Ginger - Comedy TV Play

7/29/2019 Ginger - Comedy TV Play

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Ginger(1st Draft)

by

(Samantha Hamer)

Proofed by

(Kevin Nickells)

Girly Films81 Lustrells ValeSaltdeanBrighton BN2 8FAMob; +44 (0) 752 240 6531Email: [email protected]

Girly Films, all rights reserved, 2013


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TEASER

EXT. STREAM - NIGHT1 1

The moon illuminates a small stream and the two planksof wood forming a bridge over it. Rustling and the soundof small footsteps on soggy ground.

GUMPHErmat, Ermat wot yum dar doin?

ERMATI dunnozi Gumph.But shes dunnozis yet.Oh, deery squip!

GUMPHOh Bloop!And Lunas ripe for rippin it.

Two sets of what look like very round, small glowingeyes, blink into view. Moving through the shadows of thebank side foliage, closer to the stream. At a heightthat might suggest, whatever is talking is about halfthe size of an average dwarf.

ERMATI Knowsi, right oo it,Gonna crunch it...!

GUMPHWhy Feasal Wheet be so cutesish,Makes us fog wots us spose?

ERMATPook!Ma sqursal thumbs got stook oop mahooter !

GUMPHWot yum dar doin wid hat,

ya daft cow splat?

Slews of frantic, snot-riddled rustling. Nubbin feet mudwrestle. Caked within those shadows, as the glowing eyesbob and weave.

ERMATErble, eck erble.Ook eckin ook GUMPH!

GUMPHKeepsys shore ERMAT.Stops majanderin all owes,

Ya BLOOPIN SPLAT HEAD...!

Light starts to radiate off the stream, the very hue ofmoonlight, it builds.

"GINGER" 1.



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Starts to light up all that surrounds it. One set ofglowing eyes, the other hidden. What holds them remainscaked in shadow.

ERMAT

Erble, Erble it go dum dar doin it.Lunas at um er Majik!Pook, fecckin POOK, GUMPH,FECCKIN LOOK..!

The planks of the bridge take on this light. Make themseem like their glowing themselves. The other set ofglowing eyes turn into view.

GUMPHFECCKIN, FECK ERMAT!

Music plays out. Wraith, by Peace. [Adapt lyricsaround shes such a wraith, lady of the soul/ Moon bedark forever. Title Track, Theme Base as Instrumental]

Incandescent, naked pale skin, bathed in light. Coolingoff as if made of it. Standing on the bridge. The heels,the calves, the back of the knees, then the thighs ofbeautifully pale womanly legs. Curving, winding as if tothe music.

Not able speak properly, both at the same time.

ERMAT (V.O.)

She.. Boo.. Boo tilly. Boo... Tilly...Tilly...

GUMPH (V.O.)She... Yummet... Yum... Oh she yum, yumyummet...

We reach a gorgeously round bottom. A double splashrings out as does mumbling. Droplets of water fall ontothe peachy pale skin.

Music Builds. Rolling up past curvy hips, delicate

hands, arms and back, droplets of water upon them. Toreveal long ginger locks draped over rounded shoulders,starting to flow in curls as if in water.

The ginger locks and droplets flow in to the titlesequence.

GINGER

EPISODE ONE

FEARY

"GINGER" 2.



5/34

INT. TRAIN STATION - EARLY MORNING2 2

Close. Stylish, feminine, ginger locks. Within the forayof people whove alighted the train. To within the seaof bodies, framed by the stations cathedral like

architecture.

JAMES steps off the train, as a station Tannoy announcesthe arrival of 8:05 from London Victoria. Someone almostknocks the coffee out of his hand. Lackadaisicallyindifferent, he slowly looks up as time sets its ownagenda.

We watch a woman. In beautifully refined vintage shoes,dress and coat.

JAMES (V.O.)Oh my... Her curves, her breasts. I couldjust...

A eulogy to her hour glass figure. Lingering on herample bosom. Her pausing within her handbag. Just as webring our eyes to make out her features.

JAMES (V.O.)She looks just like Jessica Rabbit, butreal...

Her Ginger locks effortlessly swirl around and with herdissolve into the crowd.

JAMES (V.O.)Damn. Gone. If I could have only seen herface. Damn, if I could have only gottenher number. James you fool, a woman likethat would never be interested in you,NEVER!

JAMES looks up. Hes suddenly the only person now lefton the platform. We look at the station clock.

INT. OGALBY & OGALBY - RECEPTION - DAY3 3

A Rather ornate clock face but unusually with two secondhands, one of which is going in reverse and even moreoddly not even at a consistent speed.

Along with two extra dials much like a chronograph setwithin the face. Currently static and adorned withunusual symbols, as we pull out to reveal a very ornategrandfather clock, but now looking at odds with a modernoffice reception. Which we discover as we pull backfurther to reveal a man looking at the clock mesmerized.

Only to wake back up from his day dream. To the realityof the office reception counter, and in fact an officereception complete with receptionist, as if hed justdiscovered such things exist.

"GINGER" 3.



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JAMESWow... Thats some clock!

REBECCA

Hum... Yer... Its an Ogalby family hair-loom thats been at the family solicitorsbusiness since time, un I forget... Eggs?

JAMESMemorial.... Its time, time immemorial,thats what people say.

REBECCAHum... I dont fink it was that...? Egginit, eggs or summet ? But anyways, sozto keep you waiting so long. You mustknow like loads working for the BBC?

JAMES gets up holding a cup. Walks over to REBECCA.

JAMESNo problem really... Un not really, morewho you know.

(under his breath)Egg, eggs...?

REBECCA

Its just Mr. Ogalby Junior is never ereun Mr. Ogalby Senior sort-a-kinda eitherforgets or falls asleep. Your reallylucky as you'll be seeings both, itsvery un-oosh-er-wal. Really it tis.

JAMESOh... Ok, a bit eccentric aye?

REBECCANo... They have been like it all theirlives.

