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How to kill a dragon with various programming languages

This funny text comes from Ibon from the dream team who got it from a Spanish blog.

There's a beautiful princess, prisoner in the highest tower of a castle, guarded by a mighty dragon, and

a fearless knight must rescue her

This is how each language would manage to rescue the princess from the hands of the dragon

Java - Gets there, finds the dragon, develops a framework for dragon anihilation with multiplelayers, writes several articles about the framework But doesn't kill the dragon.

.NET - Gets there, sees the idea of the Java developer and copies it. Tries to kill the dragon, bu

the monster eats him.

C - Arrives, looks down at the dragon, pulls out his sword, beheads the dragon, finds the

princess And ignores her to see the last checkins of linux kernel cvs.

C++ - Creates a basic needle, and gathers funcionality until he has a complex sword that he ca

barely understand He kills the dragon, but gets stuck crossing the bridge because of memoryleaks.

COBOL - Arrives, sees the dragon and thinks that he is too old to kill a monster that big

and rescuing the princess, so he leaves.

Pascal - He prepares for 10 years to create a dragon anihilation system When the moment

comes, he discovers the program can only take lizards as an entry. VB - Builds a dragon destruction weapon based on several components, jumps to the back of th

dragon and in the most critical time he discovers that the sword works only on rainy nights

PL/SQL - Gets data from other dragon slayers, creates tables with n ternary complexity

relations, tridimensional data, OLAP, takes 15 years to process the information And by then,the princess became a lesbian.

Ruby - Arrives with massive fame, saying he is the best at anything and when he faces the

dragon, he shows a lame motion picture of himself killing a dragon The dragon eats him out oboredom.

Smalltalk - Arrives, analyzes the dragon and princess, turns around and leaves, they are way

too inferior.

shell - Creates a very powerful dragon slaying weapon But in the moment of truth, he can't

remember how to use it.

shell(2)- The guy approaches the dragon with a two line script that kills, cuts, disembowels,

impales, chops to pieces and packs the beast, but when he runs it the script grows, it fattens,irritates and puts alcohol in the fire of the dragon

Assembler - He thinks he's doing the right and most efficient things But he writes an A

instead of a D and kills the princess to end up f***ing the dragon.

Fortran - Arrives and develops a 45-thousand-code-line-solution, kills the dragon, meets the

princess But she calls him a weakling and runs after the Java programmer who was elegant,

and also rich.

FOX PRO - Develops a dragon killing system. It's gorgeous and works on the outside, but it's

really patched inside, so when he runs the dragon anihilator, he realizes he forgot to index the

DBFs.

PROCESS ANALYST - Approaches the dragon with two tons of documentation, develops the

unified dragon-killing process, he develops a DFD to free the princess and marry her, convincesthe dragon that it's the best for him and it won't hurt. When he executes the process, heestimates the effort and the damage he will cause with a plan signed by the Pope, Buddha and

Michael Jackson. Then he buys a couple of nukes, 45 cannons, an aircraft carrier and hires 300heavily armed men When all he needed was the sword he was holding in his hand in the

beginning

CLIPPER: Sets up a routine that loads a codeblock array to insult the dragon, serenade the

princess, load the sword in memory, beat the crap out of the dragon, clean the mess, prepare a

raspberry milkshake for the princess, make love to her, take a bath, start the car, put it somegas and come back home. When he runs it, he gets a "Bound Error: Array Access" and the

dragon eats him with fries.

Lisp, where the famous knight-errant, after speaking with numerous experts in dragon-killing,

and modeling the knowledge they posess, he programs the system, and when he runs it he

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realizes he forgot a bracket (bender the offender).

HTML: Mounts a web on famous swords used to kill dragons, but he ignores the W3C standards

When he meets the dragon, he finds out the code isn't compatible with his browser, so he's leftswordless. The dragon eats him as an appetizer.

Prolog: Thinks he needs a weapon to kill the dragon. Searches in a catalog for 182014

weapons. By the time the princess dies of her age, he's achieved to know how to make everyweapon starting with A: Atomic Bombs, Anti-Air Weapons, Arches, Ammunition, Axes...

PHP: Creates a web page that when he executes it would eliminate the $dragon selecting from

weapons databese in MySQL over an Apache server. Nevertheless he forgot the WHERE in theDELETE query and kills the princess, the dragon, the peasants, the witch, the sorceror and the

programmer himself.

JavaScript: The programmer tries to kill the great green dragon that spits fire throug his

mouth. He creates a script that will delete the dragon when he loads a webpage, to create

seconds after, some damsels to throw him flowers and make clapping sounds. Unfortunately hedidn't take into account the DOM structure of the lizard, also known as Mozilla, and the only

thing he gets is to fill his console of errors and that the Book of Mozilla tells how he was

devoured.

ActiveX: The programmers create a tunnel to enter the dragon's lair from the castle and run a

program that will kil the dragon from a safe and prudential distance. The dragon discovers thetunnel, eats the workers who dug, the dragon slayers, and enslaves every servant in the castle

The castle becomes a dragon-breeding place, full of little dragons that the dragon sends in pop-ups to other castles. The untasty remains of the knights are put in cans of Spam and sent to

other castles as well as a warning. (aquelquesiente) Basic. He creates a weapon able to kill paper dragons, but no matter how they improve it, they

discover it's not good enough to kill any dragon bigger than a baby poodle.

Matlab: They create a loop that calculates the trajectories to shoot a giant arrow at the dragon

The program works flawlessly. What they need now are the voluntaries caoable to launch tha

arrow with the necessary strength and accuracy.

Videogame Programmer : Spends two years programming a state-of-the-art sword with

shaders and all. When the time comes to kill the dragon, he finds that half the knights aren'tstrong enough to raise the sword. Then someone programs a patch that reveals the sex scenes

with the princess and Hillary Clinton makes it a scandal.