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Give Yourself The Gift Of Limits

Sometimes, I tackle more complex topics.

This is one of them.

I have a very special message for you today, and it’s directed to a very special audience. I’m dedicating this special message to the approval addict, the chronically nice, the people pleaser, and anyone else who needs to love themselves more. These are people who lack Personal Boundaries.

A person without Boundaries doesn’t like himself. In his hunger for love, he’ll bend over backwards to make other people like him. He’ll lose his own personality to please others. Because he’s allergic to conflict, he won’t speak out his wishes or opinions. He fears angry, intimidating people. He usually gets trapped in enmeshed relationships. He allows himself to be abused by Controllers.

Solution? Give yourself the gift of limits. When you give yourself the Gift of Limits, you end up giving the world a bigger Gift of Love. If you don’t build your boundaries, then you won’t help anyone—including yourself.

Let me explain what boundaries are…

What Are Boundaries?The Fence Around Your Life

Boundaries are your sense of self. It’s your love for yourself. It’s your self-value, self-concept, self-definition.

Boundaries are like the protective Fence around the property of your life. A physical Fence prevents harmful stuff—like snakes, or rabid dogs, or vandals, or thieves—from entering your property. A psychological Fence does the same thing—it prevents harmful habits and harmful people from entering your life.

1. Harmful Habits

Remember, addictions are a hunger for love. When you don’t value yourself, you’ll allow harmful habits to come and steal away your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

I remember talking to a beautiful girl. After chatting for awhile, she said, “Excuse me Bo, but I have to puff my cancer stick.” I felt so sad her. Smoking is bad enough. To call a cigarette a cancer stick is so much worse. Because our body is very obedient. It will simply follow what you tell it to produce.

2. Harmful People

If you don’t value yourself, you allow harmful people to steal away your time, or your health, or your peace, or your purity, or your freedom, or your money, or your dignity…

This is difficult to do because we believe that good people always say YES. After all, Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)

Hey, if you’re emotionally healthy, you should follow this call right away. But what if you’re not emotionally healthy? If you’re an emotionally broken person without personal boundaries, following this call right away will be a disaster.

A broken person is attracted to a religion that says, “Deny to yourself!” and “Die to yourself!” because he doesn’t like himself. Question: How can you deny yourself and die to yourself when you don’t even have a self?”

But that’s what some broken people do. These boundary-less people don’t love themselves, yet they try to give love in an effort to gain love. And they end up even more broken.

Before you deny yourself, build your boundaries! Before you give love to others, receive God’s Love to heal your brokenness, give you a powerful sense of self, and teach you how to love yourself.

Once you’ve built your boundaries, then you can deny yourself for others not based on fear but on real love.

Help Yourself So You Can Help Others

That’s why I love the Good Samaritan story.

I’m struck how Sammie had good boundaries. (Sorry, Jesus didn’t give us a name, so let’s call the guy Sammie.) How do I know he has good boundaries? Jesus included this important detail in the story: The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ (Luke 10:37)

I find this little factoid absolutely fascinating. Jesus could have said, “And Sammie stayed with the injured man for three days until he recovered.” But that wasn’t what He said. Jesus said that Sammie delegated the injured man to the innkeeper because he had to take care of his own business. I don’t know what business he was in. Perhaps he was selling Ipads and had to see a customer in the next town.

Sammie probably said, “This isn’t the last guy I’ll be helping on the road. There’ll be more injured, wounded, poor guys along my path. So I need to continue my little business so that I’ll be able to help more people.”

I pick out two powerful lessons here.

First Lesson: When you help others, you should never forget helping yourself. Don’t kill the Goose that lays the Golden Egg. The Goose is you. The Golden Eggs is your service. Take care of you so that you can continue to serve.

Second Lesson: When you help others, do it with a team. Don’t try to do everything by yourself or you’ll burn out. Give yourself the gift of limits and you’ll be able to give a bigger gift of love to the world.

The 4 Most Common Broken Fences In Your Life

How do you build your Boundaries?