JAMESOwe... Kay...?I dont suppose I could have anotherplease Rebecca.

He holds out the cup.

JAMES (CONTD)It was Rebecca wasn't it ?

She fiddles with pens and paperwork all in a fluster,now avoiding eye contact.

"GINGER" 4.



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REBECCAOwe... umm... Yer just call me Becci,Cup yes... ummmm... could ya pass it tome?

He looks bemused, as hes already been holding it outfor her. The second attempt is successful.

JAMESThanks?

While he looks at her, she awkwardly takes the cup offhim, as if she cannot quite work out where it is;despite seeing it. We trace her bizarre dance with thecup. Taking it out of the room, as if it were a largeradioactive substance, rather than a mere cup.

JAMES (CONTD)(sighs, then underhis breath)

Few... Weird?

He walks back to his seat. Looks around the room. Nownoticing that there seems to be a disproportionatenumber of doors off the reception.

JAMES (CONTD)(under his breath)

Blimey, each room must be tiny?

He chuckles to himself. Suddenly finding a teddy on theseat next to him. Double taking it as if its appearedfrom nowhere. We see JAMES as if Teddy is looking athim.

JAMES (V.O.)(sheepishly)

You seem to be looking at me ? Do I knowyou, hum fuzzy bear ? I love you, I loveyou, I love you... Where on earth didthat come from ? Owe... Kay... Maybe its

just the pressure of such an importantfirst assignment getting to me? ...Orthis Place?

He shakes the fuzzy bears hand.

JAMESNice to meet you fuzzy bear, whats yourname?

The bear looks up at us.

"GINGER" 5.



8/34

INT. OLDIES HOUSE4 4

A Fuzzy Bear looks up at us, as two young lads abouteight and three, snuggle up to it on the top bunk. Thensnuggle up next to a lady with ginger hair.

SORENStoorwee auntwee Twammy.

ORLANDONO Gobstopllers Mum!

SORENWots Ob Stopplers auntwee Twammy?

TAMMYTheir what happens when you dont brushyour teeth. You did both brush yourteeth, yes?

SORENYes, auntwee Twammy

ORLANDO(giggling withfrustration)

Muuum, NO Muuum...! NO GobstopplersMuuum...!

TAMMY giggles.

TAMMYMaybe, maybe not? Anyhoo... The storystarts in a Fart. In fact a rather largesmelly one. But ironically there was noone there to actually notice.

The boys giggle mumbling Smelly Farts and such.

TAMMY (CONTD)You might think someone or something MUSThave produced the darn smelliness surely?

Let alone how the heck would I even know.Now that. That, THATs just the start ofit.

The boys giggle and fidget so excited now, makingfarting noises.

ORLANDOWas its cos there was Zombies Mum.Under the GROANED.

ORLANDO makes Zombie faces, starts groaning, then turnsthe Teddy into a Zombie. Suddenly he is taken by the

idea of hiding it under the duvet. One of its pawsstarts to slowly appear from a crack like opening. Thiscrack turns into a comic book crack.

"GINGER" 6.



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EXT. TEDDY GRAVEYARD - NIGHT5 5

Transforming the duvet and teddys paw, as slightlysinister but ever so cute claws grow. It breaks out of acrack in a teddy graveyard on a stormy night. Now living

three dimensional plates within a comic book.

The ZOMBIE TEDDY breaks through its other paw to pullits head through. As it opens its zombie mouthdramatically.

ZOMBIE TEDDYGroooweeelll, maaa ung-a-weee,Neeeed Maaa-zzz-ieee paaaaan-zzzzbwaaaa-nnnnn-zzzz

We spiral into the ZOMBIE TEDDYs open mouth.

INT. OLDIES HOUSE6 6

We spiral out of ORLANDOs mouth.

ORLANDOBwaaaa-nnnnn-zzzz

Now pretending the teddy is after SOREN and TAMMY.

SORENGrrr, grrr get you zwombie bear,

get you.

SOREN bashes teddy giggling.

TAMMYOoo you crazy, ikle, gingy Viking youSOREN.

SOREN now bashes ORLANDO.

ORLANDOSOREN!

TAMMYKind hands, kind hands now SOREN.Oooo Id Watch it Orlando, believe in itenough and you'll make it real. Andyouve SO been at Jamies zombie comics,aye?

ORLANDO(smiles cheekily)

Nar... Noooo, me, neva.Muummm...!

ORLANDO looks around furtively, trying not to giggle orsmile as his grin gets wider. He just cannot helphimself.

"GINGER" 7.



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TAMMYYer, right. Ya munchkin.

TAMMY smiles cheekily and lets out a little craftygiggle.

ORLANDO(cheeky frustration)

Muumm, No, Gobstopplers, OK! ...Muumm!

TAMMYDepends if ya brushed ya teeth,aye, aye!

TAMMY smiles cheekily and giggles. Takes teddy settlesit down and them. Tucking them up under the duvet andsnuggled up again.

TAMMY (CONTD)Okies, Calm down now. Ill start againshall I or its straight to bed.

SORENWe be good auntwee Twammy.Storwee pweeze auntwee Twammy.

ORLANDO curls his face up cheekily, to mime a zip acrosshis lips.

TAMMY

The story starts in a Fart. In fact arather large smelly one. But ironicallythere was no one there to actuallynotice. You might think someone orsomething MUST have produced the darnsmelliness surely. Let alone how the heckwould I even know. Now that. That. THATsnot even the start of it. First. First,comes this. The Story Starts...

EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - EARLY MORNING7 7

1979 Music plays out. [Cover of Original by CurrentBand]

We fly over a field, over a stream with a plank bridge,a vegetable patch and an idyllic cottage garden. AnApple tree with tyre swing, tree-house, through itsbranches to reveal the back of a Victorian House. Up tothe window above the large patio doors and through a gapin the closed curtains.

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - EARLY MORNING8 8

Following a crack of light as it streams through the gapin the curtains, on to a photograph of a 3 year old boy.

