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Home is where the heart is—stories of love, loss, finding and belonging.
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NEWCOMER IRENE OGBOMIDA
THE INTERLOVEPROJECT
REMNANTS OF WAR
TRAILING SPOUSES
HIKING THE WET COASTJANUARY 2016
a language & cul ture quar terly for newcomers to Canada
plus EXCERPTS FROM THE WILD IN YOU BY LORNA CROZIER & IAN MCALLISTER
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IN THIS ISSUE Volume 3‚ Issue 1
new 7
Victoria welcomes Irene Ogbomida! Irene arrived from Nigeria in 2014 and is
finding a place for herself at Royal Roads University and in the greater community.
learn 20Get yourself ready to hit the trail with
word mentor and trail guide Ryan LeBlanc of The Natural Connection.
money 22Leat Ahrony introduces credit score
repor ts and tips for maintaining good financial health.
rent 23Alex Creighton of Devon Proper ties shares
the Top 3 Problems for landlords and tenants and how best to solve them.
read 24Governor General ’s Award-winning poet
Lorna Crozier and photographer Ian McAllister share their collection of poems
and images from T he Wild in You.
home 26Kedsanee Broome opens up about her
feelings of loss‚ guilt ‚ and doubt when a family member falls seriously ill back in
her home country of Thailand.
REMNANTS OF WAR by Fiona Bramble 12
TRAILING SPOUSES by Susan Johnston Taylor 17
8COLIN BOYD SHAFER’S INSPIRING NEW PROJECT
M any of us came from somewhere else. Some of us arrived 100 years ago; some of us 100 days ago.
Now we are here—working‚ l iving‚ and learning together. We may have arrived in dif ferent ways and may have come for dif ferent reasons; we may be going down dif ferent paths , but one thing is the same: here is home.
www.heremagazine.ca
Publisher | Functionall Books
Editor | Fiona Bramble
Copy Editor | Warren Layberry‚ Christy Sebelius
Contributing Writers | Annie Wu‚ Erin Renwick‚ Leat Ahrony‚ Kedsanee Broome‚ Alex Creighton‚ Hyeyoung Jeon‚ Renée Layberry‚ Susan Johnston Taylor
Illustrators and Designers | Josephine Aucoin‚ April Caverhill
Design and Layout | Fiona Bramble
Print and Production | Glenmore Printing
Get Here! Magazine for your home or organization:
Advertise in Here! Magazine:
Here! Magazine 160 Eberts St.‚ Victoria‚ B.C. Canada V8S 3H7
250-896-0986 /heremagazinecanada
@heremagazineCA /heremagazine.ca
All contents copyrighted. Written permission from the publisher is required to reproduce‚ quote‚ reprint‚ or copy any material from Here! Magazine. Ideas and opinions expressed in the articles do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher or advertisers. The publisher neither endorses nor assumes any liability for the contents of any advertisement in this publication.
Full subscription price for one year is $18.99 plus applicable taxes.
HERE! IS THERE: OUT AND ABOUT IN THE COMMUNITY
From top lef t ‚ clockwise: Hari ‚ new Canadian ‚ with his Cit izenship Cer t i f icate ‚ at the Special Cit izenship Ceremony at the Royal B.C . Museum ‚ Oc tober 2015 ; Canadians - to -be taking the Oath of Cit izenship at the Special Cit izenship Ceremony at the Royal B.C . Museum ‚ Oc tober 2015 ; the winners ’ circle at the Bri t ish Columbia Mult icul tural Awards ‚ November 25 ‚ 2015 ‚ at the Fairmont Hotel Vancouver (The Royal B.C . Museum won the award for “Mult icul tural Excellence in Government ” ) ; Yi ‚ Viv ian ‚ and Lix ian ‚ newcomer par t icipants at Here! Magazine ’s community focus group event on October 10 ‚ 2015 ‚ hosted by the Greater Vic toria Public Library‚ co - sponsored by Thri f t y Foods ; Here! Magazine ’s Hyeyoung Jeon is learning how to wear a hi jab at the Masjid Al - Iman open house on November 29‚ 2015.
Building your own belonging
Each year‚ in a large room tucked away down
a hallway at the Royal B.C. Museum‚ fifty new
Canadians-to-be gather around tables with
other community members and organizers to
share their deeply personal experiences along
the road to citizenship. Each time I have the
honour of facilitating a table‚ I get goosebumps.
It ’s not just the diversity represented that makes
the magic in the room—my last table hosted
immigrants from Croatia‚ England‚ Australia‚ India‚ and Mauritius (yes‚ I needed to look
it up) and included engineers‚ homemakers‚ educators‚ and entrepreneurs—but also the
common experience shared by our newest
citizens: a sincere‚ dedicated effort to build
their own belonging.
These new Canadians didn’ t expect or wait
for their neighbours and community to make a
place for them (although each person insisted
Canadians were very welcoming!). They did the
hard work of integration by reaching out.
They joined play
groups and sports
teams and sought out activities and hobbies
similar to those they did in their home countries; they got involved; they volunteered. Almost
every participant agreed that volunteering
had helped them create a strong sense of
connection to their community.
As I write this‚ CBC Radio is hosting a
discussion about refugee support and‚ in
particular‚ how listeners feel about settling
refugees from Syria here in British Columbia in
the upcoming months. This is a remarkable time
for Canada‚ and it seems‚ for the most part‚
that Canadians are mobilizing in every way
they can to help welcome and support these
displaced individuals and families. This gives
me goosebumps too. I hope together we can
help them begin the process of building their
own belonging in their new home.
This late-winter issue is about love‚ loss‚ finding‚ and belonging—and that sometimes
your heart finds a home in an unexpected
place. I won’ t give it all away here but will let
you discover the magic for yourself. Best wishes
for 2016 from the Here! team.
Letter from the editor
Fiona Bramble, EditorSecond-generation Irish-Scottish Canadian
Here! Magazine is now a not - for -profi t organizat ion ‚ and we hosted our f irs t focus group in late 2015. We were lucky enough to have our own special group of newcomers join us and share some of their ideas for a bet ter Here! Magazine. Hopefully‚ you ’l l not ice some of the posit ive changes inspired by this focus group. Remember‚ we always welcome your feedback too‚ so please reach out to us!
“Our enviable, inclus ive society d idn’ t happen by accident and won’ t continue without effort.” —Pr ime Minis ter Jus t in Trudeau
Vic tor ia and Vancouver I s land Greek Communi t y Socie t y 4648 E lk Lake Dr. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
Victoria Filipino-Canadian Caregivers Association Bayanihan Communi t y Cent re 1709 B lanshard S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C.
