How Jesus taught me to Forgive and Love

How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love1

How Jesus taught me to Forgive & Love 2


HOW JESUS TAUGHT ME TO

FORGIVE&

LOVE



HOW JESUS TAUGHT ME TO

FORGIVE&

LOVE(Sharing of Experience)

George Ettuparayil

www.kottayamflowers.com

Kottayam2010


HOW JESUS TAUGHT ME TOFORGIVE &LOVE

GEORGE ETTUPARAYIL

Author’s Address:George.N.X, Ettuparayil Near Police Club, Collectorate.P.O. Kottayam – 686 002, Kerala, India.

E-mail : [email protected]

Published By : www.kottayamflowers.com

Copyright : Author

Cover : Milen Jacob (www.gratiads.com)

You can read this book through www.forgiveandlove.com &

You can buy this book through www.kottayamflowers.comVerisign secure


Foreword : Palai K.M.Mathew

Preface

CONTENTS

PART ONE

How Jesus Taught Me to Overcome

My Hatred

1. “With My prayers you will not overcome your hatred”

2. See God through Jesus Christ

3. Countdown to my repentance

4. What I have to search for?

5. Thirst for the Holy Spirit

6. How can I receive the Holy Spirit?

7. With the help of Jesus I ask for forgiveness

PART TWO

How Jesus Taught Me to Forgive

1. Scared to open the Book of Genesis

2. What God said to Adam?

3. What the Devil told Eve

4. God never punished Adam and Eve

5. How much the Devil controlled Me!

6. God’s Righteousness


PART THREE

How Jesus Taught Me to Love

1. My Great Fall

2. How I can receive God’s love and Jesus in my Spirit

3. Rubbing Gold

4. People who live for the Lord

5. A mind to Love

6. For what purpose did God create me?

7. If God never punishes

8. Forgive us the wrongs

9. Eternal life

10. Whoever does not believe will be condemned

11. The Last Supper

12. “So if you are about to offer your gift to God at the altar”

13. A Prayer of Thanks

14. How I can love God

15. Lamenting God

Prayer


Dedicated To My Grand Mothers

Aleyamma George Baby Thomas Ettuparayil Vachaparambil

I dedicate this book to my father’s mother who had told us theloving stories of Jesus Christ in our childhood and to my mother’smother who had inspired me with the story of Dominic Savio andtold me to live for the Lord.


(My Grandmother with blessed Mother Teresa)

During my school days I was able to meet Mother

Teresa at the Bishop House of Vijayapuram Diocese

at Kottayam. I got the opportunity to spend some

time with Mother. She told me that “God loves you

and you have to live for the Lord.”


Foreword

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Jesus Christ prayed when they crucified him on the Skull Place

along with the two criminals.

In this liberating and enriching book, “How Jesus Taught me to

Forgive & Love,” the author George Ettuparayil shows us how to tap

into the power of our higher selves and live happily, regardless of

what our profession or work is, with a greater sense of peace and

fulfilment.

The author reveals the essential steps to help us understand how

to overcome the great evil of hatred and how we can change our way

of life, rejecting our hateful and sinful thoughts and feelings totally.

This book discusses hatred and malice — physical, emotional

and spiritual — and helps us understand why we suffer from this and

how we can cope with it successfully by uplifting ourselves into a

life of “Forgiveness and love.” The book is most valuable in restor-

ing our soul in today’s self-seeking culture that teaches us hatred,

selfishness and combat.

Inspiring, illuminating and uplifting, “Forgiveness & love” make

the sincere words of this young writer help us find the true beauty of

love and compassion in human life. I wish him all success in his

noble endeavours.

Pala K.M.Mathew

August, 2009



Preface

From my childhood I used to dream a lot. But in my life I never

dreamt of writing a book. I struggled with hatred with one of my

relatives for more than twelve years. It was like living in an air-

conditioned room with a rotten rat. When I shared my experiences

with one of my friends, Father Michael Panachikkal about how Jesus

Christ helped me to get rid of my hatred, he told me to write this

experience in a book.

I was surprised to hear this from Father Michael, because writing

a book is not at all a feasible dream. And in my life so far I have

never even read a novel. I shared this opinion with Father, and then

Father replied, “When we first met, you told me that your desire is to

get rid of your hatred. With the help of Jesus you have overcome

your hatred, now with the help of Jesus you try to write the book.”

This book was written with the help of Jesus Christ. The chapters

of Mathew, Mark, Luke and John in the New Testament and the

chapters referring to Adam and Eve, in the Genesis chapter of the

Old Testament from the Holy Bible and the story of the people who

lived for Jesus Christ helped me to write this book. The messages

about Jesus I heard from spiritual people also helped me in writing

this book.

When the first part of the book was shown to my friend Bobban,

he said, “Giju (my relatives and friends call me Giju), how can you

say God is love and see a loving God in your financial failure?”

