How do you solve a problem like Maria? · How do you solve a problem like Maria? Or should that be… ‘Let Meirion solve your problem!’ Rodgers and Hammerstein’s last ever musical

Meirion Shaw, The Homemover ©2019 P a g e | 2

How do you solve a problem like Maria? Or should that be… ‘Let Meirion solve your problem!’

Rodgers and Hammerstein’s last ever musical together opened on Broadway in 1959 and London in 1961. It was adapted for film in 1965, becoming the third biggest grossing film ever. It’s still a classic.

I saw the film when I was young and it has remained a firm favourite ever since.

Whilst writing this ‘little book of downsizing’ I found many of the song titles jumping into my head, so I hope you’ll forgive the liberty I’ve taken with the chapter headings! Feel free to hum along if it takes your fancy!

Growing up I was a bit like ‘Maria’ - always with best intensions but getting into scrapes. However, these days I’ve applied my unique take on problem solving to helping people downsize.

Let me explain a bit more about me. I am Meirion Shaw and I live in Surrey with my husband Tim, our three children and our overly friendly dog.

Having worked in marketing and consultancy for multinational consumer businesses before a career break for the children, I always wondered what I would do ‘when I grew up’.

Little Book of Downsizing: The Sound of Moving

Whilst helping my mother-in-law downsize, I realised how much time and energy, both physical and emotional, goes into moving house; and why it was so stressful.

Taking this unnecessary stress out of property moves has become my ‘thing’ and, having set up The Homemover Specialist in 2012, I now have an amazing team of people working alongside me doing just that.

Some of our clients need help with finding the right place to move to; some with decluttering years of living in the same house; some with general organisation; and some just need some emotional support making a major life change.

And everyone loves our help with unpacking boxes and putting everything away.

I’ve discovered that no-one does solve the ‘downsizing problem’ quite like we do, and my aim is to help as many people as possible.

I just don’t believe that moving needs to be as stressful as it can become. Quite the opposite in fact. Our clients have discovered that downsizing can be a liberating and enjoyable experience. You just need the right support!


“I am 16 going on 17”

Ralph romances Liesl in the summerhouse


1 I am sixty going on seventy

So, which of these scenarios sounds most like you? All these are genuine comments from previous clients

40 years of clutter

“We moved when our children were small; now they’ve got grown up children of their own. But not only have we got all our stuff, but we’ve got theirs and, everything we inherited from our parents!

I walk into a room, or open a drawer, and think I just can’t face this and shut it again. I just don’t know where to start and I don’t have the energy or strength to do it anyway.

Every time it comes up in conversation with the kids, they try to take over, which makes me feel irrelevant, which makes me dig my heels in, and everyone gets so frustrated.”

40 years of memories

“We moved into the house months before our daughter was born. I’ve kept everything from her first shoes to every school report and piece of artwork.

That’s where she fell out of the kitchen window and broke her collar bone; and that’s where we celebrated our golden wedding anniversary.

Which memories am I supposed to leave behind? They’re all I’ve got left of me? I’ve got hundreds of photos. I’ve got cupboards full of memories and I need them all.”


I’m 40 years older than when I last moved

“I’ve been on my own for a few years now and I’ve been totally fine looking after myself, the house and garden but this winter, it’s just become a bit much.

When we last moved, my husband and I did everything together. I live a long way from the kids but they’ve got their own lives and whilst I know they’ll want to help me, I don’t want to be a burden.

What am I going to do with all my furniture? What will fit in my new home? Where am I going to move to? How do I stop the utilities and broadband?

Apart from anything, I’m just not physically strong enough to carry everything to the charity shop?”

I’m 40 years too young to move, I’m just not ready

“I look at people in the retirement homes and they are there because they obviously need a lot of help. They seem really old, and whilst I’m only a few years younger, I’m definitely not that old yet!

We still use the house and garden extensively and will do forever. But…I do realise that one day one of us might be on our own, or might need a lot more help, so we should start planning for the day when it is too much for one of us.”

You may be 60 going on 70 or even 80 going on 90! After all, it’s only a number. Whatever your situation, it’s never too early to start a declutter.


“Let’s start at the very

beginning” Maria introduces the Von Trapp children

to singing with Do Re Mi


2 Let’s start at the very beginning… Before you even start, it’s worth getting organised – practically AND emotionally.

For the practical side, start by making a list – a very long list:

1. List every single piece of furniture in your house, room by room, and measure it so you can work out if the furniture you wish to take will actually fit in your new home

2. List all of your artwork, valuables, collections, items of high emotional value that you need to whether to take with you, give away to family, sell or donate to charity

It might be set out to look a bit like this…

Item

Size

Destination

Sitting Room

3 seater sofa 6ft 10” x 3ft Charity

Recliner chair 3ft3’ x 3ft3” New flat – sitting room

Grandma’s bureau 3ft3” x 2ft Daughter

Nest of tables To be sold

Books 26ft Only 4ft in new flat

Rest to be sold/given away

By the time you move, everything on this list will have a destination or will have gone, and you will have stayed in control.


