Society

Traditional Tibetan society is a hierarchical society. Until the

Chinese occupation, the society in Tibet continued to be

organized on a hierarchical order, based on the two principal

spheres, the ecclesiastical and the secular. The secular sphere of

Tibetan social life used to be detennined on the basis of

government posts and property, i.e., land.

Tibetan social structure may be said to have contained just three

broad social classes: the nobility, i.e. the landed aristocracy,

which also held high government offices, the common people and

the clergy. Of course, there were gradations and sub-divisions

within each of these three classes.

Social mobility in traditional Tibetan society was always

possible. A Tibetan can scale the social ladder by enhancing his

personal virtues, such as moral character, intellectual eminence

and religious devotion. Status was also derived from religio­

political standing, wealth and family background. Charisma was

also valued, because through it the individual automatical1y

enhanced his position in the society. Those who were accepted as

the reincarnations of the Buddha, Boddhisattvas or other high

lamas or saints were placed very high on the social ladder.

19

According to the Tibetan observers traditional Tibetan society

comprised of 95 per cent commoners and five per cent upper

class, including hereditary nobles. The upper class was

constituted of the members of the hereditary noble families. It has

been estimated that there were about 150 noble families in Tibet

The noble families comprised both hereditary and non-hereditary

types. There was always a provision for new additions over time,

but once this status was attained it generally became hereditary.

Tradition also sanctioned the up-grading of the Dalai Lama's and '

the Panchen Lama's families. Social status could be enhanced by

receiving grants of land as state recognition to the national heroes

and also to the meritorious persons. All these provided

opportunities for climbing up on the hierarchical scale. In

relatively recent years recruitment of people for the high

government jobs was done on the basis of merit. In this way also

through merit a person enjoyed both material benefit and an

exalted position in the hierarchy.

The civil servants thus recruited, however, had to get themselves

initially enrolled as members of the three leading monasteries

(Ganden, Drepung and Sera) of the Gelug sect, which are situated

in the neighbourhood of Lhasa. This clearly shows that the

ecclesiastical arm of the state provided the main avenue for the

commoner to ascent the dizzy heights of nobility.

20

There was no distinct middle class as the feudatories themselves

constituted the bureaucracy, and other professions were taken care

of by the monastic order. Even large-scale trade was in the hands

of the nobility, the state, the monasteries and the foreign traders.

Thus, except for a few resourceful merchants coming from the

well-to-do plebeian families, there was practically no middle

class.

Social Institutions

The study of social change can not ignore the crucial importance

of family as a part of social structure and marriage, one of the

most important social institution. Family, an universal element of

social structure, is also the foundation of a society. The traditional

Tibetan cosmology revolves around three fundamental

obligations, to gods, to priests and to ancestors. His life is devoted

to them and in his life time he is obliged to please them through

devotion, worship and rituals and through founding family and

raising children. This is something necessary to get salvation from

the cycle of birth and dea~ something very close to the

traditional Hindu religious philosophy of "dharma".

Whatever scanty literature on the subject is available shows that

the three main forms, viz. monogamy, polygamy and polya1_1dry

THESIS 362.870954 J334 Ti

21 1111111111111111111111111 TH6922

were practiced in Tibet in a mixed form. Generally in regard to all

the three forms, pecuruary security was an important

consideration behind marital ties.

The institution of polyandry helped the Tibetans to limit birth-rate

and thus to keep the population stationary. It has had a salutary

effect in keeping living conditions on a higher level than in India

or China. Despite the fact that land is poor and unproductive there

is enough food for all; and even though life on the high plateau is

hard and austere there is serenity and contentment pervading the

life of the individual and the community.

The type of polyandry practiced in Tibet was mostly fraternal

polyandry, brothers sharing the same wife with the marriage

having been formally solemnized with the eldest brother. Another

interpretation is the economic advantage of polyandry to the

Tibetans. It can be the desire to transmit an estate undivided,

instead of dividing it among several male heirs.

