Jamy Esl Lesson

8/8/2019 Jamy Esl Lesson

1/31

Lesson 1 - A Soldier's Lie

The Story

Once a soldier asked his commanding officer for a day's leave to attend his sister'swedding.The officer asked him to wait outside the door for a few minutes while he considered therequest.The officer then called the soldier back in and said, "You are a liar. I've just phoned yoursister and she told me she's already married.""Well, sir, you're an even bigger liar," the soldier replied, "because I don't even have asister."

Vocabulary Practice

Mark the best choice.

1. 'Leave' here means ......a. going out from a placeb. one part of a treec. permission to be absent from workd. asking a person for some money

2. To 'attend' here means to ...a. take care ofb. pay forc. be present atd. look at

Questions for Discussion

1. Why did the soldier tell the officer a lie?2. Why did the officer tell the soldier a lie?3. Can you remember telling such lies?


2/31

Lesson 2 - In Pajamas

The Story

Staying at a hotel in Yarmauth, I couldn't sleep because the television in the residents'lounge was so loud. As I could see from the top of the stairs, the lounge was in totaldarkness, so I crept downstairs in my pajamas. I went to the TV and after somefumbling with the knobs I managed to switch it off.

As I turned to leave, I suddenly became aware of a semi-circle of people sitting in thedark who, up until that moment, had been enjoying a television program.

Vocabulary Practice


1. 'Lounge' is ..........a. kind of taxi in the airport etc.b. small room for workersc. public sitting room in a hoteld. special case for television

2. To 'creep' means to .........a. run quicklyb. jump offc. shout out

d. move quietly3. To '.......' means to move the hands awkwardly to do something or to findsomething.

a. fumbleb. managec. switchd. reside

4. A 'knob' is a.....a. hotel roomb. small TVc. round handled. special table


1. What is the main funny point in the story?2. Why did the man go downstairs in pajamas?3. What do you think will happen next?


3/31

Lesson 3 - Beggar Replacement

The Story

The doorbell rang, and the housewife answered it. She found two beggars outside. "So,you're begging in twos now?!" she exclaimed." No, only for today," one of them replied. "I'm showing my replacement the ropesbefore going on holiday."

Vocabulary Practice


1. A 'beggar' is a person who.......a. sells food and clothesb. has no moneyc. asks for moneyd. does the housework

2. To 'exclaim' means to..........a. say something kindlyb. say suddenly and loudlyc. walk quicklyd. look angrily

3. A ..... is a person that you put in place of yourself or another.a. beggarb. ropec. housewifed. replacement

4. 'Ropes' here means .......a. the rules and customs in a place or activityb. pieces of strong thick cordc. people you probably meet in a special placed. houses which are expensive


1. This joke is telling us something about beggars' life. What is it?

2. Do you know a joke or a true story about beggars?


4/31

Lesson 4 - Wedding Gifts

The Story

Jack and his bride were opening their wedding gifts. After unwrapping each package,Lisa would exclaim enthusiastically, "We really need these towels" or "We'll enjoy eatingoff these pretty plates." Then she opened one very large box. It contained a vacuumcleaner."Jack," Lisa said, "look what you've got."

Vocabulary Practice

Mark the best choice

1. To 'unwrap' means to .....a. fastenb. breakc. opend. write

2. 'Package' means .......a. plateb. parcelc. roomd. book

3. 'Enthusiastic' means ......a. quite angryb. indifferentc. with great interestd. showing disliking

4. Another word for 'vacuum cleaner' is ..........a. electric fanb. cleaning machinec. Hooverd. electric machine


1. What is funny about this story?2. Who do you think should use the vacuum cleaner? Why?


5/31

Lesson 5 - Wedding Gown

The Story

When my sister got married, she wore my mother's wedding dress. The day shetried it on, the gown fitted her exactly and mother started to cry. "You're not losing adaughter," I reminded her, putting my arm around her, "you're gaining a son.""Oh, forget about that!" she said with a sob, "I used to fit into that dress."

Vocabulary Practice

1. Mark the best choice.2. A 'gown' is a ........

a. building where people marryb. dress worn at a special timec. person who is marriedd. meal served at wedding

3. To 'fit' means to ..........a. find something outb. live happilyc. see something sadd. be the right size

4. A ... is a noisy and irregular breath from crying.a. gown

b. gainc. sobd. fit


1. What is funny about this story?2. Who do you think is telling the story?

Activities

1. Now you tell your friend(s) the story in your own words.2. Pronounce the following words several times:

1. Gown2. Marry3. Gain4. Wore


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7/31

Lesson 7 - The Best Accountant

The Story

An accountant answered an advertisement for a job with a large firm. At the end of theinterview the chairman said, "One last question-- what is three times seven?" Theaccountant thought for a minute and replied, "Twenty-two".Outside he took his calculator and realized that he should have said twenty-one. Heconcluded that he had lost the job. A fortnight later, however, he was offered the post.

