Frasier - That's Why They Play the Game Act 1

7/31/2019 Frasier - That's Why They Play the Game Act 1

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Final Draft 8 Demo

Final Draft 8 Demo

Final Draft 8 Demo

Frasier

"That's Why They Play the Game"

written by

Anthony Banks

RTVF 360-CN FINAL DRAFT

Scot Abrahamson June 11, 2010


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ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. RADIO STUDIO - DAY - DAY /1(FRASIER, ROZ, KENNY, MAN (V.O.))

FRASIER IS ON THE AIR TAKING HIS LAST CALL OF THE SHOW.

FRASIERLooks like we have time for one morecall. Roz who do we have on the line?

ROZWe have Charlie from Kirkland on linethree.

FRASIER

Hello Charlie, whats on your mindtoday.

MANUh, hi there Dr. Crane Im kind ofembarrassed to be calling honestlybecause I know what is wrong but Idont know how to deal with it.

FRASIERDont be embarrassed, if itsbothering you enough to solicit advicethen it is a legitimate concern. What

is it?

MANWell Im really nervous about theSeahawks in the playoffs Doctor. Ireally think this is our year but Ikeep having these breathing problemswhenever I think about it. I justkeep thinking that something bad isgoing to happen and, and(breathinglike hes hyperventilating) Oh Dr.Crane, I dont know if I will make itthough the week!

FRASIER SMIRKS AND CUTS ROZ A LOOK WHILE SHAKING HIS HEAD.

FRASIERWell Charlie, I can tell you just likeI told Alan yesterday and Marthaearlier that such negativity andanxiety is uncalled for. I thinkyoull be quite fine.

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Although I will be honest with you andadmit that even my father, who is alifelong fan has been caught up in theexcitement and euphoria that hasembraced our fair city as our belovedteam tries to win its first everfootball championship.

ROZ POINTS TO HER WATCH AND MAKES A CIRCULAR MOTION WITH HERFINGER TELLING FRASIER TO WRAP IT UP AS KENNY ENTERS THECONTROL ROOM AND STANDS BEHIND HER.

FRASIER (CONTD)So Charlie, you are not alone in yourfears but lest we forget that in theend it is just a simple game and tohave such anxiety over something youcan not control is simply not rational

or wise.

MANSooo, youre saying that Ill be fineunless they lose right? Right?

FRASIER(BEAT) Exactly, and thank you forcalling. Well thats all the time wehave for todays show. Enjoy the restof your day and good mental health.

ROZ

And were off. Great show Fras.

FRASIERAnd I hope they have Seahawk straightjackets in your size Charlie.

FRASIER REMOVES HIS HEADPHONES AND CROSSES INTO THE CONTROLBOOTH.

FRASIER (CONTD)Why hello Kenny, sorry that you hadhear that obvious lack of enthusiasmat the end but I must admit Im a

little tired of all this banter aboutthe Seahawks. We seem to get more andmore calls everyday and coupled withmy fathers daily rants about...

ROZ FAKES A LOUD COUGH AND SUBTLY NODS TOWARD KENNY TO GETFRASIER TO NOTICE THE LOUD SEAHAWK TIE THAT HE IS WEARING.

FRASIER - "THAT'S WHY THEY PLAY THE GAME" 2.

FRASIER (CONT'D)


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FRASIER (CONTD)About how we might lose when everyonein their right mind knows were boundfor the Incredible Bowl.

KENNYThe, the what doc?

ROZHe means the Super Bowl. Its likeyou guys are talking in differentlanguages and I have to translate.

KENNYOh doc, Im sorry. I heard your showthe last couple of days and thoughtyou were really into football. I wasgoing to offer you an opportunity to

help the station promote the team.

FRASIERWell, I have to be honest Kenny, Imnot the expert that I seem to be.

ROZHa! Oh, Im sorry. Youre trying tobe serious arent you?

FRASIER(beat) As I was saying. I rarelywatch any TV, let alone football.

With the exception of MasterpieceTheatre on public television ohcourse.

KENNYYou like barbecue shows too? I havecable access. What channel?

FRASIER LOOKS AT ROZ WHO NODS AND TURNS TO KENNY.

ROZIts the same channel that Dora theExplorer comes on.

KENNYOhhhh! I love that show! Thatstation is still on at night?

FRASIER AND ROZ STARE AT KENNY FOR A BEAT AND THEN FRASIERSTARES AT ROZ WHO NODS AT HIM AND TURNS BACK TO KENNY.



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ROZWhats this offer of yours Kenny? Ican only take this for so long.

KENNYOh yeah, well since we broadcast thegames the team is giving us fullaccess for the playoffs. MattHasselbeck himself will be heretomorrow for an interview with Bulldogand I thought you would be interestedin becoming the official source ofcasual psychiatric advice for theteam.

FRASIERWhy Kenny, Im touched you and theteam would consider me for such a

vaulted position. Ive often wished Ihad more time to serve the public insuch a manner.

ROZFras, I cant believe youre takingthis so seriously. Its just apromotional title like the officialcoffee of Seattle or king or theworld! Who would you really help?