""· Discussing the system of polyandry as prevalent in Tibet Rahul

Sankrityayan, the noted Indian Tibetologist, has pointed out that .)'

due to sharing of the same wife by all the brothers, population in

Tibet did not increase and there was never any population

explosion. Further he also mentions that in case there were no

sons and only daughters in the family, the son-in-law became the

heir-apparent, and his children kept the family name alive. From

22

his personal observation he cited the case of a particular Tibetan

village where there were sixteen families, and due to the

prevailing custom of polyandry the population of the village

remained stationary for years together. Even the property of the

families, which was never divided for generations, got

accumulated with the passage oftime.6

The Tibetan system of reckoning of descent could now be taken

up. The Tibetan families, as stated before, were patrilineal and

patri-local. The mode of knowing and identifying children among

Tibetans might sound peculiar, but in the polyandrous families it

was almost the same as in the similar societies on the Indian side

of the border. All the children from any polyandrous marriage in

the formal sense belonged to the eldest brother. As Dawa Norbu

puts it, "As for the paternity of the children a few resourceful

wives could remember who the father was as long as it was one of

the brothers. Usually the child called he eldest man 'Father' and

the rest 'Uncles' ."7

There might have been some minor variations of this at the infor­

mal level, such as children being apportioned in the order of their

birth according to seniority in age of the husbands' and if the

offspring outstripped the number of husbands, the same procedure

was applied in rounds. It was also the most important spouse who

6 Sanskrityayana. Rahul, :\feri Jeevan Yatra, Kitab ~al, Allahabad. 1953, p.14. 7 Norbu, Daw~ Red Star over Tibet, Collins St. James Place, London, 1974, p.98.

23

might in some cases be given the honour of being called the father

of all the children of a polyandrous marriage. This applied in

those cases where the husbands were not real brothers. Thus title

status might also determine the importance of a particular

individual in a co-fathership system.

Marriage rituals in the Tibetan society, as almost everywhere else,

had the core importance when a marriage was solemnized. It did

not matter whether it was a polyandrous marriage or a polyga­

mous marriage; the fact was that the ritualistic side of the nuptial

was always given due importance. Tibetan marriages were

arranged mostly by the parents of the bride and the bridegroom

and the initiative usually came from the groom's parents or elders.

However, the role of the mediator or the go-between was equally

important. The mediator was a man known to both the parties and

enjoyed their confidence. From the start of the negotiation to the

actual celebration of the marriage the mediator played an effective

bride-role. If both parties agreed and the horoscopes matched, the

fmal decision rested with the parents of the groom.

At this stage a contract was drawn for settling (in writing) the

terms on which the alliance was to be made. The parents on either

side might consult the would-be groom or bride, but this was

more by way of communicating the decision, rather than taking

their consent. The first pre-marital ceremony associated with the

solemnization of marriage in Tibet was known as 'chang'

2~

begging. The family which was to receive a bride (this was also

true of l'vlar-Pa or male-bride), as a rule, paid the opposite party a

stipulated sum of what was known as 'rnilkmoney' -an

approximation of the amount expended for the bride's upbringing.

The same family also paid another sum to meet the expense of the

party or fete on the occasion of engagement. When both parties

met along with the go-betweens for fmally agreeing to the

marriage contract, the 'chang' ceremony took place, the term

denoting the drinking of the particular alcoholic beverage, the

national drink, as a customary part of the ceremony. At this

ceremony there was some exchange of gift also.

On the other hand, the family of the bride used to grant her dowry

whether in the form of cash, goods, land or slaves-a list of which

was also appended to the contract. The contract also contained the

schedule of the various ceremonials connected with marriage.

Seals were affixed by both families and the go-between signed at

the bottom of the contract. Everything was wound up with song.,

symbolizing the hope and desire for perfection of the nuptial

ceremony. The contract was held sacrosanct and seldom

breached.

As contrary to the common accounts, Dawa Norbu expresses a

different point of view on Tibetan marriages. "Contrary to

western practice, marriage had no legal or religious aspects." But

25

he also admits that "Like a western engagement, the proposed

marriage could be called off if either party wished. "8

Tibetan weddings, it seems, were not open festive occasiOns.