After 30+ years of helping people, I’ve noticed 4 of the most common areas where we have broken Boundaries. These are like broken fences where thieves enter and steal God’s blessings from your life:

<!--[if !supportLists]-->1. <!--[endif]-->Our Money Fence is Broken

<!--[if !supportLists]-->2. <!--[endif]-->Our Body Fence is Broken

<!--[if !supportLists]-->3. <!--[endif]-->Our Friendship Fence is Broken

<!--[if !supportLists]-->4. <!--[endif]-->Our Helping Fence is Broken

1. Our Money Fence Is Broken

It’s your personal responsibility to build your finances.

In our old way of thinking, Christians should never think about money. I think that’s nuts. When you help others, you should help yourself financially. That’s not selfishness, that’s self-love.

If you’re a parent, then let me speak to you. I know you love your kids. But don’t spend everything for your kids. Give yourself the gift of limits. You need to set aside a portion of your income for your future personal needs. Because if you don’t invest for yourself, you’ll end up burdening your adult children to pay for your old age. You want to be grow old and grow rich at the same time.

2. Our Body Fence Is Broken

I see this so often: When mothers no longer have time for themselves because of the children’s needs.

Don’t do that. Or you’ll burn out.

My message to mothers: Eat the right food. Take vacations. Exercise. Take time to pray. And see to it that you have “alone” times. And time to be with your girlfriends. I love it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends. Because I know that when she comes home, her Love Tank is full, and she has much love to give to me and the boys.

I see this same “burning out” among Christian Leaders. If you’re a Christian leader, be like Sammie. Delegate. Work as a Team. Meet your physical needs. Watch what you eat. Establish an exercise program. And take vacations. It isn’t a sin to ask for one!

3. Our Friendship Fence Is Broken

When you were growing up, your mother told you, “Choose your friends.” I’m going to say the same thing to you.

Don’t just spend time with the people who are most available to you or with the people that’s right in front of you. Be deliberate with who you spend your time. Because your future will be shaped by the people you hang out with.

First, there are Nourishing Friends. After hanging out with them, you feel inspired. You leave their presence encouraged. Enlightened. Elevated.

Second, there are Negative Friends. After spending time with them, you feel drained. Deflated. Depleted. Discouraged. Damaged. And sometimes, devastated.

If Nourishing Friends are Terrific Friends, then Negative Friends are Toxic Friends.

It’s their negativity that saps our energy. They complain a lot. They love to criticize others. They love pointing out the faults of others.

Here’s my advice: Love yourself and avoid Toxic People. Life is short! You only have a short time on planet earth. Hang out with the people that nourish you.

Some Christians think that because God calls us to love all sorts of people, we have no choice but to spend time with the Toxic people 24 hours a day. We feel guilty and think, “My gosh, if God chose to spend time with the lovable only, then He wouldn’t have spent time with me.”

But that’s precisely the point. You’re not God. You have limits. Love yourself and give yourself the gift of limits.

Look. I’m not saying, “Don’t love Toxic people.” We should. But if you’re spending 80% of your time with Toxic people and 20% of your time with Terrific people, you need to invert the proportions. Be deliberate in choosing who you hang out with.

4. Our Helping Is Broken

We don’t know how to help others. Many times, our helping doesn’t help at all. It doesn’t help the person we’re helping and it doesn’t help the helper.

The wisdom of the Bible can fix this. The Bible is brilliant. I find it amazing how a 2000-year-old text contains practical solutions to modern psychological problems. (Actually, they’re not really modern—they’re just named in a modern way.)

Take Galatians 5. This chapter contains two seemingly opposing instructions. In verse 2, it says Carry each other’s burdens… And then in verse 5, just three verses after, it says for each one should carry his own load.

At first, I was confused. Do we help or do we not help?

The Answer is in the Greek text. If you look at the original Greek translation, it’s clear. “Burden” means Boulder. And “Load” means Knapsack.

So the literal Greek Translation can be like this: “Carry each other’s BOULDER… for each one should carry his KNAPSACK.”

Meaning?

Help those who CAN’T carry their burden—But don’t help those who can but WON’T.

In other words, don’t take on the personal responsibilities of other people. If you do, your helping isn’t really helping, but harming.

Let me give you an example. If you’re a mother, you brush the teeth of your toddler. But at a certain point, you ask your child to take personal responsibility for brushing his teeth. It will be very awkward if you still brush the teeth of your 27-year old. There’s something bizarre if Mom says, “Son, open your

mouth. Wider please. I need to reach your left molar. So, how was your sales presentation this morning?”

