GIFTED YOUNGSTERS

"What Can You Do?"

A radio sitcom pilot

By Adam Boyer

SCENE ONE:

AMBIANCE: School parking lot.

SFX: A car pulls in and idles.

Inside we hear BEN GIBBONS(16, voice full of youthful energy with just a smack of attitude) and his MOTHER(40s, concerned, but clearly running out of patience for her son).

BEN

It's hideous.

MOTHER

Negative already? We've barely seen

the parking lot. Would it kill you to

give this place a chance?

BEN

It doesn't even look like a school, it

looks like a prison, or an insane

asylum. Wait, this isn't an insane

asylum is it? Because I told you those

drawings were NOT representative of

any deeper feelings. I'm sixteen, Mom,

I should be free to doodle without

fear of incarceration.

MOTHER

You know why you're here, Ben. Joking

wont change anything. And I don't

think you can call anything with that

much flaying depicted "a doodle".

BEN

There had to have been other schools,

you didn't have to ship me off to

Shutter Island for teens.

MOTHER

There WERE other schools. There were

SEVERAL other schools, NINE other

schools to be exact. Remind me, what

happened at those other schools?

BEN

Jeez, you burn ONE principal in effigy

and suddenly you develop "a reputation

for misconduct..."

MOTHER

I know it's not ideal, but you didn't

give me any other options. Headmaster

Fury has been very flexible with our

situation-

BEN

MY situation, okay? You're not the one

going to school with a bunch of

freaks.

MOTHER

Benjamin, everyone goes to school with

a bunch of freaks. We've all got

quirks and...

2.

(MORE)

eccentricities, so what if it's a

little more obvious with these

students?

BEN

It's going to be weird, though. A

whole school full of kids with special

abilities and then just: me? What's

special about me? I didn't even pass

my Presidential Fitness Test.

MOTHER

That's because you refused to take the

test then got excused after calling

the gym teacher a "fascist thug."

BEN

I'm just saying, it's hard enough to

blend in at a regular school...

MOTHER

You'll be fine. Just be yourself, pay

attention in class, and stay out of

trouble.

BEN

I'll make efforts.

MOTHER

And you know, you do have ONE thing

about you that's special...

BEN

Don't say my smile-

3.

MOTHER (CONT'D)

MOTHER

-Your smile.

Ben's mother leans over and kisses him on the cheek.

BEN

Ugh, Mom!

PASSERBY #1 (OUTSIDE)

Look, that guy's mom loves him!

PASSERBY #2 (OUTSIDE)

Ha! What a loser!

BEN(sarcastic)

Thanks for that, Mom.

MOTHER

You better head inside. You're going

to be late.

Ben gets out of the car and shuts the door.

MOTHER (CONTD)

Call me if you need anything.

BEN

I will.

MOTHER

And stay out of trouble.

BEN

I know.

The car drives off. UPBEAT ALT ROCK PLAYS INTO:

SCENE 2:

AMBIANCE: A busy school hallway.

4.

After a moment the song fades out and we hear: RADIO (16, bright, crisp, radio voice) speaking in what we'll come to know is a regular broadcast.

RADIO

Alright, alright, students that was

The Dudes with "Tear it up". Just a

little Canadian groove to welcome

everyone back to Fury Charter, home of

the fighting... kids with mutant

abilities, I guess. Still not sure why

we don't have a mascot.

It's a new year, and with the new year

comes new possibilities. A chance to

redefine yourself, a chance to develop

your abilities and uh, other things as

clearly is the case with some

students.

Radio gets distracted for a moment, thinking about boobs.

RADIO (CONTD)

Um, what was I saying? New beginnings.

Right. You may have been a loser last

year, but now's your chance to return

anew like the mighty phoenix.

PASSERBY #1

Too soon, man.

5.

RADIO

And that wasn't a veiled dig towards

Jerry, we all wish him well in

recovering from his burns. Fire powers

can be unstable.

Anyway, this is Andrew "Radio"

Goodspeed saying: Welcome back for

another school year, and no, I will

not play that band you like.

SFX: Radio Signs Off (A whrr similar to an old TV turning off.)

BEN

Excuse me, was that you just talking?

How'd you do that?

RADIO

New here?

BEN

Yeah...

RADIO

I can telepathically broadcast into

people's minds within a two hundred

yard radius. I use it to do a little

radio show on campus.

BEN

Kind of invasive, don't you think?

6.

RADIO

The school lets me do it so long as I

keep it to passing time, I keep things

clean, and I also broadcast student

announcements. Which reminds me-

SFX: Paper unfolds. Radio Signs On.

RADIO (CONTD)(reading)

"There will be a mandatory orientation

assembly before first period in the

main hall. Today's lunch options are

Pepperoni Pizza, Quinoa, and Caesar

Salad."

Radio Signs Off.

RADIO (CONTD)

Sorry about that.

BEN

No, it was informative.

