Hi There Ashleigh, :) I Hope You Are Having A

8/14/2019 Hi There Ashleigh, :) I Hope You Are Having A

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Hi there Ashleigh, :)

I hope you are having a spectacular day, from the sound of your email it is going well sofar :). My day has as usual been busy, but now the people from Purdue are gone and I canfocus on more important things... on that note this is pretty much going to be the evening

of Ashleigh since I am planning to respond to your email then call you on my wayhome... hopefully you do not get too sick of me :)

Ah the dentist, a person whose sole goal in life is to see if they can get both of their handsin your mouth at one time then ask you how your day is going :). Hopefully they wereable to fix the problem and you can now eat and drink with relative impunity. I have toconfess that I am a bad dentist person, in the last 6 years I have gone give or take once... Ihave been blessed for the most part with really good teeth... I did have to wear braces forthree years, but it has been going pretty darn well for me since... the last dentist I went totold me that it was hard for them to believe that it had been 4 years since my teeth lookedbetter than a lot of peoples at six months... I was pretty pumped since that means I can

make it five years :). The anesthesia is always fun, I have the tendency to try to eat yogurtat some point during the numb baseball felling stage... it never goes well, but is oftenamusing to me at least :)

It would seem that having waited a week to email back on this one I missed my goldenchance to give you my best wishes and prayers that your retreat would go well, but at thesame time I have the advantage of knowing that it did go well and being able to look atsome beautiful pictures from the retreat. :) As far as work cutting into fun time I cantotally agree, I personally think that life would be a lot better if we did not have to go towork or school and we could do what we wanted writing emails all day :)

Hopefully those butterflies stick around for a good long time :)

I am glad that you agree that it is ludicrous that people are not willing to sacrifice a littlecorner of a new building to assess the fire resistance of the entire structure... I meanseriously :). I am glad though that you think it is a good thing that I design stuff and try tomake it better, the only down side is that some times while trying to make them better Ifind that small things go wrong... like oh I don't know, but hitting a phone or water linedoes come to mind :). I have to admit that it is a bit of a rush every time we fire up thefurnace and I hit the gas to start heating and I hear 6 miniature jet engines start to rev upto a hum that will almost vibrate the room, it is a lot like taking off in a plane, with theexception that you are praying that you do not actually start moving :). I am glad thoughthat you do not think that I am weird for working toward a Ph.D., it really is fun for themost part... despite some of the issues I tend to have with my advisor (but those happenwith most grad students so I can not complain :) ) I am not really sure why people getweirded out, but that is one of the many reasons I was attracted to your profile, you saidthat one of your passions is learning, I some how thought you would understand thealmost being a professional student, though I did not think you would be jealous, thoughit is cute that you admit it :). As far as being expensive grad school can be, and I am notsure if I have mentioned this but since I am in engineering I actually am getting paid to


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go to school, nothing to retire on, but enough to pay the bills. As far as the student loans,those are something I joke about (and I feel like I should mention this to be totallyhonest). When I was 18 I started a Roth IRA, when I got to grad school I did not makeenough to pay the maximum amount you can put in, since student loans are not assessedinterest until 6 months after you graduate, I borrowed the student loan money and put that

into the Roth, so while I do have student loans... all of the money is in a different accountin which I am making interest on the money the government is loading me and notcharging interest... I am pretty sure that is legal though I will admit I have never"officially" asked :). As an aside about the seeing names in email inboxes when wefinished working last night everyone came into the computer room to check email andwhatnot, when I got to my email one of the other grad students happened to be looking atme, shortly after I got to the inbox and saw the email you sent she asked if I got an emailform someone special, surprised I asked her why she was asking, she said that as soon asI saw something on the screen (which she could not read) I got a big smile on myface :)... I have to admit that I do rather enjoy seeing your name in my inbox :)

You did indeed interpret that theological statement correctly, and while I agree 100% thatit is a bold statement I have to admit that I think it is the same view espoused in the Bible.I also agree that it is a bit to harsh of a view to share with a person when you are trying toconvince them that Christianity is the way to go, while I do not agree with it on thetheological level I have found that I often use decision theology where they need to makea decision to accept Christ in their lives, it is my hope that if they do "decide" to acceptChrist that they will then grow in the faith and learn that it was indeed Christ himselfgiving them that ability. It seems that there is a defined moment in your life where youcan say that you came to faith, while I would like to hear about it, I am sure that is a bit topersonal of a story at this point, but the way that you talk about your faith and itsimportance in your life is beautiful in and of itself, but also knowing the beliefs you holdin your heart makes you more beautiful as well... but I digress ;)

That is not an easy question, what is on the list of do's and don'ts as far as dating, Well,the first thing that comes to mind is that my future spouse must be female :), she must beChristian, she must be a person with whom I can talk for hours and wonder where thetime went, she should have a spark in her eyes and a future in her dreams, she wouldideally like to cuddle, she would wear a smile most of the time, she would enjoy mysense of humor (dry though it may be) and she should be comfortable... a person to whomI could come home and be myself. She should also be a person I find interesting on theinside, no matter how long you know a person you never know everything about them, Iwould love to find all of those little snippets that I will discover the rest of my life beinteresting and endearing. Okay, so perhaps that reads like a wish list... what can I say, Iam picky... I guess that is why I like writing to you :). As far as the don'ts, she should notbe married, do drugs, cheat on anything other than board games, you can call this onesuperficial, but she should not be a lot larger than I am... something about being 145pounds and dating a person 300 pounds is just not all that appealing, she should not bepolitically liberal, should not be financially irresponsible. I could go on about the shouldnot's... but it just makes me feel so negative, so I will stop there unless you would like meto continue :). I guess I look at it and figure if you had a son what kind of girl would you


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want him to marry, that is what I am looking for :). And for what it is worth I think yourwriting skills are superb :)

That is a total relief that you are not a fan of the scary movies. I heard on the radio oncethat about 20% of the population enjoy being scarred that way, apparently their brain

releases more adrenalin than other people so they like that level of being scared ... I amnot sure how true that is but it is interesting none the less :)

Really, are you aware of an agency that pays for other people's travel, I would totally begame for their mailing list :). I am not sure what it is that makes it so much nicer to travelwith another person, I guess I tend to enjoy talking about things and by talking aboutthem it is like I use another sense to enjoy what is being seen so it makes the experiencemore complete... and lets face it, you just feel weird talking out loud to yourself :)

If knowing someone who has a bunch of old motorcycle is on your like long goal list thenyou can go ahead and cross that one off :). And to answer your question, I keep them in

the basement... where else would I keep motorcycles silly :) Fear not though, they are notbig motorcycles, they will only go about 60 (if you are on a hill going down :) ).

I am glad that you find the engineer in me cute, for some reason I just can not shake himso I guess he is here to stay... and I should say thank you for the phone number, I ratherenjoy talking to the person on the other end :)

Ya know, I have heard that girls are distracting... and I agree they are, but it is a goodkind of distracting ;)... and I just connected a few dots here about going to Paris andbecoming a Christian, I guess I was right that the story of you becoming Christian is toopersonal... I appreciate your honesty about your relationship past, that is one of the topicsthat is never really fun to talk about. But I have to say congratulations for standing up foryourself, that is not as easy as it sounds when you are in high school. I will confess (andsadly I should say) that while girls are distracting, I think guys have the corner on the jerkmarket. I am not sure this will make sense but it really bothered me to read the phrase "itbroke a part of me and changed my prayer life forever" You seem like such a sweet girl,the concept of you getting hurt bothers me. All I can really say is that I would not ask youto compromise your purity, I do not have a passport so I could not got to Africa, and weare facing the same way as far as God. And thank you for entertaining the elephant, evenif it was only in my room :)

This has a bit of a dangerous implication, especially when combined with what you saidon the phone about liking email since you can read it several times and remember it... Ihave a fairly bad memory in general, I live by making lists and working on those, I haveactually found that I need to make a to do list for the next day at school the night beforewhile I am thinking about all I have to do, otherwise it will take me a while to get mybearings again in the morning. I try to remember stuff and hope you will forgive me if Iforget, but I am doing pretty well remembering that your Birthday is December 13th so Iguess that is a good sign :)


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Hmmm, you asked the first date question in return... I have to agree that conversation isthe key, so time to talk is good, but there needs to be something going on in thesurrounding that can bring up conversation or be used as an intermediate if theconversation dies. I have always liked the idea of put put golf, but I can be a bit on thecompetitive side so that is not necessarily the best... but something along those lines. I

have done the Coffee thing, but it is a bit to intense on the conversations note and Iinevitably get nervous and wind up spilling my hot chocolate on myself and feeling likeand idiot, I have actually had first dates end with a girl telling me how to get the stain outof my shirt... not quite the good by I was hoping for but I guess it works :). I am thinkingthat a tea factory or something similar would be good... oh wait it seems that youmentioned that you have a tea factory near you :)

I will have to remember to ask about what topic you are learning more frequently if itchanges so often :). As far as the human cell I remember hearing an interview with one ofthe top cell biologists, he was asked about how the understanding of how the cell workshas changed over the years. Specifically the question was posed regarding evolution, if

the understanding of the complexity of the cell at Darwin's time were a hammer, to whatwould the current understanding be compared, the guest responded by saying theuniverse... that made an impression because it shows how complex the cell (and henceGod's creation) is.

