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guidebookguidebookAN ALL-INCLUSIVE RESOURCE FOR STARTING
A WOMENrsquoS MENTORING GROUP
2
Table of Contents3 Introduction4 EMBRACE 5 Titus2 Mandate6 Mentoring Defined7 Why Mentor8 Who Needs Mentoring9 The Legacy10 The Titus2 Program13 The Titus2 Commitment14 Goals for Titus2 Graduates15 Suggested Timeline16 EQUIP 17 Mentor Preparation18 Mentor Preparation Handbook28 Recap of How to be a Titus2 Mentor32 CONNECT 33 Whatrsquos Next40 Titus2 Kickoff Celebration41 Planning for First Meeting42 The Legacy Continued
3
IntroductionIn this guidebook yoursquoll find step-by-step instructions on beginning a womenrsquos small group mentoring program - including examples sample documents and handouts Our goal is to equip you with everything you need The website containing all handouts and resources will lead you from that point forward
There are three critical steps to getting mentoring off the ground bull Embrace Becoming familiar with mentoring and the Titus2 program
bull Equip Training mentors
bull Connect Recruiting mentees connecting mentees with mentors mentor meetups
Our resources are provided with the purpose to equip encourage and empower you - donrsquotlet them overwhelm you Prayerfully take one step at a time and watch God unfold the pathin front of you sustaining you along the way The need for mentoring is great so letrsquos be bold together and step into intentional relationships with the purpose of creating passionate women for Christ
For His Glory and the next generation
Titus2 Mentoring Women
EmbraceEmbrace
5
The Titus2 MandateOur culture is separating generations more than ever before We are intimidated of each other We donrsquot know how to relate We are scared to step out to reach out a hand to allow someone else to really know us
Yet therersquos never been a time that women need each other more Women of different ages cultures races backgrounds
To cheer each other on To build each other up To grow and stretch each other
It takes effort Intention Time
It is a call God places on our lives - to grab each othersrsquo hands across generations and pull each other up Gently nudging each other closer to Christ on this journey called life
Mentoring bridges the gap between generations Draws us into relationship with one another Connects our lives and intertwines our stories
The Lord tells us that mature women are called to mentor younger women His Word stateswomen are to be ldquoreverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine teaching what is right and good so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children to be sensible pure makers of a home [where God is honored] goodnatured being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonoredrdquoTitus 23-5 AMP
ldquothat they mayrdquo
As disciples of Jesus we have received the highest gift by our Savior Lord Jesus Christ Having freely received we are called to freely give - not out of obligation or duty but because we can (Matthew 108) That we may reach the next generation impacting lives and creating disciplemakers passionate about God and life all for His glory
ldquoTheyrdquo is you It is all of us
Single married career women homemakers students
It is a 30 year old mentoring a 21 year oldIt is a 45 year old mentoring a 32 year oldIt is a 65 year old mentoring a 40 year old
Wherever you are in life there is always someone a few steps behind you So letrsquos unite Focusing on how similar we really are instead of allowing our differences to separate us Letrsquos walk this road together That we may
6
Mentoring DefinedWhat exactly is mentoring
Mentoring is not counseling It is not leading a Bible Study It is not being someonersquos mother
Mentoring is an intentional relationship between an older person and a younger person It is walking through life together for a season sharing wisdom life experiences and growing in your relationship with Christ Being a mentor is not about what you know but about listening well opening up your life to someone and pointing their eyes always to Christ And by doing so it has the power to transform lives
Mentoring has been going on since Jesus walked on the earth it just wasnrsquot called that It is asimple modern-day way of doing what Jesus did ndash making disciples
Discipleship through intentional relationship Mentoring defined
7
Why Mentor1 Your life can make a differenceYou have a wealth of experiences and wisdom that could be a life-changing to someone a little behind you in life
2 The need is greatCountless women today long to be nurtured There is a greater need than ever before - Family is divided by distance - Oftentimes the family unity has disintegrated - Women may not have good role models in their own mothers - Fast pace of society keeps women from developing relationships - Life is so complicated now so many more choices today than ever before
They donrsquot need more information but wisdom from someone who has already traveled their stage of life
3 Itrsquos scripturalTitus 23-5 ndash ldquoOlder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoredrdquoGod has issued a clear call to older women to take what wersquove learned over the years to encourage younger women
4 Mentoring keeps you learning growing and engaged in Godrsquos KingdomMentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using your expe-riences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
5 You help equip the mentees as disciples to become disciple makers
- Stronger relationship with God - Equipping for life roles - Strengthened marriage - New wisdom and insights from mentor - Accountability for spiritual disciplines - Greater joy and fulfillment - New relationships with a caring community
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
2
Table of Contents3 Introduction4 EMBRACE 5 Titus2 Mandate6 Mentoring Defined7 Why Mentor8 Who Needs Mentoring9 The Legacy10 The Titus2 Program13 The Titus2 Commitment14 Goals for Titus2 Graduates15 Suggested Timeline16 EQUIP 17 Mentor Preparation18 Mentor Preparation Handbook28 Recap of How to be a Titus2 Mentor32 CONNECT 33 Whatrsquos Next40 Titus2 Kickoff Celebration41 Planning for First Meeting42 The Legacy Continued
3
IntroductionIn this guidebook yoursquoll find step-by-step instructions on beginning a womenrsquos small group mentoring program - including examples sample documents and handouts Our goal is to equip you with everything you need The website containing all handouts and resources will lead you from that point forward
There are three critical steps to getting mentoring off the ground bull Embrace Becoming familiar with mentoring and the Titus2 program
bull Equip Training mentors
bull Connect Recruiting mentees connecting mentees with mentors mentor meetups
Our resources are provided with the purpose to equip encourage and empower you - donrsquotlet them overwhelm you Prayerfully take one step at a time and watch God unfold the pathin front of you sustaining you along the way The need for mentoring is great so letrsquos be bold together and step into intentional relationships with the purpose of creating passionate women for Christ
For His Glory and the next generation
Titus2 Mentoring Women
EmbraceEmbrace
5
The Titus2 MandateOur culture is separating generations more than ever before We are intimidated of each other We donrsquot know how to relate We are scared to step out to reach out a hand to allow someone else to really know us
Yet therersquos never been a time that women need each other more Women of different ages cultures races backgrounds
To cheer each other on To build each other up To grow and stretch each other
It takes effort Intention Time
It is a call God places on our lives - to grab each othersrsquo hands across generations and pull each other up Gently nudging each other closer to Christ on this journey called life
Mentoring bridges the gap between generations Draws us into relationship with one another Connects our lives and intertwines our stories
The Lord tells us that mature women are called to mentor younger women His Word stateswomen are to be ldquoreverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine teaching what is right and good so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children to be sensible pure makers of a home [where God is honored] goodnatured being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonoredrdquoTitus 23-5 AMP
ldquothat they mayrdquo
As disciples of Jesus we have received the highest gift by our Savior Lord Jesus Christ Having freely received we are called to freely give - not out of obligation or duty but because we can (Matthew 108) That we may reach the next generation impacting lives and creating disciplemakers passionate about God and life all for His glory
ldquoTheyrdquo is you It is all of us
Single married career women homemakers students
It is a 30 year old mentoring a 21 year oldIt is a 45 year old mentoring a 32 year oldIt is a 65 year old mentoring a 40 year old
Wherever you are in life there is always someone a few steps behind you So letrsquos unite Focusing on how similar we really are instead of allowing our differences to separate us Letrsquos walk this road together That we may
6
Mentoring DefinedWhat exactly is mentoring
Mentoring is not counseling It is not leading a Bible Study It is not being someonersquos mother
Mentoring is an intentional relationship between an older person and a younger person It is walking through life together for a season sharing wisdom life experiences and growing in your relationship with Christ Being a mentor is not about what you know but about listening well opening up your life to someone and pointing their eyes always to Christ And by doing so it has the power to transform lives
Mentoring has been going on since Jesus walked on the earth it just wasnrsquot called that It is asimple modern-day way of doing what Jesus did ndash making disciples
Discipleship through intentional relationship Mentoring defined
7
Why Mentor1 Your life can make a differenceYou have a wealth of experiences and wisdom that could be a life-changing to someone a little behind you in life
2 The need is greatCountless women today long to be nurtured There is a greater need than ever before - Family is divided by distance - Oftentimes the family unity has disintegrated - Women may not have good role models in their own mothers - Fast pace of society keeps women from developing relationships - Life is so complicated now so many more choices today than ever before
They donrsquot need more information but wisdom from someone who has already traveled their stage of life
3 Itrsquos scripturalTitus 23-5 ndash ldquoOlder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoredrdquoGod has issued a clear call to older women to take what wersquove learned over the years to encourage younger women
4 Mentoring keeps you learning growing and engaged in Godrsquos KingdomMentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using your expe-riences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
5 You help equip the mentees as disciples to become disciple makers
- Stronger relationship with God - Equipping for life roles - Strengthened marriage - New wisdom and insights from mentor - Accountability for spiritual disciplines - Greater joy and fulfillment - New relationships with a caring community
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
