9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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Celebrated hacker and satirist Jaime Cochran made the world abetter place

This afternoon we learned our beloved best friend, Jaime Cochran, passedaway at her home in Oakland, California.

The headline of this story, and the words in the body do not make sense onthe screen. We are grieving her loss with everyone right now. We haveproven nothing we write here matters, so we won’t pretend like these wordsdo. Nor do they help. There’s nothing we can say that will make the pain ofthis loss go away, and anyone who knows Jaime understands anything shortof a novel simply doesn’t do justice to the life she lived. If you’re readingthis, Jaime probably affected you the way she did so many others who hadthe pleasure of knowing her.

Jaime did whatever the hell she wanted to do, she was good at what she did,and she became successful doing it. She did her own thing, and it worked.She is a legend. People idolized her.

The Internet Chronicle — chronicle.su

Jaime Cochran livedhatesec January 10, 2018 9 Comments

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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She was a genius, and working with her here was a privilege. She was like agift from the Internet.

Jaime came into Internet Chronicle when we were still relatively new, whenthe .su domain was maybe only a couple years old. She instantly identifiedwith us, understood what we were doing, and ran with her ideas, taking thewebsite to new places and making everybody laugh very hard. Most peoplelaughed.

Jaime loved trolling and messing with people’s minds, but then her workwas filled with positive, joking messages that were funny to read. She tookthe medium and made it her own, and brought it to you all, and the qualityof her work made us better just by association. This place is still a shithole,but I honestly can’t imagine what it would have been without her.

She is the funniest person I know, and we were privileged to havebefriended her, and we enjoyed her friendship from the very beginning.Jaime was one of us.

When we met Jaime, we were going after dirty people, corrupt leaders andhypocrites on this website. [We’ve since stopped doing that, and now mainlyjust focus on basketball.] We went after hate together with the veryanimosity and hatred of the targets we ridiculed. She was like us in the wayshe thought that was a fun thing to do on a Saturday night.

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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Anyway, that’s how she named me hatesec.

I asked her ‘what are we doing here?’ I said, “We have lulzsec, antisec andprosec. What are we?”

She said, “youre hatesec”

I changed my pen-name on the spot and, until today, I never looked back.

I took our good times for granted. I thought there would always be more,more phone calls, more chatlogs, more love, more time and moreeverything, and I just knew I’d look forward to even more after that. I wouldalways be looking forward to the next time I might hear from Jaime. Now Isit here in my bedroom, listening to her favorite version of Birthday Boy,and there is only looking back.

Those good times and laughs are burned into our minds.

But hey. Hysterical fits of laughter are the lifeblood of our bodies and souls,and proof time doesn’t exist, putting a big hot black punctuation mark onthe howling pain of existence. When everything around you is lost in adense fog of intense laughter, you are experiencing the physicalmanifestation of happiness itself, a permanent change in your bodychemistry that takes place after you laugh so hard that you lose control ofyourself and evolve against your will. Laughter is the mind’s lastingmemory, and Jaime came here to show us there is only this moment, and itis fucking funny.

Jaime Cochran was fucking funny.

Thank you for everything, Jaime. You made the world a better place.

If you live around Oakland, friends and family will gather at Jaime’s favoriteskatepark on Saturday, Jan. 13 from 1 to 4 p.m. DeFremery Skatepark. Theaddress is 1651 Adeline St, Oakland, California 94607. It will be 59 degreesand sunny.

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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On the same day, Internet Chronicle is hosting a memorial with Subverzo inNew York at the Double Down Saloon on the Lower East Side, startingaround 9 p.m.

Here’s some of her stuff you might enjoy:

Hate RadioSeptember 18, 2015: I’m just chillin’ in Cedar Rapids!

July 10, 2014: a very chronicle cultspeak, with kilgoar and hatesec, andmaybe asshurtmacfags

July 7, 2014: hatesec and asshurt talk about shockwaves, oil futures andsudden infant death

May 16, 2014: Jamie Jo Corne’s “Washington Bull Party” plan comes tofruition in Washington, D.C.

A few of her articles

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9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

https://chronicle.su/news/jaime-cochran-lived/ 5/11

In Wake of Devastating DDoS Attack, Chronicle StaffFinds Solace in Works of Internet Anthropologists

INTERNET — The Internet Chronicle was under siege Sunday evening, as packets

flooded in from across the globe, shutting down the site temporarily. This tactic is

widely known and used by Anonymous, a loose-knit offshoot of Anonymous hacker

group known as Anonymous, as an act of censorship to protest censorship and other

such social injustices. … Continue reading

7 The Internet Chronicle

Why North Korea Was Behind the Sony Hack, for SillyHeads!