Give yourself the gift of Limits by knowing where your responsibility ends and where the other person’s responsibility begins.

A Story With A Big Question

I read this story from Rabbi Edwin Friedman. I got the main concept but changed a few details:

Imagine you’re standing on a bridge.

Suddenly, a man comes running to you with a rope tied around his waist. He hands you the end of a rope, and asks, “Can you hold this for me? Really tight, okay?”

“Uh, okay,” you answer, not understanding why. When you hold the rope, he walks to the edge of the bridge and jumps off!

You’re stunned. You pull the rope with all your might to prevent him from falling further into the water beneath the bridge.

“Don’t let go of me or I’ll die!” he screams from below.

You answer back, “You’re crazy! Why did you do that? Climb up the rope!”

He says, “You’re now responsible for my life! Don’t let go of me or I’ll die!”

You look around. There’s no place to tie the rope. The guy was right—he was now your responsibility! But you feel your strength weakening…

Here’s my big question: What will you do?

Tough Love

There are certain people in this world that will give you their own knapsack (not boulder) and ask you to carry it for them.

But if you’re a person with no boundaries, you’ll take their knapsack or responsibility, thinking this is what Christian Love is. But actually, you may be helping not because you love, but because you want to be loved.

Many years ago, I was helping a very poor family. So I hired the father to work for me as a messenger. But he wasn’t doing his job well. No matter how his supervisor coached him, he didn’t want

to work even to satisfy the basic requirements. Plus, everyone in the company didn’t like to work with him anymore.

So I had this problem: Do I let him go? But his job was the only thing that fed his family. Guilt prevented me from firing him. But something in me told me I should.

And that was when I realized something. What if my helping was no longer helping but harming? What if I was holding him back from changing his life? I realized that the job I gave was his comfort zone. If he stayed there, he would never change for the next 30 years. It was clear that he would remain a mediocre messenger for the rest of his life. But if he no longer had that comfort zone, there was this slight chance that he would be forced to change. By not firing him, I was preventing this chance (no matter how slim) from happening.

Here’s my lesson: Don’t always save people from the painful consequences of their decisions. (It was his decision to be an inefficient messenger, not mine.) Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is to allow a person to experience the bad results of his bad choices.

The Bible talks about Tough Love.

St. Paul said, If one will not work, neither let him eat. (2 Thessalonians 3:10) Pretty harsh, don’t you think? But that’s the point. That harshness may be the trigger that will force him to change his life.

The Bible also says, A worker’s appetite works for him, for his hunger urges him on. (Proverbs 16:26) Don’t always save people from their hunger. Because that hunger may move him to change.

Let me now go back to the story of the bridge and, just like a few Filipino Telenovelas, offer you two endings.

First Version: Happy Ending

The man hanging from the rope screams again, “Don’t let go or I die. I’m now your responsibility!”

You shout, “I refuse to make your life my responsibility! You were the one who jumped off the bridge in the first place. I warn you, you have probably five more minutes to climb up here. After that, my physical strength would be gone. When that happens, I have no choice but to let you go!”

The man shouts, “No, I am your responsibility. If you let go, I die! You can’t let go…”

After five minutes, your strength is gone. Your arms collapse and you let go. The rope slips through your bleeding hands. The man screams and falls into the water.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t die. He swims to shore. At that moment, he has an “Aha” moment. He realizes he should stop jumping off bridges. He changes his life.

Now for the second version…

Second Version: Tragic Ending

You scream to the man, “I can’t hold on anymore! I probably have five more minutes before I lose all my strength…”

The man screams back, “You have to hold on. If you let go, I die. And my blood will be in your hands.”

Stricken by fear, you tie the rope around your waist—and you hold on for as long as you can.

But slowly, you’re getting weaker. You feel dizzy. Your body inches towards the edge of the bridge. And then it happens—you fall off the bridge.

The man you were trying to rescue hits the water first. He does not die. He swims to shore. But when you hit the water, you could not swim because you were so weak.

And you drown and die.

Dealing With Controllers

Obviously, I like version one.

But you’ll be surprised how many people follow version two.

The man who jumped off the bridge is what you call a Controller. A Controller doesn’t respect the boundaries of another person. He wants to impose his will on you.