3
IntroductionIn this guidebook yoursquoll find step-by-step instructions on beginning a womenrsquos small group mentoring program - including examples sample documents and handouts Our goal is to equip you with everything you need The website containing all handouts and resources will lead you from that point forward
There are three critical steps to getting mentoring off the ground bull Embrace Becoming familiar with mentoring and the Titus2 program
bull Equip Training mentors
bull Connect Recruiting mentees connecting mentees with mentors mentor meetups
Our resources are provided with the purpose to equip encourage and empower you - donrsquotlet them overwhelm you Prayerfully take one step at a time and watch God unfold the pathin front of you sustaining you along the way The need for mentoring is great so letrsquos be bold together and step into intentional relationships with the purpose of creating passionate women for Christ
For His Glory and the next generation
Titus2 Mentoring Women
EmbraceEmbrace
5
The Titus2 MandateOur culture is separating generations more than ever before We are intimidated of each other We donrsquot know how to relate We are scared to step out to reach out a hand to allow someone else to really know us
Yet therersquos never been a time that women need each other more Women of different ages cultures races backgrounds
To cheer each other on To build each other up To grow and stretch each other
It takes effort Intention Time
It is a call God places on our lives - to grab each othersrsquo hands across generations and pull each other up Gently nudging each other closer to Christ on this journey called life
Mentoring bridges the gap between generations Draws us into relationship with one another Connects our lives and intertwines our stories
The Lord tells us that mature women are called to mentor younger women His Word stateswomen are to be ldquoreverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine teaching what is right and good so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children to be sensible pure makers of a home [where God is honored] goodnatured being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonoredrdquoTitus 23-5 AMP
ldquothat they mayrdquo
As disciples of Jesus we have received the highest gift by our Savior Lord Jesus Christ Having freely received we are called to freely give - not out of obligation or duty but because we can (Matthew 108) That we may reach the next generation impacting lives and creating disciplemakers passionate about God and life all for His glory
ldquoTheyrdquo is you It is all of us
Single married career women homemakers students
It is a 30 year old mentoring a 21 year oldIt is a 45 year old mentoring a 32 year oldIt is a 65 year old mentoring a 40 year old
Wherever you are in life there is always someone a few steps behind you So letrsquos unite Focusing on how similar we really are instead of allowing our differences to separate us Letrsquos walk this road together That we may
6
Mentoring DefinedWhat exactly is mentoring
Mentoring is not counseling It is not leading a Bible Study It is not being someonersquos mother
Mentoring is an intentional relationship between an older person and a younger person It is walking through life together for a season sharing wisdom life experiences and growing in your relationship with Christ Being a mentor is not about what you know but about listening well opening up your life to someone and pointing their eyes always to Christ And by doing so it has the power to transform lives
Mentoring has been going on since Jesus walked on the earth it just wasnrsquot called that It is asimple modern-day way of doing what Jesus did ndash making disciples
Discipleship through intentional relationship Mentoring defined
7
Why Mentor1 Your life can make a differenceYou have a wealth of experiences and wisdom that could be a life-changing to someone a little behind you in life
2 The need is greatCountless women today long to be nurtured There is a greater need than ever before - Family is divided by distance - Oftentimes the family unity has disintegrated - Women may not have good role models in their own mothers - Fast pace of society keeps women from developing relationships - Life is so complicated now so many more choices today than ever before
They donrsquot need more information but wisdom from someone who has already traveled their stage of life
3 Itrsquos scripturalTitus 23-5 ndash ldquoOlder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoredrdquoGod has issued a clear call to older women to take what wersquove learned over the years to encourage younger women
4 Mentoring keeps you learning growing and engaged in Godrsquos KingdomMentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using your expe-riences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
5 You help equip the mentees as disciples to become disciple makers
- Stronger relationship with God - Equipping for life roles - Strengthened marriage - New wisdom and insights from mentor - Accountability for spiritual disciplines - Greater joy and fulfillment - New relationships with a caring community
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
EmbraceEmbrace
5
The Titus2 MandateOur culture is separating generations more than ever before We are intimidated of each other We donrsquot know how to relate We are scared to step out to reach out a hand to allow someone else to really know us
Yet therersquos never been a time that women need each other more Women of different ages cultures races backgrounds
To cheer each other on To build each other up To grow and stretch each other
It takes effort Intention Time
It is a call God places on our lives - to grab each othersrsquo hands across generations and pull each other up Gently nudging each other closer to Christ on this journey called life
Mentoring bridges the gap between generations Draws us into relationship with one another Connects our lives and intertwines our stories
The Lord tells us that mature women are called to mentor younger women His Word stateswomen are to be ldquoreverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine teaching what is right and good so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children to be sensible pure makers of a home [where God is honored] goodnatured being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonoredrdquoTitus 23-5 AMP
ldquothat they mayrdquo
As disciples of Jesus we have received the highest gift by our Savior Lord Jesus Christ Having freely received we are called to freely give - not out of obligation or duty but because we can (Matthew 108) That we may reach the next generation impacting lives and creating disciplemakers passionate about God and life all for His glory
ldquoTheyrdquo is you It is all of us
Single married career women homemakers students
It is a 30 year old mentoring a 21 year oldIt is a 45 year old mentoring a 32 year oldIt is a 65 year old mentoring a 40 year old
Wherever you are in life there is always someone a few steps behind you So letrsquos unite Focusing on how similar we really are instead of allowing our differences to separate us Letrsquos walk this road together That we may
6
Mentoring DefinedWhat exactly is mentoring
Mentoring is not counseling It is not leading a Bible Study It is not being someonersquos mother
Mentoring is an intentional relationship between an older person and a younger person It is walking through life together for a season sharing wisdom life experiences and growing in your relationship with Christ Being a mentor is not about what you know but about listening well opening up your life to someone and pointing their eyes always to Christ And by doing so it has the power to transform lives
Mentoring has been going on since Jesus walked on the earth it just wasnrsquot called that It is asimple modern-day way of doing what Jesus did ndash making disciples
Discipleship through intentional relationship Mentoring defined
7
Why Mentor1 Your life can make a differenceYou have a wealth of experiences and wisdom that could be a life-changing to someone a little behind you in life
2 The need is greatCountless women today long to be nurtured There is a greater need than ever before - Family is divided by distance - Oftentimes the family unity has disintegrated - Women may not have good role models in their own mothers - Fast pace of society keeps women from developing relationships - Life is so complicated now so many more choices today than ever before
They donrsquot need more information but wisdom from someone who has already traveled their stage of life
3 Itrsquos scripturalTitus 23-5 ndash ldquoOlder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoredrdquoGod has issued a clear call to older women to take what wersquove learned over the years to encourage younger women
4 Mentoring keeps you learning growing and engaged in Godrsquos KingdomMentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using your expe-riences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
5 You help equip the mentees as disciples to become disciple makers
- Stronger relationship with God - Equipping for life roles - Strengthened marriage - New wisdom and insights from mentor - Accountability for spiritual disciplines - Greater joy and fulfillment - New relationships with a caring community
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
5
The Titus2 MandateOur culture is separating generations more than ever before We are intimidated of each other We donrsquot know how to relate We are scared to step out to reach out a hand to allow someone else to really know us
Yet therersquos never been a time that women need each other more Women of different ages cultures races backgrounds
To cheer each other on To build each other up To grow and stretch each other
It takes effort Intention Time
It is a call God places on our lives - to grab each othersrsquo hands across generations and pull each other up Gently nudging each other closer to Christ on this journey called life
Mentoring bridges the gap between generations Draws us into relationship with one another Connects our lives and intertwines our stories
The Lord tells us that mature women are called to mentor younger women His Word stateswomen are to be ldquoreverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine teaching what is right and good so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children to be sensible pure makers of a home [where God is honored] goodnatured being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonoredrdquoTitus 23-5 AMP
ldquothat they mayrdquo
As disciples of Jesus we have received the highest gift by our Savior Lord Jesus Christ Having freely received we are called to freely give - not out of obligation or duty but because we can (Matthew 108) That we may reach the next generation impacting lives and creating disciplemakers passionate about God and life all for His glory
ldquoTheyrdquo is you It is all of us
Single married career women homemakers students
It is a 30 year old mentoring a 21 year oldIt is a 45 year old mentoring a 32 year oldIt is a 65 year old mentoring a 40 year old
Wherever you are in life there is always someone a few steps behind you So letrsquos unite Focusing on how similar we really are instead of allowing our differences to separate us Letrsquos walk this road together That we may