RADIO

You didn't think we'd have

orientation?

BEN

No, I thought just thought it was

pronounced "Quinn-oh-ah".

RADIO

Glad to know I serve a purpose. I'm

Andy, but everybody calls me Radio.

7.

BEN

I'm Ben, everybody pretty much just

calls me Ben. Do most kids here have

code names?

RADIO

Not everybody. It's just really some

powers lend themselves to nicknames

for people like me, or Stretch, or

Spike-hands...

BEN

Spike-hands?

RADIO

You'll meet him. Nice kid. Terrible

volleyball partner. So what can you

do?

BEN

I can, uh... pat my head and rub my

stomach at the same time! See?

Patting. Rubbing.

BEN (CONTD)

Crazy, right? I'm actually looking for

Dorm C, do you know where that is?

RADIO

Down the hall, up the stairs, and to

the left.

8.

BEN

Thanks, nice to meet you.

FADE TO:

SCENE 3:

Ambiance: Quiet office, computer whrr, air conditioning.

SFX: Intermitant, loud scraping

Headmaster "Head-master" Fury(60s, aloof cadence, faux Brittish accent) interjects.

HEADMASTER

Could you please not sharpen your

claws in my office?

The scraping stops.

CODY "KODIAK" BENDIS(40s, gruff, Canadian) responds.

KODIAK

Sorry. Habit.

HEADMASTER

I understand you're having doubts

about teaching this semester.

KODIAK

That's understating things a bit. To

be honest, Head-master, I have no idea

why you think I'd be good for the job.

Don't teachers normally have degrees

or credentials? The only thing I

really know how to do is fight and

drink, and I'm pretty sure I'm not

allowed to either here.

9.

HEADMASTER

Oh, I'm certain that's not true.

KODIAK

You saying I can drink here?

HEADMASTER

That's not what I meant. Cody-

KODIAK

Please, call me Kodiak.

HEADMASTER(pressing on)

Cody, when I started this school I had

a dream. A dream to create an

environment for students who don't fit

in "normal society". For people like

you and me. Specials.

KODIAK

I've read the brochure.

HEADMASTER

I could hire a "qualified" teacher any

day of the week, and some would say

I'm legally obligated to, but I feel

that our students are better off with

someone they can relate to. Someone

like them. We're not just teaching

them math, and social studies, we're

teaching them how to live in the real

world with these abilities.

10.

(MORE)

Not just how to ignore them, but how

to use them safely and responsibly.

You've build a long, colorful life not

in spite of your abilities but through

them. And for that reason alone I

can't think of anyone better for that

job than you. Also statistically it's

very difficult to find people with

powers who are also have degrees in

education.

KODIAK

I'm just not the teaching type. I'm

not good with kids, I'm not patient or

well-read, I don't even think I know

who your Prime Minister is...

HEADMASTER

We don't have a Prime Minister in

America.

KODIAK

See, I should know that kinda stuff. I

appreciate being considered and after

all the years we've worked together

fighting bad-guys, saving the world, I

guess you could say I owe you-

HEADMASTER

Yes. I could. And I am.

11.

HEADMASTER (CONT'D)

KODIAK

I don't know, buddy.

HEADMASTER

Try it for a week. If you're still

convinced you're not right for the

job, I'll start looking for someone

else. Deal

KODIAK

Deal. Wait, if you don't have a Prime

Minister then who runs your

Parliament?

HEADMASTER

We don't have a Parliament.

KODIAK

No wonder your country is in so much

trouble.

FADE TO:

SCENE 4:

AMBIANCE: A small quiet room. Music plays faintly on the speakers.

SFX: A knock at the door.

BEN

Hello? I'm looking for Dorm C.

Dave(16, laid back, simple) answers him.

DAVE

You Ben?

BEN

Yeah.

12.

DAVE

I'm Dave. Your bunk's over there.

BEN

Thanks.

Ben sets his stuff down.

BEN (CONTD)

This is pretty weird, right? The whole

boarding school thing?

DAVE

It's just like summer camp. You'll get

used to it.

BEN

I've never been to summer camp either.

I've never even shared a room before,

it's always just been me and my mom.

So is there anyone else here or is it

just us?

DAVE

It's just us.

BEN

Oh. Then who's the empty bunk for?

DAVE

Elijah.

BEN

What, like at Passover?

13.

DAVE

No, Elijah. Our roommate. Sorry, I

forgot to introduce you. He's

invisible. Pretty quiet too.

ELIJAH (16, faint, Crispin Gloveresque voice) speaks.

ELIJAH

Nice to meet you.

BEN

Um, you too.

DAVE

What's Passover?

A energetic knock on the door.

LIZ (16, energetic, but deeply insecure) speaks. Accompanying her every scene she's in is the sound of small wind.

LIZ

Dave! I'm so glad to see you. It's

been forever! Elijah here?

ELIJAH

Hey.

