Hardship Comes Ease: Depression In Islam By Sh Omar Suleiman

7/22/2019 Hardship Comes Ease: Depression In Islam By Sh Omar Suleiman

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Hardship Comes Ease w/ Sh. Omar Suleiman

INTRODUCTION

We tend to ignore the issue though people in general are just not happy. Today we have moreconvenience than ever before and all the comforts of life cars, houses, travelling around the

world in a few hours and we can do so much yet we arent happy and getting more and moredepressed. Suicide rates are on the rise, over the past 10 years it has increased every singleyear. Every year divorce rates are increasing, drug addictions are increasing, everything thatrepresents anxiety and depression is increasing. If a person has revolving issues of depressionthey may lead to doubt and a loss of faith. Such a person can not progress very far.

SOS: people ask me often, Ive got it all, why cant I be happy!? I must clarify that I am notspeaking to you from a medical perspective on depression, this is not my place. I have read manybooks on secular happiness, but they say what the Quran and sunnah already says anyway. I willalso not be able to cover this vast topic in but a few hours. If you look at Islamic literature, thereare volumes that are dedicated to this topic.

We look around and we see people with absolutely everything but they have deprivation from the

inside and they are just not happy. On the other there are people with a sense of fullness andsatisfaction on the inside and with miserable external circumstances, yet they are fulfilled andcontent. This is a fact. When talking about this entire subject of depression and happiness andloneliness.

Islam rather is practical and about taking solid concrete steps, its about looking deeply insideoneself and trying to figure things out. Often we try to blame external factors, "if im not happy itmust be evil eye on me, I must be possessed". When youre an imam everyone thinks they havea Jinn, "how do you feel when you read Quraan? - Great - well that in itself is a very telling thingabout you that you are human and not possessed!" Life is tough, you go through things, and youwill naturally find obstacles in your life, and thus the Quran is called, the cure for the hearts for areason. When you turn to it you ignore inconveniences in life and get to what is important.

When speaking about happiness, the word in the arabic language is, "sa-ada"and "Sa'eed" is someone happy. The opposite of this is Shaqi, someone sad and deprived.Happiness or beign Sa'eed in the Islamic texts means fullness on the inside whereas Shaqi issomeone deprived on the inside.

UNDERSTANDING WHAT GIVES YOU HAPPINESS

Being happy doesnt mean that everything is perfect, it is that you have decided to look beyondthe imperfections Anonymous

From a faith or duniya perspective, this is what happiness really is. People who try to make aperfect world in this duniya will never achieve it! All these books talk about a person unrealisticallyexpecting that they can have a perfect world on Earth, but Islamically speaking paradise is the

certainty that there is no paradise on Earth. As an example, whenever you try to create anunrealistic world in terms of your financial prosperity, if you do well financially a family memberdies, you are afflicted with a disease, your faith is not satisfactory; something is always fallingapart and this is what duniya is. You patch one area, the other falls apart. In your 80 years thatyou will face think about all the things and the trauma that you see in your life (or may havealready seen), and you can not avoid this.

At the end of the day this is the exact thing that is being said. If you excel in one aspect of duniyayou will suffer in another aspect. As they say, if you get rich and famous you will no longer have


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meaningful friends. If you dont have these things family may be stronger actually. A coolest signon retirement: twice the husband, half the moneymeaning if you make money you lose out onyour family life. You gain in one area, you lose in another. This is just the way duniya works. Theidea here again that the Akhira is the only happiness.

When we talk about the signs of the coming of the end of the world, our beloved Prophet

Mohammed (s) spoke about advancement in everything - technology in that we would be jumpingbetween skies (i.e with airplanes), competing to build tall buildings, gather and discovering oil andgold, everything was mentioned by our Prophet (s). The Prophet (s) mentioned that there wouldbe much advancement in humanity, yet he also mentioned that toward this end of time a personwould walk past the grave and envy the one who died, wishing they had switched places. Menwould wish suicidal thoughts. All of these are signs of emptiness, a lack of faith and fulfillment.Eventually people feel a sense of defeat and do not find a reason to live. James Baldwin said: themost dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose. When you haveabsolutely nothing to lose you do not care anymore. When you study the psychology of thisperson it is someone who lost hope in life and reason for existence. And people think the Emoculture does not exist today amongst Muslims. But people do this today just so that they can feelsomething, i'd rather inflict harm on myself then feel no reason for existenceeven if this meanstaking a knife and cutting myself up, I just want to feel something. The point is that the reasonwhy people do this is because they dont have a reason to live.

An interesting study showed that people like that before they end up in this kind of situation resortto crazy lifestyles, again, I need to have some sense of feeling, excitement and meaning into mylife. This people are seen going crazy and even when this ceases to fulfill them they start tobecome such, and again, there is no sense of purpose.

A poor person in America today lives like a king lived but a few decades ago, he has access tothings a king did not have access to a few years ago, but still he is in such misery. Today youdrive past a small town and you see people doing farming and the simplest things in life with fullcontentment. We think of them as inconveniences without recognizing that there is a sense ofhappiness and contentment to such tasks and in such living.When you have lofty expectations of this world you feel a sense of betrayal, you feel like youinvested yourself into this and you thought it would make you happy. This sense of depression isworse then anything in this world. Remember Sh Hatem's quote, as long as you do not haveexpectations in this world you will be fine.

But today people have expectations, e.g. people when they go to med school they become aslave to their profession for a good time, some people do go into it wanting to help people andwith a good intention, humanitarian reasons. When they come out and they are not fulfilled theyare miserable.

A person spent 13 years trying to get his PhD, and at his graduation he was so upset for thisbecause he literally wasted 13 years of his life just to add 3 initials to his name. The point again isthat lofty expectations can really affect you.The idea is fulfillment and often times people blame religion. People fail to recognize on anindividual level what deen gives to a person. Historically this is not true, everything that happenedin history - the crusades, the holocaust - were disguised as religious warfare but there was somepolitical agenda hidden beneath this. Europe went into bankruptcy and next they go into theCrusades against the Muslim crusades to hide their socioeconomic situation. On an individuallevel religion has been associated with better marriages, greater rates of happiness, better family

structures. and people often do not acknowledge this. Religion as a whole gives us a sense ofpurpose and fulfilment.In Surah Anfal, Allah says, Oh you who have believed, answer the call of Allah and Hismessenger when they call you to that which gives you life.When a person does not have this purpose - and not having purpose is indeed enough of amisery - this person just sees no reason to live and when this person suffers a hardship they haveno idea how to handle it whatsoever. As Ibn-al Qayyum al Jawziyyah said, for everything you losein life there is a replacement except for Allah. People can be fulfilled with miserable lives becausethey have Allah, and having Allah means you need no one or nothing else.


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Perspective is very important. Think about the glass half empty versus full; Hisham ibn AbdelMalik was a khalifa and had a dream. He saw that all his teeth were falling out so he called thedream interpreter and asked what this meant. The interpretation was that every single person inyour family will die infront of you in your life. He was upset and punished the interpreter. He askedfor another interpreter and he said, glad tidings oh commander of the believers you are going to

live a long life til you will outlive everyone in your familyand Hisham was happy! The sameinterpretation and he just played with the words. This is the perfect application of half empty vsfull.

The Prophet (s) called this world the prison of the believer and the paradise of the disbeliever, butthis does not mean the believer is depressed, rather the idea is that the believer is happier! Again,unrealistic expectations! The person with no standard of faith or moral compass can do more inthis life because they do not restrict themselves, but because they depend on such things to givethem happiness and they fail, their unrealistic expectations create a hell on Earth for them. Thusthat life wont be perfect, but Allah is and the believer knows this.

The role of Dua is very important, it is very powerful! The angel actually writes when the soul isstill in the womb the happiness or misery of one person (Parents take note). Everyone is capable

of happiness and misery, but being capable of happiness doesnt make you happy, even theProphet (s) would became sad.

Ibn Taymiyyah (IT) spoke about what gives happiness. He said that just as one is made ofRoh(the soul) and Jasad (the body), everything finds comfort from its source, so the body is createdfrom the earth and it is from this duniya so it finds pleasure in eating, drinking etc and this is howanimals are too. Thus Allah describes some humans as being animalistic selves, in the Qur'an

Allah says the example of them is the example of a dog. Thus with the component of body youhave unrestricted desires like the animal. And the soul will only be comforted by its source whichis Allah and it inclines only toward Allah. Thus like nourishing a plant properly, you have to nourishthe soul with Allah.