"The negotiations were kept secret and anyone revealing these

would have been considered an enemy of both families. "9

A ring of secrecy surround the wedding ceremony as well.

According to the Chinese authors, Shen and Lieu, "Not everybody

can attend a Tibetan wedding. One has to respect the horoscopic

laws ..... The presence of persons whose zodiacal signs clash with

those of either the bride or the groom will bring disaster. To be

safe, Tibetan weddings are held in Camera."10 Thus, astrology

and superstition exercised an overriding influence in matrimony.

Because of the stability in the Tibetan family divorces were not

very common in Tibet. According to knowledgeable sources,

whenever a situation of marital discord arose efforts were made

by the relatives and friends for compromise. But when these

efforts failed and divorce became inevitable, property was

divided, under the supervision of the girls' mother and from the

boy's side any other member of the family. In a dispute over

divorce, if the wife proved to be innocent, the husband not only

8 Ibid, p.99. 9 Ibid, p. 99. 10 Shen, Tsung-Lieu and Liu, Shen-Chi, Tibet and the Tibetans, Stanford University Press, Stanford, California, 1952. P.l44.

26

lost his wife but had also to return, along with fme, the entire

dowry which the wife had brought him at the time of marriage.

But generally divorces were very few and those that came about

were sanctioned by the Government itself.

In the Tibetan society the element . of penrusstveness was

remarkably shown in the conviction that for any widow

remarriage was essential for sustenance, security and protection.

The Tibetan author Dawa Norbu illustrates the point from his own

family background. His mother after the death of her ftrst husband

announced that she would have to remarry; and giving reason,

"she explained that, unless she had a strong partner who could

saddle, load and unload our donkeys, she could not possibly

continue our petty trade ... In short she was to remarry for our

sakes, to build a great future for us. Moreover, a fatherless family

was often bullied. Who would protect a weak woman with a

bunch of children?"11

The logic is pretty strong in the background of Tibetan life.

Various other reference show that widow-marriages were

common in Tibet.

Permissiveness and freedom in man-woman relationships,

however, did not mean that the Tibetans closed their eyes to the

11 Norbu, Dawa, Red Star over Tibet, Collins St, James Place, London, 1974, p. 89.

27

various manifestations of sexual aberration. The cardinal Tibetan

law book has thirteen decrees which embody the legal code of

conduct for the people. In the twelfth decree adultery is

pronounced as a punishable offense. 12

Some western observers have mentioned that there were horrible

punishments for sexual offenses in Tibet, e.g. clipping of the

nose. Dawa Norbu, however, has strongly challenged the

authenticity of the western scholar's contention that in Tibet the

husband had the right to cutoff his unfaithful wife's nose or ear.

At least the custom never had universal or even wide application

or usage. He states that "Although it is decreed in some old law

books-this is applicable only if a commoner commits adultery

with the wife of a person of authority, ecclesiastical or

governmental. " 13

As a matter of fact Tibetans allowed a fair degree of freedom in

sex-life to their youth, though within certain socio-ethical bounds.

Dawa Norbu's idyllic description may be quoted here, "Autumn

was the season for love-making ... this was the season of romance.

The crops were collected from the scattered fields and brought to

a clean dry spot near the suburbs. The boys and girls looked after

the corps that were being thrashed and slept among the sheaves at

night. As soon as the moon rose, the open-air love-making began.

12 Ibid., p. 79. 13 Ibid, p. 79.

28

From all sides came whistling and counter-whistling---the

language of love, or rather of the game known as 'stripping from

bed.' Groups of boy went hunting for sleeping girls, hauling them

from their beds among the dry stalks. The girl was often taken

aback-or pretended to be. Sometimes she was literally raped. In

spite of our rigid social system, young unmarried people enjoyed

free love". 14

It is added in this connection, "In Tibet lovers were far more

down-to-earth than Romeo and Juliet. Although married couples

were extremely faithful, the unmarried, particularly the young

people, enjoyed much pre-martiallicense."15

According to Rahul Sankrityayan, who extensively traveled in

Tibet, women were available at every stoppage of the journey ..

