INTRODUCTION

Erikson’s stage of psychosocial development as articulated by Erik Erikson explain eight stages through which a healthily developing human should pass from infancy to late adulthood. In each stage the person confronts, and hopefully masters, new challenges. For our research, we choose to observe about the 6th stage of Erikson that is about love; Intimacy versus Isolation. This stage happens to young adults, who are in 20 to 40 years old. Love is one of the most prevalent emotions in young adulthood. Love takes on particular significance for the young adult, who begins to experience many meaningful emotional relationships (and emotions of love are likely to lead to marriage in young adulthood). Erik Erikson identified the core task of the early adult years as intimacy. Those who cannot effectively resolve the tasks of intimacy are left to isolation and lack the ability to form reciprocal exchanges based on understanding, empathy and support. A major developmental task of the young adult is to develop emotionally satisfying relationship - to experience love. But what is love? This is a critical question asked by many young adult. A typical young-adult scenario that show intimacy could be the following : two young people meet and they begin seeing each other. As their interest and excitement grows, each becomes increasing amounts of time with each other, and their sexual desires cannot be entirely fulfilled, no matter how much they try. Yet although they are sharing what seem to be immense parts of themselves with each other, they realize that to keep the relationship going entails a certain amount of sacrifice and personal risk. The scenario that show about isolation between two persons is like after a long times they have a commitment, they found the true colour between themselves and after that they decide to separate and go through with their own life.

PURPOSE

From this Erikson theory, we want to come out with an observation that showed how people experienced love either intimacy or isolation.

OBJECTIVES

I. To understand more detail about the 6th stage of Erikson’s theory, Intimacy vs Isolation.

II. To observe people’s experience on love.III. To determine cause and effect in this stage.

LITERATURE REVIEW

1. Intimacy and Isolation: A validation study of Erikson’s TheoryBy Joshua M. Gold and Joan D. Rogers from Kent State University (1991)The research is about the validity between the resolution of the Erikson stage of intimacy / isolation with a measure of emphaty ; more understanding of the personality development of human. Positive effect of relationship is toward intimacy and it is more emphatic while the negative effect of relationship is toward isolation and less emphatic.

2. Human Behaviour In the Social Environment: A multidimensional PerspectiveBy Jose B. Ashford, Craig Winston LeCroy, Kathy L. LortieRecent research (Bartels & Zeki, 2004) examined the effect of love on brain activity. Interestingly, this research supports the old adage “Love is blind”. It appears that feeling of love suppress the activity in the brain that is responsible for controlling critical thought. Both romantic love and maternal love produced the same effect on the brain. This function may make it easier for people to “couple” and at the same time the emotions of love bond individuals thought the brain’s “reward system” of positive emotion. Still, some would argue that emotions are evaluative judgement and that we in essence choose our emotions (Solomon, 2008). Whatever the process that leads us to love, many individuals do not cope very effectively with this age-old emotion, in part, because of the many myths that surround it. Some common myths that have resulted from our idealized concept of love include the following:

Myth 1: When you fall in love, you’ll know it Myth 2: You have no control over love. Myth 3: Love is a completely positive experience. Myth 4: True love will last forever Myth 5: Love can conquer all problem

3. The Future of Identity : centennial reflections on the legacy of Erik EriksonBy Kenneth R. HooverIn 1973, Jay Orlofsky and colleagues (Orlofsky, Marcia and Lesser) developed are validated a measure of Erikson Intimacy / Isolation, the stage following Identity. Again, a status approach using a semi-structured interview and scoring manual was employed. Criteria were drawn from Erikson’s writing about the Intimacy vs Isolation crisis in ego growth and they included depth and commitment in relationships with a friend or romantic partner. Five intimacy statues were defined. Those who were classified as intimate were engaged in committed relationships that were deep and fairly long lasting. Pre-intimated persons were similar to intimate ones except that they were not in an enduring love relationship. Pseudo-intimate individuals were in a fairly committed romantic relationship but this relationship was fairly shallow. It had the appearance, but not the substance, of a truly intimate relationships. Isolate individuals withdrew from social situations and locked any close personal relationships with peers. Some of the research providing validational evidence for these statuses is found in a handbook co written by Marcia, Waterman, Matteson, Archer and Orlofsky (1993).