Ibn Taymiyyah further said that they both affect each other, when the soul inclines to Allah the

body is at peace as well. Ibn-al Qayyum al Jawizyyah further gave a beautiful analogy. If youhave a bad dream at night, a nightmare, when you wake up is your body affected by what yousaw? Yes. You may dream of yourself getting stabbed, and you wake up actually feeling asthough you were stabbed! It happens. Why so? Because Allah takes the souls every night. On theother hand, if you are physically hurt can it affect your soul? Yes, it can get you down. Anotherperson sleeping in the same bed may have had a good dream and they may feel amazing, theirday is so much easier because they are spiritually fulfilled. The Prophet (s) connected the two ashe said that, when a person prays fajr properly and do wudhu right, he wakes up with a goodsoul and energeticbut it isnt the same vice versa, when the body is satisfied and the soul isdeprived you wont find happiness.

The angels don't have the jasad (the body) and thus have no desires. Their happiness is throughibadah and worship. For them they have no choice. As Ibn-al Qayyum said:As humans we are in

between the angels and the animals (in our purpose). The animals have unrestricted desire andno purpose, the angels purpose without desire. If the human clings toward it's purpose (toworship) then he becomes angelic. Hasan Basri actually said that he becomes greater then theangels because he has a choice and he opts for the worship of Allah. So his status is greater thenthe angels because he opts for worship.

Ibn Taymiyyah also said that one affects the other, the extent of which everything gives youhappiness in duniya is the same extent of which it will give you misery.As an example, moneymakes you happy but makes you lose friends, it gives you higher responsibility and worries.


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Getting drunk in the beginning will make you happy in the beginning but give you the sameamount of misery when you have your hangover. Kids make us happy but make us sad, heard ofdemonic twos when kids are of two years old?

As reported in Imam Ahmed, the Prophet (s) said: There are 4 things that yield happiness, a goodspouse, a spacious home, a sweet ride (literally) and a good neighbor and there are 4

components of misery (and these are the opposite of above), a bad spouse, a suffocating home,a bad ride and a bad neighbor

This hadith is phenomenonal because the Prophet acknowledges that it is easy to arrive athappiness if these things are taken care of and it is easier to justify sadness if these conditionsare not met. Driving a car that wont give you trouble will definitely get you a better day then theperson whose car gets broken down every single day. Having a good spouse also makes lifeeasy. Having a more spacious house will naturally make you happy as well. Having a goodneighbor is especially important in cultures where it is emphasized. On the neighbor, the Prophet(s) said that Jibreel came to him and stressed the importance of being good to the neighbor somuch so that the Prophet (s) thought they would begin to take from inheritance.

But when comparing this hadith to the life of the Prophet (s), did he have all these things? No -

Did he have a spacious house? No (his house was 9 feet by 4 feet! Aisha narrates that when theProphet would go in sujjood he would tap his wife's leg to get her to move it), a good wife? Yes, agood neighbor? No, there are many narrations of his neighbors commiting heinous acts againsthim, a good ride? No. Often times we would see the Prophet riding a donkey, a mule, with a wornout saddle, which is not befitting of a king let alone a Prophet.

And was he happy? Yes. So we see that his happiness did not depend on those things! And thisis the idea. There is no one happier then him and it even reflected in his manners, Jaabir saysabout the Prophet (s) that he as not always smiling, rather he was always smiling and makingothers smile. Abdullah bin Hareth said I never saw the Prophet's face except that he was smiling!Despite his hardest task in his world, to deliver a message to the entire humanity, facing rejectionfrom people, suffering much emotional, personal, financial losses, despite all this he was sohappy!So again the Prophet (s) also made an important point: your happiness should not depend on anyof those things. He was still happy and he did not have 3 out of 4 of these things.

We conclude from this hadith that what the Prophet is telling us is that these are things that cancontribute to happiness, but again, do not depend on them! With our youth many think that theyare miserable unless they get married. They are placing their happiness on the condition of beingmarried. When you depend on those things and get attached, this is where misery begins. Evenin marriage! If you are single you can not think that you will be happy only when you are married.It does not have to be the car, the house or your social circle. Again if you make your happinessdependent on your spouse, your home, your car, your neighbor then you will be disappointed.

SOS: I visited my friend's new and massive house and before this they were living in a smallapartment. He was crying at his new home because he did not know where his kids were andwhat were doing now. Before this they would always be together. He even had an intercom in his

house but they did not even answer his intercom.

So we reconcile the hadith versus his life and the majority of sahaba who did not want this: Theseare components of happiness that allow happiness to be achieved. There are people that have all4 and are not happy and some have none and are not happy.

The Prophet (s) also teaches us the difference between a person capable of happiness versusone who is happy, and a difference between a person sometimes grieved and sad and a grievingperson. The Prophet (s) teaches us in a hadith about the angel coming to the womb at four


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months, and writing the Qadar of that fetus. He writes down 4 things; his lifespan, his date ofdeath, his rizq (imagine! it was written for you even before you knew the world, yet people thinkthey got it because of their work) and if the soul will be happy or deprived.

A few comments: Allah obviously does not force anyone's situation on them, rather HisKnowledge is all encompassing. These are the things we work for and achieve other then our lifeand death, but the point that Allah does not force these things on you.But from the hadith we see the difference between being capable of happiness and being actuallyhappy; it is to have a consistent behaviour of happiness. In reality a person who is really happysuffers moments of grief, because a person of happiness is one of purpose. If a person hasmeaningful purpose they will also grief at times.

ATTACHMENTS

Again it is about your expectations with duniya.

Shirk means polytheism, taking beside God.

Allah says that, attachments can become a form of shirk. Not that one commits shirk, but Allahsays in Surah Baqarah, from the people that have taken partners beside Allah, they love those

things as they should be loving Allah, but the believers love Allah more than they love thosethings This is what the scholars call the shirk of love - shirk al-Muhabba - because you seek thepleasure of someone and prioritize something above Allah, and you are naturally setting a rival to

Allah. These things they control one's life, they act and move for them, and they do thingsseeking people's approval, and thus constantly engaged in fulfilling this unhealthy addiction.Human nature is that humans do not retain consistency in anything. Once the quality that attractsyou to someone diminishes, you stop loving them and because you depended on it it now hurtsyou.But again those who believe love Allah so much more.

Al-Qurtubi says that the way the believer loves Allah you will never find anyone loving anythingelse, why? do the qualities of Allah ever change? is He Merciful one day and not the next day?Does he ever stop fulfilling? No. Allah is consistent, His 99 names and His attributes areconsistent. Allah is removed from His creation in that you can't compare Him to these things.

Thus a person who loves Allah is consistently fulfilled because the soul is consistently fulfilled.Ibn-Al Qayyum said that, because of the consistency of Allah's attributes, a person who lovesAllah never finds himself unfulfilled, whereas someone who loves other then Allah when theirqualities diminish it leads to disappointment.Interestingly people that come and say they are not into religion anymore, they must see whattheir heart is attached to and what circumstances and surroundings they have put them in foryears and decades, and then see why they are not finding any fulfillment in your prayer. It takes acertain level of understanding, of an expectation, and placing your hope in Allah and directingyour source of happiness to Allah, the Creatora and the Rabb.

Sh Hatem Al-Hajj, a scholar in Houston, is also a pediatrician and a former doctor with the mayoclinic. The islamophobes launched a huge hate campaign against him and he was no longer ableto practice, he lost his job at the Mayo clinic. Despite all this he was so happy! He would only

work 15 hours a week and focus the rest anyway on dawah. He was totally unphased by all thisand he smiled and said: if you dont have any expectations of the duniya the duniya can neverdisappoint you. Again it shows the attachment you have to Allah. He who has Allah needs no oneand nothing.

Allah makes another statement, that those who love Allah love Allah more then those things. Aperson who finds Allah never goes back, Allah describes this in Surah Ibrahim: have you seen theexample of a good word (the shahadah), it is is like a tree (the Prophet compared iman to a palmtree, as narrated by Abdullah ibn Omar). Allah says that this tree has a solid foundation and itsbranches are high in the sky and it consistently gives fruits.


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Like palm trees in Madinah, they always produce fresh dates. When was the last time we foundan apostate of Islam who was a scholar, a daaiyah? Never, and how many priests come to Islam?Many! A good Christian will end at Islam if exposed properly. We find Rabbis, Priests that acceptIslam and in large numbers, but we will never find someone knowledgeable in Islam leavingIslam. Why? Once you develop an attachment to Allah, yes the Imam withers, but there is afoundation and you always produce something. There are things that we as Muslims never giveup; our prayers, our acts of worship etc.

*SURAH ANKABUT (29): 41

Allah here says,The example of those who take awliyyah (wali means a protective friend, a friend who is aguardian and emotional, physical and spiritual protector, as Allah says that He is the Wali of thosewho believe beside Allah) its like a spider that constructed its home, verily the weakest of homesis the home of the spider, if only they knew.