I replied to my friend in this way, “When I first heard from Father

Michel the message that God never punishes, even though, I was

not able to receive that message at that time, I never rejected it.


The message about Jesus I received in my childhood from my par-

ents, relatives, catechism, Jesuits magazine’ ‘Snehasena’ and the

movie about Jesus, helped me not to reject the fact that God never

punishes.”

But when I grew up, I started to believe that God is love but also

punishes, and I believed that God is a person who is keeping the

records of the wrongs of the people.

During my financial crisis, I was sleepless because of the ten-

sion. At that time I didn’t know what will happen the next day. During

this fearful time I started to see God through Jesus Christ’s work.

When I started to walk with Jesus he helped me to get rid of my

hatred and taught me to forgive and to love others.

I am sharing this experience with you in this book.

When I was able to get out of my hatred, my 14-year-old daughter

Mekha said, “Appa, how were you able to get rid of your hatred?” On

another occasion when I told my 8-year-old son Mikhale that he has

to pray for others to fill them with the Holy Spirit, he said, “how will I

receive the Holy Spirit when I pray for others?” These instances

influenced me to write this book.

The raw form of the book was first read by my father N.G. Xavier

and my wife Binu. The title, “How Jesus Taught Me to Forgive &

Love” was selected by my wife. She knows that it was only because

of Jesus that I was able to get rid of my hatred.

I am deeply indebted to Father Michael Panachikkal for making

me write this book and to our neighbour Mr. Pala K.M.Mathew (scholar,

writer, former Member of Indian Parliament) who after reading the

book asked me to publish it.

Besides these two eminent men of society, I am equally obliged

to our neighbour Mrs.June Jose Kudakasseril (Vice Principal

Pallikoodam School, Kottayam) for encouraging me whole-heartedly.

She has spent a lot of her valuable time in editing this work.


I thank Mr.K.M.Mathew, the Chief Editor of the Malayala

Manorama newspaper for releasing the Malayalam version. My thanks

also goes to Mr. K. Babu Joseph, former Vice Chancellor of Cochin

University, Kerala for valuable inputs.

I also thank Mr. Jose T.Thomas (Former Chief News Editor,

Deepika Daily), my uncle Mr.M.P. Ommen, my father’s brother

Mr.N.G.John (Film Producer) and Mr.Mathew George, Mr. Thomas

George, Kadamapuzha Chackochen (Retired Prof. of Loyola Col-

lege, Chennai), Thomas Thoppil (Retd. Prof. of St.Thomas College,

Pala), Joshy Mathew (Film Director), Molly Mathew, and my friends

Boban, Bose, Raju, Shibu, Sajan, Tony, Mathew, Prasanthipe, Unni,

Sodher and my brother Sunil George Melamparambil.

The edition of the Bible referred to, in this is the Good News Bible

of St.Pauls (India). I thank St.Pauls (India).

I thank Mini Surendran and Rathi G Nair for DTP work.

I thank our staff in our Boutique Threads & Petals.

I thank readers of the Malayalam version of this book.

I thank Milen for designing the cover page and also my friend

Arun R for designing the website.

I don’t know how to thank my Master, Jesus Christ, for not only

helping me to shed my hatred but also helping me to narrate my

experiences.

George Ettuparayil

Kottayam



HOW JESUS TAUGHT METO OVERCOME MY

HATRED

I



“With my prayers you willnot overcome your Hatred”

Years ago I was attending a spiritual retreat at the Divine Centre

at Muringoor, Kerala (India). The person who was counselling me

said, “Giju, you have hatred in your mind.” At that time I was not

able to accept this fact.

Later, I had an opportunity to meet Fr. Arayathanal (Chackochen)

at the Paritrana Retreat Centre in Kottayam, my hometown. With

the help of Fr. Arayathanal, when I looked at myself as Jesus Christ

would have done I found that I was on the wrong side of life. Jesus

pointed out the intense hatred in me. From that moment onwards, I

had a great desire to overcome it.

At Paritrana, I became a member of the prayer meeting conducted

by Fr. Michael Panachikkal. This meeting turned out to be a great

experience to me.

One day Fr. Michael Panachikkal, asked me my opinion of God.

“God is Love. He is very kind. That is my picture of God.” I

replied.

“Is that your personal opinion?” he said.

“Why, Father, are you trying to corner me?” I asked.

“Nothing like that,” he said.

“Actually, if you want to know my opinion, it is quite the opposite

to what I have told you,” I replied. “God wants us to forgive others

I


who have wronged us, but God never forgives us if we do something

wrong. What we are taught about God’s nature is that God is Love,

but he punishes us if we do wrong. This is confusing and I cannot

understand God’s nature. And because of this, I cannot love him.”

Fr. Michael said, “Thank you, Giju, for speaking from your heart.

Actually, you have never known Jesus Christ and so you have never

known God.”

