GET DESCRIPTIVE! GET DESCRIPTIVE!

Authors’ tricks for “Showing, Not Authors’ tricks for “Showing, Not Telling” in Writing!Telling” in Writing!

by Ms. Carol A. Withrowby Ms. Carol A. Withrow

What does “Showing, not What does “Showing, not Telling” mean?Telling” mean?

Some writers “tell” things to their readers, Some writers “tell” things to their readers, giving very little description. giving very little description.

Here is an example: The boy was mad. Here is an example: The boy was mad. This sentence doesn’t help your mind This sentence doesn’t help your mind

form a mental picture of the angry boy, form a mental picture of the angry boy, does it? does it?

Now let’s look at a “showing” sentence! Now let’s look at a “showing” sentence!

Here is a “Showing” Here is a “Showing” example!example!

One look at the boy and I knew. One look at the boy and I knew. Oh, no! Oh, no! This day was already off to a great start. This day was already off to a great start. His shaking hands were balled into fists His shaking hands were balled into fists at his sides. The grip was so tight, his at his sides. The grip was so tight, his wrinkled knuckles were white! His little wrinkled knuckles were white! His little chest heaved, up and down, up and chest heaved, up and down, up and down, and his nostrils flared in unison, down, and his nostrils flared in unison, like a bull ready to charge. Down his red like a bull ready to charge. Down his red cheeks streamed tears of fury. He was cheeks streamed tears of fury. He was heated! heated! I had to help him move past this!I had to help him move past this!

Can you PICTURE that? Can you PICTURE that?

How do writers do that?How do writers do that?

There are many tricks to descriptive There are many tricks to descriptive writing. Here are a few we use:writing. Here are a few we use:

SnapshotsSnapshots ThoughtshotsThoughtshots Strong VerbsStrong Verbs Specific NounsSpecific Nouns Sensory DetailsSensory Details Similes & MetaphorsSimiles & Metaphors

What’s a “Snapshot?”What’s a “Snapshot?” A snapshot is like taking a picture in your A snapshot is like taking a picture in your

mind of what you are trying to describe. mind of what you are trying to describe. Next, write about what you see, creating Next, write about what you see, creating that same picture for your reader. that same picture for your reader.

Think about the description of our angry Think about the description of our angry friend: “His shaky hands were balled into friend: “His shaky hands were balled into fists at his sides. The grip was so tight, fists at his sides. The grip was so tight, his wrinkled knuckles were white! His his wrinkled knuckles were white! His little chest heaved, up and down, up and little chest heaved, up and down, up and down, and his nostrils flared in unison.”down, and his nostrils flared in unison.”

In this example, I gave the readers the In this example, I gave the readers the picture I intended for them to see! picture I intended for them to see!

What’s a “Thoughtshot?”What’s a “Thoughtshot?”

A thoughtshot is when the author adds a A thoughtshot is when the author adds a character’s thoughts to the description of character’s thoughts to the description of something. Including what your something. Including what your character is thinking gives insight into character is thinking gives insight into that person and the situation. that person and the situation.

In the angry boy example, the narrator In the angry boy example, the narrator was a teacher who thought was a teacher who thought Oh, no! This Oh, no! This day was already off to a great start. I had day was already off to a great start. I had to help him move past this!to help him move past this!

What are “Strong What are “Strong Verbs?”Verbs?”

Writers use verbs (mainly action words) in Writers use verbs (mainly action words) in every sentence. By choosing verbs carefully, every sentence. By choosing verbs carefully, authors help “paint the picture” of their authors help “paint the picture” of their description in the reader’s mind. description in the reader’s mind.

In our example, “His little chest In our example, “His little chest heavedheaved, up and , up and down” should give you a specific picture of the down” should give you a specific picture of the way his chest way his chest movedmoved (a more boring choice). (a more boring choice). Also, “Down his red cheeks Also, “Down his red cheeks streamedstreamed tears of tears of fury” adds to the details of his anger as you fury” adds to the details of his anger as you know he can’t stop crying and his tears keep know he can’t stop crying and his tears keep flowing down his face. flowing down his face.

What do you mean by What do you mean by “Specific Nouns?”“Specific Nouns?”

Good authors choose nouns (and Good authors choose nouns (and appropriate adjectives to modify them) appropriate adjectives to modify them) that enhance their description. that enhance their description.

Compare this to our example.Compare this to our example. ““He was getting ready to throw a punch.”He was getting ready to throw a punch.” His shaking hands were balled into fists His shaking hands were balled into fists

at his sides. The grip was so tight, his at his sides. The grip was so tight, his wrinkled knuckles were white! (This wrinkled knuckles were white! (This showsshows that he might punch, without that he might punch, without “telling” the reader. “telling” the reader.

What are “Sensory What are “Sensory Details?”Details?”

Adding description to your writing with Adding description to your writing with the 5 senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, the 5 senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting) brings writing to life!touching and tasting) brings writing to life!

In our example, the snapshots help you In our example, the snapshots help you “see” the scene. Note these sensory “see” the scene. Note these sensory details: seeing - using color words and details: seeing - using color words and other adjectives, as well as strong verbs other adjectives, as well as strong verbs & specific nouns; and hearing – “like a & specific nouns; and hearing – “like a bull ready to charge” helps you hear the bull ready to charge” helps you hear the “panting” sound of an angry bull “panting” sound of an angry bull

Using Similes & Using Similes & MetaphorsMetaphors

Similes are comparisons using “like” or “as”; Similes are comparisons using “like” or “as”; Our boy is described “like a bull ready to Our boy is described “like a bull ready to charge.”charge.”

Familiar sayings make great similes: I was as Familiar sayings make great similes: I was as scared as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairsscared as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs, , OR It was as OR It was as light as a featherlight as a feather..

Metaphors are direct comparisons between Metaphors are direct comparisons between what you are describing and something what you are describing and something familiar. “On the track, familiar. “On the track, I am a racehorseI am a racehorse, , galloping into first place every time.”galloping into first place every time.”

What is “Good Voice?”What is “Good Voice?”

When authors include words and phrases When authors include words and phrases that sound like their own everyday that sound like their own everyday speaking voice, that is using a real, or speaking voice, that is using a real, or authentic voice. authentic voice.

You have your own ways of saying things You have your own ways of saying things that can help bring your characters to life that can help bring your characters to life for your reader. Write correctly and for your reader. Write correctly and descriptively, but remember to descriptively, but remember to BE YOURSELF in WRITING! BE YOURSELF in WRITING!

GET DESCRIPTIVE! GET DESCRIPTIVE!

You can “paint word pictures” to describe You can “paint word pictures” to describe the images you want your reader to the images you want your reader to VISUALIZE with DESCRIPTIVE VISUALIZE with DESCRIPTIVE WRITING TRICKS of the TRADE! WRITING TRICKS of the TRADE!

READ your own WRITING and find READ your own WRITING and find places to add: snapshots, thoughtshots, places to add: snapshots, thoughtshots, strong verbs, specific nouns, sensory strong verbs, specific nouns, sensory details, similes & metaphors, and your details, similes & metaphors, and your own good voice! own good voice!

Be the best author you can!Be the best author you can!