Help Your Child Grow Self-Esteem

8/7/2019 Help Your Child Grow Self-Esteem

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Help Your Child Grow Self-Esteem.

Membantu anak dalam menumbuhkan harga diri yang positif

Helping your child grow up with strong self-esteem is the most important task of parenthood. As a

parent, you are the primary influence on how your child feels about herself--her self-esteem. You area mirror of who she is. And you want your child to feel valuable, to have strong self-esteem

Membantu anak menumbuhkan harga diri yang positif adalah tugas pengasuhan yang paling penting.

Sebagai orang tua, ayah dan ibu adalah pengaruh yang utama bagi anak dalam menumbuhkan

perasaan tentang diri sendiri (harga diri positif). Orang tua adalah cermin bagi anak. Dan orang tua

manapun pasti menginginkan anaknya merasa bahwa dirinya berharga, memiliki harga diri yang kuat.

Kids with high self-esteem have an easier time in life.

Anak-anak dengan harga diri yang tinggi menjalani hidup dengan lebih mudah.

Providing a positive reflection doesn't mean you allow your child to run the family or approve of

everything he/she does. It does mean that you that build positive self-esteem.

Memberikan refleksi positif bukan berarti orang tua mengijinkan anak untuk mengatur keluarga atau

menyetujui segala hal yang dilakukan anak. Memberikan refleksi positif berarti membangun harga

diri yang positif

Listening to your child builds self-esteem.

Mendengarkan anak dapat membangun harga dirinya secara positif.

Choose a time when you can give your child your full attention with a minimum of distractions. Inviteyour child to talk by asking some open-ended questions that can't be answered by "yes" or "no." Then

follow his lead. When you can not take the time to listen to your child, she feels unimportant, boring,

not good enough. Low self-esteem follows.

Pilih waktu dimana anda dapat memberikan perhatian penuh dengan gangguan seminimal mungkin.

Ajak anak untuk bicara dengan menanyakan beberapa pertanyaan terbuka yang tidak dapat dijawab

dengan sekedar mengatakan “ya” atau “tidak”. Kemudian ikuti arah pembicaraannya. Saat anda tidak

memiliki waktu untuk mendengarkan anak anda, mereka akan merasa tidak penting, bosan dan merasa

tidak cukup baik.

Active listening builds self-esteem.

Mendengarkan aktif membangun keberhargaan diri.

Look at your child, ask questions, and paraphrase statements. Remember to look with your eyes.

(See Talk .) Pay attention to feelings, posture, and your tone of voice.

Tataplah anak anda, ajukan pertanyaan dan uraikan pernyataannya dengan kata-kata anada. Berikan

perhatian pada perasaan, postur dan nada suara anda dalam berbicara.

If necessary, help a young child find words to describe his/her feelings.

Jika perlu, bantu anak yang lebih muda untuk menjelaskan perasaannya dengan kata-kata yang ia

belum tahu.

http://www.cyberparent.com/talk/listen.htm





Don't distract yourself with details. Just listen for the point of the story and give feedback to the point.

Jangan menyibukkan diri anda dengan detail cerita. Dengarkanlah inti cerita dan berikan umpan balik

pada hal tersebut.

Don't try to fix things. Children usually want to share an experience, not hear a solution. Learning tosolve their own problems builds self-esteem, too.

Jangan mencoba untuk memperbaiki kesalahan anak. Mereka biasanya hanya ingin berbagi

pengalaman, bukan mendengarkan nasihat-nasihat panjang. Membiarkan anak menyelesaikan

permasalahannya sendiri juga dapat membantu mereka dalam meningkatkan harga dirinya yang

positif.

Accepting your child builds self-esteem.

Menerima anak apa adanya membangun harga diri mereka.

When you accept all of your child, the good and the bad, your child can accept him/herself. This is the

foundation of self-esteem. Train yourself to:

• Recognize his/her unique abilities and talents.

• Reinforce, nurture, and help the child see these talents.

• See negative behavior in the context of who your child is.

Saat anda menerima anak anda apa adanya, segala baik dan buruknya, anak anda dapat menerima

dirinya sendiri. Inilah pondasi harga diri yang positif. Latih diri anda sendiri untuk:

- Mengenali segala kemampuan dan bakat anak yang unik

- Beri dukungan, pelihara dan bantu anak untuk melihat bakat mereka- Lihatlah perilaku negatif anak dalam konteks siapa anak anda.

Focus only on changing behavior that is important to change, i.e. behavior that isolates or harms

him/her or disrupts the family. You don't need and should not want to change everything about your

child to fit your "specs." Again, your job is to make your child feel valuable and build self-esteem.