Ukrainian Canadian Cul tural Socie t y of Vancouver I s land 3277 Douglas S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
OUR MULTICULTURAL COMMUNITYVic tor ia has a v ibrant and growing mul t icu l tural communi t y ! These organizat ions celebrate cul ture and
divers i t y wi th annual events l ike the Dragon Parade ‚ F lamenco Fes t ival ‚ Greek fes t ‚ Fes t ival Mexicano ‚
India Mela ‚ Loy Kratong ‚ A fr iCa Fes t ‚ and the Highland Games and Cel t ic Fes t ival . They also of fer
suppor t and ser v ices to their members and newcomers ‚ inc luding language suppor t ‚ heal th and
wel lness ac t iv i t ies ‚ network ing oppor tuni t ies ‚ and work- re lated sk i l l development .
Please contac t us at communi t [email protected] i f you need to update your organizat ion ’s in format ion or i f you would l ike to highl ight your organizat ion or event in Here! Magazine.
Vic tor ia Canada-China Fr iendship Associat ion Facebook: V ic tor ia Canada-China Fr iendsh ip A s socia t ion
V ic tor ia Highland Games A ssocia t ion 555 Lampson S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
Whi te Eagle Pol ish A ssocia t ion 90 Dock S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
Hungar ian Socie t y of V ic tor ia 476 Bay S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C . 250 -388 -5004
V ic tor ia Nat ive Fr iendship Cent re 231 Regina Ave. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C . 250 -384-3211
Vic tor ia Fi l ipino-Canadian Seniors Associat ion Bayanihan Communi t y Cent re 1709 B lanshard S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
Chinese Consol idated Benevolent A ssocia t ion 636 Fisgard S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
Sons of Scot land ‚ 204 Balgownie Web: sonsof scot land.com/about-us/prov inc ia l -loca t ions/204-balgownie
La Socié té f rancophone de V ic tor ia 200 -535 Ya tes S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C . 250 -388 -7350
V ic tor ian Croat ian Communi t y 4081 Gordon Head Rd. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
V ic tor ia Fi l ip ino-Canadian A ssocia t ion Bayanihan Communi t y Cent re 1709 B lanshard S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
Leonardo Da V inci Cent re 195 Bay S t. ‚ V ic tor ia ‚ B .C .
Vic tor ia Korean-Canadian Women’s Association Web: vkcwa.wordpres s .com
India Canada Cul tural A ssocia t ion Facebook: Ind ia Canada Cul tura l A s socia t ion
V ic tor ia A f r ican Car ibbean Cul tural Socie t y Web: vacc socie t y.com
Jewish Federat ion of V ic tor ia and Vancouver I s land 3636 She lbourne S t. ‚ V ic to r ia ‚ B .C .
V ic tor ia Nikkei Cul tural Socie t y Facebook: vnca.ca
Vancouver I s land Thai A ssocia t ion Facebook: Vancouver I s land Thai A s socia t ion
Mex ican Canadian Communi t y A ssocia t ion of V ic tor ia Web: v ic to r iamex icancanadian.org
VICTORIA IMMIGRANT & REFUGEE CENTRE SOCIETY
930 Balmoral Rd. ‚ V ic tor ia ‚ B.C. 250 -388-4728 637 Bay St ., 3 rd Floor, V ic tor ia ‚ B.C. 250 -361-9433
Irene‚ what is your background? I have a undergraduate degree in International Studies and Diplomacy from the University of Benin‚ Benin City‚ Nigeria. Now I am a student at Royal Roads University in their Conflict Analysis and Management Masters program. Diplomacy has a connection with conflict because you have to negotiate and bargain on a diplomatic basis.
Tell me about your family. I am the first-born in my family. I also have two brothers and a sister. One of my brothers is studying at the University of Winnipeg—he travelled there alone from Nigeria at the age of seventeen! My other brother lives in Singapore‚ and my younger sister is still in school in Nigeria‚ but I hope she will come here one day. My mother and father are both still in Nigeria.
Is Irene your birth name? Yes! But actually‚ normally‚ in the African tradition‚ when a first child is born‚ a lot of people come and give names. So‚ your grandma‚ your parents‚ everybody just gives names‚ and because we have such big families you can have‚ like‚ twenty names! My dad gave me my name—he was schooled in France‚ and his best friend in France was named Irene. It means ‘peace’.
What has your experience in Canada been like so far? You know‚ some people say they face things like segregation‚ but my experience has been awesome. I just feel so free here. I have a bunch of good classmates‚ and I feel like I’m really integrated into the system—even my friends say I’ve integrated so fast. My best friend from Nigeria who has also lived here said‚ “Irene‚ do you know that you are just so integrated into this culture. You’re going to the lake! When did you start going to the lake? Did you even go to the lake back in Africa?”
What do you miss most from home? The food! And my family of course. In Canada‚ I don’t really see the family culture. Back in Africa‚ you’re all connected. In
Africa‚ a community is family. For example‚ you are from Langford‚ and everyone living in Langford would be your brother‚ or someone from Goldstream would be family with anyone else from Goldstream. That sense of community doesn’t happen in Canada‚ so I really miss that‚ that feeling of extended family. In Canada‚ family usually just means husband‚ wife‚ and kids.
Is there anything you find strange or funny
about Canadian culture? Well‚ what I personally consider funny is the style of dressing—there are so many different styles of dressing here! But the strangest thing is when you go on a date here‚ you each pay your own bill. That does not happen‚ would never happen‚ in Nigeria. The African man is going to foot all of your bills! But here! I can’t believe it. I told my friends here that this “sharing the bill” culture must be changed!
Victoria welcomes
heremagazine.ca 7
Sitting down with Fiona Bramble on a November afternoon in the Juan De Fuca
Library in Colwood‚ Irene shares her enthusiasm for her new life in Canada.
Read Irene’s full interview at www.heremagazine.ca
welcome to the community
MY DAD GAVE ME MY NAME—HE
WAS SCHOOLED IN FRANCE‚ AND HIS BEST FRIEND IN
FRANCE WAS NAMED IRENE. IT MEANS
‘PEACE ’.
“
IRENEOGBOMIDA
HOMETOWN Benin City, NigeriaLANGUAGESEnglish, Enwan, Yoruba, Benin
a documen tary s e r i e s f r om
COLIN BOYD SHAFER
people with differing beliefs
come together in love
AWARD-WINNING CANADIAN DOCUMENTARY PHOTOGRAPHER AND CREATOR OF COSMOPOLIS TORONTO COLIN BOYD SHAFER BRINGS US HIS LATEST PROJECT
8 heremagazine.ca
Jameel was born in Toronto
to South Asian parents who
had immigrated to Canada
from Tanzania in the mid-1970s.
He was raised in a traditional
Ismaili household where his
family regularly attended
religious services. Jameel
identifies as an Ismaili Muslim
and acknowledges that his
loving and supportive home life
provided the foundation for him
to become the man he is today.
