I Will Hold You In My Heart Forever

I Will Hold You In My Heart Forever A baby book for little angels

Copyright 2010 by Michelle Murray

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the author.

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Murray, Michelle, 1975- I will hold you in my heart forever : a baby book for little angels

/ [Michelle Murray].

ISBN 978-0-9865458-0-1

1. Miscarriage--Psychological aspects. 2. Stillbirth--Psychologicalaspects. 3. Infants--Death--Psychological aspects. I. Title.

BF575.G7M87 2010 155.9’37 C2010-902320-X

Inquiries should be addressed to Michelle Murray at:

624 Amaretto Avenue, Pickering, Ontario, Canada, L1X 2V2Tel:(416)-881-9729

Email: [email protected] Click us at www.foreverheart.ca

Design by Stephanie BowdenTrapdoor Media

www.trapdoormedia.com

Printed in Toronto, Canada

Forever Heart P u b l i s h i n g

A Special Dedication: To the memory of Tyler Jason Murray who was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS)

and was with us for seven precious weeks.

This book is for those parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.

January 21, 2006 - March 11, 2006

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In The Beginning

Pregnancy Moments

Family Tree

Showers

The World Around You

Hello Little One

Your Illness

Hospital Stay

Taking Care Of You

Every Day A Miracle

The Day You Died

Funeral Details

Final Resting Place

Hopes And Dreams

Holding You In My Heart

Websites And Support Groups

When did I first suspect I was pregnant _______________________________________

How long it took to become pregnant ________________________________________

The physical symptoms I had were ___________________________________________

The day I took a pregnancy test was _________________________________________

How I felt _______________________________________________________________

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Who I told the news to and what their reactions were ____________________________

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Food cravings because of you _______________________________________________

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Advice from family and friends ______________________________________________

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Things I did to prepare for your arrival ________________________________________

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What I expected; my hopes and dreams _______________________________________

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How I felt when I first felt you move __________________________________________

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How I felt listening to your heartbeat _________________________________________

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My reaction to the first sonogram ____________________________________________

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The date you were due to arrive _____________________________________________

Helen Keller

L

v

GiN

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R bm m eer

My hunches on whether you were a boy or a girl________________________________

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Names Mommy liked ______________________________________________________

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Names Daddy liked _______________________________________________________

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Notes ___________________________________________________________________

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Details of pregnancy month by month, including doctors visits, baby showers, favourite maternity clothes, thoughts and feelings.

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Her name is _____________________________________________________________

She was born on _________________________________________________________

Where she was born ______________________________________________________

She spends her time doing _________________________________________________

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Her favourite things _______________________________________________________

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Other things to know about her _____________________________________________

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His name is ______________________________________________________________

He was born on __________________________________________________________

Where he was born _______________________________________________________

He spends his time doing __________________________________________________

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His favourite things _______________________________________________________

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Other things to know about him _____________________________________________

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Where parents went to school _______________________________________________

What they wanted to be when they grew up ___________________________________

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What they do now_________________________________________________________

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How they met ____________________________________________________________

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How long have they known each other________________________________________

Grandmother’s name ______________________________________________________

She was born on _________________________________________________________

Favourite things __________________________________________________________

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Things she would have loved to tell you _______________________________________

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Grandfather’s name _______________________________________________________

He was born on __________________________________________________________


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Things he would have loved to tell you ________________________________________

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Grandmother’s name ______________________________________________________

She was born on _________________________________________________________


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Things she would have loved to tell you _______________________________________

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Grandfather’s name _______________________________________________________

He was born on __________________________________________________________


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Things he would have loved to tell you ________________________________________

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Names __________________________________________________________________

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Things they would have loved to tell you ______________________________________

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Grandpa Grandma

Mommy

You

Daddy

Grandpa Grandma

Date____________________________________________________________________

Hosted by _______________________________________________________________

Games we played _________________________________________________________

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Date____________________________________________________________________

Hosted by _______________________________________________________________

Games we played _________________________________________________________

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I held you in my belly, now I hold you in my heart.


I held you in my belly, now I hold you in my heart.I held you in my belly, now I hold you in my heart.