There are two types of Controllers in this world. The Aggressive Controller and the Manipulative Controller. (The man with the rope was a Manipulative Controller.) To control you, the Manipulative Controller uses guilt while the Aggressive Controller uses anger.

And the only way to deal with a Controller?

Love yourself and give yourself the Gift of Limits.

For many decades, I’ve received the “ropes” of other people and held on. How could I let go? I’m a Christian. I’m a Christian Leader. With much guilt, I held onto the ropes of other people. But along the way, I felt exhausted, empty, and even depressed.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t really loving.

Soon, I realized that I need to help myself so I can help others. When I have a healthy sense of self, then I can freely CHOOSE to deny that self, die to myself, and live for others.

I give myself to others not because of fear or shame or guilt.

I give myself to others because I truly love.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

PS. Six Keys To Super Health Revealed: I’ll be making available a 6-Talk Video Course entitled Awaken The Healer In You. Because I know it’s impact upon your life will be much more powerful than just reading the book. I want to ship this DVD set to you (including my book, of course). To get an idea of this program, get my free eReport, My Morning Health Habit, at www.HealerInYou.com

Filed under: Blogs by bosanchez

68 Responses to “Give Yourself The Gift Of Limits”

Mell aganon, on June 25th, 2012 at 5:22 am Said:

Bo words are not enough to capture what’s inmy heart. Your website brings mePeace love joy and everything my heart and soulNeeds. Today I promise myself to startloving myself, to create a new me. God isSo good to let me discover this website….The best in the whole world. Thanks a bunch!

ho mary jocelyn, on June 25th, 2012 at 6:13 am Said:

thought-provoking!

nvv, on June 25th, 2012 at 6:18 am Said:

Wow its just nice to see people be enlightened on what we are into and we all forget the true sense and meaning of the word BEING and give it a meaning of DOING unconciously…it is the great journey we give also to ourselves the gift of SELF-DISCOVERY…

Jenny Bayot, on June 25th, 2012 at 7:04 am Said:

Thanks Bo!This issue helps me a lot.

Maria, on June 25th, 2012 at 7:10 am Said:

Just what I needed to learn! Thanks so much! It was a big enlightenment! Praise God!

Mae Ballena, on June 25th, 2012 at 7:19 am Said:

This is something to think about. This somehow changed my idea of helping, loving others. Just when I thought I was giving love, I wasn’t.

Elvin Peria, on June 25th, 2012 at 8:24 am Said:

Thank you Bro Bo for another inspiring article.

Thank you for reminding us that we need to help ourselves first before we help others.

Je, on June 25th, 2012 at 8:32 am Said:

Another great article to start my week right! :))

elvie araullo, on June 25th, 2012 at 8:32 am Said:

this is a complex issue that was made simple to understand. a great writer can simplify complex issues. this is truly a great article.:) many thanks, bo sanchez.

Anne, on June 25th, 2012 at 8:40 am Said:

Was praying last night about this.I have had this kind of dilemmaWith my family. To help or not to help. Reading this the following morning isLike manna from heaven. Thanks Bo.

Heiden Ibarra, on June 25th, 2012 at 8:48 am Said:

Another good thoughts to jumpstart the workweek. Let’s all have a blessed day ahead.

joy salgado, on June 25th, 2012 at 9:45 am Said:

Brother Bo,

a well-said article once more! it leads me to rethink my personal boundaries…. I love this article!Thank you Brother Bo! You’re brilliant!!!!!

May GOD bless you more as always!

joy

Janny, on June 25th, 2012 at 10:28 am Said:

Yes, this is very true. I pray that I will have the gift of limits and I pray that I will serve with love. Thank you for this enlightening message, Bro. Bo!

Angel, on June 25th, 2012 at 10:31 am Said:

Been tired of chasing over my husband… maybe it’s about time that I set boundaries… Today, I’m giving myself the GIFT OF LIMITS ! I have tried hard enough.. and it’s not working.. better yet, I’ll start loving myself.. and find happiness on the truth that God loves me !

Thank you so much Brother Bo !

