How to Write the College Essay

Hints and Examples

Created by Marcie Belgard

A distinction – personal or reflectiveIn writing your college essay, you need to decide if it is to be a personal experience or a reflection. In other words will you swim in the "sea of experience," and "climb the mountain of reflection."

Tips on Writing the Admissions Essay

It may be only 500 words or less, but the admissions essay portion of a college application can mean the difference between acceptance and rejection. Without the essay, admissions officers would have to choose arbitrarily between two (or even two hundred) applicants with identical profiles.

Your personal essay shows the admissions committee how you are different from everybody else. It provides information about you that test scores, grades, and extracurricular activities just cannot.

Make sure your essay captures the reader’s attention and shows that you are exceptional!

Brainstorming You should spend some

time brainstorming possible essay topics. Look at sample essays to help you.

Or use the Profile Activity or brainstorming questions to help you.

Brainstorm

Consider your audience Who will read it? What is likely to impress them enough to admit

you to their school?

Selecting an Essay Topic As your thoughts start to solidify into

an essay topic, think about writing that topic. What might have seemed like a good idea could prove impossible to write in under 500 words.

Consider how you can make the subject matter original.

With an essay topic in mind, answer the questions on the next page and then those in the handout “Selecting an Essay Topic”

3 Questions to Ask Before You Even Write the Essay Who am I?

Is this essay about me? Is it reflective? Is this essay about me NOW?

Will this essay resonate? What do my activities say about me? What will my teachers say about me?

How can I separate myself from the rest of an incredibly talented applicant pool?

Choose a story The best essays tell a

story about the applicant. The essay does not have

to be the story of your whole life, but rather a small glimpse of it—one that is rich with meaning, alive with imagery and clear in purpose.

Show, don’t tell It often helps to think

about the impact that past events have had on you.

The essay, however, never tells the reader these thing directly; instead, it shows the reader through concrete experiences.

Writing the EssayYou must bear in mind your two goals:

-to persuade admissions officers that you are extremely worthy of admission.

-to make them aware that you are more than a GPA and a standardized test score—that you are a real-life, intriguing person.

1. – Start with a Creative Introduction Remember the

admissions officers will probably spend no more than a few minutes on your essay.

In the first two sentences, you must capture their interest

Which lead is better and why? I have always been interested in science.  I have taken

Advanced Placement science classes at my high school and have gotten good grades.  I have also participated in the science fair at our school   I am very interested in the field of medicine.  Every class I have taken in high school has set me forward to my goal of becoming a doctor.

While the others stand next to their projects, I walk over to the first judge, happy to explain my project. He asks me a question —a question that I am eager to answer. Not only do these scientists ask questions, but they also bring knowledge so I can do better next time.

2. Elaborate – use examples and personal experiences

Too often, an essay with an interesting story will fizzle into a series of statements that tell rather than show the qualities of the writer.

It’s all in the detailsA major weakness of these personal essays is the lackluster detail and generic commentary.  Example of poor concrete detail:  I moved around a lot when I was young because my father had a lot of jobs.  Example of poor commentary: It made me stronger and grateful to my parents for always being there for me.

 It takes time and revision to produce a stellar personal, anecdotal, reflective piece. 

Which is better and why? I have also participated in many school

activities. I am a member of Key Club and Ecology Club. 

The next time I saw Mr. Smith’s lawn filled with leaves, I grabbed my rake and immediately began gathering them.

3. Be Concise Use the allotted space

wisely and do not exceed word limits. Yes, they count the words.

Make sure you omit irrelevant details, clichés, and undeveloped ideas. Do not distract the reader with repetition or extra words.

Good Evening. Tonight’s broadcast will be concise. Everything’s horrible. Good night.

4. Pay Attention to Transition and Sentence Variety The best essays link thoughts together

through words, repetition, synonyms, and concepts.

The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths mixed within any given paragraph.

Which one is better and why? Before: I climb the narrow stairs. I stumble

slightly. My toe catches the heel of the person in front of me. She turns around and smiles and knows precisely what is going through my mind.

After: Climbing the narrow stairs, I stumble slightly as my toe catches the heel of the person in front of me. She turns around and smiles anxiously, knowing precisely what is going through my mind.

5. Use Active Voice VerbsPassive voice expressions are verb phrases in which the subject receives the action expressed in the verb. Passive voice employs a form of the word to be, such as was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose seem flat and uninteresting.

A sports car

built by Porsche.

Which one is better and why? Passive – The classes that I took in high

school that prepared me for my goal of becoming a doctor were taught by excellent science teachers at Hanford High School.

Active – The excellent science teachers at Hanford High School taught classes that prepared me for my goal of becoming a doctor.

6. Don’t Thesaurusize your EssayPut your thesaurus away when writing your application essay. Big words, especially when misused, detract from the essay, inappropriately drawing the reader’s attention and making the essay sound contrived.

Which one is better and why? Before – As a neophyte in music, I

attended a plethora of lessons.

After – As a young musician, I took many lessons.

7. Conclude Effectively The conclusion is your

last chance to persuade the admissions officers, to impress upon them your qualifications.

In the conclusion, avoid summary, the reader does not need to be reminded of your qualifications.

Also, do not use stock phrases such as in conclusion, in summary, to conclude, etc.

Which one is better and why? Dwarfed by her innocent intensity, I

motion for the song to be restarted. Soft, simple chords waft into the room, and my own voice latches onto the steady pulse.

In conclusion, I motion for the song to be restarted. It ends with my own voice latching onto the steady pulse.

8. Give your draft to othersAsk readers to keep these questions in mind.○ Have I answered the prompt?

○ Does my introduction work?

○ Is my conclusion effective?

○ Did I use good examples?

○ Have I used vivid verbs?

○ Did I use effective transitions?

○ Did the essay reveal me?

9. Revise, Revise, ReviseYou are allowed only so many words; use them wisely. If Thoreau couldn’t write a good essay without revision, neither can you.

Use the spell checker on your word-processor

Your essay must be perfect. Errors are moral and intellectual checkmarks against you in this situation. Each one says you are not conscientious and take no pride in your work. One spelling error can tip the balance against the student in such a competitive environment.

You can find many college essays online There are many sites on the Internet with sample essays. Some sites will revise your essays for money. DO NOT USE any essay you find online. College

admissions officers keep lists of these essays and immediately dismiss a student's application if they even suspect the student did not write it.

These essays, however, are useful as springboards for your own essays.

Also, some universities provide helpful information about writing essays for their specific university; be sure to consult the university's website before writing your essay.

Final Tips for Writing the Essay Answer the prompt given and stay

within the length recommended. Use the essay to elaborate on

something which is not evident in reading your application

Address your weaknesses, by making them implicit strengths.

Don't procrastinate. Write this essay as though a small part of your life depended upon it.

Write a different essay for each school.

Don’t plug in an essayThomas Seltzer of University of

Wisconsin explains, “I can’t tell you how many times students have clearly taken an essay and modified it for us, rather than answering the question that we put forth. Every day we get an application where the students says, ‘I have always wanted to go to the University of Michigan.’”

We surveyed 100 admission counselors and asked them to name the top 5 hints to a successful application essay.

Start early. Be yourself and be

honest. Write and rewrite. Proofread and get

someone to edit for grammar. Write to the prompt.

One last noteMany times students come to me with their college essays and want to hear. “This is just perfect! Here, let me give you a stamp so you can mail it now!"

When I start to give them advice, they look crushed! Then they want me to do their work for them, to give them the words and the topic.

As I see it, my role as your teacher is to help you find a real subject and let you write the essay.