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How to Take Feedback
By Steve M. Friedman, MFA
BIL Conference
Long Beach, CAMarch 2-3, 2013
Why do we need feedback?
As BILders, we always have projects we're working on
Nothing is ever perfect. This includes you and your work
Everyone has their own unique insights and perspectives
You can't smell your own farts
Who to ask for feedback
Smart, helpful, diligent
Avoid people at a lower level than youThey'll only be able to give you very general comments
Also avoid people at higher level
Probably won't want to put in the effort to give solid feedback(Unless it's an instructor you're paying to help you)
Sacrificing an opportunity to impress them with your best work
Probably more useful to ask for help in other ways
Get feedback from people at about the same level as you
They know they can ask you for feedback at some point, so they're more willing to put in effort
Can learn from each other
Best to get oral feedback from a small group
Preferable to written or one-on-one feedback
Can build on each other's notes
Can brainstorm solutions to problems
Can ask questions
In person, phone, or video-conference
Avoid big groups
Dominated by the loudest members, not those with the best ideas
People wait to make their point, rather than build on the conversation
Too many cooks push you in different directions.
Ideal size is 2 or 3 people (plus you.)
Rules of Feedback
NEVER ARGUE
Remember that you want to know what's wrong
Reductive feedback is almost always correct
Additive feedback is often reductive feedback in disguise
Don't be afraid to ask questions
Don't use questions as a stealth means of arguing
Get feedback from multiple groups
Rule #1: NEVER ARGUE
You're asking people for their opinion. They're giving their opinion. They know what their opinion is, so they are right and you are wrong.
Arguing shuts them down. Stops them from giving more notes
Makes them less interested in helping in the future
Rule #1: NEVER ARGUE
Arguing closes yourself down to listening
If someone doesn't get something, it's YOUR fault for not making it clear enough.
If a comment is stupid, you can always smile, nod, write it down, and then ignore it.But can usually find value in stupid comments
Small groups can sanity-check comments
Rule #2: Remember that you want to know what's wrong
Criticism is much more valuable than praise
You can only improve by finding the problems
Opposite of our normal livesWe're generally happy when people tell us we're doing a good job, and sad or angry when people tell us we suck
Rule #2: Remember that you want to know what's wrong
Avoid grade-school insistence that feedback must be positive
This isn't kindergarten. We aren't trying to boost our self-esteem
Want to find out where, how, and why we suck, so we can fix it
Natural tendency to defend ourselves when we feel attackedDo not give in to this temptation
Make sure the people giving feedback understand thisPick people capable of doing it
People who only give positive feedback are worse than useless
Rule #2: Remember that you want to know what's wrong
Additive vs. Reductive Feedback
Additive feedback is when someone tells you you should add something
Reductive feedback is when someone tells you something isn't working
Rule #3: Reductive feedback is almost always correct
If someone doesn't think something works, it's because it truly doesn't work
They aren't just complaining to complainOr if they are, find better people to give you feedback
Rule #4: Additive feedback is often reductive feedback in disguise
Additive feedback may or may not be correct
Think about the additive suggestion. If it is a good idea, use it.
If you recognize reasons why it is a bad idea, don't just dismiss it
Often people propose an additive solution to a reductive problem
Rule #4: Additive feedback is often reductive feedback in disguise
Natural for some people to try to fix something that's wrongThat's exactly the sort of person you want giving you feedback
Just because their solution doesn't work is not a reason to dismiss their concerns
Try to figure out the underlying problem
Rule #5: Don't be afraid to ask questions
Necessary to clarify confusing reductive feedback
Helpful in finding reductive problem behind additive solutions
You can suggest solutions that might fix the problem
Often leads to getting more and better pieces of feedback
If a solution you're thinking of is off-base, better to learn that through minutes of talking than months of work
Rule #6: Don't use questions as a stealth means of arguing
You're only cheating yourself
Oh yeah, well... principle
Rule #7: Get feedback from multiple groups
Especially as you move to different stages of a project
Avoid group-think
People who are already familiar with your project can become blinded to problems
How to deal with stupid feedback
Sometimes someone gives you a suggestion, and you immediately recognize it as incredibly stupid. How do you respond?
Argue
Smile and nod, and then ignore it
Really think about it
How to deal with stupid feedback
If it's reductive feedback, it's almost always correct
Did the person giving feedback miss something obvious? Or is it not as obvious as you thought?
In a small group, a third party can weigh in
If it's additive feedback, try to figure out what reductive feedback it is a reaction to
Ask questions!
The dog and the motorcycle
When do you stop taking feedback?
Since nothing is ever perfect, could theoretically keep taking feedback/revising for rest of your life
If you have a deadline, then don't have a choice
But what if you're working for yourself?
At some point, iterations are more likely to degrade project than improve it
Learn to recognize when you're in an upswing
Weigh improvements against time
Your time could be spent doing something else
Lost revenue, career opportunities, risk of someone else beating you to the market
Depriving the world of your creation
When to stop is more art than science
Summary
NEVER ARGUE
Remember that you want to know what's wrong
Reductive feedback is almost always correct
Additive feedback is often reductive feedback in disguise
Don't be afraid to ask questions
Don't use questions as a stealth means of arguing
Get feedback from multiple groups