HABIT 2 CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY OR SOMEONE ELSE WILL HABIT 2
CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY OR SOMEONE ELSE WILL
Slide 2
Would you tell me please which way I ought to walk from here?
That depends a good deal on where you want to get to, said the Cat.
I dont much care where-said Alice. Then it doesnt matter which way
to walk, said the Cat. From Alices Adventures in Wonderland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXpaB Osx4Gg
Slide 3
How can your life be like a 1000 piece puzzle? Put puzzle
together Surprise! There is no picture! The box is blank! How will
you ever be able to finish the puzzle without knowing what it looks
like? If you only had a one-second glimpse of what its supposed to
be, what a difference that could make.
Slide 4
Without it, you dont have a clue where to even start.
Slide 5
Now think about your own life and your 1000 pieces. Do you have
an end in mind? Do you have a clear picture of who you want to be
one year from now? Five years from now? Or are you CLUELESS?
Slide 6
HABIT 2 Begin with the End in Mind Means developing a clear
picture of where you want to go with your life. It means deciding
what your values are and setting goals. Habit 1 says you are the
driver of your life, not the passenger. Habit 2 says, since youre
the driver, decide where you want to go and draw a map to get
there.
Slide 7
So you dont know what you want to be when you grow up? Thats
ok. If it makes you feel better, most grown-ups dont know want they
want to be at any given time. By saying, begin with the end in
mind, we are not talking about deciding every little detail of your
future.
Slide 8
It simply means thinking beyond today And deciding what
direction you want to take with your life, so that each step you
take is always in the right direction.
Slide 9
When is it wise to begin with the end in mind? A contractor
will have blueprints drawn up before building a house. You read a
recipe before baking a cake. You create an outline before writing a
paper. (You should anyway.) It is part of life.
Slide 10
Lets have a begin-with-the-end-in- mind experience right now.
Clear your mind of everything and close your eyes. Just focus with
me. Breathe deeply and open our mind. In your minds eye, visualize
someone walking toward you about a block away. At first you cant
see who it is. As this person gets closer and closer, you suddenly
realize, that it is you.
Slide 11
But its not you today. Its you as you would like to be one year
from now. Now think deeply. What have you done with your life over
the past year? How do you feel inside? What do you look like? What
characteristics do you possess?
Slide 12
Float back to reality now If you were a good sport and actually
tried this experiment, you probably got in touch with your deeper
self. You got a feel for whats important to you and what you would
like to accomplish this next year. Amazingly, that is called
beginning with the end in mind.
Slide 13
Senior, Blakes example of turning dreams into realities: When I
feel frustrated or get depressed, I have found something that
really helps me. I go someplace where I can be alone, and then I
close my eyes and visualize where I want to be and where I want to
go when I am an adult. I try to see the whole picture of my dream
lifeand then I automatically begin to think about what its going to
take to get there, what I need to change. This technique began when
I was in ninth grade, and today I am on my way to making some of
those visualizations become reality.
Slide 14
Thinking beyond today can help you take charge of your life: I
have never planned a thing in my life. I just do things as they pop
up. The though tthat one should have an end in mind never, ever
entered my mind. It has been so exciting to learn, because I
suddenly find myself thinking beyond the now. I am now not only
planning my education but also thinking about how I want to raise
my kids, how I want to teach my family, and what kind of home life
we should have. I am taking charge of meand not blowing in the wind
anymore!
Slide 15
Why is it important to have an end in mind? 1. You are at a
critical crossroads in life, and the paths you choose now can
affect you forever. 2. If you dont decide your own future, someone
else will do it for you.
Slide 16
The Crossroads of Life So here you are. Youre young. Youre
free. You have your whole life before you. Youre standing at the
crossroads of life and you have to choose which path to take:
Slide 17
Some looming questions: 1.Do you want to go to graduate high
school? 2. Do you want to go to college? 3. What will your attitude
toward life be? 4. Should you try out for that team? 5. What type
of friends do you want to have? 6. Will you join a gang? 7. Who
will you date? 8. Will you have sex before marriage? 9. Will you
drink, smoke, or do drugs?
Slide 18
10. What values will you choose? 11. What kind of relationships
do you want with your family? 12. What will you stand for? 13. How
will you contribute to your community?
Slide 19
The paths you choose today can shape you forever. Its both
frightening and exciting that we have so many vital decisions when
we are so young and full of hormones, but such is life. Imagine an
eighty-foot rope stretched out before you. Each foot represents one
year of your life. Teenage-hood is only seven years, such a short
span of rope, but those seven affect the remaining sixty-one, for
good or bad, in such powerful way.
