Inside  Ofek’s Music Section

Lorax graduating from college

UCDS vs. UCRamon, who’s better?

Ice Cream Or

Blacklist yarden zinger for being too cute guy blaunstein tapping dem asses tomer stealing peoples jokes oren being a good gizbor rohass still thinks hes in nam Dmoss moved into a jacuzzi lior peled became starting QB at BMS amir mazor farted his article out Ben kanygin getting ready for 2015-2016 season ilan scheinkman manga ? nathan scheinkman mishmish ? edo builer Had to wake up at 6:30 amit aloni stuck in an adventure lavie levi got into the x games ran bar niv went into pro scootering niv cohen became a national geographic photographer andre becker became starting RB for BMS hadar goldstein come see him in a play !!! roee burstein burst into teens roy kol figured out what an article is dan Kaliblotzky Chem H is love, Chem H is life yoav halperin bevame pointguard for the warriors matan iarovic does articles in his dream oded tzori bugs me about giving the birthday box Tom Ekstein that lier Amir Vololo busy making lotion Matan irovitz busy understanding his last name roee Landesman He couldn’t even answer my texts (cry)

 

   

 

 

 

Note from Editor

Upcoming Events:

Kallah January 23rd to 25th

A.I.T. January 30th

Superball at Idan’s January 31st Stanford Article

College By Amit Klein College? What’s college? I don’t know. I’m going to write about something else then. You know what? Right I’m going to write about COLLEGE. College is one of the things that will either save your life or ruin your life. The only thing is that either way you lose a LOT of money. I mean private colleges are now costing about $30,000 per year. HOLY SHIT that’s crazy. You're saying that to get a good job I have to at least pay 4 TIMES that?! And that’s only for a middle class minimal job. To get a really good job or to go to politics, law, or health you have to pay 8 TIMES that! Wow, I don’t get people. Why do people go to colleges then? Well if you don’t go to college there is a ⅔ chance you will not get a job. So why does our society accept such things? Well over time the expectations from college grew so that college became expected to be so highly priced. Even though this method is hurting our economy and people know nobody ever questions that publicly. In the latest State of the Union president Obama gave he told America that a few community colleges across the country are now free. What he might just be the beginning of the decline of cost of colleges? Yes, watching the State of the Union was homework, BUT I did learn a lot from it. Well to all of those young Obama’s out there I say. Go and to the unbelievable and people will follow. That might sound extreme but really its not. All you have to really do is to question a day’s ordeals and to do something to make it better and people will follow. And to colleges I say. COST LESS MONEY!!!.  

Articles

By Ron Levy

Leland Stanford Junior University, or more commonly Stanford University, is a private research university in Stanford, California, and one of the world's most prestigious institutions, with the highest undergraduate selectivity and the top position in numerous surveys and measures in the United States.Stanford was founded in 1885 by Leland Stanford, former governor of and U.S. senator from California and leading railroad tycoon, and his wife, Jane Lathrop Stanford, in memory of their only child, Leland Stanford, Jr., who had died of typhoid fever at age 15 the previous year. Stanford was opened on October 1, 1891 as a coeducational and non-denominational institution. Tuition was free until 1920. The university struggled financially after Leland Stanford's 1893 death and after much of the campus was damaged by the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. Following World War II, Provost Frederick Terman supported faculty and graduates' entrepreneurialism to build self-sufficient local industry in what would later be known as Silicon Valley. By 1970, Stanford was home to a linear accelerator, and was one of the original four ARPANET nodes. Stanford is located in northern Silicon Valley near Palo Alto, California. The University's academic departments are organized into seven schools, with several other holdings, such as laboratories and nature reserves, located outside the main campus. Its 8,180-acre campus is one of the largest in the United States.The University is also one of the top fundraising institutions in the country, becoming the first school to raise more than a billion dollars in a year. Stanford's undergraduate program is the most selective in the country with an acceptance rate of 5.07% for the 2018 Class. Students compete in 36 varsity sports, and the University is one of two private institutions in the Division I FBS Pacific-12 Conference. It has gained 105 NCAA team championships, the second-most for a university, 465 individual championships, the most in Division I,[28] and has won the NACDA Directors' Cup, recognizing the university with the best overall athletic team achievement, every year since 1994-1995. Stanford faculty and alumni have founded many companies including Google, Hewlett-Packard, Nike, Sun Microsystems, and Yahoo!, and companies founded by Stanford alumni generate more than $2.7 trillion in annual revenue, equivalent to the 10th-largest economy in the world.Fifty-nine Nobel laureates have been affiliated with the University, and it is the alma mater of 30 living billionaires and 17 astronauts. Stanford has produced a total of 18 Turing Award laureates, the highest in the world for any one institution. It is also one of the leading producers of members of the United States Congress.

