James Carr and Archana Prasanna Kumar

IntroductionHenry Ford

In April 1983, the diaries of Adolf Hitler were discovered by Stern journalist Gerd Heideman, who then proceeded to publish excerpts of it in the West German news magazine Stern. Doubts emerged regarding the authenticity of the diary and it was later proven to be a fake. This book, however, is real, as imagined by us.

Ah, Herr Hitler, what beer would you like today? We have Paulaner, Schöfferhofer, Franziskaner Weissbier, Radeberger Pilsner and Krombacher. PBR.

We don’t serve PBR.ROYAL EDITION

LONDON, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1923.

TimesThe TWENTY FOUR PAGES PRICE: 4

d.

No. 43,494.

BEER HALL

PUTSCHHITLER AND COMPATRIOTS ATTEMPT

TO OVERTHROW GOVERNMENT

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BeerGerman morale was low in the aftermath of World War I, following their defeat. The central Bavarian govern-ment was blamed for the hyperinflation that crippled both the middle class and the poor. The voices of dissatis-faction rang loud in the beer halls where people gathered to drink and engage in public debates, or in Hitler’s case, silent judgement of others’ taste in footwear.

SAVE

Those damn Bavarian police!

The Putsch?! Forget the Putsch. They have injured you...

One of my closest and most superior collaborators, in the groin!

Of course I care; groin injuries were my thing. Now you're the new groin guy!

How dare they suppress us like this! This Putsch may have failed, but soon–

I… I never knew you cared–

SAVEDAFUHRER

SAVEDAFUHRER

GröiningGöring was one of Hitler’s earliest collaborators. He was present for the Beer Hall Putsch, and was so trusted by Hitler that he was put in charge of producing the faux-vintage invitations. He was injured in the groin when the Putsch was suppressed by the Bavarian Police, some say while trying to hurriedly re-stitch Hitler’s newly torn second favorite scarf.

PUTSCHFORK

PUTSCHFORK

This is your chance to put it all down for the masses to read. Expose those Jews for what they are!

I’m talking about the RIAA.

Helene, no one understands me! The Putsch failed–I tried to be counter cultural, but they just didn’t get it. If it’s prison or death, I choose death! Ernst, go fetch some PBR!

*sniff* *sniff* But I’m better at drawing!

Well, this will be an opportunity for you to grow as an artist.

I just bought some acrylics to paint a mural exposing the truth about those filthy, rotten–

Exactly, it’s time you shed light on all the lies, stupidity and cowardice that exists today...

They’re everywhere these days. It’s gotten to the point where one group of people are destroying society. I blame them for everything that’s wrong with today’s scene.

Oh Adolf, you will only be sent to a cushy fortress prison. With all that time on your hands, you could write a brilliant exposition of your ideology

AftermathThe failure of the Beer Hall Putsch had an enormous effect on the Führer. He would go on to heavily criticize the actions of the Bavarian Police, their uniforms, and the overall acoustics of the hall itself, which he called “totally unsuitable for synth.”

LANSBERGPRISON

Mein Führer! I'm so glad you're finally free!

It was the worst eight months of my life. I couldn't use my clothes to express myself… I had to rely on my personality. Ugh!

They wouldn't accommodate my ironic kosher vegan diet either.

All I've done is starve and work on this book, though I worry it goes too easy on the Jews.

Mein Gott! You've lost three jean sizes! You're a stick!

Oh G, you always know how to cheer me up.

ReleaseAfter the failure of the Beer Hall Putsch, Hitler was arrested and incarcerated in Lansberg Prison, where he attempted to totally upheave the institution’s poor feng shui and “uninspired and culturally bereft” meal program.

MEINCRAFT

MEINCRAFT

MEINCRAFT