Tongue Fu!®Get Along Better With Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

Monday, February 11, 13

Introduction“People treat you the way you teach them to treat you.” – Jack Canfield

The purpose of Tongue Fu!® is to deflect, disarm, or defuse someone’ verbal attack. It is a spoken form of self-defense—the constructive alternative to giving a tongue-lashing or to being tongue-tied.

The goal of Tongue Fu!® is to learn how to communicate clearly, cooperatively and confidently so you prevent people from becoming difficult in the first place. You’ll learn pro-active language that sets a positive precedent so people are more likely to treat you with respect.

Monday, February 11, 13

Part One:Don’t React...Respond

“How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its youth?” Paul Sweeney,

Director of Innovation at VoiceSage

In this section, we learn how to be more patient and pro-active in challenging situations so we can handle them with poise and professionalism.

Monday, February 11, 13

Fun Fu!

“Perhaps one has to become very old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked.”

Pearl S. Buck

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to Lose

You let people push your hot buttons.“If one more person asks me if I have a job yet, I’m going to lose it.”

You can be frustrated by misfortune and focus on everything that’s wrong.“I’m never going to find work. I’ve invested hundreds of hours and I don’t have

anything to show for it. ”

You can curse your bad luck and let people annoy you.“Does he think it’s helpful to say it’s impossible to find a job in this economy?"

You can resent thoughtless questions and be irritated by insensitive remarks.“How am I supposed to respond to a stupid question like that? Doesn’t he realize if

I had found a job, I would have told him about it?”

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to UseYou can prepare responses to dreaded questions.

“Thanks for asking. I’m open to any and all suggestions. Know anyone looking for an HR Director? ”

You can make light of your misfortune instead of allowing it to depress you.“I hadn't planned to retire quite this early. The good part is, I have time to coach my

kids’ soccer team ”

You keep a wry sense of humor and choose to be pro-active.“All my life I wondered what I’d be when I grew up. I didn’t know it was going to be

unemployed. Please let me know if you have any leads.”

You keep your antenna up for quips and use them to keep smiling – no matter what.

“I agree with comedian Steven Wright’s philosophy. He said, “I walked by a business today that had two signs in the window, EMPLOYEES NEEDED and SELF- SERVICE.

So I went in and hired myself.”

Monday, February 11, 13

Fast Forward through Frustration

“Do you need to do things differently, or do you need to do a different thing?” - Oprah Winfrey

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to Lose

You can let everyone around you know how unhappy you are."Why doesn’t management hire more employees? This is ridiculous. ”

You can be impatient and exasperated."Why don’t they hurry up? I’ve been waiting ten minutes. ”

You can blame them for their “wrong” behavior.“You should have realized these were popular shows and scheduled more help.”

You can continue to see things from only your point of view. “This is lousy service. I’m never coming back here again. I didn’t pay fifteen bucks to

stand in line ”

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to Use

You can respond and be sympathetic.“They’re working as fast as they can. They’re just understaffed.”

You can be understanding and empathetic.“How would I feel if I was handling a crowd of this size?’’

You can relax and choose to be compassionate.You say with a friendly smile, “Could I please have two plain popcorns and a fruit

punch?”

You can put yourself in their place, fast-forward through your frustration, and forgive them.

“I can keep my peace of mind and rise above this petty incident. This isn’t that big a deal.”

Monday, February 11, 13

Don’t Lecture; Listen

“One person who takes the trouble to listen to us can change our whole outlook on the world.”

– Elton Mayo of the Mayo Clinic

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to Lose

You continue to worry about how your performance evaluation is going to go.“I wonder what my boss is going to say about that project report. What if I don’t get

that bonus I’ve been counting on?”

You grow increasingly restless and start fidgeting.“I never should have agreed to this lunch in the first place.”

Your eyes wander and you notice several fellow employees walk in.“I wonder how their appraisals went. Uh-oh, they don’t look too happy.”

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to Use

You tell yourself that your friend is important to you and that he deserves your full focus.

"I can think about my performance appraisal when I get back to the office. For the next half-hour, I’m going to give Max my undivided attention.”

You activate your interest with the Three L’s.“I'm going to sit up, lean across the table, and lift my eyebrows so I’ll feel more

like listening.”

You keep your eyes on Max’s face so your mind doesn’t wander.“I'm glad to hear Max got this new position. He deserves it”.

Monday, February 11, 13

End Complaints Instantly“It takes less time to do something right than to explain why it was done

wrong.” – poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to Lose

You can tell them what went wrong and why.“We were supposed to have fresh salmon tonight, but the fish market ran out, so

we substituted fresh frozen.”

You can belabor an explanation and extend the argument.“The chef told us it was supposed to be just as good. He tasted it and said he

couldn’t tell the difference ”

You can refuse to take responsibility for something that’s not your fault.“It wasn't my decision. They should have taken it off the menu.”

Monday, February 11, 13

Words to Use

You can ask yourself if what he is saying is basically true, and if so, agree with it.“You’re right, sir, the menu does say the salmon is fresh ...”

You can apologize and take action to end the argument before it begins.. . . and I'm sorry you didn’t get what you requested. I'd be glad to replace it with

another entree of your choice."

You can thank them for bringing this to your attention and take the AAAA Train.“I appreciate you telling me this. We want to make sure you enjoy your meal

and choose to come back.”

Monday, February 11, 13

Sam Horn is an award winning author, marketing strategist and keynote speaker with a 20-year track record of results with an international clientele including Intel, YPO, Fortune 500 Forum, KPMG, Cisco and NASA.

Author of 6 books from major publishers, including; The Eyebrow Test, POP!, and Tongue Fu! which have been translated into 17 languages and featured in New York Times, Investors Business Daily, Boston Globe, Publishers Weekly, Washington Post and Readers Digest.

Top-rated speaker (along with Jim Collins, Tom Peters, Tim Ferris) at the INC Magazine 500/5000 conference, two-time top-ranked speaker at The International Platform Association, and keynoter for ASAE, American Bankers Association and AMEX-SCORE Small Business Summit.

About Sam Horn

Visit Sam’s Websitehttp://www.samhornpop.com

orhttp://intrigueagency.com

Sam Horn on Twitter@SamHornIntrigue

Monday, February 11, 13

“Practical, powerful, simple yet scientific strategies to correct common mistakes that

create tension, turmoil, and unhappiness. Sam Horn has written an amazingly clear and concise self-help book to turn almost any personal problem into an opportunity

for growth and success!” —Harold Bloomfield, M.D., author of Making Peace

with Yourself and The Power of 5.

Tongue Fu!®Get Along Better With Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

Click here for free Excerpt of Tongue Fu!

Monday, February 11, 13