Raz Goldstein Article If you are going to college, you must remember to bring potatoes with you or else you will die. You will die if you don't bring potatoes because potatoes are brown and brown is the color of my eyes, and eyes are on your face, but noses are also on your face, and there are buggers in noses, and buggers are green, and guacamole is also green, and white girls love guac with there chipotle, and chipotle is a food chain, and mcdonalds is also a food chain, and there are burgers at mcdonalds, and burgers have buns which is bread, and people make sandwiches for their lunch at school with bread, and most schools have bands, and someone plays the triangle in the band, and the illuminati symbol is a triangle. ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!

UCDS vs. UCRamon

An Apparel Analysis by Ron Barzilay

I’m not too huge on colleges or much relating to them, so I thought I’d

talk about our two very own chapter colleges, UCDS and UCRamon. Some alumni at Turkey Bowl thought that UCRamon was a weird replacement for UCDS and didn’t really make much sense, so I wanted to discuss the topic.

For logic and name, the obvious winner is UCDS. It makes sense and looks like the name of a college. This is reasonable seeing that UCRamon was somewhat of a parody of UCDS after the name change. I may be wrong seeing how young I am, but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be University of California Doctor Seuss, like all the nearby UCs. UCRamon doesn’t really make much sense and doesn’t fit the UC idea. On the back they both have the same message “Training Prominent Leaders of Tomorrow Since 1991.” Pretty inspirational stuff.

Aesthetically, it’s a completely different argument. UCDS has the unlucky disadvantage of time and how modern apparel is made. UCDS is simple and nice. It has bold letters with the hat from Cat in the Hat on the D and it looks pretty alright. On the other hand, UCRamon has beautiful cursive letters and a very nice-looking spaceship. Also the blue of the UCRamon looks a lot nicer than the UCDS’s color. So from looks, UCRamon has the advantage.

So which is better? I think it really depends if you’re nostalgic for Seuss, or a Ramonian looking into the future.

David Warshavski Article College is going to be one of the most important and meaningful experiences of your

life other than AZA. You determine what you will do for the rest of your life, and this will be

one of the hardest decisions you will face. It’s not like elementary, middle, or high school where any problem you have, help will be given. This you will face all alone and you need to be prepared and find yourself. AZA can help you with this, you learn many important, good, and critical thinking skills in AZA to help you find what you really want. Being brought closer to your brother alephs is an experience that can never be taken from you and will effect you for the rest of your life. For example our advisors, they were in BBYO and still AZA is a big part of their life. It’s something you never forget. Throughout college, your adult life, and even your later years in life. So when you think of going from AZA to college and making big important decisions that will effect you in the long run, you already had the boost you needed to be successful and on a strong path. Even in college, say you’re in a fraternity; it’s just a transition from being with close people you consider your brothers to just older people who you consider your brothers. No matter what in life you will receive help when you really need it but sometimes it’s important to trust yourself and know you have done the right thing. Itay and Yoav's Taco Recipe, By Itay and Yoav Ingredients: -Salt, several of it -one big piece of flank steak (whole foods has one) -Itay's magical taco seasoning in a bottle (from Costco) Directions: 1. Lay steak flat on a flat surface and sprinkle enough taco seasoning to make you not a pussy, but not enough to make you a liberal. 2. Heat a pan on high and drizzle that with olive oil while grinding and rubbing several salts into the meat. 3. Once pan is hot enough, drop meat onto the pan of hot oil, making sure the hot oil spills onto you. 4. Yell in pain and frustration. 5. After bottom of steak has crisped slightly (approximately 45 seconds), put spatula underneath steak, lift steak into air, inspect carefully, and flip regardless of the results of your inspection. 6. Once this side has crisped, lower heat to medium, cover, and allow to cool for precisely 3 minutes and 12 seconds. 7. Flip steak and allow to cook for 3 more minutes. Cover again. 8. Turn off heat, take off lid, and thank lord Vishnu for this wonderful meat. Look the meat in the eye and ask yourself if you're really worth of it (you're not). With this in mind, slice the meat and consume it voraciously. You can thank us later Some suggested accompanying side dishes for this meat are slightly undercooked french fries, blood of a virgin (the smoothie), some fraternity, and an eggplant. Going to college is one of the most important parts of a person’s life. It is a time where people grow up and really discover themselves and what they want to do with their future lives. It is a time where you gain skills socially and academically. The amount of people you will meet is beyond belief, same