6
Mentoring DefinedWhat exactly is mentoring
Mentoring is not counseling It is not leading a Bible Study It is not being someonersquos mother
Mentoring is an intentional relationship between an older person and a younger person It is walking through life together for a season sharing wisdom life experiences and growing in your relationship with Christ Being a mentor is not about what you know but about listening well opening up your life to someone and pointing their eyes always to Christ And by doing so it has the power to transform lives
Mentoring has been going on since Jesus walked on the earth it just wasnrsquot called that It is asimple modern-day way of doing what Jesus did ndash making disciples
Discipleship through intentional relationship Mentoring defined
7
Why Mentor1 Your life can make a differenceYou have a wealth of experiences and wisdom that could be a life-changing to someone a little behind you in life
2 The need is greatCountless women today long to be nurtured There is a greater need than ever before - Family is divided by distance - Oftentimes the family unity has disintegrated - Women may not have good role models in their own mothers - Fast pace of society keeps women from developing relationships - Life is so complicated now so many more choices today than ever before
They donrsquot need more information but wisdom from someone who has already traveled their stage of life
3 Itrsquos scripturalTitus 23-5 ndash ldquoOlder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoredrdquoGod has issued a clear call to older women to take what wersquove learned over the years to encourage younger women
4 Mentoring keeps you learning growing and engaged in Godrsquos KingdomMentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using your expe-riences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
5 You help equip the mentees as disciples to become disciple makers
- Stronger relationship with God - Equipping for life roles - Strengthened marriage - New wisdom and insights from mentor - Accountability for spiritual disciplines - Greater joy and fulfillment - New relationships with a caring community
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
6
Mentoring DefinedWhat exactly is mentoring
Mentoring is not counseling It is not leading a Bible Study It is not being someonersquos mother
Mentoring is an intentional relationship between an older person and a younger person It is walking through life together for a season sharing wisdom life experiences and growing in your relationship with Christ Being a mentor is not about what you know but about listening well opening up your life to someone and pointing their eyes always to Christ And by doing so it has the power to transform lives
Mentoring has been going on since Jesus walked on the earth it just wasnrsquot called that It is asimple modern-day way of doing what Jesus did ndash making disciples
Discipleship through intentional relationship Mentoring defined
7
Why Mentor1 Your life can make a differenceYou have a wealth of experiences and wisdom that could be a life-changing to someone a little behind you in life
2 The need is greatCountless women today long to be nurtured There is a greater need than ever before - Family is divided by distance - Oftentimes the family unity has disintegrated - Women may not have good role models in their own mothers - Fast pace of society keeps women from developing relationships - Life is so complicated now so many more choices today than ever before
They donrsquot need more information but wisdom from someone who has already traveled their stage of life
3 Itrsquos scripturalTitus 23-5 ndash ldquoOlder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoredrdquoGod has issued a clear call to older women to take what wersquove learned over the years to encourage younger women
4 Mentoring keeps you learning growing and engaged in Godrsquos KingdomMentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using your expe-riences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
5 You help equip the mentees as disciples to become disciple makers
- Stronger relationship with God - Equipping for life roles - Strengthened marriage - New wisdom and insights from mentor - Accountability for spiritual disciplines - Greater joy and fulfillment - New relationships with a caring community
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
7
Why Mentor1 Your life can make a differenceYou have a wealth of experiences and wisdom that could be a life-changing to someone a little behind you in life
2 The need is greatCountless women today long to be nurtured There is a greater need than ever before - Family is divided by distance - Oftentimes the family unity has disintegrated - Women may not have good role models in their own mothers - Fast pace of society keeps women from developing relationships - Life is so complicated now so many more choices today than ever before
They donrsquot need more information but wisdom from someone who has already traveled their stage of life
3 Itrsquos scripturalTitus 23-5 ndash ldquoOlder women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoredrdquoGod has issued a clear call to older women to take what wersquove learned over the years to encourage younger women
4 Mentoring keeps you learning growing and engaged in Godrsquos KingdomMentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using your expe-riences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
5 You help equip the mentees as disciples to become disciple makers
- Stronger relationship with God - Equipping for life roles - Strengthened marriage - New wisdom and insights from mentor - Accountability for spiritual disciplines - Greater joy and fulfillment - New relationships with a caring community
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
8
Who Needs MentoringHow does can we bridge the gap between generations What opportunities are there foryounger women to build community with older women
How are you reaching connecting and growing Millennials
Are there opportunities that value the contribution and wisdom of their older members
Mentoring is the answer to all these questions It connects generations and builds relationships that might not happen otherwise - growing women closer to Christ and helping them feel more connected within the body of Christ
So who needs mentoring
You do Young women do Mature women do
Young women desire to learn from and have relationship with women further along in the journey of life
Mature women are honored when asked to share their wisdom and knowledge by those youngerthan them
The impact mentoring has on the body of Christ and community is limitless
The bottom line - mentoring is a win-win
Even so most wonrsquot initiate a mentoring relationship on their own Yet you will find that themajority of people respond favorably when the opportunity is placed before them
Spiritual growth doesnrsquot happen accidentally And rarely do relationships develop effortlessly Intentionality and consistency together bring about transformation Titus2 will help you be intentional consistent and productive
So nowrsquos the time - go be the catalytic leader God uses to make mentoring happen Be the spark to start the fire and the energy to get it going We here at Titus2 believe in you
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
9
The Legacy Titus2 Mentoring Women was birthed out of a passion Regina Williams had for investing in the lives of younger women When Regina was in her 20rsquos an older woman Carol St Clair chose to invest in her life modeling what a woman walking with God looks like Because she did not grow up in a Christian home the time spent with Carol changed the direction of her life Carol spent time with Regina studying Godrsquos Word answering her questions about marriage and parenting and demonstrating how to invest in the lives of other women It had such a life changing impact that Regina felt Godrsquos calling to give to other women what had been given to her
After mentoring younger women individually for over 20 years Regina discovered her time with younger women led to more transformation if she challenged the women to study scripture and read a book on specific topics Then God led her towards mentoring within the context of a group God confirmed this direction when Regina was approached and asked if she would consider mentoring a group of women at her church In 2006 she developed materials and led seven women who committed to a year of intentional mentoring using books written by Christian authors on topics the women wanted growth and godly wisdom on
Regina found that mentoring a group of women multiplied her time and had a greater impact with younger women Because the women met with a group of peers they not only learned from her but from each other as they shared their experiences and what God was teaching them Along the way Regina came to see that the success of Titus2 Mentoring Women was derived from the fact that she was simply doing what Jesus did
bull He mentored in a small group context bull He invested in them for a defined period of time bull He served them and modeled selflessness bull He made and received a mutual commitment from His disciples bull He expected multiplication not addition and a commitment to pay it forward bull He taught them within the context of life along the way bull He modeled a God-centric life allowing them to see how He applied His faith in every aspect of life bull He lived taught and interpreted Scripture throughout their time together
To this day God is still transforming lives through the model Regina founded Although she didnrsquot feel capable of the call God assigned to her she was obedient and through her faithfulness and her humble spirit always growing through the process she was a catalyst in the lives of so many younger women
We believe that God can and will use you in the same capacity if not greater if you are willing to step in and join Godrsquos work Will you join Him Your legacy is calling
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
10
The Titus2 ProgramTitus2 is designed to make it simple for women to invest in the lives of other women through a mentoring relationship
Titus2 Mentoring Women - Called to More
Our goal is to call every woman young and old to more We exist to help generations journey together through intentional relationships focused on Him calling women to a higher vision a more abundant life and a deeper relationship with Christ
Titus2 Core Elements
Connecting bull With your Heavenly Father as you pursue a relationship with Him bull With your mentor as she intentionally invests in you bull With fellow mentees through monthly group meetings and peer challenges
Memorizing Scripture bull Hiding the Word of God away in your heart through scripture memorization and meditation
Reading a Book bull Reading a book specifically chosen on a relevant topic and write a one page summary of your takeaways
Focusing on Marriage (for married groups) bull A marriage exercise designed to deepen your marriage and help you focus on your marriage throughout the month bull A date night focused on intentional conversation with your husband
Program Format
Group bull Titus2 groups are designed as a small group mentoring model - 1 mentor to 6 mentees