There were 'wine-women' (women selling barely bear). At places

where men and women were engaged in forced labour, he

observed that during their work men and women joked, sang and

enjoyed themselves, at time in joke men were seen stripping

women. 16 In fact, other Tibetologists have confirmed that there

was no inhibition or shyness both among men and women; during

summer one could see them taking bath naked. The general

opnnon formed from different sources is that men-women

14 Ibid., p. 92-97 15 Sanskrityana. Rahul, Meri Jeevan Yatra, Kitab ~1ahal, Allahabad 1950, pp. 88. 16 Ibid, p.89.

29

relations were very natural in Tibetan communities; neither were

the Tibetans hypocrites in this regard. Sex was given little more

importance than food. People, despite their primitivism, did

realize that sex hunger should be gratified in the most natural

manner.

Position of Women

An important indicator of the social set-up and structure of any

community is the position of women in the society. In view of this

the social standing and privileges of the Tibetan woman-hood

may be briefly considered here. The observations on the status

and position of women in the Tibetan society, are also often at

variance with one another.

On one side there is the extremely critical view that women in

Tibet were used more or less as chattels; they were considered

low or inferior born, unreliable and weak. There was no Tibetan

equivalent for 'fair sex', and woman was woe and the

personification of carnal desires. 17

Furthermore, fairly reliable reports are available about the

superstitious Tibetan belief which stigmatized a barren woman

who was considered as a pariah and outcast and who suffered

11 She11, Tsung-Lieu and liu, Liu, Shen-clli, Tibet and the Tibetans, Stanford University Press, Stanford, California, 1953, pp.l43.

30

terribly under the imputation that she was haunted and possessed

by a foul witch.

Tibetologists have also referred to their experience of having seen

Tibetan women with faces smeared with catechu to make them

look ugly and hence unable to lure the lamas by their enticing

physical charm. From all these accounts we might deduce that

superstitions about 'le femme fatale' had a strong hold on the

Tibetan mind, which in turn would indicate a low status of

women in the earlier phases of the Tibetan society.18

On the other hand, there are equally reliable authorities whose

accounts go to show the honour and dignity associated with Tibe­

tan womanhood and the male-female equality, as may be seen

from the fact that women were not debarred from holding high

government posts. One of these authorities categorically states

that the Tibetan women enjoyed full social liberty and equal

social status with men. 19

This controversy may be left alone and instead attention be

concentrated on the important sociological features of the status

and position of the Tibetan women. Quite evidently the degree of

equality of sexes in Tibet impressed most of the observers,

particularly when they viewed it with reference to the value scale

18 :Vfajupuria. lndra, Tibetan Women: Then & Now, Craftsman Prass, Bangkok, 1990, p. 70. 19 Pranavanand, Swami, Exploration in Tibet, University of Calcutta, 1950, p.81.

31

of conventional morality of the West or of Tibet's great neigh­

bours like traditional India and China.

It is clear even from the refugees' behaviour that the Tibetans do

not make a fetish of virtues like virginity, chastity and so on and

like to enjoy sex in a natural and uninhibited manner. This itself

may be a great liberating and egalitarian force. Further, the

fraternal polyandrous family gave a uniquely tactical position to

women, but at the same time it could be very tyrannical also. It is

not certainly true that faithfulness was not demanded from the

women within the system. Most of the references to sexual

freedom and libertinism are related to the pre-marital stage. 20

The view may justifiably be accepted that Tibetan women have

had near-equality with men in work and pleasure, but as it

appears, they did not enjoy complete equality with men in religion

and politics. There were also some regional differences in the

position of women.

For instance, the Tibetan respondents particularly singled out the

Amdo region in north-eastern Tibet where women had a relatively

· low status, most probably due to the conservative Chinese

influence which was the maximum in Amdo for Centuries

together.