I held you in my belly, now I hold you in my heart. I held you in my belly,

now I hold you in my heart.


Gift:__________________________________________ Given by: __________________

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National leaders __________________________________________________________

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World leaders ____________________________________________________________

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National headlines ________________________________________________________

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Best selling books ________________________________________________________

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Top movies ______________________________________________________________

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Top TV shows ____________________________________________________________

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Sports news _____________________________________________________________

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Fashions and fads ________________________________________________________

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Local headlines___________________________________________________________

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I saw these movies ________________________________________________________

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I watched these TV shows __________________________________________________

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I attended these events ____________________________________________________

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Other things that happened this year _________________________________________

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Your arrival ______________________________________________________________

Date of birth _____________________________Time of birth _____________________

Where you were born ______________________________________________________

Your name _______________________________________________________________

Your weight ______________________________Length __________________________

Your eye colour ___________________________Your hair colour___________________

Zodiac sign ______________________________________________________________

Why your name was chosen ________________________________________________

Meaning of name _________________________________________________________

People present at the birth _________________________________________________

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Doctor/ Midwife name _____________________________________________________

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Your (Ceremony) _________________________________________________________

Was performed by ________________________________________________________

at ______________________________________________________________________

on _____________________________________________________________________

Special readings __________________________________________________________

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People who attended ______________________________________________________

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Description ______________________________________________________________

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When I found out _________________________________________________________

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Options I was given _______________________________________________________

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Prognosis or Treatment ____________________________________________________

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Name of hospital _________________________________________________________

Doctors and nurses _______________________________________________________

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Milestones _______________________________________________________________

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Touch and go times _______________________________________________________

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Other families we met _____________________________________________________

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Surgeries or procedures endured ____________________________________________

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People in the hospital that were helpful _______________________________________

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Happy moments I remember there ___________________________________________

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Other ___________________________________________________________________

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Pediatrician ______________________________________________________________

Address and phone number ________________________________________________

Blood type _______________________________________________________________

Allergies ________________________________________________________________

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Doctors Appointments:

Date____________________________________________________________________

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Things I needed to learn to look after you _____________________________________

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Milestones you achieved

Your first bath ____________________________________________________________

Your first smile ___________________________________________________________

Your first complete nights sleep _____________________________________________

Your first tooth ___________________________________________________________

First time you rolled over ___________________________________________________

First time you sat up _______________________________________________________

Your first word ___________________________________________________________

First time you stood up ____________________________________________________

Your first step ____________________________________________________________

Your first haircut __________________________________________________________

Your first sentence ________________________________________________________

Other ___________________________________________________________________

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Weight __________________________________________________________________

Size ____________________________________________________________________

Measured on _____________________________________________________________

Your sleep habits _________________________________________________________

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Your eating habits _________________________________________________________

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A typical day _____________________________________________________________

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Outings/Walks ___________________________________________________________

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Special moments or events _________________________________________________

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Weight __________________________________________________________________

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A typical day _____________________________________________________________

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Celebrated on ____________________________________________________________

Where __________________________________________________________________

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Who came to your party ____________________________________________________

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Precious moments ________________________________________________________

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Last moments with you ____________________________________________________

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Where I was _____________________________________________________________

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How I knew you were gone _________________________________________________

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Date of death ____________________________________________________________

Time of death ____________________________________________________________

Cause of death ___________________________________________________________

Place ___________________________________________________________________

You were (Gestational Age/Days/Months/Years Old) ___________________________

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What I felt after you died ___________________________________________________

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Things I will remember about this day_________________________________________

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Life is not measured by the

number of breaths we take, but

by the moments that take our

breath away.

