Host a Dinner Party

8/12/2019 Host a Dinner Party

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Michelle Welsch

dinner partythat eteveryonetalin.

Host a

Book design byMatt Radcliffe.
http://www.mattradcliffe.com/http://www.mattradcliffe.com/


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There isnt a better waytounite the peoplein your world thanby bringing them togetherto share food. New ideas,

magical stories, and a senseof belonging are by-productsof an evening well planned.

Im going to tell you how

to make this happen.


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Setting aside time to gatheraround a table sets the stage forcommunication, sharing, and

meaningful relationships. In our hecticworld, the value of community cannot beunderstated, and its easy to foster connectionsamong individuals with a little attentionand planning.

Once youve experienced it, you cant denythe electricity that encompasses a groupbreaking bread. My friend Michael Hebbdelivers a great edx talkon the importanceof creating dining situations that serve asbackdrops for quality discussion. In myown work, I look to amplify conversationsthat evolve when strangers discovermore similarities than differences.

But lets be honest: hosting can be filledwith anxiety and stress. Te last thing you

feel like doing after a long day at work isorganizing a party at your home. However,it doesnt have to be an anxiety-producingevent. In fact, it doesnt even have to be atyour home (more on the difference betweenhome-hosting and venue-finding later).

What you want: a range of individualssharing unique, inspiring stories. As host,you are the key to this outcome. Yourposition is to concoct an evening filled with
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-920dKlYUUhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-920dKlYUUhttp://www.projectexponential.com/


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curiosity and wonder. Its up to you to createa canvas for meaningful conversation. An

impresario, as Seth Godin rightfully declares.

o help you orchestrate an evening thatis equally enjoyable for you and yourguests, Ive shared some tips to help youon your way. With strategic planning anddeliberate focus, youll be the mastermindof an evening that will have guests sharingstories long after the evening has ended.

The value of community cannotbe understated.Use this e-book to plan a dinner event thatfacilitates worthwhile discussion, incitesvaluable relationships, and encourages

storytelling that turns strangers into friends.Teres even a handy checklist at the end

to remind you of whats important.
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/08/impresarios.htmlhttp://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/08/impresarios.htmlhttp://www.projectexponential.com/


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ContentsClick any section

Introduction2

Choosingyour theme 8

Extending invitations 9

Why seating arrangements matter10

Find the perfect setting 11

Budget 13

Create a welcoming environment14

Your perfect dinner party checklist 18

Click the page number on any page to return here.
http://www.projectexponential.com/


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NAME YOUR INTENT.

Introducing strangers at a wine bar is avery different experience than reunitingold friends at a backyard potluck. Beforeyou send out any invitations, consider thepurpose of your gettogether. Tis willunderline every step you take to ensure

your dinner is just as you imagine.Do you want to introduce individualsfrom different parts of your world (YogaInstructor, meet Financial Advisor!)or are you looking to foster a specificbusiness exchange (Fred, you and Sally

both serve small business owners)?

It is possible to:

Make introductions.

Encourage unexpected connections.

Foster meaningful conversation.

Solve creative problems.

It can be helpful to pinpoint a guiding staras you begin your plan. Tink about whatyoud like your evening to center around.


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Most importantly and before you readany further you must consider your ownrole for the evening. Tis requires honestselfassessment. Let me reiterate: be honest.

Remember, as an impresario, you set thetone for the evening. If youre puttingon airs or pretending to be comfortable

when youre really not, your guests willnotice. Te more authentic you can be,the more comfortable your guests willfeel to reveal their own quirky selves.

The more authentic you can be,the more comfortable your guests

will feel.Alongside authenticity, youll need to beup front regarding your capabilities as adinner host. Are you comfortable invitingpeople into your home? While your humbleabode may present organic intimacy absentfrom the neighborhood grill, inviting

people over can cause many individualsundue stress. Tis is not a bad thing, butit is important that you are honest aboutwhat you can and cannot provide.


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Do you want the freedom to focus on yourcompany without some of the responsibilities

of playing host? How can you participatefully in the way youre envisioning?

A WORD ON THEME.

Its easy to confuse intent with theme, but

your theme for the evening will emergefrom your intent. Once you have identifiedexactly what you want out of the evening,you can begin to go wild and crazy andcreative (or not) with your theme.

Note: While a theme is not necessary,it can help tie separate elements of yourevening together. For instance, if youchoose a travel theme, everything from themenu to the details on the place settingscan include an aspect of this motif.

Your theme can also be a helpful tool thatputs guests in a particular mind frame. Youcan use this to your advantage if you arelooking to accomplish something specificduring your time together, i.e., a brainstorm,a matchmaking session, or a reunion.