Oh look, questions :). I guess I am going to go with a bit of a hybrid answer for this,some will be phone and some will be email, we talked about the pets, though I am stilltrying to figure out a sly way to bring up the skunk topic.

Cartoons, I used to love the Smurfs growing up, in fact back when Kazza was legal Idownloaded a lot of the Smurfs episodes to DVD, they are still fun to watch, I mean whodoes not love the little blue guys :). As far as comics though I like the one we have in theschool paper, it is called the Ph.D. comics, and it is written by a guy at Stanford whomakes light of the standard mishaps that occur in the life of graduate students... I am sureit is a niche audience, but he so often hits the nail right on the head that it is hilarious.

When am I the most afraid? Well there are a lot of times, but the most common is whenyou are speeding and you go through a speed trap realizing that it is too late to slow downand you see the cop pull out behind you then as he gets close turning on those littleflashing lights... yeah, that is a bit scary. Soooo, I just re-read your question and realizedthat you actually asked of what am I most afraid so my last answer does not really fit, butI found it oddly amusing so I think I am going to leave it :). Actually, of what I am mostafraid (avoiding a lot of the more heavy topics mentioned in Revelations) I would saybeing laughed at. I mean I am okay with doing something stupid and having people laughat that, I have taught classes in college, that is bound to happen at some point... but Imean a person laughing at me for who I am. I am not really sure that makes total sense,but the movie Cyrano articulates it beautifully.

It would seem that it is my turn to ask questions... I am not sure if you want to talk aboutthem on the phone or answer them in email, but I will leave that to your judgment :).


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What is on your relationship do's and don'ts list? (I know you never made one outright,but you said you learned as you dated :) ). Do you tend to be a competitive person? Whatis your favorite cartoon or comic? Do you enjoy talking about philosophy?

I should prolly (I had to get it somewhere in this email) call it good for the questions

since hopefully I will get to talk to you here in a few minutes :-)

I hope you have a splendid Friday (and every day for that matter :) )Talk to you soon,Blessings,Rustin

Hi Ashleigh :),

I hope that your women's retreat went well and that everything came together for you intime... that is a total bummer when you plan on a good turn out and it is not the case.

Things are going pretty well for me this weekend, we for the most part are using thisweekend to get caught up on some stuff around the house that we have been neglectingfor a while since we were working on the foundations. I also took some time and put newstruts on my car... she is handling soooo much better now... I was kind of proud of thefact that I was able to get them on in 2.5 hours for all four... yes I am just enough of adork that I time myself while fixing my car :).

Hmmm, there seems to be a phone number at the bottom of this message I am reading, Ithink I will have to give that a try tomorrow evening to see if there is anyone on the otherend who would like to chat :). That actually works out really well since as it turns out myhome internet is down so I am sitting at a rest area to write this message... silly me didnot write down your phone number when I was at school yesterday figuring that I wouldget it when I hop on line at home... only to get home to find the internet down... a bit of apredicament I must say... but it is all good now, this time I took the liberty of writing yourphone number down :).

On that note though I think I am going to head home and I will talk to you tomorrow... Iam looking forward to being able to put a voice with the sweet person I have been writing;)Have a fun retreat,Blessing for tomorrow,Rustin

Dear Rustin,

So I went to the dentist this morning. I have these two teeth that are really sensitive tocold so the dentist recommended something called "bonding." Apparently some specialtype of paste is put on the tooth protecting it from what I eat or drink. Well the dentist


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had to give me three shots of local anesthesia in order to numb the area. Everything wentwell with the bonding but I spent the better part of the morning talking with a lisp andfeeling like my chin, cheek, and tongue were the size of a baseball. The whole experiencewas so strange, but I made several people at work laugh so I guess it was worth it :)

If driving is cutting into your fun time, then working is definitely cutting into mine. Ispent the entire day at another conference, but this one was in Cheyenne, WY. It wasmuch better than the one a few weeks ago, so I think it was worth my time. Plus the lunchwas pretty good. But I really wanted to take care of some other things. See, I'm part ofour women's ministry team at my church and our retreat is this weekend. But everythingseems to be falling apart at the last minute! We were expecting 75 women and only 37signed up which shorted us $1000 to pay the cabin rental. And then the next day 5women said they couldn't go anymore - two of which are on the ministry team - so thatbrought us down to 32! So I've cut costs for the welcome bags and table decorations, butjust now I got word that our cook is really sick and won't be able to make it (though sheclaims most of the prep is done). And another lady on the team - who is leading one of

the discussion groups on Saturday - is in the ER with her son. Plus its suppose to snow allweekend so the hike I was planning to lead has been cancelled too. On top of all of this,last June our main speaker told us that while praying about doing the retreat she felt theLord tell her that she wouldn't be the speaker. She didn't know quite what to make of this"feeling" so she continued preparing for it. So I just prayed with a friend that everythingwill go according to the Lord's plan, but at this point I really have no idea what thatis....needless to say, its been a rather wild day.

I was hoping to write you earlier and give you that butterfly feeling sooner, but time isescaping me this week ... but you're cute to admit that feeling to me. I get it too so Iusually read your emails really slowly so I can make it last :)

Engineering. People don't let you burn down parts of buildings in order to test if they areresistant to fire? Strange. I've told you this before, but you building things and yourinterest in designing things to work better is one of your most attractive qualities - asidefrom the smile and butterfly feelings :) The pictures helped me get a better visual of theproject - thanks. Just as an aside (I picked that up somewhere) it was a little breath-catching to see your name in my personal email box. I definitely see why you like to play(I mean work) with the massive furnace - honestly, I still get excited watching a campfireburn my marshmallow :) Along the same line talking about your education... I admit Ithink I assumed you were currently working on your Masters degree with the hope ofcompleting a Ph.D., but I guess I didn't realize you were completing it so soon. I'm reallyproud of you for pursuing it. Actually I'm jealous you get to be a professional student -my mother never would have allowed it. I'm secretly one in my heart - which is a lotcheaper than doing it for real :) How/why do people get weird when they find this outabout you?

The Lord. I'm glad you liked the quote, though you are making a very bold theologicalstatement by saying that the Lord makes it possible for us to love him. I read that assaying that we would not believe and accept Jesus as Lord unless the Father enabled us to


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do so. I know a lot of people who would vehemently disagree with you (if I indeedinterpreted that correctly) - though I am not one of them :) Apart from scripturalreferences to that discussion, its relatively easy for me to accept and hope for the Lord'sinvolvement in our lives by grace because that's how I first experienced him. I highlydoubt that I ever would have believed if God had not decided that he wanted me, and thus

extended grace in such a way to overcome my stubbornness in thinking I could doeverything myself. Though this topic is not always the most popular to talk about - I thinkits too much harshness in trying to convince someone, and not enough willingness fordiscussion with them. And you're right, there is a certain relief in knowing we don't haveto earn our way to heaven - though relief doesn't seem a strong enough word :)

Day dreaming about a cute girl across the country... you're sweet...again :) Ok I guess Ican take a little correction :)

Deal breakers. So what's on this list of do's and don'ts? I'm curious, indulge me :) As foraccusations of being judgmental...if by creating a list of deal breakers you were being

judgmental against anyone it was probably more against yourself because those werethings you told yourself you either couldn't or wouldn't tolerate in a relationship. Youwere limiting yourself not others. Sometimes its just best to know yourself this way. Ipersonally never made a list but as I've dated I've learned a lot about what I'm looking forin a husband. Its a shame its a whole trial and error sort of thing. Its funny you mentionedarranged marriages. Sometimes I wish I would have had one and I start to think of howromantic it could be to fall in love with someone because of building a life togetherinstead of doing it the other way around. But I figure God is in those things too, and Ididn't grow up in a culture that highlights arranged marriages so I'm just going to have topray for wisdom and continue working on my writing skills :)