Meetings bull Groups meet once a month in the mentorrsquos home for approximately 3 hours bull One-on-one meetings with the mentor are encouraged throughout the year
Commitment bull The program lasts 12 months or 9 months (covering school year calendar) one topic a month
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
11
Retreat bull Weekend retreat in the 2nd or 3rd month to share faith stories and help build relationships between the mentor and mentees
Graduation bull Graduation dinner in the mentorrsquos home with mentor mentees and spouses (if applicable) to celebrate the year together
Optional suggestions bull Mid-year group dinner with spouses (for married groups) bull Mentor (and husband if applicable) have dinner in the home of mentees
Topics amp Schedule
Titus2 has a suggested 12-month track or a 9-month track following the school year calendar and breaking for summer
There are 17 topics to choose from and information on how to plan and carry out a retreat at the beginning of the year and a graduation at the end of the year Each topic has resources to assist the mentor with preparation content for each session suggested book titles and homework for your mentees Some topics are specific for married women some for single women but most topics work for both married and single women The topics available for you to choose from are
1 Intimacy with God 2 Prayer 3 Identity in Christ 4 Influence 5 Emotions and Godly Character 6 Following Jesus 7 Gratitude Peace and Contenment 8 Growing Through Difficulties 9 Intimacy in Marriage (if applicable) 10 Marriage (if applicable) 11 Parenting (if applicable) 12 Personality 13 Relationships and Sexual Purity (if applicable) 14 Significance and Security 15 Singleness 16 Stewardship Money and Time 17 Thought Life
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
12
Mentors are provided with
bull Timeline to plan and start a Titus2 Mentoring group
bull Training material for mentors
bull Templates to email prospective mentees
bull Applications for mentors and mentees
bull Mentor and mentee covenants
bull Monthly mentee homework assignment sheets mentor preparation guides and meeting guides for each group session
bull Suggested books with options to choose from for each topic
A sample of the Titus2 monthly curriculum can be found in the back of this guidebook
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
13
The Titus2 CommitmentItrsquos important that we take a moment to share the heartbeat behind Titus2 We receive manyquestions regarding why the Titus2 content is so rigorous The answer is pretty simple -
Because God multiplies what we give Him
Therefore the more time effort and sacrifice we are willing to put into our relationship with Him the more kingdom impact and greater transformation in our lives
ldquoRemember this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly and whoever sows generously will also reap generouslyrdquo 2 Corinthians 96
Yes Titus2 is a big commitment It is designed to be a year of intentional living A year walkingthrough carefully selected topics relevant to life and our walk with God A year of sowinggenerously Itrsquos a commitment not everyone can make But those who make the sacrifice will reap generously Wersquove seen this principle work out for itself - God shows up big and lives are transformed through Titus2 proving it successful effective and transformational And thatrsquos what the program was created to do
While designed very intentionally we realize there are certain situations where the Titus2 program doesnrsquot fit perfectly Whatever the reason may be we want Titus2 to fit your church culture or the needs of your specific group and believe there are ways to make that happenWhile we donrsquot suggest diluting the content or cutting out any of the core elements you have the freedom to adapt the program to best fit your grouprsquos needs
Thought and prayer was put into every aspect of Titus2 and then it wasput into practice tweaking and adapting the materials as the years progressed No doubt thestandards are set high the expectations made clear and the sacrifice is great But God has drawn near time and time again Hersquos answered prayers Hersquos opened eyes and softened hearts Restored relationships And lit hearts on fire for Him and Him alone Itrsquos happened in countless lives already And can happen in the lives of your women as well
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
14
Goals for Titus2 Graduates bull To have a strong relationship with Christ as a result of having knowledge of Godrsquos Word and of having a consistent prayer life bull To embrace scripture as a foundational truth for all of life To continually commit specific verses to memory and apply them to real life situations
bull To understand who she is in Christ and to walk in the freedom and confidence of a redeemed child of God
bull To serve and lead in her church and community based on her Personal Ministry Plan
bull To experience contentment that comes from trusting God
bull To have an eternal perspective that results in being a wise steward of what God has entrusted to her
bull If married to have a closer relationship with God and her husband through understanding Godrsquos purpose for marriage
bull If married to be encouraged and better equipped as a mom as a result of understanding her role in the parenting journey
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
15
Suggested TimelineSix months outPray and ask the Lord to guide you as a mentors bull Confirm your commitment to the year ahead and sign the mentor covenant
Four months out
Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to the women who would benefit from participating bull Send out an email or letter to potential mentees inviting them to apply bull Receive and read through applications
Two months outPray and ask the Lord to direct the group formation process
bull Go through the Mentor Training Handbook bull Contact mentees and set up one-on-one meetings before first meeting
One month outPray and ask the Lord to do incredible things in the lives of all the women
bull Selects the first meeting night and retreat dates making sure all participants can attend both bull Send out first meeting assignments and covenant to mentees bull Prepare for the Kickoff Celebration
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
EquipEquip
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
17
Mentor PreparationYour goal is to discover Godrsquos unconditional love for you and the value of living a life lsquoall inrsquo for Him You canrsquot export what you donrsquot have so a big part of mentor preparation is getting clarity about your faith your faith story and your lsquocallingrsquo to invest in others
Eliminate fear about leading a mentoring group bull Fear that Irsquoll mess it up
bull Fear that Irsquoll look foolish
bull Fear that I wonrsquot know what to say or do
bull Fear that Irsquom getting into something I canrsquot get out of
bull Fear that I wonrsquot do this well
Things you need to hear
bull You CANrsquoT mess it up Just be there and be yourself
bull Wersquoll show you how to navigate each session
bull Your calling is to simply love these women and make yourself available to them
bull Your value is your experience - no one can take that away from you
bull Your foundation - your answers are simply what God says through Scripture and what Hersquos shown you through your life experiences
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
18
Mentor Preparation HandbookEffectively mentoring younger women will likely be one of the most rewarding ministries of your life For the most part your training to be a mentor essentially comes from your own life experiences - both your successes and your failures
Our desire is that this training material helps you have an incredible mentoring experience These guidelines have been developed based upon experiences of women who have successfully mentored others
Wersquoll discuss your role some dorsquos and donrsquots important keys in building relationships keycomponents of the mentoring program and other important topics
I Your Walk
Walking with the LordYour own personal walk with the Lord will be reflected in all you do As you seek the Lord in your own life you will inspire young women to have this as a high priority in their own lives Time with the Father was a priority for Jesus no matter how busy He was Your own daily walk needs to be strong so you can point others to the Lord and not to yourself Your goal is to encourage your mentees to be followers of Christ not of you
Oswald Chambers said ldquoThe lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Christrdquo You can only influence others to spend time with the Lord as they see the result of doing that in your own life
Depending upon the LordRecognize that your ability to mentor is not based on your talents or your gifts but on the Lordrsquos life flowing through you He will equip you to do what Hersquos called you to do It is often in our weakness that Godrsquos greatest work is done Remember without Him we can do nothing ( John 155) but with Him we can do all things (Philippians 419)
II Your Role
Your role as a mentor is not about teaching or lecturing Younger women are looking for someone they can get to know and learn from Your greatest impact will be from your life experiences However there are some important dorsquos and donrsquots that are significant in fulfilling your role
Here are some important dorsquosYoursquore going to LISTEN The mentor who talks too much is not a great mentor The one who listens is During the monthly meetings set the stage that the discussion is going to be an interactive conversation led by you but including the entire group The longer your mentees talk the more yoursquoll learn about them And when you do speak theyrsquoll be more apt to listen to you if yoursquove listened to them first
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
19
Yoursquore going to FACILITATE Itrsquos crucial that you ask open-ended questions and encourage your mentees to share If ldquoAmyrdquo isnrsquot chiming in occasionally then ask ldquoAmy what do you thinkrdquo and draw her in Donrsquot hesitate to make a note when someone says something that gives you a little insight into them You might not remember it otherwise
Yoursquore going to ENCOURAGE As you get to know your mentees there will be areas you can help them with Itrsquos natural for you as an older sister in the Lord to want to help them Call upon your resourcesyour own experiences your bookshelf your network of contactswhatever God has given you and use them to provide encouragement and help
Yoursquore going to ADVISE As the year goes on even beyond the mentoring year your mentees will ask for your advice However be careful about dispensing advice Try to ask questions that will help them think through the issue and lead them to THEIR OWN decision Coach them on HOW to get to the answer rather than giving them the answer yourself Try to share from your experiences what yoursquove done or observed others do first hand or from Scripture Yoursquoll never go wrong if you stay with those two things No one can ever question your experiences and the wisdom yoursquove gained from them And yoursquoll never regret sharing Biblical truth with a mentee