with the amount of friendships and bonds you will make with people who may stick with you for the rest of your life. During college, you really learn how to be independent and do things on your own, and you really realize how capable you are of doing certain things. You may learn that you can take on a million different tasks, or do things you never thought you could do when you were in highschool, like public speaking for example. There are so many benefits you get out of going to college that you could not get if you were to skip it. The degree you’ll receive, yeah, of course thats going to take you to your future job, but the life skills you learn and the goals you accomplish are incredible. Basically what I am trying to say is, having the college experience is something that you will never forget,so thats why if you wanna get in, do your homework kids. -David Gelovani

Wining application what makes you happy?

• Sweat dripping from the side of my cheek, muscles hurt as I take a step up the hill, camera in one hand while the other hand grabs to a rock so I won’t fall. Finally I make it to the highest point that the mountain had to offer. Below me devil’s bridge as I take my brother’s picture and he takes mine. The extra climb has finally became worth it as get to relax and watch the beautiful red view of Arizona. A month later, I still recall the happy memory of climbing up that mountain. Not only the view, but the climb as well, what makes me happy? The challenge makes me happy.

If an object were to talk how would it describe you?

• The object that would probably agree to describe me is my computer. From the time I open it until it closes it sees me in my best and darkest moments. From listening to good music to waiting for an ad to stop the computer knows me more than I do. The first thing the computer would say is that I care about what I publicly say. The computer is the only object that knows how many messages I delete a second before pressing send, or sentences I could use for a report, but decided against it.

If a meteor strikes earth and you are locked in a house with food for 4 days with 2 other people with you, what do you do?

• Put on my oxygen mask, break the door, and start looking for survivors and food. More survivors will give us new ideas and men that will help us find more food, and more survivors, which will eventually be able to restart the economic system we live in today

Roey Meitav

Mazkir overnight was on FrIday Night, and it was a pretty good experience. Meeting counterparts from the region was fun and enjoyable, but you know what’s even better than that? The love of my life-brownie ice cream. Every scoop of deliciousness, thick chocolate, succulent chocolate chips, creamy vanilla, every taste is pure heaven on earth. Mazkir overnight can’t compare.

moral of the story-dessert is better than people.

Just  a  Dude  with  Amnesia  An  Original  Short  Story  by  Ronen  Burd  

  To  any  random  stranger  in  the  park  that  morning,  Tony  Ross  was  just  an  ordinary  guy  sitting  on  a  bench  in  the  middle  of  that  park.  He  didn't  do  much  except  just  stare  down  at  the  grass  beneath  the  bench  and  occasionally  glance  at  the  strangers  walking  around  or  the  families  picnicking.    