BEN

Hi, I'm Ben. Just transferred.

LIZ

I'm Liz. You'll probably be seeing me

a lot. Dave and I have been bffs since

like sixth grade. Wow, Dave, you look

so different from last year. You've

gotten...

14.

(MORE)

bigger, did you work out or something,

you look like you've gained like ten

pounds but in a good way you know,

like you've filled out, not that you

were lanky before or anything, but you

know, like... you look good.

DAVE

Huh? Sorry, I'm just trying to get

this trick to work. I got pretty good

at it over the summer but now I can't

seem to-

LIZ

Dave's got electricity powers. It's

pretty cool. Much cooler than my

powers. Which are super lame.

BEN

What can you do?

LIZ(embarassed)

I alter the air pressure in my

surrounding area.

BEN

So like, you can change the weather?

That's awesome.

15.

LIZ (CONT'D)

LIZ

Yeah... Not exactly. I can't really

control it so much as it just gets

sort of drafty around me. Kids used to

call me "wind-breaker."

BEN

Like that kind of jacket?

LIZ

I'm pretty sure they meant it like

someone who farts a lot.

DAVE

Hehe...(caught)

Kids can be cruel.

BEN

Well, hey, that's a whole lot more

than I can do.

LIZ

What can you do?

BEN

I can name all 50 states? Let's see

there's Alamama, Arkansas, Alaska,

Alberta- (changing the subject)

Say, isn't there an assembly or

something? We should go see that.

LIZ

Oh my God, you're right.

16.

LIZ (CONTD)

Dave are you coming?

DAVE

Just... One... second...

Dave fires up his electro powers. There's a big ZAP then the WHRRR of the power going out.

DAVE (CONTD)

My bad.

LIZ

I'll get the breakers...

SCENE 5:

AMBIANCE: Kids chattering in an echoey room.

SFX: Footsteps on bleachers.

LIZ

Hey Dave, I saved you seat!

DAVE

Sorry, Liz. I already told Stretch and

guys I'd sit with them. We'll hang

later.

LIZ

Oh. Okay.

BEN(eager to please)

I'll sit with you.

LIZ(indifferent)

Yeah, sure. Fine.

Ben sits down.

17.

LIZ (CONTD)

Can you believe him? Sitting with

Stretch and Igneous. Those guys

wouldn't even talk to him last year.

Suddenly he gets cool powers over the

summer and now he's "Action Comics

Number 1"

BEN

Does it really work like that? The

cooler your power is the more popular

you are?

LIZ

Of course. I got a 4.2 GPA last

quarter, you think they care about

that? No. They only care if you can

what little tricks you can do. Making

people chilly doesn't exactly get me

nominated for prom queen.

BEN

About that, I should probably get a

sweater if we're going to be friends.

LIZ

We're friends?

BEN

Of course. You're one of the first

people I met at school. That's how it

works.

18.

(MORE)

I'm not just gonna ditch you the

moment I meet someone else- Oh my God,

who is that girl? I need to go talk to

her!

LIZ

Who's who?

BEN

The girl who just walked by. The one

with the piercings and black hair.

LIZ

Margot? You don't want to get to know

her.

BEN

Oh, but I do. She's got piercings,

that means she's interesting!

LIZ

Trust me, she's a handful.

BEN(instantly smitten)

She's probably got tattoos. Oh, I bet

they're something deep like a Lewis

Carrol quote or a picture of an owl!

LIZ

You're probably not far off.

BEN

What can she do? I bet it's cool.

19.

BEN (CONT'D)

LIZ

That's the thing. Know one knows what

her power is. She won't tell anyone.

Says it's a "matter of principle."

BEN

I bet it's something amazing.

LIZ

Odds are it's probably not, and now

she's just too embarrassed to tell

anyone. At least, that's the common

opinion.

Footsteps on the stage. Headmaster pics up the microphone.

HEADMASTER

Good morning students, and welcome to

another year at Fury Charter. For

those of you who don't know me, I'm

Headmaster "Head-master" Fury.

BEN

Why did he say headmaster twice?

LIZ

Just wait.

HEADMASTER

Why did I say headmaster twice?

Because I'm both the headmaster of

this school, and I can read minds.

Headmaster takes a beat to let it sink in. He's very proud of his name. The crowd, less so.

20.

HEADMASTER (CONTD)

Anyway, before I let you all go to

your classes, I have a few

announcements. We have a new teacher

joining us. You might know him from

his crime-fighting slash world saving.

Please welcome Mr. Cody "Kodiak"

Bendis.

The crowd cheers.

HEADMASTER (CONTD)

We're very happy to have him here for

what I'm sure will be a very long

time. Now as always I'd like to remind

everyone that intentional displays of

abilities are to be restricted to the

dorms and passing time. Any student

caught using their said abilities

violently will be subject to immediate

disciplinary action.

BEN

Boy, Dumbledore over here sure has got

a lot of rules.