Relationships. Continuing with your point about bonds being formed while dating...Ithink this is unavoidable since emotions are involved. The really sad part for me is thatwhen a relationship turns sour I don't just lose a boyfriend, I lose a good friend. Its neverthe same after that. I agree with matching vulnerability with commitment, thoughrelationships always carry the risk of hurt (maybe that's part of what makes them kind ofexciting) :)....I'll talk about my relationship history later :)

Movies. I'm glad you like movies - they are a good release after a long day. And I'm evenmore glad that you don't do scary movies. I absolutely hate to be scared so I'm no wherenear being on any fan list for horror films, or scary corn mazes, or student loan statements:)

Mental note... cross lines with vanilla chap stick :)

Traveling. Your first plane trip was last spring?! Oh goodness... well I'm glad it went well:) I took my first plane trip at 3 weeks old and have flown several times a year every yearsince, so I can't connect with you on this. I already know you prefer motorcycles anyways:). Don't be jealous though, those places will still be there when you find time to seethem. And yes, traveling with someone makes all the difference. The other difference is


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made when someone else pays for it :)

Unanswered questions. You have 10 motorcycles!? Where do you keep them? Alrightthis is sounding more like an obsession than a hobby....but then again I always wanted toknow someone famous for their collection of '75/'76 Yamaha motorcycles, so I guess I'll

just accept it :)

Oh look, he answered the phone conversation topic with too much detail when I wasreally planning to just give him my phone number...hmmm, must be the engineer in him,cute. :) I bet you've never worked so hard for a phone number in your life. I guess we'llfind out if you're really real. I prefer you call anyways, so here you go :) 303-929-4907.I'll be in the mountains Friday and Saturday at the retreat, so what does Sundayafternoon/evening look like?Relationship history. Divorced with illegitimate children?....Eharmony must be doing agood job matching because I'm actually already married and carrying twins as a surrogatefor a gay couple from Thailand (ok, kidding, but a woman I work with is actually doing

that!). You're history doesn't sound too complicated. I bet school has kept you busy too -us girls can be pretty distracting :) As for my history I had a high school boyfriend thatwas on again off again for my junior/senior years. He pushed me a round a little bit, andwhen he figured out I wasn't going to sleep with him, he broke up with me and spreadthese awful rumors around school. No one really believed him, but it still hurt. I knew Iwasn't going to marry him, but I liked the idea of being in a relationship too. After him Ididn't date again until college (I took two years off after high school to work - this iswhen I became a Christian). During my undergrad I felt a call to missions work so Iattended a training camp in Virginia where I met a man from Louisiana who also feltcalled to missions. He was a youth pastor and when we went home we began dating longdistance. He was planning to move to Colorado a few months later. At that time I wasexperiencing some strange things in my prayer life. I would pray for letters from him andget one the next day. I had some strange dreams too about him too. The relationship wasvery emotional I admit and I thought he would ask me to marry him soon after movinghere. But then he got really sick very suddenly the week he was suppose to move. Hespent three weeks getting better and then announced to me that he was offered a job withthe Salvation Army in Uganda for 9 months. He told me that this was a good opportunityfor us because then he would have enough money to make a good start here in CO. So Iencouraged him to go. He wrote me every so often, saying he didn't have a good internetconnection. I believed him, this was Africa after all. But then he stopped writing andstopped answering my letters. I got worried, but there wasn't anything I could do. A fewmonths later I got an email saying he was getting married in a few weeks. That was hard.It broke a part of me and changed my prayer life forever. I never saw him again. Forseveral years I didn't date at all. I was busy finishing my degree and paying for thatdegree. I worked in the hospital here delivering meals for patients and met an new guy.He was shy and smart and into cycling, nothing like I'd experienced. At first I didn't likehim but over the year we became really close friends and he started showing interest indating. We tried a date, and then he said he'd call, but wouldn't. Then I'd agree to anotherdate, and he'd cancel. Then he wouldn't call for weeks. I talked to him about how hurtfulthis was to me and we took a break for several months, but I sprained my ankle falling


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down my apartment steps and didn't have anyone to call but him. After that we went on alot of dates one right after the other (something about the damsel in distress). Then I leftmy job at the hospital and he cancelled a planned date the night before, and then I neverheard from him again. He didn't return my messages and since I wasn't working with himanymore I didn't see him. This summer I finally decided to confront him about it. He said

that he was a coward for leaving me that way, but said he felt that in all areas we wereequals except spiritually. It was that moment I realized that I wasn't dating a Christian,and that this man was intimidated by my relationship with God. He promised to call mewhen he left but I haven't heard from him. It only took me two years to figure him out -cheesh. So, the count stands at losing boyfriends to an unwillingness to compromisepurity, move to Africa, and turn my back on God...not bad :)

V word. I appreciate your honesty, though I must say this elephant was not in my room...but I'll be brave and tell you that I don't want sex before marriage, and I haven't brokenthis conviction.

Now for your questions... I do make lists but I tend to remember everything for the sheerreason that I wrote it down, so I end up with all these post-it notes everywhere with onlyhalf the things crossed off. Its rare that I forget anything and I stay pretty organized soI'm always the one in the group nominated as the "note taker."

First date. I think you need plenty of time to talk on the first date, but you need somethingto help bring up conversation too. At this point in life I'm a little burned out on the coffeedate, but its easy to make it unique and go out for pancakes, or ice cream (I'll choosefrozen yogurt :). Or if you're in a good area, going to an art gallery opening or other tourcan be great (we have a tea factory here that is popular). What do you think is a good firstdate?

Intriguing topics. I honestly don't think I can choose just one, it changes almost daily :) Inthis moment in time, and especially because of my job I am really enjoying learningabout the human body as it ages. There is so much that happens to our cells and brainsespecially as we get older. Plus, so many of the problems that my clients have arephysical and often linked to their medications. As I learn more about how our bodies aremeant to work and the way disease and deficiency counteracts it the more fascinatingcreation seems, and the more careful I am to take care of myself. Though I have a note onmy desk to look into recycling programs and investment banking, so you can ask me thisquestion again next week, and you'll probably get a different answer.

I'm not sure whether to give you questions or wait to talk to you on the phone...well I'llleave you with some things to think about and you can decide whether to answer them.How do you feel about pets? (not skunks silly, more like dogs, cats, etc.) Do you have afavorite cartoon you like to watch or read in the paper? What are you most afraid of?

I hope your day is filled with joy :)Talk to you soon,Ashleigh


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Hello Cutie :)

I hope you had a good day!!! Mine went very well, I got a ton of stuff off of my to dolist although I have to admit that I kept thinking about a really cute girl wearing white

flannel pajamas with newly cut curly hair distracting in a good way I assure you :)

I know I have said it a few times already but I want to thank you for being patient withme, I enjoy reading and writing these messages and especially like that little butterflyfeeling when I get to school in the morning and see in my email that I have a newmessage :) I do have to admit though that I am a bit selfish, the main reason I like writingthem is because I know that after I do I will get another email from you funny how thatworks isnt it :)

Unfortunately the pictures are going to have to wait until tomorrow since I am not on myoffice computer so I do not have the pictures with me. Ah yes, the reason for my little

pyromaniac episodes :). Most of what I do is create computer models of buildingsexposed to fire, the whole point being to find cheaper ways to make them safer ifpossible. The only problem with this is that you can not rely on just a computer model,you actually need some data to make sure the model is running right and for somereason people do not like the idea of you burning a corner of the structure to see if yourmodel is right :) So as a bit of a happy medium I have to make scale models of parts ofthe buildings and expose those to fire. What I am testing right now is a generic floorsystem, we are testing several to get a bunch of data that will allow us to set up severalcomputer models which we will then use to conduct additional studies, really the goal ofmy work is to develop design guidelines for the design of floor systems to make themmore fire resistant for cheaper. And lets just be honest what is cooler than a furnacethat is 10 foot by 8 foot by 5 foot high that can go to 2000 degrees in about 3 minutesand yes, they pay me to play (I mean work) with this toy (I mean tool). As far as thecommute if I were commuting this far to work I would just move, some how spending 3hours a day driving really cuts into my fun time :)

