individual studies research paper

Running Head: STRESS INFLUENCING PARTNERS’ COMMUNICATION DURING WEDDING PLANNING 1

Preparing to Say “I Do”:

The Effects of Wedding Planning Stress

Heidi Metzler

Youngstown State University

April 17, 2015

STRESS INFLUENCING PARTNERS’ COMMUNICATION 2

Abstract

Planning a wedding is said to be one of the most joyous times in every bride’s life, but

unfortunately, the overwhelming amount of stress makes the process a little less enjoyable.

Although some brides insist the planning is not stressful, this article reveals that the majority of

brides believe the wedding planning process to be more stressful than anticipated. Secondly, this

article explores how stress can negatively influence the communication between brides and their

grooms. Lastly, findings reveal certain ways brides manage stress throughout the process that

can ultimately influence communication between couples in a positive manner.

Keywords: Affection Exchange Theory, Buffering Hypothesis, stress, gender displays,

“Bridezilla”


Introduction

It is the day that is most anticipated in a person’s entire life, their wedding day. She

finally got engaged, and she is on cloud nine thinking she can now make her childhood wedding

dreams come to life in 9 months. Three months later with 6 more to go, she is dreading making

more decisions and laments over refusing to elope. She wonders if the big day will even be

worth all the work. A person’s wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of his/her life, but the

planning involved is not as joyous of an occasion.

As a bride myself, I can attest to the fact that the planning process is so stressful, it makes

a courthouse wedding appealing. Viewing the planning process from a communications

standpoint, it in inevitable that the stress from planning can affect communication between the

bride and groom. Unfortunately stress, defined as when people do not know how to respond

appropriately to a given situation (Maki, 2009), causes the communication to be full of tension,

frustration, annoyance, and overall negative feelings. Therefore, the purpose of this ethnography

is to examine how brides and grooms communicate within the wedding planning process via the

theoretical frameworks of the Buffering Hypothesis, which is defined as partners utilize

communication supports to reduce stress in the relationship (2009) and the Affection Exchange

Theory, which is defined as partners who use affection to adapt to the relationship and avoid

potential dissolution (Floyd & Riforgiate, 2008), that will be the foundation to expound upon the

communication supports.

There are many studies that examine romantic relationships in the beginning stages and

serious stages of dating as well as relationships in marriage; however, exploring how couples

communicate while they are engaged has not been thoroughly explored. What do couples


experience while transitioning into a new chapter in their relationship? How does their

communication change? Could factors, like stress, provoke negative messages to the point of

damaging the relationship or even dissolution? There is a plethora of communication aspects

that researchers have not explored, therefore, do not understand. Thus, it is important to examine

how a relationship within the transitional stage of engagement can be exciting and uplifting but

also harmful to the relationship if stress is not dealt with appropriately or reduced. Between the

two foundational theories, stress can be detrimental but manageable when communicating in a

relationship, specifically in a romantic relationship. Thus, this study will examine the

foundations of ethnography, studies regarding stress in planning a wedding, gender roles of

planning responsibility, and ways to reduce stress.

Ethnography

As a researcher, this is my first attempt to complete ethnography. Therefore, the first step

for any new researcher is to gain knowledge of the type of research one is conducting or

participating in. After viewing many sites about ethnography, research that is arranged by

analyzing data that is collected by talking with people and observing the culture in attempts to

make sense of it (Johnston, 2015), my job as an ethnographer is to immerse myself in a

community of brides, me being one myself, and observe the subculture to make sense of their

behaviors and interactions (2015).

Specifically, when completing ethnography of communication, analyzing an aspect of

how a particular group of people communicate (Milburn, 2015), it is essential to note ways of

speaking, or styles of communication people use in certain situations (2015). By noting the

different communication styles and relating them to the situations, it gives the ethnographer

quality data to analyze and make sense of it. In order to gather adequate data to study,


ethnographers use many tools and techniques. The most common method to gather data that

characterizes the study of ethnography is for the researcher to be a participant-observer,

involving oneself in the lives of those being studied while monitoring and interpreting

interrelationships and behaviors within the group or culture (Sangasubana, 2011). Other

methods involve interviewing for information and archival research, or studying from already

accessible materials (2011). Milburn (2015) offers the Hymes’ speaking model to help

ethnographers conduct research which involves paying attention to: the situation, participants

involved and the roles, acts including form and content, key or vocalics, instrumentality of

communication, norms of communication, and genres of culture, like small talk, prayers,

proverbs, conflict resolution, etc.