Fokuslah hanya pada tingkah laku anak yang perlu diubah, contohnya perilaku yang akan menyakiti

diri sendiri dan mengganggu keluarga. Anda tidak perlu dan sebaiknya tidak berkeinginan mengubah

semua yang ada di diri anak untuk menyesuaikan dengan kriteria anda. Sekali lagi, tugas anda adalah

membuat anak merasa dihargai dan membangun harga dirinya.

Use the language of self-esteem.

Gunakan bahasa harga diri.

Describe the behavior without judging the child so that you distinguish between the child's worth and

his/her behavior. Describing behavior gives him/her accurate feedback about actions and how actions

affect the child and others. By not labeling a child as good or bad, you separate appraisals of behavior

from basic value or worth.

Gambarkan perilaku anak tanpa memberikan penilaian pada anak sehingga anda dapat membedakan

antara nilai dan perilaku. Gambarkan umpan balik ynag akurat tentang perbuatan anak dan dan

bagaimana perbuatannya memengaruhi dirinya dan orang lain. Dengan tidak memberikan label padaanak, anda memisahlan antara pujian atas perbuatan anak dengan nilai-nilai dasar yang harus dimiliki.



Share the reasons behind your reactions. It is easier for children to meet expectations and/or avoid

conflict when they understand why you react they way you do.Validate your child's experience so that

he/she feels seen and understood as a worthy person even when behavior is being corrected.

Berikan alasan dari setiap reaksi yang anda berikan pada anak. Itu dapat membantu anak untuk

memenuhi harapan atau menghidari konflik saat mereka memahami alasan dibalik reaksi anda.Validasi tingkah laku anak anda agar ia merasa diperhatikan dan dipahami sebagai seorang yang

berharga walaupun anda mengoreksi tingkah laku mereka.

Praise without overpraising to build self-esteem.

Pujian yang tidak berlebihan dapat membangun harga diri mereka.

Praise is what gives children the message that they are accepted and appreciated. They learn to praise

themselves and recognize and value their own efforts and talents. On the other hand, overpraise

creates pressure to be the "smartest, best, most wonderful kid ever," a set-up for eventual failure.

Pujian adalah sesuatu yang memberikan pesan pada anak bahwa mereka diterima dan dihargai.Merela belajar untuk memuji diri mereka sendiri dan mengenali dan menghargai usaha dan bakat

mereka. Sebaliknya, pujian yang berlebihan menciptakan tekanan bagi anak untuk menjadi “yang

terpintar, terbaik, terhebat”, sebuah dasar kegagalan.

Avoid backhanded praise. This mixes praise and insult.

Hindari pujian yang tidak jelas, pujian yang mencampurkan antara pujian dan penghinaan.

Say, "I'm glad you got it done," instead of, "It's about time."

Try, "You look good in blue," instead of, "I'm glad you are wearing something besides all that black you and your friends like."

Discipline and set limits to build self-esteem.

Children who are not disciplined can not grow up with high self-esteem. They tend to feel more

dependent and also feel that they have less control over their world.

Children will run into disapproval and cruelties in the world. They need the physical and emotional

protection of rules and limits to grow self-esteem.

When you give your child acceptance and he/she can see you really see, value, and appreciate

him/her, you have provided armor against drugs, unhealthy relationships, and delinquency.

The more you praise your child, the more self esteem your child will have. This is correct, isn't it?

Not necessarily. Kids have a way of knowing if they have truly earned your acclaim or if you are

manipulating them.

Moreover, children can even be confused by excessive praise.

Example: you call your son a "genius." He thinks:



• "Does anyone else feel that way about me?"

• "It's too much work to be a genius."

• "She knows I'm not a genius."

Example: your unrealistic praise is way out of line. Your child knows he is not that good. He

wonders what you want or discounts much of your praise as being ridiculous.

Example: to cheer your daughter on, you don't mention the difficulties (or much of the truth) about

her performance in soccer. She does not make the team and is crushed out of proportion primarily

because you told her there was nothing to making the team.

If you want to be accurate as well as being complimentary, practice these steps:

1. Explain that your child has done well and can do even better next time.

2. Don't answer a statement of dissatisfaction with praise. Instead, acknowledge the feelings shown

and help your child plan for a better performance next time.

Remember that the best praise for your children is praising their own judgement.

Of course, that can't always happen. Sometimes their judgment, or society's judgment as mirrored in

their eyes, is not the best action or accomplishment to praise.

Example: your six-year-old daughter spends much too much time in front of a mirror. She's cute. You

know it and she knows it. However, the mirror needs a rest and your daughter certainly needs to know

there is more to life than appearance. Yet your daughter and all children need to know their looks are

acceptable.

So what do you say when you find your daughter staring away at her reflection?

Try saying, "You look nice today, Letha, but I am really proud of your gymnastics (drawing, etc.) this

morning. How did you do that so well?"

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Help Your Child Grow Self-Esteem