That is a beautiful quote, it is interesting though that love for the Lord is circular, theLord wants you to love him, but yet you can not do so until he makes it possible for youto love him it really just brings to the fore how important grace is for our lives and Iagree that we have no clue how prevalent grace is in our lives, I like to think that everytime I have to stop at a stop light that is the Lords way of slowing me down becauseotherwise I would have gotten in an accident a mile down the road it is sobering tothink how much the Lord could be doing by preventing chaos from reigning in our lives.I guess I look at the fact that my works arent enough as a bit of a good thing, the amountof stress that having to do everything just right so you can go to heaven would beoverwhelming, knowing that the price is already paid is a phenomenal relief althoughwho does not like a good dose of getting the credit ;)

I would have to agree that this will prolly be a transformational year for your friend,moving half way around the world away form everyone to study the Bible for a year


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could have the effect on a person :)

Hmmmm, mental note to self about subtlety being used when something is important :) Iwas a bit worried when I wrote that that I was over analyzing the situation and writing in

too much of a technical format. When I want to cover something and make sure that whatI am saying is clear I tend to write in more of a technical style but I am glad that youliked the response :). I try very hard to not correct people, but I am going to have to makean exception here, you said that if I want to day dream about writing perfect girls clearacross the country then I could I have to take exception to girls being plural like Isaid, you are pretty much the most amazing match I have had, so I would have to makethat singular ;)

So it is interesting that you used several key phrases in your paragraph on long distancerelationships, the first one was the concept of a deal breaker. I was told before I starteddating that I should write down what I wanted and what I did not want and to stick to that

list whenever I started dating a person letting the dont want things be deal breakers. Ihave found that very few people seem to think there is truly a deal breaker, it is almostlike they think that if you enjoy spending time with the person that love will conquer therest (coincidentally this is the mentality that my friend who was divorced after 3 monthshad. I have been accuse of being judgmental for having deal breakers because that meansthat I prejudged a person before I know who they really were... coincidentally that personwho is Catholic just Married a Jewish girl on Saturday they agreed to raise the kidsJewish. I totally agree that dating has its fair number of pitfalls. I am not trying to soundlike the anti-romantic one here, but there is a lot to be said for the whole arrangedmarriage thing. The idea of two people (ideally parents) who know their kids very wellsitting down and basically laying out the persons qualities and weaknesses while at thesame time having the kids best interest in mind would eliminate a lot of the problemswith dating. It takes a long time dating a person to get to know them and in that time a lotof other things come into the picture that make the water muddy such that by the timethey really need to see clearly they do not know where they are and they can seenothing it is unfortunate though that in the trying people on for size thing that thebonds are formed where you are starting to depend on and trust one another only to havethat bond however mature it is broken when the relationship ends I almost feel like itmake is harder to form that bond fully once you are married. :). It does take a certainamount of vulnerability to make a relationship work but that vulnerability needs to beconsistent with the commitment in the relationship, otherwise that can lead to a wholeworld of hurt. Okay I could keep writing about this but I hate to think that you might fallasleep reading it and bump your pretty head on a keyboard so I will stop for now :) as anaside I did really think I was about the only person who used the phrase play their cardsright interesting

Well I guess I totally can not complain about having a trip to Fort Wayne canceled thenight before, that is no where near as bad as not hearing form a person for 4 months thenfinding out that they are getting married that would be a bit of a surprise, of coursethen again I found out about 4 months ago that the first girl I dated is engaged. I almost


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feel sorry for the guy but you asked about that later so I will answer it later :)

Well I am going to have to add optimist to your list of qualities :), you totally gave me thebenefit of the doubt at every turn on that whole dancing thing, thanks and dont worry,I am a pretty good student lets face it, at this point I am almost a professional student :)

I personally think that movies are no where near as much of a problem as TV, I ratherenjoy them myself. Movies have the advantage that you watch them start to end and thatis it, much of TV on the other hand has an ongoing movie line that draws you in. Moviesyou can watch and check out of reality for a few hours then they are over and you cancheck back in. I will say though that I am not a fan of scary movies, if I want to be scaredI will look at my student loan statement, that is about all the more my heart can take :)

I guess I should have made an exception for vanilla scents, as long as it is not too heavy itis heavenly not to tread to close to any lines, but there is a lot to be said for vanillachap stick :)

Blasphemy, no bake cookies are amazing, especially when served with fudge and icecream :) Phew, I am glad you said you like cooking with other people, and especially thatyou said it is romantic, that is one of my favorite things to do on a date, cooking togethercan totally be fun, I never really cooked with anyone until I started dating... romantic is agood word. And I totally understand that you are saying about grocery shopping, I havethe same problem at tooling supply dealers, there is just so much stuff that needs to belooked at :), in all seriousness though I enjoy grocery shopping, but it is not somethingthat I have to set a time limit for :)

That is an interesting theory on how to control citizens of a country, I think I wouldhowever prefer to stay here in the states where we for the most part have free access tothings :). From the sound of that paragraph you really have traveled quite a bit, again Ihave to say I am jealous... as an interesting aside, I was on my first plane trip this springto go to a conference... it went really pretty well :). Were I going to travel to a foreigncountry though I think I would much prefer to go with someone, one of the professorshere travels for conferences frequently, and he always takes a few extra days and takeshis wife with him, that way a lot of the trip is paid for and they get to see it together :)

Interesting unanswered question, though that is very similar to the one of which I wasthinking as my answer when I told you I would answer the question in return, when yougave that answer I thought to myself... well that is not a big deal I will just answer therelationship question... this only to find that question asked a bit later, so I will throw in afew things, perhaps the first will be the most surprising. You never asked how manymotorcycles I have... the answer to that would be 10 with 6 of them being the same modelof Yamaha that was imported for only two years in 1975 and 1976, between my dad andmyself we have the worlds largest known collection of that bike :). But the originalquestion I had in mind is you know I am in grad school for civil engineering but younever asked what level degree I am getting, you may have guess by now since I havetalked about job prospects that I am getting my Ph.D. That is something I will usually not


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tell people for a while since they get all weird when they find out that I will be a doctor inless than another year :) I will however defer the relationship question till it is actuallyasked at the end of this email :)

Oh look, the phone conversation topic :). I really have no idea how the secure call option

works, I was figuring that we would just exchange phone numbers and arrange a time tocall. If however you would prefer to go with a bit more secure option, I figure that sinceyou know my last name you can listen to one of my lectures online and you can go to theMSU website and figure out my phone number, where I live and a whole host of otherinformation, on top of that when I email you pictures tomorrow my emails automaticallyput all of my contact information on the bottom so you will get it anyway, but with thatbeing said, I can just give you my phone number and if you are not comfortable with mehaving your number you can just call me with a calling card so it gives a random numberas the call back and not yours... normally I would prefer to be the one to call you but I amnot sure how to make that work if you did not want me to know your phone number, so Iguess it would just have to go the other way :)

Ah yes, the relationship topic, well I am divorced and have 4 illegitimate children... okayso not really (I could not pass that one up :) ). I went on my first date when I was 21, oneof my friends was in Vet school and she set me up with one of her friends who hadlikewise not dated. We really did not have a whole lot in common and we had a lot ofdifferent priorities but I think we both liked the idea of being in a relationship so wedated for 11 months, I broke up with her because when I looked back at all of the thingson my must have and can not stand list she really was stacking up to have the listsbackwards, we got along well and always had fun, but it would just not work long termso while it broke my heart and unfortunately I am sure it hurt her at the time I broke upwith her. Is happens that the following summer I worked with a girl at the MichiganDepartment of Transportation with whom I got along great, so after that summer westarted dating, we had nothing in common, including that she was not religious, and shemaintained that even if she were to become religious she would not raise her kids to beany specific religion because she would want them to be able to choose for themselves. Iwill confess that my priorities were not where they should have been, she was a veryattractive girl so while I knew we would never get married we still dated for 4 months, bythe end of the four months it was obvious to anyone that the relationship was doomedeven though we were still dating and having fun. The night we broke up we went to aplay with her parents with whom she was very close, I knew them fairly well and theywere just totally different that night, like they knew something was wrong. That nightafter the play she and I talked about it and decided that things would be best if we wentour separate ways. We kept talking for several months and would see each otheroccasionally but she moved to Washington and as tends to happen we drifted apart. Sincethen I have not dated other than a date here or there that never went anywhere, I have forthe most part resolved myself to making sure that I do not date a person who I know isnot right for me... sadly there are not a lot of people on the average college campus whoshare my religious convictions so I have remained basically single. I will go ahead at thispoint and address the elephant in the center of the room with this whole dating topic, I amnot saying you have to answer it if you do not want to, but I will answer it from my