Lauren grew up in Waterloo‚ Ontario. Her parents moved to
Canada from South Africa and
chose a city where they could
integrate with the local culture.
Her family upholds the traditions
of Judaism‚ and she identifies
as a cultural Jew. For Lauren‚ the beauty and meaning of the
Jewish holiday traditions are
what she primarily identifies
with.
THEIR STORY
Almost a decade ago‚ Lauren
and Jameel met while playing on
the same ultimate frisbee team.
They were‚ at that
time‚ both dating
people and had
not really paid
much attention
to each other.
Over the years‚ they would run
into each other at
social events. It
was not until 2010‚ when Jameel was
on his way to live
in Kyrgyzstan and Lauren was off
to volunteer in Africa‚ that they
really connected.
They kept in touch through
group emails that described their
respective travels and overseas
adventures. Over time‚ the group
emails evolved into personal
messages and then Skype
calls. Being able to share the
challenges of living in different
cultures helped them experience
a special type of bonding.
Returning to Toronto after
both spending almost a year
overseas‚ they went on their first
official date. Jameel remembers‚
“Sitting across from each other
over dinner‚ it felt like we had
known each other for ages. We
have been together ever since.”
They have been fortunate to
have the support and love from
both sides of their family and
from friends. “Considering the
divisive state of mainstream
social politics between Jews and
Muslims‚ some are surprised that
we do not embody those same
political divisions and that our
relationship has not faced any
unique challenges that other
married couples do not also
encounter.” As
they now live in
a one bedroom
apartment‚ their
daily struggles
include such issues
as who takes
up more time in
the bathroom
and whose turn
it is to wash the dishes (Lauren
contends that
it is Jameel on both counts).
“While we do acknowledge that
there are differences between
us‚ there are far more relevant
commonalities that provide a
strong foundation upon which we
base our relationship.”
They are often greeted with
surprise and curiosity when
people discover that they are a
Jewish–Muslim couple. “It is not
lost on us how unique our union is.”
Jameel + Lauren
CONSIDERING THE DIVISIVE STATE OF
MAINSTREAM SOCIAL POLITICS BETWEEN
JEWS AND MUSLIMS‚ SOME ARE SURPRISED
THAT WE DO NOT EMBODY THOSE SAME
POLITICAL DIVISIONS...
To read Jameel and Lauren ’s ful l s tor y and to discover how they brought together elements of Indian ‚ Ismail i ‚ and Jewish customs in their wedding ceremony‚ v is i t www.interloveprojec t .com
a documen tary s e r i e s f r om
COLIN BOYD SHAFER
people with differing beliefs
come together in love
“
heremagazine.ca 9
C a t h o l i c A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t B u d d h i s t S i k h I s m a i l i P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u B a h á ' íP r e s b y t e r i a n S u f i B a p t i s t A n g l i c a n P r o t e s t a n t M u s l i m H i n d u S u n n i B a p t i s t M u s l i mAn g l i c a n H i n d u J e w i s h C a t h o l i c P r e s b y t e r i a n A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a nH i n d u S u n n i W i c c a n P r e s b y t e r i a n C a t h o l i c H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t M u s l i m A t h e i s tP r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u P r e s b y t e r i a n S u f i B a p t i s t A n g l i c a n H i n d u S u n n i B a p t i s tM u s l i m A n g l i c a n H i n d u J e w i s h C a t h o l i c P r e s b y t e r i a n A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n tH i n d u S u n n i W i c c a n P r e s b y t e r i a n C a t h o l i c A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a nA n g l i c a n H i n d u P r e s b y t e r i a n S u f i B a p t i s t A n g l i c a n P r o t e s t a n t M u s l i m S u n n i B a p t i s tM u s l i m B u d d h i s t S i k h I s m a i l i P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u B a h á ' í A n g l i c a n H i n d uJ e w i s h C a t h o l i c P r e s b y t e r i a n A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u S u n n i W i c c a n
To read Jameel and Lauren ’s fu l l s to r y and to d iscover how they brought together e lements o f Indian ‚ I smai l i ‚ and Jewish cus toms in the i r wedding ceremony‚ go to in te r lovepro jec t .com
When it comes to the Israe li-Pale st inian
situat ion, we ’ve had some heated debate s.
I think most of our arguments come
from our diffe rent start ing point s: that
not nece ssari ly log ical place where you assume
your people are the only one s coming from
a good place .
“
From top le f t ‚ c lockwise : Eman + Jess ‚ E l van + A l len ‚ James + Mel inda ‚ Av i shka + Sean ‚ Aaron + B r i tRead abou t each un ique un ion a t in te r lovepro jec t .com.10 heremagazine.ca
C a t h o l i c A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t B u d d h i s t S i k h I s m a i l i P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u B a h á ' íP r e s b y t e r i a n S u f i B a p t i s t A n g l i c a n P r o t e s t a n t M u s l i m H i n d u S u n n i B a p t i s t M u s l i mAn g l i c a n H i n d u J e w i s h C a t h o l i c P r e s b y t e r i a n A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a nH i n d u S u n n i W i c c a n P r e s b y t e r i a n C a t h o l i c H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t M u s l i m A t h e i s tP r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u P r e s b y t e r i a n S u f i B a p t i s t A n g l i c a n H i n d u S u n n i B a p t i s tM u s l i m A n g l i c a n H i n d u J e w i s h C a t h o l i c P r e s b y t e r i a n A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n tH i n d u S u n n i W i c c a n P r e s b y t e r i a n C a t h o l i c A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a nA n g l i c a n H i n d u P r e s b y t e r i a n S u f i B a p t i s t A n g l i c a n P r o t e s t a n t M u s l i m S u n n i B a p t i s tM u s l i m B u d d h i s t S i k h I s m a i l i P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u B a h á ' í A n g l i c a n H i n d uJ e w i s h C a t h o l i c P r e s b y t e r i a n A t h e i s t H u m a n i s t P r o t e s t a n t A n g l i c a n H i n d u S u n n i W i c c a n
Inte rfaith love l ike ours i s not without it s chal lenges, but with a st rong core to the re lat ionship, al l the se
chal lenges can be overcome .
INTERLOVE wi l l be exhib i ted a t the Mi les Nadal Jewish Communi t y Cent re in Toronto for the Scot iabank CONTACT photography fes t i va l in May 2016 .
From top le f t ‚ c lockwise : Eman + Jess ‚ E l van + A l len ‚ James + Mel inda ‚ Av i shka + Sean ‚ Aaron + B r i tRead abou t each un ique un ion a t in te r lovepro jec t .com.
“
heremagazine.ca 11
BER
LIN
WA
LL‚
EA
ST
SID
E G
ALL
ER
Y.