  The  problem  was,  that  he  had  almost  no  recollection  of  what  he  was  doing  on  that  bench.  The  last  thing  he  really  remembered  was  driving  in  a  car  the  evening  before  that  day,  with  his  wife  Teri.  He  searched  around  the  park,  looking  for  his  wife.  He  tried  reaching  into  his  pocket  for  his  phone,  but  didn't  find  it  there.  He  couldn't  find  his  wallet  or  keys  either.  His  jeans  pockets  were  completely  empty.  He  suddenly  panicked  and  quickly  searched  around  the  park  for  his  wife,  but  saw  absolutely  nobody  resembling  her.  

  He  quickly  got  up  and  searched  the  field,  through  the  playground,  through  the  trees.  No  sign  of  her.  He  went  back  to  the  field,  and  quickly  found  a  young  couple  holding  hands.  He  asked  one  of  them  for  a  phone.  The  guy  gave  him  his  phone,  and  Tony  hastily  dialed  Teri's  number  into  it  and  called  the  number.  He  got  her  voicemail.  

  Confused  and  even  further  panicked,  Tony  gave  the  guy  back  his  phone  and  started  hyperventilating.    

  “Do  you  need  help?”  the  girl  in  the  couple  asked  him.  

  Tony  ignored  her  and  started  sprinting  past  them,  to  the  edge  of  the  park.  He  shut  his  eyes,  trying  to  remember  any  possible  detail.  All  his  memory  would  give  him,  however,  was  him  driving  to  get  dinner  with  his  wife,  along  with  a  vague  sound  of  sirens.  Nothing  more.  

  A  tough-­‐looking,  badly  dressed  came  up  behind  Tony  and  tapped  him  on  the  shoulder.  Tony  turned  around  to  face  the  teenager,  and  wrinkled  his  nose  at  the  teenager's  liquor-­‐heavy  breath.  

  “Are  you  okay?”  the  teenager  asked  him.  

  Tony  was  about  to  brush  the  teenager  off  and  tell  him  he  was  fine,  until  he  noticed  the  wallet  sticking  out  of  the  teenager's  torn  pocket.  Tony  snatched  it.  

  “Hey,  this  is  mine.  Why  do  you  have  it?”  Tony  asked  him.    

  The  teenager  looked  at  the  wallet,  and  became  confused.  “Honestly,  man,  I  don't  know.  I  got  so  drunk  last  night,  I  blacked  out.”  The  teenager  took  out  his  phone  and  gave  it  to  Tony.  “Is  this  yours?”  the  teenager  asked.  

  Tony  nodded  and  took  the  phone  as  well.  “You  don't  know  why  you  have  my  stuff?”  

  “No,  I  don't  remember  much  about  last  night.  All  I  remember  was  that  I  got  into  a  car  crash,  and  eventually  ran  somewhere  with  someone's  wallet  and  phone,  and  ended  up  here.”    

  “I  can't  remember  anything  either,”  Tony  said.  “I  need  to  find  my  wife,  and  I  have  no  idea  what  it  is.”  

  The  teenager  suddenly  pointed  to  Tony's  forehead.  “What  is  it?”  Tony  asked,  touching  his  forehead  with  his  finger.  Then  he  felt  his  scar.  “Oh,  my  god.  I  don't  know  how  I  got  this  scar.”  

  “It  looks  like  your  head  was  banged  on  a  steering  wheel,”  the  teenager  told  him.  “That's  why  you  don't  remember  anything;  you  have  short-­‐term  amnesia  from  the  head  trauma.  I  think  we  might  have  been  in  the  same  car  crash.”  

  “Oh,  shit!”  Tony  exclaimed,  remembering  Teri  was  in  the  car  with  him.  “I  need  to  find  my  wife,  Teri.  She  was  in  the  car  with  me.  She  might  be  hurt.”  Tony  started  hyper-­‐ventilating.  

  The  teenager  grabbed  Tony's  shoulders.  “Hey,  calm  down.  You  freaking  out  won't  help  your  wife.  Besides,  right  now,  I  think  I'm  starting  to  remember  something  about  the  crash.”  

  “What  is  it?”  Tony  asked.  