Why is this ayah so unique? This is one of the miracles of the Quran. Is a spider web strong? Tosome creatures that get trapped in it yes, but why does Allah say the weakest home is the spiderweb. The only mention of the spider in this entire chapter is here, SubhanAllah. The focal point of

this surah is not the spider but rather of Allah testing the people for their faith, we can get an ideaof this from the beginning of the Surah as Allah says, do people think that they say they will justbelieve and they will not be tested for their faith, We tested the people before you, and throughthat we know who is truthful in their faith and who is lying. . The spiders web is an amazingcreation of Allah because scientifically speaking the tensile strength of a spider web is strongerthan steel. A bug caught in a web is not getting out. But the web itself as a whole is still weakbecause when the wind blows it will not hold. Why does Allah use this to refer to one whosearches for protection other then Allah? Allah uses this example because when you are attachedto something you cant see the world outside that attachment, you are just so caught up into it justlike the bug caught in the spider's web. So again, the entire Surah is named after that one ayahbecause of how profound the analogy of the spiderweb is!

Going back to addiction and dependence, as an example someone establishes a relationship

unlawfully, 3 years later they tell their parents they want to get married and instead of opting tostay with the family they get married, why? Because I cant live without her. This is allpsychological, in fact their life was a lot better before this! But when you are caught you arecaught. This is a mental block that one creates for themselves; this is my source of happiness!

And the only way you see outside of it is when the spiderweb is destroyed and this is when yourealize you really did not need this thing or person in the first place.People come from overseas where they lived very simple lives, when they got here and got useto a certain lifestyle, when they have a financial hardship they think life is going to end! When ourphones break we become depressed! Look at our attachments. We are literally addicted, but yourlife would be so much happier if you werent attached. Give yourself a vacation and let go of yourattachments and youll see how much happier you will become.

In Surah Baqarah, Allah says, you will be tested with anxiety, diminishing of health, wealth, and

by this Allah purifies one of having any other attachments. In Surah Doha, think of the problemsthe the Prophet went through no parents, no financial prosperity, his societal hardships, hishumiliation, persecution, his close ones being taken away from him all this because Allahwanted the Prophet to only be attached to Him. in Surah Doha Allah says, dont think that yourLord has ever abandoned you rather Allah was breaking all the attachments, Didnt Allah find youas an Orphan, looking for guidance, found you poor and gave you wealth.Allah reminds theProphet of His favors upon him. Why? To break those attachments, for him to enjoy a certainlevel of trust and reliance upon Allah, and then Allah encourages the Prophet and us, when yousee others in the same situation you remember! The orphan, the one asking, and Allah tried youwith the same experiences. Allah broke those spiderwebs so the Prophets trust was solely with


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Allah.

In Surah Hajj, ayah 31, Allah also gives an example of those that take Gods beside Allah -awliyyah - as He says,The example of those that took protectors beside Allah, is like this person was dropped from theskies (mid-air), than a bird catches him up and takes him somewhere and drops him and he finds

himself in a lost and abandoned place (he doesnt know where he is, he is lost).Some scholars say this refers to the Hereafter and some say it refers to this world. In this ayahAllah speaks that those that take from those other then Allah; this person is dropped and getspicked up by a bird, than the bird drops him. What happens to a person already emotionallyvulnerable? They are insecure and need another attachment another bird picks them up anddrops them and so on with another bird, and the person finds them self lost. This is exactly whatshaytaan does, he tries to get you to despair and be hopeless. Look at celebrities, they literally killthemselves because of the fame that they pursue. They spend their entire lives achieving this,then they are miserable because of their fame and end up killing thesmelves. How often do wenow hear of celebrities overdosing on drugs or being found dead in bathtubs?

NEEDS VS WANTS

Often times you will find that when you feel like you need something Allah will not give it to you. Itbecomes problematic when people begin to think they know exactly what is right for them and donot trust Allah for this. Look at the example of Istikhara, often we may ask someone, why dontyou pray istikhara? It means Allah will make things easier for you or harder for you depending onwhat is good for you or not. Sheikh Omar mentions the story of two people that he gave the duaof istikhara to, and both responded by saying they didn't want to pray Istikhara because they onlywanted that specific person.

Ata said that if Allah sees you asking for something, He will give not give it to you so He canbreak your attachment, then He gives it when you don't want it anymore. SubhanAllah, Ata calledthis the Ihsaan of Allah. A lot of times when we ask because we do not know what we want.

And we find that sometimes when people break that attachment than Allah gives it to them, why?It is no longer something that affects your emaan or your llife, and then and only then does Allah

make it easy for you. Ibn-al Qayyum said that sometimes Allah will not give you what you wantbecause you feel like you need it, but once you have converted a need into a want Allah gives itto you.

Lets look at the life of the Prophet (s): he lost his parents, he depended on Abu Talib but hepassed away, his uncle Abu Lahab was not much good in protecting him, rather made his lifedifficult, his emotional and financial source Khadija (ra) passed away. After he exhausted all hehad he is then living boycotted, faced rejection.He goes to Ta'if and thinks there may be hope but he was given the worst response. Talkingabout expectations because they determine the response, Aisha asked the Prophet what was theworst day of your life, and he replied without hesitation the day of Ta'if because he thought hesaw a dream of good which may have indicated either Ta'if or Madinah. He thought Ta'if becausethe Ansar had all youth - 3 people over the age of 40 - and in Ta'if there were people of stature.

We see here that the Prophet (s) developed expectations for Ta'if due to this dream. Yet when hewent there he was treated in the worst of ways, they lined up the ill and sick for 3 miles while theProphet (s) walked between them and they cursed him, they beat him, threw things at him and soon. Again, it goes back to expectations, the Prophet (s) finally thought he had an answer.But Allah comforts him, He says do not be disappointed because Allah saw you, and the Jinnconverted, and Al-Addas the slave converted. 10 years later when the Prophet (s) was inMadinah a young child came to him as a teenager and accepted Islam. This child had alreadymemorized Surah Tariq and the Prophet (s) was confused how he knew this without exposure toIslam. The boy answered that when he was a child the Prophet (s) came to Ta'if and recitedSurah Tariq. He memorized it at the first shot! And he never forgot it for ten years.


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The expectations were thus very high and indeed he was disappointed, but Allah gave him notonly his expectations but also prayer - the journey of Isra wal Mi'raaj. Allah allowed the Prophet(s) to taste the utter and absolute bitterness of duniya so he could feel the sweetness of Salah,literally, this is what was revealed at Isra wal Mi'raaj, subhanAllah. And so the Prophet (s) wouldlater say that he loved his wife and he loved perfume but the coolness of his eyes was in Salah!This is what gave him happiness and fulfilled him.

THE ADVICES OF JIBREEL

The next ahadith is a very profound hadith, an advice that Jibreel is giving the Prophet outside ofhis capacity of revelation, narrated in Imam Ahmeds musnad with the highest chain ofauthenticity. Hadith Qudsi is what we know outside the Qur'an. This hadith is Jibreel, the best ofthe angels, giving advice to the best of the mankind and creation, Mohammed (s). The scholarssay there is no other narration like this narration between Jibreel and the Prophet (s).

Jibreel says to the Prophet, oh Mohammed..(Allah when addressing Mohammed as a Prophet always says Ya Rasool-alAllah through out theentire Quran. That Jibreel addresses him here by his first name two things come out of this, 1.That this conversation is outside of the capacity of revelation and 2. This is heart to heart advice,

from the best of the angels to the best of mankind and all of creation)

And Jibreel gives the 5 advices...

1. Live as you will, you will eventually die

People often think that talking about death is pessimistic, but psychologically talking about deathin a good way is productive because you have something to look forward to. For a believer this isbut a break and then he moves on to the next and a better phase.The Prophet (s) himself died the most successful man on Earth, Micheal Hart (who rathed theProphet (s) as the best man in human history) said he yielded success in every field, he literallyenobled success! After all that he went through and in 23 years later he is living success. Not thathe had a big house and material, or that he went back on everything, he achieved what he

wanted to achieve. And he was given a choice by Allah - to live immortal or have thecompanionship of Allah, and Aisha narrates that when he died, his face was brighter then themoon, chanting I want the highest companionship over and over again. This is the face of a manwho embodied success.The Prophet explained this advice wisely when he said, be in this world as if you are a strangeror a wayfarer, and he also said, the example of me in this duniya compared to the hereafter islike a traveler who takes rest under a shade, and than he moves on. Abdullah ibn Omar, thenarrator, understood this and as a young man he said further that if in the evening dont expect tolive to the morning and if the morning, dont expect to live till evening. His idea thus that youshould have a sense of urgency always.