32

The family, crucially important as it is in all societies, assumes

added significance in the Tibetan refugees' context because of the

uniquely important place it always occupied in their traditional

society just a few decades back from now. The purpose here is to

show how the Tibetan refugees behave in the family sphere 'to fill

together fragments of a life lost', and to what extent the sudden

rupture or tearing away has upset or broken on the family-life or

kinship stability. These questions are of great sociological

significance, because fragments from a most ancient and durable

civilization should more than in any other similar uprooted group

reveal how and to what degree family pattern can be recreated or

re-established by human groups after their uprooting from hearth

and home.

Before outlining the changes that have come about in the family

and marriage patterns of the Tibetan refugees, it would be appro­

priate to describe the point of disruption from where they rose

again. The movement of population from Tibet was by and large a

sudden pitchforking development, and when the refugees left their

native land, most of them did not move out as 'families' but as

individuals, or as parts of the family.

In the present study the inquiries revealed that as many as 83% of

the sample households had one or more members of their primary

family left behind in Tibet. There is another side to this tragic

20 ibid, p.ll9.

33

individual life-situation. There was a large nwnber of refugees

who came all alone, such as those who at the time happened to be

visiting Lhasa or there about, the hub of Tibetan life, on

pilgrimage, business or some other purpose. This applies also to

the Khampa and other rebellious elements who escaped in the

hope of engaging in a war of resistance from any vantage point

outside the Tibetan mainland, of course if opportunities for the

same were available.

Since the secondary data reviewed did not give any idea bout the

size-distribution of family and household in Tibet, just a general

impression can be gained that Tibetan families, in their original

setting were usually large.

Table 1.1

Size of Tibetan refugee households: 'then' and 'now'

S.No Size of the family Then Now

No Percentage No percentage

1 1-3 18 7.2 126 50.4 ··-

2 4-6 70 28 75 30

3 7-9 92 36.8 39 15.6

4 10 &above 70 28 10 4 .. _

Total 250 100.00 250 100.00

Source : F1eldwork

From the age of the head of the household, it could be ascertained

that most of the families of the size 1-3 persons were raised in

34

India by the new generation that matured here. What is most

striking is not the glaring contrast between the past and the

present in the size distribution in all size-groups other than that of

4-6 members, but the still existing cohesion and stability in the

Tibetan family.

This is in spite of the fact that in the entire sample only 5

polyandrous families (which along with other factors constituted a

main pillar of the cohesive Tibetan family-unit in the native

context) were located. It is true that probably a majority of the

'new' families that have been raised in India and that have opted

for an independent status for themselves, would have remained as

integral home. However, there is an unmistakable trend that the

Tibetan family after the initial upshot of refugee-hood is

becoming stable. The household size (on the basis of the sample

population) work out to 4.9 per unit which may soon approximate

to the size of the average Indiari family. There was a general

remark from the respondents about the increased fertility of

Tibetan women in India. According to most of the respondents,

'in Tibet it was a problem to beget children but here in India our

ladies are conceiving even at the age of 50'. This may be due to

many factors like more sedentary life, reduction in the rigors of

polyandrous marriage, changed climatic conditions etc.

Size is never an exclusive or sufficient indicator of change in the

family form. So along with the size, information was also sought

35

on the composition of the families by using the two-fold

classification, i.e. of 'conjugal' type-husband, wife or any one of

them and their offspring; and 'joint' type which from the

definition purpose meant any other type of family excepting

'conjugal', as defmed above. The information was cross-tabulated

with the family size.

On the whole, the information on family size and composition

would prove the strength of the family ties in the refugee

community.

Table 1.2

Percentage distribution of Tibetan families in India as per size and type

S.No Family Family Type Total

Size

Conjugal Joint

1 1-3 120 - 120

2 4-6 9 62 71

3 7-9 6 33 39

4 10 and above Nil 20 20

Total 135 115 250

54% 46% 100%

Source : Fteldwork

The incidence of 'jointness', i.e. 46 per cent of the total sample

households, becomes significant considering the vanous

situational elements. In the larger-size joint households, in the

36

native Tibetan society, at times, the members included 'in-la\vs'

and distant kinds and even servants at times.