“ My favourite things”

Maria helps the children overcome their fear of the thunderstorm


3 My favourite things Now you need to be emotionally prepared too - because you know you can’t take everything with you!

At the end of your move, the ideal is to be surrounded only by things that you either love or you use.

Just because you found room for everything your parents left you, it doesn’t mean they all need to make this move with you.

Asking the right questions … When you are decluttering or working out what to take with you - and what you can leave behind – we suggest you ask yourself these questions

1. Do I love it? Does it make me smile or my heart warm every time I see it?

2. Do I use it? Really? Have I actually used it in the last 12 months?

3. Do I have other items that serve the same purpose?

4. Am I keeping it because I feel guilty about how much I spent on it or because it was a gift and I feel I “should” keep it?

If the answer is yes to 1. and 2., then keep it.

If the answer to 3. is yes, then you don’t need to keep everything, think long and hard about which you “need” the most – emotionally or practically

If the answer to 4. is yes, then it’s time to find a way around the guilt. It’s the perfect time to pass items onto the next generation, sell them or donate them to charity for other people to use.


For example: if your daughter gave you a present which you feel guilty not taking with you, give it back to her with a… “I love this but there’s just no room for it, so I’m giving it back to you to love instead”

Another example: the outfit you wore to your daughter’s wedding, so many happy memories even though it’ll never fit again. Ask yourself …….

1. Do I love it? YES – so keep it because every time you open your wardrobe and you see it, you’ll smile and think of your daughter’s wedding

2. Do I use it? Admit you haven’t worn it since the wedding and realistically you never will. Maybe it’s time for it to have another life? So sell it or donate it to charity

3. Do I have other items that serve the same purpose? Maybe you have lots of photos of the wedding that bring back those happy memories too so you don’t need to keep the outfit.

4. Are you keeping it because you spent a fortune on it and you feel wasteful not having worn it more? So sell it or donate it to charity and let them benefit from the price of its sale!’

It’s your choice, but please be honest when you ask the 4 questions. Start with the most important things and keep those.

From experience, I know it’s easier to do this with someone else, a member of the family or a friend or a professional. Just make sure that you make the decisions and not be “bullied” into the one your “helper” thinks is right.


“Climb Every Mountain”

The Mother Superior urges Maria to have faith to overcome the challenges ahead


4 Climb every mountain It doesn’t matter how overwhelming it seems, every issue does have a solution. It just needs to be broken down into manageable bitesize pieces.

Start with a drawer, or a shelf in a cupboard, or in the cupboard under the stairs. All are likely to be full of things unseen - and unused - for decades and can all be rehomed to the charity shop, or binned.

Find everything that is similar – like your crockery, dinner services and tea sets. Put them all onto the kitchen table and be really honest with yourself about which ones you actually use, which ones you like and how many you really need. And then rehome the rest.

For everything in the useful drawers, my rule of thumb is, if it’s a “just in case” item that you can replace it for less than £20 – and in less than 20 minutes - don’t hang onto it, donate it!

And if in doubt, put it to one side and come back to it later. You’ll either have found room for it by then or know there’s not enough room and be ready to “rehome” it.


“I have confidence!”

Marai arrives at the Von Trapp house to take up the new role of Governess


5 I have confidence! You are likely to need some help along the way. And you need to feel confident in the tradespeople you work with. Always remember that you are the client – especially with estate agents!

The people you are likely to need on your journey …

1. Estate agent

2. Conveyancing solicitor

3. Chartered surveyor

4. Auction house

5. House clearance

6. “eBay” seller

7. Removals company

8. Charities

9. The Homemover Specialist / The Unpackers

And where to find these people …

1. Your own network of trusted friends and family

2. The Homemover Specialist’s little black book of trusted suppliers

3. Google and the internet

4. Trade Associations


“How do you solve a problem like Maria”

Maria’s fellow sisters despair at her lateness and unsuitability for convent life


6 How do you solve the problem like … Overwhelm

Write a list and then start with your sock drawer (or something easy)

Boredom

Stop and do something else – put your favourite music on and dance round the room for 5 minutes. It’s a great de-stresser! Or have a cup of tea and watch Pointless (other TV programs are available)

Overzealous friends

If friends/family are offering to help, say ‘yes please’, but be careful as you need to be able to stay in control. The things you take must to be your choice not theirs, so beware of good intentions turning into bullying.

Exhaustion

Stop! Put the kettle on, do something else or sit down and read a book. Work on specific objectives in short concentrated chunks of time. No longer than 2 hours!