"GINGER" 8.



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To the boy himself, now about 6, smiling, clutching ontothe hand of his rather large teddy.

TAMMY (V.O.)The story starts in the wondrous smile,

of such a cheeky, ginger haired boy...

The young boy jumps out of bed to run over to thewindow. Clutching his Teddy that drags on the floorbehind him. While his mum is opening the curtains. Lightstreams into the room.

TAMMY (V.O.)A boy with such an enthusiasm, to greetthe warm sun, in the early morn of asummers day, with glee...

As the boy jumps up onto a toy chest beneath the sashwindow, his mum slides it open. At the same time weswing around the window, through the wall to reveal.

EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - EARLY MORNING9 9

The boy framed by the window, paw of teddy still inhand. His smile blossoms as he looks out on the day, wepull back to the branch of the Apple tree and an Apple.

TAMMY (V.O.)The apples about to pop...

TAMMY pops her cheek. The Apple falls.

TAMMY (V.O.)...on the cheeks of such a wide opensmile.

We the drop down to fly through the patio doors.

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - EARLY MORNING10 10

Through the living room and the living room wall intothe Kitchen. Past the AGA. Over the kitchen table, 70stable cloth, toast stand and condiments. To find the boyeating the last of his egg and toast. Teddy hangingthrough the bars in the chair.

TAMMY (V.O.)Dimples brought to life by the corners ofhis lips betraying his infectiousinnocence...

The boys mum picks him up. The boy grabs teddys paw topull him up with him. His mum licks her thumb and wipes

egg of his face.

TAMMY (V.O.)Love, nothing but love in his wide eyes

"GINGER" 9.



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Mother and child gaze into each others eyes smiling andgiggling. It calms as they move closer to gently rubnoses in an Eskimo kiss.


JAMES sideways slaps fuzzy bears hand. On the last slap,we hear a faint click. Very cute feminine tones ringout, as if from within the air. Rather from the bear itsself.

YOUNG WOMANS VOICE (V.O.)I love you, I love you, I Love you.

Bewilderment permeates through his features, as if thevoice was watching him. Floating somewhere near thebear. His mouth falls open, as he just stares at thebear, lost.

JAMES MUM (V.O.)James its Mum, James, James.

JAMESYes Mum?

KALAJames, from the BBC yes?

JAMES jumps out of the dream and out of the chair with a

start. Brushing his hand through his Auburn hair.Totally embarrassed, confused and in a fluster.

JAMESMum..? Mum, I mean yes... Sorry, sosorry. From the BBC yes... Yes. The DramaDepartment.

KALAYou nodded off there for a moment.

KALA hides the small chuckle from under his breath.

KALA (CONTD)Im Mr Olgby Junior and thats my fatherKairos, Mr Ogalby Senior... Im Kala.

KAIROS is slouched on the seat where the teddy once was.JAMES catches himself as if his legs have turned tojelly.

KALA (CONTD)Father wake up, wake up hes here. Jamesis here.

He puts his hand on his fathers shoulder and shakes hima little gently. JAMES holds up his hand in front ofhim, its shaking.

"GINGER" 10.



13/34

JAMES(under his breath)

Get a grip James, get a Grip

KAIROS is starting to stir. JAMES puts his hand out to

KALAs.

JAMES (CONTD)So sorry, its my first assignment and Ithink nerves are getting the best of me.Lovely to meet you Kala.

KALA shakes JAMESs hand warmly, folding his other handon top. To warmly look him in the eye and smile. Sendinga noticeable shiver down JAMESs spine.

JAMES (V.O.)It will be OK. No more panic attacksJames, that happened when you were a boy.It will be OK... Ok.

KALAHonesty, its that very honesty which isthe reason we asked for you James.A pleasure to meet you too young man.

JAMES looks confused again, as KALA looks the same ageas he is. Never the less he smiles at KALA. KAIROSsprings in to life.

KAIROSAh James, James. Oh James my boy!

KAIROS opens his arms wide, to give JAMES a huge bearhug and kisses him on both cheeks. JAMES does not knowwhat to do with him self. Squeezed into a stick by thishuge bear of a man. KAIROSs beard tickles, bringing onanother shiver down his spine. JAMES cannot help butgiggle, as KALA looks on with a big grin on his face.

JAMESThat tickles, Dad. Dad, dad did I say

Dad?

KAIROS chuckles heartily.

KAIROSNot far off my boy, not far off! Oh, buta whole lot more.

KALALets take this somewhere else, somewheremore private and cosy. Father, James.

KALA wraps his arms around both JAMES and KAIROS and

ushers them both over to one of the doors closest tothem. Unwraps them once at it. To open his armindicating for JAMES to open the door.

"GINGER" 11.



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KALA (CONTD)James, please.

KAIROSGo on boy, thats a good lad.

JAMES moves forward outstretches his arm. As he wrapshis hand around the door knob, he notices symbols likethat on the clock. These however make up the very formof the Knob itself. He gulps.

JAMES(Under his breath)

Blimey, here goes.


Flashback. Time slows, setting its own agenda.

We watch the woman. In beautifully refined vintageshoes, dress and coat. A eulogy to her hour glassfigure. Lingering on her ample bosom. Her pausing withinher handbag. Just as we bring our eyes to make out herfeatures. Her Ginger locks effortlessly swirl around andwith her dissolve into the crowd.

EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - DAY13 13

GINGER now eight, swirls around leaning out of the tyreswing. To settle on his cheeky face upside down, framedby the tyre, giggling.

TAMMY (V.O.)This boy is Ginger. As in everyone calledhim Ginger for rather glaringly obviousreasons.

INT. TREEHOUSE - DAY14 14

Close, a carrot as GINGER takes a bit bite out of it.

TAMMY (V.O.)Not because he eats lots of carrots.

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY15 15

Close GINGERS MUM puts a root ginger on a choppingboard and lays a knife next to it.

TAMMY (V.O.)Or the knobbly things people chop up. The

ones that look like ikle earth babies.Awe cute ikle earth babies.