4. Development Through Life : A Psychosocial ApproachBy Barbara M. Newman, Philip R. NewmanThere is a sense of mutual enrichment in intimate interactions. Each person increase enhancement of his or her well-being through affectionate or intellectually stimulating interactions with the other (Erikson, 1963, 1980). After the establishing of personal identity, the possibility of establishing intimacy depends on individuals perceptions of themselves as valuable, competent and meaningful people. In the early adult, a special and fundamental sense of belonging are the most important characteristics of their being with each other. The partners experience the openness to communicate their innermost feelings, give response and sharing excitement with each other.

5. Family Therapy: Concept, Process and PractiseBy Alan CarrIsolated individuals have unique characteristics (Newman & Newman, 2003). They have overvalue social contact and suspect that all social encounters will end negatively. They also lack of social skills, such as emphaty or affective self-disclosure, necessary for forming intimate relationships. These difficulties are emerged from experiences of mistrust, shame, doubt, guilt, inferiority, elienation or role confusion associated with failure to resolve early developmental dilemmas and crisis in a positive manner. Men have been found to self-disclose less than women, to be more competitive in conversations and to show less emphaty.

The Negative Effects of Intimacy and Isolation

This negative effect happens because of many causes. We have collected some cases as references from MStar Online, Tuesday, 4 Mei 2010. This article is about the experience of life some of the trainers from Raudhatus Sakinah and these cases are in Malay languages. All of these cases have different factor that contribute to negative effects. These incidents are very important because it happen especially in our country nowadays.

CASE 1

CASE 2

CASE 3

Ketika kawan-kawan sebaya usianya tekun mentelaah pelajaran, Ira (bukan nama sebenar) leka mencari teman lelaki dan menjalin hubungan cinta. Ibu dan ayah Ira sudah lama tidak tinggal sebumbung. Sementara ibu asyik menjalinkan hubungan sulit. Ira yang dahagakan kasih sayang seorang ayah, kecundang dengan pujukan teman lelaki yang diharap akan menjadi teman hidupnya. Dalam usia 14 tahun, Ira hamil dan bakal menjadi ibu.

Is (bukan nama sebenar) tidak sempat menduduki peperiksaan Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) kerana berbadan dua. Dia mula menjadi liar ketika di Tingkatan Dua dan kerap bertukar teman lelaki. Lelaki yang menghamilkannya mungkin teman lelakinya yang keenam atau ketujuh. Dia seorang yang pendiam dan mempunyai seorang ayah yang garang. Oleh sebab itu, remaja ini mencari perhatian dan kasih sayang dari luar.

Mila (bukan nama sebenar) berasal dari kawasan luar Bandar, sebuah negeri di utara tanah air. Ayah dan ibunya sudah bercerai. Keadaan hidup keluarga yang tidak tenteram membuatkan remaja ini menyertai Black Metal. Usianya ketika itu Cuma 11 tahun. Apabila menjadi anggota kumpulan Black Metal, remaja yang memiliki rupa paras yang cantik ini mula ponteng sekolah dan berubah sehingga menjadi kasar dan liar. Berzina, ambil dadah, kaki pukul adalah perkara biasa baginya.

METHODOLOGY SECTION

A. INTERVIEW SESSION

The interview session have two categories; single and married. For the marriage, we interviewed 2 persons and for the single we only interviewed 3 persons. This interview is done randomly. Our research is limit to the UiTM student only. The list of questions is below:

LIST OF QUESTIONS (SINGLE)

1. Age2. Hometown3. Education background4. Status5. Have planning of marriage or not6. Experience of love 7. The advantages and disadvantages be a single8. Opinion about adolescent who have serious relationship with other person without has

any declaration. (not married yet)

LIST OF QUESTIONS (MARRIED)

1. Age2. Hometown3. Education background4. Status5. The different live before and after marriage6. The reason why chose the partner (husband/wife)7. The experience of relationship with other person before with the partner8. Opinion about adolescent who have serious relationship with other person without has

any declaration (not married yet)9. The feeling with their life now

INTERVIEW FOR STATUS SINGLE

1ST interview: This interview is between the team member and Syira, one of student in UiTM Shah Alam.

Team : What is your age?Syira : I am 23 years old.

Team : What is your hometown?Syira : I am from Tanjumg Karang, Selangor.

Team : What is your education background?Syira : Now, I am study in Degree level.

Team : What is your status?Syira : Single.