BIG
STO
CK
PH
OTO
.CO
M
12 heremagazine.ca
THE SUITCASE had been carefully tucked
away on a basement shelf‚ several long
strings deliberately draped across it to
detect disturbance or unwelcome curiosity.
Ann’s father had hidden the old case
there several years earlier after Ann
had stumbled across it cleaning out the
basement. “Dad!” Ann had said then‚ “Here’s your old suitcase.” Ann knew that
her father had arrived in Canada after
World War II with only a few possessions
in a single suitcase. For Ann‚ here was a
chance to peek into her father ’s past and
possibly glimpse photographs of his family
left long behind in Europe‚ her people
too—family she had never met. Her father‚ Peter‚ had wrenched it from her hands
with lit tle explanation and a sudden‚ raging anger: “Mind your own business!” Peter disappeared with the suitcase and‚ not wanting to upset her father further‚ however strange his reaction‚ Ann put it
out of her mind.
Ann Thomson was born and raised in
Victoria‚ B.C. Along with her younger
sister‚ she grew up in a time seen through
a post-war filter. According to Ann‚ World
War ll was a daily point of reference:
“ the neighbour ’s tree was planted before
‘ the war ’; I had this job during ‘ the
war.’” Everyone had been touched by
the war‚ and almost everyone honoured
an unspoken code to not ask veterans
questions about wartime experiences.
This was particularly true at the Edelweiss
Club‚ where Ann and her family spent
much of their spare time. A social club
still located in Victoria‚ the Edelweiss
Club is a gathering place for all German
Canadians including‚ in Ann’s time‚ veterans tainted
by the Nazi
regime. To have
asked these men
questions about
the war‚ in Ann’s words‚ “would
have been bad
manners‚ rude‚ and hurtful.” “Even now‚” says Ann‚ “ the older ones will
not talk about the war.” Ann also says‚ “ this [unspoken code] is what saved my
dad ’s bacon.”
Ann remembers this time at the
Edelweiss Club as one of dances and
Oktoberfests‚ where she heard “Dad
speak German—often.” Even though they
hadn’ t met or learned anything about
their extended German family in Europe‚ Ann and her sister culturally identified as
German. As children‚ the two sisters would
often choose Germany as the focus for
school projects‚ colouring in many a flag
with stripes of black‚ red‚ and gold.
remnants of war“Remnants of war” is a term most often used to describe the physical and psychological legacy of war. The international community refers to landmines, unexploded shells, grenades, and bombs as “ERW”: explosive remnants of war.
by Fiona Bramble
TO HAVE ASKED THESE MEN
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WAR WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD
MANNERS‚ RUDE‚ AND HURTFUL.
“
heremagazine.ca 13
WHAT WAS INSIDE ANN ’S FATHER ’S OLD SUITCASE WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING ANN HAD EVER KNOWN ABOUT HER OWN LIFE‚ HER FAMILY‚ AND HER CULTURAL IDENTITY.
When Ann’s mother died in 1988‚ Ann and
her husband Steve moved in with her father
into the old family home. Shortly afterwards‚ the personal computer age dawned‚ and the
family found themselves gathered around a
bulky machine‚ wondering what they could do
with this wonderful new technology. Ann saw
it as an opportunity to search for long lost
German relatives in Europe. Ann’s father‚ who
Ann says “was fascinated by any technology”‚ agreed and asked Steve to look for the woman
Ann’s father said was his sister: Anna Maria
Strube. The pre-Google internet of the time‚ not
surprisingly‚ returned nothing on the search.
Who and where Anna was remained a mystery
for many more years.
Ann’s family suffered another loss in 1991‚ when Ann’s sister died suddenly and tragically.
Then‚ in 2004‚ the reserved‚ hard-working
patriarch of the family‚ Peter‚ suffered a stroke.
Andy‚ an old friend of Peter ’s Ann and Steve
had never met‚ came to see him in the hospital‚ along with Peter ’s former doctor‚ Hans. During
the visit‚ Andy unexpectedly proclaimed Peter
to be a “good Bulgarian man”‚ just like him.
Ann thought at the time that Andy was a little
confused because‚ of course‚ her father was
German‚ not Bulgarian. Two weeks later‚ Ann’s tough‚ seemingly invincible father died.
It was Steve who remembered the suitcase.
And what was inside Ann’s father ’s old suitcase
would change everything Ann had ever known
about her own life‚ her family‚ and her cultural
identity.
Ann recalls that when she and Steve opened
the case‚ inside “were all kinds of papers:
military papers and newspapers‚ some of them
in German and some in Cyrillic.” And there were
photos‚ “hundreds of them”‚ including a black
and white photograph of a baby in a carriage‚ on the back of which was written “Maria Zlata‚ 4 months” and another photograph of a small
boy in a field‚ on which was written “Dear
Uncle‚ look how big I am.” There was also a
passport and a christening certificate.
Ann says she “had no idea what [they] were
looking at” and called Hans and Andy to come
over‚ hoping they could help translate some of
the documents. The christening certificate was
Peter ’s and was written in Cyrillic script. The
passport‚ also Peter ’s‚ was Bulgarian. Confused‚ Ann asked Andy and Hans why her father would
have a Bulgarian passport. Andy and Hans
replied with the obvious: “Because he was
Bulgarian.” Ann‚ in shock‚ told the two men that
she had been raised her “whole life” to believe
both her father and her cultural heritage were
German. Ann’s next words were: “Where the
hell is Bulgaria?”
Ann remembers the following two years as
time spent “looking at a big jigsaw puzzle with
ten thousand pieces‚ and every once in a while‚ a piece would just
move into place and
click in.” Ann and
her family started to
ask themselves how
they could not have
known. Ann admits:
“When I look back
now‚ there were cracks everywhere.”
Uncovering Peter’s secret past was complicated
by distance and the passage of time but also by
Bulgaria’s communist legacy.
WHEN I LOOK BACK NOW‚ THERE
WERE CRACKS EVERYWHERE.
“
14 heremagazine.ca
Ann’s early searches
and eventually
even inquiries from
the U.S. Public
Broadcasting Service
(PBS) bumped up
against a suspicious
and secretive
bureaucracy.
The break
came when Hans
connected Ann
and Steve with a
Bulgarian couple
visiting Canada.
The couple agreed
to help Ann in
her search. Ann
gave them copies
of her father’s Bulgarian passport‚ his christening
certificate‚ and some
photographs‚ including those of the baby and the
boy in the field. It was this photo of the boy that
eventually and miraculously led the Bulgarian
couple to Ann’s long lost Bulgarian cousin‚ Mitko‚ now sixty and living in Svilengrad‚ Bulgaria. Ann
was told that there “were many tears” when Mitko
was told about his cousin.