Slide 20
Visual demonstration: Rope experience. Thoughts and
comments?
Slide 21
What about Friends? Your friends have a powerful influence on
your attitude, reputation, and direction! The need to be accepted
and be part of a group is powerful stuff. Too often we choose our
friends based on whoever will accept us. And that might not be the
wisest choice.
Slide 22
Its hard.. But sometimes it is better to have no friends for a
time than to have the wrong friends. The wrong group can lead you
down all kinds of paths you really dont want to be on. Retracing
your steps can be along, hard journey. (Read P.77)
Slide 23
If you are having trouble making good friends, remember That
your friends dont always have to be your age. Be wise when choosing
friends, because much of your future hangs on who you hang out
with.
Slide 24
What about Sex? An important decision with HUGE consequences!
If you wait until the heat of the moment to choose which path to
take, its too late. The path you choose will affect your health,
self- image, how fast you grow up, your reputation, whom you marry,
your future children, and so much more.
Slide 25
Think this decision through..carefully. Imagine how you hope to
feel on your wedding day. How do you hope your future mate is
leading his or her life right now?
Slide 26
The Movies lie.. They glamorize sleeping around and having
one-night stands without acknowledging the potential risks and
consequences. They dont show you the life-altering reality of
contracting a disease like AIDS or STDS, or becoming pregnant and
having to deal with everything that brings with it. They dont tell
you what its like living on minimum wage because you had to drop
out of high school (and the father of the child is long gone and
sends no money)
Slide 27
They dont tell you what its like spending your weekends
changing diapers and caring for a baby instead of cheering on your
volleyball team, going to dances, and just being a kid. They dont
tell you the stress it takes on your parents as they try to
continue raising you and now an infant as well.
Slide 28
Yes, you are free to choose your path But you cant choose the
consequences that come with them. You must live with the
consequencesto the end. Read story page 78 The Real Thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3dA8lp-2Eg
Slide 29
Who is in the Lead? If you dont create a vision for yourself,
someone else will do it for you. Control your own destiny or
someone else will? Do you want your friends to tell you what you
stand for? You may have fine parents, but do you want them to draw
up the blueprint for your life?
Slide 30
You might be thinking. But I dont like to think about the
future so much. I like to live in the moment and go with the flow.
Ok, its ok to live in the present. You should enjoy the moment but
not have your head too far in the clouds.
Slide 31
But to go with the flow is not such a good idea. If you decide
to go with the flow, youll end up where the flow goes, which is
usually downhill, often leading to a big pile of sludge and a life
of unhappiness. You will end up doing what everyone else is doing,
which may not be your end in mind at all. The road to anywhere is
really a life to nowhere.
Go with the flow? What about STDs? Chlamydia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S__EEJDwNmY Herpes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW8sBvrJzCU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW8sBvrJzCU Top 5:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBmRS59ouFo
Slide 34
Without an end in mind of our own We are often too quick to
follow anyone who is willing to lead, even into things that wont
get us far. Never assume that the herd must know here they are
going, because they usually dont.
Slide 35
A Personal Mission Statement: The best way to have an end in
mind is to write a personal mission statement. This is like a
personal credo or motto that states what your life is about. It is
like a blueprint to your life. Countries, businesses and schools
write Mission Statements
Slide 36
SD308 Mission Statement Mission Statement Our mission, with
community support and utilizing standards and evaluative data, is
to create a safe learning environment in which students have
opportunities to acquire knowledge, skills, and values to succeed
in an ever-changing world.
Slide 37
Teens also write their own mission statements: Beth Haire
wrote: First and foremost, I will remain faithful always to my God.
I will not underestimate the power of family unity. I will not
neglect a true friend, but I will set aside time for myself as
well. I will cross my bridges as I come to them (divide and
conquer). I will begin all challenges with optimism, rather that
doubt. I will always maintain a positive self-image and high self-
esteem, knowing that all my intentions begin with self-
evaluation.
Slide 38
Mary Beth Sylvester wrote: I will live by my own policies. I
will sleep with a clear conscience. I will sleep in peace.