After gathering all the data, ethnographers, like all researchers, need to assess four

different components to ensure the quality of data. The components include: reactivity, or the

amount of influence the observer’s presence had over the group’s behaviors, reliability, defined

as the ability to be consistent in measuring what one wants to measure, credibility, and validity,

or correctly analyzing and interpreting the data (2011). Overall, there are many things to

consider when deciding to conduct ethnography which can be very time consuming and

involved. Thus, Johnston (2015) suggests that ethnographers must have special training and

education within the fields of sociology and anthropology at a graduate level in order to gain an

adequate amount of insightful knowledge and data.

Gaining a general understanding of what ethnography entails, conducting the research in

an ethnographic manner was deemed appropriate since I can provide rich data from my own

experiences in addition to others as I, the researcher, am already included in the group of brides

due to my current state of relationship engagement. Firstly, there needs to be a foundation of


research that examines why brides are taking on a huge challenge of planning their own

weddings.

The Bride’s Job: A Gendered Role

Planning a wedding that costs thousands of dollars and while hundreds of guests that will

judge the quality of the ceremony and reception is a big task for a bride. Even though asking for

others to help plan the big event would be beneficial and take some weight off of the bride, our

society has developed gender displays, defined as habitual behaviors that express and identify

masculinity and/or femininity (Humble, 2009) that program the public to believe it is the bride’s

responsibility to do it all. For example, Patten Sagardia (2011) exposes multimedia, specifically

the nationally known wedding website TheKnot.com, as a huge culprit in distinguishing gender

roles within planning a wedding. The majority of brides in this millennial generation rely on

websites, magazines, etc. for advice on how to plan the perfect wedding since the vast amount of

articles are written for brides only (2011). By targeting brides as the target audience of wedding

planning advice, it builds a perception that they are the ones to accept the responsibilities. In an

ethnographic study, Sniezek (2005) intently looked at how wedding planning responsibilities,

defined as making mundane, detail oriented decisions for the wedding, were delegated amongst

brides and grooms. This study revealed that in all of bride/groom relationships, work involving

the wedding was unequally divided despite couples stating otherwise, which suggests that both

men and women’s perceptions of what is considered fair and equal involved the bride

automatically doing more work than the groom (2005). Moreover, all of the brides completed

more general and specific tasks than grooms, relying on bridal books, magazines and media to

aid them in the decision making process (2005).


Although brides do most of the planning, our society is currently challenging gender

norms by targeting grooms’ involvement. Humble (2009) expounds upon that challenge studies

show egalitarian couples, who liberally adhere to gender displays, tend to acknowledge and

utilize grooms’ organizational skills more than couples who adhere strictly or moderately to

gender displays. For most grooms, they have the responsibility of looking for suits or tuxedos,

reception details like alcohol, going to wedding consultations, and even registering for gifts

which is a very small amount of responsibility considering the entire planning process (Marco).

However, in the general society, grooms are seen as more of a nuisance than a help as the media

coaches brides to control the groom’s involvement and efforts toward the wedding. In fact, an

article from Bridal Guide (2014) advising brides on how to deal with the 4 types of

“groomzillas,” which are grooms that are unhelpful and add more stress to the bride. The article

gives details on how to involve the types of grooms that include: nod-and-smile grooms that

suppress their own feeling to relinquish complete control to the bride, overbearing grooms take

over the planning and are too involved, lazy grooms are apathetic and refuse to participate in

planning, and finally, too-traditional grooms that will only take responsibility that are

traditionally given to grooms (2014). Articles such as this one, only display grooms in negative

manner that stereotypes all grooms as an unhelpful burden to the planning process. According to

Patten Sagardia (2011), TheKnot.com build upon that gendered stereotype for the few articles

that were targeted towards grooms or mentioned grooms depicted them as lazy and secondary to

the bride. As society views grooms as almost nonexistent in the planning process, it is perceived

by most that brides are required to bare most of the responsibility which can feel a sense of

loneliness and overwhelmingly stressful.