I interrupted hastily “But Father, I pray, read

the Bible every day and attend Holy Mass twice


a week. I go for prayer meetings once a week. So how can you tell

me that I do not know Jesus?”

He looked at me compassionately and said, “One day, you will

start experiencing God Almighty through his son Jesus Christ, and

only then will you realize that God is Love.”

For me, that was a new revelation to see God through Jesus

Christ. From the time I was small, I have only looked at God through

the good and bad life experiences that I have had.

After this discussion, I was able to attend the Logos retreat con-

ducted by Fr. Michael. It was a new experience. What I heard there

was that if I, start to see God through his son Jesus Christ, then I

would discover that God is a loving father and not a punishing God.

Even though I liked this message, my head was not ready to accept

this. Still, at that very moment, I did accept that message in my

heart.

At that time I was running a factory and going through severe


financial problems. I shared this with Fr. Michael. After listening to

me, he said, “Your problem is not financial or your hatred for others.

Your real problem is your misunderstanding about God. You don’t

believe in the God shown to us by Jesus Christ. Only when you

start to believe in this God, will you get rid of your problems and

overcome your hatred.”

Even though I had heard this message several times through the

Your real problemis your misunder-standing about God.

cassettes I had listened to, I was

still unable to see God through

Jesus Christ. Because, you see,

my mind was programmed to

see God only through my life

experiences.

Several weeks later, I attended

a spiritual retreat in Trivandrum, Kerala. It was a fasting retreat,

where we neither ate food or drank water for a few days.

The priest at the Retreat Centre said, “Giju, what is your real

problem? Is it financial?”

I replied, “Father, my real problem is that I hate someone. I re-

quest you to pray for me so that I can overcome this hatred.”

But Father replied, “No Giju, even with my prayers, you will not be

able to overcome that.”

I said, “Father when you pray, people are freed from their illness

and their financial problems disappear. I am not asking you to pray

for my financial problems to disappear; I only want this hatred to get

out of my heart.”

“Giju, when others ask for prayers to solve their problems, I do

pray for them. You are asking me to pray for you to overcome your

hatred. This is one of the most important problems of mankind. No

one can overcome their hatred with someone else’s prayers,” said


Father kindly.

“Jesus told us to forgive and to love one another. But, I am un-

able to get rid of this hatred. In this context, how can I believe God

and how can I believe He exists?” I said.

“It is only when a person starts experiencing Jesus Christ, then

only will he be able to overcome hatred. And that is the real bless-

ing from the Almighty,” said Father.

Another day, when I shared my problems with my uncle, he too

told me, “It is only when Jesus Christ comes into your life, that your

problems will vanish. Your problem is that you have not yet received

Jesus into your life.”

One day I even asked my father whether he knew of anyone who

had overcome hatred. He replied, “So far…..nobody.”

Whenever I met someone and asked them to pray for me to over-

come my hatred, their answer was always the same. “Try to get to

know Jesus Christ and He only can help you.”

So to get to know Jesus Christ, I took the New Testament of the

Holy Bible.



“See God through Jesus Christ”

During my financial crisis, I started to see God through Jesus

Christ. Jesus Christ’s words in the chapters of Mathew, Mark, Luke

& John in the New Testament helped me to see God through Jesus

Christ. Cassette messages and the book written by Fr. Michael

Panachikkal helped me to understand the words of the Lord.

2


From my childhood I believed that God is always with the rich,

powerful and famous people and I thought that he is not at all both-

ered about the poor and downtrodden. But when I went through the

passage narrating Jesus’ birth (Luke 2:8-14), I never found a God

that I had known from my childhood. Joseph was not a powerful

man. He was a carpenter. Mary was also a simple woman. Jesus

was not born in a palace or a mansion but only in a manger.

To my surprise the news about Jesus’ birth was first announced

by God through angels not to any scholars of that time, but to the

shepherds.

Zacchaeus was a tax collector. He never expected Jesus would

talk to him. But when Jesus came near the sycamore tree, where

Zacchaeus was sitting, he looked up and said, “Hurry down

Zacchaeus, because I must stay in your house today.”

Even though Zacchaeus was rich and powerful, he was not at all

accepted by the elite community. That’s why the word says (Luke

19:7): All the people who saw it started grumbling, “This man has

gone as a guest to the home of a sinner!”

Here Jesus never questioned, showed anger or criticized

Zacchaeus. Tasting this heavenly love Zacchaeus repented. From

my childhood I believed that God is a person who is sitting with all

the records of the wrongs of a person. From this incident in Jesus’

life I could not find the God I believed in.

As a child I believed that if man sees God, he will run away be-

cause of his fear of Him. But Jesus showed a God coming into the

midst of human beings. He showed that God has no problem in

living with people. Through Jesus I saw that man can live with God.

When I started to walk with Jesus Christ, I understood that what I

believed about God was wrong.