KENNYWell, it does come with a press pass

and access to the locker room on gamedays.

ROZSooo, Fras will we be doing Freudianor Jungian analysis?

FADE OUT.

SLUG TITLE CARD READS: MOVING UP THE DEPTH CHART, WHATEVERTHAT IS...

FADE IN:

INT. MCGINTYS BAR - NIGHT - DAY /1(FRASIER, MARTIN, NILES, DAPHNE, MAN, ANNOUNCER (O.S.))



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FRASIER ENTERS AND LOOKS AROUND. HE SEES MARTIN SITTING AT ATABLE NEAR THE BAR AND IS SURPRISED TO SEE NILES AND DAPHNESITTING WITH HIM. HE WALKS OVER TO THE TABLE.

MARTINWell, well. Look whos here too. HeyFras. Grab a chair from over thereand have a seat.

NILESHello Frasier.

DAPHNEHey there Doctor Crane!

FRASIERI must say that Im a little shockedto find you two here. Dad, I thought

you were supposed to be watching agame with Duke. I stopped by to seeif you wanted a ride home.

MARTINWell I was but he had to cancel andNiles and Daph were at home and theydecided they would come along and geta lesson.

FRASIERA lesson? A lesson in what?

DAPHNEAmerican Football! With the Seahawksin the playoffs I want to try andunderstand it finally. Especiallysince I have to watch your fatherspend an entire day yelling at thetelly about it.

FRASIER LOOKS AT NILES AND NILES GLANCES AT DAPHNE AND SMILESBROADLY AND THEN LOOKS BACK AT FRASIER AGAIN.

NILESIt has always intrigued me as well.

FRASIERYes, Im sure it has. I would ask howits going Dad, but I wouldnt want tofrustrate you anymore than you alreadyare.



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MARTINActually Its going pretty good. Ireally think theyre getting the hangof it.

FRASIERThey? Daphne I understand, but youtoo Niles? I cant believe that..

NILESIt is far more interesting and complexthan I ever imagined. I remember as achild looking at Dad watch it ontelevision and wondering. Why are allthose armored men fighting for thatstrange brown egg? There must be ahidden treasure inside.

FRASIER CUTS A LOOK TO MARTIN.

FRASIERYou said this has been going well?

NILESIf you would let me finish. It reallyis a lot like chess only with realpeople if you could imagine such athing. Certain people do certainthings and get this, many of theplayers that can move across the boardare named after coins! Isnt that

quaint!

MARTIN CUTS A LOOK BACK AT FRASIER.

MARTINAlright, alright you got me. Itsbeen going okay. Not as bad as youthink though. I think having Daphnearound to help explain things reallyhas helped.

DAPHNEIts a lot like rugby as well, with

more attention on throwing the balland less courage if you ask me withall these paddings and titfers.

MARTIN LOOKS CONFUSED AND NILES NODS YES IN BLIND APPROVAL.

FRASIEROh course it has. Now its crystalclear to me as well.



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DAPHNEWhy dont you show Frasier some ofwhat youve learned dear?

NILESYes! Yes I will. See that Frasier?

THE GANG LOOKS AT A COLLEGE GAME ON THE TELEVISION BEHIND THEBAR. A RUNNING BACK IS BREAKING A TACKLE AND MAKES A MOVEAND GOES ON A RUN TO THE ENDZONE FOR A TOUCHDOWN.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)What a move around Marshall! Hes atthe twenty! The ten! Touchdown OregonState!

NILES THEN TAPS THE BACK OF A MAN SITTING AT THE BAR WATCHINGTHE GAME.

NILESHeck of a jukebox move around thatrook like fellow wasnt it.

THE MAN CUTS MARTIN A LOOK. MARTIN SHAKES HIS HEAD AND THEMAN LOOKS BACK AT NILES.

NILES (CONTD)His attempt at capture failed like theSiege of Naxos!

MAN

Close enough half-court. Youregetting it.

NILES TURNS BACK TO THE GANG FULL OF CONFIDENCE.

NILESSee there! I told you I was anatural! Dad, Daphne, and I may justget seasoned tickets next year.

FRASIERWell tell them to take it easy on thesalt then.

MARTINCut him some slack Fras. At leasthes trying. Im proud of you son. Ijust wish I could have gotten you bothinterested in sports when you two wereyounger. Like thirty.

FRASIER SMARTS AT THE COMMENT FOR A SECOND AND THEN REMEMBERSSOMETHING.



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MARTIN (CONTD)Hey you all excuse me for a second Igot to go call Duke and the guys andtell them the news. Thanks Fras! I,I still cant believe it!

MARTIN EXITS OFF SCREEN TO THE BACK OF THE BAR.

DAPHNEThat was very sweet of you Dr. Crane.I havent seen him that excited in awhile. He barely used his cane on theway back there!

NILESPoppycock. You had to steal mythunder didnt you?

FRASIERWell, I do what I can. Sorry thatyour little lesson doesnt match up toalmost being a member of the team likeme does it?