Slide 39
Steven Stron shared this one: Religion Education Succeeding
Productive Exercise Caring Truthful
Slide 40
Mission Statement of Adam Sosne - Have confidence in yourself
-Ask Questions & everyone else around you. -Strive each day to
reach interdependence -Be kind, courteous, & -Remember that
before you can change respectful to all people. Someone else, you
must first change -Set reachable goals yourself. -Never lose sight
of these goals -Speak with your actions, not with words -never take
the simple things -Make time to help those less fortunate in life
for granted. Than yourself or those who are having a -Appreciate
other peoples bad day. Differences and see their Differences as a
great advantage. Read this mission statement every day
Slide 41
Why write a mission statement? It will open your eyes to whats
really important to you and help you make decisions accordingly.
Read p.83 A Senior shares how writing a mission statement made a
difference in her life. A personal mission statement is like a tree
with deep roots. It is stable and isnt going anywhere, but it is
also alive and continually growing.
Slide 42
You need a tree with deep roots to help you survive all of the
storms of life that beat you up. Think about all the events you
cant control. You have to move. You lose your job. The country is
at war. Your parents are getting a divorce. Fads come and go. While
everything about you changes, a personal mission statement can be
your deep-rooted tree that never moves. You can deal with change if
you have an immovable trunk to hang on to.
Slide 43
Uncovering Your Talents An important part of developing a
personal mission statement is discovering what youre good at.
Everyone has talents, a gift, something they do well. Examples:
Singing, skilled at listening, making people laugh, giving,
forgiving, drawing, sports or just being nice. We all blossom at
different times. It may take you a while to uncover your natural
talents. We dont invent our natural talents in life but rather we
detect them.
Slide 44
The Great Discovery This activity is designed to help you get
in touch with your deeper self as you prepare to write your mission
statement. Answer the questions honestly. When you are finished,
you will have a much better idea of what inspires you, what you
enjoy doing, whom you admire, and where you want to take your
life.
Slide 45
Getting Started on Your Mission Statement below are 4 methods
of writing your mission statement. You may use any of them or any
combination thereof or anything else that suits you better. Feel
free to find your own method. It is, after all, your mission
statement.
Slide 46
Method #1: The Quote Collection Collect one to five of your
very favorite quotes onto one sheet of paper. The sum of these
quotes then becomes your mission statement.
Slide 47
Method #2: The Brain Dump Speed write about your mission for
fifteen minutes. Dont worry about whats coming out. Dont edit what
you are writing. Just keep writing and dont stop writing. Get all
of your ideas down on paper. If you get stuck, reflect upon your
answers to The Great Discovery. That should get your imagination in
gear. When your brain has been sufficiently purged, take another
fifteen minutes to edit, arrange, and make sense of your brain
dump. This will be your rough draft.
Slide 48
Method#4: The Big Lazy A big mistake teens make when writing a
mission statement is that they spend so much time thinking about
making it perfect, they never get started. You are better off
writing an imperfect rough draft and then improving it later.
Another mistake is trying to make your statement look like everyone
elses. That doesnt work. Mission statements come in many forms- a
poem, a song, a quote, a picture, many words, a single word, a
collage of pictures. There is no single right way to do it.
Slide 49
You are writing it for yourself Not for anyone else. Ask, Does
it inspire me? Keep it with you, read it often, let it inspire
you.
Slide 50
Whitney Noziskas Mission Statement CARE -about the worldFIGHT
for my beliefs -about life -for my passions -about people -to
accomplish -about myself -to do good LOVE myself -to be true to
myself -my familyROCK the boat, dont let -my world the boat rock me
-knowledge - Be a rock -learning -LIFE BE REMEMBERED
Slide 51
Now its your turn: Homework What is your own personal Mission
Statement? Type it and glue onto your poster.
Slide 52
The Three Watch-Outs As you strive to begin with the end in
mind and develop a personal mission statement, watch out for
dangerous roadblocks!
Watch-Out #1: Negative Labels Labels are an ugly form of
prejudice. (Pre-judge) Lazy, air-head, jock, pretty boy, party-er,
brains, babe, etc. If you have been falsely labeled, you can live
with it. The real danger is when you start to believe the labels
yourself. Labels are like paradigms. What you see is what you get.
For example, if youve been labeled as being lazy, you might begin
to believe it yourself and act out the label. You are NOT your
label.
Slide 55
Watch-Out #2: Its All Over Syndrome This is when you make a
mistake or three and feel so bad about what youve done that you say
to yourself, Its all over. Ive blown it. Who cares what happens
now? Its NEVER over. Teens often test the boundaries of life. If
youve made a mistake, just get your head screwed on straight as
quickly as you can and youll be ok.