When shown‚ Mitko recognized the picture of
the baby as his uncle Peter’s daughter. However‚ as the conversation continued and dates and
locations were compared‚ it became clear to
Mitko and the Bulgarian couple that they were
talking about different baby girls.
Mitko explained that his uncle Peter had
married Anna Maria Strube in Germany and
they had had a daughter: Maria Zlata. Ann had
not only found her Bulgarian family but had just
discovered her father had had a first family in
Germany. Ann had a half-sister somewhere and‚
hopefully‚ alive.
Over the following
six years‚ Ann
travelled to Bulgaria
and found herself
instantly at home in
a culture she had
never known and
with people that
“looked like [her]”—and her father. But
Ann never gave up
searching for her
half-sister. Then‚ by
chance‚ she saw an
article about the
Canadian Red Cross’ “Restoring Family
Links” program in
a local paper and
immediately made
an appointment at
their Victoria offices.
The Restoring Family Links (RFL) program is
coordinated by the International Committee
of the Red Cross (ICRC) and involves a grass-
roots network of staff and volunteers working
across international borders. Familylinks.icrc.
org describes The Family Links Network as one
that “helps people look for family members when
they have lost contact due to armed conflict or
other situations of violence‚ natural or man-
made disasters‚ or migration as well as in other
situations of humanitarian need.”
Monika Hall-Kowalewski‚ from Victoria’s Red
Cross office‚ admits that Ann’s request was unique‚ particularly as so much time had passed since the
family members had lost contact. Nonetheless‚ Ann’s situation met the program criteria and the
Red Cross team agreed to help her. Ann was
warned that there were no guarantees of success
and that only a single letter would be sent.
heremagazine.ca 15
Ann knows that the
work of the Red Cross is
painstaking‚ thorough‚ and
often dangerous‚ but she just
calls it “magic.” When the
Red Cross letter did arrive at
Ann’s half-sister’s apartment
in Bergkamen‚ Germany‚ many months later‚ it was
mistaken for junk mail and
almost thrown out. But Slatka—
her name spelled slightly
differently than Ann had
thought—had second thoughts
and opened the letter after
all. Three months later‚ the
Red Cross called Ann and
gave her the news she had
dared hope for: “we have
some information for you.”
Ann wasted no time in
contacting Slatka. Slatka
was a single mother with no
other family and was joyfully
overwhelmed by the idea of
a sister. Once reunited‚ Ann
and Slatka began to piece
together their father’s story‚ as challenging as that was
with so many details clouded
by war.
Slatka’s mother‚ Anna‚ a German‚ and Peter had
been recruited as war-time
spies against the Nazis.
During that time‚ they
married and had Slatka.
After the war‚ Peter was
imprisoned in Buchenwald‚ a
notorious Nazi concentration
camp that‚ for several
years after the end of
the war‚ was operated by
the Soviet secret police.
It is also known as Soviet
Special Camp No. 2. The
camp was dissolved shortly
after the establishment‚ in
late 1949‚ of the communist
German Democratic Republic
(GDR)‚ once known as East
Germany. In 1951‚ Peter
Kalojanoff‚ soon to be
Kalonoff‚ arrived in Canada
with a single suitcase.
After being betrayed
to the Communists by a
neighbour‚ Slatka’s mother was
imprisoned for eleven years
in a women-only internment
camp. Slatka was raised by an
aunt in the GDR. By the time
Anna was released‚ Slatka
was married and a mother
herself; her own mother was
a stranger. Anna moved to
West Germany and they never
saw each other again. Slatka’s husband died early in their
marriage‚ and her son passed
away last year.
Ann and Slatka have now
each travelled twice to visit
each other in their respective
countries. Together‚ they
have also travelled to
Bulgaria‚ so Slatka could
finally meet her father ’s side
of the family.
It took Ann seven years
after her father died to
find Slatka‚ and Ann says‚ “ there were so many
miracles behind each
step.” When asked how
she feels about her father
after her discoveries‚ Ann is
emotional: “I always knew
my father was an unselfish
man‚ but I didn’ t realize how
much he gave up to put us
first. He saved his family in
Bulgaria and protected his
wife and child by losing his
own identity. The Communists
would have killed his family
if he had revealed them. He
could never talk about his
childhood‚ his early life. He
could never talk about his
own heritage or share his
heritage with us. I am in awe
of all he gave up.”
From the remnants of her
father ’s war‚ Ann salvaged
something precious: the gift
of family and culture.
Slatka (lef t) and Ann (r ight) in Germany.
PH
OTO
CR
ED
IT: AN
N T
HO
MS
ON
Read excerpts from Ann ’s f irs t let ter to Slatka at www.heremagazine.ca
Information about the Restor ing Family
L inks program and other Red Cross
ser v ices can be found by contac t ing the
Canadian Red Cross: 909 Fair f ie ld Rd.
Phone:(250) 382-2043 or by v is i t ing:
www.redcross .ca/how -we -help/f inding -
family - res tor ing - family - l inks
16 heremagazine.ca
trailing spouses
“ Trailing spouse” refers to a person who follows his or her spouse to a new city or country for a work assignment; the term is believed to have been coined by the Wall Street Journal ’s Mary Bralove in 1981.
HYEYOUNG JEON moved to Victoria‚ B.C.‚ in
2010‚ ten days after marrying a fellow South
Korean who’d moved to Canada several
years prior‚ initally to improve his English but
later to complete a degree and pursue work
as a software consultant. Jeon had worked
as a hospital social worker in Korea‚ but she
wasn’ t allowed to work—or even take ESL
classes—when she first arrived in Canada on
a visitor visa. “I felt like I ’d lost my identity‚” she says.
Feelings of isolation or disconnectedness
are not uncommon in newcomers relocating
with a spouse—or like Jeon‚ moving to live
with a spouse. One spouse may have built- in
social and professional connections through
work or family‚ but the accompanying partner
often lacks those connections and may feel
like a fish out of water. And sometimes‚ that
accompanying partner may need to wait
for a work permit and new certifications or
licensing before working in their chosen f ie ld.
by Susan Johnston Taylor
heremagazine.ca 17
Even though she says she’s not naturally
outgoing‚ Jeon found her sense of purpose
through volunteering with kids through the James
Bay Community Project ’s welcome playgroup for
immigrants and refugees with small children. “I am grateful to be a small part of this playgroup
for newcomers with young children as this group
provides supportive and welcoming environment
for them to connect with community‚” she
says. “Volunteering helped me get a sense
of belonging‚ a feeling like I can contribute
something to the community. I
had no job to do and tons of
free time‚ but ever since I started
volunteer work‚ it ’s something I
can do for the community. I’ve met
lots of great people.”