Stress


Although brides have to deal with the relationship between them and their grooms, that

particular dyadic relationship is only one of many that can cultivate stress or tension. Relational

dialectics are defined as constant, internal battles between two opposing forces that result into

feelings of tension in a relationship (Mathis, 2009). There are many dialectical tensions, but

Mathis (2009) concluded that brides experience three types of tensions within their relationships

between the mother/mother-in-law, friend/bridesmaid, and the groom. The first tension brides

experienced with their mother/mother-in-law were stability-change, or need for stability in

tradition yet uniqueness in change, regarding decisions of a traditional or non-traditional

wedding (2009). Secondly, the brides felt expression-non-expression tension, or the need to

maintain privacy yet disclose information, in the bridesmaid/friend relationships (2009). Lastly,

brides and grooms experienced integration-separation tensions, the need to be together yet

independent (2009).

In the midst of planning a wedding, there are many factors that can contribute to the

bride’s amount of stress. While Mathis (2009) gave general tensions within relationships,

Cramer & Lafreniere (2003) explored specific situations that can increase a bride’s stress level.

For example, potential stress inducers include but are not limited to: family disagreements,

having an older fiancé, financial struggles, religious or cultural disagreements, and lack of

control over wedding planning (2003). In addition to those stressors, brides feel major pressure

from social networks and media to achieve flawless beauty (Breines, 2013) and create a perfect

day (Patten Sagardia, 2011). Grooms also experience stress due to having a younger fiancé, the

wedding date is fast approaching and financial issues; however, studies have proven that women

experience more stress than men during this process (Cramer & Lafreniere, 2003). When an


individual experiences continual stress from endless sources, it is bound to affect the way he/she

communicates and is perceived by others.

Despite the innumerous but typical amount of stress a bride has, she is still expected to

act in a certain manner. As Breines has claimed (2013), brides are expected to behave according

to the ideals of femininity, which are defined as stereotypes of what a bride is supposed to

portray such as: gentleness, innocence, fragileness, and submissiveness. However, in today’s

society and wedding industry, brides feel the need to be competitive, assertive, and decisive in

order to get exactly what the bride desires. These behaviors that oppose traditional and feminism

norms combined with stress can cause a bride to be labeled as a “bridezilla” (2013). However,

Breines (2013) further explains that brides have a fear of becoming a “bridezilla” due to the

negative connotation and meaning described as a bride who is not liked by others because she

has no control over her emotions with little regard for others when in the planning process.

Therefore, brides feel pressure to act a certain way despite the feelings they are experiencing

inside.

Managing Stress

The last thing a bride desires would be to ruin the wedding day due to the awful

experience of planning it plus everyone dislikes her. Therefore, studies have shown numerous

ways to reduce stress, and many advice columns in bridal media confront the issue of stress by

offering helpful ways to manage or avoid stress. Firstly, in order to avoid the “bridezilla” label,

Breines (2013) advises brides to accept imperfection, do not hide emotions, and concentrate on

the love between the bride a groom rather than appearance or looks. To eliminate stress due to

the lack of time to get tasks accomplished, consider investing in a wedding planner, delegate

responsibilities to friends and family members, or elongate the engagement stage to allow more


time for the planning process (Kwiatkowski, 2010). These are great ways to reduce stress

regarding adequate time and feelings of acceptance in social networks; however, there could be

stress or tension built up in dyadic relationships between the bride and groom, bride and family

or friends.

Stress can decrease within relationships due to the manner in which a person

communicates. Communication is particularly important between the bride and groom. From

the time a bride and groom meet to the moment they become engaged or even married, the

couple will develop their communication between each other. By the time a couple enters into

the engagement stage, they establish communicative negetrophy, or elements that increase

effectiveness of communication between individuals to establish or maintain the romantic

relationship (Krain, 1975). Due to the development of the communication over the span of the

relationship, Krain (1975) concludes that there is a linear career process, which is defined as first

having problematic or confrontational communication that eventually neutralizes, that occurs

throughout the stages of romantic relationships. This study indicates that couples naturally

develop a manner of communicating with one another throughout the dating process that helps

the partners maintain a healthy, romantic relationship as opposed to communicating ineffectively

that would lead to relationship turbulence or even dissolution.