However, from the composition of the 'new' families (i.e.

families raised by the generation which matured in India) the

trend which is quite perceptible is unmistakably towards conjugal

families. The circumstances of living also influence family

patterns in a significant manner, which can be seen in Tibetan

case as well. For instance, Tibetan refugees families were usually

large in the settlements, whereas comparatively they tended to be

small and of the conjugal type among the out-of-settlement

population. The difference in livelihood pattern and degree of

mobility between these two groups, and not so much the physical

factors such as housing, would appear to have influenced these

differential patterns.

The respondents stated that very few people, excepting mostly

those who lived near the border, could bring their families;

otherwise people just fled helter-skelter in order to save

themselves from Chinese subjugation. In the process many were

separated from their families while fleeing from Tibet. These

separated men and women remarried and established new families •

with new partner. In certain cases after being separated by the

force of circumstances, they searched desperately for their old

partners. During such woe-some efforts due to uncertainty,

insecurity and necessity to lean on each other a few co-travelers

37

became life-partners, even without any formal nuptial. There were

many odd sorts of pairing; a man of seventy-two married a forty­

year-old woman, and in some cases aged women married men of

the age of their sons. There was another poignant side to this

tragic drama. In quite a few cases separated women and men

married afresh. But subsequently the lost spouse reappeared when

it was too late for them to leave their new life partners, who had

shared their travails and sorrow during the crisis, and returns to

the first husband or wife.

Tibetans in exile have mostly adopted the monogamous family

from this is despite the fact that the males still outnumber the

females in the ratio of 3 to 2 (compilation made from the sample

household population).

The relatively small number of the females is becoming a real

problem among the Tibetan refugees, which is reflected in many

husbands' sense of anxiety about the stability of their family life.

However, the sex-ratio seems to be improving and tending

towards normalcy in the new generation of Tibetans.

It is noteworthy that so strong a tradition of having many spouses,

particularly of the polyandrous type, should have weakened so

soon without causing any social crisis. Most of the Tibetans opine

that the usage had become irrelevant and, in fact, they have come

to regard it as something 'bad'. The theoretical question about the

38

extent to which family and particularly martial forms are

deterministically influenced by economic factors, seems to be

fully answered in the alterations and changes through which the

Tibetan refugee society has been passing.

It has been noted earlier that in Tibet martial alliances were

subject to some strict social regulations. Both 'class endogamy'

and 'caste endogamy' were in practice. Tribe/territorial group

endogamy, however, was more a product of geographical

isolation than social regulation. Some other regulatory customs

also operated within some specific groups.

There were 24 cases cited in the sample in which marital alliances

had been formed outside the traditionally accepted groups. These .

'unorthodox' marriages constituted 8 percent of the total number

of marriages contracted during the same period. Excepting two

cases, in one a Tibetan boy married a Swiss girl and the rest 22

were between Tibetan spouses. The breaking of traditional

barriers was mostly across the ethnic/regional boundaries. In 9

cases Amdos married Khampas; 4 marriages were between Kham

and U-Tsang people; 5 between Lhasa and Amdo groups; 3

between Lhasa and Khampa people; and 2 between Amdo and U­

Tsang people.

There were instances of breaking of the traditional class barriers

as well. In one case a Khampa commoner married an Amdo noble

39

lady and in another an Amdo lady of a noble family got married

in a nomadic Khampa family. And, these were not regarded as

individual acts of defiance; the parents on either side participated

in the marriage ceremonies.

Yet these could not be regarded as 'arranged' marriages in the

normal sense of the term. It was also observed that contrary to the

old tradition in which the boy's family enjoyed superior ritual

status at least during ·the marriage ceremonials, in the case just

cited in which the low-status man married a high-status woman,

the latter's family was accorded full esteem and courtesy.