Two thousand years ago in Palestine, a woman caught in adul-

tery was to be stoned to death according to the Law of Moses. But


when a woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus Christ,

he said, “Who you have not sinned can throw the first stone at her.”

Man without sin has the right to judge. Jesus Christ, the son of

God showed that God never punishes, but only saves. Through these

acts of Jesus I started to change my opinion about God.

With the help of Jesus I started to read the parable about the

prodigal son in a totally different way. When I started to walk with

Jesus, the return assumed a different significance in my life.

(Luke 15:20) “He was still a long way from home when his father

saw him: seeing his younger son return his heart was filled with

pity.” Jesus showed me that the Father has no anger or vengeance

or bitterness towards his younger son who destroyed all the assets

his father had given him, and Jesus continued, “And he ran, threw

his arms round his son, and kissed him.” This is the first time in my

life that I saw a forgiving, loving, almighty God. After tasting the

forgiving love of the father the son said: “Father, I have sinned against

God and against you. I am no longer fit to be called your son.” The

father’s response surprised me. He never punished, criticized or

threw away his son; instead Jesus continued, “But the father called

his servants. Hurry!” he said, “Bring the best robe and put it on him.

Put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Then go and get the

prize calf and kill it, and let us celebrate with a feast.” Here was a

father celebrating the return of his prodigal son.

Through this parable, Jesus showed me a heavenly Father who

would celebrate if I threw away all my misunderstandings and re-

turned to Him.

During the time of Jesus, people infected with certain diseases,

were not allowed to come out in public. Leprosy was such a dis-

ease. When they came out, they had to cover the body with a cloth

and they rang a bell so that others knew that a leper was coming.

When a leper sees a person coming his way, the diseased person


has to move away from the path. People thought that God had

cursed these people. The public even stoned them.

But 2000 years ago when these unwanted people cried to Jesus

for mercy, he didn’t punish or curse them. Instead he cured their

diseases.

If these diseases were a result of the curse from God, then the

Son of God would not have cured these people. This was a new

insight for me.

Again when I had gone through the words of God, Jesus’ love for

kids touched me. Once Jesus was sitting with some older people.

Some children were attracted by Jesus and went towards him. Then

some elders stopped them. What surprised me is that Jesus asked

them to allow the children to come and played with them. He told

them to learn from the children, because their love was innocent and

sincere. Jesus never asked the children to learn from grown-up people,

because we adults do something for others and expect some favors

in return. Our love is not at all sincere.

If a person is able to receive Jesus’ teachings in his or her child-

hood, he will never allow himself to get away from his message

later, no matter what the situation may be. That’s why he asked the

elders to send the children to him. During his childhood, if a person

is able to realize that God never punishes but only loves, then the

person will be able to get rid of his “fear of God.” The wrong knowl-

edge about God, that He is a punishing God that I received during

my childhood is the root cause of all my fears.

Jesus was arrested like an outlaw. The high priest tore his clothes.

Pilate’s soldiers made a crown out of thorny branches and placed it

on his head and put a stick in his right hand. They knelt before him

and mocked him. They spat on him and took the stick and hit him

over the head.

Even though there was no evidence to prove that Jesus was guilty,


he was sentenced to be crucified. On carrying the cross they of-

fered Jesus wine mixed with a bitter substance (Mathew 27:34).

In the history of mankind what we see is, when a person with

money or power is stabbed from the back and he goes through diffi-

culties and tragedies. When he recovers and becomes rich and pow-

erful the first thing on his mind is to take revenge on those who

harmed him.

But Jesus’ response to the people who crucified him was very

different. There was no revenge or retaliation. On the cross Jesus

prayed, “Forgive them Father! They don’t know what they are do-

ing.” Jesus proved that God is forgiving and loving under all circum-

stances.

In Jesus Christ I have never seen a punishing God. After his

resurrection Jesus asked his disciples, to proclaim to the world about

the loving God he showed them throughout his life.

Though Jesus’ death on the cross touched my life, what actually

lead to my repentance was His attitude towards his disciples after

his resurrection. None of his disciples stood by Him during his time

of need. Still Jesus loved them and used the same team to proclaim

his message to the world. It’s Jesus’ love that touched my heart

and led me to repentance.



3Countdown to my repentance

I was not bothered if strange people avoided me. But it would

hurt me if my own people (relatives and friends) avoided me. That

pain would last forever, like a live burning coal. That was my nature.

But I started to change when I understood the attitude of the dis-

ciples towards their master during the time of his persecution and

the Lord’s response after his resurrection.


For three years Jesus was with his disciples. They lived like a

family and worked like a team. They were so close that Jesus saw

them as his friends. He told his disciples about the persecution he

was about to face. He washed his disciples’ feet. He told them openly

that one of them will betray him. He told Peter, “I tell you that before

the cock crows tonight, you will deny me three times.” Jesus said to

his disciples, “This very night all of you will run away and leave me.”