1. The Computer Virus was Programmed in ‘Orientalʼ – OK, Iʼm no expert in Chinese,

Japanese, Cantenese or English, but I know what North Korean programming looks

like when I see it. After reviewing the source code and reading the emails, Iʼve come

to the conclusion that this is a purely North Korean mission. Nowʼs … Continue

reading

12 The Internet Chronicle

A Metamodernist on Psychdelics

INTERNET — Metamodernism is an ism. Ismʼs are important, as they help us define

our daily behaviors, creations and artistic expressions. Yep, theyʼre importante. Why

though, you donʼt ask? Well, Iʼll tell you: we have a need to classify and quantify our

emotions and creative endeavors into a ‘sandbox .̓ This ‘sandboxʼ can be escaped,

yet … Continue reading

11 The Internet Chronicle

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

https://chronicle.su/news/jaime-cochran-lived/ 6/11

Heroic Walmart Employee Admits to Not Caring AboutHis Job

Cookeville, TN — Tuesday morning a Walmart employee admitted to shocked

coworkers that he didnʼt care about his job. In what some are calling a “heroic, yet

fruitless act,” Jackson Sneed of Cookevilleʼs Walmart Supercenter did the

impossible. While store managers were doing inventory on the newly stocked, yet

somehow discounted TVʼs, they noticed that … Continue reading

4 The Internet Chronicle

Experts Reveal the Internet Chronicle is a Real Site

HAMBURG, Germany — While the world watched in amazement at the “Hell-in-a-

cell” twitter-war between bitter rivals The Tor Project and Pando Daily, a humble

researcher named Jacob Appelbalm gave a presentation at the Chaos Computer

Clubsʼ 31st Congressional hearing, in which the following years Internet agenda was

drafted. Appelbalm, most known for his truly original and extraordinary MD5 …

Continue reading

5 The Internet Chronicle

Her band:

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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Here’s some stuff she liked, that she thought everyone else should like, too:

ohbears

Ohbears playing in a jambland Share

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Longmont Potion Castle Volume IV - NashLongmont Potion Castle Volume IV - Nash

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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Harris Wittels Standup - New Faces 2008 (Just for Laughs Montreal)Harris Wittels Standup - New Faces 2008 (Just for Laughs Montreal)

Daniel Johnston - Peek a BooDaniel Johnston - Peek a Boo

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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I love you with all of my heart, Jaime. We love you, and your family, too.

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Published by hatesec I am the hatest View more posts

Join the Conversation 9 Comments

O'Reilly Media's JeffreyCarr bans only womanpresenter at all-mantech conference

dank memes win keystates in hotlycontested 2016deflection

No words needed.

January 10, 2018 at 1�14 am

andy k.

I recently met Jaime at a work Halloween party and was blown away by her wit. I waslooking forward to getting to know her better and am so devastated that she’s gone.

January 10, 2018 at 1�50 am

Amy L

Thank you for this. I grew up with Jaime and she was one of my best friends and mosthysterical people I’d ever met. This is a huge blow.

January 10, 2018 at 12�11 pm

Alex

any info on if there will be services in the Wheaton, Illinois area?

January 10, 2018 at 6�43 pm

wheaton

9/6/2019 Jaime Cochran lived – The Internet Chronicle

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The Internet Chronicle, Proudly powered by WordPress. Privacy Radio Lebal Drocer,

Inc.

I talked to Pat Hennessy and Christine Boston of trying to put something togetherin the Chicago area soon. (Jaime’s sister)

January 10, 2018 at 7�36 pm

Lauren Cochran Hyde

Hello Lauren. We are good to go for Oakland, CA and NYC. Let us know hereand we’ll let everyone else know, too. I am sorry for your loss.

January 11, 2018 at 12�00 am

hatesec

https://youtu.be/t-wUe5aEwHM

January 11, 2018 at 9�48 pm

Bill Hicks

Thank you so much. I will be there tomorrow in Oakland.

January 12, 2018 at 12�33 pm

Lauren Cochran Hyde

Still crushed & shocked miss her big time. Sorry I didn’t make it to Oakland with therest of you.

February 2, 2018 at 11�01 pm

Shane