The natural process of developing communication skills within romantic relationships

could be due to the desire to show affection toward one another. Affection is defined as a

communication behavior that is used to build and maintain close relationships (Floyd &

Riforgiate, 2008). With the Affection Exchange Theory as the framework of this study, Floyd

and Riforgiate (2008) found that participants stress levels were significantly lower when they

received affection via support communication from their partner verses when they did not


receive any form of supportive communication. These findings suggest individuals that verbally

showing affection can decrease tension and stress in a dyadic relationship. Maki & Dillow

(2009) look deeper into the types of support communication individuals can utilize to reduce

their partners stress levels. There are numerous types of support communication; however,

social support, defined as seeking out people in various relationships to reduce stress, and

enacted support, defined as what takes place when conversing both verbally and non-verbally,

are the two support communication that reduced the most stress within participants of the study

(2009). It is evident that one of the best ways to reduce stress involves a partner or an individual

in a close relationship verbally communicate affection and support. Therefore, within the

wedding planning process, brides and grooms should communicate affection and support to one

another verbally and non-verbally to relieve stress and tension especially if is between the

couple. With the knowledge of all of these findings, there are ways to cultivate a positive

wedding planning process with minimal stress.

Summary

Overall, couples who are planning a wedding take on their first big project, resulting in

the first big stressor of their relationship. Stress stems from many different factors such as

finances, dialectical tensions, unhelpful grooms, heavy loads of responsibility, the list could go

on. Moreover, our society deems it necessary for the bride to take most of the responsibility of

planning for the wedding, which causes an unequal and unfair divide of duties specifically

between the bride and groom. Fortunately for the stressed bride and possibly groom, studies

have shown proven ways to reduce stress in this particular experience. Within these studies, the

Buffering Hypothesis (Maki & Dillow, 2009) and the Affection Exchange Theory (Floyd &


Riforgiate, 2008) were utilized to form the best possible way of reducing stress between the bride

and groom via verbal and non-verbal support, or affection, communication.

Although these studies provide adequate insight to the wedding planning process, all of

these studies are hindered by limitations. Most studies had very small samples that did not give

accurate representations of the general population. Due to such small samples, researchers did

not consider cultural backgrounds (Sniezek, 2005), and the only two studies that considered race

or culture conducted by Humble (2009) and Mathis (2009) recruited only Caucasian participants.

Furthermore, participants evaluated and defined their own relationships regarding which dating

stage they were currently in (Krain, 1975) and what constitutes as a long-distance relationship

(Maki & Dillow, 2009). Finally, there are many factors within multiple studies that could skew

the stress levels of the participants. Sniezek (2005) was unclear of how much time participants

had to plan while Cramer and Lafreniere (2003) interviewed individuals that had 9 months; time

to plan can have a major influence on how stressed couple become in the wedding planning

process. Finally, outside factors like recruiting a healthier sample that the actual population

(Floyd & Riforgiate, 2008) or medical, relational, and situational factors (Maki & Dillow, 2009)

were not taken into account; but researchers should consider these additional stress factors for

future studies.

After viewing the findings of this study, it is clear that couples in the wedding planning

process deal with many factors that affect the way they feel throughout the process. As Mathis

(2009) has concluded there are much tension within the romantic relationship, brides and grooms

both experience their share of stress (Cramer & Lafreniere, 2003), which is why so many brides

seek advise on how to manage that stress (Patten Sagardia, 2011). However, no studies

examined what couples experience in between experiencing stress and managing it. Before


couples apply stress reducing tactics, there is a need to examine the communication between the

bride and groom. Thus, leading me to research questions and hypothesis that need to be

explored:

RQ1: Does stress within the wedding planning process have a direct correlation with

relational turbulence?

H1: The wedding planning process provokes an increase in relational conflict than all

other relationship dating stages.

RQ2: What are the most effective ways to manage wedding stress?

H2: Managing stress from wedding planning will decrease relational turbulence by

improving communication between the bride and groom.

Method

Participants

Participants were sought out on TheKnot.com, Facebook, and at my personal home

church. All participants were brides that are either engaged or recently married besides 2 brides

that the stage of the planning process was unclear. 21 participants, including myself, are

engaged and in the planning process, and 4 participants were recently married within the past 1-2

years.

In total, there are 26 participants. 20 of the participants responded to a question I posted on the

Chit Chat blog, and 1 of the participants responded on the Student blog on TheKnot.com. Due to

a more intimate and manageable form of communication, 3 participants were interviewed via

Facebook, 1 participant via text messaging, and 1 participant was interviewed in a private room

face-to-face. All participants believed the questions to regarding how stress festers within the

wedding planning process.