Finally yoursquore going to be their LOVING FRIEND There is no way to overestimate the value of friendships As you invest in younger women letting them know that you love them demonstrating that yoursquore their friend by listening to them and by your willingness to invest time in themwill speak volumes
Now for some of the ldquodonrsquotsrdquo
Yoursquore NOT going to be their mom Yoursquoll find that few women have great moms and a lot of your mentees will not have moms they look up to as much as they look up to you You want to honor their moms not criticize them Remind your women that their moms did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time Our encouragement must be for them to love their moms forgive their moms and allow the Lord to fill in the gaps
Yoursquore NOT going to become their babysitter Be careful you donrsquot find yourself drawn too far into your menteersquos home or family Yoursquore there to help her become a committed follower of Jesus Christ and able to successfully live out Godrsquos call on her life
Yoursquore NOT going to be their professional counselor If the issues are deep and old and if itrsquos clear that the mentee needs help beyond your abilities help her connect with a counselor and hold her accountable for doing so
In summary your role is to ldquodo liferdquo with the young women for a season of time Be who you are share what you know let them see how you think act live pray and serve Donrsquot take too much responsibility for ldquochangingrdquo them Leave that to God
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
20
III Your Attributes
Attributes Needed to be an Effective Mentor
Godly Character - provides the platform and credibility to influence the lives of younger women bull Life is surrendered to God bull Desires to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit - love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control bull A person of integrity seeks to live a life above reproach
Mature Faith ndash it is life experiences not knowledge that will have the greatest impact on others bull Knows Godrsquos word and applies to her life bull Secure with who she is in Christ
Intimate Relationship with God ndash understands the importance of a growing relationship withChrist and seeks to put Him first
Reliable ndash committed to fulfill the responsibilities of a mentor
Servant Leader - primary motivation for mentoring is from a heart of gratitude to God bull Desires to share Godrsquos love with younger women so that they might experience the abundant life He has for them and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created bull Serves her family well bull Husband trusts her bull Guides and teaches her children with wisdom and in the fear of the Lord bull Good manager of her home
Available - Has a desire to honor God by making her life available to others in order to encourage and equip them to live for Godrsquos glory
Model ndash teaches and models what she teaches bull Is transparent and honest willing to share her successes and failures in order that others may benefit from the wisdom gained
Initiates Relationships bull Investing in the life of the mentee bull Taking responsibility for the health of the relationships with the mentee and the group as a whole bull Confronting and challenging when necessary
Continuous Learner bull Makes time to read and be challenged in her relationship with the Lord bull Teachable ndash open to learn from others does not consider herself as ldquohaving arrivedrdquo
Humble and Dependent on God bull Recognizes that this is Godrsquos ministry bull Recognizes that He will equip her in this ministry bull Perseveres in Godrsquos calling on her life
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
21
IV Proper Focus
Reliance on the Lord - Because women empathize so well itrsquos possible for mentors to fosterunhealthy reliance in which mentees look to them rather than to the Lord Lead them to rely on the Lord more than you
See the bigger picture - Because women enjoy the details of life they can easily miss the ldquobigpicturerdquo It is easy for women to enter a conversation and become so engrossed with the littledetails about their day their family their hassles that they lose sight of the main issue ndash why theyrsquove committed to the mentoring program in the first place So make sure you bring their focus into the ldquobigger picturerdquo of what God might be doing in their life and the lives of others around them
Build their unique story - Because women enjoy talking over issues they can overlook their vision for the future due to a tendency to hash out the past and present The focus can become merely on the struggles and mutual misery instead of looking ahead and making tomorrow better You want them to realize that God uses their past in order to build the unique ldquostoryrdquo of their life and that He will use whatever He has allowed in their lives for their growth and His glory
Keep it purpose driven - Because women relate through verbal conversation they may tend to turn the mentoring meeting into a ldquochatrdquo session that is not purpose driven Mentoring happens best on purpose not by accident
V Relational Considerations
TransparencyThe importance and value of the mentorrsquos transparency cannot be overemphasized The books that will be read are important and the Scriptures theyrsquoll memorize are critical But the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is a huge part of mentoring
Honest self-disclosure ldquoThis is what I didrdquo rdquothis is what I wish Irsquod donerdquo kind of conversation
The best mentors are women who have experienced Godrsquos grace in a personal and powerful way They can ldquoownrdquo their mistakes and share them openly because God has forgiven them and Hersquos walked with them through the consequences of those mistakes
This transparency works the same way on the good things yoursquove learned Sharing the thingsyoursquove ldquodone rightrdquo is absorbed much more fully when the mentor is humble and gives God the credit for leading and protecting her to avoid the errors she could have made
Developing relationshipsPurposefully invite the young women into your life Spend time with them
Sometimes mentoring relationships just happen and develop in a natural way others take timeand are more deliberate Some relationships will not grow to an intimate level and not all need to Jesus built relationships by accepting people where they were listening to them asking questions and participating in their lives
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
22
ConfidentialityMentoring relationships must honor the need for confidentiality Mentees need to be assured that what they share with the group will go no further than the group and what they share with just you will go no further than you This should be discussed in the very first meeting
AvailabilityThere will be several times during the year when yoursquoll want to initiate one-on-one meetingsIn addition let the mentees know yoursquore always available to them Encourage them to take theinitiative to contact you and set up a time to talk In mentoring itrsquos important to have a ldquoministry of availabilityrdquo
ModelingldquoDo as I say not as I dordquo is as unhealthy in mentoring as it is in parenting Mentors must showtheir trustworthiness demonstrate their love for God and actually pray when they say they will Letrsquos be like Paul who encouraged the Corinthian church to do as he did ldquoFollow my example as I follow the example of Christ I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings just as I passed them on to yourdquo (1 Corinthians 111-2)
Courage to confrontProverbs 121 says ldquoWhoever loves discipline loves knowledge but whoever hates correction isstupidrdquo
During the year yoursquoll get to know your mentees As you watch them interact with you and theother women yoursquore going to observe some things As you hear the stories of their interactions with their husbands children co-workers superiors parents neighbors friends and enemies yoursquoll gain some insights about them As a trusted mentor yoursquore in a unique position to share that knowledge with them in a constructive way Yoursquove been invited to speak into their lives You can help them see ldquoblind spotsrdquo theyrsquove never seen before traits and habits that can damage their marriages and limit their impact within their home behaviors that can damage their witness to people outside the faithpatterns and attitudes that will be imprinted on their children and be carried forward to their childrenrsquos children
However you have to muster the courage to confront appropriately and share your observationsHere are a few tips
Pray first Be as sure as you can that what yoursquove picked up on is accurate and that itrsquos significant enough to confront the mentee about
Find a time when you can get your mentee ldquoone-on-onerdquo either on a retreat at a one-on-one lunch or coffee or after a monthly session
Speak the truth in love Tell them what yoursquove observed why itrsquos important what you think would be a better way to respond and reassure them that ldquothey can do all things through Christ who strengthens themrdquo
Encourage them Remind them that because God loves us so much He will not leave us where we are but desires to grow and mature us so that wersquoll reflect Christ
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
23
VI Relational Pace
As you approach the mentoring year understand that things should happen at a natural paceGodrsquos pace He never gets in a hurry and neither should we
The first part of the year will be getting to know one another Yoursquoll tell your faith story at thefirst meeting and your level of transparency will set the tone They have to know itrsquos safe to betransparent and real and somebody has to go first That has to be you
At the beginning of the year LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN Build relationships with your mentees Ask questions Remember they wonrsquot ldquocare to knowrdquo until they ldquoknow you carerdquo
As the year moves on yoursquoll feel more comfortable answering their questions and giving themyour thoughts Always stay with what God has taught you through your experiences and with what yoursquove learned from Scripture Anytime you are sharing your opinion yoursquore on shaky ground
As you build the relationships yoursquoll be able to speak to issues with boldness
VII Meeting Standards
If there is one thing that makes mentoring effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of standards clear expectations that are set and enforced
AttendanceAt the first meeting yoursquoll set your grouprsquos calendar for the entire year Yoursquoll build your grouprsquos calendar around yours to begin with avoiding dates when yoursquore out of town busy or otherwise unavailable Yoursquoll set dates for the retreat and for the monthly meetings collaborating calendars until you get a date that works with everyone It is recommended that you allow around four weeks between meetings in order for the women to have the time needed to complete homework assignments Yoursquoll leave the first meeting with the calendar for the entire year confirmed
But what happens when things come up