HEADMASTER

Students are to be restricted to their

dormitories after 8pm.

21.

BEN

Hey, when do we get to meet the

Sorting Hat?

LIZ

Shh!

HEADMASTER

Any student caught with drugs or

alcohol will be suspended.

BEN(as Headmaster)

"Also The Forbidden Forest is strictly

out of bounds!"

HEADMASTER

You there! In the back. You think I

can't here you? I just explained that

I can read minds.

BEN

Sorry.

HEADMASTER

It's fine, you're new. Just... You

know, don't. Okay? As I was saying--

SCENE 6:

AMBIANCE: Students walking and talking in the hallway.

SFX: BRRIINNGG!!!!

LUKE "STRETCH" STRAKOWSKI(17, smug, crooning voice) enters signified by a rubber stretching sound effect.

Accompanying him is IGNEOUS (18, big and slow in more ways than one)

22.

STRETCH

Can you believe Kodiak is teaching

here? That guy's such a badass.

DAVE

Totally. You think he's going to teach

us how to fight crime?

IGNEOUS

HE HAS CLAWS.

STRETCH

Right... Hey, Dave. That chick is

following you.

LIZ

Dave! Hey, wait up!

DAVE

Um, hey Liz. What's going on?

LIZ

Stretch. Igneous. Good to see you guys

again. Um, Dave, I just wanted to see

if you wanted to hang out after class

today?

DAVE

I was actually going to go to this

party tonight.

23.

STRETCH

Oh dude, didn't you hear? Headmaster

Head-master's totally cracking down,

so the guys chickened out. It's super

lame.

IGNEOUS

SUPER LAME.

STRETCH

We were just gonna probably have a

guys night, you know?

LIZ

Oh.

DAVE

Sorry Liz. Maybe some other time.

LIZ

Yeah... Unless you guys wanted to go

to my party tonight?

STRETCH

You're throwing a party?

LIZ

It seems that way.

STRETCH

You don't seem the partying type.

IGNEOUS

OUT OF CHARACTER.

24.

LIZ

What? I'm all about the party. Yeah

there's gonna be booze and pot and...

scrabble. It's gonna be off the hook.

DAVE

Are you sure, Liz? I wouldn't want you

to get in trouble or anything.

LIZ

Dave, Dave, Dave... I live for

trouble. Trouble? Risk? I've got all

of those games. You cats coming? If

you don't, you'll be... regretting it

later.

STRETCH

I could swing by.

DAVE

Totally.

IGNEOUS

PARTY.

LIZ

Alright. I gotta jet. Later.

The guys' conversation fades out. Ben's audio fades up.

BEN

Did I just hear you say you're

throwing a party?

LIZ

I may have said that.

25.

BEN

Why?

LIZ

I don't know. Dave's my best friend,

and if he's gonna hang with the cool

kids now, I guess I'll just have to

try to be cool.

BEN

And your version of cool is talking

like a member of the rat pack and

making board game puns?

LIZ

I don't do well under pressure.

BEN

Didn't the Headmaster just say

partying is a big no-no?

LIZ

He did.

BEN

Aren't you afraid of getting caught?

LIZ

Not if you help me.

BEN

And I can help you because?

LIZ

Lookk at you, you're the rebel, the

tough guy.

26.

(MORE)

You've probably thrown tons of

parties. We'll need dip. Parties have

dip, I know that much.

BEN

I may have been "expelled" a few

times, but I'm hardly a tough guy. And

even if I knew the first thing about

throwing a party, I'm honestly trying

to stay out of trouble this time

around.

LIZ

You'll come around.

BEN

Why exactly would I do that?

LIZ

Because I'll get Margot to come.

BEN

Dipwise, we talkin' bean based or sour-

cream and onion?

END OF ACT ONE

27.

LIZ (CONT'D)

ACT TWO

INT. KODIAK'S CLASSROOM - DAY

Brrriinngg Students chattering.

BEN

So. First thing we need to figure out:

Who's our guy?

LIZ

Our guy?

BEN

Yeah, who's getting the alcohol?

LIZ

I thought you were.

BEN

We need someone who can pass for over

21 and who can sneak in and out of the

building. Are there any shape-shifters

you know? Do shape-shifters exist? I'm

still figuring all this out.

LIZ

Figuring what out?

BEN

...life?

LIZ

Oh. Actually, you know what? I know

just who to talk to.

The door CLOSES. Students settle down. Kodiak enters.

28.

KODIAK

Um, hey. I'm Kodiak. This is

English... What do you want to do

today?

LIZ

Don't you have a lesson plan?

KODIAK

"A lesson plan." I should write that

down. Oh! I know what we can do, why

don't we go down the line and have

everybody tell us a little about

themselves. That'll kill some time.

Let's start with you, with the blue

hair.

MARGOT SUMMERS (16, assured, smokey voice) chimes in.