As an analogy, think that you travel and spend a night at a hotel, you spend thousands of dollarsat this hotel, you buy a car for this hotel night, whats the point? Again, as a traveler you are notconcerned with the conditions of your travel - you want comfort but not a lavish lifestyle and you

will never compromise on your place of settle for your place of travel. You won't sell your house tostay at the rich hotel. You dont want to harm the place you are going to!Ibn-al Qayyum said:A person will not find a home in the hereafter to live in except the one that heuse to build before his death.i.e. you cant build houses in akhira (after you die), only while you are alive in the duniya. Literallyyou are in your building phase right now! If a person neglects that building they will have no homein the Hereafter.Ibn-al Qayyum then said about this, the one who gains happiness in this life is the one whoabandons the world before the world abandons him.This is talking about attachments and emotions, but at the same time we are not encouraging


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someone to be a monk as there is no monasticism in Islam.Ibn-al Qayyum continues, the one truly happy in this world is the one who builds his grave beforehe lives inside of itand the one truly happy in this world is the one who pleases His Creatorbefore he meets him.Your grave is your good deeds in essence, you will only see in your grave your good deeds.You will meet Allah regardless, grudgingly or with anticipation, you either spoke to Allah in thisduniya or you did not. The wicked and the righteous, every single human will meet Allah. Therewill be no intermediaries, so please Allah before you meet Him. Having a bad interview on thisday will render everything fruitless, and you really only have one chance, one meeting for youreternal fate.

As Allah says in Surah Haaqa, as for the one who receives the book in his right hand, he will goaround boasting saying go ahead and read my good deeds, i knew this day was coming.Whereas the other person who receives the book in his left hand, i wish i never received thebook,and I never knew what my account was going to be, and i wish this was the end.Here is someone who was not ready!

And as Allah says in Hadith Qudsi, whoever loves to meet Me I love to meet him, and whoeverhates to meet Me I hate to meet him.

Aisha said to the Prophet (s), we all hate death, and the Prophet (s) said that this is not what it is,rather the believer is given the glad tidings of the mercy of Allah and His pleasure, he loves tomeet Allah, and when the disbeliever is given the bad tidings oh Allah's wrath he hates to meet

Allah.This person's entire life is getting ready for that interview thus! Your entire life is that, no matterwhat your condition is in this world.The irony is that the believers fear the consequence of their sins most, afraid of being heldaccountable, but still want to meet Allah because of their love of Allah, they do not despair fromtheir sins, and their love of Allah does not cause them to be complacent as well. The attitude ofthe believer is that they can not wait! The disbeliever on the other hand pretends it does not exist,and does not prepare for it.

A very powerful statement to consider: live life like a cancer patientIf everyone did so everything would be great. Why? If one is a cancer patient and they are in thelast stages, what happens? Naturally all the relationships are reconciled, and prioritized.

2. Love who you will, you are going to depart from that person that you love

It is definitely good to have a solid relationship, especially with those Allah has commanded us tobe good to, but Jibreel tells the Prophet (s) and thus us to love who we will, know that one daywewill be separated from this person.

Two things that we take from this, first that we must prioritize our relationships. As we have saidbefore, do not become dependent on any other relationship beside Allah, no human beingwhatsoever. First and foremost is thus Allah

A powerful hadith from ibn Kathir narrated in Musnad Imam Ahmed: Abdullah ibn Salaam was oneof the great Jewish Rabbis who accepted Islam. After the Prophet passed away, he was one of

the last sahaba to live as he lived long. Once a group of people saw him walking to the masjid,some sahaba told the tabaieen that this man is a man from Jannah, so this TabI Qais ibn Abbabsaid he followed Abdullah and told him that people said such and such about you, and the firstthing he responded is by saying: subhanAllah, it is not befitting for someone to say what he doesnot know, only Allah knows. But he told Qais the situation where the Prophet told him that you area man of Jannah, he, Abdullah said: I had a dream and in that dream I was in a large garden andin the middle of that garden there was a pole. I went to that pole and I was told to climb that pole,and I said I was unable to, than something blew me from under and blew me up, at the top of thatpole was a handhold, I grabbed it and felt stability. I woke up and told the Prophet about thatdream, the Prophet said: as for the garden, it is the garden of Islam, and the pole is the pole of


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Islam, and the handhold is the steady handhold as described by Allah in the Quran after the ayaatof Ayat-ul-Kursi in Surah Baqarah. Thus the Shahadah is a statement of negative first, nothing isworthy of worship but Allah, and the Muslims break that bond, and they grab onto the steadyhandhold, the Muslim finds tranquility and stability by holding onto this, and this is the handhold ofEmaan.

Ibn-al Qayyum said, make your love for the sake of Allah, if you are separated you can lookforward to Him after sometime.Umm Darda was married to Abu Darda, Abu Darda took it a little too far initially in Islam in hispractices and became neglectful of his self and his wife. We learn this from the hadith of Salmanal Farsi. Umm Darda had beat up clothes and was not well taken care of or paid much attentionto by Abu Darda. Salman was the assigned brother of Abu Darda after the Hijrah. When he sawthis, Salman forced Abu Darda to not pray all night and to sleep, to not fast all days and to breakhis fast, and so on, and to spent time with his wife and for his self. The Prophet (s) agreed withSalman. Umm Darda was with Abu Darda at the time of his death, before she got married shehad a very comfortable lifestyle, but at the same time they lived very simply. Umm Darda tells AbuDarda before he died, look in this world when you wanted to marry me you asked my father formy hand in marriage, now I am asking you to ask Allah for your hand in Paradise! SubhanAllah,beautiful, this is optimism! She is asking to be proposed in the next life as well. Abu Darda agreesand asks her to stay patient and he passes away. How do we know how loyal Umm Darda thenwas to this oath? And what is her optimism now that Abu Darda has passed away? Muawiya, thekhalifa, sends a proposal to her and she responds that she can not because she is alreadyengaged to Abu Darda in the Hereafter. Umm Darda did not receive much from him, but theyunderstood this was a temporary break.

The second priority after Allah is your parents and your family that are closest to you. Justbecause someone came into your life today does not mean that you neglect the people that havebeen with you for decades, a relationship that began at your own child birth. Just because youhad ups and downs with your parents does not mean you sacrifice this relationship. Being ongood terms with your parents, spouse, the people around you is also a great source of joy. Backto the cancer patient analogy, you will sort things out because you will not be heedless thinkingyou have time.Look at the loyalty of the Prophet (s) to Khadija, he was so deeply attached to her even after shepassed away. Aisha was jealous of this and one day asked him, did Allah not replace you withsomething better then an woman?, he said No and he defended her by mentioning her good, shebelieved in me, gave me, bore my children etc. Stability thus in our relationships is a great sourceof happiness. Thus trying to fix your relationships with the people you need to have yourrelationships sound with gives you happiness thus.

Ummar bin Khattab said, dont let your love be too much and dont let your hate be too muchbecause one day the one who loves you too much may one day turn around, stab you in theback, and become your enemy and the person that you hate may end up being your best friend,so dont be excessive in loving and hating.Sometimes when you hate someone so much it becomes your life and how you live your day.

3. Do what you want, you are going to be compensated for what you have done

Some people are completely reactive rather then being proactive. They do not feel bad abouttheir sins until they face the consequences. A hole may be infront of you and people keep tellingyou not to approach it, and only until you fall into it and face the punishment do you regret it.Rather a believer has so much certainty in Allah that he worships Him as if he can see Him andHe follows the command of Allah with full faith. Ali said at this, if i was to see Jannah I wouldnt itany more then I already do, and if I were to see Hellfire I would not fear it more then I already do.SubhanAllah, this is certainty!


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And Allah in the beautiful ayat of Surah Zumur tells the people of despair and sin to not do so andto turn to Him, further Allah says He will forgive you, so switch course and turn around, beforepunishment comes then you will not be helped. Follow the truth revealed from your Lord, beforethe punishment comes all of a sudden.On the day of Judgement a person will say, Oh how I wish ("Hasra" refers to something on theday of Judgement), what did I do? I use to be those who mocked the revelation. Or he says, if

Allah would have guided me I would have been those amongst taqwa.Here we see that this person does not take responsibility for his actions!Or when he sees the punishment, this person says, had I only had another life I would beamongst those who excel. I will worship Allah as if I see Him.The problem again that some people do not wake up until they see the consequences of theiractions. Such people face punishment in this life too. They just don't take accountability for theiractions.

A book on success mentioned the quote, "goal minus doubt equals reality." Think about yourgoals, think about the doubt that you have in achieving that goal and this is where your station is.Thus ibn Huyaan would say: I am amazed by paradise, how is the one who is seeking it asleep,and i am amazed by Hellfire, how is the one running from it sleeping.The point again that there is a sense of urgency for both situations. You should always be inurgency, whether in fear or hope.

Allah allows you to act as you will, but you are only going to find on Day of Judgement what youhave done. This is the most important aspect of Qadr. On the Day of Judgement Allah is notgoing to show youAl-Lowhal Mahfoudh, the preserved tablet, where everything is written as it willhappen. Allah will only show you your own books and your deeds only. Jibreel is telling theProphet because we have an understanding that happiness is not just the akhira but the duniyaas well, so Jibreel tells the Prophet do whatever you want, youll be compensated.

