PROGRAM NORMS All participants need to be in the class by 9:00
a.m. sharp No side conversations Avoid religious and political
views No absences allowed Put your phones on silent mode Penalty in
case phone rings or even a message beeps
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WHO IS A DIFFICULT PERSON?
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WHAT IS DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR? A person whose behavior causes
difficulties - for you and others difficult behaviors Dealing with
difficult people simply means dealing with difficult behaviors
Slide 5
REACTIONS TOWARDS DIFFICULT BEHAVIORS Difficult Behavior Rude
Obnoxious Loud Rigid Crazy Demanding Arrogant Reaction Defensive
Loud Withdraw Superior Confused Crazy
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Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other
person to die.
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SELF ASSESSMENT
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30 and above Doing Great! 20-29 - Doing good. You can be helped
by increasing your self esteem. Review your strengths and areas of
improvement. Put your best foot forward in relationships 10-19
Believe in your strengths. Give yourself credit for what you know
and what you do right. Build your areas of improvement. Talk to a
mentor for feedback. < 10 Seek counseling. Your low self esteem
is hampering the way you work and impacting the way you deal with
people. You can achieve much more in life from building your self
confidence.
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LESSON OF THE FIST Whenever we force someone to change, they
either resist us or resent us or both and as a result become more
motivated to defend their position
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KEEP YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND Stay Calm, balanced, and think
things through Work to change your negative self-talk Avoid blaming
and labeling - Focus on problem solving Focus on positive outcomes
Think big picture-think long term
Slide 11
ARE YOU HOOKED? Physical Emotional Mental
Slide 12
ARE YOU HOOKED? Are You Hooked Physically? Clenched Teeth Stiff
Neck Tension Headaches Tight Chest Chills Stomach pain or nausea
Shortness of Breath Tingling arms Backaches Muscle spasms Facial
Twitches Insomnia Fatigue Are You Hooked Emotionally? Anger Fear
Panic Anxiety Embarrassment Confusion Depression Repulsion
Helplessness or despair
Slide 13
UNHOOKING AT A GLANCE Unhook Physically Unhook Mentally Unhook
Verbally
UNHOOKING THE FOUR DS Detect: Identify that you are caught in a
toxic relationship that is causing you pain Detach: Accept that you
arent going to change the other person Depersonalize: Learn to take
the other persons behavior less personally Deal: Devise a plan for
protecting yourself and managing the relationship using Unhooking
Technique
Slide 16
THE AVOIDER Exhibit fearfulness of interaction that could
generate uncomfortable feelings in them or around them. They notice
wrong behavior, but the fear of confrontation prevents them from
stepping in to address the situation. Instead they do the office
version of putting his or her head in the sand. Although authorized
to intervene, this boss takes no action. Such people may say I will
look into it or I will get to that. Then nothing happens.
Slide 17
UNHOOKING - FROM AN AVOIDER Unhook physically: Indulge in some
form of relaxation Unhook mentally: Take a mental inventory of the
situation Whats happening here? What are the facts? Whats their
part? Whats your part? What are your options? Unhook verbally:
Converse with the Avoider and ask them to show up for a meeting to
discuss the issues bothering you
Slide 18
THE SACRED COW They are those people in position of authority
whove been promoted because of longevity, loyalty, connections, or
family ties Since they never cause any trouble, dont make waves,
comply with company policies, there is never a reason to fire them
Eventually they reach positions of incompetence. They dont know how
to perform their own jobs effectively, never mind managing the
people below them If you work for this kind of boss, you probably
feel extremely frustrated Sacred cows resist any kind of change due
to fear of being found out. They do their best to maintain the
existing systems with thats how its always been done
Slide 19
UNHOOKING - THE SACRED COW Unhook physically: Indulge in a game
or some form of sports to release pent-up frustration Unhook
mentally: Take a mental inventory of the situation Whats happening
here? What are the facts? Whats their part? Whats your part? What
are your options? Unhook verbally: Converse with the sacred cow to
learn about them & their accomplishment.
Slide 20
THE CONTROLLING EGOMANIAC They make it clear that the company
or department they oversee is their show. Their huge egos require
large doses of admiration, and total control They often project
themselves as a self-made man or woman They have an insatiable
hunger for fame, respect, and status Their personality is
charismatic and engaging. These are the original micromanagers.
They dont know how to delegate and cant handle criticism
Initiatives that dont originate from them get disabled and
sidetracked If you work for them, expect to be battered with
questions, overridden in your decision making, and reprimanded for
every mistake you make.
Slide 21
UNHOOKING - THE CONTROLLING EGOMANIAC Detect: Learn to
recognize that you are being controlled Detach: Learn to relax, and
accept that your boss cannot tolerate the thought of anyone,
including an expert taking charge of his organization
Depersonalize: Remind yourself of facts and that such behaviors are
learned and ingrained overtime; cannot be helped. They are
compelled to control, manipulate, override, and belittle the people
who work below him Deal: Accept the fact that these behaviors can
be caused by psychological affliction. Be no longer surprised or
insulted when being criticized or when suggestions get shot
down
Slide 22
THE CREDIT STEALERS A special employer that delights in taking
credit for other peoples ideas This workplace robber will tell you
that you are a part of his or her team; that your contributions are
crucial for the teams success They will share your ideas,
proposals, and suggestions with others, claiming those to be
theirs. When approached, they either justify or deny their actions
and you end up feeling used, manipulated, and infuriated
Slide 23
UNHOOKING THE CREDIT STEALER Detect: Learn to recognize that a
credit stealer shall continue to do this and yet feel no remorse.
You may feel physically depleted and confused Detach: Realize that
such types will never give credit to your ideas, there will be no
guarantee even if they promise Depersonalize: such behavior will
continue; any ideas that emerge in their environment will be
considered theirs; taking it personally will never help Deal: Work
on getting the credit you deserve, withholding ideas never help,
before proposing a new idea get assurance of getting credit for
it
Slide 24
Serenity Prayer accept the things change change the things
difference. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to
know the difference.