Jeon’s supervisor‚ Kaye‚ moved
to Victoria from England and
experienced many of the same
challenges as an immigrant‚ so the two hit it
off. Jeon also volunteers with the organization’s toddler time drop-in‚ and she learned English
and found work as an on-call receptionist for
the nonprofit where she volunteers. She’s now
a registered social worker in Canada and is
looking for a full-time job.
Here‚ Jeon and two other accompanying
partners share their tips for settling in:
GET INVOLVED. Joining a club‚ finding a job‚ or volunteering are great ways to start meeting
new people‚ even if it ’s uncomfortable at first.
While living in Scotland‚ Nicola Stewart had
previously worked at a Swarovski jewelry store‚ so when she moved from Scotland to Victoria
with her fiancé‚ Martin‚ in May of 2014‚ she
quickly landed a job at the Swarovski store in
Mayfair Mall. She’s made friends through work
(but the downside‚ she admits‚ is that her friends
from the store are often working when she has
time off). As word of Stewart ’s Scottish roots
spread‚ others from Scotland would come talk
to her at the store. Stewart now works in the
Bay Centre at Migration‚ a retail hub for local
designers. In Stewart ’s words: “I love it! Being a
textile designer myself‚ it has really inspired me
working here to get back to designing myself.”
If you don’ t find work right away
or can’ t work due to visa issues‚ consider volunteering as Jeon has
done or joining an athletic group
like Franck Germain did. (And these
avenues could help broaden your
social circle even if you do find work‚ of course.) After meeting his wife
Laura in Burgundy‚ France‚ Germain
moved from France to Canada
twenty-five years ago. “I felt like I was five or
six years old again‚” he says of his arrival in
Canada. “People were nice to me‚ but it was
hard to develop friendships.”
Germain and his family moved back and forth
between Canada and France‚ and by 2008‚ he
knew he needed to build his own network of
friends. While buying running shoes‚ he asked
about local trail running groups‚ which led him to
the group he now runs with three times a week.
“You can enjoy running anywhere in the world‚” he says. “It doesn’ t matter where you’re from. It ’s easy to relate to people with a shared interest.
The rest falls into place.” He cautions that other
accompanying spouses shouldn’ t rely on their
partners’ friends or family for social contact. “It doesn’ t give you space to express yourself‚” he
says. “You need your own space.”
I FELT LIKE I WAS FIVE OR SIX YEARS
OLD AGAIN. PEOPLE WERE NICE TO
ME‚ BUT IT WAS HARD TO DEVELOP
FRIENDSHIPS.
“
18 heremagazine.ca
AVOID COMPARISONS TO YOUR HOMELAND.
It ’s easy to fixate on the differences between
your new country and your old one. “When I
first moved I’d make comparisons‚” Germain
says. In France‚ Germain and his family
enjoyed lively debates and two-hour lunches‚ complete with fresh French bread. But Germain
found that Canadians tend not to debate as
much and don’ t savour their meals the way
the French do. “I’ve learned not to make
comparisons‚” he says. “There are good
and bad things on both sides.” (Fortunately‚ Germain says‚ Victorians now have access
to better bread makers than when he first
arrived.) When the couple moved with their
kids from France back to Canada‚ one of the
children missed those long‚ relaxing meals‚ but
Germain says they made a smooth transition
overall.
LOOK FOR THE UPSIDE. Change often brings
positive and negative results‚ but for the sake
of your happiness and your partner ’s‚ try to
focus on the positives. For many newcomers to
Victoria‚ the beautiful British Columbia weather
tops the list of positives. Jeon and her husband
spend time during the summer camping and
hiking around the island. “When I was in Korea‚
I worked in a hospital all day‚ so I didn’ t have any personal time to enjoy camping and
hiking‚” she says. “The weather is really nice.
South Korea can be hot!” Jeon also cites her
volunteer opportunities and volunteer training
as positive aspects of her new life in Canada.
Stewart and her fiancé now have a Jack
Russell terrier mix they named Archie‚ and the
pair spends many of their weekends exploring
the outdoors with Archie. “Make the most of it
in the summertime‚” she says.
BE PATIENT. Whether you speak the language
or not‚ certain things may still feel foreign.
Stewart ’s coworkers smile when she says
rubbish instead of garbage or shopping
centre instead of mall. It may take longer
than you’d like to get a permanent residency
card or find a family doctor‚ so practice
patience and don’ t expect to feel like a local
right away. “Everything takes time to get
familiar with the system‚” Jeon says.
Give it time‚ and things will often start to
fall into place. “[Moving to Canada] was
tough at first‚” Germain admits‚ “but I have no
regrets.”
WHETHER YOU SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OR NOT‚
CERTAIN THINGS MAY STILL FEEL FOREIGN. STEWART ’S CO-WORKERS SMILE WHEN
SHE SAYS “RUBBISH” INSTEAD OF “GARBAGE”.
next s
ectio
n: L
ANGUAGE
, LEARNIN
G, A
ND L
IVIN
G
heremagazine.ca 19
(Lef t) Frank Germain and wife Laura. Photo provided by Franck Germain. (Centre) Nicola Stewar t , f iancé Mar tin , and Archie, the dog. Photo provided by Nicola Stewar t. (Right) Hyeyoung Jeon and husband Bongcher hiking a local trail . Photo provided by Hyeyoung Jeon.
Write the number in the box next to the matching word that describes Ryan’s hiking gear:
a headlamp
a walking stick
a sit -upon
a toque
a bear bell
a GPS unit
What is the purpose of each item? Do you think these items are necessary?
True or false?
a. The “ trailhead” is both the start and the end of the trail.
b. A “silencer sock” is a very soft type of hiking sock.
c. “Standing water” is creek water that is safe to drink.
d. If a piece of clothing “wicks”‚ it is not good to wear hiking.
20 heremagazine.ca
learn
ON
THE WET COAST
HITTING THE TRAIL
HIKING IS A YEAR-LONG
ACTIVITY ON VANCOUVER
ISLAND. OUR TRAIL GUIDE
RYAN SHOWS US WHAT’S
IN HIS BACKPACK AND
WHAT WE NEED TO
HAVE FUN WHILE
STAYING WARM‚ DRY‚ AND SAFE:
Ryan carries information about the things you might see along a trail ‚ l ike bugs ‚ birds ‚ trees ‚ and mushrooms. An expert who studies bugs is called an “entomologist”. What are the other experts called?
Answers on page 27
1
2
T F
T F
T F
T F
1
2
3
5
6
4
3 4
A “ toque” is a classic Canadian fashion item. What are three words that rhyme with “ toque”?