We see a small hand take the root ginger.

"GINGER" 12.



15/34

INT. TREEHOUSE - DAY16 16

Close, the root ginger, as GINGER puts an action man topon it.

TAMMY (V.O.)And Ginger himself might have thoughtthey equally looked cute, rather morethan them simply looking like babies.

Close, a topless action man as GINGER flips the lever,to make its eyes move in the direction of the rootginger. In a Liverpool accent.

GINGERSee, GUMPH needs it more than you.

We fly out of the tree house window through the treesbranches, day turns to night. The bedroom lightilluminates the closed curtains as we go through them.

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - GINGERS BEDROOM - NIGHT17 17

To a messy room, now with a bunk bed, toys everywhere.We float around the room with no sign of GINGER.

GINGERS MUM (O.S.)Ginger, ginger, where are you lad, notheard a peep out of you for ages.

GINGERS MUM opens the room door to the bedroom. Looksin.

GINGERS MUM (CONTD)You there GINGER ?

Just as shes about to close the door, she hearstalking from within the wardrobe.

TAMMY (V.0.)And, as he got older things got a whole

heap weirder.

Close, GINGERS MUMs hand pulls open the wardrobe door.To find GINGER completely naked, talking to two rootgingers in Action Man tops.

GINGERS MUM(sternly)

Ginger, why on earth are you in yourbirthday suit young man?

GINGERBecause it gives me magic, silly.

"GINGER" 13.



16/34


REBECCA calls out.

REBECCA

Your coffee is ere, ello ello. Wakey,wakey tis ya coffee. Mr BBC man, Mr BBCman...? Awe hes so fit and cute... Eventhough hes is posh.

JAMES stirs and mumbles still sleepy.

JAMESNatalie is that you ? Just put it by thebed poppet.

REBECCATis Rebecca, Becci, Ogalby & OgalbyBecci... Whos Natalie ?

She tries to figure how to get out from behind thereception counter, as if it exists somewhere else. As ifshe can walk right through it. Totally confusing herselfas a result. The coffee in her hand now causes her moreconfusion and distress. Like its suddenly becomeradioactive, but is glued to her hand.

REBECCA (CONTD)Urm... Ah... Urm, I dont gets it?I dont gets it? Urm... Ah... Urm...

Calm and serine, JAMES yawns outstretches his arms. Hegets up from the seat. Walks over to REBECCA.

JAMESShe was my girlfriend. I really miss hertoo. Its ok I'll get it Becci.

REBECCAWhat happened, Erm... Ah.. Erm...

JAMES

She left me for her best friend.

He takes the cup of coffee. A sigh of relief rings outfrom REBECCA.

REBECCAFanks so much, phew. The bastard, thatmust have been harsh?

JAMESHer best friend not mine, Kate. Kate. AndI did not suspect a thing, I really likedher too?

REBECCAOh my gosh a rug muncher!

"GINGER" 14.



17/34

REBECCA starts sucking her thumb.

JAMESYes, a lesbian Becci. They wenttravelling the world. Had tickets for a

flight that night. The day I caught them,the day I caught them in our bed... OURbed ? Are you ok Becci ?

REBECCA still talking with her thumb in her mouth.

REBECCAYup, fine. But yous is a really niceguy.

JAMESNice, nice was apparently the problem.Too honest, not fiery, not passionateenough. Not on the edge, not creative andof course not a GIRL. Kate is in a prettysuccessful Band. Hence the travel.

REBECCAIve neva ad a boyfriend.

She starts crying.

REBECCA (CONTD)Im luckily to even ave a job fanks to MrOgalby & Mr Ogalby.

She totally breaks down.

JAMESOh Becci, Becci.

JAMES jumps over the reception counter. Falls to thefloor picks him self up, brushes himself down. To wraphis arms around her. Hold her, stroking her bleachedblonde hair.

JAMES (CONTD)

Becci, oh Becci I did not mean to talkunder my breath like that earlier.

She snivels still crying, fighting to talk through thetears.

REBECCAIts not that. Its just... just Ivealways been so dif-fer-rent.

JAMESErm... Its ok, youre not so differentyoure gorgeous in fact. Sorry to change

the subject but when do you think Ill beseeing Mr Ogalby & Mr Ogalby..? I feellike Ive been waiting here for aneternity.

"GINGER" 15.



18/34

REBECCA pulls herself together. JAMES notices a box oftissues on the counter table. Passes them to REBECCA.She takes one carefully as if fearful of it. A singledab, disposes of tissue, repeats. She notices a note inbeautiful ink scribed handwriting.

REBECCA(Snivelling)

Ooo where did that come from..? Oh, itsays just go into town and Mr Ogalbyjunior will touch you. I mean be... Giveya a buzz. They mustav got busy, therealways so busy like.

JAMESOk well, this place is just sending me tosleep. It would be soo good to get someof that sea air.

EXT. PIER - DAY19 19

The sun shines down as James sits on a bench eatingcandy-floss.

JAMESBlimey, do I need a sugar rush or what.

Just as he thinks hes settled, his phone starts goingoff. While digging for his phone, a young woman with

ginger hair goes past talking to her girlfriends.

JAMES (CONTD)Hi, James McKarthy speaking.

Looking up he notices the young womans hair being blownby the sea breeze.


Flashback. Slow. We see the womans Ginger locks

effortlessly swirl around.

EXT. PIER - DAY21 21

The sun shines down as JAMES sits on a bench eatingcandy floss.

ADAM (O.S.)James, James, its Adam. Adam your boss,is everything going OK. Are you there...?James, James...?

His jaw has physically dropped. Eyes like saucers.

"GINGER" 16.



19/34

JAMESYes, yes, sorry Adam. Everythings justfine, all under control. All veryeccentric as you warned me, not that Iactually really expected it.

He peels off a piece of candy floss and places it in hismouth. Surprised his mouth is still there, let aloneable to form a conversation.