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that was we were not ready for it when I ordered it and there is no way to stop an orderfor 7:30 in the morning. Well, Saturday we got started around 10 am and realized we hada bit more to do than we had planned, we worked until 1:00 am, went to bed and got up at7:00 Sunday morning (we skipped church which is very rare) and worked until 1:00 amSunday night, we then went to bed and got up at 6:00 this morning to finish up a few last

details before the concrete, all said and done we were ready for the concrete at 7:24 for a7:30 delivery. We finished this morning and I got cleaned up and went to school gettinghere about 2 minutes earlier than I needed for my class. Finally, I have no more deadlinesthat are urgent, but I am really pretty darn tired, though I am feeling much better :)

On that note I have to apologize yet again, firstly for not writing to you this weekend andthen again because I am not awake enough to do your most recent email justice tonight :(.I am going to head home to get some sleep and I will write more tomorrow. You aresweet to put up with how busy I am and the fact that I can not write regularly right now, Iam not usually this busy and I am not sure why :\.

I hope you have a wonderful night,Sweet Dreams,Blessings,Rustin

Dear ice cream loving Michigan cowboy :)

How are you feeling? I hate those little colds, they are so annoying. Its scientificallyproven now that chicken soup really does make you get better :) (Nothing published yeton the health benefits of ice cream though). I haven't done much today. I've been writingemails, reading, playing a little piano, napping with the kitty - its been great. When I gotback to work on Fri I had over 60 emails and 20 voicemails, so this weekend is my refugebefore the storm on Monday.

My goodness I think our letters are reaching novel length. I copied and pasted your lastletters into word processing so I can read your letter while I type mine, and together theytotaled 6 pages. You tend to write more on Fridays anyways so I'm glad I'm just restingthis weekend and can do your letters justice with some good responses :) And since youenjoy doing it so much I guess I will just have to let you keep reading my writing andsending me sweet messages back :)

Ok, explain to me why you light fires under enormous slabs of steel and concrete?...wellwhatever the reason I'm pleased that it will allow you to graduate. It all sounds so neat.With all the work that department is making you do I'm convinced engineers aren'tgetting enough recognition in this world. And when you apply for your first job, you'regoing to have to hold out for a better commute too.

I like how you said you rely on grace. I continue to struggle with wanting my effort to beenough for getting things done - I prolly :) just want the credit. But its true that graceplays a greater role in our day in/day out lives than I think we understand. Last Sunday I


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went to church with my English friend and the preacher said that one of the mostimportant questions Jesus is asking is "Do you love me?" It was such a simple reminder.At the end of the sermon he gave this quote by William Cowper - I thought you mightlike it. "Lord it is my chief complaint that my love is weak and faint. Yet I love thee, andadore. O' for grace to love thee more." Beautiful right?

I'm not sure exactly what my friend Linsi is studying at the Bible school. While she wasunpacking I looked through her orientation booklet. It looked pretty intense with aweekly scripture reading schedule, memory verses, lecture schedule, and outreach events.I don't think its like university where you specialize in something. I think its more like anextended retreat. I write her almost everyday so I'm sure she'll keep me updated. She'sfeeling kind of lonely and disoriented right now, but I keep trying to encourage her thatthis will change when the school's community becomes better established. I think thisyear will prove to be very transformational for her.

Thank you for understanding about my discomfort with the endearment "Sweetie." Your

response was well put and I really appreciate the acuteness and honesty with which youwrote about it. I must say though that I'm surprised you picked up on how important thiswas for me to write to you about. I have a bad habit of using subtlety when I'm afraid ofbeing forward. Well done :) It must be the introvert in you. In terms of the running awayof imagination, I have a reputation for being a big dreamer so I'm no model for stayingmy anticipation and hope of things unseen. If you want to day dream about writing toperfect girls clear across the county, don't let me stop you :)

I must confess you brought up some very interesting points with the long distancerelationship topic. This is a pretty dense topic to write about so forgive me for thevagueness and essay sounding vocab... It is a shame that those people divorced after only3 months. Perhaps they did not know themselves well enough to know what theirrelationship deal breaker qualities and values were. Before you mentioned it I had neverweighed the advantages of being able to get to know someone intellectually andideologically apart from the physical connection. Being apart does force people to findother ways to connect. I think so much of what I consider "knowing" someone to bewrapped up in sharing experiences with them, which you need to be together to do, andnot just knowing things about them. Though I agree that sometimes the attraction andemotions and absence of the messy things in life can give a false sense of trulyconnecting with someone. But isn't that the trouble with dating in the first place? Somuch about dating is more about trying people on for size to meet your own needs -whether temporal or not, than coming along side someone and sharing in life together -which is more the picture of life after the wedding. It takes a lifetime to truly knowsomeone, simply because people are complicated and in a constant state of change. So Ithink there has to be an intentionality and certain vulnerability in a boy/girl relationship ifit is to survive - whether that's a Friday night movie, or a long distance romance. So Iguess the conclusion would be that yes, there are advantages and disadvantages to longdistance relationships with the hope that if the parties involved played their cards rightthe relationship would continue to deepen and grow to the point that being apart wouldno longer be an option. I guess like everything else it just takes good communication :)


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That is so lame that the girl cancelled on you the night before after all that work bringingthe relationship to that point. Why is that ex's always call at the worst times? The onlytime I dated someone long distance, the guy went to Africa for a short stint for theSalvation Army and ended up sending me an email after 4 months saying he was getting

married! Shocked is not a strong enough word. I never saw him again, so I guess the Lorddid have other plans :)

Dancing. Well you were able to clap to the beat, not all hope is lost :) It is a rare personwho lacks a sense of rhythm, but I think you just need more practice multitasking. And inyour defense, you weren't in your element. I bet the music was new to you along with thewords, so don't be too hard on yourself, you had a lot to concentrate on. Don't be worried,you'll be fine, I'm a good teacher :)

TV. I completely relate to TV shows taking over your thoughts. For several months Iwatched "Alias" with a girlfriend and I started having the strangest dreams. I already have

terrible nightmares so I finally told her we couldn't watch it anymore. I confess thoughthat I love movies. Well I love talking about movies which isn't exactly like watchingthem but still. And more than that I'm such a sucker for movie previews - I never skipthrough them (another thing that drives my family crazy). And I agree going withoutcable is not much of a loss.

Glad to hear you shower on a regular basis (I usually try to save that question for later inthe communication process :) In response to your question, I think there is a differencebetween smell and fragrance. Every person has a unique smell from their chemistry andthat's usually what attracts me to a man - his natural smell. But more often than notpeople mask that smell with fragrances from the products we use. But those chemicalsweren't meant to be in your body. I'm a big advocate for natural beauty and simplifiedliving so I don't wear perfume or use really harsh cleaners or air fresheners. But I do likelotion with vanilla. I just tell myself its the most natural :)

I'm a big fan of talking through things. And where ever you got that trait, its a good one,especially in a man :)

How funny that neither of us can score tennis. That makes me feel a little better. Did youknow that during the Reformation playing tennis was considered a sign of well roundedcharacter, education, and sophistication? It was one of King Henry VIII's favorite games.I haven't played in probably 10 years, but I'd love to try it againBaking. Seriously...no bake cookies? Don't worry too much, they aren't very goodanyways because all the good things that go in cookies need to be cooked :) But if youare really set on getting them right I will tell you that I do well cooking with others.Actually I think making a meal together or cookies is very romantic and a lot of fun. Ihave a lot of good memories from my childhood cooking with my mother, so that'sprobably where the joy of doing it together comes from. And you will probably think itssilly but I love going to the grocery store. I look at all the different foods and pricecompare and imagine different meals to make. I usually have to set a time limit for


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myself when I do the shopping because I spend way too much time just looking around.

And I'm so glad you share food. I've heard its the ultimate sign of selflessness :). My dadand my brother never share with me. But honestly, how else is one suppose to try newthings? Keep working on your father. I've found that making yummy noises while eating

helps entice conversation around your food :) If you make people think you are having abetter time eating than they are then they are more likely to trade bites with you.

