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Saturday, April 14, 2012

How to deal with Critics

By Dorie Clark , Tuesday, January 24, 2012

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Dorie Clark is a strategy consultant who has worked with clients including Google, Yale University, and the National Park Service.

She is the author of the forthcoming What's Next?: The Art of Reinventing Your Personal Brand (Harvard Business Review Press, 2012). Follow her on Twitter at @dorieclark.

By Dorie Clark , Tuesday, January 24, 2012

How to deal with

Critics

Criticism - تنقید - مذمتAct of passing severe judgment, Censure, faultfinding Act of passing judgment as to merits of anything.

Act or art of analyzing and evaluating or judging the quality of a literary or artistic work, musical performance, art exhibit, dramatic production, etc.

Any of various methods of studying texts or documents for the purpose of dating or reconstructing them, evaluating their authenticity, analyzing their content or style, etc.: historical criticism; literary criticism.

Criticism

is something you can easily avoid by Saying Nothing, Doing Nothing & Being Nothing.” ~Aristotle

Criticism

Afraid of being judged?

Everything, from everyone as condemnation?

Does it always come gently?

Always from someone legitimately trying to help?

Can we control what other people say to us?

Criticism

We can’t control what other people will say

to us / about us, whether they’ll approve or form opinions and share

them. But we can control how we internalize it, respond to it, and

learn from it, and when we realize this, we learn, grow & move on.

C – Benefits (Personal Growth)

1. Looking for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility (عاجزی). It’s not easy to take an honest look at ourselves & our weaknesses, but we can only grow if we willing to try.

2. Learning from criticism allows us to improve. Almost every critique gives us a tool to more effectively create the tomorrow, we visualize.

3. Criticism opens us up to new perspectives and new ideas we may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges us, they help expand our thinking

4. Our critics give us an opportunity to practice active listening. This means we resist the urge to analyze in our head, planning our rebuttal (تردید), and simply consider what the other person is saying.

5. We have the chance to practice forgiveness when we come up against harsh critics. Most of us carry around stress and frustration that we unintentionally misdirect from time to time.

Critisim – Benefits (Emotional)

6. It’s helpful to learn how to sit with the discomfort of an initial emotional reaction instead of immediately acting or retaliating. All too often we want to do something with our feelings—generally not a great idea!

7. Criticism gives us the chance to foster problem solving skills, which isn’t always easy when we’re feeling sensitive, self-critical, or annoyed with critics

8. Receiving criticism that hits a sensitive spot helps us explore unresolved issues. Maybe we’re sensitive about our intelligence.

9. Interpreting someone else’s feedback is an opportunity for rational thinking—sometimes, despite a negative tone, criticism is incredibly useful.

10. Criticism encourages us to question our instinctive associations and feelings; praise is good, criticism is bad. If we recondition ourselves to see things in less black and white terms, there’s no stop to how far we can go!

C – Benefits (Improved Relationships)

11. Criticism presents an opportunity to choose peace over conflict. Oftentimes, when criticized our instinct is to fight, creating unnecessary drama. The people around us generally want to help us, not judge us.

12. Fielding criticism well helps us mitigate the need to be right. Nothing closes an open mind like ego—bad for our personal growth, and damaging for relationships.

13. Our critics give us an opportunity to challenge any people-pleasing tendencies. Relationships based on a constant need for approval can be draining for everyone involved. It’s liberating to let people think whatever they want—they’re going to do it anyway.

14. Criticism gives us the chance to teach people how to treat us. If someone delivers it poorly, we can take this opportunity to tell them, “I think you make some valid points, but I would receive them better if you didn’t raise your voice.”

15. Certain pieces of criticism teach us not to sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter that what is the color of our Shoes.”

Criticism – Benefits (Time Efficiency)

16. The more time we spend dwelling about what someone said, the less time we have to do something with it.

17. If we improve how we operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. When we think about from that perspective—criticism as a time saver—it’s hard not to appreciate it!

18. Fostering the ability to let go of our feelings and thoughts about being critiqued can help us let go in other areas of our life. Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears & even positive feelings helps us root ourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is always the most efficient use of time.

19. Criticism reinforces the power of personal space. Taking 10 minutes to process our emotions, perhaps by writing in a journal, will ensure us respond well. Responding well the first time prevents, situation dominating your day.

20. In some cases, criticism teaches us how to interact with a person, if they’re negative or hostile, for example. Knowing this can save us a lot of time and stress in the future.

Criticism – Benefits (Self Confidence)

21. Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing our confidence is a must if we want to do big things in life. The more attention our work receives, the more criticism we’ll have to field.

22. When someone criticizes us, it shines a light on our own insecurities. If we secretly agree that we’re lazy, we should get to the root of that. Why do we believe that—and what can we do about it?

23. When someone else appraises (تشخیص) us harshly, we have an opportunity to monitor our internal self-talk. Research indicates up to 80% of our thoughts are negative. Take this opportunity to monitor & change our thought processes so you don’t drain and sabotage yourself!

24. Receiving feedback well reminds you it’s OK to have flaws—imperfection is part of being human. If you can admit weakness and work on them without getting down on yourself, you’ll experience far more happiness, peace, enjoyment, and success.

Criticism

We are all perfectly imperfect,and other people may notice that from time to time. We do the same, So ….

Criticism

Move forward after criticism, even if you don’t feel

incredibly confident, & ensures no isolated comment prevents you

from seizing our dreams. Think of it as separating the wheat from the chaff;

takes what’s useful, leave the rest, and keep going!

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