4 and 5.Know that the nobility of the believer is in his standing at night, and his honor is in beingindependent of people

These two advices are extremely important and should be taken together. Having a solidrelationship with your Creator is so important, and of the sunnah prayers the best is Tahajjudwithout a doubt because when the entire humanity is sleeping this is a chance to be alone withyour Rabb. Ask yourself if you have experienced Tahajjudhow beautiful it was e.g. in Ramadan inthe last few nights praying Taraweh at night. You didn't sleep much but how amazing was yournext day! One answer for happiness is literally standing up at night and talking to Allah.Hasan Basri was asked because he would barely sleep, but at the same time everytime youwould see him he would look very fresh. What was it about him? So they didnt want to ask himdirectly, so they went to him and asked him why is it that the people who pray Qiyam have thefreshest faces, and he responded very beautifully, they secluded themselves with the MostMerciful so Allah dressed them from His lightWith Allah you have this opportunity every single night. Just 30 minutes before Fajr wake up and

just pray. As the Prophet (s) said that Allah descends to the lowest heaven, asking is anyoneasking for forgiveness so I may forgive him. Allah thus has a private conversation with this slaveevery single night! Things will happen for you that even you can not explain. Your nobility is when

you stand infront of Allah invoking Allah alone, this gives you so much happiness and elevatesyour status, naturally when you ask someone it degrades you, but with Allah the more you askHim the more your status increases!The Prophet said: Whoever lowers himself for Allah, Allah elevates them. Ibn Rajab said: I amamazed that people spend their nights at the doors of the kings, asking, and the One who ownseverything, the kingdom of the heavens and earth, extends His Hand, is there anyone that wantssomething that I may give it to them?

When further looking at these two advices together, one is spiritual and the other is physical.


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The advices emphasize independence in both ways. Do you call people and complain about yourproblems after Qiyam? No, because the greatest form of independence is emotional. In Islam andgenerally as Muslims, we should all strive to be as independent as possible of people. TheProphet (s) said the giving handing is greater then the receiving hand, the upper hand is thegiving and the lower is the receiving hand. Asceticism does not mean you will be a begger for therest of your life. Asceticism does not mean poverty.

The greatest form of fulfillment is emotional and the greatest form of trial is emotional.Allah says in the Quran, we will test them with some form of fear and hungerImam Sa'adi said the reason Allah mentioned fear first is because emotional trials are greaterthen physical trials. Betrayal is as if being stabbed in the back, it is one of the worst feelings tohave but at the same time you opened yourself up to be let down. And so the greatest form offulfillment is emotional fulfillment again.

Your sense of satisfaction is knowing that you are fulfilling to Him. And as for anyone else that youare trying to please in this duniya? Allah says, the one seeking and the one sought has beenweakened. You will never be satisfied with anything other then Allah.

Always ask yourself who you are trying to impress and what will they do for you? Who will answerwhen I am in need? Is there any God beside Allah? On the other hand Allah being impressed with

me is what I want. This is self-actualization, in Mazlow's hierarchy of needs the level of self-actualization is being independent of the need of others.A French teenage girl shaved her head when the French government passed the law that a girlcan not cover her head in school. When asked, she smiled at the camera and said if being ugly inthe eyes of the creation means being beautiful in the eyes of the Creator then it is worth it.SubhanAllah.Imam Sufyaan At Thawri said: oh Allah, if your love for me has been actualized then everythingelse becomes meaningless, because everything else is meaningless, it is of dirt and is dirt initselfHabeeba Al Adaweeya who was known for her worship. She would stand at night on her roof andshe would be heard sayig: Oh my Lord, the stars have come out, the eyes have shut, and thekings have closed their doors, and every lover is with their lover, and here I am standing beforeyou.SubhanAllah, these righteous people demonstrate complete dependence on Allah anddependence of Allah yields independence of creation.Islam thus teaches financial independence and spiritual independence as soon as possible. Itcreates a perfect society in that the people well off are looking for those not so well off. And thosenot so well off are independent and not looking for anybody. And this happened in our Ummah.Ummar bin Abdel Aziz in his time did not find anyone to give Zakah to. They had to run afterpeople, he had to go and investigate the entire Ummah and we know that it was extremely largeat the time. They just could not find anyone needing Zakah.

A man came to Ibrahim Adham and said he wanted to become a monk, and when asked of hisrizq he said Allah would provide. Ibrahim said you are a fool dont do this, go work. Rather theman continued. He sat in the masjid and saw a bird with one wing that was clearly blind. And hethought to himself how will it be taken care of, so he saw another bird come, give it it's food andleave. The man though this is how he would also be taken care of. So he decided to wait until the

food came, and he waited three days without any food. So he returned to Ibrahim and asked himwhy this happened. Ibrahim answered why did you think of yourself as the crippled bird why notthe one fully functional one?

COMPLAINING(for more on this, see "Tafsir Surah Maryam" done by Sheikh Omar Suleiman)

Iqbal wrote a famous poem on this topic called Shaqwa (or complaining). The scholars were


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unhappy with this so he wrote Jawab-as-Shakwa (the answer to the complaining) and all thescholars were happy.

What about complaining to a human being? Ummar bin Khattab would say there is no good incomplaining to another person except that you'd depress a friend or make your enemy happy.There really is no good complaining to others. Usually the way friends are is that they look at how

much they benefit from each relationship. If I am getting more out of you than you from me, werecool, but when this becomes imbalanced that person will get sick of you, that person wont like tohear you complain all the time! When you are always needy, emotionally and financially, youoverburden the other person. In essence we find that there are some people that are capable ofhelping you but unwilling to, and some are willing to help you but not capable. Rich people canwrtite you a check but are unwilling, your mother would love to write you a check but is notcapable. Allah is both, willing and capable.

As Ibn-al Qayyum said,people eventually get sick of you.At the same there are people that really love you but are incapable of helping you, Allah is alwayscapable and willing. Further, Allah becomes angry with you when you do not call upon him, theProphet (s) said when you dont ask Allah He becomes angry with you. A generous host when notasked for anything gets frustrated. Allah is more generous then anyone in this world and He doesnot like that we stop asking of Him.

As Yaqub (as) said, I complain of my grief to Allah, there is no good in me complaining to the restof you in telling how sad I am that I lost Yusuf. Amazingly, in Surah Yusuf, not once does Yaqubever complain to anyone else! The theme of Surah Yusuf is Yaqub never loses hope in Allah anddoes not complain to people about Allah. We must really understand this concept to turn to Allahand complain, oh Allah I am hurting! And you are most capable of those giving mercy. Thisrepresents trust and makes us more independent of people. It allows us to have that relationshipwith our Rabb.In the story of Prophet Zacharia he calls to Allah; oh Allah my bones are old and my hair hasexploded with grey but You never let me down before, youve never left me deprived. Here is a 90year old man asking for a child with full confidence in Allah! And Allah wants us to understand asHe says, this is the mention of the Mercy of Your Lord to His servant, so we understand that thisis the same Lord who will answer us and listen to us.The idea here is that complaining to Allah is absolutely not a bad thing, Ibn-al Qayyum said thatthis is a form of dua. Ibn-al Qayyum further said something beautiful: When you complain to

people all the time, you complain about the one who has mercy upon to people who dont havemercy upon you!But it is the manner in which you complain to Allah that makes it permissible orprohibited. Ayyub (as) went through all kinds of hardships, did he complain to Allah? Yes! Buthow? Literally, I am hurtand you are the most merciful of those capable of having mercySubhanAllah.

This shakwa, complaining to Allah, if you have that ability to stand alone with Allah at night callingupon Allah, you dont feel a need to constantly vent to human beings! Why? I am venting to theOne who has mercy upon me and this strengthens your faith. And why would you call upon Allahif you dont even believe that He is there?

To summarize, the advices from jibreel

1. Live as you will, you are going to die2. Love who you want, you are going to depart from that person3. Do what you want, you are going to be compensated for what you have done4. Know that the nobility of the believer is his standing up at night5. His dignity, izzah is being independent of people

A MEANINGFUL LIFE


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Allah tells us in Surah Hadeed: 19,Know that the life of this world is play, amusement, superficiality (appearence), competitionamongst yourselves, pilling on money and living those same things or shallow goals through yourchildren.This ayah is commented on from many different ways and angles. One such is commentary isthat Allah gives us 5 stages that a person goes through in our life.