The process to change a meeting date is really simple The person who has the conflict has to do all the legwork to arrange a new date First she must come to you and clear a new date on your calendar Next she must coordinate with all the other women If ANY ONE PERSON canrsquot change to the new date then the date has to remain as it was originally set and the woman with the problem has to deal with her problem Usually that means she has to pass up some opportunity or miss a meeting that she needed to be at
But what happens when she comes back and says ldquoHey I tried to change our meeting date but couldnrsquot So I need to ask you if itrsquos ok for me not to be thererdquo
Herersquos where you have to lead Everyone signed a covenant saying theyrsquod be at every meeting They have coordinated their calendars with each other and with you months in advance The covenant states that the mentee will attend every meeting unless deterred by ldquoserious illnessrdquo or ldquodivine providencerdquo If they choose to miss a meeting then forgive them love them and move on
But make them think about it Attendance matters Being at every session matters
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
24
TimelinessThis is the second area of standards that are part of successful mentoring The covenant sayseveryone will be on time for every meeting Our culture has become very forgiving of people being late Everyone ldquounderstandsrdquo there are travel delays meetings that run long and all that And as peers therersquos a lot of grace given on this one
However as a mentor your time is precious And when one person is 10 minutes late to a mentoring group that includes a mentor and 6 other women than 80 minutes have been wasted Thatrsquos almost an hour and a half of precious time
So how do you establish this standard
Itrsquos all done at the first meeting
If someone is late and invariably someone will be herersquos what you do At one minute before you are to start say ldquoOK itrsquos time to get startedrdquo That will communicate to the women who are on time that you noticed and that you appreciate it Then begin your agenda When the person who is late arrives just greet her but continue wherever you were in the agenda After the meeting is over yoursquoll want to speak with the woman who was late to say you missed her being there at the start then restate the importance of her being on time
Women will make it a high priority to be on time if yoursquoll set the standard in your first meeting And similarly donrsquot let up Make it a big deal to start each meeting on time
And oh if everyone is on time Do the same thingstart exactly on time And make the firstthing you say something like ldquoThank you for being on time Itrsquos very important that we respect everyonersquos time by being here on time Congratulations Keep it uprdquo Then begin the meeting In addition always make sure you end the meeting on time
HomeworkHomework is the third place where standards must be set Mentees need to know that when you assign them homework itrsquos to be done Homework usually involves four things 1) a book to read and an assignment with the book 2) Scriptures to memorize by topic 3) a marriage focus includ-ing a marriage exercise and date night (for married groups) and 4) a peer challenge Herersquos how you set and enforce standards on all four
The accountability for reading the book each month comes from the assignment related to the book Each mentee is expected to read the assigned book and write a one-page summary or answer questions detailing what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life This isnrsquot a book report and it certainly isnrsquot a critique of the book or the author Instead it should be the ldquotakeawaysrdquo that God impresses upon her In other words it should be the application of the book to her life
Each woman is required to bring a copy of her written one-page summary to give to the mentor at the meeting
The discussion of the book needs to be brief and concise It does NOT include judgment of the book or the author It should only include what she took away from the book and intends to apply to her life
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
25
Scripture memory accountability is a little less subtle The mentor will call on one of the women to quote the assigned Scripture Shersquoll do so conversationally but BY TOPIC because thatrsquos the way you want them to remember and apply Godrsquos Word Randomly calling on your women to quote the assigned Scriptures by topic including those from previous sessions is THE way to insure they memorize and stay fresh on the Scriptures No one wants to be embarrassed by not knowing the Scripture verses Itrsquos important they memorize the Scriptures including the reference the ldquobook chapter and verserdquo That way theyrsquore not ldquofree formingrdquo or paraphrasing it and they know where to go look for the surrounding verses to put the verse in context and understand it totally
As you move into the year a good way to have the women review is to put the different Scripture references in a small container and pass it around having each woman pick one or two Scriptures Then go around the group and have each woman quote the verse to each other At the end of the year the women will be able to recall all the verses they have memorized because theyrsquove reviewed them each month
You may feel a little like yoursquore flashing back to ldquoSunday schoolrdquo or ldquosword drillsrdquo but what yoursquore doing is purposely helping them ldquohide His word in their heartsrdquo Post-mentoring surveys show that Scripture memory and application is one of the most valuable parts of mentoring even several years later
The final homework pieces are the marriage focus and the peer challenge that yoursquoll assign each month Yoursquoll simply ask the women to share what theyrsquove learned from the assignments and go around the group to insure everyone shares and thus everyone is held accountable
In summary the value of the year will largely be determined by the investment each womanmakes in the program Therefore itrsquos extremely important for you to encourage and exhort the young women to follow through with their commitments
VIII Creating Environments
There are three environments that yoursquoll create for your mentoring group These include
Monthly sessions in the mentorrsquos homeYoursquoll want to pick a location in your home where the meetings will take place Some mentorschoose the dining room table others choose a living room area Itrsquos important even if itrsquosuncomfortable for you for them to see you clearly as the leader This is NOT a peer group Yoursquore NOT going to be called on to recite the memory verses (although we hope yoursquoll memorize them to grow in your own walk and to model behavior for your mentees) However assume leadership of the group positionally by where you sit
If you choose ldquoliving roomrdquo kind of spaces be sure the farthest seat is no more than twelve feet away from you You want people to be in ldquosocial spacerdquo If theyrsquore too far away theyrsquoll feel disconnected and it will be harder to create personal sharing and interaction ldquoUp close and personalrdquo as they say
On their first night in your home take a few minutes to familiarize everyone with your home Walk them around if married andor have a family at home let them meet your husband your kids and even your dog Show them where the bathrooms are located
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
26
Keep a low-key environment when it comes to refreshments Too many groups get focused on food at the expense of faith so tell your mentees ldquoshow up physically fed but spiritually hungryrdquo Donrsquot let food become a burden to you and donrsquot let it become a distraction to the group If you serve anything make it very simple That way you do not make this a burden on you each month and it models for the women simplicity in opening up your home to others Please do not get caught in the trap that you need to display a ldquoSouthern Livingrdquo home to them That will set them up to feel very inadequate and put undo pressure on them to perform when they host meetings in their own homes
Set the standard that cellphones are turned off when women walk in the door and itrsquos actuallybetter if they leave them in their cars Their spouses know where they are and can reach themif necessary This is three hours each month when therersquos to be purpose focus and engagementTherersquos no place for ldquothe outside worldrdquo in the session
And remember to start promptly and end promptly
If yoursquove got the energy feel free to say ldquoWhen our session is over tonight feel free to hang aroundrdquo but always honor their time by ending on time Most of the women will be getting up the next day to take care of their family or go to work so you need to be sensitive about this
Retreat environmentsYoursquoll be taking your young women away on a retreat so letrsquos talk about what those environments look like
Groups often have access to mountain lake or beach vacation homes at no cost It seems thatbetween the mentor and the mentees someone knows someone who has a place theyrsquore willing to make available to the group for free That way the only cost being shared by the group members is for food and fun stuff If this is not the case find a location that is affordable and not too far away thus making it possible for all to attend
An easy way to handle the meals is to assign each meal to one or two women depending on how many are in your group
One-on-onesA great way to start the year is to meet one-on-one with each mentee before your first meetingThis allows them to meet you and get to know each individual a little before the year begins Italso allows you to talk about the commitment theyrsquore making and to make sure they have enough margin in their lives to participate in the mentoring experience
Two other times during the year that are good for one-on-onersquos is around the 4th month and the 7th month Yoursquoll have your retreat during the 1st or 2nd month then possibly another at the end of the year
The one-on-one times provide the opportunity to ldquogive that challenge confront that issue raise that questionrdquo that has been on your mind but hasnrsquot been shared in the group setting It also gives the mentee an opportunity to discuss anything she might not feel comfortable sharing with the group Nowrsquos your timeherersquos your chance to ldquogo deeprdquo with your mentee
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
27
Itrsquos also a time to get some real-time feedback on how yoursquore doing as a mentor Ask your mentee to tell you how you could improve the group or your leadership of the group Yoursquore modeling a teachable spirit AND getting some useful knowledge yourself
IXMaterialsHerersquos what yoursquoll need and what to do with it 1 Books ndash Yoursquoll have a book for yourself and for each of your mentees This will be your reading assignment for the coming month 2 Mentor Preparation Guide - This is your step-by-step guide to preparing for each meeting It includes putting together the NEXT sessionrsquos homework handouts amp peer challenge meetings readying your gathering place and getting you comfortable with the meeting guide for THIS monthrsquos meeting