The disciples replied that they would die for their master (Mathew

26:31-35).

But when the soldiers arrested Jesus, all the disciples left him

and ran away. From that time onwards Jesus was alone. None of

his disciples or his relatives came to support him or speak for him in

front of the authorities. Even his close disciples were not there to

help the wounded Jesus carry the cross, to Calvary.

When I go through the gospels, I see that, Jesus after his

resurrection, returns to the same disciples. It was not to curse, pun-

ish or destroy them. He used the same disciples to preach his gos-

pel to the world. He never tried to start a new team.

Once after his resurrection when Jesus appeared to his disciples,

Thomas was not present. When the other disciples explained this to

Thomas, he told them “Unless I see the scars of the nails in his

hands and put my finger on those scars and my hand in his side, I

will not believe.”

A week later the disciples were together again and Thomas was

with them. Then Jesus came and stood among them. Jesus said

to Thomas, “Put your finger here and look at my hands; then stretch

out your hand and put it in my side. Stop your doubting and be-

lieve!” Seeing this, Thomas answered, “My Lord and My God.” Here

Jesus never cursed, punished or avoided Thomas for not believing.

(John 21) Later Jesus appeared to his disciples at Lake Tiberius.

Even though they worked hard the whole night they did not catch


anything. Knowing this Jesus said to them, “Throw your net out on

the right side of the boat and you will catch some fish.” So they

threw the net out and could not pull it back in, because they had

caught so many fishes. When the disciples returned from the boat,

they were surprised to see their master waiting for them with food.

This was a picture of a loving God, not a punishing or cursing God

as I had believed from my childhood.

I felt guilty when I hurt a person who loved me. When Jesus

found that Peter was guilty, he asked Peter three times “Simon son

If I were able tosurvive or hold on toanything during thistime, then I wouldn’thave seen Godthrough Jesus Christ.

of John, do you love me more

than these others do?” Peter

replied, “Yes, Lord.” (John

21:15)

Again, from these words of

Jesus I saw a loving God, who

was removing the guilt from

the mind of Peter. In Jesus I

found a God who was remov-

ing my guilt.

After his resurrection Jesus

appeared to his disciples, sev-eral times and he talked to them about the Kingdom of God. (Acts

1:4). When they came together, he gave them this order: “Do not

leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift I told you about, the gift my

Father promised. John baptized with water, but in a few days you

will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”

What surprised me is their response to their master’s request.

(Acts1:6.) When the apostles met together with Jesus, they asked

him, “Lord, will you at this time give the Kingdom back to Israel?” At

this juncture the disciples were only able to dream about worldly

possessions and a worldly Kingdom and not about the heavenly

Kingdom.


(Acts 1:8) Jesus said to them “But when the Holy Spirit comes

upon you, you will be filled with power, and you will be witnesses for

me in Jerusalem, in all of Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the

earth.”

When I go through these words, I never find a cursing, punishing

or destroying God in his son Jesus, instead I see a forgiving and

loving God. Jesus never tried to make a new team; instead he used

the same disciples to proclaim his Gospel about the Love of God to

the world. Now in history, it’s recorded that the master used his

same friends to proclaim “God’s Love” to the world.

I judge people not through their words but through their work. In

the same way when I began to know Jesus Christ, I started to see

God’s work through his son Jesus Christ. I never saw a cursing,

punishing or destroying God in the work of Jesus. With the help of

Jesus Christ I started to change my opinion about Almighty God.

I was able to see God through Jesus Christ only when I went

through a financial crisis and a business failure. If I were able to

survive or hold on to anything during this time, then I wouldn’t have

seen God through Jesus Christ.

During my financial crisis, when my life came to a dead end, I

went through the Gospels in the New Testament and there I encoun-

tered a loving God in Jesus Christ

In Jesus, I saw a Loving God looking for me.

In Jesus, I saw a loving God waiting for me.

In Jesus, I saw a loving God, who loved to walk with me.

At this juncture of my life I was able to tell people going through

different types of problems (financial, sickness, family and other) to

try to see God not through their good and bad life circumstances,

but through Jesus Christ’s work. Because in John 10:30, Jesus says,

“The father and I are one.”


4What I have to search for.

It was written in 1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love

does not know God, for God is love. And God

showed his love for us by sending his

only son into the world, so that we

might have life through him.”

Even though I have come to

know that God is love through

Jesus Christ’s work, still my

prayers are for money, power,

people’s acceptance and worldly

pleasures.

At this stage of my life Jesus pointed out to me in Mathew 6:24.

“No one can be a slave of two masters; he will hate one and love the

other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other.

You cannot serve both God and money.”

Through this message Jesus made it clear to

me that, I can’t love God and money at the

same time. If I love God then I despise

money, on the other hand if I love money

then I cannot love God. I can’t have my

two feet in two boats at the same time.