Hin t : a p lace on Vancouver I s land w i th a good beginner ’s t ra i l !
heremagazine.ca 21
RYAN ’S TIPS FOR SHARING THE TRAIL STAY TO THE RIGHT OF THE PATH WARN PEOPLE IF YOU ARE COMING UP BEHIND THEM DON ’T MAKE YOUR OWN TRAIL PACK OUT EVERYTHING YOU PACK IN
HIKING WITH RYAN
ON
THE WET COASTBRITISH COLUMBIA’S WEST COAST
IS MAINLY
PACIFIC TEMPERATE RAINFOREST. LOCALSSOMETIMES REFER TO IT AS
“THE WET COAST”!
ESSENTIAL GEAR? Water‚ a waterproof jacket‚
gloves‚ a headlamp‚ a watch. My GPS unit.
GOOD TRAILS FOR BEGINNERS?
Francis/King Regional Park‚ Thetis Lake‚ Witty ’s Lagoon‚
Alyard Farm Trail at East Sooke Park. Francis/King is also wheelchair accessible.
NEWBIE MISTAKES? Not preparing adequately
(especially when it comes to water), clothing and shoes‚ and timing. If
you’ve never done the trail before‚ you don’ t know what to expect‚
so prepare for anything!
WHAT’S NEXT? Helping more people
connect with our natural world and the amazing walks and hikes
on Vancouver Island!
www.thenaturalconnectionvictoria.com
What is the appeal behind spending hours on end...walking? Why do I enjoy taking a route I ’ve never tried? Why does time alone in nature centre me‚ but time alone at home can make me lonely? Why do I hike?
It ’s simple‚ really: it just feels good. Not having my cellphone distracting me by buzzing with (mostly) pointless updates feels good. Fresh air in my lungs and sunshine on my shoulders feels good. Getting my heart working and endorphins rushing as I push myself up a steep hill feels good. Rain on my skin‚ wind in my hair‚ spiderwebs in my
face...well‚ most of it is great!
There’s a chance I ’m addicted to nature‚ but I won’ t be looking
for a cure anytime soon.
—RYAN LEBLANC
Trail Guide‚ Owner/Operator of THE NATURAL CONNECTION
“
Scan the QR code with your phone or tablet and watch Ryan's video exploring another of his favourite trails at the stunning Sooke Potholes.
Credit and credit scores
22 heremagazine.ca
Writer Leat Ahrony was raised in Taiwan and received a North American and international education. She has a Bachelor of Commerce in Sustainable Business and Community Engagement from UVic’s Business program.
For
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A credit score is a numerical assessment of how “credit-worthy" a person is and
indicates how responsible (or not) you have been with money and debt in your
past. For example‚ if you are always late on your credit card payments‚ or always
max-out your limits—to “max-out” means to use all the credit available to you—
then you will most likely have a poor credit score. If you always pay your bills on
time and don’t have any debts‚ then you will have a better credit score rating.
A good credit score is not just important for major purchases‚ like when you buy a
car or a house; a good credit score might get you better interest rates or give you
a better chance of the bank being willing to give you a mortgage. A good score is
important even when renting an apartment or signing up for a cell phone plan. Banks
and credit unions will also check your credit score when you open a bank account; a
good credit score can give you benefits‚ like more flexibility with newly deposited funds.
You are essentially borrowing money‚ so make sure you are aware of what you are spending. If you have multiple lines of debt‚ pay off the highest interest loans first.
A credit score represents ‘a moment in time and can change based on your behaviour’. June 10, 2013, The Globe and Mail
In Canada‚ you can request a free report through Equifax (but to get your actual score‚ you must pay a fee). Equifax’s database consists of about 24 million Canadians‚ and they track all kinds of debt‚ including lines of credit‚ bank loans‚ credit cards‚ car loans‚ mobile phone bills‚ and mortgages. This is a sample credit score report and some Canadian statistics. www.equifax.ca
For many international visitors and immigrants‚ and young Canadians‚ a “credit score” is a foreign topic and one we of ten prefer to deal with later. However‚ the simple approach to getting a good credit score is to be on top of your finances. Think long- term. This is the second ingredient in financial health. Do you see yourself owning a home or car‚ having a family‚ or travelling around the world in the next ten to twenty years?
The decisions you make today will affect those of tomorrow. It is difficult to keep on top of our finances sometimes‚ especially if you are dealing with cultural adjustments‚ trying to find friends‚ or looking for a new job‚ but don’ t let your credit slip away‚ because it will come back to bite you later. In North America‚ most people have some sort of line of credit‚ and unfortunately‚ there is a rising trend of credit debt in Canada‚ so don’ t fall into this trap.
WHAT IS A CREDIT SCORE?
WHY IS A GOOD
CREDIT SCORE IMPORTANT?
The #1 thing to remember: CREDIT = DEBT
moneY
Top 3 problems for landlords and tenants
Visit w
ww
.he
rem
ag
azin
e.ca
for lin
ks to re
nta
l reso
urce
s an
d to
vie
w o
r do
wn
loa
d
pre
vio
us Re
nt H
ere
article
s: Loo
king
for a
Place
to Re
nt‚ V
iew
ing
Ren
tal U
nits‚ A
pp
lying
fo
r a Re
nta
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to Yo
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Ho
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pa
irs.rent
Alex Creighton
has over 30 years
experience in property
management with
Devon Properties
and her family- run property
management company.
heremagazine.ca 23
1
The age-old issue of conflicting lifestyles in multi-unit housing never goes away. Simple things, like differing schedules—the early bird vs. the night owl—can cause problems between neighbours.
2
3
noiseSmoking Unless a building is designated “no smoking”, tenants are permit ted to smoke in the i r own suite. They are not permit ted to smoke in the common areas or in the entranceways to the building. I f you are sensit ive to smoke , i t makes sense to look for a “no smoking” building when you are looking for a place to rent . There are more and more landlords who are designating buildings as “no smoking”. On the other hand , i f you are a smoker, you wil l want to know this as well . Do not make the mistake of moving into a “no smoking” building and think you can get away with i t . You most l ikely won ’ t !
Guests When is a guest not a guest , and when do they become an addi t ional occupant in the premises? The landlord cannot unreasonably res t r ic t your r ight to have guests s tay wi th you. However, i f the landlord bel ieves a guest has moved in wi th you , they have the r ight to ques t ion this . I f the person has moved in wi thout permiss ion , they can require the person to move out i f your tenancy agreement contains terms prohibi t ing addi t ional occupants wi thout the landlord ’s permiss ion. They can issue you not ice to end your tenancy i f you wi l l not have the person move out . A lso ‚ always remember you are responsible for the ac t ions of your gues ts on the proper t y. I f they cause damage or dis turbances , the consequences wi l l most l ikely be yours .
