› Guiding Children’s Behavior

› Angela Hirsch

Toolbox

The first thing to look at when experiencing mistaken behavior in a classroom is the environment. Room arrangement, opportunities for active and quiet play, decoration, enough materials, too many choices, age appropriate materials, organization, schedules, paint color, opportunities to learn self-help skills, convenience. All of these things effect an child’s ability to practice self-regulation.

ENVIRONMENT

The way we speak to children (tone of voice, body language and verbal language) have a large impact on how children will behave. Children that are treated with respect, talk to; not at, listened to and allowed to express feelings without judgment will mirror this behavior. Teachers should leave personal issues at the door and begin each day with an excitement for success.

BODY EXPRESSION & ATTITUDE

A teacher should listen with the intent of understanding the child’s point of view and helping the child to solve a problem. Try to understand beyond what is being said. Look children in the eye, watch body language, repeat what you heard back to them and brainstorm problem solving while guiding children to make their own decisions.

ACTIVE LISTENING

When a mistaken behavior is less serious it may be best to ignore it. While this behavior may seem annoying, there is a chance that the intent of the behavior is attention. When the teacher ignores the behavior and engages in a different activity, the behavior may stop.

IGNORING

Redirection simply means replacing a mistaken behavior such as throwing cars with a more acceptable behavior such as a make-shift basketball game with paper balls and a waste basket. Distraction is diverting the child’s attention away from the mistaken behavior to a new activity that is more acceptable but may not relate to the previous activity.

REDIRECTION & DISTRACTION

Reinforcement is the acknowledgement of positive behavior or a new learned skill. Not to be confused with praise, acknowledgement recognizes the progress in self control or developmental stages. “I” statements, containing exactly what we see are a good way to use reinforcement. For example: I see that you picked up all your toys today during clean up, thank you.”

REINFORCEMENT

Active problem solving encourages children to face their differences and work together. We should help children work out their problems but not solve their problems for them. Open-ended questions such as “what could you…” will help the child think for themselves. Be an active listener and encourage children to express their ideas openly while guiding them to a reasonable resolution.

ACTIVE PROBLEM SOLVING

Giving children choices allows the child to feel in control of an otherwise difficult situation. Only offer choices that are available to the child and always follow through. Children learn self-reliance, self-direction and self-discipline when allowed to make their own choices.

OFFER CHOICES

When a child faces Natural Consequences, the adult defines the situation and allows the child to choose between behaviors. This allows the consequence to be the result of the child’s own action, giving the child the responsibility. For example: if you do not wear your coat outside you might get cold.

NATURAL CONSEQUENCES

Logical consequences are imposed by the teacher but must match the action. Not going outside because you hit your classmate is not a natural consequence. Leaving group time for hitting is a logical consequence. Teachers must be consistent and willing to follow through with logical consequences. The children should always be treated with respect and the goal is always to help the child find solutions to the problem rather than to punish.

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES

“I” messages are statements that do not make the child feel shame but rather state what was observed during a mistaken behavior. “I” statements are a way to clarify what we have heard or what we have seen, as well as help children understand how their actions effect others. Instead of “You cannot hit Sally”, “I saw that you hit Sally, can you tell me what happened?”

“I” MESSAGES