Slide 56
Watch-Out #3: wrong wall. Have you ever worked really hard to
get something you wanted only to find that when you got it you felt
empty inside? We are often so busy climbing the ladder of success
that we never take time to see if our ladder is leaning against the
right wall. Having no end in mind is a problem, but having an end
in mind that leads us in the wrong direction can be an even bigger
problem. (page 93 paragraph 3)
Slide 57
How can you tell if your ladder is leading against the right
wall? TTake a moment right now and ask yourself: Is the life Im
living leading me in the right direction? Be brutally honest as you
pause and listen to your conscience, that inner voice. What is it
telling you?
Slide 58
Baby steps Our lives dont always require 180-degree shifts in
direction. More often, we need only small shifts. Small changes can
make huge destination differences.
Slide 59
Go for the Goal! Once you have your mission in place you will
want to set goals. Goals are more specific than a mission statement
and can help you break down your mission into bite-sized pieces.
Next learn the 5 Keys to goal setting.
Slide 60
Key #1: Count the Cost Make the goal bite-sized. Read page
94
Slide 61
Key #2: Put it in Pen A goal not written is only a wish. There
are no ifs and buts about it, a written goal carries ten times the
power. Read p. 95
Slide 62
Key #3: Just Do It! Read p. 96 Once we are fully committed to
doing a task, our power to complete it will increase. If you do the
thing, said Ralf Waldo Emerson, you will have the power. Those who
are fully committed always find a way.
Slide 63
In the words of Yoda, the great Jedi master: Do or do not.
There is no try.
Slide 64
Key #4Use Momentous Moments Certain moments in life contain
momentum and power. Learn to harness these moments for goal
setting. A New school yearA setbackA new season A life-changing
experienceMoving Breaking upGraduationNew Job A new
relationshipMarriageDivorce A second chanceA new home Birth Death A
Promotion A new day A demotion An anniversaryA new look
Slide 65
Often, tough experiences can carry momentum.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V87VXA6gPuE
Slide 66
The Phoenix Bird After every lifespan of 500 to 600 years, The
beautiful phoenix would burn itself at the stake. Out of the ashes,
it would later arise, reborn. In a like manner, we can regenerate
ourselves out of the ashes of a bad experience. Setbacks and
tragedies can often serve as a springboard for change
Slide 67
Character is the discipline to follow through with resolutions
long after the spirit in which they were made has passed. Sticking
with it when you dont feel like it is the true test of your
character.
Slide 68
Key #5: Rope Up Why do you think mountain climbers rope
themselves together?
Slide 69
To aid in climbing and to save their lives if one of them
falls. There is strength in numbers.
Slide 70
The more ropes you have out, the greater your chances for
success. You will accomplish much more in life if youll rope up and
borrow strength from others. Lets say you set a goal to get in
great shape for the summer. How could you rope up? 1. Find a friend
who has the same goal and the two of you could work out together
and become each others cheerleader. 2. Tell your parents about your
goal and get their buy in. 3. Share your goal with an athletic
trainer or your gym coach and ask for advice. 4. Rope up with
friends, siblings, parents, counselor, grandparents, etc. Goals in
Action: Read pg 98-99
Slide 71
Turning weakness into strengths Notice how David used the five
keys to goal setting. 1. He counted the cost 2. He put his goals in
pen 3. He roped up with his friend Eddie and others 4. He set his
goals during a momentous moment (when he was sick of being a punk.)
5. He had the raw tenacity to just do it. Davids weakness became
his strength. I forced him to develop discipline and
perseverance.
Slide 72
Douglas Malloch says it well: The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light, But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain, Never became a forest king But
lived and died a scrubby thing Good timber does not grow with ease,
The stronger wind, the stronger trees.
Slide 73
Make Your Life Extraordinary
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veYR3ZC9wMQ Carpe Diem Since your
destiny is yet to be determined, why not make it extraordinary and
leave a lasting legacy? Remember that life is a mission, not a
career.
Slide 74
A career is a profession. A mission is a cause. A career asks,
Whats in it for me? A mission asks, How can I make a
difference?
Slide 75
Who is it? *His mission was to ensure civil rights for all
people. Who is Martin Luther King Jr.? *His mission was to liberate
300 million Indians. Who is Gandhi? *Her mission was to clothe the
naked and feed the hungry. Who is Mother Teresa?
Slide 76
Most of us will never do great things. But we can do small
things in a great way.
Slide 77
!!Coming Attractions!! Youve heard of willpower. But have you
ever heard of wont power? Thats up next!