Loud music or parties can cause conflict and possible visits from the landlord or the police. The bottom line is this: any noise at any time that is unreasonable is not allowed. It doesn’t matter if it is 1 p.m. or 1 a.m. If you are disturbed by noise, you need to document the incident(s) and let your landlord know. If the landlord is not informed, they are unable to assist you. The landlord should investigate and, if warranted, the tenant causing the noise should receive a warning from the landlord. If there are problems again‚ the landlord needs to be informed. Keep a record of your complaints, and try and make them in writing if possible. These may be required if the landlord needs to take the step of evicting the other residents if they will not co-operate in keeping their noise levels reasonable.
read
24 heremagazine.ca
A Winter ’s S leep
So much sleeping
in this place. Think of all
that lies beneath the snow, lake trout
below the ice, bears in their dens,
their warm snores drifting above
the tree tops that are sleeping, too,
high above your own long sleep.
Even raven, with so much
to say and do, closes his eyes,
tucks his beak under his wing
and sinks into the season’s
dream-rich dark where all
his stories start.
Ian McAllister with his photographs and Lorna Crozier with her poems hope to touch the wild in you. They want this book about The Great Bear Rainforest to inspire you to treasure and protect wolves, bears, salmon, whales, trees, in all their beauty, so that they will thrive alongside us on this earth.
thinking about the poems
1. The poems are inspired by the animals and natural setting of the “Great Bear Rainforest”, located along the northern B.C. coast. Find the names of eleven animals in the poems.
Poems and images from The Wild in You, © 2015, Lorna Crozier and Ian McAllister. Reproduced here with the kind permission on Lorna Crozier and Ian McAllister/Pacific Wild. Published by Greystone Books. All Rights Reserved. pacificwild.org/thewildinyou
Thoreau Said a Walk Changes the Walker
A rainforest changes the man,
it changes the woman.
Some were born with rivers
in their blood. Their ancestors
spoke with raven and fox,
spoke with wolf and otter and black fish,
spoke with salmon and eagle and frog and heron.
You speak to them, too,
and they talk back. Sometimes
you’re close to grasping what they say—
that’s how the rainforest
changes you.
Today at dusk a bear
walks through the eye
of the camera.
The old ones claim
a man lives inside a bear;
you tell nobody
a bear lives inside a man.
There are weeks in the forest
when your whole body is
a word even you can’ t utter
but the trees, in their
deep listening,
hear.
heremagazine.ca 25
a. Have you ever seen any of these animals?
b. What do these animals mean to you?
c. Are there similar animals in your country of origin?
2. Who are those “born with rivers in their blood”
and “ the old ones”?
3. How do the poems and the photographs
work together to tell a story?
4. Think about the last time you were alone in
nature. How do you feel? What did you hear?
THIS PAST CHRISTMAS brought quite a different feeling to me. It was about
this time last year when I received news about my aunt‚ who had had a stroke during her vacation in the north of Thailand. The bad news arrived via social networking. I saw family members sharing their feelings‚ hopes‚ and sympathy through Facebook. When I woke up early that December morning‚ I was shocked by the news‚ and disappointed that I discovered the news on Facebook and not directly from family.
When I called my cousin‚ she was calm enough to tell me that her mother was in good care in the ICU in the best hospital in Chiangmai. “Not to worry‚” she said. I could sense her sympathy for me that I was not able to be part of the circle of support. It was the worst moment for me. I felt hopeless that I couldn’t be there for my family during this difficulty. I felt so far away from them and could feel an emptiness in my soul.
My aunt was lying unconscious in the ICU‚ waiting for the family’s decision on an operation. What it would be like after her operation was the topic of discussion among family members. What was it like for the family to make these decisions? Every minute of waiting seemed to be unusually long. “What can I do?” I asked myself. Nothing but read the updates about her health condition on Facebook.
“Don’t worry. We’ll be okay. It’s too much for you to book a flight‚ especially this time of year to be here for just two weeks‚” my dad told me over the phone. My husband and I had a flight booked to Thailand for the upcoming summer. I had to think hard about booking a flight to be with the family during this time as it would be
financially difficult to make two trips within six months. What about Christmas? Was I about to leave my children to have them celebrate Christmas without me? How was I going to afford the last-minute flight to Thailand during the Christmas holidays? Decision‚ doubt‚ and guilt haunted me for several days. My aunt passed away on Boxing Day. The feelings of loss and hopeless were indescribable.
“The scariest part of our lives as we move away from home is to receive bad news about our loved ones from back where we come from‚” my friend who moved from Thailand to Idaho once told me. I now fully understand how she feels.
The more I talked to people who have moved from elsewhere‚ the more experiences we shared. A friend of mine who owns a Thai restaurant in Sidney‚ travels to Thailand at least three times a year to visit his mother. As an only son‚ he feels obligated by a duty of caring for his ageing and ill mother‚ who lives on her own in Thailand.
When in Thailand‚ I try to see as
many friends and family as possible. I wonder if I could do less visiting for more quality time. But what if I
miss seeing someone I should have. I still blame myself for not spending enough time with my aunt during my last visit when she was alive. I also felt for my girls and husband‚ who would rather spend time on the beach than several stops at my relatives’ places. My husband was looking forward to a nice relaxing vacation. “What would be a win-win solution?” I asked myself.
Perhaps I just need to accept that I chose to live far away from my family. And the choice comes with the hurtful fact that I will miss being there for and with them. The lesson for me is to take one thing at a time‚ enjoy it while it lasts‚ plan for future‚ and embrace the fact that sadness is like happiness: it comes and it goes. Departure brings the chance for another reunion.
Kedsanee (Aoy) Broome immigrated to Canada from Thailand in 2004 and is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors‚ specializing in cultural diversity.
lossHom
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26 heremagazine.ca
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1. Wri te the number in the box nex t to the matching word that descr ibes Ryan ’s hik ing gear.
a head lamp
a walking stick
a sit -upon
a toque
a bear bell
a GPS unit
2. True or false?a. The “ trailhead” is both the start and the end of the trail.
T
b. A “silencer sock” is a very soft type of hiking sock.
F A silencer sock is a cover for a bear bell.
c. “Standing water” is creek water that is safe to drink.
Standing water is water in nature that isn’ t flowing and may contain bacteria‚ algae etc...
d. If a piece of clothing “wicks”‚ it is not good to wear hiking.
“Wicking” fabric pulls moisture from the skin to the outside of the fabric where it can evaporate‚ keeping you cool (or warm) and dry when hiking.
3. A “ toque” is a classic Canadian fashion i tem. What are three words that rhyme with “ toque”?
Sooke ‚ f luke ‚ Luke ‚ juke ‚ puke
4. Ryan carries information about the things you might see along a trail‚ l ike bugs ‚ birds ‚ trees ‚ and mushrooms. An exper t who studies bugs is called an “entomologist ”. What are the other exper ts called?
BIRDS: Ornithologist TREES: Arborist MUSHROOMS: Mycologist
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SUGG ESTED ANSWERS TO ACTIVITIES ON PAG E 20
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