After a few weeks, he asked the chairman why he had been when he had given thewrong answer."You were the closest," the chairman replied.

Vocabulary Practice


1. An 'accountant' is a ......a. person who wants a jobb. machine which adds, deletes, etc.c. person who keeps money recordsd. company manager

2. 'Firm' here means ....a. strong personb. business companyc. shop managerd. important decision

3. A 'chairman' is a person who .....a. sells or buys chairsb. controls a meetingc. answers phone callsd. says the latest news

4. A fortnight is ......a. one monthb. one yearc. twenty daysd. two weeks

5. 'Appoint' here means to ......a. interview someoneb. choose a person for a jobc. call a person to comed. let a person visit a place



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1. What did the chairman mean by the last sentence?2. How true can such a story be?3. Why do you think should an accountant make such a mistake?


9/31

Lesson 8 - Delicious Pie

The Story

We were two Australian student nurses training at an English hospital. During visitinghours, we would take a break in the ward kitchen and often a kindly visitor would slip usa cake or some chocolate.One night a woman brought a pork pie to the kitchen and asked me, "Would you 'eatthis up, love?"My friend and I ate every crumb and were delighted--until the woman returned andasked, "Is my 'usband's pie 'ot yet, dear?"

Vocabulary Practice


1. 'Ward' here means .......a. a kind of cookerb. head nursec. a part in a hospitald. temperature

2. To 'Slip' here means to ......a. divide sthb. give secretlyc. move slowlyd. d get worse

3. 'Pork' means meat from ......a. cowb. sheepc. hend. pig

4. 'Crumb' means a ......a. kind of fresh fruitb. very big piece of piec. very small bit of bread, cake, etc.d. person who works in a hospital

5. 'Delighted' means .......a. very angryb. quite tiredc. pretty darkd. very pleased



10/31

1. The woman in the story cannot pronounce a sound. What is it? What can be thereason?

2. What do you think will happen next?

Activities


1. ward2. crumb3. delighted4. until5. slip


11/31

Lesson 9 - My Modern Car

The Story

After lunch my friend and I paid the bill and made our way to my car. I took out myremote-control gadget and pressed the button which automatically unlocks the doors.Not having noticed what I did, my friend looked puzzled and asked, "What was thatclicking sound?""It was just the doors unlocking," I answered.He looked at me with astonishment and said, "The car recognizes you?!"

Vocabulary Practice


1. 'Bill' here means a ........a. part of a bird's mouthb. printed notice on a wall or fencec. list of things bought and their priced. piece of paper money

2. A 'gadget' is a ........a. kind of carb. small machinec. long keyd. piece of cloth

3. 'Puzzled' means ......a. very happyb. in an angry mannerc. unable to understandd. not suitable

4. To 'click' means to .....a. try to understand somethingb. make a short, sharp soundc. drop something heavyd. walk toward something

5. 'Astonishment' means ......a. happinessb. friendly smilec. grate surprised. indifference


1. What is funny about this story?2. How do like this kind of technology?


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Activities


1. Remote-control

2. Gadget3. Automatically4. Puzzled5. Click6. Astonishment7. Recognize


13/31

Lesson 10 - Poor Cat!

The Story

As a student I ate my meals at a seaside boarding-house. The landlady was a goodcook and, as her husband was a fisherman, we always ate fish for dinner. Eventually Igot tired of it, and took to slipping it under the sofa, where the family cat would find anddevour it.This worked very successfully until one day the landlady tiptoed up behind me and said,"Young man it's high time I told you that our cat was run over by a lorry three weeksago."