JAMES (CONTD)So just here on the pier taking in somesea air waiting on a call from Olagby &Olagbys. All very cloak and dagger. Noteven met them yet, after the receptionisttold me I was actually supposed to bemeeting both of them. Just spent an houror so at their offices to be sent awayinto town.

ADAM (O.S.)Ok, good, well stick with it and keep meupdated on developments. I did not expectthe rumours to be true myself. Just incase, Ill get Julie to book you into theGrand and send the details to your phone.We want to make a good impression and ifyou feel youre out of your depth at anypoint Ill come down and give you a hand.Got to dash Ive got a meeting with

producers on Silent Witness.

JAMESNot to worry all very laid back here.Ill let you know as soon as I do. Have agood one.

He goes to swipe the phones screen to end the call tonotice his finger is shaking. His hand now reverberatesthe phone into his pocket.

JAMES (CONTD)

Just calm down, calm down James. Justhave more sugar.

Just as he peals of another piece of candy floss, handmildly quivering and is about to place it in his mouththe phone goes off again. He immediately shoves his handinto his pocket complete with candy floss.

JAMES (CONTD)Oh for fucks sake!

He scrambles to wipe off the candy floss. In so doingopening up the call.

JAMES (CONTD)Oh fucking, fucksticks!

"GINGER" 17.



20/34

Now clean but sticky he realizes that the call is open,but from an unknown number.

JAMES (V.O.)Thank fuck for that, few.

He places the phone near his ear, the shaking now undercontrol.

JAMESHi, James McKarthy speaking. Who is this?

INT. PAM & BOBS - DAY22 22

BOB, bare chested, holding a partially eaten carrot inone hand and a stunning Art Deco phone in the other.

BOB(chuckling)

Oh James, now that was a jolly good boutof swearing young man. Its Robert,Robert Prat... The Butterbee Prats, whyyour here, the Chronicles. Feel free tocall me Bob though, everyone else andtheir vegetable calls me Bob... Awe thoseadorable vegetables, dont you just lovethem James. Stop complaining little MrOrange. A little highly strung especiallycarrots... Or should I say Mr Bond, with

all this sneaky, sneaky aye James...?Double owe, owe James are you there youngman...?

EXT. PRIMARY SCHOOL - DAY23 23

A quaint small primary school. A stone Victorianbuilding next to a village church. We fly low throughthe playground, over the hopscotch markings, then aroundto the back of the building.

INT. PRIMARY SCHOOL - TOLIET - DAY24 24

Through a small window into the toilets. Through thedoor of a closed cubicle, to find GINGER there sobbinghis eyes out.

GINGER (V.O.)No, NOOO not again, Not again. Why did Ihave to poo myself again?

He looks around the cubicle still sobbing.

GINGERGumph, Ermat, are you there my sweetfunny friends? I really need you.

"GINGER" 18.


(MORE)


21/34

Marcus and Charlotte will be so horribleto me again. Theyll get all the othersto join in too. Mrs Sellars and my mum,you know what she does. Only you andNanna understand. I just wish Dad was not

so busy with work and sure Stephen justwants to Murder me after he fired thatarrow into my eye.

He hears the door to the toilets open, stops talking.Tries to hide his crying.

MRS SELLARSAdrian are you in here boy? Adrian,youre not crying yet again are you? Whatis it now? Youve not gone and defecatedyourself again have you boy?

EXT. THE LANES - DAY25 25

As JAMES walks through the lanes. He pauses to dig intohis phone.

JAMESBlimey, where the hell is Hove ? It mightas well have a frigging hoof in hell forhow this phones sat nav has gonecompletely berserk. Maybe if I look upFat Boy Slim on Google...? Oh this utter

piece of Shit!

Just as seagull shit lands on his shoulder. We hear aseagull cry as if goading him, hiding his expletives.

JAMES (CONTD)Oh for fucks, sake! This shitting,pissing town is doing my fuckin nut in!Oh and you can fuck right off, flippingpsychotic rat with wings!

He suddenly realises hes in a lane full of people

shopping.

JAMES (CONTD)So sorry. Terribly sorry. Wild animalsfor you.

To his shock he sees the seagull flying right at him.

JAMES (CONTD)BUGGER!

The seagull flies in to repeatedly attack and pursueJAMES down the narrow lane. Him fighting it off as he

tries to run away from it. Avoiding bystanders. Politelyapologizing to them at the same time.

"GINGER" 19.


GINGER (CONT'D)


22/34

EXT. THE MAD HATTER - DAY26 26

To establish. JAMES walks past two workmen, trying totidy himself up after the seagull affray. Theirequipment and barriers, around a large manhole cover in

front of the pub. We descend beneath the ground.

INT. SEWER - DAY27 27

Light streams down into the darkness from the manholecover. Lighting the ladder up to it and a large puddleof water reflecting light on the walls. A man walks outof the shadows with a robot under one arm. Then talksinto a radio.

DAVEIts like the walls have fallen away halfway down, but the gas line seems intact.What are the early results from the S.S.Rso far Frank?

FRANK (O.S.)Looks like the gas line half way down,beyond rubble at the end of that sectionis definitely damaged.

DAVECheers Frank. OK Im coming back up. Senddown the line for the S.S.R, Neil.

NEIL (O.S.)Coming down mate.

A line comes down. DAVE attaches the robot to the line.

DAVES.S.R attached Neil take her up.

As the robot ascends, DAVE hears a noise looks around,thinks nothing of it, then looks back up at the ladder.

NEIL (O.S.)OK shes clear.

DAVECheers on my way up.

DAVE climbs the ladder. Once out of view the manholecover is closed, to leave only a couple of fine streamsof light enclosed by shadows.

One set of glowing eyes appear from the darkness. Anevil mischievous chuckle rings out. The eyes disappearagain as the chuckles echo rings out. Silence, but for

water and dripping sounds.

Lots of glowing eyes start appearing of different shapesand sizes.

"GINGER" 20.