Carissa Del Castillo, on June 25th, 2012 at 10:32 am Said:

Thank you for this article…very inspiring and informative. It really help mo open my eyes specially on my current situation. Thank you very much brother Bo! may God bless you always

Carissa

perla, on June 25th, 2012 at 10:34 am Said:

Thank you for making me realize that I need to give myself the Gift of Limit…. All the best to you Bro. Bo.

Jinky, on June 25th, 2012 at 10:36 am Said:

Thank you Bro. Bo!

This is the exact answer to my question. Yey!

May the good Lord bless you always! ^_^

I still have to love myself more so that I can love others more. I’m halfway there! ^_^

Praise the Lord for He is the source of all wisdom!

trisha, on June 25th, 2012 at 10:44 am Said:

thanks Bo you are an inspiration, u never failed to uplift my spirit everytime i read your article, thanx much for leading us to the right direction of how to be a better person and how to hElp others…God speed

sha, on June 25th, 2012 at 11:02 am Said:

Very timely message! thank you Bro. Bo.Love this line a lot:

“Give yourself the gift of Limits by knowing where your responsibility ends and where the other person’s responsibility begins.”

Smiley, on June 25th, 2012 at 11:18 am Said:

Big Thanks bro Bo for sharing this great great article! I agree, we must know our limits and set boundaries in helping other people even with our own family members.

In my experience, i share your two practical stock market books (My Maid Invest in the Stock Market/A Turtle Always Win) to my co-workers, and i told them to take charge of their own financial. I just share how i open an online account etc. and it’s just up to them if they follow or not, i just share what i know and i deliberately told them that i’m not responsible or to be blamed for whatever will happen to their finances if they too will invest in the stock market. I just share them the books, COL Financial, the Truly Rich Club and that’s it. I think i’ve done my part and that’s where my responsibility ends..Keep inspiring and informing us. More Power to you and your Ministries.GODBLESS us all.. ”,)

Be TRULY RICH! Join the Club now!!http://www.bosanchezmembers.com/amember/go.php?r=25053

http://www.bosanchezmembers.com/amember/go.php?r=25053&i=10

Sonia H Elona, on June 25th, 2012 at 11:48 am Said:

Great day Bro Bo!Great topic! Ang sarap ulit ulitin…We Filipinos usually do not practice this THING Gift of Limit or Boundary…because we love to please others. I for one is a good example of being a pleaser( but limited edition only)…with this Article I should be more aware of my behavior/decisions etc,towards others. I should put Limits. Thank you Bro Bo,you are always there reminding us to be true to ourselves. God bless you more and your Family….

catharine, on June 25th, 2012 at 11:53 am Said:

thank you Bro.Bo for inspiring me through your blogs.God bless you always

Rochelle, on June 25th, 2012 at 12:33 pm Said:

Thanks Bro. Bo for a very inspiring article this Monday—-Give yourself a Gift of Limits—–

connie, on June 25th, 2012 at 12:43 pm Said:

once again thank you very much for your message,piling ko lahat ng ito tumama sa akin,january ng malaman ko na ang b.f ko nabuntis ang isa nya pa g.f thats way i’im now feeling alone and hopeless becoz im pregnant too, im giving birth to my son this coming month of sept, without anything support from my x b.f but i trust god ano man kalagayan ko nakahawak ako ng mahigipit sa kanya lang ako kumukuha ng lakas at sa tulong n din ng mga mensahe mo at magazine, thank you so much.natuklasan ko na my bro.bo pala, more power we love u po.maari po b na magazine nyo na lang ako mag subcribe paano po b magsubcribe para makatanggap ng magazine nyo kasi po malapit na ako manganak at hindi ko na madalas machecheck ang email ko.thank you po uli.

Junar, on June 25th, 2012 at 1:13 pm Said:

Thanks Bro. Bo for the wonderful article as always! I’m also a proud member of your Truly Rich Club. It has helped me a lot, not only financially but spiritually as well.Thanks Bro. Bo!

P. S. For More Info, here’s the link below:

http://bosanchezmembers.com/amember/go.php?r=22401

Renee, on June 25th, 2012 at 1:48 pm Said:

Very powerful and very empowering!Truly The Holy Spirit is upon you.Thank you!

Paki check lang po, parang hindi na proof read ng maigi.May mga konting typo resulting to grammar glitches.Salamat po.

God bless you and your ministry more and more!