The interview questions

Because there was no way to conduct one-on-one interviews in TheKnot.com community

blog section, I proposed one question to all brides that measured the feeling of stress experienced

within the wedding planning process, and how the stress affects communication between the

bride and groom. However, the other 5 participants were able to be interviewed more in-depth

due to the one-on-one setting. Within the interviews of the 5 participants, they were all

interviews separately using 6 foundational questions. Overall, these questions were designed to

measure how stress and cause tension and how stress can be managed.

Specifically looking at certain elements to the bride and groom relationship within the

planning process, the first question measured whether the bride was experiencing stress within

the wedding planning. Further, I asked questions regarding the affects stress has on the bride

communicating to her groom. For example, “how does the stress reflect how you talk with your

fiancé?” and probing questions such as “do you yell, become snippy, short or mean to him?” or

“Have you had an emotional breakdown in front of him?” The probing questions provoked the

brides to be more open and honest with me, the interviewer, and gave insight to specific effects

in communication. If brides experienced changes in their communication patterns toward the

grooms, I asked a question to measure a possible increase in conflict within the planning process

verses when they were not engaged. Finally, I proposed my last couple questions to measure

tactics used to manage stress and whether those tactics improved the communication between the

couples.

In addition to collecting data from other brides, I was able to gather and analyze my own

communication experiences with my fiancé. When certain instances occurred between us, I


made certain to make note of it. Also, I used some of my own experiences to build rapport and

conversation with all of the participants.

Results

When I first got engaged, so many people have told me to enjoy the process and just have

fun. Unfortunately, the planning process has not been to fun for me. In fact, the process has

created more stress than anticipated. Thus, it led me to ask other brides, and results showed that

18 participants admitted to experiencing stress due to the wedding planning while only 7

participants said that they have not stressed over the wedding. Therefore, the majority of brides

deal with stress during the planning process.

There were many factors that varied between brides that were specifically causing stress.

For example, brides were stressing over expected things like a “guest list and addressing

invitations” and “hating the corsages” or “forgetting to do something,” “[not having] much time

to do it,” “making the right decision,” or trying to “just save money to pay for everything.”

Personally, I stress over the financial situation of having sufficient funds to cover all costs and

making sure the wedding day is executed perfectly. In fact, financial situations are a big stress

factor as one participant said that she “debated cancelling the wedding and re-planning for

cheaper options…the affordable wedding became an unnecessary luxury.”

As brides become more stressed, it is not an emotion that can go undetected; but all

people can react to stress in different ways. However, in the one-on-one interviews, 3 out of five

participants admitted that the stress affects how they talk to their grooms. For example one

participant said: “If I’m stressed, I get really offended by the comments he makes…I’ll get

really sarcastic when he makes suggestions for the wedding like [saying] ‘oh yeah, that would

look great.’” Another bride, like myself, disclosed that she will get “snippy and short” with the


groom and begin to dictate what he is going to do and what certain decisions will be. Some will

end up yelling at the groom in a stressful state.

Knowing there is a clear effect on the participants’ communication with the grooms, the

results showed a positive correlation between changed communication patterns toward grooms

and an increase in conflict/tension. Specifically, one bride has experienced a great increase in

conflict. She said:

“Whoever said planning was fun was lying. Yes. There has definitely been an increase in

tension and conflict. I actually told him ‘please just remember how I use to be, and after

the wedding I promise I will go back to being that girl’… I had to ask my mom if it was

normal for us to be fighting like this.”

This participant was so concerned whether the conflict was normal. They have had the majority

of their arguments within the engagement and planning stage. The participant even jokingly said

at one point that she had to ask God, “is this a sign that we are not supposed to be together?” I

could relate to this bride as I told her a conversation I had with my fiancé. I felt as though my

fiancé and I fight all the time and it got to the point that I had to call him and say:

“Listen, I am very bothered. I just feel like all we do is talk about the wedding, and that

it is more of a business contract than coming together out of love. I feel like all we do is

fight with one another. I mean, do you even like me as a person still?”

Trying to work on a big project together, the wedding is not the only thing that can increase

conflict. One participant said that there has been an increase in conflict; however, she uncovers

another cause as she states below:

“It’s all been getting use to each other’s lifestyle. I’m like a speed boat. I just go, go, go

and make decisions on the spot without really thinking, but [my fiancé] likes to take


things slow and evaluate everything which has caused some conflict. It’s just trying to

adjust to each other.”