Travel. Well you just need a few months backpacking through Europe and then aMediterranean cruise that drops you in Israel and you'll be set. All the places youmentioned are beautiful and worth your time, though I haven't seen Italy or Israel. Keeptrying to get to China through academia, its the best way to see it because the Chineselove to conference about their cultural and industrial growth. I studied at two universitiesthere for a few weeks in 2007 and was blown away by the dichotomy of communism.The universities are run by the government. The grounds were immaculate, expansive,and technologically advanced. But the dorms were 6 or 7 stories high without elevators or

hot water. The students washed their clothes in the sink, hung them over the balcony, &hauled thermoses of hot water from an outside tap for showers. Some of the people toldus that this was a way for the government to control their citizens - they limit individualaccess to resources then freely supply them through government sponsors for thecompliant. I could tell you so many stories. It is a wild place.

Unanswered question. That is a very interesting last question. What question am Isurprised that you have not asked? Well...I'm surprised that you haven't asked meanything about my job or my education. Your promise to answer your own question inreturn intrigued me enough to give this a shot :) So here goes. I have a BS in HumanServices with an emphasis in Community Health and French. Basically that translates asthe undergrad to international social work. I kind of fell into it, which is a whole otherstory about God's faithfulness. About 6 months ago I started working for my county'ssocial service network as a case manager. I have about 100 clients and I manage theirMedicaid benefits. I work mostly with people who have chronic medical conditions andare at risk for going into a nursing home. I set up community services to help thosepeople stay in their homes as long as possible to increase their quality of life andhopefully save the government a little money. Its all very complicated, characteristic ofanything bureaucratic, but I'm loving it so far. And I think I'm good at it. I'm good withpeople :)

Phone. Now for the question you've been waiting for :) I would really like to try talkingon the phone with you :) How do you want to work that? I know there is a secure calloption on eharmony, but I've never used it before.

Just in case you needed more to write about and distract you away from your homework,here is a few questions for you. Its only fair that you answer your own question...whatquestion are you surprised I have not asked you? And what is your response? And yousaid you haven't dated much, so if you're comfortable to say, what does your relationshiphistory look like? (since its kind of a hard one I'll answer that one if you ask it in return


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too :)

I hope you feel better.Blessings for Sunday :)Ashleigh

Hi cutie,

I hope that you are home and getting caught up on rest :). I am sorry I have been soneglectful this last week, it really was a bit more than I could chew, I honestly think thatpushing so hard was what got me sick. But it is officially Friday and this weekend shouldbe more on the relaxing side :) So the first order of things to be done is for me to catch upon the email that I owe you :)

So, as for where I left off in my response, dancing :), a bit of a true story on that one, soat church last week we had a guest musical person who came in to lead the music for

worship, he tried to get us to do more modern stuff (something which the Lutheranchurch is know to not participate in) and for one of the songs he had us clap to the beatfor more of a southern gospel feel. So there I was in the front row and for the life of me Icould not keep the beat with the rest of the people and sing at the same time, I finallygave up on singing and just concentrated on the beat and was able to clap along prettywell. So while the willingness to learn is definitely there, if I can not sing and clap to abeat, I am a bit worried about being able to move and keep a beat :\. But I would be morethan happy to take you up on that little proposition :)

Hmmm, as a bit of an aside (not that I ever go on those :) ) to the television topic youcould say that I am detailed oriented, but that only applies to things I find interesting, Ihave found that I have a problem at school in that when I have to do something that I findboring I do not really pay attention... you can make your own inferences from that :). Ireally do have to give you credit, you always seem to hit the nail right on the head. Icould never have stated it so well as you did but, that is exactly the problem withtelevision, and for that matter why I tend to prefer older movies that make you think. Istopped watching TV when I was in sixth grade, at that time I am not sure why I did, Iguess I just did not think it was a good use of time, when I got to the dorms in college Istarted to watch TV since that was about the only thing to do that was legal, after abouttwo weeks I started to have my shows that I would forgo other things just to see, and thatI would be thinking about during the rest of the day wondering what would happen next...when I realized this I again stopped all together and have not resumed since. For what itis worth I do have a television for watching movies, but since I do not have cable I onlyget about 3 TV channels... not much of a loss I have to say :)

I am glad that you brought up the issue of smell, (and for the record I do shower on aregular basis... even if I am a single guy :) ). The whole smell thing is a bit of an issue forme, I have always tended to have a bit of a problem with people who wear much perfumeat all. I understand that women use more products getting ready in the morning than anaverage man can possibly understand, and the fact that it is impossible to get those


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unscented, and that is totally fine. But if I am around a person who puts on much perfume(or in a house that has a ton of air fresheners) I start to get a headache and it is all downhill from there... so I am curious, what are your thought on the issue?

Thanks for the detail and likewise splitting the question into getting and keeping

attention, you strike me as a very contemplative person :)

So this is going to be a bit on the dorky side, but I am going to go for it: how do you tellthe difference between an engineer who is and introvert and one who is an extravert?...the extravert looks at the other persons shoes during a conversation :).

No need to apologize for a question, I figure that any question is a good question if itleads to getting to know the other person better. I have to agree though that bringingthings up sooner is definitely better. I should add as an appendix to my response that I amalso the type of person who likes to talk about things, I do not like to argue, but if I doleave due to an argument, though often times not as soon as I prolly should, I tend to

come back to the topic to talk about it with the other person. I have found that if I do notresolve things in my mind and talk about it, that it bugs me for a long time. This actuallygets to be a bit of a problem since my dad refuses to talk about things (I am really notsure where I got that trait :) )... all and all though things work out well between us :)

Of course I am still interested ;)

I have to admit that when I asked the sports question that I was thinking purely of theobservation thereof... yet again another insightful answer :). I have to admit that I am nota huge sports fan, while I can sit down and enjoy a football game, I am not really a fanfor any particular team. As far as playing sports I enjoy tennis the most, though I likewiseam not sure how to keep score, on top of that I am not very good at it, but it is still fun.The last time I played it was professors against students, the profs were both over 60 andboth my teammate and myself were about 25, we totally got our buts whooped, and it wasnot intentional, they really beat us :)... in my defense though they play tennis against eachother about once a week...

It is a rare girl who can appreciate the difference between homemade and store boughcinnamon roles, I agree there is a huge difference, but not many people seem toappreciate it any more. Personally, I love cooking in general, though I have to confessthat I tend to lean more to the pasta and the Italian dishes, really though I think that it isfor the most part the challenge of it all. I will make a confession at this point, and trustme I have tried this multiple times. For the life of me I cannot make no bake cookies...now before you laugh, I do well at baking, and while no bake cookies are supposed to beabout the easiest things in the world to make, I just can not get it right. The real downer isthat they are never consistent, some are gooey and some are one step short of petrified :).So I have to ask, do you like to cook with other people, or do you prefer to cook alone?

So I took things a bit out of order with my last email and talked about the long distancequestion already, I just re-read my response and realized that I failed to mention that I


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have not tried the long distance relationship thing before, I have gotten to the phone stageand set up meeting the person (about 200 miles away) and they called the night before tocancel, I never really heard from them again, apparently their ex-boyfriend whom theydated for over 6 years called that day and said they wanted to get beck together... while abit of a bummer at the time I figure that just means the Lord has someone better in

mind :)

You are all together too sweet, the fact that you spent the time in England on a friendscomputer (an typing on a laptop to boot) just to write to me is flattering :)

Sharing food... in my family it is a bit of a no-no, but for some reason I fell far from thattree, My favorite way to do it is each person finds a few things that sound good to themon the menu, they then talk to the other person to figure out what in that list sounds goodto them, you then both order what sounds good to the both of you, when the dishes comeyou just spit it in half and share with the other person. I have actually gotten to the pointwith my dad that the last time we went out to eat he was actually willing to share a bit... I

am making progress :). My step mom and I totally share the same opinion so normally wewind up splitting a dish and sharing a bite or two with my dad :)

I would absolutely love to travel abroad, this country it beautiful, but to us a building thatis 400 years old is really old, in most of the other more developed countries it has to beover 1000 years old to be really cool. I would like to see Israel as a first priority, but Iwould also love to see England, Germany, France, Spain, and China if at all possible... Iwas totally bummed when I found out that my paper for the China conference was notaccepted :(... oh, add to that list Italy as well :)

Well, that would seem to be the end of the questions... I guess now it is my turn to ask afew... Looking back at the last email I asked a bunch so I will limit myself on this one :) Iam not trying to push if you are not comfortable with the idea, but how would you feelabout having a phone conversation?... and this is not really a fair question, but will askanyway :) what question are you surprised I have not asked yet, and what is yourresponse to it?.. I know it is a low question... but that also means that I have an answer toit if it were asked in return :)

God Bless,Talk to you soon,Rustin

P.S. I wrote this at school but the internet was down so I am sending it from home afteryour newest email, sorry it is a bit out of context :|

Hello :)

Did you have a good day? I hope so - I thought of you a lot. I'm falling asleep as I writethis but I wanted you to know I made it home to Colorado safely without any problems.On the flight there was this computerized map of where we were flying. When we flew


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over Michigan I prayed that you would think of me :) I know silly really. I wish youcould see me right now - I'm in these white flannel pajamas curled up in front of thecomputer, oh yah and the cat is here too :). And I got a haircut today so the curls aremessy, all over the place - I'm sure you'd think it was cute :).