Set Boundaries | blog SNAPS, on June 25th, 2012 at 2:08 pm Said:

[…] I simply love the latest article from my favorite Preacher Bo Sanchez. In this article, he talks about the importance of setting boundaries and showing tough love for people who wishes to manipulate and control you. You can find his article here Give Yourself The Gift of Limits. […]

Del Guillen, on June 25th, 2012 at 2:58 pm Said:

Thank you!

Genine, on June 25th, 2012 at 3:26 pm Said:

Very refreshing and enlightening reminder. Maraming salamat po. God bless you always.

Eugene, on June 25th, 2012 at 4:10 pm Said:

” How can you deny yourself and die to yourself when you don’t even have a self?” - this logical line puts things indeed in a right perspective. I praise the almighty God for using Bro. Bo articulate this one.

scratte08, on June 25th, 2012 at 5:04 pm Said:

Thanks Bro. Bo! I’ve always been like that..doing everything just to please others..but like what you’ve written..i feel very exhausted now..you’re right..i need to love myself more so that i can give more love to others..thank you for the reminder..please continue to inspire more people..

God bless you and your family!

Hutch, on June 25th, 2012 at 5:13 pm Said:

Dear Bro. Bo,

A very timely message for me! Thank you very much for making me realize that I should give myself the gift of limits…GOD bless you and your family! GOD bless your ministry!

love&prayers,Hutch

jhen, on June 25th, 2012 at 6:29 pm Said:

Hi Bro. Bo!

Thanks for all your wonderful messages. It is really true.

In some other ways, I wanted to please others but most of the time I’m a controller, especially at work and with my husband.I now realize why my husband says “stop telling me what to do”, it’s because i didn’t respect his boundaries and i wanted to be in control with his life.This article gives me an insight and better way to improve myself and improve our relationship as well.

Thanks for this one. I’m looking forward for your next article.

God bless us always.

Lena, on June 25th, 2012 at 8:29 pm Said:

as the song goes…

“Learning to love yourself,It is the greatest love of all…”

tin, on June 25th, 2012 at 8:54 pm Said:

thanks Bro. Bo:) just like the song goes..let it be 2x..what would be the answer, let it be..

elsie, on June 26th, 2012 at 4:15 am Said:

Dear Bro Bo,

More often times i didn’t have used my limits, So confusing. As i read this article I’m so enlightened. Now i realize how impotant to build our boundaries in daily lives in such a way loving ourself. Thanks a lot bro Bo.

More power to you .. and God bless!

EMILY, on June 26th, 2012 at 5:30 am Said:

Your stories teach me to become a better person.

Hannah Grace Samson, on June 26th, 2012 at 9:32 am Said:

I feel so much refreshed and blessed with this. Thank you for being God’s echo to me Brother Bo. Thank you will never be enough.

leah, on June 26th, 2012 at 10:23 am Said:

God is good all the time! thank you for the inspiring article bro. Bo. thanks for being a blessing.

ARCHIE, on June 26th, 2012 at 10:28 am Said:

I work in a call center, particularly in a U.S. billing account where callers are very angry and frustrated most of the time. And reading your emails everytime I get them after work has helped a lot in bringing back the PEACE OF MIND, HEART AND SOUL that have been somewhat disturbed (and drained out) after dealing with those mad, angry, raving, negative customers all night.

I feel so thankful and BLESSED that I signed up for your email, Bro. Bo.

I wish I could go back to my highschool days when I used to buy and subscribe to Kerygma. I know that God has a special plan for me (and for everyone else too.)

I feel like I am slowly re-discovering what God has planned for me. I really want to help other people and continue with my dreams of doing charity work for the needy and the poor and this article has really been very helpful to me. Not to mention, very enlightening and inspiring too!

May you continue to be Blessed so that you can still bless more and more people everyday, Bro. Bo and shine the Light on us all always!!

Joanna, on June 26th, 2012 at 2:19 pm Said:

I wonder if that ‘guilt’ thing is a Filipino thing? Regardless to say, thank you for sharing this article. Thank you.

Anne, on June 26th, 2012 at 7:26 pm Said:

Hi Bo,

This topic entails deep understanding to all readers especially to concerned individuals - controller and the victim?

