March 24 , 2 01 4 I s s ue 8

International House Globe2

Presidential Address / page 3

ICAC Trivia / page 4

ILO Report / page 4

CIR Report / page 5

A Week Of Colour / page 6

Culture Vulture / page 8

Empire / page 9

How Much Do You Really Know About IH? / page 10

Cat Empire / page 11

Sports Report / page 11

Table of contents

IH GLOBEWe were robbed

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE GLOBE TEAM

A health and safety note to our international students.

The Globe is published weekly by Rosie Marsland on behalf of the International House Student Club. The material here is edited but uncensored and therefore the views expres-sed here do not reflect those of the editor. Please share

your ideas, opinions, ads and skills with us by emailing us at ihglobe@gmail.com

The Globe acknowledges the Wurrundjeri people as the traditional owers of this land. We pay our respects to their

elders, past and present.

Editor

Rosie Marsland

Sub-Editors

Emma Randles

Aleqiu Coeur

Design

Miguel Lontoc

Photography

Larnie Hewat

The Internet

Contributions

Jacqui Beech

Maggie Greenham

Alexandre Guérin

Larnie Hewat

Rahul Ingle

Rosie Marsland

Inika Reinhardt

Sophie Sievert-Koster

Tom Soh

Alexander Wojno

Emily Vearing

Martina Wylie

Etienne Mortier

Holly Tepper

Thomas Schmidt

March 24, Issue 8 3

Presidential addressCongratulations everyone! You’ve all made it 1/4 of the way

through the semester!! Now, it is the time when the first lots of

major assignments are due soon and we at IH, also begin to get

to the business side of things. But first a recap of the past week.

This weekend saw the guys in the cricket semi finals and based on

their current record we would guess they also played in the finals

so great job to the lads and you will most definitely have heard

if they had won IH’s first back to back cricket championships. We

also saw the girls playing in the quarter finals of softball so, well

done to them! Now arguably the biggest event was last night’s

Dance Off, where 12 of our very own got to showcase how awe-

some our fresher dance is once again. They have allocated many

FROM THE EDITOR ViIIWow, ‘tis a very exciting Sunday that I’m writing this on! Possibly the greatest chance IH

has ever had to win intercollegiate fame and glory multiple times in one day! We are a

rather talented bunch, I must say. Shoutouts to all who are competing in the name of the

Panda today (or rather, yesterday), whether you won or lost, we love you forever, and ever,

and ever, year(s) of the panda, etc etc.

I feel like I say this in every Editor’s letter I write, but holy moley it’s already Week 4! To you

freshers that may not seem like much time, but let me tell you, that means a quarter of the

the semester has already gone by and that means it’s nearly Easter and after that it’s nearly

SWOTVAC and then more time flies by and before you know it you’ve finished your degree

and you’re having a post-uni crisis, oh god what am I doing with my life....

But anyway, at the moment its only Week 4, so let’s party and celebrate and let the good

times flow...

Much Love! xoxo Rosemary

hours to practice over the past week to make it look as amazing

as it did so if you see any of the dancers around make sure you

recognise their efforts. Massive thanks must be given to Kelly and

Amanda for all the work that they put in to organising the team as

well as for choreographing the dance during N Week.

As for things that lie ahead of us, Mexican National Night is just

three weeks away, which is on the 12th of April (Note the date in

your calendars) and Café International isn’t far behind so make

sure to keep an eye and ear (or two) out for announcements on

Facebook or at dinner about how you can get involved for both

events. These nights simply do not function without your support

so get around them and have a great week everyone.

- Rahul & Tom

International House Globe4

Firstly it was awesome to have a bunch of IHers head down to

the Turkish Pazar Festival at the Vic Market, good times and

great gozlemes! Thanks to the cultural committee for doing a

super sweet job leading that.

The CC is also looking at organising a group of IHers to go

to the Melbourne Zoo and Bridget will organise an outing to

Slamalamadingdong, a slam poetry night which both should

be awesome events!

Most excitingly, it’s time for HOLI FESTIVAL! So for those of

you who haven’t encountered Holi before, it’s a spring festi-

val known as the festival of colours and/or the festival of love

and is primarily celebrated in India and Nepal. What we will

be doing for Holi is a massive PAINT FIGHT! This will consist of

powdered paint and y’all going nuts throwing it at each other!

We will also have a HENNA STALL and the long awaited return

of the IH Baking Club making delish goodies for us all! All the-

se sweet things will be happening at 2pm THIS SATURDAY on

the Wadham / Greycourt Lawn so we’ll see you all there and

happy Holi everyone!