23/34

Followed by a plethora of giggling, chuckling, fartingand silly noises echoing around the sewer.

EXT. KINKY PARLOUR - DAY28 28

Eyes fade into the blacked out windows of a shop front.JAMES approaches a big 66 above the door. A securitycamera on the wall next to it.

JAMESWell, deep breath, this looks like theplace, phew.

He attempts to tidy himself up, then presses theintercom. Steps back a jot, looks up at the camera,holds his hand up and smiles. To looking at his feet inexpectation. The intercom crackles into life, a femalevoice in a fluster.

MISS JEZABELLE (O.S.)Mr Johnson Ive told you already, yourspanking is not till twelve thirty! Iknow youre keen but mistress will nottake on clients that pester.

He presses the button on the intercom.

JAMESUrm... Urm, its not Mr Johnson, sorry I

must have the wrong place.

MISS JEZABELLESo Sorry the cameras on the blink. Andyou are?

JAMESJames, James McKarthy, Im looking for 66Half Acre Mews.

MISS JEZABELLEAh, this is 66 Half Acre Mews in a

fashion. Give me a moment and Ill cometo the door.

INT. PAM & BOB'S - DAY29 29

Close, the stunning Art Deco phone starts ringing. Thebare chested BOB picks it up.

BOBBob, Bob Pratt here.

MISS JEZABELLE (O.S.)

Hi Bob, its Jenny, Ive got a man at thedoor a James, James McKarthy. Are youexpecting anyone?

"GINGER" 21.



24/34

BOBOh hello lovely lady. Yes, yes Jenny.Hes the young man from the BBC. Do lethim in and maybe give him a little treattoo, while youre at it. Sure hell love

that.

He giggles.

MISS JEZABELLEAny guest of yours is a guest of mine,sweet man.

BOBEnjoy lovely lady.

Into the phone.

EXT. KINKY PARLOUR - DAY30 30

Out of the camera. JAMES awkwardly paces in front of thedoor, arms folded. Self-conscious of passers by. A girlgiggles as she walks past. He smiles looking like aconsummate pervert, putting his hand to his face.

JAMESShe must have known, blimey Im sureeveryone must know round here. They mustall think Im a complete pervert. If only

Bobs number was not ex-directory. Ifonly Id not just frozen up? Calm, CalmJames, no more panic attacks.

MISS JEZABELLEJames, James.

JAMES jumps out of his skin, then turns to face thedoor. A gorgeous woman with black hair, a leather corsetbarely holding her ample bosom and cuddly figure.Bearing a big metal syringe. JAMESs eyes nearly popout of his head. She giggles.

JAMESUrm... Urm.. Sorry, so sorry you startledme. Miss, Miss? Thats, thats...

MISS JEZABELLEYes thats a Big Syringe, oh it IS fun.Its Miss Jezabelle, but just call meJenny youre not a client.

She giggles.

MISS JEZABELLE (CONTD)

Well I just spoke to Bob, so youre inthe right place, do come into my parloursweet boy.

"GINGER" 22.



25/34

She guides him over the threshold of the door, wraps herarms around him and kisses him on both cheeks. JAMEStries to keeps his eye on the syringe worried.

JAMES

Urm... Urm, Lovely to meet you. Jenny.

MISS JEZABELLELovely to meet you to sweet boy, awe youARE sweet.

She giggles again and closed the door on us.

INT. KINKY PARLOUR - DAY31 31

A plushly decorated reception area, mirroring a poshwine bar. The art on the wall the only tell. JAMES sitson a leather settee, next to a glass coffee table withmagazines and a coffee machine on it. Not thinking hecasually picks up a magazine Skin Two and opens it.

JAMESOooh... MY !

He turns it around a bit, closes it slowly and slowlyplaces it back on the table. Double tapping it there,more than a bit shocked.

MISS JEZABELLE

Ah James, well thats Wormy boy allcleaned out and sent back to his wife.Now, James, what is little Jamesy boyinto then? Are WE a naughty boy? A VERYnaughty boy?

She seductively sits on the settee next to him, crossesher legs. Takes one finger, strokes it out from underhis chin. JAMES pulls back. For her to place it in hermouth, then remove like a popscicle. JAMES cannot helpbut glance her cleavage, her legs and the very pointyheels on her shoes.

JAMESUrm... Urm... Im so sorry Jenny, but Ireally am here on work. And I really dohave to have this meeting with thePratts and report back to my boss. Notsaying youre not gorgeous.

(gulps)As you really ARE utterly gorgeous Jenny.

He starts to stands up, now asserting himself.

MISS JEZABELLE

Awe Jamesy boy, why youll make meblush.

"GINGER" 23.



26/34

MISS JEZABELLE kicks out his feet, he falls bang intoher cleavage.

MISS JEZABELLE (CONTD)Now, how on earth did that happen? Oh

Jamesy boy, how forward!

She giggles and pushes his head further into her bosom,JAMES gasping for breath.

EXT. PAM & BOBS - COURTYARD - DAY32 32

Close, a sugar lump plops its way into fine china cup oftea. On a white metal table within an idyllic pavedcourtyard. We see JAMES appear behind, dishevelledtucking his shirt into his trousers. Tie undone, buttonsopen, lipstick over his face. Now part of the shirtsticking out of his fly.

JAMES (V.O.)Jessica Rabbit. All I could think aboutwas that all too real Jessica Rabbit?

He sighs, strokes his hand through his hair and looksup. His jaw drops.

BOBAh, I see, see you got acquainted withJenny. Awe she IS a lovely girl.

PAMA very loving girl too, isn't she Bob.

BOBYes dear, very loving indeed.

PAMNow dont just stand there with yourmouth open gawping young man. Come andgive aunty Pam and uncle Bob a kiss andcuddle. Then well make some lunch. We've

been waiting quite a while, haven't weBob.

BOBYes, dear. In fact ages. Good show lad!You ARE a dark horse aye!