As what it says, “God helps those who helped themselves” and “teach a person not only how to eat the fish but more importantly on HOW to catch the FISH!

It’s very important to share this to OFW, whose dependents in Philippines won’t realized what sacrifices our Bayaning Filipinos embraced away from their loved ones but the latter are just enjoying what have been provided to them. Most relative will just depends on the allotment given to them monthly

extended to their whole clan. Thus, most of them stop working or never seek for employment and just live luxuriously. Never did they thought when it will last and the provider will never last long?

The most painful is when an OFW gets old, retrenched from work for some economic slump down and nothing happened to the money sent, all spent and debts bombarded as the burden was solely shouldered by the poor OFW…

Hope your article may help as an eye opener to all your avid readers.

God bless evryone with Wisdom from up Above.

In Christ,Anne

Dan Martin, on June 27th, 2012 at 12:29 am Said:

Thank you Brother Bo!

Super wonderful story! I saw the play of the story live in The Feast in PICC. We really had a good time and yet learned a golden lesson.

God bless!

Gemma, on June 27th, 2012 at 7:50 am Said:

Hello po,Thanks for this kind of message. It really enlightened my mind. It made me feel free from worries of my past. I was totally guilty and maybe stiil feel the same now with what I did to my 5 years relationship with my ex-boyfriend and along with that I was the one who always made efforts for us to still hold on (as if I’m a man) but suddenly I felt tired. It was really an exhausting moment that I suddenly realized that “It’s ENOUGH”. Those moments also the moment that he couldn’t stand on his own life that he always needs me. I also realized that I gave him all and my everything. Five years of being with him, loving him and supporting him all the way. I also felt guilt but I also thought that If I wouldn’t did it maybe he’ll just rely on me and nothing will happen to him. Thank God that he was able to over come the situation which he got what he really wanted before so now he’s okay. I thank God for it that he was able to achieve something even though I wasn’t with him. I also missed him but there’s no way to meet him and be with him again. I always wish him the best as I was always dreamed for him. I’m also praying for my self too that he’ll forgive me and I’ll be totally free from worries.Thank you Bro. Bo.

kim, on June 27th, 2012 at 12:15 pm Said:

you really help me to know my self even more. thanks a lot:))

Ruby, on June 27th, 2012 at 12:18 pm Said:

Bro Bo, I THANK GOD FOR GIVING YOU TO ME…BECAUSE I’VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOU….GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!!!!!

pearl, on June 27th, 2012 at 12:25 pm Said:

Hi Bro. Bo,You are truly one of God’s gifts to the Filipinos. Always, you’re stories are absolutely enlightening, ever practical. unfailingly answers all the perplexities of human relationships. I pray for God’s ceaseless blessings on your health, family, wealth and relationships.Thank you.

Ric / Life N Canvas, on June 27th, 2012 at 3:34 pm Said:

Need to hear this today. Thank you so much Bro. Bo. God bless you, your family and your ministries!

Don Miguel, on June 27th, 2012 at 3:42 pm Said:

Very true, wonderful and inspiring! God bless Bro!

tp valdez, on June 30th, 2012 at 7:41 pm Said:

“Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is to allow a person to experience the bad results of his bad choices.” This is true!

Romeo, on July 1st, 2012 at 8:51 am Said:

Thanks Bro Bo for an inspiring message and advice. God bless you and your ministry

dave House, on July 3rd, 2012 at 5:39 pm Said:

Thank you brother for send out a wonderful and vey inspiring soul food message.

God bless.

dave House, on July 3rd, 2012 at 5:40 pm Said:

Thank you brother for send out a wonderful and very inspiring soul food message.

God bless.

arlene, on July 4th, 2012 at 2:45 pm Said:

Thank you Bro. Bo. You gave me a reason to say NO to manipulators and aggressors.

mark, on July 4th, 2012 at 7:22 pm Said:

Hi Bo, You strengthen my life and also the people around me by sending and sharing those wonderful,inspiring message on me to share.. thank you so much Bo.