At-Tabari says about this ayah that this is chronological and one will have some aspect of what ismentioned in each phase. When you are born everything is about play - your iphone is a toyeven. The second is amusement, the kid grows up to be a toddler and you can put them in frontof barney and sing the same song 500 times, this is the zombie age and they will just beentertained all the time as this is what they want. A scholar said that by the age of 7 every childmemorized the equivalent of the Qur'an in cartoons and such. This is the amount that is storedinto the brain by meaningless things.Then with teenage-hood comes superficiality, you define your worth by how others define yourworth. Boys spend hours in front of their mirror! The music you listen to is because people likethat you like that music. At that age you really live a very purposeless life, and this is again forone that has no meaning, it is all about perception of others.Then comes the ages of 18-20 and competition begins. You want to prove yourself, and you tellyour parents you are a grown man and that they cant talk to you a certain way because you havepride. This is a very dangerous stage. You want no one to tell you anything and feel threatened

and insecure. You are about your position and proving yourself, thinking you are someone whodeserves respect.You get your degree, money, and you get married and you have children, then you live the sameaccomplishments through your kids; they have to look a certain way and not bring shame to yourfamily, and your life becomes money and kids, meaningless. Unfortunately this is very apparent inthe Muslim community today.Then Allah says in the same ayah 19It is like a strong beneficial rain came and some crops grew and the farmer got excited, the cropsgrew and they appeared to be giving fruit (meaning he begins to be amazed by the crop that hefeels like he is yielding through these things), became nice trees and crops and so on, then thetree starts to fade, and the leaves (dry and) turn yellow (you see it as yellow) then it completelydisappears. And they will be punished in the Hereafer as well.You spend your entire life going through these phases without managing to break out of the cycle

of life, chasing after the things everyone chased after and without deriving any form of happinessthrough these things. What Allah speaks about now is that anything you have in this life andduniya turns yellow, this will be your perception of it even though it may not turn yellow. When youfirst get something, especially something you really want such as a car or house, it looksamazing, and once you have it you no longer have fulfillment from it. Soon the car just becomesyour steel box that you use for work and commuting.Imam Showkani said,Allah did not say it turns yellow, rather you see those things turn yellow.You move into a brand new house, and it is amazing, next thing you know the kids have holes inthe walls, stuff all over the place, and then its just a place to live.Shaytaan markets by our vulnerability, a professor once said that marketing is exploiting people'svulnerabilities. We are told; You need this to be happy, do this and you will be satisfied, this

product is what you need etcIn particular, some scholars comment that this is at the time of death. When a person looks back

at their life and they did not gain anything they face immense regret, what was their legacy in thisworld? There are all these questions that they have of their life because they did not achieve whatthey felt like was meaningful. In the Quran Allah says that the one dying will say, oh Allah sendme back so I can do well with that which I left behind. This is a great sense of regret and remorsebecause a person did not live a meaningful life.Ibn Taymiyyah said that, nothing that Allah has created in this world gives a person ever-lastinghappiness. He gave the example of alcohol, they drink to escape, short-term happiness, andwhen people wake up in the morning how do they feel? Hangovers, terrible headaches and soon. Even with this people drink that to escape their problems and wake up with greater problems,and have more problems in their lives.


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Allah describes the "hamster in the wheel", you think you are getting places but in reality you aregetting no where. These people fail in all stages, and then they realize they have done nothingmeaningful in their lives, and this is extreme depression. The sooner you break out of this phasethe sooner you get to Allah. Someone young and developing a relationship with Allah will find itharder to be deluded, and the more one believes in this process the more they are deluded andthe harder to break out of this.

This is punishment in this duniya, and Allah says, do not be impressed by their money andchildren and all that they have, Allah is actually punishing them by their thinking that this will givethem happiness! Why? Everything turns yellow. Iphone 1, 2, 3 and so on and nothing satisfies.

The tragedy of America is that you enslave yourself to a mortgage thinking it'll give youhappiness, then you get a car thinking it'll satisfy you, then you drive to work to satisfy a mortgagefor a house you can't even appreciate. Everything loses value! It turns yellow. Every yearcompanies will change their cars by a bit, and thats it we want it. There is no difference betweennew phones, new cars and so on, they just play to people's insecurities.

As human beings we love what we dont possess, from the outside it looks amazing, once you getit it is not fulfilling anymore, I need something else now!The next iphone, the next car and so on

with things. You get a nice house and you put yourself in debt and slavery, than you have to workmore to pay, than a nice house comes up and that house looks a lot nicer! Shaytaan does this,beautifying things from the outside, and than you are miserable beause the things dont meetyour expectations. Think about this, you buy a car which looks amazing! In 2 weeks or so it is justa car. A $40,000 cheaper car is the same after two weeks, it takes you places and is yourtransport which is what it is supposed to do. At the end of the day your million dollar mansion isthe same as an apartment, you live and sleep there. And you must spend more and more tosatisfy yourself. Allah says, everything turns yellow! After you own it. You move from one stage tothe next, and the faster you break the addiction the happier you will be! Look at the one at ayoung age they find Allah and their happiness. The longer you take, the harder to break thataddcition. The young person though who is seeks guidance by Allah though found meaning intheir life at an early age. The ayah then says, in the Hereafter you are punished. It waspunishment in this life to think it would make you happy, and it than led to misery in the hereafteras well. Today the highest suicide rate is from celebrities and millionaires! Usually what happensis that the celebrity in glamour will drown in a pool, found behind 7-11 with a needle, and peoplethink how could this ever happen. .

AOL has a feature called, "what happened to that 80s star". So you look at that nice celebrity andnext you see them years later and they look horrible. And you ask these celebrities decades laterand what happened to them? They mention that they thought all that wealth and fame wouldmake them happy. A celebrity that was being interviewed was very depressed and were asked,what do you want? She answered, I just want to be able to take my son for ice cream and not be

papparizied.

Sins in particular are problematic. As Ibn-al Qayyum said, a sin is a fleeting moment of pleasurewith a lifetime of regret whereas a good deed is a fleeting moment of regret with a lifetime of

pleasure.What we find is the strength of good deeds! The Prophet said (as narrated in imam ahmeds

musnad): if your good deeds make you happy and your bad deeds sad you are a believer(i.e.you have some emaan).The idea here is not that a person becomes proud when they do a good deed, but that gooddeeds make you happy. You feel good when you pray fajr, make dua, give charity, read Quraanand this natural!The worshipping of Allah never ever loses value. Achieving milestones in deen, building yourselfup to Allah never loses value.

Ata said that there are three pleasures to good deeds and 1 temporary one for everything else: 1.The pleasure of actually doing a good deed, even if you are getting exhausted, 2. The joy every


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time you remember the good deed. As an example, ones that toil hard to build a masjid look backat the people that come with happiness. At the end of the day a sense of accomplishment is allthat one really needs. 3. When you meet Allah with those good deeds and you live an eternitybeing rewarded for those good deeds. For the one who does for other then Allah all the reward isis temporary happiness and it is suffocating. People that buy a house on a 20 year mortgage in afew years feel entrapped, they can't leave the house even if they want to! And they suffer inregret.When you think about your Ramadan, your Fajr, your volunteering, and all those times when youreally strived hard in your worship you always have fond memories of it. You never feel bad whenyou think bad on those things. Remembering a good deed gives you a sense of happiness, andthe ultimate joy is meeting Allah. As an example, the Prophet (s) said that for the one who fastsare two joys , when he breaks his fast and he does not even know the real joy when he meets

Allah with that fasting.Again here is a sense of living a meaningful life. Accomplishment ishappiness, even when tired and exhausted you will be happy.When we look at the lives of the companions and those that came before, they cried at night, theirfeet swollen from prayer, they were beaten, humiliated and oppressed, they exhausted theirefforts for what they believed in. This does not sound happy as we think that chilling is basicallyhappiness but were they ever unhappy? No.Ummar bin AbdelAziz did not have much at all, infact he only had one garment. He was alwaysstressed out about injustices during his reign, but when he is dying what happens? Think about

having that sense of regret mentioned earlier - he had none - his face lights up and he asks hisfamily to leave him alone, and as they are peaking in the see that he is smiling and he recites,welcome to these beautiful faces that dont belong to Jinn or human beings. And he recited, this isthe home in Paradise, we grant it to those who do not seek corruption or status in this world, andvictory belongs to the believers. He is content and happy because he accomplished great things.We see this in the lives of the Sahaba and the righteous that they worked their entire lives and

Allah gave them peace and satisfaction in their last moments.Likewise with the Prophet (s), when he was dying he told Abu Bakr to lead the prayer, and while

Abu Bakr was doing this the Prophet removed the curtain of his house, he was smiling andwatching the believers praying, and his face was so beautiful that it was narrated it was like theface of the mushaf. Anas narrates that they noticed him and started to get excited, and he made asignal for them to continue and this was the last they saw of him. Think: blood, sweat and tears,and think of the fulfilment had when the Prophet (s) saw all these people praying as he taught

them to pray, that feeling of accomplishment was worth everything he went through in his life,SubhanAllah. Do you think he was thinking of Ta'if at this time? Bitter about the past at all? No - itall becomes worth it when you see the fruits of your efforts. This is the key and this is what Islamgives to us.Eleanor Rosevelt said that Happiness is not a goal but a product of a life well lived.Every night when we go to sleep we die a minor death, when you put your head on a pillow atnight when you review your day you should be able to smile and say alhumdulilah i had a goodday. Think then at the time of your death when you review your life you will be pleased,inshaAllah.