He chuckles. JAMES sees BOB standing slightly beyond aeasel naked. Surreal strokes setting the form of a plumpFaery on the canvas. PAM sitting next to the table toone side of it, equally naked. A full china tea service,cake and biscuits upon it, as he walks towards them.Trying to ignore the fact, not knowing where to put his

eyes and clearly not succeeding.

JAMESUrm... What an idyllic courtyard.

"GINGER" 24.



27/34


Close, we pull out of a family picture showing PAM &BOB, their two children and three grandchildren allnaked. We pull out to, two glasses of port being poured

out. To BOB still naked holding onto one glass andpassing JAMES the other, against the plush eclectic,bordering on eccentric interior of their home.

BOBThere you go young man, take a good swig.Its a mighty fine vintage.

JAMESThank you Mr Pratt, its very kind ofyou. The lunch was the best lunch Iveever had, I think. And those fairy cakestoo, they just melted in my mouth.

BOBYoure more than welcome young man andits Bob, just Bob. Oh that Pamsirresistible urge to tempt the palette,with the most concise olfactoryexplosion, ever to be slopped within themoist crack of the fluffiest confection.

BOB chuckles.

BOB (CONTD)

Lifes for living and indulging in allits fruits. Oh, and does that Jenny havesome buxom fruits. Substantially ediblein fact.

JAMES blushes and takes a swig of port.

JAMESUrm... I have to admit... Urm yes, yesshe does.

BOB

Great, youre starting to loosen up youngman. Well you can tell me all about itlater. All the mouth wateringly filthydetail. But now onto business my goodfellow. Come with me to our writingstudy.

BOB puts his arm around JAMES who flinches a little,still uncomfortable with the nudity. A delayed shivergoes down his spine.

JAMES (V.O.)Not, again. Ewe, its like when they made

me cuddle them. More port James, moreport that will do it.

"GINGER" 25.



28/34

JAMES takes another good swig of port. Now at the doorBOB unwraps his arm and puts his arm out signaling forJAMES to open the door.

BOB

Please James, do.

As he goes to turn the knob he realizes hes seen itbefore.


Flashback. We see every moment JAMES had seeminglyforgotten. From the moment he went to turn the knob atOGALBY & OGALBY speed by in reverse. Ending on the samesymbol the knob is constructed of within the Clock.


Back out through one of the symbols within the Knob.Back to JAMESs shaking hand about to wrap its selfaround it.

JAMESBugger, big fat farmers TODGERS!

BOBThats the spirit! Swing both ways aye?

We rise to the ceiling.

INT. WRESTLING ARENA - DAY36 36

Looking down from the lighting rig above. Pumping Music,interspersed with commentary. Sets the tone, flavouredby GINGERs imagination. The bell rings out, as GIANTHAYSTACKS crashes into his OPPONENT, we fly down intomelee.

Close, spiralling around, sweat covered, testosteronefueled faces, of these men embattled. GIANT HAYSTACKSnow within a headlock.

Time slows, commentary blurs, as the actions preceding athrow start to unfurl. Giant Haystacks OPPONENT fliesthrough the air in this temporal haze. Rolling up hisbody outstretched before the crash. Time becomes frozen.We continue to follow his body out through the inside ofa television screen.

"GINGER" 26.



29/34

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - NANNA JENKINS ROOM - DAY37 37

Into NANNA JENKINS room. GINGER sitting cross-legged ona rug, the image of the TV screen reflected within hisspectacles. NANNA JENKINS in her chair behind. Time &

reality resumes.

GINGERBOOM. Cricky, Nan, did ya see that like.

NANNA JENKINSOh I, GINGER. Look, now hes picked himup and put him across his knee, smackinghis bum like. Hes clearly been a naughtyboy.

They both burst into laughter. Close GINGERs laughterturns into a lost moment. From nowhere he bursts intotears.

NANNA JENKINS (CONTD)Oh switch off da telly and come erelove. Come an give ya Nanna a cuddle andtell her all about it.

Still snivelling and sobbing he switches the televisionoff and runs into his grandmothers arms.

NANNA JENKINS (CONTD)Oh GINGER, whats up, whats up aye lad?

Stroking his hair, she looks down into his face. Himcurled up into her, snivelling uncontrollably.

GINGERIts... Its... Owe Nan.

NANNA JENKINSAye, take ya time love, take ya time.Is it school?

He nods his head, still not able to talk for snivelling.

NANNA JENKINS (CONTD)I know ya Ma can be hard on you too. Itsnot your fault now Ginger, its not yourfault love. Ya mas going through a fairbit at da mo, I just wish shed not rubya face in it, you cant help it poppet.

He breaks down into more crying.

INT. OLDIES HOUSE - BOYS BEDROOM - NIGHT38 38

Tears start to dew in TAMMYs eyes. SOREN has fallenasleep. ORLANDO notices her holding back tears.

"GINGER" 27.



30/34

ORLANDOThat was a bit sad. You OK Mum?

She puts on a big facade of a smile.

TAMMYYes poppet. Oh it will get reallyexciting and really silly. Just youwait...! Can you give me a hand withSoren? Let me just get on the ladder.

ORLANDO starts to try and move SOREN over to his mum.SOREN wakes up slightly sleepy.

SORENWant Mummy, wheres mummy antwee Twammy?

TAMMYMummys in hospital with Daddy, waitingfor your baby brother to come out ofMummys tummy poppet. There, come toAunty Tammy and she'll snuggle you up inyour bunk. Give Orlando kisses and acuddle.

ORLANDO crawls over and gives SOREN a kiss and a cuddle.

SORENLove you, Orlando

ORLANDOLove you, night, night Soren.

SORENSee you soon.

SOREN wraps his arms around TAMMYs neck. She steps downthe ladder, to snuggle him up in bed with his littlesoft toys.

SOREN (CONTD)Love you, antwee Twammy. See you soon.

TAMMYLove you Soren, kisses & cuddles.Pass me Mestopholies Orlando.