Maki-Piyesta! Share Abundance at The Feast | www.edwinsoriano.com, on July 5th, 2012 at 2:44 pm Said:

[…] Last week, my friend Lawrence started telling me how he absolutely could relate to the story about the helpless friend who tied a rope to “you” and jumped of the cliff with a river below. This was a story about taking care of yourself (the gift of Limits). When I heard that story from Lawrence, I saw how powerful a good story is. People can relate to it better, people can share the story to other people more easily. Read the full story of the man and the cliff-jumping friend here: (scroll down to) A story with a Big Question. […]

Making a U-Turn | Heart & Grace, on July 8th, 2012 at 8:14 am Said:

[…] from today on, I’m going to Give Myself The Gift Of Limits (click the link, it’s a wonderful article by Bo Sanchez that is so on-spot for me). I need […]

Change Something | Heart & Grace, on July 8th, 2012 at 8:36 am Said:

[…] from today on, I’m going to Give Myself The Gift Of Limits (Click the link. It’s a wonderful article by Bo Sanchez). I need to take responsibility for […]

Deme Boy, on July 8th, 2012 at 3:25 pm Said:

Many thanks Bro. Bo. you have inspired me so much with this very enlightening article. I pray that by God’s grace I can apply this to myself and learn to value and love my self and my family first before I continue extending help to my other family members who seemed not satisfied witht the little help I have extended to them in the past. More power to you Bro Bo and God bless you and your family!

Popeye, on July 9th, 2012 at 12:35 am Said:

This is so true in Philippine setting…Most of us are so so dependent sa kapamilyang ngtrabaho sa abroad.Too dependent…na karamihan sa atin ay istambay. At sobrang overpopulated na tayo…dahil kulang sa edukasyon. Just imagine our population is over 90M plus 12M working abroad…Kaya hindi masyadong umasenso sa pinas…at ang hilig p nating mgpasikat…super materialistic…hindi ng-isip sa future…Sa ibang bansa…walang mga istambay…everyone is working…very independent…Kahit gaano pa sila kayaman…marunong p rin silang mgtipid…Thank u bro bo for this story. I hope everyone of us learned to value thyself…

God bless u and ur ministry!

Leonadel Pavia Carlos, on July 11th, 2012 at 4:23 pm Said:

salamat, kuya Bo!

iyon nga po naiinis ako sa mga controller, hayst… ako man alam ko naging biktima din nila ako…

ganun p man, salamat po ng marami Kuya Bo!

blair, on July 13th, 2012 at 8:32 pm Said:

kuya bo,

i must say that i was really struck pretty hard.

sobrang tinamaan po ako. all my life, i’ve been like this, and i guess this is the reason why i always feel hurt and unloved, i always feel burn out after giving all that i can. anyways, i am 19 and i am hoping that i can slowly heal my broken fences in life.

keep reaching out to people kuya bo, you never know how i feel when i read this. i felt like you were talking to me, strucking me really hard with needles cm by cm of my whole being.

i hope one day i can be a part of your family, kerygma and the feast.

may god give you more wisdom.

love, blair.

Joshua, on July 15th, 2012 at 8:01 am Said:

I realized that I should take of myself when it comes to finances. I want to help more people. I can do that if I have enough money to support myself for a lifetime. I don’t want asking for money when I get old.

How to Say No to Distractions, Yes to God’s Big Blessings | www.edwinsoriano.com, on July 15th, 2012 at 1:15 pm Said:

[…] saying “No” through a talk by brother Randy at The Feast (Makati). It explained the Gift of Limits. There are some people (I was one of them) who find it hard to say “No”. I personally […]

Michelle Lascano, on July 17th, 2012 at 11:27 am Said:

Bo, truly, God is good for giving me a chance to read your stories. Im in the process of loving myself and at the same time of not being a controller to others who love me. I started looking for this website when one time i was so tired of all my worries and anxieties and i just wanted to let go and let God…but i didnt know where to start…then, i started googling your name, and I found all these. God truly loves me…i thought before he didnt, i was the bullseye for going thru all the hard times, but the more i read about your stories, the more i understand a lot of this that freeds me from all the wrong thinking that gives me wrong feelings…thank you Bo!

kriman, on July 20th, 2012 at 2:52 pm Said:

Food ro the soul thank you bro sanchez

PhilHouseandLot, on July 29th, 2012 at 8:39 pm Said:

thank God because He gave us you brother bo for sharing this inspiring article to us.

LC, on July 31st, 2012 at 12:42 pm Said:

This message is timely for breadwinners. Thanks.

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