Guys Are From Mars,

Girls Are From Venus

Ray and Sue Bohlin

Probe Ministries

www.probe.org

No Male Bashing!

Why It’s Great To Be a Guy

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You can drop by without bringing a small gift.

3 pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You get extra credit for the slightest acts of kindness.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

Men Women

Sense of self: achievementTask-orientedSelf-reliantAsk for help = weakness

Sense of self: relationshipsRelational-orientedInter-dependentAsk for help = compliment

Men Women

Focus is on goal

Enjoy the process

Men Women

Competition Cooperation

Men Women

Analytical Intuitive

Men Women

Linear:focus on one thing

at a time.

Compartmentalized(like a chest of

drawers)

Multi-taskers:

juggle many little things at once

Contiguous

(like a ball of yarn)

Men Women

Action-oriented

Hostility: physical

Feels better by solving problems

Verbal

Hostility: verbal

Feels better by talking about problems

Men Women

When under stress: distracts himself with various activities to relax.

Withdraws into his “cave.”

When under stress: gets more involved with others.

Talks in order to be heard and understood.

Men Women

Primarily needs respect (trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement).

Needs to be needed.

Primarily needs cherishing (tender care, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, reassurance).

Needs to be protected.

Men Women

Words: for conveying facts and information

Words: like breathing

Summary of Gender Differences

Men tend to be tough and strong, women tend to be gentle and tender

Men tend toward logic and linear thinking, women tend toward emotion and verbal communication

Men tend to be risk-takers, women tend toward security and order

Summary of Gender Differences

Men tend toward relational insensitivity, women tend toward relational sensitivity

Men look toward the long haul, women are more concerned for the here and now

Men are more skeptical and suspicious (the provider in him?), women are more believing and trusting (the nurturer in her?)

The Butterfly

and

The Buffalo

The Butterfly

The butterfly has a keen sensitivity. It is sensitive even to the slightest breeze. It flutters above the ground where it can get a panoramic awareness of its surroundings. It notices the beauty of even the tiniest flowers. Because of its sensitivity, it is constantly aware of all of the changes going on around it and is able to react to the slightest variation in its environment.

The Butterfly

Thus, the butterfly reacts with swiftness toward anything that might hurt it. (Try to catch one without a net sometime.) If a tiny pebble were taped to its wing, the butterfly would be severely injured and eventually die.

The Buffalo

The buffalo is another story. It is rough and calloused. It doesn’t react to a breeze. It’s not even affected by a thirty-mile-an-hour wind. It just goes right on doing whatever it was doing. It’s not aware of the smallest of flowers, nor does it appear to be sensitive to slight changes in its environment. Tape a pebble to the buffalo’s back and it probably won’t even feel it.

The Buffalo

The buffalo isn’t “rotten to the core” just because he goes around stepping on pretty flowers. In fact, the buffalo’s toughness is a tremendous asset. His strength, when harnessed, can pull a plow that four grown men can’t pull. . . He (man) may tend to “plow” through circumstances, while [the woman] may “feel” life and her surroundings with much more sensitivity.

Created Differences

Man was formed from dust; woman was formed from flesh.

Man was placed in the garden alone; woman was brought to the man so they could be together.

Man was created with a need; woman was created to fill a need.

Man’s job was to work; woman’s job was to help man with his work.

Created Differences

Man’s job was cognitive/task oriented (name the animals); woman’s job was emotive/relational (meet the need of the man).

Man gave woman her name; woman received her name from him.

Man’s body was created to give a seed; woman’s body was created to give life.

Gender Roles and the Bible

Women’s Needs and IssuesWomen need to be cherishedWomen need securityWomen need to be treated with tenderness and gentlenessWomen are verbal creatures

Gender Roles and the Bible

Men’s Needs and Issues

Men need respect and support

Men are naturally self-oriented

Men and Women from the Beginning

Genesis 2: 18-25 -- The Creation of Eve

Eve was made for man.

Eve was made from the man.

Eve was brought to the man.

Eve was named by man.

Man is the head; he is responsible for the woman.

Men and Women from the Beginning

Genesis 3:16

Effect of the Curse on Eve

Men and Women from the Beginning

Genesis 3:17-18

Effect of the Curse on Adam

Four Pillars of Manhood(Stu Weber, Tender Warrior)

Heart of a King -- Provisionary Heart

Heart of a Warrior -- Protective Heart

Heart of a Mentor -- Teaching Heart

Heart of a Friend -- Loving Heart