This participant struggles with the groom’s personality in the decision-making process which

caused more conflict than anticipated.

Overall, conflict and tension within a romantic relationship does not disappear when

participants decide to get married. In fact, the study showed that couples can experience more

conflict and tension within their romantic relationship than ever before. This finding lead to the

discussion of certain tactics participants use to manage stress and decrease conflict and tension in

the relationship. Reading through all of the participants’ responses, there were two main tactics

that participants utilized to manage stress. Firstly, these couples reminded themselves on the true

reason of getting married. They had to refocus off of making it a perfect, impressive day, to

celebrating the couples love for one another. Secondly, it is very important to create a balance

between wedding planning and spending quality time together without mentioning the wedding.

One participant insisted to, “Make sure that you have a date night or time to just be with one

another. We make it a point to get dressed up and go out once a week and leave all the planning

behind. It’s so nice.” Many other participants concurred as they stated similar tactics such as a

bride needs to “take time off from planning, do fun things with your fiancé, and have regular

date nights.”

Finally, this study showed that managing stress is a key component to reducing conflict

and tension. In fact, there is a positive correlation between utilizing stress-managing tactics and

improvement on communication between brides and grooms. For example, one participant

concluded that after she has been working on reducing stress, she “feels less offended, and talks

in a less sarcastic tone.” Another bride went on to say that she feels “less stressed and more


supported” by her fiancé, and “going on dates helps confirm that the romance is still there and

we still love each other.” Many of the participants that were not stressed offered advice that has

previously been discussed as a reason why they did not experience a stressful wedding planning

process. Utilizing these stress-managing tactics within the wedding process helped participants

feel more of a connection with their grooms and felt less tension and conflict throughout the

process.

Discussion

Although the stress of planning a wedding is a well-known fact, how stress affects the

relationship between the bride and groom via communication has not been vastly explored.

However, the purpose of this study is to see how couples interact in a stressful period of their

relationship despite the period leading to one of the happiest days of the individuals’ lives.

These findings confirm that wedding planning can be very stressful for brides and it can

affect them in multiple ways. In fact, the participants who dealt with stress, fell victim to

emotional break downs and communicating in various ways that indicated an abundance of

stress. Specifically, brides that are stressed are more likely to change the way they speak to their

grooms than non-stressed brides. Change refers to communication that is both given and

received in a negative manner. For example, brides have more of a tendency to be rude, snippy,

short, mean, and offended when speaking with grooms in high stress situations. Some brides feel

that the groom is a by standard getting; they are considered the verbal punching bag as brides

vent to the grooms or take the stress out on them. However, other brides become offended and

use defensive communication tactics if the groom is too verbal or expresses opposing opinions to

the bride. Within this stage of the relationship, grooms are less likely to succumb to feeling

attacked, put down, or belittled. Therefore, relational turbulence is more likely to occur than if it


was in the early stages of a dating relationship when partners are just trying to please each other

and avoid conflict.

The brides that admitted to experiencing a stressful wedding planning process were more

likely to state that they also experienced more tension and conflict within their romantic

relationship. Thus, this leads to the conclusion that there is a positive correlation between

experiencing stress and conflict and tension. Moreover, planning a wedding in itself created

stress among many brides within the study indicating a correlation between planning a wedding

and stress. Looking at these two correlations, they can be brought together to create a cyclical

event. The cyclical event begins with the wedding planning causing stress that eventually leads

to relational turbulence. With stress being the common denominator, these findings confirm that

there is direct correlation between planning a wedding and relational turbulence, answering the

proposed research question.

While the study did show relational turbulence, all couples are bound to experience

tension and conflict. However, as noted above, it appears that in the beginning stages of the

relationship, partners are careful to upset one another and cause relational turbulence. Therefore,

to confirm this presumption, one interview question, within this study, provoked participants to

compare their romantic relationships in the dating stages to the engagement stage. The

comparison was designed to see whether couples experienced more tension within the

engagement stage verses dating stage. Results found that those who experienced conflict and

tension mentioned there has been a noticeable increase in conflict and tension starting at the time

they entered into the wedding planning process within the engagement stage. This indicates that

couples were less likely to experience relational turbulence in the early and late dating stages, but

partners were more comfortable experiencing conflict and promoting their individual ides of


issues or situations. This finding also suggests that couples not only experience more conflict

within the engagement stage, but partners are also less tolerant of negative communication and

actions of their partners. Overall, this finding reveals a correlation between wedding planning

and relational turbulence indicating Hypothesis 1 is supported such that, the wedding planning

process provokes an increase in relational conflict than all other relationship dating stages.