Last Sunday night, instead of sitting through an epic GM, a

group of IHers headed over to Queens and settled themselves

into their impressive dining hall. Our team of trivia enthusiasts

split up amongst the different tables, talking to the residents

from the different colleges on and off the crescent.

The ICAC executives led the evening, reading questions from 5

different categories: general knowledge; popular culture; geo-

graphy; sports and colleges. To give you an idea of how difficult

the questions were, here is one for you to try and figure out:

“Name all of the Kardashian sisters (including half sisters.).”

Other rounds included a paper plane throwing round where

our own Miguel threw a very impressive paper plane, almost

making the length of the Queen’s dining hall. The crowd favou-

rite of the night though would have to be ‘Deer or no Deer?’

– a game that involved jumping up with your hands on your

forehead like antlers.

In the end the winning team, ‘I wish this microphone was a pe-

nis,’ took home the prestigious, plastic, gold trivia trophies. IH

unfortunately wasn’t one of the lucky winners, but when you’re

meeting new people and having fun, everyone is a winner!

WRITER: Inika Reinhardt

ICAC TRIVIAWRITER: Maggie Greenham

ILO Report

March 24, Issue 8 5

Close the Gap Day

“Indigenous Australians can expect to live 10-17 years less

than other Australians and babies born to Aboriginal mothers

die at more than twice the rate of other Australian babies.”

Oxfam Australia has committed itself to the ongoing cam-

paign to Close the Gap between Indigenous and non-Indi-

genous Australian’s health standards. Thanks to everyone

who supported our Close the Gap Day event here at IH, an

opportunity o reaffirm our commitment to the cause and

celebrate Australia’s Indigenous culture. The signed pledges

will be sent off to our PM this week! If you missed out on Sa-

turday but still want to support the cause head to the Oxfam

Australia website and follow the prompts to the Close the

Gap page where you can send a letter to call for action!

World’s Greatest Shave

This is a fantastic cause that supports Leukaemia Foun-

dation with vital funds to achieve its goals – providing

support to people with blood cancer, as well as mi-

llions in research. Anyone interested shaving or colou-

ring their hair in support of the World’s Greatest Sha-

ve please speak to Don! Go on, Be Brave and Shave!

Run for the Kids

Run for the Kids is an event that is an IH volunteering tradi-

CIR REPORT tion. The race is a fundraiser for the Good Friday Appeal, the

biggest fundraiser for Victoria’s Royal Children’s Hospital. By

volunteering not only do you get to have some fun and get

cool t-shirt but you are also helping to support an awesome

cause, so sign up! But be quick, the race is on Sunday, April

13th, and race directors need to finalise volunteer numbers!

Come have a chat to me if you have any queries and be sure

to let me know if you do sign up so we can organise a team

convoy there on race day! Let’s keep this IH ritual going! Head

to runforthekids.com.au and follow the prompts to sign up!

Live Below the Line

It’s almost that time of year again where IHers among us give

up their mid-week take out from Thai Cul, daily caffeine fix

on campus and $1 champas from ABC to live on $2 a day. It

ain’t easy, but neither is living in extreme poverty. This is a

weeklong challenge to try and help us understand how hard

it is to live without freedom of choice and to raise awareness

and funds for the 1.2 billion people living in extreme poverty

in our world today. For us this challenge lasts only five days,

but for the people living in poverty it is a daily struggle wi-

thout any certainty. More details to come soon but if you’re

already keen to get involved, go to the Live Below the Line

website and join the International House, Melbourne team!

Environments Committee

Applications have now closed for the Environments Commit-

tee Coordinator. The successful applicant will be announced

later this week and then it’s over to them! Watch this space for

details on the finalised committee and regular meeting times!

Davis Project Update

Thanks to everyone who sent us an application for the Davis

Project Committee! The final committee will be announced la-

ter this week! Details will be coming soon about how to get in-

volved with the project, even if you don’t make the committee.

WRITER: Larnie Hewat

International House Globe6

MONDAY

24TUESDAY

25 WEDNESDAY

26THURSDAY

27POWER OUTAGEDue to maintenance works, the power will be off from 9am-5pm (Fels Apartments from 12:45pm-5:15pm). This means no lights, air con-ditioning, computers, lifts, phones, fridges, servers, etc. Yay!

GC MEETING9:30pm at High Table!