  “I  remember  being  in  the  car...  I  think  my  friend  was  driving,  we  were  both  drunk.  Oh  my  god,  I  remember  crashing  into  someone's  Hyundai  Sonata.”  

  “That's  my  car!”  Tony  exclaimed.  

  “Wait,  I  remember  where  it  happened,”  the  teenager  told  him.  “I  think  it  was  a  block  or  two  from  here.”  

  Suddenly  Tony  remembered  as  well.  He  heard  his  wife  scream  when  they  saw  the  Ferrari  racing  at  them,  with  the  teenagers  behind  the  wheel.  He  remembered  feeling  the  extremely  sudden,  hard  impact  from  the  sports  car,  and  banging  his  head  on  the  steering  wheel.  He  remembered  his  wife,  who,  for  some  reason  wasn't  wearing  her  seatbelt,  being  launched  out  of  the  passenger's  seat,  and  hitting  her  head  on  the  windshield.  He  remembered  screaming  Teri's  name,  and  pulling  her  back,  only  to  see  her  skull  cracked  open  and  her  lifeless  face.  He  remembered  the  two  teenagers  in  the  car  across  him  drunkenly  run  towards  him  and  threaten  to  beat  him  if  he  called  the  cops.  He  remembered  one  of  them  then  taking  his  wallet  and  phone  and  started  running  in  the  direction  of  the  park.  He  remembered  being  so  sad  and  out  of  place  that  he  just  started  walking  in  the  same  direction,  feeling  extremely  disoriented  and  traumatized.    

  Tony  slowly  turned  to  the  teenager,  and  saw  the  look  on  the  teenager's  face.  Tony  could  tell  that  the  teenager  remembered  everything  Tony  remembered.  “It  was  you,”  Tony  said.    

  His  hands  were  clenched  in  a  fist.  He  had  the  pain  and  anger  of  his  wife's  death  etched  into  his  eyes.  The  teenager  looked  like  he  was  about  to  be  stomped  on  by  an  ogre.  Tony  suddenly  grabbed  the  scruff  of  the  teenager's  shirt.  “IT  WAS  YOU!”  Tony  yelled  at  him.  “YOU  KILLED  MY  WIFE!!”  

To  be  continued...  

Stand by Me / What a Wonderful World

Ofek’s music section

When the night has come, And the land is dark, And the moon, is the only, light we'll see, No I won't be afraid, Oh, I won't be afraid, Just as long as you stand, stand by me. So darling, darling, Stand by me, oh stand by me. Oh stand, stand by me. Stand by me. If the sky that we look upon, Should tumble and fall, All the mountains, should crumble, to the sea, I won't cry, I won't cry, No, I won't shed a tear, Just as long as you stand, stand by me. And darling, darling, Stand by me, oh stand by me. Oh stand now, stand by me. Stand by me. So darling, darling, Stand by me, oh stand by me. Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me. Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me. Oh stand by me, oh won't you stand now, stand, Stand by me.

These two amazing songs don’t really need an analysis, but are so awesome that I really wanted to include them here. Both these songs a very well-known, chances are you recognize at least one of them. Remember how they are played, the emphasis is on their words, not on the music. These songs got popular because of their words, not because of their music. Think about that, refute my claim if you want, but I hope that these songs could make it more believable that once upon a time songs were listened to because of their words and not because of their beat.

I see trees of green, Red roses too. I see them bloom, For me and you. And I think to myself, What a wonderful world. I see skies of blue, And clouds of white. The bright blessed day, The dark sacred night. And I think to myself, What a wonderful world. The colors of the rainbow, So pretty in the sky. Are also on the faces, Of people going by, I see friends shaking hands. Saying, "How do you do?" They're really saying, "I love you". I hear babies cry, I watch them grow, They'll learn much more, Than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, What a wonderful world. Yes, I think to myself, What a wonderful world. Oh yeah.

White List Am i t K l e i n

R o n L e v i

Ronzy

Yoav Kaliblatzki

Ofek Gila

Ori Klein

David Gelovani

David Warshavski

Ronen Burd

Roey Meirtav

Raz Goldstein

Itay Barilka