MARGOT

Hi, I'm Margot Summers. I'm a

sophomore here. I like to paint, I

have a dog named Pongo, and I'm an

only child.

KODIAK

And what's your special ability?

MARGOT

I don't think I need to say.

29.

KODIAK

C'mon, we've all got at least one.

Mine are super strength, claws, and a

high tolerance for Canadian whiskey.

Are you embarrassed by yours?

MARGOT

I'm not embarrassed, I'd just prefer

not to say.

KODIAK

Fine. Let's move on then. You, with

the mop hair.

BEN

Me? I'm Ben Gibbons, I'm a

sophomore...(sucking up to Margot)

And I'd also not like to say what my

power is. Frankly, I think it's an

invasion of our privacy for you to

ask.

MARGOT

Thank you, Ben.

BEN

It's not that we don't HAVE powers,

it's just we don't feel the need to

say. We're more than our mutations.

MARGOT

Exactly.

30.

KODIAK

Okay, fine then what else are you,

Benjamin? What makes you unique?

BEN

Um... My dentist told me I have the

largest tonsils he's ever seen.

KODIAK

Gross.

LIZ

Well done. I think you really

impressed her with that.

KODIAK

Let's move on. We've still got what,

thirty minutes to kill?

LIZ

Actually, class is ninety minutes.

KODIAK

Really? See, this is why people hate

school.

Fade up: Upbeat alt music plays

SCENE 7:

Students talk and eat in an echoey room. The song fades out.

RADIO

Alright boys and girls that was "song

title" by "band".

31.

(MORE)

You're probably expecting some sort of

little monologue to wrap up the first

part of the day, but I'm not going to

do that because I just got my lunch

and I'd much rather eat it than talk

to you. Catch you next period.

Radio signs off.

BEN

Hey, Radio?

RADIO

Yeah?

BEN

I'm curious, you're sort of the "voice

of the school," right?

RADIO

That is what it says on my twitter

bio...

BEN

Say I was throwing a party. Do you

think you'd be able to help me spread

the word without it getting too out of

hand?

RADIO

I think I could do that. What's in it

for me?

BEN

You're invited?

32.

RADIO (CONT'D)

RADIO

Okay.

BEN

Oh, man.

RADIO

What?

BEN

Look at her. So pretty. So

mysterious...

RADIO

Who, Margot? You might have some

competition there.

BEN

Like who?

RADIO

Stretch for one, he's the half-wit

who's got his freakishly flexible arms

wrapped around her.

BEN

Okay, that could be an issue. Girls

don't really go for that "cool power"

type do they?

33.

RADIO

Probably not. I mean, who'd want to go

out with someone who could stretch

every part of their- okay, she might

be into that. You've probably got a

cool power, right?

BEN

Actually... and don't tell anybody,

but I don't really have any powers.

RADIO

What?

BEN

Yeah. And also I sort of made her

think that I do.

RADIO

Huh. Well I'm sure that secret wont

blow up in your face later. Good luck!

INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - DAY

Quiet ambience. Adults softly conversing. The occasional beep of a microwave.

Kodiak awkwardly clears his throat and approaches a table where BOB(40s), nerdy, sits and eats.

KODIAK

Anyone sitting here?

BOB

Go ahead.

Kodiak sits down and pulls in his chair.

34.

BOB (CONTD)

How's the first day?

KODIAK

Not great. Everyone kept looking at me

expecting me to say or do something.

It was like being asked to do stand up

comedy for a bunch of sixteen year

olds and I'm pretty sure I bombed

hard.

BOB

You're new, you'll get the hang of it.(beat)

You know, I've gotta say I'm a huge

fan of yours.

KODIAK

Thanks.

BOB

Obviously I could never do what you

used to do, the crime fighting and

all, but it's cool that now we're both

doing the same things. Working

together.

KODIAK

I still fight crime. I just also do

this now. I guess.

35.

BOB

Oh. I guess I thought you just

retired. I mean, everybody's gotta

settle down eventually, right?

KODIAK

I'm not settling down and I'm not

retiring. I've still got plenty of

years of action left in me.

BOB

I wouldn't disagree with you for a

second.

KODIAK

Exactly. Sure, I'm pushing forty, but

Neil Young is about seventy and he's

still putting out killer tunes.

BOB

You're from Canada, right?

KODIAK

Yeah, why do you ask?

BOB

You know Rick Moranis?

KODIAK

Of course, who doesn't?

BOB

Well Rick Moranis was another famous

Canadian who was on the top of the

world back in the 80s.

36.

(MORE)

Strange Brew, Ghostbusters, he could

have kept making movies forever. He

could have done it long past his prime

or past the point of him being

relevant, but that's not what he

wanted so instead he made a few shitty

kids movies for the money and called

it quits. No scandals, no disastrous

flops, he just lives a simple quiet

life in Canada with his family. Maybe

it was a mistake, maybe he had a few

more good movies left in him, but I

don't know, it sounds like he has a

pretty nice life.