ORLANDO passes TAMMY the bigger teddy.

TAMMY (CONTD)Kisses and cuddles for Mestopholies.

She passes the teddy back up to ORLANDO. She goes backinto the bunk, SOREN is already asleep. She brushes hishair back softy, kisses him on the forehead. Climbs the

ladder back up to ORLANDOs bunk. Wraps her arms aroundhim and snuggles in.

"GINGER" 28.



31/34

TAMMY (CONTD)Lots of kisses and cuddles, Mestopholiestoo.

ORLANDO

I love you Mum.

TAMMYI love you too poppet. Just missingLister so much, our own Gingy.

ORLANDOI know mum.

TAMMYSweet dreams. Night Night poppet.

She comes out from under the covers, tucks him in,gives him another cuddle, brushes back his hair andkisses him on the forehead. Pulling out, the light goesoff replaced by a stream of light. Back further.

INT. OLDIES HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT39 39

Through the crack in the door.

TAMMYNight, night.

ORLANDONight Mum.

She closes the door gently, leans with her back againstit. Slides down and curls up in a little ball on thefloor next to it. Digs into her phone. Brings up apicture of a cheeky Ginger haired boy. To break downcrying. We slowly arc around her, remaining in viewuntil we slide into the wall.

EXT. FAERIE DIMENSION - MEADOW - DAY40 40

We pull out behind a gnarly tree, arc around to reveal,a cuddly curvy FAERY with bright red hair, dancingaround in the distance of an overgrown meadow next tothe gnarly tree and a stream.

BOB (V.O.)A particular faerie dimension, somewherebetween the year nought and infinity...

We continue an arc past a clump of close meadow grass.

"GINGER" 29.



32/34

EXT. FIELD NEAR THE A361 - DAY41 41

A clump of grass next to a road where we take flightover a young man in trendy hippy 70s clothing in afield next to it.

BOB (V.O)...but certainly influenced by oneNupworth Barnsts LSD trip at the 1971Glastonbury Fayre, well to be honest itwas in a field next to the A361 on theway, as he never actually made it.

As we arc over him he LSD warps into.

EXT. FAERIE DIMENSION - MEADOW - DAY42 42

A small flying creature, as an idyllic valley flows intothe distance behind MIRY, now dancing down the bank ofthe stream. Other magical bug sized creatures fly aboutregardless as we continue an arc around her. Apart fromtwo particular bugs who collide with each otherdistracted by the sexy FAERY, and spiral out of the airas a result.

PAM (V.O)Its a shame he based his whole lifearound the fact hed been to thatconcert. His mum still goes to the W.I

and makes some bearable fairy cakes, butalways uses that horrible fake cream.

BOB (V.O.)Yes dear. SHE was all white and fairylike, and in that not quite cream way.But not to be confused SHE is a barelyedible Feary not a barely edible cake.Although the cake might have a completelydifferent view on that altogether.

PAM (V.O.)

SHE of course is Miry, isn't she Bob.

BOB (V.O)Miry, yes dear.

MIRY dances into the stream and starts (singing).

MIRY(singing)

Tweetle, dum.Tweetle, dee.Me needs to.Tweetle, pee.

The world spirals around MIRY as she spirals around inthe opposite direction. Water flying into the air aroundher.

"GINGER" 30.



33/34

Time displaces, MIRYs red hair, the water thatsurrounds and is upon her flows disappearing in elementsof light that affect, distort then blur into nothing.

The vista blurs into the Gnarly tree as we continue to

arc around behind it.

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - CORRIDOR - NIGHT43 43

We follow the wall of the corridor to reveal the opendoor of the bathroom with MIRY sitting on the Toiletsoaking wet, with her pantys around her ankles solidand real. The odd flicker of existing at a differentangle dries her. Moving past the door she sorts herselfout, as we continue along the corridor.

INT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - NANNA JENKINS ROOM - NIGHT44 44

Continue into room. Close, to reveal an expression ofhorror on the face of NANNA JENKINS as she realizesshes about to have a car crash in her mind.

We enter her time and follow her slowly down as shecollapses to the floor. Part of the way down we see hereyes, she not there. Time stops. The room blurs andflows into a different angle.

INT. PARALLEL - NANNA JENKINS ROOM45 45

MIRY enters the room. Time starts to move slowly in timewith her sumptuous steps. By the time MIRY reaches NANNAJENKINS, she has impacted with the floor and is lyingthere fitting in time to MIRY bending down to her, as wespin around behind MIRY.

We pull out to NANNA JENKINS fitting body blending intothe room. A solid NANNA JENKINS falls into existence.Starting at the same position we saw her loseconsciousness and falls in real time to catch her self

fall next to her own body and look up in astonishment atMIRY. MIRY Smiles.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY46 46

Music plays out "In The Shallows" by Daughter. NANNAJENKINS lying in a bed, an eerie shade of pale, lifebarely hanging onto her. GINGER sitting on a chair nextto her.

We look into GINGERs green eyes and find MIRYsreflection upon them.

"GINGER" 31.



34/34

MIRY (V.O.)(whispers)

Love?Nothing but LOVE in his wide eyes.

EXT. STREAM - NIGHT47 47

GINGERs green eyes, the moons reflection upon them.Music continues. Pulling back GINGER sits on the plankbridge naked. Looking at the reflection of the Moon andStars in the shallow stream. GINGER slips out of view tomerely see the reflection.

We hear watery sounds as GINGER gets in. GINGER layingdown in the shallow stream. The water flows over oureyes. The subtle rippling distortion of the moon and thestars through it.

From behind a cloud a green shooting star crashesthrough the night. As it collides with another cloud,shards of three other stars break off.

Close, we see their reflection in GINGERS eyes and thewaters surface as they flow into the credits.

DEDICATED TO

MY CHILDREN, ROBERT, EDMUND & LOGAN

IN LOVING MEMORY OF

LILY JENKINS

Music blends to play out, Wraith by Peace.

"GINGER" 32.

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