Once you have a general idea of yourmotives and the reason behind yourdinner gathering, you can start tothink about who should attend.


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INVITE THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

You may have an idea of the people youdlike to bring together before you figureout exactly why. Tis is absolutely OK.

As you begin to ask individuals tojoin you for an evening, think about

the group as a whole. Gestalt 101.

It is essential that you consider the energy,talents, and career trajectory of each attendee.Do they bring something unique to thetable? Are they an extravert, a foodie, aprankster? Its important to have a nice mixof personalities and energies that eithercomplement or fall into the same category,especially in an intimate environment.

Te people you invite to your dinner canvery well make or break your evening, no

matter how much planning youve done.

Alongside inviting the appropriatepersonalities, youll need to decide how bigof a party youre looking to organize. Adinner in which all are seated around one

table accomplishes something different than abanquet hall. While both scenarios (and therange between) are equally doable, you willhave different needs to consider as you workto create something special for all who attend.
http://graphicdesign.spokanefalls.edu/tutorials/process/gestaltprinciples/gestaltprinc.htmhttp://graphicdesign.spokanefalls.edu/tutorials/process/gestaltprinciples/gestaltprinc.htmhttp://www.projectexponential.com/


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Most importantly, give each guest theattention they deserve their work,

their personality, their tastes, their skills,their networks as you design a seatingarrangement that fills the air with magic.

DESIGN AN EFFECTIVESEATING ARRANGEMENT.

A seating arrangement is one of the easiestways to show your guests the attentionand care youve put into your evening. Itis a tool that enables you to ensure specificconnections are made. As the dinner

organizer, take advantage of this opportunity.Place cards are warm details that can helpyou achieve your vision for the evening.

Do you want to encourage peopleto meet others they arent familiarwith? Split up couples. Are youhoping to introduce individuals fromcomplementary fields of work?

Remember your intent. Tis will help youdetermine who sits where. People dont needto stay in the same spot all night, either.

Perhaps you switch seats after each course?


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More often than not, the size of your dinnerparty will be dictated by your space. Tus,

the environment you select for your dinneris just as important as your guest list.

PICK THE PERFECT SETTING.

Imagine: at last! Te evening has come.

Youve spent hours planning, the menu isperfect, and your seating chart is sparklingwith possibility. You sport your best outfit,ready to greet your guests with calm,confidant poise. Your smile is bright ---until you arrive. An unknown stranger

has settled at the head of the table, andyou arent sure why or how he is there.

You didnt invite this person, but he iseverywhere. Hes staring at your coworkersand is in your friends faces. His merepresence changes the taste of the food and

the topics people feel comfortable discussing.

Your environment is the guest who hasalready been invited.

Whether youre hosting a dinner in your

home or organizing your evening at a nearbyeatery, carefully regard the space and theoptions available to you. Recall your intent.


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Did you envision a private, intimategathering? Are you comfortable inviting

a group to your home? Your dining roomwill have a differentjoie de vivrethanreservations at the neighborhood grill.

Te key is to find a space that complementswhat you are hoping to create among

your guests. Tings like lighting andnoise levels can act as additions (orsubtractions) from the overall experience.

Find a space that complementswhat you are hoping to createamong your guests.If you are hosting in your home, you will

have to plan for clean up and set up, or askyour guests for help. If you have other thingson the agenda, you may not want to worryabout serving, fussing over dishes, makingsure the trash is taken out, or listeningfor latecomers to ring the door bell.

If youve decided to venture down therestaurant route, ask if the establishment hasa private dining area. A reserved table sendsa different signal to guests than a public table


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in the main dining room. Keep in mindrestaurants may require a deposit to hold the

room or insist on serving aprix fixemenu.

Tis is when you need to consider the

costs involved with your evening.

WHAT IS YOUR BUDGET?

Tere are upsides and downsides to hostinga party in your home. Cost is a majorfactor. By instructing others to contributeto the meal, you can drastically reduceyour overall spending for the evening.

If youre choosing to use a venue, the overallspending budget can appear a bit more cutand dry. Obviously, treating your guests is onething, but if youre instructing them to paytheir own way, you must be up front aboutthe menu and cost expectations beforehand.

Many restaurants have minimum spends forprivate rooms and tack on service fees forlarge parties.

Dont overlook the hassle of splitting upa bill at the end of the evening. Awkwardwallet fumbling is not the way you wantto end an evening. Plan beforehandto save everyone embarrassment.


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CHOOSE THE RIGHT FOOD.