Jesus continued in Mathew 6:26 “Look

at the birds: they do not sow seeds, gather a


harvest and put it in barns; yet your Father in heaven takes care of

them ! Aren’t you worth much more than birds? Can any of you live

a bit longer by worrying about it?”

When I went through these words Jesus showed me that God

never wanted me to waste my life by thinking about what I eat or

about my daily needs. He showed me that birds do not worry like

human beings about what to eat.

Jesus is asking us, “Aren’t human beings worth much more than

birds?” Through these words Jesus is telling me won’t God who

feeds birds feed you too? Won’t he love you much more than birds?

This was a great breakthrough for me.

In Mathew 6:28 Jesus continued “And why worry about clothes?

Look how the wild flowers grow: they do not work or make clothes

for themselves.”

In this gospel Jesus is telling me not to worry about clothes. He

wants me to look at the wild flowers. These wild flowers don’t work

or make clothes for themselves. Yet they are so beautiful.

When we go through the Old Testament of the Holy Bible, we find

King Solomon was one of the best dressed persons. His dress

code was so famous.

Jesus continued in Mathew 6:29, “But I tell you that not even

King Solomon with all his wealth had clothes as beautiful as one of

these flowers.” Through this Jesus made it clear that King Solomon’s

dress was not as beautiful as one of these wild flowers.

Jesus continued, “It is God who clothes the wild grass – grass

that is here today and gone tomorrow, burnt up in the oven. Won’t

he be all the more sure to clothe you? How little faith you have!”

Here Jesus is telling me, that God who clothes the wild grass will

clothe me. Thus Jesus is creating in me faith and awareness of his

Father’s great love.


Jesus continued in Mathew 6:31 “So do not start worrying: where

will my food come from? or my drink? or my clothes?”

Jesus made it clear that if God looks after the birds and wild

grass, why do I have to worry about:-

Where my food comes from?

Where my drink comes from?

Where my clothes come from?

Through these words Jesus made it clear to me that I am not

supposed to live for food, drink or clothes and I am not supposed to

pray and fast for these things. Jesus added, “Your Father in heaven

knows that you need all these things.” (Mathew 6:32)

He made it clear in Mathew 6:32 “These are the things the pagans

are always concerned about.” That was very shocking knowledge

that if I live, pray, fast and dream about these things, then I am a

pagan.

Through these words, Jesus made it clear to me that my prayers

and fasting are not acceptable to the heavenly Father and if I die at

this stage, I can’t go to God.

In Mathew 6:33 Jesus explained this in a crystal clear way, that

could be understood by every human being rich or poor, educated or

un- educated:

For what purpose man has to live

For what purpose man has to work

For what purpose man has to pray and fast.

It is written “Instead, be concerned above everything else with

the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you.”

Through these words God wants me to live and work only for the

Kingdom of God and to know what God requires from me. Jesus


made it clear that my prayer and fasting should be targeted only

towards this.

If I begin to search for the Kingdom of God and begin to search

for what the Heavenly Father is expecting from me, then the Lord

promised me that, “God will provide me with all these other

things.”(Mathew 6:33)

From my childhood I believed that my responsibility was to make

money and other material things. Here Jesus showed me that if I

work for material things then I am living for the Devil.

From the time I received this revelation from Jesus I stopped

praying for material things and for my problems.

I believed God is love but he punishes. I have heard this gospel

several times, but at that time I was not at all bothered about the

meaning of these words. But when I started to see God’s love through

Jesus, I stopped praying for money, power, and acceptance and for

other worldly matters.


5

Thirst for the Holy Spirit

“But I am telling you the truth: it is better for you that I go away,

because if I do not go, the Helper will not come to you.” (John 16:7)

This was said when Jesus talked about his going back to his

Father. He said to his disciples, that if he did not go, the Holy Spirit

(Helper) will not come to the disciples. He was not offering his dis-

ciples food, clothes, money, power, people’s acceptance or any

other worldly needs but only the Holy Spirit. This is the first time in

my life I began to understand about the Holy Spirit.

So I asked Jesus, what is the use of the Holy Spirit to me?

During that period my wife Binu used to pray for the Holy Spirit.

She used to tell me also to pray for the Holy Spirit. But I was not

able to pray because I never thought I needed the Holy Spirit.

Jesus took me to Genesis Chapter. 1:26. Then God said, “And

now we will make human beings; they will be like us and resemble

us.”


In John 4:24 it is said “God is Spirit.” That means man is spirit.

Through these words Jesus made it clear to me food, clothes, money,

power and other worldly requirements are not at all my needs but

only my wants. My real need is the Holy Spirit because my real

identity is in the spirit; this body is only my shelter. When I die my

people will bury my body but not my spirit.

Since my real iden-tity is in my spirit, theknowledge that lightsmy spirit should be100% correct.