Getting stuck

Write whatever you’re stuck on, on a piece of paper and forget about it. The solution will come to you when you’re least expecting it. And if it doesn’t, ask yourself the 4 vital questions (see chapter 3) and, if that doesn’t help, call me!


“So long! Farewell!”

The Von Trapp children enchant guests at their father’s ball


7

So long, farewell … Change of address and paperwork This is the opportunity to only keep the paperwork you really need.

1. Fill in the Royal Mail Postal Forwarding service for 12 months

2. Make a list of account numbers and companies that you need to advise of a change of address

3. Make sure anything with your name or any financial information on it is shredded not just torn up and binned.

Insurance policies Only keep the current ones. All the others are out of date and not needed anymore

Bank statements Do you bank online? If so, and you feel comfortable, then shred the lot. If this makes you anxious, then keep the last couple of years and shred the rest.

Medical history Keep the relevant information only not information leaflets. The notes at the surgery should be complete, but keep letters from consultants, test results for your own information.

Financial investments The general guideline from HMRC for keeping financial paperwork is 22 months, but if you’ve gifted money then it’s 7 years. If you have a financial advisor, then it’s likely their records will all be on line and easy to access in the future.

Children’s school reports: Give them to the children!

Memberships Only the current ones


Utilities …

Phone / TV / Broadband As soon as you’ve exchanged, let your supplier know your moving and set up new accounts to start at your new home

Gas/Electricity Often can be done online. Take photographs of meter readings on the day of completion and close your accounts. If you know the name of the new owner, then advise the supplier.

Council tax Often can be done online up to 4 weeks before the move

Buildings / contents insurance After exchange, advise them you’re moving. Set up buildings insurance on new property on exchange. Write a list of contents being moved and estimated value for new contents quote

Car Send your V5 form and driver’s license to DVLA to be updated with new address. Advise insurance company and “AA”

Water If there’s a water meter, give at least 48 hours’ notice of your move so they can arrange for the meter to be read

TV license Can be done online. Even whilst it’s free, you need to advise them of change of address


“Something Good”

The Captain finally proclaims his love for Maria


8 Something Good

And if you decide that it’s all too much for you and your support network, then ask us for help. Here are some things that people have said about working with The Homemover, in case you’re thinking about it …..

_____________________

Dear Meirion and Louise – what can I say?! Thank you both so much for your hard work, patience and good humour during the recent move. Sam and I are so grateful to you both for guiding us through a really stressful and emotional time. I hope you will keep

in touch. Thank you so much. With best wishes

Morag

_____________________

I simply don’t know what we would have done without you and your team. We were both totally overwhelmed at the prospect of

moving, and your calm efficient yet great fun way of handling complicated situations kept us on the right path and sane.

Your help in guiding us what to keep and how to sell and give away the rest was invaluable and your help in unpacking and

organising everything in Cobham was superb.

Thank you also for your empathy and patience whilst helping James rationalise his study and for the new filing system.

You’re a star.

Marian


_____________________

Hello Meirion - I'm Mary’s daughter. I just wanted to send you a quick email to say thank you for the most wonderful job you have done with my parents. To come to the house today straight from the airport with my parents, with it looking so immaculate, all the

beds made up, food in the fridge, flowers, and soap in the bathrooms was a complete joy,

I really can't thank you and Sarah enough, you have done the most incredible job. There is just no way my parents could have done this, especially my mum, my sister or me as we both are

bogged down with jobs and small children, it would have taken weeks and weeks.

I nearly wept with relief when we entered the house (that I had never seen before) and even my mum’s dressing gown hanging on the bedroom door and her handcream by the bed, it was just

incredible.

My parents are not always that good at articulating how happy they or, or saying it anyway, but we are all so grateful, you are

complete miracle workers! Thank you so much!

Alex

_____________________


And finally, good luck…

So, good luck with your move.

I really hope it’s plain sailing and these little nuggets of advice help to make things a little easier.

I am serious when I say that taking the unnecessary stress out of moving IS possible.

It’s all about getting the planning right and controlling what you can.

Chat with Meirion… Moving people is most definitely my thing.

And if you need someone to help you – or someone else – to downsize I’d be delighted to be there for you.

If you’d like an informal conversation with me about your upcoming move; or if you have already decided that you’d like some help to extend your limited time and energy, please contact me to find out how I can make your move happier, healthier – and a LOT more FUN!

www.thehomemover.co.uk/contact Main office: 01483 255895


First Edition 2019 First published in Great Britain 2019

Copyright Meirion Shaw 2019

Contact the author: [email protected]

www. thehomemover.co.uk

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How do you solve a problem like Maria? · How do you solve a problem like Maria? Or should that be… ‘Let Meirion solve your problem!’ Rodgers and Hammerstein’s last ever musical