KODIAK(beat)

Did you just call me Rick Moranis?

BOB

I was just-

KODIAK

Rick freakin' Moranis?!

SCRATCH. TEAR.

BOB(gasps)

My lucky tie!

KODIAK

Be glad it's not your throat.

BRRIINNGG

37.

BOB (CONT'D)

INT. PRISCILLA'S CLASSROOM - DAY

LIZ

We officially have alcohol.

BEN

Elijah said he'd do it?

LIZ

Yep. Convincing him was easy, finding

him was the hard part. I probably

talked to ten empty tables before I

heard anyone respond. You help spread

the word?

BEN

Taken care of. Radio is walking around

broadcasting to everyone just within a

couple feet so no teachers find out.

LIZ

Awesome.

BEN

Did you...

LIZ

Get Margot to come? Yes.

BEN

Good.

LIZ

I guess we're throwing a party then.

A stretch sound effect then a quick tap.

38.

STRETCH

Um, excuse me?

BEN

Stretch, right?

STRETCH

Yeah, hey listen, I know you're new

and everything, but I sorta have a

thing going on with Margot, so I'd

prefer it if you stayed away from her.

You understand.

BEN

I'll keep that in mind.

STRETCH

You better not try to pull a fast one

on me. Because I've got ears all over

the place.

BEN

Because you're stretchy?

STRETCH

Because I'm stretchy, yeah.

BEN

Got it.

PRISCILLA STEINBERG(70s) gets up in front of the class.

PRISCILLA

Good afternoon, students. It's

wonderful to meet you all.

39.

(MORE)

My name is Priscilla Steinberg, I

teach Social Studies. I've been

teaching for thirty-five years, I have

a wonderful husband, Ira, two

wonderful kids, a timeshare in the

Poconos, and also I have telekinesis.

Fade up: Party music.

INT. DORM ROOM - NIGHT

A typical party scene. Kids mingle in a close environment.

RADIO (V.O)

Alright, alright everyone. The

festivities are in full swing. We've

got refreshments courtesy of Liz,

who's turning out to be much cooler

than previously thought.

A GUST of wind.

LIZ

You know I can hear you, right?

RADIO (V.O)

Maybe I spoke too soon. Anyway, enjoy

the party everybody.

Radio SIGNS OFF.

BEN

Liz. You keep fidgeting. What gives?

LIZ

Nothing. I'm relaxed. I fidget when

I'm relaxed. Doesn't everyone?

40.

PRISCILLA (CONT'D)

BEN

Waiting for your buddy to show up?

LIZ

Okay. Maybe.

BEN

So this Dave guy, you've got a thing

for him?

LIZ

What? No. We're friends. Just good

friends.

BEN

So were Harry and Sally. Ross and

Rachel. Han and Leia. Being friends

and having a crush on someone aren't

mutually exclusive.

LIZ

Even if I did have feelings for him,

what would you care?

BEN

Because I helped you throw this party.

And because he's my roommate. And if

I'm going to have a crazy stalker in

my room all the time I'd like to know

about it in advance.

LIZ

I'm not in love with Dave.

41.

BEN

I see. He's going to be heartbroken to

hear that.

LIZ

What! Why? Did he say something about

me?

BEN

I knew it.

LIZ

One: that's mean. And two: that

doesn't prove anything.

BEN

Oh, I think it proves a lot..

LIZ

Whatever. Your "date" is here.

BEN

Ah! Hey, Radio. Where's the sound-

system? I want to play something.

RADIO

You're looking at the sound system.

Actually my iPod is the sound system,

I'm just the speakers. The bright side

is that no one out of this room can

hear the music. But, no. You don't get

to pick a song.

BEN

C'mon. I need some mood music.

42.

RADIO

Oh. That I can help you with.

Cue: Sleazy R&B

BEN

Maybe something a little more subtle?

Cue: Mellow Makin' Out type tunes.

BEN (CONTD)

Better.(beat)

Alright. Going over there.

RADIO

You don't have to tell me that. Just

do it.

INT. HEADMASTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT

KODIAK

Headmaster?

HEADMASTER

I know what you're going to say, Cody.

KODIAK

I don't want the job.

HEADMASTER

I just told you I knew what you were

going to say, why bother actually

saying it? I swear, this reading minds

thing can be so frustrating. Want a

drink?

43.

KODIAK

It's not going to change my mind. But

sure.

SFX DRINK POURING.

HEADMASTER

You still have four days here per our

arrangement. I trust you will stay for

all of them?

KODIAK

Hey, I'm not just a man with super

strength and bear claws, I'm also a

man of my word.

HEADMASTER

Glad to hear it. Thing about this job

is that it doesn't end when the bell

rings, we also have to make sure the

students stay in line after school.

KODIAK

What do you need me to do?