A WEEK OFAC MEETINGAC meeting on tonight at 9:30pm on High Table.

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS ORCHESTRA AUDI-TIONSMake sure you’ve signed up online if you are trying out (*cough* Jimothy and Jacob). Best of luck to all the IHers auditioning! Message Miguel for more information.

HIGH TABLEHead down to the dining hall before 6:45pm for a prompt start to High Table!

EARTH HOUR: THE (UNPLUGGED) FESTIVALCome along to the Sou-th Lawn at 5pm for an unplugged festival, where all the lights will be tur-ned off. Just look for the solar panelled fairy lights, picnic rugs, roaming mu-sicians and free food!

March 24, Issue 8 7

FUTSALFutsal. Erry night. Yay.

EDUCATION WEEKYour chance to find out how to make the most of your uni experience. Wor-kshops, info sessions and speakers from Monday to Thursday this week, so check out the UMSU website for more info!

MELBOURNE IN-TERNATIONAL CO-MEDY FESTIVALThe Melbourne Interna-tional Comedy Festival has begun! Running until the 20th of April, there’s plenty of time to check it out! Visit the Comedy Festival website for the deets.

FRIDAY

28SATURDAY

29 30ALL WEEK

:DSWORDCRAFTForget clubbing, Swordcraft is where it’s at. Come down to the Sou-thern Pavillion of Princes Park (right across from IH) at 6:30pm dressed in your finest medieval fighting attire for an awesome night of swordplay with 250 other people! Registration and insurance is $2! Welcome to the World of Swordcraft.

SUNDAY

COLOURHOLII know that mid-semes-ter break isn’t until April, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a holi-day be-forehand (haha I’m hila-rious). Come down to the Wadham Lawn this after-noon from 2pm onwards for a massive paint fight hosted by the IH Cultural Committee. There will be free food and henna as well - Happy Holi!

ROYAL WALK AND FUN RUNThe Royal Walk and Fun Run is a 4.5km and 9km walk or run to raise funds for the Royal Melbourne Hospital. 10am-1pm in Princes Park, visit the website for more info!

UKULELE CLUB1pm today! Woop woop!

ICAC POOL AND DARTSA super-fun event held at the Turf Club! Listen out for announcements about try outs and get involved in some interco-llegiate lovin’.

International House Globe8

In my head I sang, “One of these things is not like the others” this week when I attended a salsa lesson. I saw the posters adver-

tising free salsa classes in the window of Mezza Bar and Grill on Sydney road and decided to give it a go. With my love of free

things, learning new skills and exotic cultures that can seem very far away from my rural Australian upbringing, it seemed like a

brilliant idea. I’m not saying that it wasn’t any good, but it certainly wasn’t what I expected.

The reason I felt like I did not belong had nothing to do with the fact that I know very little about Latin culture and am about as

close to a stereotype of a However-Many-Generation-Anglo-Australian Settler as you can find in these parts. It had everything

to do with my age. I assumed that since the class was free, that student-types would have been flocking to Mezza on a balmy

Tuesday evening. I was wrong. I found myself in the company of three middle-aged budding salsa dancers, a middle-aged salsa

instructor and the bartender, who seemed like he was just there to supervise but secretly wanted to join in. I stood out a little

bit, which is not a feeling I’m particularly used to.

As it turned out, the ads weren’t very clear either, if you’re keen to check them out for yourselves. The first forty-five minutes of

dance class are free, which is great. The instructor Michael took us through some of the basic footwork of salsa pretty thoroughly

(aka slowly). It did feel nice going to a dance class and not feeling like an uncoordinated mess, which is how I usually feel going

to dance classes/playing ball sports/ just walking from A to B. After the introductory session though, it cost $15 to stay, learn

the partner work, and join in those better acquainted with the dance that arrive later. I bailed on staying for the later classes.

Am I going to go next week? Yes. Am I going to stay for the whole evening? You betcha! I haven’t sold the experience well at

all but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t fall a little bit in love with salsa. I liked the atmosphere in Mezza, I liked that Michael, the

instructor, made sure we were all on the same level of competence before he moved on to the next step. I liked the people I met

there and I would love it if more people would take advantage of this. Dancing lessons can be really expensive and you can pull

out your salsa moves in many a situation where dancing is wanted/expected/required. It looks considerably better than that

awkward habitual shuffle that is all too common among those who don’t like to dance before they’ve a drink or too.

If you’re free next Tuesday at 6:15pm, come to Mezza Bar and Grill with me; even if you only stay for the free bit!