However, the old aristocracy still tries to practice rigid 'class

endogamy'. With their numerous foreign contacts and foreign

education in some case (i.e. education received in the western

countries), they have tended to accept the foreigners, particularly

the 'white' people (and they do not regard the Indians as

'foreigners') as a preferential marital group over their own people

who do not belong to their own privileged class in the native

society. In fact, the aristocrats' isolation from their own people

and growing western orientation operate at many levels.

No case of marriage between Indian and Tibetan spouses came in

the sample, though there were reports of some such cases. From

this it may be concluded that such marriages are exceptional. It

has been seen that in the traditional set-up, marriages were mostly

40

of the arranged type; usually the father or the eldest male member

of the family discharged the responsibility of arranging them. The

consent of the boy and rarely of the girl might have been taken at

'some stage.'

In the new setting, to the chagrin of the older generation 'love

marriages' are becoming the norm, though it is difficult to draw a

line of demarcation between 'arranged' and 'love marriages.'

Among the refugee groups the latter form, on account of the

greater and firmer initiative taken by the marital partners

themselves, is getting approval from the parents. Yet from the

manner the elders discussed the situation, they gave a clear

indication that they viewed the unconventional developments with

an air of anguished helplessness. It was difficult to make a tally of

the incidence of love-marriages, among the total number of

marriages held in the sample-households during any specific time

period. But from the discussion on this topic it transpired that in a

majority of cases the initiative was taken by the spouses, and the

parents, however reluctantly, fmally fell in line.

The rituals and ceremonies which form part of the marriage cycle

were significantly related to the traditional social structure. Hence .

~y change in them is indicative of structural change in the

society. In all societies the scale of ceremonies is always a

question of means and is related to the socio-economic status of

the families involved. However, the weight of the tradition in

41

enforcing decisions, even beyond the economic or social means,

is also well recognized. The importance of group norms, of

religious rituals and elaborateness of the ceremonials in the

Tibetan context have been already discussed.

For the Tibetans also, marriage being an occasion for display of

prestige, the scale and grandeur might have varied according to

one's socio-economic status. Nonetheless marriage ceremonies

were obligatory for all sections.

From a few observed occasions and interviews, what appeared

was that a significant change had overtaken the Tibetan refugee

society in regard to the ceremonial and ritual aspects of the

marriage. Gradually, marriage ceremony is becoming a personal

family event which might include its close circle of friends, rather

than an event in the social-life cycle.

The role of the traditional kinship system and specially that of the

fraternal group called 'rus' (clan), has completely weakened.

Even the sacramental part, including the presence of lama, may be

dispensed with on hard economic grounds. For instance, it was

seen that from our sample a 21 year-old girl did no more than

informed the settlement authority when she married a boy of her

own choice. She said she could afford no ceremonials. On the

contrary, a recently married girl from a noble family regretted that

they had to make do with just one day's feast.

42

Thus, there has certainly been a great deal of forcible leYeling in

the matter of scale of marriage ceremonials and area of social

participation.

The style of nuptial celebration is also changing towards <western

modes'. It was observed that in the case of the new 'set', the

young group celebrated the occasion by playing western music

and dancing in the western style. Apparently, this was not

appreciated by the older generation which wanted the marriage to

be celebrated in the traditional style. In this nonconformist form

of marriage the old who would have otherwise occupied the place

of pride on the occasion were naturally left out.

Apart from collecting general impressions of the respondents

about the changes in the family's authority structure, they were

asked a question on the changes perceived in the father-son(s)

relationship. The respondents were to give not only categorical

'yes' or 'no' answers but also explanatory comments.

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Table 1.3

Change in Family Authority Pattern

Age of respondents No change

26-35 11

36-+5 13

46-55 15

55 &above 17

Total 56

Per cent 56

Source: Fteldwork

Change

7

10

12

15

44

44

On the aggregate 56 per cent of the respondents expressed that

there has been 'no change' in traditional family-authority pattern

in which the father acted as a patriarch and the sons hardly ever

questioned his authority.

On the other hand, the remaining 44 per cent felt that there has

been a change in the traditional form of relationship. Some of

them added by way of explanation that the phenomenon of

generational conflict was manifest in the domain of family­

authority structure.