NILESMember of the team? Hardly! I willlet you know that I was once thenumber one play of the evening onESPTV!

DAPHNE

Now, now. Settle down you two.Always turning a nice gesture into adonnybrook between the two of you.Let it go.

NILESOh course dear. Youre right and I amglad to see that Dad is so enthralled.Now who is this Matt person that iscoming to the station tomorrow anyway?

FRASIERI have no idea. I had to write his

name in my hand.

AS FRASIER SHOWS HIS HAND TO NILES, DAPHNE LOOKS AT THEM BOTHAND SHAKES HER HEAD.

FADE OUT.



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FRASIEROf course Matt. Go ahead, Imlistening (laughing).

MATT

Do you have kids doc, I mean Frasier?

FRASIERYes. I have a son that lives inBoston with my ex-wife. Sounfortunately, I dont see him veryoften.

MATTReally? Well, I have two daughters, ason, and a wife that dont see much ofme because of my career too. And

well...

FRASIERPlease, go ahead.

MATTYou know my youngest daughter wrote asong for me and performed it at herChristmas pageant. Shes performingit again for a talent contest thisweek.

FRASIER

Thats wonderful! So what is theproblem?

MATTShes so mad at me for missing thepageant she wont play it for me therare times Im at home. My wife evensaid she cried herself to sleep aboutit the other night.(beat) It reallyisnt fair to her you know?

ROZ TAPS THE GLASS TO GET THEIR ATTENTION AND MAKES THE WRAPIT UP SIGN WITH HER FINGER.

FRASIERI have missed so much of Fredrickslife and there isnt a day that Idont regret it. My father was awayat work often as a child and when hewas home, well.


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(BEAT) In any case Matt, sometimes weforget what the real priorities are inlife not those dictated by our ownegos and selfish goals. I always sayfamily first and foremost and I onlywish I could live up to that standardmyself. I hope that helps in someway.

MARTIN SEEMS TO TAKE THE COMMENTS TO HEART FOR A BEAT.

MATTIt does. Thank you. Thanks a lot.

FRASIERWell thats all the time we have todayand I wish you all a good day and goodmental health.

ROZThats it Fras. Great show guys.

FRASIER AND MATT ENTER FROM THE BOOTH INTO THE CONTROL ROOM.

FRASIERThank you Roz. Matt this is myproducer Roz Doyle and my fatherMartin Crane.

MARTIN(GUSHING) Pleasure to meet you Mr.

Hasselbeck. Ive been a fan of yourssince Boston College. I even was fondof your father back in the day. Iremember how happy I was when you camefrom Green Bay.

MARTIN SHAKES MATTS HAND AND FRASIER GLOWS IN THEBACKGROUND.

MATTThank you sir the pleasures all mine.And please call me Matt.

MARTINWould you mind if I get your autographwith the picture? Well a coupleactually. For some of my buddies onthe force.

MATTNo, not at all. Your son has been areal help to me. Its the least I cando.


FRASIER (CONT'D)

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Roz, your last name is Doyle right?Boy that name sounds familiar from myPacker days. Have you ever been toGreen Bay, Wisconsin?

ROZWisconsin uh, no.

FRASIERBut Roz youre from Wiscon...

ROZSHHH! I have heard its quite niceMatt.

BULLDOG ENTERS CARRYING A SEAHAWKS JERSEY.

BULLDOG

Hey I got it Matt. Marty! Just intime for the pictures. Take a look atthis. They made it for Frasier.

BULLDOG HOLDS UP THE JERSEY AND IT HAS CRANE ON THE BACKWITH THE NUMBER 1.

MARTINWow, son. This is nice. I neverthought I would see the Crane name ona Seahawk jersey.

FRASIER

Its for you dad. I thought you wouldappreciate it.

MARTINReally! Are you sure son?

FRASIEROh yes. (feeling the material withhis fingers and cringing) Trust mequite sure.

ROZWell guys Im going to head to the

meeting room. You guys coming? Matt?

BULLDOG DEFENSIVELY STEPS BETWEEN MATT AND ROZ.

BULLDOGBack up Roz! The man is married okay!Excuse her Matt, shes always tryingto make me jealous. You know thetype.


MATT (CONT'D)


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ROZYou dont even know the species, letalone the type. Anyway, Ill see youguys there.

ROZ EXITS OUT THE DOOR AND OFF SCREEN

BULLDOGIm right behind you! Come with meMatt, Ill show were its at. Wait upRoz! You guys coming?

MARTINIn one second Bulldog. See you thereMatt.

BULLDOG AND MATT EXIT OUT THE DOOR AND OFF SCREEN.

MARTIN (CONTD)Fras, this is one of the best days ofmy life. My son, working with theSeahawks who would have known.

FRASIERNot a problem Dad. Just making up forlost time. Now, lets not keepeveryone waiting. Youve got a newjersey to show off and pictures totake. Clear the way! Seahawks comingthrough!

MARTIN AND FRASIER SMILE AND EXIT OUT THE DOOR AND OFFSCREEN.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE


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Frasier - That's Why They Play the Game Act 1