Team : Do you have any planning of marriage?Syira : Yes, Maybe at the end of 20.

Team : Do you have any experience of love. Can you describe it for a little bit?Syira : I do not have any experience of love but I have admired someone before.

Team : Do you have disappointed by someone before?Syira : Yes because my love to that person does not accepted.

Team : Do you ever tell that person that you love him?Syira : No because he is my friend and I don’t want our friendship end after I told him about

my feeling.

Team : Do you tired to love with someone?Syira : No. But for this time, I don’t think want to love with anybody.

Team : In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages as a single person?Syira : The advantages are we free to do anything like we can meet with our friend either

boy or girl without ask permission and care someone feeling. The disadvantages is sometime I am feel alone and jealous with my friend who already have their partner. I cannot share my sadness and my happiness with lovely one.

Team : What is your opinion about adolescent who have a serious relationship with other person without marriage?

Syira : Sometime I agree but sometime I don’t agree because I think all persons want to marriage but because of the environment factors like their parent who are not give permission to them to marriage or they have money problem and the hardness of marriage procedures, so that why they can’t marriage. I don’t blame anybody but as an adolescent, they must control their feeling and takecare themselves properly.

Team : What is your feeling with your life now?Syira : I’m feeling happy although I still a single person because I have friends and family

who are always care of me.2nd interview: This interview is between the team member and Syakilla, a student of Degree in Pure Physic in UiTM Shah Alam.

Team : What is your age?Syakilla : I am 24 years old.

Team : What is your hometown?Syakilla : I am from Kuala Lumpur.

Team : What is your education background?Syakilla : Now, I’m doing degree in Pure Physic in UiTM Shah Alam.

Team : What is your status?Syakilla : I still single.

Team : Do you have any planning of marriage?Syakilla : No

Team : Do you have any experience of love?Syakilla : Yes. I have

Team : Do you have disappointed by someone before?Syakilla : Yes. 2 times..I started have relationship in Form4. This relationship only last

2 years. The second relationship just only 1 year.

Team : Do you tired to love with someone?Syakilla : No.

Team : In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages as a single person?

Syakilla : The advantages are I can friend with other people and I feel free to do anything. In my study, I’m more focus to it and not need to busy with someone. I think no advantage to be a single because I have many friends and I don’t feel alone.

Team : What is your opinion about adolescent who have a serious relationship with other person without marriage?

Syakilla : For me, it is fine if they only have relationship but if they do something like a marriage couple, this can’t be accepted.

Team : Thank you for spending time for this interview.Syakilla : You are welcome.

3rd interview: This interview is between the team member and Mira, a diploma student in UiTM Shah Alam.

Team : What is your age?Mira : I am 25 years old.

Team : What is your hometown?Mira : I am from Selangor.

Team : What is your education background?Mira : I’m study in diploma in Science in UiTM Shah Alam.

Team : What is your status?Mira : I still single.

Team : Do you have any planning of marriage?Mira : No

Team : Do you have any experience of love?Mira : Yes. I have..I have 2 and 3 times love relationship. I started have relationship with

someone since I was in school. My friend introduced him to me and after that, we meet and study together. After 2 years, we lost contact.

Team : Do you have disappointed by someone before?Mira : Yes. We stop our relationship because we not suitable for each other and always

have fight. I also have relationship with other person but because of seldom contact with each other so it finishes like that.

Team : Do you tired to love with someone?Mira : In the early after broke up, I feel tired but in a long time goes on, I want to have

relationship again. The reasons I want to have relationship because most of my friends are couple and I feel alone.

Team : In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages as a single person?Mira : The advantage is we free to do anything and the disadvantage is we feel boring.

Always alone at home, and not go anywhere. Sometimes, my friends meet with their couple and all these things make me quite jealousy.

Team : What is your opinion about adolescent who have a serious relationship with other person without marriage?

Mira : I think it’s fine if they want to have relationship but not more socialize. For this problem, all individual must take responsibility. The parents should know who are friends of their children and adolescent must chose the better friend to have relationship.

Team : Thank you for spending time for this interview.Mira : You are welcome.

INTERVIEW FOR STATUS MARRIAGE

1ST interview: This interview is between the team member and Murni Solehah, one of education student in UiTM.

Team : What is your age?Murni : I am 24 years old.

Team : What is your hometown?Murni : I’m from Taiping, Perak.