Authur Unknow

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Your funeral _____________________________________________________________

Date of memorial service ___________________________________________________

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Where __________________________________________________________________

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Conducted by ____________________________________________________________

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Music ___________________________________________________________________

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Bearers _________________________________________________________________

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Flowers _________________________________________________________________

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Poems __________________________________________________________________

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Prayers _________________________________________________________________

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Special words ____________________________________________________________

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Where __________________________________________________________________

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Who beside ______________________________________________________________

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Buried in what clothes/special items _________________________________________

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Religious Ceremonies/Beliefs ______________________________________________

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Reception that followed ____________________________________________________

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Ideas for your room _______________________________________________________

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Where I put your crib ______________________________________________________

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Which family members I thought you might have looked like ______________________

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Personality I thought you might have had ______________________________________

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What I thought you might have been when you grew up __________________________

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Sports or activities you might have done ______________________________________

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Special things I do in your memory ___________________________________________

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Where I go to think of you __________________________________________________

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Things I do on your anniversary ______________________________________________

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How I manage without you _________________________________________________

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Ways you have changed my life _____________________________________________

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Things of yours I hold close _________________________________________________

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Dreams I’ve had of you ____________________________________________________

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These songs remind me of you ______________________________________________

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Creative things I’ve done for you _____________________________________________

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On your birthday/Due date I ________________________________________________

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Holidays without you ______________________________________________________

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Things that really remind me of you __________________________________________

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Special things I do each year ________________________________________________

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People who still ask about you ______________________________________________

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People/Support groups that help me through __________________________________

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Bereaved Families of Ontario -- www.bereavedfamilies.net Helping families live with grief through self-help and by providing support groups, drop-ins and special memorial events. For Durham region go to www.bfodurham.net

Perinatal Bereavement Services of Ontario -- www.pbso.ca Dedicated to providing self-help through support services for parents adjusting to new life after miscarriage, medical termination, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth and infant death. Also provides educational programs and special events.

www.wyattswarriors.ca Raising awareness of Congenital Heart Defects (CHD’s) and also helping to raise money for Sick Children’s Hospital in Toronto and for families affected by CHD’s.

www.parentswithangels.com Dedicated to helping parents who have lost a child. Also find them on Facebook.com/ParentswithAngels

www.heartstringssupport.org Helping families find comfort after pregnancy and infant loss.

www.mattersoftheheart-online.com Educating the public about Congenital Heart Defects.

Centering Corporation -- www.centering.org The largest provider of resources for dealing with grief and loss. They have different books, magazines and CD’s on the topic.

My Forever Child -- www.myforeverchild.com Provides beautiful keepsakes for parents who have lost a baby.

Baby Grief -- www.babygrief.com Hope and encouragement for those who have lost a baby

Share Organization -- www.nationalshare.org Serves those who are touched by the tragic death of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death.

SIDS network -- www.sids-network.org Reaches out to families who have lost a baby to sudden infant death syndrome.

StillBirth -- www.stillbirthsupport.org Full of information including causes, definitions and other resources.

Unborn Angels -- www.unbornangels.com A place to remember and appreciate babies that died too soon.

FACEBOOK Groups:

Little Angel Wings

Hope for Awareness for Infant and Pregnancy Loss

Websites and Support Groups:

Don’t forget to light a candle for your baby on

October 15th at 7pm

for Pregnancy/Infant Loss

Remembrance Day

Michelle Murray was born in Toronto and grew up in Pickering, Ontario where she currently resides with her husband Jason and their two daughters, Kendra and Jocelyn. Their first son Tyler was

born with a severe heart condition and passed away when he was seven weeks old.

One day while on maternity leave I was filling out my daughter’s baby book and I was heartbroken that I did not have a proper baby book for my son Tyler. Filling out a normal baby book did not feel right and it also felt very incomplete. I designed this little angel book because I was unable to find

a baby book special enough to keep all my son’s memories in one place.

Sharing this baby book with other parents who have also suffered a loss means a lot to me. I hope it will become a treasured keepsake of your child’s life that you can look back on for years to come.

This book can be a touching gift for a grieving family who has lost a child. When you just don’t know what to say, this book will show that you care and

that you will remember their child forever.

Visit us on the web – www.foreverheart.ca - to find out where you can buy additional copies.

Contact me at [email protected] with your comments or questions.

Michelle

This special memory book is dedicated to those babies whose lives have ended too soon.

It provides families who have experienced the loss of a baby whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death, the opportunity to create a baby book that can be customized

speci!cally to their own situation.

You can add and remove pages as you lovingly !ll out the sections that apply to your little angel.

Documents

I Will Hold You In My Heart Forever