WRITER: Emily Vearing

culture vulture

March 24, Issue 8 9

The eyes were green, cold and ruthless, yet precise and calcula-

ting. Strong Slavic features bred in the raging winters of Siberia

and an iron body crafted through countless hours of labour in

the unforgiving ice left a man with almost physical immortality.

A titanium frame which seldom succumbed to pain or injury.

Yet for all the grandiose physical power, Alexei Tomolov’s mind

was crippled by doubt and uncertainty. The recent death of his

father had created a firestorm of controversy in the local branch

of the KGB, and the wild horse needed a master. But Alexei had

alternative plans in motion.

After his father’s funeral, Alexei’s mother, Eva, had walked over

to him briskly in a solemn state. He stared at her deep, sunken

eyes, and a wave of utter sorrow swept over him. Sorrow that

he was about to abandon such a caring, loving figure who had

tended to his every waking whim since his first moments on this

earth, and brought him up to the powerful man he was today.

He had his life to owe to Eva.

Her lips parted in an attempt to speak, then closed again. Alexei

knew that look. It was the look she always had when she was

about to tell Alexei very severe news.

“I know about everything mother. This is not new to me. I shall

likely see you at home, Thank you for everything.” He said me-

chanically. Alexei then kissed her on the cheek and waved goo-

dbye as he strode away rapidly to his waiting Mercedes Benz.

Leaning on the door was a very tall man, dressed in dark grey

attire. Nico, his closest friend.

“Alexei, my condolences. Forgive my inquiry, but are you still

planning to go?” Nico spoke gruffly.

“Yes, they will be looking for me, it is not safe anymore Nico.”

Alexei replied.

“But what about Natasha? The life you have with her? You’re

willing to just throw that all away? Did you even tell her about

what you are going to do? Does she know you’re leaving? What

about your mother?”

Alexei knew he would bring this up.

“Christ Nico, I’m doing what I have to, I loved Natasha more

than I could ever tell you, but she isn’t running from one of the

most murderous organisations in the world. I have to go.” He

shoved Nico aside, to Nico’s great shock. Alexei ignited the en-

gine and sped off immediately. He heard a shout from his open

window, fading into the distance.

“Alexei, brother! I hope you know what you’re doing!” The

ghostly words echoed in his mind.

As he pulled up to the futuristic mass of electronics, grids, glass,

and above all, planes, he felt queasy approaching the parking

bay of Domodevodo airport. He could smell the acrid fumes

of jet fuel already. Overhead were enormous digital banners,

brightly showcasing a lurid spectrum of colours apparently re-

presenting the newly opened shopping mall in the centre of the

city, Malya Centrum. The gassy humming of the many planes

taxiing around the runway were a loud reminder of the chemi-

cally fuelled metallic beast Alexei will be riding in. He closed his

eyes and slammed the steering wheel with his fist. It was now

or never.

He stepped out into the frosty air in his warm winter jacket and

removed his two large suitcases from the boot. The satin cove-

ring was smooth to the touch, somewhat reassuring. He crossed

the road to the big board detailing all features of the airport,

and after some inspection found the car shipping department.

His exotic, motorized beauty would go with him to the edges of

oblivion, if it was the last thing he took.

After checking into his flight and registering his vehicle for shi-

pping, Alexei was resting in the airport lounge, sipping a strong

black coffee. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something.

A face. Someone he knew? He looked up to see a woman at

the Café, deliberating upon the assortment of fruity scrolls and

pastries lying behind the glass on elegant white platters. He

focused, trying to see what it was that caught his eye. That slen-

der frame, and silky black hair, tied back in a ponytail resting

on her shoulder... it couldn’t be. He put down his coffee and

absent-mindedly walked towards the Café, leaving his luggage

back at his chair. As he came closer, he noticed the woman’s

long, graceful legs, the legs of a veteran dancer and gymnast.

Then it flashed. The glint of a silver gun. The woman quickly

turned around, and Alexei’s heart stopped. It was Natasha.

EMPIREA short story by Alex wojno

International House Globe10

The Globe team decided to hit the streets, er, dining hall, and

find out how much you really know about IH. Questions from

Rosie Marsland, Ollie Gadsden, Susie Tindall, Alexandre Guérin

and Maggie Greenham. Answers below - no peeking!

1. What are Jane’s and PC’s dogs called?

Jake Tremelling: PC’s is called Spot

Jacob Trethowan: PC and Jane respectively.