Thank you for your letter :) I always enjoy them. I'm too tired right now to do yourresponse justice about the long distance relationship bit but I just wanted you to know itwas great and made me like you even more. So I will just get some rest and let you finishyour letter when you have time - after you clean up from Purdue and the fire :)

Send me the pictures you mentioned - I really want to see them....my email [email protected]

Have a great night,Ashleigh

Welcome back cutie :),

If my math is serving me right (which it often does not) you are back on Colorado rightnow, I hope that you had a safe trip and that you were able to catch some sleep on theplane.

I hope you will forgive me, I had originally planned on finishing my response to your lastemail, I am however still at school and considering that I have yet to start the homeworkthat is due tomorrow at noon I think I am going to have to differ emailing until tomorrowafternoon... Sorry

I hope you had a great flight,Talk to you soon,God Bless,Rustin

Hey Cutie, :)

It sounds like you are having fun to say the least. I am not sure if you will get this beforeyou leave but I hope that you have a safe and uneventful trip home :). I have been stayingbusy to say the least... today we lit a fire under a 13' x 15' concrete floor slab... we thenproceeded to push on it until it broke. It was a little more eventful than intended, weactually had a few pieces of concrete flying around the lab and I totally managed to getsome air on a 20 pound piece of steel... the last part was really not intended ;). All and allthough the test data was excellent and I may actually graduate :) I would not only bewilling to explain more about what I am doing but I also have pictures :) ... and yesmischievous is admittedly a better heading :)

While I appreciate your understanding if I do not have time to write, I rather enjoyreading emails from you and writing back... so I figure I will just do so since I will never


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truly catch up with all else:) On that note though, I hope you do not mind if my answersto this email are a bit truncated... I will try to be more though again when the people fromPurdue leave... they are staying in a motel 1.3 miles from the lab... I live 70 miles away...keeping up with them is proving to be a bit of a challenge.

I am happy to inform you that the metabolism seems to be as good as always since icecream was again the dinner fair :). And while I yet again appreciate the flattery by sayingthat I am diligent, I am not always sure how true that is, I do what I can and rely on gracefor the rest... and much to my chagrin the grace actually compensates for much of what Iwas able to do as well :)

Well it sounds like you had a busy day of moving, I would love to seen an old castle inEngland, let alone have the privilege to spend a year living in one... I do have to saythough that every time I try to go east I always start out by going south :), the sad thingthough is that is true since we have a bit of a problem with a lake east of us :). So I haveto ask, what is your friend studying at the bible school? (Okay aside from the obvious

answer of "the Bible" :) )

Hopefully you had a good day touring around the city and seeing the sites, it also soundslike you are in good hands staying with your friend :)

Sooo, to borrow an English term this is a bit of a sticky wicket, you brought this point uptwice in your email and it is a very valid point and was well to be brought up twice,though you did it quite subtly in different contexts :). On the first count I will confess thatI overstepped what I agree to be a reasonable line in the whole internet relationship thing.In my defense though I have not dated much and when I call a person sweetie I think of itas referring to a person who is sweet in much the same way that cutie refers to a personwho is cute (and I should mention that you are guilty on both of those counts :) ) I did notreally think about the deeper more intimate context in which sweetie is used. So inanswer to your question it is alright that you prefer I not use the term sweetie, but alongthose lines thank you for bringing up something that bothered you, sorry though I put youin the position of having to bring it up. The second context in which you brought this upis with reference to the long distance relationship question (and I appreciate your truthfulresponse) it is easy sitting at a computer on Friday night writing an email to let yourimagination run away and figure that the perfect girl is writing back to you on a keyboardhalf way around the country, while that may well be the case it is prolly not a good ideato count on it :). As for my take on long distance relationships I agree that it would bebest to live near by for a while before anything went long term, but there are advantagesto the long distance thing. I have know a fair number of people that enjoyed hanging outtogether and always had fun when they were together, they wound up getting marriedonly to find that on the vast majority of the major issues they disagree, one in particularended in divorce after about 3 months...not a pretty thing. Long distance relationshipshave the advantage (and admittedly disadvantage) that you get to know more about whatthe other person is like intellectually and ideologically before you are influence by thefun and physical aspects of the relationship.. this can however also be overdone, it ispossible to meet someone with whom your agree perfectly but you can not stand to be


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around for some other reason. I guess what I am getting at is that long distance is all welland go as long as there is frequent and significant together time. The other advantage(and arguably disadvantage) to long distance relationships is that when you are togetheryou tend to be together for a few days at a time, this allows both people to get to knowwhat the other person is really like, if you are living close to each other the tendency is to

get together when there is a fun activity planned on a Friday or Saturday night, while thatis all well and good you do not get to know what the person is like during the non-funtime. I guess what I am getting at is if you go to spend a weekend with a person you get abetter picture of what they are like when things need to be done around the house orapartment than you do just hanging out with them Saturday evening after all of the "todo" list is done. You can prolly tell based on the amount I wrote about that, that I think itis a serious issue and I wanted to give it due coverage, I hope it all made sense, if notplease let me know and I will do my best to clarify :).

I have to apologies since I am going to have to be the wimp for the day and call it a night,I will write more for tomorrow, but since I think I am coming down with a cold and I am

really tired to boot I am going to bed for tonight, sorry I could not respond to all of youremail.

I hope you have/had a wonderful flight,God Bless,Sweet dreams,Rustin

Hey you,

I hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday...how's the fire prep going? You will haveto tell me more about that it sounds fun and... dangerous - I wish you could see my facewhen I said that last phrase - I was going for mischievous :)

I fly home tomorrow - once again through Houston. I'm going to try and sleep on theplane this time. I've had a really good trip, though I'm always glad to go home :)

I know you have a lot to work right now, so don't feel rushed to send me a letter if youneed some time to catch up, though I will say that I'm looking forward to hearing fromyou again :)

Sweet Dreams, Lots of Blessings,Ashleigh

Dear Rustin,

I'm glad you had a great weekend celebrating your birthday and passing your exam -how's the metabolism? And I hope you are getting caught up in your work. I can imagine


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you have a lot to do. I still can't believe all the things you accomplish each week. If youneed prayer for anything else, let me know :). I'm glad it brought peace, I think that's theidea. A friend of mine defended her thesis a few years ago and about two weeks beforeshe realized that she couldn't use any of her research. She practically redid everything.I'm pretty sure she didn't sleep for several days. But she passed and received her degree

so I guess it all worked out. You sound diligent so I'm sure that won't happen to you :)

The flight over to London was fine, just long. We had to connect in Houston fromDenver, so apparently you have to fly south now to get to England. When we arrivedcustoms took over an hour - which is pretty good for Heathrow airport. The next day Imoved my friend up to North England without any problems. We were hauling three veryheavy suitcases and nearly missed our train from London because of the horrendoustraffic (it was like herding cattle). We made it through and I immediately fell asleep onthe train. My friend is studying at Capenwray Bible School for the year. The school is inan old castle in the English countryside - honestly is there a better place to spend a yearlearning about God? The grounds were beautiful like something out of a movie. I think

my friend was a little disappointed with the accommodations and the limited staffdirection, but I'm sure she will come around. As soon as we arrived I had to hug hergoodbye and get right back on the train for London, but still I didn't make it back to myfriend's flat till almost 9pm.