In John 14:17 it is said “He is

the Spirit who reveals the truth

about God.” That means if I am

not able to receive the Holy

Spirit, then the understanding I

have about God in my spirit is

not true.

In John 16:13 Jesus said

“When, however, the Spirit

comes, who reveals the truth about God, he will lead you into all the

truth.” Here Jesus made it clear that only the Holy Spirit can lead

my spirit into all the truth. If I am unable to receive the Holy Spirit,

what I actually have in my spirit is 100% false.

Jesus made it clear in John 16:8: “And when he comes, he will

prove to the people of the world that they are wrong about sin and

about what is right and about God’s Judgment.”

These words of Jesus made it clear to me that if I do not receive

the Holy Spirit then what I believe about sin, about right and wrong,

and God’s Judgement would be incorrect.

Since my real identity is in my spirit, the knowledge that lights my

spirit should be 100% correct. Otherwise I can’t enjoy my life in my

spirit, soul, mind, or body.

John 15:26 says, “I will sent him to you from the Father, and he

will speek about me.” If my spirit is not receiving the Holy Spirit,

then Jesus is not revealed in my spirit.


In John 4:23 it is said “But the time is coming and is already here,

when by the power of God’s Spirit people will worship the Father as

he really is, offering him the true worship that he wants. God is

Spirit, and only by the power of his Spirit can people worship him as

he really is.”

If I am not able to receive the Holy Spirit then my spirit cannot

worship the heavenly Father as he really is. Then my spirit is not

able to love God, and in this situation my spirit loves someone or

something else.

Through these words Jesus made it clear that my spirit’s real

need is not anything but the Holy Spirit. From that moment I began

to pray for the Holy Spirit.


6How can I receive the Holy Spirit?

It is written in Acts 1:4, and when they came together, he gave

them this order: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift I told

you about, the gift my father promised.” In Romans 5:5 it is written,

“The Holy Spirit who is God’s gift to us.”

I asked Jesus how I can receive God’s gift to humankind the Holy

Spirit into my spirit.

Jesus showed me Mathew 7:12 “Do for others what you want

them to do for you: this is the meaning of the Law of Moses and of

the teachings of the prophets.”


This was new knowledge for me that the meaning of the Law of

Moses and of the teachings of the prophets is “Do for others what

you want them to do for you.”

Through this, Jesus explained to me, if I needed the Holy Spirit,

then I have to pray for others so that their spirits too will be filled with

God’s best gift - the Holy Spirit.

It was a veryshocking and scaringrevelation that if I amnot talking to theperson I don’t like,and then I am only apagan.

From then onwards I started

praying for others, to fill them

with the Holy Spirit.

In Luke 11:11 Jesus was ask-

ing “Would any of you who are

fathers give your son a snake

when he asks for a fish? Or

would you give him a scorpion

when he asks for an egg? Bad

as you are, you know how to

give good things to your chil-

dren.”

Through these words Jesus showed me, for people like me “good

things” means “material things.”

Jesus continued “How much more, then, will the Father in heaven

give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

For God, a good thing does not mean material things, but the

Holy Spirit. Through these words Jesus explained that the Father in

Heaven will give the Holy Spirit to God’s children.

In Romans 8:14, it is written “Those who are led by God’s Spirit

are God’s sons. For the Spirit that God has given to you does not

make you slaves and causes you to be afraid; instead, the Spirit

makes you God’s children, and by the Spirit’s power we cry out to

God, “Father! My Father!” God’s Spirit joins himself to our spirits to

declare that we are God’s children.”


When Jesus revealed that God will give the Holy Spirit to his

children, I asked Jesus who God’s children were.

He took me to Mathew 5:43 “You have heard that it was said,”

Love your friends, hate your enemies.”

I replied, “Jesus this is what I am doing. Loving my friends, and

hating my enemies.” Then he continued. “But now I tell you: love

your enemies.”

I was shocked to hear this from Jesus. I asked Jesus what

nonsense he was speaking. For the last 12 years I was trying my

best to get rid of my hatred. For this I had prayed, fasted, gone for

spiritual retreats and meditated. Even though I prayed a lot and

fasted (for this purpose), I was not able to get rid of my hatred. After

all these prayers and fasting my hatred only increased.

At this stage Jesus was asking me to love my enemy. I asked

Jesus how it was possible.

From that day onwards I stopped reading the Bible and praying.

After some days I began to read the Bible from Mathew 5: 46 skip-

ping 5:44 and 5:45.

In Mathew 5:46 it is written “Why should God reward you if you

love only the people who love you? Even the tax collectors do that!”

Jesus explained that if I am loving the people who love me then I am

like a tax collector. That means, I love a person only if I get a favor

from him or his money or his material things.

And Jesus continued “And if you speak only to your friends, have

you done anything out of the ordinary? Even the pagans do that!”

