so that these conflicting goals are more likely
to correspond.What are the positive aspects of being a foster
parent?You have the opportunity to make a lasting impact on a
childs life for the better.What advice would you give to potential
foster parents?If you are a person of faith, rely on that.
Additional CommentsWhy did you do this project?Because I have a
passion for improving the situations foster children experience.
Interning for the Division of Children and Family Services provided
me with knowledge about the foster care system from the perspective
of the department, but I wanted to broaden that perspective to
include the opinions of foster parents. I wanted to learn more
about what being a foster parent entails and share this knowledge
with others.Do you think someday you will be a foster mother?I hope
so! Thats another reason I decided to do this. Both my internship
and this project have strengthened my desire to foster in the
futureSong: Home by Phillip PhillipsThanks for
watching!null209253.42