2. What company did IH once have shares in?

Bridget Loughhead: Something we can support morally.

Jim Browne: Google

3. What was PC arrested for?

Wymbie: J-walking

Jim Browne: DUI

4. Who or what is PCD?

Jim Browne: Peter Cole Disorder. You drink lots of red wine and

pass out.

Jacob Trethowan: You must lean on every lecturn you see. And

you must have at least 5 ums per sentence.

5. How many games of girls footy has IH won over its his-

tory?

Jim: 13

Bridget: 69

6. What does the AM in Jane’s title mean?

Jim Browne: All Mighty

7. What is New New Building’s real name?

Bridget Loughhead: Seng told me, “it should be Peter Cole

building. He deserves a building.”

8. What was the mascot before Panda?

How much do you really know

about ih?

Zoe Akindele-Obe: A skylark, like on the crest. Some kind of

bird maybe. Doves?

Wymbie: Something lame like a penguin

9. What floor once hired a stripper for the floor tutor as a

joke, only to have the stripper locked out running around

in the nude?

Bridget Loughhead: Greycourt, aka Gaycourt.

10. What animal is in the Wadham lift?

SNAPCHAT

SNAPCHAT OF THE WEEKGabe has waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on his hands. Recommended viewing in colour!

Send in your snapchats to ‘ihglobeyo’ for your chance to be in next week’s edition!

Actual Answers:

1. PC’s is called Baxter and Jane’s is called Felix2. Krispy Kreme3. Trick question! Our beloved deputy head has in fact never been arrested – as far as we know…4. Peter Cole’s daughter, real name April (we think)5. 06. Member of the Order of Australia7. Centre for Living and Learning8. A dragon9. Greycourt10. A giraffe

March 24, Issue 8 11

Hello Globesters!

Open Up Your Face to our recollection of the Reasonably Fine

majestic ear sounds that were played at the free Cat Empire

concert last Friday. Its Days Like These that were made for shim-

mying up against Sly strangers and dancing like Wild Animals in

The Crowd. You can always rely on these musicians to Steal the

Light of Federation Square and get you dancing like a monkey

up a tree to The Wine Song.

Two Shoes and The Rhythm was all Etienne needed to be stuck

in a salsa trance lead by the smooth vocals of Felix and the sexy

Shoulders of Harry, the two front men who drove out the funky

tune of The Car Song that made us all hungry for more music.

But instead we went to get pizza after the show with the order

number One Four Five.

We’re really sad that the Feeling’s Gone and we have to wait for

the next concert, but alas iTunes can always Call Me Home with

more Cat Empire.

p.s If you didn’t recognize at least all of these song titles you

need to sort out your priorities and if you did than you’re Brigh-

ter Than Gold.

Much Love xx

Marty, Etienne and Holly.

CAT EMPIREMartina Wylie, Etienne Mortier and Holly Tepper

give a poetic summary of cat empire’s free concert

SSPPOORRTTSS!!

It’s going awesome! Our panda kicked off the year smas-

hing all the other mascots to take first place in the mascot

race through a bouncy castle obstacle course; it really was

a sight to see.

The guy’s cricket team followed this going undefeated

into the Grand Final and whacking their way to victory

against UC to win back to back first place!!

The girl’s softball team played the games of their lives with

only a few trainings together to go undefeated into the

Grand Final where after a very tough match they brought

home the silver.

The IH squash team, most of whom have never played

before, has fought their way into the quarterfinals without

winning a single match, now that’s impressive, let’s all

cheer them on for their next match on Tuesday.

Coming up, we have the hockey and football (soc-

cer) to look forward to as well as the highly enter-

taining rowing regatta!! LET”S GET EXCITED YYY-

YEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

SPORTS REPORTWhoooooooooooo! SPORTS! BY SCHMITTY!

LIttle shop of horrors orchestral auditions!join bridget, jonathan and miguel, alongside other college students

in this year’s icac musical, sure to be a hilarious success!

In essence, Little Shop of Horrors is a comedy-horror musical about a meek, awkward botanist, a sadistic, nitrous oxide huffing dentist and a giant, talking, man-eating alien plant that wants to

take over the world.

Orchestra auditions on Tuesday, and a Publicity and Sponsorship position is still available as well. Applications for backstage and set, costumes and such will open soon, so keep and eye out!

Orchestra sign-ups at icaclittleshop.signupsheet.com, or send an e-mail to icaclittleshop@gmail.com for more info!