Group Counseling handout

Spring 2007 Friendship Enhancement Group 1

Group Counseling: Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendships in Middle School Students

Emily Worsnopp

The purpose of this group is to help middle school sixth and seventh grade students with

poor friendship skills learn specific social skills to improve peer relationships. Group topics

include identifying positive friendship qualities, learning skills to enhance conversation abilities,

recognizing the importance of body language in communication, and learning how to effectively

solve friendship problems. Students are referred by teachers via a form provided by the School

Counselor or through discussion at a student’s CSE meeting, and the group is appropriate for

those who have few friends, are shy or withdrawn or who display inappropriate social skills that

hinder friendship development. The group is formatted to be held in five 30-minute sessions,

and each group is designed for approximately six students.

Offering a small group to enhance the friendship skills of middle school students is

important for a variety of reasons. At this stage, friendships may be especially significant to a

healthy social development because adolescents frequently look to their friends to fulfill their

emotional needs as well as to practice their socialization skills (Lefrancois, 1999, p. 348).

Students lacking this social network thus may not have the necessary opportunities to learn how

to best interact with their peers. Furthermore, adolescents who are unable to develop quality

friendships experience heightened anxiety about school (Sunwolf & Leets, 2004, p. 196). There

also is evidence that inclusion in a healthy peer group predicts academic success for sixth and

eighth grade students (Wentzel & Caldwell, 1997, p. 1206). School counselors are in a position

to help improve the academic and social success of students who have difficulties making and

maintaining positive peer relationships by designing a group to teach them specific social skills

that they can use to improve peer interactions and enhance friendships.


Teaching Social Skills to Enhance FriendshipSession 2: What Does it Mean to Be a Friend?

Author: Emily WorsnoppGrade Level: 6/7Group Size: 5 studentsTime: 30 minutes Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle

Goal: ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.

Objective: Students will be able to identify friendship qualities and discuss basic friendship concepts.

Materials: 1 skein of yarn.

Procedure: Ice Breaker Activity: The Spider Web

Begin by explaining that the group will be doing an activity to get them thinking about what friendship means to them.

Give the ball of yarn to one student and ask him or her to name one quality that they consider as important in a friendship. Have the student pass the ball of yarn to another student to continue the “web” until everyone has identified one quality that is important to her or him. Before “cleaning up” web connect the image of a web to friendship (interconnected, reliant upon many parts, etc.)

Discussion: Have students continue to talk about friendship qualities. Some questions to ask include:

Is your view of friendship the same as everyone else in the group? What is different? Why is a certain quality more important to you than others? Are there different ways to act with different friends? (ex: acquaintances, close

friends) What are some easy/difficult things about maintaining friendships? Do they have friends that have some of these qualities? What do they think makes them a good friend?

Homework: Introduce the idea of homework and explain its purpose in helping to transfer the things discussed in the group to their everyday life. Have students pay attention to interactions that they have with their peers until the next session. What friendship qualities do they already exhibit? Are they happy with their friendships? What is missing (from what they do and from what others do) Have students write self observations down and keep observations in friendship folder to discuss at next meeting.

Evaluation: Students evaluated based upon their ability to identify and discuss friendship skills.

Ice Breaker Activity adapted from:Hulse, C. M. (2004). Lesson 38: The spider web. New York State school counselor

association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp. 88-89). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.


Teaching Social Skills to Enhance FriendshipSession 3: Conversation and Listening Skills

Author: Emily WorsnoppGrade Level: 6/7Group Size: 5 studentsTime: 30 minutes Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle

Goals: ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation SkillsNYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social InteractionNYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts

Objective: Students will be able to effectively initiate and maintain a conversation and understand how conversation skills are important to friendship development and maintenance.

Materials: Conversation and Listening Skills worksheet

Procedure:Follow-Up on Homework Discussion:

Begin by having students discuss reactions to homework from previous week. What did they discover? How did interactions with peers make them feel? How do they

feel about their current friendships? Have students name one of the qualities identified in Session 2 that they exhibited.

Transition to new Lesson: Expanding your social network and communicating effectively with others:

Begin by discussing why being able to effectively start conversations and communicate with others is essential to developing successful relationships. It is important to know how to start, continue and end conversations for success.

Ask student to discuss what is scary/easy about starting new conversations, and what is challenging for them about having conversations, especially with new people.

Pass out “Conversation skills and Listening Skills” worksheet and discuss. Have group members role play conversation skills (ask for volunteers). Encourage all

students to participate. Ask members to come up with situations that might be challenging for them. Examples might include meeting a new person, asking for help, pairing up with someone for a class project.

Have student reflect on role-play. How did it feel to be the one initiating the conversation? Responding?

Homework: Ask students to initiate at least one conversation with a new peer over the next week.

Have them write down the results of the conversation, including how they felt, about the interaction.

Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their contributions to the group and their ability to demonstrate effective communication skills.

Session adapted from:Waksman, S. & Waskman, D. D. (1998). Conversation Skills. The waksman social skills curriculum for

adolescents: An assertiveness behavior program (4th ed.) (pp. 31-35). Austin, TX:Pro-Ed.


Name: ______________________________

Conversation and Listening Skills

Approach with confidence.

Make eye contact.

Ask questions about things that interest the other person.

Focus on the person talking.

Get your point across without interrupting.

Listen and respond actively.

Close conversation appropriately. (“It’s been nice talking”, “See you later”)

Worksheet adapted from:Richardson, R. C. & Evans, E. T. (1996). Rules for listening. Connecting with others:

Lessons for teaching social and emotional competence, grades 6-8 (p. 82). Champaign, IL: Research Press, p. 82.