Here in London I'm staying with a friend from university. She was finishing her master'swhile I was doing my undergrad. She's originally from Ghana, so I took her around mylittle town and to church, making sure she had everything she needed. She is a funnyAfrican lady with the sweetest British accent. I could listen to her talk all day. She has a 5year old boy and just had a new son 4 months ago. He is adorable! He cries when shedoesn't hold him so she ties him to her back just like a monkey and he falls right to sleep.Her and her husband are taking such good care of me - they are feeding me so much soits good you like a girl of "reasonable size" :). I haven't seen much of the city yet, but I'mgoing to go around today and visit some sites.

You're last letter was rather good. There is so much to respond to but I will just have tosay that you are clever and sweet, and I'm flattered that you think I am a good match :)And I like the fun flirting though I do have to ask...I don't mind you calling me "cutie,"but "sweetie" is a little too intimate for me right now. Is that alright?

Dancing. I think you are overestimating the difficulty of dancing. Half the battle is havinga sense of rhythm and the other bit is a willingness to learn. But for the sake of intriguingyou and not for argument I have a proposition - how bout I trade you rides on amotorcycle for dance lessons?

Television junkie. Awe yes...there were so many to chose from but that one is importantfor me. I'm impressed that you caught that - I'm wondering if you are rather detailoriented. I know the effect watching television has on me and I don't like it. It removesme from reality which is probably the purpose - its an escape. But then I find its difficultto reorient back to the real world where things really matter. I don't even own a television


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and watch movies only occasionally on my computer. I hope to limit television time formy family. Children can't possibly thrive in this world if they can only focus for thelength of a commercial or sitcom. Its a very unpopular opinion in this world, but stillpertinent I think. You were on the right track when you noticed the freshman coming outof the lecture with their ipods on. I think its really sad how distracted we are from the

world, from each other, from the Lord. I hope my children, my family can be moreengaged in their lives instead of wondering why it passes so quickly.

Only you would think my idiosyncrasies are cute :) And thanks for answering the lovelanguage questions, just to be a nice guy :) It seems our love languages are just anotherthing we share in common.

I can understand now why you were attracted to my profile - brown hair, brown eyes,constant smile :) Thanks for your answers, I love that you separated the interest andretaining attention questions. I've never gotten real honest answers before. And I didn'tthink you were too picky. And I asked more to get to know your preferences than because

I was worried about physical appearance, but still I appreciate your compliment :) Andyou are right, its only fair to answer those questions in response...

As you mentioned, these are just preferences I've noticed about myself, but not hard andfast requirements :) I tend to be immediately attracted to tall, thin men, with dark hair, butfair skin. And with most women, a man's smell is a very attracting quality - though itsusually just their natural smell, nothing store bought (that may not make any sense toyou, but smell is very powerful). But the thing that holds my attention is intelligence withgentleness. If a man listens to me genuinely and shows concern for me I think its great,though I admit my independent streak tends to resist it at first, and a pleasant witty humoronly makes him more fun. I really haven't dated much so this is kind of a difficultquestion to be thorough on. If you want any more details just let me know :)

I had a feeling you were an introvert :) Me too, though I've been practicing being more ofan extrovert, you know inviting people to lunch, making the cubicle rounds at work,joining online dating (ok that one doesn't really count).

You were right, the conflict question was one I'd been thinking about asking. Its hard tobring up and I appreciate your thorough answer. You explained it very well. I hope younever have to say something in anger. I'm not very good at confrontation. I tend to freezeor take things personally, though I think I'm getting better bringing things up immediatelythat bother me or that I was offended by but know that I may have misunderstood. If youbring them up immediately I'm finding they don't become bigger and more dramatic.Sorry if that question threw you off guard.

Well, if you are still interested :) I will answer your questions...

Sports. I do like sports - any group game I think is fun. Ultimate frisbee is one of myfavorites. Though I must be honest and say that football and tennis are difficult for me towatch or play because I don't understand the rules. I know that tennis is one of the easiest


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games to understand but I still can't figure out the scoring. But I assure you I am verysmart in other areas :) I love baseball, and soccer, though I usually just cheer for whichever team my brother thinks is best at the time - it saves the fight at family dinnersCooking. I do enjoy cooking, especially for other people, though I live by myself so Idon't always get up the energy to do it just for me. I tend to be one of the cooks who

cleans as they go so they kitchen never really looks like I'm making much, but myapartment fills up with the smells. My favorite dish to make? Well I like meals whereeverything is mixed together like stir fry or chicken pot pie but I bet I could do a decentshrimp fettuccine alfredo :) And my grandmother gave me a book of her recipes so Ienjoy practicing those - lots of cakes and cookies and side dishes. Every year my churchhas a chili cook-off for the men and a cinnamon roll bake-off for the women. Two yearsago I used my grandma's cinnamon roll recipe which takes over 4 hours because youhave to raise the dough and I won! Of course I entered the next year with store boughtrolls and still won so I think the judging isn't the most accurate.

Long distance relationships. Its not fair that you got to ask this question first...I can't

anticipate your answer :) Honestly I think they can work, though I think they are hard andrequire a great deal of intentionality and good communication - well that sounds like anygood relationship doesn't it? I have many friends who had long distance relationshipsover several years and they have very good communication in their marriages now so Iguess it can teach you some good skills early. Though I confess I would probably have tosee him every few weeks just because I tend to miss people too much. And, along thatline, its easy to think I know someone because I write them letters and think about themand talk about them to my friends, though sadly I think technology can create a falsesense of depth in any relationship, so that's why eventually living in at least the samestate would be important for me to gauge the reality of the connection and commitmentof the relationship. I hope that answered your question :) Since you brought it up...Whatis your opinion of long distance relationships? Ever tried one?

I've already taken too much time on my friend's laptop so I will have end here. Lets saywe go to eat at a restaurant, and I order something and you order something...but I wantto try the something that you ordered because I think I might like it - I just want a taste :).Do you share your food? And would you like to travel abroad? Is there a place you'vealways wanted to see?

Blessings today,Ashleigh

P.S. I'm having my fill of tea :)

Hello Sweetie :)

Things are going well in my neck of the woods, it was a nice to just be able to relax a bitthis weekend and enjoy the fact that I am done with my exam. This morning though Icame back and realized just how much stuff I had not done because I was concentratingon the exam... I am really running pretty close to being swamped... especially since we


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have a guest researcher here who is hoping to be able to set a floor on fire by the end ofthe week (okay... so I love the pyro part of my job :) )

You sound like quite the trooper, I stayed awake for 22 hours and on the way home I hit aconstruction barrel with my car because I fell asleep... I am pretty sure that I could not

make it for 48 hours straight. I am glad that you are having fun though, one day I wouldlove to see England.

Thank you for the birthday wishes, I did have a wonderful birthday.

Well, I would love to keep writing, but you should prolly be enjoying being in Englandnot reading emails from guys in Michigan ;)...

I hope you have a blast :)Sweet dreams,Talk to you soon,

Rustin

Mornin' (with an English accent :)

I didn't fall asleep at the airport and we made it to London safely - no problems. I sleptreally well last night after having been up for close to 48 hours. I don't sleep at all thenight before I fly so it makes it easier adjusting to the jet lag. My friend and I had dessertin the city last night - we felt so classy walking around, taking the tube, practicing ourBritish accents. I'm having a great time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If my math is right it is now officially the 26th though you are stillsleeping and I am eating breakfast after a walk in the park. I hope the day is wonderful :)

You are sweet to write me again - I also enjoy any message from you, no matter thelength :)

Congrats too on the exam - I wasn't worried at all.

I have to go, we are going to miss our train, so I hope you have a great day and hopefullyI will be able to write again soon.

Ashleigh

Good evening Cutie,

Sorry that I went a bit AWOL on you yesterday, I knew that you were traveling so I tookadvantage of the fact that I did not think you would be able to check your email to brushup on some of the stuff for my exam, I hope you do not mind :). My exam went very


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well, they did ask me a few questions that I could not answer but that is the whole point...to test you until you hit a limit because they want to know where the limit is. All said anddone though I passed with only minor recommendations for things I need do to improvemy research. I was and am very pleased with how it went.

I do have to admit that I am a total dork, I passed that exam and went out the lab where Iam testing the concrete samples that I took last week when we cast the concrete at ou

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Hi There Ashleigh, :) I Hope You Are Having A