It was a very shocking and scaring revelation that if I am not

talking to the person I don’t like, then I am only a pagan.

From that time onwards I had a desire to talk to and love the

person, I hated. This desire was put forward by Jesus.


Then with the help of Jesus Christ I started to read the Lord’s

word in Mathew 5:44.

“But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who

persecute you, so that you may become the sons of your Father in

heaven.”

This was really a message of blessing for me. In my life I never

dreamed of becoming a son of the Father in heaven. I thought that

this can be attained only by saintly people. But Jesus was telling

me that if a person like me, full of hatred in my mind, prays for those

people, who persecuted me, then God will make me a son of the

Heavenly Father.

From that moment onwards I started to pray for the person I hated.

I started to bless him. I thanked God for filling God’s best gift, the

Holy Spirit in his spirit. I thanked God for revealing the truth about

God, the truth about sin and the truth about God’s Judgment through

the Holy Spirit to his spirit.

At this stage I had no problem in praying for the person I hated.

Earlier it was not possible for me to pray for him. I don’t know how

to explain this. Within days I was able to expel this hatred from my

mind. Later I started to enjoy peace in my mind. For the last 12

years I had forgotten how to laugh. During those years I had to

struggle to laugh. From the moment I expelled hatred I started to

laugh again.

Jesus’s words in Luke 11:13 and Mathew 5:44 helped me to get

rid of my hatred. Jesus said in Luke 11:13 “God shall give the Holy

Spirit to his children.” In Mathew 5:44 Jesus said “When a person

starts to pray for his enemies, he becomes a child of God.”

Through these words Jesus showed me that when I started to

pray for the person who persecuted me, I became a child of God.

From that moment, with the help of the Holy Spirit, Jesus took away

the hatred in me. It was the work of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit


within me. It was not at all my work.

If it had been my work and effort then I would have been able to

get rid of my hatred even before I knew Jesus.

I was able to pray like this only when I started to see God through

Jesus’ work or life. When I believed that God is a punishing God, I

was not able to pray for the person who persecuted me. It’s God’s

love in Jesus which I experienced that made me pray like this.

Ezekiel 36:25-27 “I will sprinkle clean water on you and make you

clean from all your idols and everything else that has defiled you. I

will give you a new heart and a new mind. I will take away your

stubborn heart of stone and give you an obedient heart. I will put my

spirit in you and I will see to it that you follow my laws.”

Thus Jesus pointed out the changes that would happen in me.

First God helped me to see Him through Jesus Christ’s work. Through

Jesus, God helped me to get rid of my misunderstanding that God is

a punishing God. Through Jesus, God revealed a loving God to me.

Then God gave me an obedient heart. With this heart I started to

pray for the people who persecuted me. Then God gave me his

spirit. With the help of God’s Spirit Jesus helped me to destroy my

hatred of others and with God’s Spirit working in me I was able to

forgive others and love God, love myself and love others.

Once I was travelling in a train, I met a Sanyasi. I shared with

him Jesus’s words in Mathew 5:44. He responded. “How is it pos-

sible? How can you pray for your enemy?” Then he added if it hap-

pened, then God will come down from heaven.

Yes it is true. It’s by the work of God’s Spirit only, that I was able

to get rid of my hatred.


7 With the help of JesusI asked for forgiveness

When Jesus destroyed the deep rooted hatred in my mind, I had

a desire to visit the house of the person I hated. I told my wife Binu

“let us visit them the following Sunday.” When that day came even

though I had the desire to go there, my mind was not permitting this.

This continued for weeks and months.

I told Jesus, “It is you who helped me to get rid of my misunder-

standing about a punishing God, and you showed me a loving God.

It is you who eliminated hatred from my mind, so please help me in

this case also.” Then Jesus showed me Mathew 7:1. “Do not judge

others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the

same way as you judge others and he will apply to you the same

rules you apply to others.”


Jesus was telling me in Mathew 7:5: “You hypocrite! First take

the log out of your own eye and then you will able to see clearly

enough to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

These words showed me that I was on the wrong track, when I

judge a person.

Jesus was persecuted by his own people but he never judged or

hated anyone.

Now I asked forgiveness from God for judging another person and

for hating him. Then in my prayer I asked for forgiveness from the

person I judged and hated.

I don’t know what happened, within a month we were able to visit

his house and with the help of Jesus Christ I asked this person for

forgiveness. From that moment onwards I had a feeling that some-

body had taken a large weight from my mind.

At this stage I was only able to ask for forgiveness to the person

I had judged and hated but I was not able to actually forgive him.

Later on I was able to forgive, and that I will explain in the next

chapter.


Thank you for the interest shown inthis God-inspired work!

Hope you enjoyed readingthe first part of the book.

You can read the complete bookonline at

www.forgiveandlove.com

or purchase it from

www.kottayamflowers.com


Documents

How Jesus taught me to Forgive and Love