Teaching Social Skills to Enhance FriendshipSession 4: Understanding Body Language

Author: Emily WorsnoppGrade Level: 6/7Group Size: 5 studentsTime: 30 minutesSetting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle

Goals:ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation SkillsNYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social InteractionNYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts

Objective: Students will be able to effectively demonstrate and describe positive and negative body language and relate these skills to friendship enhancement.

Materials: Body Language in Communication handout

Procedure:Homework Review:

Use the “go around” method and ask students to share conversation experiences. Were they able to initate conversations? What was difficult about it? What was easy? Did they learn anything?

Transition to new topic: Explain the importance of body language for communicating. Pass out Body Language in Communication worksheet and discuss body language “dos”

and “don’ts” and review worksheet. Practice body language styles on sheet, and encourage students to have fun with it, especially the “don’ts” category.

Have students get into pairs. One pair at a time, have student briefly talk about any topic. One person should talk and the other should demonstrate body language “don’ts”. Have partners switch roles but now have the listener demontrate body language “dos”. After each group has gone have students go around the room and discuss behaviors that they noticed and how it made them feel (as the listener and talker).

Did members notice any ways that they (or others) use body language effectively in the group? Go around and ask people how they think their body language impacts how peers view them. How can body language impact friendship?

Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their ability to effectively describe and demonstrate appropriate and negative body language and discuss the importance of body language to friendship enhancement.

Adapted from:Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group

Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland, ME: J. Weston Walch.


Name: ______________________________

Body Language in Communication

The communication process is nonverbal as well as verbal. Behavior expresses meaning, sometimes more clearly than words. To be effective in our relationships with others, we need to be able to tune into body language and tone of voice. Did you know:

70% of our communication comes through our body language. 23% of our communication is through our tone of voice. 7% of what we communicate is through our words.

We need to pay attention to how we say things as well as what we say.

Dos Don’ts

Eyes good eye contact Stare, glare, jittery, no eye contact

Voice (volume) loud enough to be heard clearly

too soft or loud

Voice (tone) tone communicates understanding

disinterested, gruff tone, sarcastic

Facial expressions matches your own or other’s feeling; smile

frown, yawn, sigh, scowl, blank look

Posture leaning forward slightly, relaxed

leaning away, rigid, slouching, crossing arms

Movement toward away

Distance arm’s length too close (less than 2 feet); too far (more than five feet)

Adapted from:Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group

Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland, ME: J. Weston Walch.


Teaching Social Skills to Enhance FriendshipSession 5: Problem Solving and Termination

Author: Emily WorsnoppGrade Level: 6-8Group Size: 5-7 studentsTime: 30 minutesSetting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle

Goals:ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.ASCA Personal/Social Standard B: Students will make decisions, set goals and take necessary actions to achieve goals.NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation SkillsNYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social InteractionNYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts

Objective: Students will be able to identify problem solving steps and apply them effectively to solve interpersonal conflicts.

Materials: Problem Solving Steps worksheet for each student. Easel or white/blackboard and markers/chalk for brainstorming activity.

Procedure: Explain to students that sometimes, even with good friends, we can encounter conflicts

with our friends that might be difficult to solve. Pass out Problem Solving Steps worksheet and explain that there are specific steps that

people can take to solve a problem with friends. Using these problems can help to alleviate stress and avoid more difficult situations with friends in the future.

Ask students to volunteer a situation (real or imaginary) that demonstrates a problem that friends can experience.

After a situation has been established, work with students to help them see how they can use the problem solving steps to solve problems with their friends. To help with choosing the best solution, have students discuss them and role play some possible solutions. After role plays, have the participants and group members discuss if the scenario worked, or how a better solution can be reached.

Termination: Use the “go around” method to have each participant talk about what they feel that they

are best taking away from the group. Have they made progress with making and keeping friendships? What has been useful to them? How confident are they feeling about being able to use the skills in the group to help improve their friendships in the future?

Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their ability to apply problem solving techniques to role play exercises.

Adapted from: Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor



Problem Solving Steps

1: Identify the problem.

2: Think of ALL possible solutions. Write them down if you can, or talk them out with someone.

3: Think about the consequences of each possible solution. Ask yourself “What could happen if I did this?” Think about how each solution impacts you and others.

4: Choose the best solution.

5: Put the solution into action! If appropriate, practice the solution with someone else before hand.

Adapted from: Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor



References

Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group

Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland, ME: J.

Weston Walch.

Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor

association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp.

73-75). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.

Hulse, C. M. (2004). Lesson 38: The spider web. New York State school counselor

association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp.

88-89). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.

Lefrancois, G. R. (1999). The Lifespan (6th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing

Company.

Richardson, R. C. & Evans, E. T. (1996). Rules for listening. Connecting with others:

Lessons for teaching social and emotional competence, grades 6-8 (p. 82). Champaign,

IL: Research Press, p. 82.

Sunwolf & Leets, L. (2004). Being left out: Rejecting outsiders and communicating group

boundaries in childhood and adolescent peer groups. Journal of Applied Communication

Research, 32(3), 195-223.

Waksman, S. & Waskman, D. D. (1998). Conversation Skills. The waksman social skills

curriculum for adolescents: An assertiveness behavior program (4th ed.) (pp. 31-35).

Austin, TX:Pro-Ed.

Wentzel, K. R. & Caldwell, K. (1997). Friendships, peer acceptance, and group membership:

Relations to academic achievement in middle school. Child Development, 68(6), 1198-

1209.

Documents

Group Counseling handout