It is so important to have goals and this is exactly what Islam gives us. Islam gives us everydaygoals, monthly goals, lifetime goals and so on. Sheikh Omar comments especially on thesweetness of memorizing the Qur'an, having accomplished that goal, when you finish reading

Surah An-Nas after dedicating yourself to memorizing over 600 pages, the feeling that you haveis beyond this world.The story of the mother of Sh. Omar Al Ashkar: him and his brother were great scholars. Theirmother, 70 years old wanted to memorize the Quran but she did not even know how to read it.They decided to teacher her from the absolute basics. The first word they taught her to read was

Allah. Sh Omar would read the Quran to her and she would get excited when she saw the wordAllah. Then she started to know the common names, and then the common words in the Qur'an.In 6 years, at the age of 76 years old she finished memorizing the Quran! He said that it took herlonger to read Surah Nas then to read Surah Baqarah because she could not stop crying. Thiswas her sense of accomplishment, I did it.


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Again, it is so important to set goals. These goals must be attainable, low enough that they canbe aspired for, and high enough to inspire to do.Imam Abu Hanifa before becoming a scholar and even after becoming a scholar was a verysuccessful business man. He would buy clothes for his students and would spend on everyoneand in his personal lifestyle went from extravagance to simplicity. He would say, if the kings knewthe joy that we had, being in the pursuit of Islamic knowledge, they would send armies to attackus and take it from us.

Another beautiful quote on knowledge, the one learning is in pleasure while learning while theignorant one is constantly deprived in his ignoranceInshaAllah we can be of those people that do much in our life. On the day of Judgement you maynot even recognize your good deeds because Allah multiplied them so much!

A french philosopher posed as a Muslim and went to Hajj to capture the experience, he said, Iknew this was something beyond my comprehension when i was doing Tawaf around the Kabahand I saw a man clinging to the cloth of the Kabah and saying Now repeatedly!Asking Allah togive him death then. You know you are doing what you love if you wouldnt mind dying doing whatyou love.Sh Omar narrates the story of Sh Mohammed Hussein. During Hajjj on the day of Arafah he felland down and hit his head on tiles. He had big wound on his head and went into a coma for 4days. He woke up on the 13th of Dhul Hijah and opened his eyes and was actually regretful as hewas really hoping that Allah would take him away at Arafah.

PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Is there such a thing as clinical depression in Islam? Are anti-depressants Halal? Yes and yes.Unfortunately there are two extreme viewpoints on this, the first that everyone needsantidepressants and they are over-prescribed and secondly that only Qur'an, dhikr of Allah willwork and nothing else is needed. A study in USA said that 82% of people get prescribed amedicine they don't need. A book called "The church of medicine" speaks about eating unhealthyand adopting an unhealthy lifestyle so we can visit doctors often.Is there such a thing as clinical depression though? Yes, chemical imbalances do exist. In thepast scholars would talk about a man who is always sad and greatly depressed.Even modern day books of depression and pyschology do talk about situational depression. Thisis normal! Situational depression means being depressed if something sad happens to us. Thereare going to be times in your life where you feel depressed and sad. We as humans have atendency to always blame external factors in extremes - self hatred to everything around you;seher, envy etc. Life is such, it will make you sad sometimes. This is not clinical depression.Unfortunately as Muslims we like to blame others if the smallest calamity happens in our daily life.If I am depressed it must be black magic, while these things do exist they are completelyoverplayed nowadays. As Ibn Taymiyyah said, most of it is humans taking advantage of otherhumans i.e. charging you so much money to do nothing for you claiming to get rid of your Jinn.The other problem is that the first time we believe in black magic our next question is who did it?

And Allah says: do not have suspicion on people for verily suspicion is sin. But we think of peopleclose to us. Allah did not create an environment of paranoia and this is not encouraged in Islam.But again we like to blame external circumstances rather then internal failure.The Prophet (s) as narrated in Sahih Bokhari, Abu Dawud (more comprehensive narration),

actually prescribed to a woman an anti-depressant, "Talbina" a word from Milk in Arabic - itlitereally means boiled barley - which is to take barley and boil it in a pot until the water has awhite color to it. The Prophet (s) said it is good for the heart and does away with your grief.Sh Hatem Al Hajj did a study on boiled barley and found that the 3 leading brands of anti-depressant medications used boiled Barley because it normalizes serotonin! This research canbe found on his website. He showed that the chemicals added to the drugs are actually theharmful substances that increase dependence.This does not mean that we stop the remembrance of Allah, reading the Qur'an etc and indeedboiley Barley has much positives. Market drugs are good but again they haev chemicals in them


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which increase dependence. Modern day herbals have much good and should be stronglyconsidered, the Prophet recommended such.

CERTAINTY

Confidence in the way you approach reality, meaning you always believe that there is a greaterpurpose that things are happening for a good reason. Something bad or good happens you areok because you conclude you don't even know what is good and bad anymore. Ummar binKhattab said when I wake up I dont concern myself with good versus bad, Allah knows best and Idont even know anymore and dont know at the moment.

As the Prophet (s) said, how amazing is the affair of the believer, if something good happens hethanks Allah and is happy, and it is better for him (i.e. in the Hereafter too) and if something badhappens he is patient and that is better for him (i.e. in the Hereafter too).This certainty allows you to face life with this disposition and perspective thus!There is no calamity if there is certainty. In our deen there are no calamities if there arecertainties. If there is certainty in Allah, His Word, His Promise, Jannah, protection from Hellfire,and if everything in this world is used as a means of elevation of Jannah, and if a person has thiscertainty they will never ever be depressed. The famous example of Ibn Taymiyyah; whenever his

enemies wanted to punish him he laughed at them, he said what can you do to me? If you kill meI am shaheed, if you lock me up it is a chance for khalwa i.e. being alone with Allah, if you deportme it is tourism to contemplate the signs of Allah, my garden is in my heart! This is obviously ahigh level of certainty, but a person who can face life with that always sees things as good andnever as absolutely evil.Theodacy or the questioning of Why, why does suffering happen? Why do bad things happen togood people? etc etc causes many people to lose faith!This concept that why do good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people is afundamental problem of every single faith. Because of our consumer mentality we approachreligion the same way, we pick apart our religion because it does not give me what I want rightnow. What can Islam do for me right now? I do not want paradise, tawakkul, patience etc. This iswith a mentality of consumerism. The only time we supplicate is when we want something in thisworld. Often Allah does not give you what you are asking for is because it is like feeding yourdrug addiction. Allah wants to break your addiction first then give you.The first answer to theodacy is self-accountability, the famous quote: I wanted to ask God whythings happen and I was afraid He'd ask me the same thing,Secondly there is no fairness and balance from such a person in attributing good versus bad toGod. Something good and this person attributes it to themselves and if bad they question ask

Allah why such? An imbalanced perspective of God causes you to have a very negative reaction.

As the Prophet (s) said the believer is not faced with any form of hardship, not even the prick ofthorn, except that Allah expiates his sin. Your eyes are constantly on the goal and so a personcan progress and come to terms with what bothers people.The believer comes to terms with many things including:1. Why does Allah allow certain things to happenFirstly if you draw a circle for yourself this circle is the legislated will of Allah, meaning Allahcommands us to do certain things (good deeds, fast, enjoin good forbid evil, treat people with

justice, obedience, prayer, Hajj etc) and then draw a bigger circle around the the original, this isthe universal will of Allah, meaning the Knowledge and Will of Allah, and that everything happenswith His knowledge and His wisdom. (27:32) Allah allows it to happen even though he did notcommand it - meaning you choose to be unjust, hurtful, sinful - and Allah allowed it though he didnot like it, you did it because of your own sins. Allah if He allows such allows it for the greaterpurpose and for overall good, even if it may be temporarily or may appear to be evil. Scholarsthus say that nothing that Allah allows does not have more good then evil. Even Shaytaan has awisdom, would we be as strong in our belief had it not been for Shaytaan? No, so even in hisexistence is benefit. Thus there is no such thing as absolute evil Islamically. When we call upon


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Allah thus, whenever bad things happen it is when Allah leaves us to ourselves because weneglect His commands and what He tells us to do is what bring a just and harmonious society.The pious would say oh Allah dont leave us to ourselves, protect us from ourselves.

A sister in chicago with an Autistic child, and she is incredibly compassionate to her child, formingan organization to help autistic children. When people meet her they are always sad for her butshe always smiles, and she says this is my gift, i would not be compassionate without her! Thiscertainty is confidence. Instead of the question "Why?", she asks "What can I do Oh Allah?"