Fortunately, this study confirmed many tactics used to manage stress within the wedding

process which provides detailed answers to the second research question. The most common

tactic used by the participants involved taking time off from planning and spend quality time

with their groom. Quality time consists of going out on the town, engaging in activities both

partners enjoy, establishing date nights, solidifying alone time for the couple. Establishing a

time to discuss wedding plans and a time to avoid talking about wedding plans is essential to the

couples happiness and relationship satisfaction. The second most common tactic is to enlist

helpers in the planning process. For example, participants that had wedding planners exclaimed

the individual was a great help and took the majority of tasks from the bride, easing the stress of

the brides trying to get everything done. However, wedding planners are very expensive to hire,

thus, other individuals that were helpful to participants were family members, grooms’ family

members, bridal parties and friends. And finally, the study found that participants strive to

remind themselves of what the day is truly about—celebrating love between two people, and the

day is all about the couple.

While many participants found certain tactics to help manage stress, this study examined

how those tactics influenced the way brides and grooms communicate. Results showed that

utilizing the tactics will decrease stress and ultimately improve that communication between

engaged couples. For example, when participants remind themselves of what the day is truly


about, or after having a date night, participants admitted to being less stressed, snippy, offended,

and even felt more loving toward their grooms. Results confirmed that participants who utilize

the tactics will have better, more loving conversations with their grooms. These findings support

Hypothesis 2 in the fact that managing stress from wedding planning does decrease relational

turbulence by improving communication between the bride and groom.

Limitations and Future Research

This study was designed to lay a foundation of exploring an area of communication that

has not been recently explored. Findings suggest that there is evidence of relational turbulence

that is a result of the wedding planning process induced stress. However, many tactics are used to

manage and improve the communication between brides and grooms.

Due to the limited amount of previous research, this study has many limitations that need

to be considered and addressed for future research. To begin, due to the asynchronous nature of

the blog forum, there was no way to determine demographics such as age, financial status,

ethnicity, or culture that could have an impact on the wedding planning process. Also, there

were many factors that were not taken into consideration that could heavily influence the brides’

stress levels. For example, while I am planning my wedding by myself, other brides recruited

wedding planners, mothers and mother-in-laws, and maids-of-honor to aid in the planning

process taking the majority of the responsibility from the brides. Furthermore, the time duration

of the engagement and wedding process should be taken into account in two fashions for future

research. Firstly, determine the total time allotted to wedding planning; and secondly, measure

how much time is left until the wedding from the time of the interview or blogging session. For

brides who have already been married, their view of how stressful the time of wedding planning

could be skewed due to the relapse in time and accurate memory recall.


Aside from additional stress factors that could possibly skew results, future research

should interview the grooms of the brides that were interviewed. Within this study, there were

multiple brides that believe they never had a fight or were never unpleasant toward their grooms.

However, the brides were simply stating their personal perceptions that could possibly be laden

with biases for fear of looking like a “bridezilla.” Therefore, interviewing the grooms could

solidify the brides’ claims or open a new discussion, give deeper insight to the couples’

relationships, and retain more accurate results of affected communication. Regardless of who is

interviewed, future researchers should give in-depth interviews in a face-to-face format. This

will provide richer, detailed data; and interviewees can expound upon any information that needs

clarified or explained.

Conclusion

Although there are many limitations within this study, it is good stepping stone to expand

communication research within wedding planning. This study was designed to look at

communication between grooms and brides in one of their first stressful times as a couple. The

purpose of this study was to gain better understanding of the relational changes that occur within

the engagement process and how the changes can be monitored and managed, specifically

looking at the fluctuations in communication between the couple. For those brides who

experience stress within the wedding planning process, there is a direct link between stress and

changes in the manner of communication.

Even though brides may have “bridezilla” moments toward their grooms are speak to

them in a cold, unloving way; there is a plethora of tactics that are used to keep the

communication between engaged couples steady and consistent.


References

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