Team : What is your education background?Murni : Now, I studied in Degree in Education Science Biology in UiTM Shah Alam.

Team : What is your status?Murni : Married

Team : How your life different between before and after marriage?Murni : After marriage, my responsibility increased and my life is more systematic and

organised.

Team : Why you chose your partner as your husband?Murni : I chose him because he understand me as a student that always busy with class and

others

Team : Have you been through any experience of relationship with other person before with your husband?

Murni : Yes. I have been one time disappointed with other person. But, when I recognised my husband now I realised that he is the best person in my life.

Team : What is your opinion about adolescent who have serious relationship with other person without marriage?

Murni : All people must responsible with this matter include parent, citizen and others. But the problem now, the people today are more advance and believe ‘mind on your business’ so they don’t care what happen to their surrounding even it something bad.

Team : Thank you for spending time for this interview.Murni : You are welcome.

2nd interview: This interview is between the team member and Ana, one of education student in UiTM.

Team : What is your age?Ana : I am 25 years old.

Team : What is your hometown?Ana : I’m from Taiping, Perak.

Team : What is your education background?Ana : Now, I studied in Degree in Food Technology in UiTM Shah Alam.

Team : What is your status?Ana : I am married.

Team : How your life different between before and after marriage?Ana : Not different at all because I’m still student but my time must divide into two

between study and household. I must manage my time properly. Before marriage, I only have more enjoyable life.

Team : Why you chose your partner as your husband?Ana : I marriage with him based on my own decision. I recognised him since I was in

Form 6 in my previous school. He is a competent, civic and can guide me as a good wife. He also gives spirit to me to study in high level.

Team : Have you been through any experience of relationship with other person before with your husband?

Ana : Yes, I have. I know that person since I was in Form2 until Form5. We have been study together but the problem is we cannot go on with this relationship because he always disturbs me while I’m in study. So, I can’t manage time properly between study and love.

Team : What is your opinion about adolescent who have serious relationship with other person without marriage?

Ana : It is not fault if they want to couple because it is normal but we must to control and take care ourselves properly. We cannot prevent them and this is depending to them to realize between good or bad things. We can only give advice to them.

Team : Thank you for spending time for this interview.Ana : You are welcome.

DISCUSSION

From the research, we have interviewed people around age of 20 to 40 by following the Erikson’s Theory, Intimate versus Isolation. Our targets are UiTM students who are in status single and married. Based on our observation, we find out that all of them have experience of love either they married or still single. For the married people, they have achieved the positive relationship based in this theory that is by getting married. Before the marriage, they have been through the isolation with the previous relationship but this isolation did not give negative effects to their life. The negative effects for instance, the frightened to have any commitment or want to live alone. This is because they taught that they will found someone better until they met the right person to get married. The experience of isolation also has taught them to be better person and be more bewaring in getting partner. For example, if the previous relationship was ended because of their different understanding and failed to settle down certain problem, thus for the next relationship they had set a certain criteria that will convince them that the person is the ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right’. On the other hand the single people, to be exact the person that did not have any relationship as our target on our targets. All of them are focus to other things like study at this moment. Besides, they also have experience of intimacy and then isolation before they become a single person. Nevertheless, the early stage of isolation gives negative effect to them where they do not willing to have any commitment but still admire to have relationship in the future. This negative effect actually is not really influence the overall of their life. Sometime intimacy and isolation also can make person have the negative relationship like the teenager’s problems in our country nowadays such as abortion, they become prostitute, pregnancy before marriage and so on.

ARGUMENTS ON THE VARIOUS LITERATURES

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SUMMARY

RECOMMENDATIONS

REFERENCES

1. MStar Online, Tuesday, 4 April 2010 – Mendakap Keinsafan Di Raudhatus Sakinah

2. Kenneth R. Hoover – The Future of Identity : centennial reflections on the legacy of Erik Erikson, page 46

3. Barbara M. Newman, Philip R. Newman - Development Through Life : A Psychosocial Approach, page 439

4. Alan Carr – Family Therapy : Concept, Process and Practise, page 40

5. Jose B. Ashford, Craig Winston LeCroy, Kathy L. LOrtie – Human Behavior in the Social Environment : A multidimensional Perspective, page 497

6. http://www.swendell.net/wiki/images/a/a5/IDM06.pdf