Can du'a change Qadar? Yes, the Prophet (s) said such, however sometimes Allah answers youwith an answer you do not want to hear. There must be certainty in your du'as. Sometimes Allahsays No because it isnt good for you. Certainty in the Hereafter shows itself in our attitude, whenyou supplicate three things happen: 1) Either Allah answers it the way you want, or 2) He avertsan equal evil, or 3) He leaves it for the Hereafter. Thus I must be confident Allah did not give it tome because it was not good for me and i would hope He has something better for me in theHereafter. The Prophet (s) said that when we see the reward of the good in the Hereafter of ourdu'as we would wish none of our supplications were answered in this world. SubhanAllah. This isconfidence in the way you approach reality, this is certainty.

And as for trials and hardships that lead to depression and misery, a beautiful saying from Ibn-alJawziyyah: Sometimes Allah allows you to break so He can put you togetherSh Omar narrates that his most difficult hardship was his most greatest spiritual turning pointThe comfort that Allah gives you as a result of that hardship is so great that you would never lookback after receiving it in this world and in the Hereafter. You will never wish ease in your hardship.For this may have been the reason you turned back to Allah and had that comfort offered to youby Him. The Prophet (s) said, no sadness, no hardship, not even a prick of the thorn harms thebeliever except that Allah takes away some sins as a result. When the comfort of the one who iscausing you comfort is greater then the hardship of the one causing you hardship you do not wantto change things.

Levels of Trust.The 3 levels of trust from Ibn-al Qayyum:Level 1The way that a person would trust his agent orWakeel.And Allah isAl-Wakeel, He gave theexample, if you were to leave your land and appoint someone to watch your land you would haveto have a certain level of trust in that person. At this level of trust, the minute something appearsto be wrong or different, you develop suspicion in them.Some people trust Allah this way, the minute things go a little different then what you want, youbegin to ask the question Why?. The suspicion developed is so bad they may not have trusted

Allah in the first place. You make Allah your scape goat? You blame Him for everything.Sh Omar narrates that he was sitting with a group of 27 clergy and they were listening to a griefcounselor tell them about how to deal with grief and sadness in community members. She saidthe problem with preachers is that they dont teach people that its ok to be mad at God. Otherclergy agreed with this woman but this is not how we think in Islam, we absolutely do not blameGod for our issues.

Level 2To trust Allah the way the child trusts its mother. The mother's love for the child is the greatest

form of love, He calls himself Ar-Rahman and Ar-Raheem from Rahm meaning motherly love.The Prophet (s) teaches us of a woman who found her child running between people in battle,and she found him and held him tight, and he asked the people you think that woman would everthrow her son in Hellfire? No, Allah loves him more.Ihsan is to worship Allah with confidence, as if you can see HIm. Likewise even when the childcan not see the baby knows when the mum is in the room and when he is not in the room. In anexperiment in parent relations with the baby, if the father were to inflict harm on the child, the childwould run to the mum but when the mum causes distress the child would run back to the mum.The child does not run to anyone else because they know that the one that loves them the most


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is the mother.The Prophet (s) taught us to ask Allah, oh Allah, I seek refuge in Your pleasure from Yourdispleasure, I seek refuge in Your pardon from Your punishment, and i seek refuge in You fromYou, there is no escape from You except You.

Level 3

To trust Allah the way that a dead body trusts it's washer.The washer will turn you and you will have no say. It is complete submission. Ibn-al Qayyum saidabout the Prophet that this certainty did not stop him from calling upon Allah.Allah did not give usdu'a because he could not give us without us asking, rather he gave us supplication for a greatercause so we can get acquainted with calling upon Him.The greatest representation of this is the Prophet (s) at the battle of Badr, the day of the battle heis raising his hands to the sky crying oh Allah give me what you promised, if you allow this peopleto be killed you wont be worshipped on the face of this Earth. This incident alone may tell you thatthe Prophet maybe lost some confidence, but the day before this the Prophet was walking withthe companions and pointed to a ditch, and pointed where all the enemies were going to die. Andthey did die at their designated spots, there were 3 different narrations from 3 differentcompanions that all said that they all died exactly where the Prophet (s) said they would.The Prophet (s) never lost confidence and this is the affair of the believer. The believer calls upon

Allah with love and desperation, invoking His Mercy. He proceeds with du'a because he knowsAllah loves to hear his voice, and the gift of du'a in itself i.e. the ability to make du'a is greaterthen what you are asking for. Again, your nobility and honor have been preserved.

PATIENCE

The greatest degree of patience is when you seek the reward of your patience, literally taking thatpatience and scoring good deeds from Allah in saying, oh Allah I am doing so because I wantyour reward. This is called Ihtisaab.The Prophet (s) saidpatience is victory. If someone tries to harm you, your patience will alwaysbe victory. A man walked into the masjid and told Imam Shafi that he was a hypocrite and faasik.How did Imam Shafi reply? He made du'a; oh Allah if he is right in what he is saying forgive me

and have mercy on me and accept my repentance, and if he is other then that than forgive himand have mercy on him and accept his repentance. What a beautiful example of patience andvictory by Imam Shafi.If you are a good person you will be taken advantage of often and you are sometimes not goingto be able to exact complete justice. Even if you do it may not be fulfilling, justice in this world isntalways fulfilling. So being able to say you will let go for the sake of Allah is victory.Ibn-al Qayyum said, when your enemy shoots arrows at you and he misses you he suffers twolosses, he missed you and he wasted arrows.Practicing Ihtisaab with everything that happens is an important quality of the believer. TheProphet (s) taught us to tell others upon their hardship, to Allah belongs all that He has taken andgiven, and Allah has everything with its prescribed term and be patient and seek the reward ofyour patience.On the major level the greatest example of ihtisaab is Aasiyah, a woman who the Prophet (s) saidabout that she has perfect emaan. The Prophet said 4 women in history have perfect faith 1.Maryam, 2. Asiya 3. Khadija and 4. Fatimah. It was with the will of Allah that this particular womanwith perfect faith, Aasiyah, is married to Firoun, the worst person on the face of this Earth. Sheherself saw the hairdresser and her kids being put in a boiling couldren by Firoun, and she thencame and told Firoun I disbelief in you and I believe in the Lord of my previous Prophets, and I donot care what you do to me. Firoun takes Aasiyah and ties her in the middle of the dessert, hasher lashed, whipped, dehydrated and she is laughing and looking into the skies, why? Theincrease of her emaan! Allah shaded her with the angels, the Prophet (s) similarly said the peopleof Asham are shaded in that they can bear much hardship. She looked up and what du'a did shemake? Oh Allah build for me with You (replace companionship with Firoun to with you) and


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replace a palace in this world with a palace in Paradise. Allah took her soul before she was evenkilled. SubhanAllah, why did she ask this? This is ihtisaab. Anything in duniya is going to go awayanyway.

And an example of seeking Ihtisaab at the smaller levels; Abdullah bin Masud was walking in themarketplace while this someone stole his money, and people were enraged that this couldhappen to a great scholar. They wanted to find and punish the culprit but Ibn Masud told them tostop and he made du'a, oh Allah, if he was poor then bless him with what he has taken from me,and if he was not poor replace for me with something better. He automatically thought how can Iuse this situation to seek from Allah.Saad bin Abi Waqqas (ra) is another example of practising Ihtisaab. The Prophet (s) made du'athat Allah answer Saad's du'a for anything he asks for. Saad was promised Paradise many times,and his du'a was always answered. There are many incidents narrated where people wereactually afraid of his du'a. But Saad went blind at the end of his life and people thought he'd justmake du'a to cure his condition. They asked him why he didn't ask Allah to cure his blindness,and he said, Wallahi I am ashamed to even ask Allah to cure my blindness. I am going to bepatient and seek reward instead. the Prophet (s) said nothing he does before or after today (theday he was promised Paradise) would hurt him but still he sought ihtisaab in his hardships. Thiswas the generation of the righteous, they always looked for the greater reward from Allah. Saadalso taught us that patience can not come after gratitude. If you were not grateful when thingswere good, you won't be patient when things are bad.

Sometimes when you ask Allah for good He will give you better in this world and the next. Anexample of this is Umm Salamah who was old, had kids, and was married to Abu Salamah. AbuSalamah died in battle and she thought to herself no one greater then him would ask for her handin marriage and she turned down proposals from Abu Bakr and other honorable Sahabis. Andthen the Prophet (s) asked for her and she could not believe so, and what a beautiful reward! Andso every time the companions were hurt they would use this hurt to seek leverageThe famous story of the woman who came to the Prophet with seizures, she would faint and herhijab would become loose, exposing part of her'awrah. She asked the Prophet (s) to make du'aand cure her. He replied, yes I can and you will be cured or you can be patient and Allah will grantyou paradise. You are assured Paradise if you are patient he said and she agreed, and she onlyasked to not be exposed, and he agreed. She only wanted to please Allah.Likewise in Abu Dawud it is narrated that a man would visit the Prophet (s) often with his son. Hisson would play around the companions and all of a sudden both were not seen anymore. The

Prophet's beautiful character was he wou

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Hardship Comes Ease: Depression In Islam By Sh Omar Suleiman