HEADMASTER

First week, there's always a party in

one of the dorms, I can sense there's

one going on now but I'm not sure

where. Finish your drink and check it

out for me?

KODIAK(empties drink)

No problem.

44.

(MORE)

I'll flush 'em out just like those

terrorists we flushed out in Bosnia.

HEADMASTER

Don't kill the children, Cody. Just

find out whoever threw the party and

bring them back to me.

INT. PARTY

BEN

Heeeey Margot

MARGOT

It's Ben, right?

BEN

Yeah. Want to play Scrabble? A party's

not a party without America's favorite

word based board game.

MARGOT(laughs)

Sure. Thanks for sticking up for me

earlier. I hate that our powers are

all people seem to care about here.

SFX. Scrabble tile sorting.

BEN

Tell me about it.

MARGOT

It's like, we're three dimensional

people, we have thoughts and feelings.

45.

KODIAK (CONT'D)

(MORE)

Like you, I'm sure you can do

something amazing-

BEN

I mean, it's pretty incredible, that

super-power I have.

MARGOT

But that wouldn't make me like you any

more.

BEN(perking up)

Exactly.

MARGOT

Let's make a pact. The both of us,

that as a matter of principle we don't

ever have to tell the other what we

can do. Sound good?

BEN

That sounds like the ideal situation.

RADIO(broadcasting)

Alright everybody, looks like the

party is in full swing, I'm getting my

Mike's Hard Lemonade on. I may have

watered it down with some soft

lemonate but I'm still getting a

pretty good buzz on. And speaking of

buzzing, we've got Dave in the corner

sparking like a human tesla coil.

46.

MARGOT (CONT'D)

(MORE)

I wonder what he's up to. I also

wonder where the chips are. More

updates to follow.

DAVE

Liz, check it out, I've been going

like this for like ten minutes and the

lights haven't even flickered or

anything.

LIZ

That's... really cool, Dave.

DAVE

I can't believe you threw a party,

that's so not like you.

LIZ

It's high school, a time of change.

I'm drinking, you've got new

friends...

DAVE

What new friends?

LIZ

You know, cool kids. You hang out with

cool kids now.

DAVE

Are you mad at me?

47.

RADIO (CONT'D)

LIZ

No. I'm just- It's fine if you don't

want to be friends with me anymore. I

get it.

DAVE

What are you talking about? Yeah,

Stretch and those guys wanted me to

join some club they were forming.

Something about a youtube channel to

show off what we can do. That's what

we talking about earlier, but I don't

want to hang out with them. And even

if I did that doesn't mean I wouldn't

want to be friends with you.

LIZ

Really?

DAVE

Of course. You're the coolest girl I

know.

MARGOT

Bam. "Velcro" for fifteen on the

tripple letter plus six, times two for

the double word making it forty two

points. A boo ya.

BEN

Nice.

48.

MARGOT

See? Would that be any more badass if

I could also breath underwater?

BEN

Probably, but mainly just because it'd

be a lot more challenging to play

scrabble underwater. You'd need

magnets on the tiles or something.

Stretch sfx

STRETCH

Hey what's going on here?

BEN

Nothing man, we're just talking.

STRETCH

Looks like a little more than that. I

thought I told you to stay away from

her.

BEN

It's not like we're playing Twister or

something, it's Scrabble. It's the

least erotic game out there.

MARGOT

You told him to stay away from me? Was

I consulted in the matter? Do I have

any free will in this relationship?

49.

STRETCH

It's not like that, you can do

whatever you want, I just don't want

people mackin' on my girl is all.

MARGOT

"My girl?" Did you really just say

that?

BEN

I have more objections to his use of

the term "mackin'" to be honest.

STRETCH

You. Me. Outside. Now.

BEN

I'm not going to fight you.

STRETCH

Cause you'd lose?

BEN

Because I promised my Mom I wouldn't

get into trouble.

STRETCH

That's adorable.

MARGOT

You know what, that IS adorable. You

can stop messing with Ben, because

it's not going to get you anywhere,

we're done.

50.

STRETCH

What?

MARGOT

That was me breaking up with you. Want

me to spell it out for you in scrabble

tiles?

KODIAK(booming)

What's going on in here?

Radio's music stops.

BEN

Shit.

KODIAK

Alright, who's behind this?

LIZ(whispering)

I need to say something.

DAVE

Liz, be quiet.

KODIAK

Unless you all want to see the

Headmaster I suggest one of you step

up. C'mon, who's it gonna be?

BEN

It was me, professor. It was my idea

KODIAK

Alright, come with me, kid. And I'm

not a professor, don't call me that.

51.

INT. HALLWAY -

Echoey footsteps as Kodiak leads Ben to the Headmasters office.

KODIAK

So why'd you do it? Trying to impress

a girl?

BEN

Something like that.

KODIAK

How'd it go?

BEN

Pretty well actually. Do much partying

yourself?