It is interesting to note that the magnitude of perception of

changes is much higher in the age-group above 46 years than in

the younger age-group. The older age-group expressed that a

change has come about in the authority of the father or male head

of the family.

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Notwithstanding the fact that the younger age group might not

have been in a position of compare the two family settings, the

old and the new, a majority of them were unequivocal in

maintaining that there had been no change. The response patterns

could be explained with reference to the generational psychology.

The older, i.e. the parental set see a devolution of their authority

and, owing to the consequent sense of insecurity, perceive the

degree of change in a much larger magnitude. On the other hand,

the younger set tend to view the degree of change as too marginal

to register any impression on their cognitive structure. The

differential in inter-generational perception might reflect not so

much the real state as a kind of inner turmoil-the older generation

feeling insecure that the family world has changed too fast, and

the younger, impatient that it has not changed enough.

It was gathered from the discussion with the respondents that the

Tibetan youth, particularly the educated, have evolved some sort

of nations that the father should also deserve respect, whereas in

the native traditional society the father automatically got respect

from his children.

Another important aspect was of analyzing change in the family

structure is through sibling relationship. This is particularly

relevant in the Tibetan context because of the strong tradition of

fraternal polyandrous form of family, which demanded complete

45

harmony among the brothers m order to preserve the family

solidarity.

As in the case of change in parental authority, in the case of

relationship pattern among the siblings also the majority of the

respondents expressed that there was no change in the traditional

type of sibling-relationship pattern which was assumed to be most

commonly harmonious.

An overwhelming proportion of the population expressed that the

old pattern had changed. They also felt that it had changed in the

negative way, i.e. in the refugee state there was less love and

affection among brothers. Some of the respondents of course felt

that it had changed for the better.

Husband-wife relationship was another element of the family

which was taken as an indicator of family change. Earlier while

describing the traditional marriage and family patterns in the

Tibetan society, the position of the Tibetan women has been

extensively examined. However, for the purpose of outlining the

process of change in husband-wife relationship, the position

obtaining in the 'native' society has been taken as the base, it is

being assumed that the respondents already had a conception of

what it was. They are only expressing if the old pattern has

changed or not, and if it has changed, in whose favour. Practically

46

speaking, they would be interpreting it in the value-scale of their

own-community setting.

According to a majority of the respondents in the state of exile the

educated and working women are getting more respect in the

family and community. They added that now women are getting

equal educational opportunities; even in economic activities they •

are playing an equal role with their male cmmterparts. The impact

of modernization has also helped in enhancing the status and role

of the Tibetan women.

While in exile, some of them are also seen working in the Tibetan

establishments along with their men-folk in important positions;

they are being represented in their parliament-type organization

which is known as the Commission of Tibetan People's Deputies.

Out of the total number of 16 seats formerly three seats were

reserved for women representatives. But since the year 1975, the

Tibetan Administration in exile has abolished these reserved seats

and women have been given an equal opportunity to compete

with men.

In India, they added, it has become impossible for them to

ascertain the faithfulness and loyalty of their wives. In India the

Tibetan men-folk outnumber their women. Naturally the Tibetan

47

women in India enjoy greater freedom in choosing their partners.

At least they have a broader opportunity for picking and choosing.

Some of the respondents even complained that their weakened

family ties in India had adversely affected the solidarity of

husband-wife relationship in a few cases.

Despite the typical situational handicaps (of refugee condition)

which portend disruption of the cohesive Tibetan family structure

and estrangement of kith and kin, the refugees have been able to

recreate, and stabilize their family structure in the midst of alien

surroundings and at a time when their children and teenagers are

more and more getting attached to extra familial or even

unfamilial institutions.

The spirit of adjustment and fortitude shown by them in this

process is truly remarkable. The psychology that has worked

behind this process has been, in no small measure, built by their

instinctive eagerness to remain true to their religion and culture.

Anyway the process of regeneration has been very impressive

indeed.

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