3 Meeting Guide ndash This is your ldquotrack to run onrdquo for your next session The 1st page ldquobullet pointrdquo summary is the overview of the ldquosectionsrdquo of your meeting and the times you want to be moving from one section of the meeting to the next Again this is a guideline Donrsquot let it rule you Be flexible but ensure you end the meeting as scheduled The 2nd page begins a detailed ldquodown to the minuterdquo agenda to guide you through your three-hour session At first itrsquos understandable for you to follow it pretty strictly you might be a little nervous and want to ldquodo it rightrdquo However abandon that thought quickly The way to ldquodo it rightrdquo is to be yourself Make the agenda your own Think of your session in ldquoSECTIONSrdquo and manage your time that way Donrsquot micromanage let it flow with in reason and flex as the Holy Spirit leads We suggest you carefully read the long timeline get very familiar with what you plan to do with your time together then put it away and manage your meeting from the summary timeline
4 Homework assignments amp handouts - Each month all the homework assignments will be summarized on a handout for each of your mentees Then yoursquoll need copies for each mentee of the Marriage Focus (if applicable) and Scripture Memory Cards as well as any other handouts you choose to provide that month
X ConclusionThough this training material is somewhat detailed by design keep the big picture in mind Yoursquore investing yourself in the next generation of women Your experiences have equipped you and God will be glorified through your mentoring
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
28
Recap of how to be a Titus2 Mentor1 The most important thing yoursquore going to do as you start to mentor is to LISTEN The mentor who is talking is not a great mentor
2 Yoursquore going to be your menteesrsquo LOVING FRIEND You invest in these younger women by loving them where they are showing them that yoursquore their friend and listening to them intently
3 If there is any one thing that makes a Titus2 mentor effective other than the fact that itrsquos the model Jesus used itrsquos the establishment and enforcement of STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS
4 One standard for success is that you set and manage EXPECTATIONS up-front regarding attendance timeliness and homework assignments
5 The document that everyone signs committing to the mentoring process is a COVENANT
6 A second standard for success is TRANSPARENCY on the part of the mentor The books are important and the scripture memory is critical but the impact of a mature woman sharing her life experiences both good and bad is invaluable
7 Great mentors must have the COURAGE to confront when she sees something in her mentee that needs attention
8 When it comes to managing your meeting the way to do it right is to be YOURSELFMake the agenda your own Think of your session in SECTIONS and manage your time that way Let it flow within reason and be flexible as the Holy Spirit leads
9 Remember you arenrsquot just about making disciples Yoursquore making DISCIPLE-MAKERS
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
29
Sharing Your Faith Story
ldquoBe Transparentrdquo We hear that tossed around a lot these days ndash but itrsquos true You have got to tell your faith story but not in the traditional ldquoSunday Schoolrdquo fashion
Tell your faith story in full disclosure mode Be transparent Women are hungry for another woman to be real with themto share failures as well as successes and to be open about your humanity And more than anything they need to hear how Jesus Christ has truly changed your life ndash how you interact with Him every day ndash how Hersquos changed you ndash and how you continue to grow (and struggle) even now
This is the most important piece of your first meeting you will set the tone and determine the level of transparency of your group by how you share your story We canrsquot stress that enough
It is critical that everyone in the group is there for your first meeting to hear it in its entirety How deep they go how open they are with you and each other will be determined in large part by how deep you go and how open you are
What follows here is taken from the handout yoursquoll print out and give to your mentees at your first meeting Wersquove provided it here in case you need the blueprint to get ready to give your faith story
God can work best when we bear our souls to one another sharing the good the bad and the ugly
Remember that whatrsquos said in the group stays in the group
Before Describe your life before Christ growing up failures doubts family issues relational issues None of us has it totally together so be transparent What did you struggle with
Need Describe what happened that led you to discover your need for God This can be anything from a dramatic ldquothen Godrdquo moment to a time when Godrsquos love overwhelmed you Donrsquot make your story anything other than what it is but donrsquot hold back Be real Be transparent Tell it all The other women will know yoursquore being authentic and will connect with you the more human you are
Encounter Describe the events surrounding your conversion What were the specific circumstances in the 24 hours surrounding your crossing the line of faith Be specific It builds credibility People want to hear REAL stories from real people Again your story is your story but donrsquot hold anything back
After Describe your life since What happened next How did you change How did God reveal Himself to you What has been your faith walk since Where is your husband in all this Your kids What do you struggle with now What is God doing in your life today
Now that yoursquove shared your life with the group open the floor for questions and encouragement
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
30
Titus2 Mentoring Women Group Covenant
We hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I desire to grow in my relationship with Christ in order to fulfill the purpose for which Godhas called me to Therefore I will be open to feedback from my mentor and will endeavorto receive it in love and learn from it I want to learn and grow to be more like Jesus Christin every aspect of my life
2 I understand that I am committing to attend every meeting and retreat being there ontime and completing all my assigned homework We will layout our schedule for the yearat our first meeting I will manage my other commitments around the dates that areselected for meetings and retreat I am committing to the entire season and will finish well
3 I affirm that my responsibilities and family commitments will allow me the time andenergy required to successfully complete this program
4 I know that my mentor pledges to give the same level of commitment dedication andenergy to each of us
5 I commit to use this time to identify and create a Personal Ministry Plan for how I canserve and lead in our church and community based upon my gifts season of life amp passions
6 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed in the mentoring group as confidential
7 For married women I have discussed this commitment with my husband and he fullysupports my involvement He willingly relinquishes the time that I will need to attend thesessions and retreat and to do the reading and homework with the goal of becoming amore godly woman wife and mother He also agrees to participate in a monthly date nightactivity as a part of the marriage focus
Menteersquos Signature Date
Menteersquos Spousersquos Signature (if married) Date
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
31
Titus2 Mentor Covenant
I hereby commit and covenant to the following
1 I affirm my commitment to the mission of my churchministry and I promise to be a faithful volunteer leader supporter and ambassador for Christ2 I recognize that as a mentor my mentees and others will be watching my life It is my intent to live a life that honors God3 As a mentor utilizing the Titus2 Mentoring Women materials I will attend and be on time for each of the sessions and the retreat Serious illness or Divine Providence will be my only reason for not attending4 I will host monthly sessions in my home (once a month three hours each) and will arrange for my grouprsquos weekend retreat5 I pledge to have at least one ldquoone-on-onerdquo meeting with each mentee within the first three months of the mentoring year6 I understand that mentoring is about transparency I pledge to be open and transparent with my group7 I understand that this is a facilitation model not a teaching model I will listen more than I talk and will offer advice based on Scripture and my own experience and wisdom8 I will complete all reading and homework assignments and be prepared to facilitate each session9 I affirm that my work and family commitments will allow me the time and energy required to successfully lead this program10 I agree that I will keep whatever is discussed within the context of mentoring as confidential
Mentorrsquos Signature Date
Spousersquos Statement of SupportI hereby join in this covenant with my spouseI want to help her as she endeavors to invest in the next generation I understand that this year will re-quire a sacrifice of time and attention by my spousemdashtime that will not be spent with our family and meI pledge to support my spouse as she hosts monthly meetings and the retreat for this mentoring group I also understand and agree to help host one dinner during the year at our home for the mentees and their spousesIn addition I will support my spouse as she will be reading books memorizing scripture and connect-ing with the mentees and possibly other mentorsmdashall for the purpose of helping the next generation of women to grow in their faith and become the people that God desires them to be
Spousersquos Signature Date
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
ConnectConnect
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
33
Whatrsquos NextThere are two major tasks to be done now - recruiting mentees and selecting your topics and books
Task 1 - Recruiting mentees
Now you can start to identify potential younger women to be invited to apply for your mentoring program Itrsquos important that you NOT promise them acceptance A sample application is on page 35
After the sample application you will see a sample email a version of which has been used for many years It should be personalized for your group and to the specifics of the young women yoursquore reaching out to The email sets the tone for a high standard of transparency and vulnerability It specifically lays out the standards for attendance and for doing the reading memory verses and relational work Remember we arenrsquot trying to draw big numbers of ladies We want the right ones - those who are ready to make a commitment and grow in their faith
Yoursquoll need to know several details and dates before you can complete and send this email Readthrough it now and note the information yoursquoll need to gather
A personal phone call from a mentor saying ldquoHey I think this is something you should considerrdquo is highly recommended Remember you should encourage women to apply for the program And you should NOT communicate that they will be in a specific mentorrsquos group since matching is done through a draft process that wersquoll discuss later
Now you just ldquotalk it uprdquo and encourage as many potential mentees to apply as the Lord provides We suggest follow up emails to your list of potential mentees one week prior to your application cutoff date and then again about 3 days before