KODIAK

Quite a bit back in the day. Me and

the gang would always celebrate after

we took down some supervillian or

stopped some plot to destroy the

world. Those were the days.

BEN

Teaching's gotta be pretty rewarding

though?

KODIAK

I doubt I'll be staying long enough to

figure out.

BEN

That's too bad. I was excited to learn

from the great, wild, Kodiak.

52.

(MORE)

Also I was assuming you'd probably be

pretty lax on grades. It's actually

good I'm getting kicked out already.

KODIAK

Why?

BEN

You see the girl I like, I sorta told

her I have this really awesome super-

power when I don't have any. I can't

do anything. I'm a muggle. I'm...

unexceptional. It was only a matter of

time before she found out and that

would be that.

KODIAK

Bullshit, any girl who likes you it

has nothing to do with what you can do

or what you've got. It's like those

guys who drive hundred thousand dollar

sports cars, you think anyone's going

to date them just because they drive a

Mazerati? You think anyone ever dated

me because I was famous? Sure I've

hooked up with some girls because I

am, a lot in fact, but none of those

girls ever stuck around.

You'll do fine just being you.

53.

BEN (CONT'D)

(MORE)

Just tell the girl the truth and

everything will workout. Or it won't.

Either way you're a teenager, your

life is going to suck for the next

couple decades.

BEN

Thanks, Professor. That was pretty

inspiring.

KODIAK

Really?

BEN

Really. Anyway, I better head inside.

KODIAK

Don't worry about it.

BEN

What?

KODIAK

Go back to your room. I'll cover for

you.

BEN

Thanks, Professor.

KODIAK

Stop calling me that.

Sfx. Ben runs off. Kodiak enters:

INT. HEADMASTER'S OFFICE -

HEADMASTER

Find anything?

54.

KODIAK (CONT'D)

KODIAK

Nope. All's quiet on the western

front. See you in the morning.

HEADMASTER

Cody?

KODIAK

Yeah?

HEADMASTER

Seeing as you'll be staying, I will

eventually be expecting you to teach.

KODIAK

Understood.

HEADMASTER

Glad to have you on board.

INT. HALLWAY -

Kids chattering, hallway sounds.

RADIO

Well it's day two here at Fury

Charter. The luster of day one is all

but gone and now we're faced with the

bitter realization that there's 179

more of these slow days to follow.

With that in mind, here's a song to

alleviate at least some of that

sadness and dread. Lunch is Tacos with

key lime pie for desert.

Radio's song starts.

55.

LIZ

Thanks for taking the bullet for me

yesterday. You didn't have to do that.

BEN

It was fine, Kodiak let me off with a

warning. The people in charge always

tend to go easy on you the first day.

LIZ

I appreciate it regardless. I never

threw a party before. It was fun,

maybe the next one won't get crashed

by a teacher, who knows. How'd it go

with Margot? I saw she broke up with

Stretch.

BEN

Then you saw everything. By the time I

came back she was gone.

LIZ

Well here's your chance to wrap things

up, she's coming this way.

I'll leave you two alone.

MARGOT

Hey, You're not in jail.

BEN

Nope. Got off with a warning.

56.

MARGOT

Sorry about Stretch. He's probably

going to try to fight you again later.

BEN

I'll worry about that another day.

There's something I have to tell you.

MARGOT

'Tringle' isn't actually a word? I

KNEW I should have challenged that.

BEN

I don't have any powers. I can't do

anythning. I'm just an ordinary kid

who got kicked out of every other

normal school. I wanted to fit in so I

just went along with people assuming I

could do something but I don't want to

lie to you.

MARGOT

Wow. I kinda feel terrible now.

BEN

Why do YOU feel terrible?

MARGOT

Because I can't do anything either. My

parents didn't want me to go to public

school and had a way to get me in here

for next to nothing.

57.

(MORE)

I've been pretending to be special for

years but you, you just come out and

saying on day one.

BEN

Technically day two, but-

MARGOT

Do you still like me now that you know

the truth?

BEN

Who said I liked you?

MARGOT

You won't tell anyone, will you?

BEN

Your secret is safe with me.

MARGOT

Thank you, Ben.

Sfx: Margot kisses him on the cheek.

BEN

I was not expecting that.

MARGOT

Uh..

BEN

What are you doing after school?

MARGOT

Ben...

58.

MARGOT (CONT'D)

BEN

We've gotta finish our game. I know

girls aren't supposed to be in the

same -

MARGOT

Ben!

BEN

What?

MARGOT

You're floating.

BEN

WHAT?! Oh god.

MARGOT

It's okay, just relax.

BEN

Oh god, I'm getting higher! How do I

come down?! Oh no! Oh no! AHHHH

Crash! Students mutter. Margot runs up to him.

MARGOT

Are you okay?

BEN

When I get out of the hospital, my

mother and I are going to have a very

interesting conversation.

FADE OUT:

59.