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Presented at first annual CCSU Department of Sociology Student Conference
Citation preview
HAVING YOUR CAKE AND EATING IT TOO
An Exploration of Cheating in Dating
Presentation Summary
Review of Literature My Studies
Hypotheses Methods Interview Structure Findings (responses)
Conclusions Based on Both
Studies
Influencing Literature
All cheating is not the same, falls in a continuum of infidelitous acts; included cohabitating unions in study Thompson, 1984
Issues of closeness and distance are highly relevant in long-term dating relationships, and can effect relationship quality Feeney, 1999
Lower relationship quality will lead to increased chance of cheating Previti, Amato, 2004
Hypotheses
1. The farther a subject lives from their significant other, the more likely they will cheat (Feeney, 1999)
2. The less time spent with their significant other, the more likely it is the subject will cheat (Feeney, 1999)
3. Cheating will have a negative effect on the relationship (Previti, Amato, 2004)
Other Data Collected• How many people cheating occurred with (Thompson,
1984)• How many times cheating occurred (Thompson, 1984)• Alcohol consumption as a factor
Qualitative Methods
Purposive Sample 3 friends
Ralph, Andrew and Nancy Participants in Survey Project White, middle-class, 20-21 years old, juniors at
C.C.S.U. Cheating was not defined to the subjects, they
developed their own notion of cheating based on their own beliefs and experiences
This definition varied for each subject
Structure of Interview Questions
Findings
57% (12) of all survey participants cheated p=21
9 male, 12 female 66% (6) males cheated 50% (6) females cheated
Cheating = sexual activity (passionate kissing, oral sex, and sexual intercourse) with someone other than your significant other
Prior research 45% males 42% females(subjects married or in cohabitating unions;
extramarital relationships ranged from purely physical, purely emotional, or both physical and emotional) (Thompson, 1984)
Findings
Similarities in all interview subjects relationship to significant other Significant other at time of interview was first
committed relationship Dated significant other for at least 3 years prior to
interview Long-distance relationships
Similarities in all interview subjects extra-relational affairs Friends with extra-relational other prior to cheating No previous sign of mutual attraction Incidents were unplanned, spontaneous
Findings
Alcohol use and intoxication as a factor All 3 interview subjects reported being drunk
at the time of their first incident of cheating“I was passed out and he woke me up
and then it happened. I don’t remember exactly, but he woke me up and we kissed and I told him I didn’t want to do it and he said ‘C’mon Nancy, I have wanted to do this for so long. Let’s just fuck.’ And I told him no, but we kept kissing and then I stopped it.”
Survey Results: 66% (8) of survey respondents that had
cheated reported being intoxicated during an incident; split evenly between males (4) and females (4)
Findings
Relationship problems: Long-distance issues (Feeney, 1999) Low relationship quality (Previti, Amatos
2004)
“What the relationship was, we were talking on the phone all the time. When I started having fun here I didn’t want to have a ‘scheduled’ relationship. I was always doing something . I didn’t have extra time to talk on the phone for three hours a day.”
Findings
Emotional attraction to extra-relational other Ambivalence to wrongdoing (Lawson, Samson
1988)
“It didn’t phase me, I didn’t care. She was here, I liked her more, she was more attractive, definitely easier to talk to. I’d say a nicer person in general.”
“I wasn't’ that pissed off, I’d made out with other girls before but I didn’t consider that cheating. I know Lin [s/o] wouldn’t like it, and those times I got kind of pissed off at myself, but with Meg [e/r/o] it didn’t bother me. We had hung out a lot and were in the same type of relationship, the same bullshit you know? We could relate to each other.”
Findings
No interview subjects left their significant other for the extra-relational other Despite relationship problems, a deeper emotional
attachment was described to the significant other (Thompson, 1984)
No interview subjects informed their significant other of cheating on them In all 3 cases, in order to keep from hurting the
significant other, and to preserve the relationship
“I should have told him, but I’m too afraid.”
“I’d feel bad, I know it would hurt her.”
Findings
Effect of cheating on relationship status with significant other reported by interview subjects: Negligible Contradicts prior research (Previti, Amato, 2004) Significant others were kept unaware of
wrongdoing Any changes were attributed to maturing of the
relationship by subjects Survey Results:
Findings
Negative affect on prior relationship with extra-relational other Hiatus in communication between interview
subjects and extra-relational other 2 cases of attempts made to repair the
relationship with extra-relational other Both resulted in another incident of cheating
Survey Results: Female respondents cheated at a ratio of
1:1 Male respondents cheated at a ratio of 2:1
Findings
Responses to “Why did you cheat” “I was drunk.”“I’m young.”
“I was curious.”“The opportunity presented itself.”
“Because I’m a scumbag.”Only 3 of 12 survey subjects responses
showed any remorse, guilt or shame
Conclusions
1. Rates of cheating did increase in long distance relationships (Feeney, 1999)
2. Direct correlation between the amount of time one spends with their significant other and incidences of cheating (Feeney, 1999)
3. Cheating had a negative effect on the relationship
1. Partial support
Intoxication increases chances of participating in extra-relational sexual behavior
Reaction
Intriguing look deep into subjects personal lives Research was largely exploratory
Difficult to make recommendations on how to avoid cheating with any effectiveness
Continued research: Expanded interview sample size to 7 participants Expanded interview questionnaire to include other
incidents of cheating in multiple relationships Expanded review of literature to include links to
other social phenomena associated with infidelitous behavior
References
Betzig, L. (1989). Causes of conjugal dissolution: a cross-cultural study. Current Anthropology, 4, 410-413.
Burns, A. (1999). Power between women: the constructed otherness of ‘other women.’ Feminism & Psychology, 4: 410-413
Feeney, J. A. (1999). Issues of closeness and distance in dating relationships: effects of sex and attachment style. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 16, 571-590
Galliher, R. V.; Welsh D. P.; Rostosky, S. S.; Kawaguchi, M. C. (2004). Interaction and relationship quality in late adolescent romantic couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 203-216
Lawson, A; Samson, C. (1988). “Age, gender and adultery. The British Journal of Sociology, 39, 409-440
O’Farrell, K. J.; Rosenthal, E. N.; O’Neil, E. C. (2003). Relationship satisfaction and responsiveness to nonmates’ flirtation: testing and evolutionary explanation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20, 663-674
Previti, D.; Amato, P. R. (2004). Is infidelity a cause or a consequence of poor marital quality? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 217-230
Sacher, J. A.; Fine, M. A. (1996). Predicting relationship status and satisfaction after six months among dating couples. Journal of Marriage and Family, 58, 21-32
Saunder, J.; Miller, E. (1984). Extramarital sexuality: a predictive model of permissive attitudes. Journal of Marriage and Family, 46, 825-835
Thompson, A. P. (1984). Emotional and sexual components of extramarital relations. Joural of Marriage and Family, 46, 35-42