We suggest you review the applications BEFORE you send them to the matching team (prior to the ldquoDraftrdquo session) just to be sure the ladies whorsquove applied are genuine that their stories lsquohold wa-terrsquo and they seem to understand the commitment of the program
Task 2 - Select your topics and books
The other lsquomission criticalrsquo thing you need to be working on is the list of topics and the books yoursquoll be using
Please resist the temptation to take Titus2 in a theological direction Most lsquochurchedrsquo people have been exposed to far more theology than theyrsquoll ever apply Mentoring is about applied theology About living with and through our Living Lord
Consider using the Titus2 website and review all the topics select those you want to dive into over the next year and then select the book to go with the topic Titus2 offers a list of suggested top-ics and recommends a book for each Itrsquos really better that you not try to get ahead or read ahead Take a topic a month a book a month a Scripture (or two) a month and walk through the year in a deliberate prayerful thoughtful manner
Logistics
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
34
1 Mandatory attendance at the First Meeting - when the mentees are notified of acceptance into a group they will be informated that they must attend the first meeting and retreat These nights are critical for two reasons 1) they must her your story all together and at the same time 2) they must coordinate their calendars to set the dates for the entire year There can be no exceptions
2 Purchasing books ndash We STRONGLY suggest books be purchased by the mentors and not by the mentees directly
If you donrsquot have the budget to purchase the books have each mentor order the books for her group each month Then ask each mentee to bring $15 to each group session to cover the cost of the book for that month
We strongly recommend that the books be PRINTED books not Kindle or Nook editions and they be HANDED out in person by the mentor at each monthrsquos session You will NEVER be able to hold women accountable for reading a book unless you personally hand it to her They are busy and they may forget impacting the whole the group as a result
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
35
Titus2 Mentee Application
Name
Address
Phone (home) (cell) (work)
Email Address Date of birth
Choose one Single Married Single Again
If married how long have you been married
Do you have children If so please list their names and ages
If you work outside the home where do you work
Please briefly describe your decision to follow Jesus including where you are today
What do you hope to gain from being in a mentoring group
(continued)
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
36
Briefly describe things you are passionate about and provide life to you (hobbies interests etc)
I understand that by completing this application I am not guaranteed a place in a group in-stead I am applying and would like to be considered in the selection process
I also understand that if I am selected to enter the program I will need to sign a covenant and if applicable ask my spouse to sign a statement of support
Signature of applicant
Thanks so much for filling out the application Someone will be in touch within the next few weeks
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
37
Titus2 Sample Mentee Application Email
HelloAs a young woman desiring to grow in your relationship with Christ and to fulfill Godrsquos call-ing upon your life Irsquom inviting you to prayerfully consider being a part of a mentoring group I am forming beginning (insert time frame) This will be a special type of womenrsquos small group called Titus2 Mentoring Women whose vision is to connect younger women with an older woman in order to encourage and equip them in fulfilling Godrsquos purposes in their lives
I will seek to be transparent committed and available to you trusting God to lead me as I share the wisdom Irsquove gained through the years of walking with the Lord Some of the most valuable insights I will share come from my mistakes so hopefully you can avoid the same mistakes Irsquove made along the way
Each month we will focus on topics that are vital to you as a follower of Christ as well as a employee daughter and friend I am seeking to find ( of women) to fill our group You will not only have access to a one-on-one relationship with me but also the community of younger women in the same stage of life Each month a different topic is addressed through reading a book and scripture memory Some of the topics we will address include
Intimacy with God Prayer Identity in Christ Influence Gratitude Peace and Contentment Growing Through Difficulties Marriage Parenting Personality
The commitments involve bull Monthly meetings for (insert months) months from (700pm ndash 1000pm) (calendar will be set at the first meeting)
bull Monthly assignments which include reading a book memorizing scripture peer challenge and marriage focus (if applicable)
bull Required weekend retreat within the first two months
bull Cost to participate (insert amount) which includes all materials and book(continued)
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
38
[Titus2 Sample Mentee Applicaiton Email continued]
If you are already overextended in other commitments then you probably would be well served to pass on this opportunity Although not onerous the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work
I need to know if you are interested in pursuing this Really really think and pray about it If you are lukewarm donrsquot pursue it If you conclude that you are interested then reply to this email and say so
Also please feel free to forward this email to other women you think might be good candidates for our group You canrsquot make promises but please invite them to email me and express their interest
Participating in this type of group has been a major catalyst for spiritual and personal growth in many womenrsquos lives so please prayerfully consider it Please reply with a ldquoYes Irsquom interestedrdquo or ldquoNot interested this timerdquo Irsquod like to get your expressions of interest by (insert date)
In Christ
(your name)
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
39
Sample of Mentee Follow-up Email (after One-on-One Meeting)
Dear
I am beyond excited about beginning the Titus2 mentoring journey with you I am praying for you and believe some great days are ahead as we trust God and see what He wants to teach us I am confident we will grow in our love for Him and for each other
Here are some dates to mark on your calendar We will be meeting on once a month and will have one retreat during the year This is a (9 or 12 ) month commitment we both make ending in (month year) We will be meeting at my house My home address is (address)
Key Dates to Remember bull First meeting - (date) (time) We will start promptly at (time) it is important that you be on time
bull Tentatively put down the (week day ex third Tuesday) of each month for our monthly meetings and we will firm up those dates at our first meeting
bull Retreat - (If you have a retreat dates already put it here)
Bring to First Meeting bull Read and sign the group covenant (for married groups have your spouse sign also)
bull Complete the homework assignment (make a copy for me)
bull A 4 x 6 picture of your family
bull An expectant heart
Finally I would ask that you start praying now for our group as we invite God to lead us I am anticipating a great year together
(Mentorrsquos name)
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
40
Titus2 Kickoff CelebrationStart the year together in celebration Your new Titus2 community will gather for a meal- mentors and mentees
This will be the first time all the mentors and mentees will be together The agenda is simple
bull Eat together
bull Laugh together
bull Get to know each other better
bull Thank God for bringing you together
bull Celebrate
bull Have simple intros as well as set meeting dates for the year
Remember the main goal of this night is to have fun together and celebrate what God is going to do through Titus2
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
41
Planning for First MeetingYoursquore now looking down the road to the first meeting when the women will meet in homes for the first offical meeting You will have the documents needed for the first session printed out and notebooks prepared Yoursquoll have books for your womenrsquos first reading assignment in hand Yoursquoll have your faith story ready to share and yoursquoll be praying
Calendar Timeline (if not completed at Kickoff) Look at your calendar and get a tentative schedule for the year Have a couple of weekends to offer for the first retreat which is required The retreat will be the biggest challenge to get on the schedule If you end up with someone having a conflict they will need to adjust their schedule Be creative with retreat ideas Ask your Mentees what you as a group can do to ensure that everyone comes
Preparing for Mentoring Meetings in Your Home
bull Pray for your time together and for each young woman
bull Read through the mentor timeline for the meeting
bull Make sure you have completed all the homework assignments far enough in advance in order to be able to process the material and to be able to share what God has taught you in each particular area
bull Remember you are facilitating not teaching You want the young women to share what God has taught them that month allowing them to raise any questions they might have When they have finished sharing yoursquoll have the opportunity to share what you have learned through the years that relates to the topic
bull Have all books and materials set-up in the room in which yoursquoll be meeting
bull Have cups and drinks out and available if you so choose Keep it simplemdashwater or coffee onlymdashyou are not trying to impress the young women
bull Since yoursquove encouraged the mentees to be on time expect some to be there early Yoursquol personally feel less rushed if yoursquore ready at least fifteen minutes before the start time
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
42
The Legacy Continued A legacy is not left but lived The legacy of a mentor is continued on through every life she touches
Mentoring might seem risky as you step out of your comfort zone but yoursquoll be using yourexperiences and wisdom gained over the years to invest in younger women which could make a huge difference in their lives You have no idea how God could use your life to impact not only the next generation but many generations that follow
Will you join the legacy of Titus2 glorifying God and the next generation of women
Titus2 Prayer of Encouragement Our prayer for you is
bull that you will be blessed as you bless others
bull that the lives of younger women would be equipped for successful living
bull that God will give you wisdom discernment perseverance and joy as you in vest your life in the next generation
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
43
The material in this Guidebook may be reproduced and amended for the non-commercialuse of individuals and churches to make disciples and disciple-makers for Jesus Christ Any
other use or republication must have the express consent of Titus2 Mentoring Women
copy Titus2 2019
copy Titus2 2019