Another potentially embarrassing situation:dietary restrictions. Teres no buzz killquite like discovering a guests diet preventsthem from eating anything being served.

Te food you serve plays an important

part in your evening. It is also a greatway to bring your theme to the table. Askeveryone to bring a dish from a certaincountry or find a local restaurant that cantell you the story behind your meal.

Remember your intent: Are you looking tocreate a more formal or relaxed setting? A five-star restaurant and a cooking lesson in yourapartment are both great, but very different.

MAKE SURE EVERY ONEFEELS WELCOME.

Its up to you to set ground rules for theevening and ensure each of your guestsfeels respected and valued. Tis can beachieved through your introductions andthe activities you plan for the evening.

Yes, activities.

Activities are your friends.


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In fact, thank you notes are just asimportant as the initial invitations.

Tank each and everyone person fortheir contribution and their time.

Your follow up note also providesthe prime moment to make sure theconnections you had imagined took place.

Ask your guest if there was someonethey met that felt connected to, if theyreplanning on getting together again, andif theres anything you can do to help.

Graciousness cannot beunderstated.Youll want to make sure everyonereceived each others contact information,

but this can be a tricky area. No onewants to feel obligated to connect.Sometimes a good evening can be justthat, a good evening. You dont need toadd more to dos to anyones list.

If you have another dinner party in theworks, your follow up is a great timeto insert a save the date message intoeveryones calendar. Energy is often

high right after a party. Ride it.


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REWARD YOURSELF FORA JOB WELL DONE.

Your phone will surely be buzzingwith thanks, and your inbox dingingwith emails from grateful friends.

An important lesson I learned as a mental

health professional: you cant be present forothers if you cant be present for yourself.

Now that the planning and evening is over,take time to re-energize. Entertaining canbe draining, so youll want to refresh andrenew yourself. reat yourself to somethingspecial a massage, a workout, a visit tothe local bookstore, a movie. You deserve it!

Ten start planning your next dinner.

Your guests will be waiting with eager

anticipation for your next invitation.


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INTENTWhat is my reason for bringingpeople together?

What would I like to happenduring the evening?

Am I hoping for a specificoutcome?

THEME

Will a theme help further myintent?

Is there an umbrella idea that cantie elements together?

INVITATIONS

Are there certain people I want tointroduce?

Will guests energies complementand inspire?

SEATINGCHART

Are there certain individuals whoneed to meet?

How do peoples personalities mixand match?

SETTING

Am I comfortable inviting gueststo my home?

How many people can Iaccommodate?

Is a private dining area an option?

Your perfect dinnerparty checklist:

BUDGETWhat is my budget for theevening?

What do I expect my gueststo contribute?

FOOD

Does anyone have dietaryrestrictions?

How will the menu affect theexperience?

ACTIVITIES

Are there certain topics I want to

discuss?

How can I make all guests feelwelcome?

Do I have tokens or gifts to share?

FOLLOW UP

Have I thanked everyoneappropriately?

Did everyone exchange contactinformation?

Will I plan another dinner?

SELF CARE

Can I make the next one evenbetter?

Do I feel satisfied?

How am I going to treat myself?


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ABOUT PROJECT EXPONENTIAL

Our lives are increasingly intertwined, yet thetime and space for us to cultivate meaningfulconnections have become scarce.

Project Exponential examines the ways inwhich we connect and form relationships,both online and off. It recognizes those

who triumph, who add something specialto their world, who leave a trace of good intheir wake.

We introduce industries with complementarygoals and start conversations that matter. We

curate events based on unique talents andskills, working carefully to create memorableexperiences.

Find people who can inspire and challengeyou to grow. Meet someone who can enhanceyour work and encourage you to question,try, fail, succeed, and develop the connectionsaround you.

Learn more about Project Exponential byvisiting ourwebsite.
http://projectexponential.com/http://projectexponential.com/


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michelle introduces successful and drivenpersonalities, creating unexpected relationshipsin places others have failed to see.

Whether private dinners or large conferences,she uses the magic of surprise andserendipity to develop unique platforms for

individuals to learn more about themselvesand do better work. Relying on clinicalcredentials and psychology training,Michelle expertly connects strangers,brands, and businesses, turning firstimpressions into lasting relationships.

Michelle holds a Bachelor of Artsin Psychology from the Universityof Colorado, a Masters degree fromColumbia University, and is a New YorkState Licensed Master Social Worker.

Learn more by visiting Michelleswebsite.
http://www.michellewelsch.com/http://www.michellewelsch.com/

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Host a Dinner Party