Vocabulary Practice


1. A 'boarding-house' is a ...........a. building which is near the seab. kind of very expensive hotelc. house giving room(s) and foodd. kind of school with a pool

2. A 'landlady' is a woman who ........a. is old and weakb. keeps a boarding-housec. has a lot of moneyd. only looks after her family

3. 'Eventually' means .....a. naturallyb. in the endc. meanwhiled. happily

4. To 'take to' here means to....a. carry something to somewhereb. ask someone to do somethingc. begin to do something as a habitd. go away to some place to hide

5. To 'devour' here means to .....a. look at something angrilyb. play with somethingc. throw something awayd. eat something hungrily

6. To 'tiptoe' means to ......a. walk quietly on the toesb. say something softlyc. hit something by footd. run towards something


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7. To 'run over' means to.....a. hit something while runningb. drive over somethingc. take something awayd. steal something from a place


1. What point is funny in the story?2. What would you do if you were the student?3. What can probably be found under the sofa now?

Activities


1. Eventually2. Devour3. Sofa4. Tiptoe5. Lorry


15/31

Lesson 1 - Book Sale

The Story

"I may want to read it again one day" is the reason why my husband keeps every bookhe reads. Over 25 years most of them, never opened again after the first reading, haveaccumulated in our cellar. One day, however, thinking he'd never notice their absence, Idonated most of them to a charity book sale. As I stood admiring the empty cellar, Iheard Frank call to me, "I'm home early so I can get to the book sale before it closes."While he was gone, I prepared for the worst. But when he arrived home empty-handed,I asked him if there had been any books that interested him."Yes, there were lots of good ones," he replied, "but I've got them all,"

Vocabulary Practice


1. To 'accumulate' here means to ___.

a. become moreb. sell somethingc. read a bookd. become useless

2. 'Cellar' is ___.

y a room in a hotely an underground roomy a very large buildingy a big shelf for books

3. To '___' means to make a gift of something, especially for a good purpose.

y admirey call toy donatey notice

4. 'Charity' means ___.

y some books which are no longer neededy help for people who are poor or in troubley an organization for selling booksy a group of people living together


16/31


1. Does Frank have the good books now? Where are they?2. Do you think it is a good idea to keep the books after reading them? Discuss.3. What do you think Frank will do when he understands what has happened?


17/31

Lesson 2 - Anniversary-birthday Card

The Story

"Do you have any anniversary-birthday cards?" a man asked the stationer."We have anniversary cards and we have birthday cards, but we don't carry one thatcombines both. Why?""Simple ," replied the man. "My wife is celebrating the fifteenth anniversary of her thirty-fourth birthday."

Vocabulary Practice


1. 'Anniversary' means ___.

y the day a person is borny exactly the day a person gets marriedy same date when something happened in the pasty party given for birthday

2. A 'stationer' is a person who ___.

y looks after stationsy sells pen, paper, etc.y is in a stationy takes pictures

3. To 'carry' here means to ___.

y have something for saley to have something to eaty give as a resulty move one's head

4. To '___' means to do something to show that a day or a happening is special.

y combiney simplifyy celebratey station



18/31

1. Why is the lady celebrating the anniversary of her birthday and not just her birthday?2. What are anniversary cards for?


19/31

Lesson 3 - Weather Forecast

The Story

While we were sailing, my friend tuned in to listen to the weather forecast on a localradio station. Over the airwaves, there was a pause and an audible shuffling of papers,followed by a voice saying, "I'm sorry, I can't find the forecast, but let me look out of thewindow--Oh! it's a lovely drying day."

Vocabulary Practice


1. To '___' means to adjust a radio to receive a certain program.

y broadcasty saily tune iny shuffle

2. 'Airwaves' means ___.

y windy planey radio wavesy light waves

3. 'Forecast' is ___.

y a kind of radioy statement of future eventsy a person reading the newsy a kind of boat

4. To 'shuffle' here means to ___.

y walk heavily towards somethingy move around to different positionsy write to somebodyy talk softly to someone


1. What is wrong with such a forecast?2. What's the weather like today?


20/31

Lesson 4 - Vacuum Cleaner

The Story

A man selling vacuum cleaners appeared at the door of an old lady's cottage and,without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bagof dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new magical cleaner doesn't pick upevery bit of dirt, I'll eat it."The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough moneyto buy that, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what wouldyou prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"

Vocabulary Practice


1. A 'cottage' is a ___.

y kind of shopy small house in the countryy very big expensive housey kind of car

2. To 'rush' means to ___.

y drive slowlyy talk rapidlyy move quicklyy walk heavily

3. To 'cut off' here means to ___.

y remove by cuttingy make by cuttingy disconnecty pay the bill


1. Why did the man throw the bag of dirt over the carpet?2. Why should the man choose either a spoon or a knife and fork?3. What do you think the man will do the next time he wants to sell something?


21/31

Lesson 5 - I'm Staying Here

The Story

The traveling salesman had booked himself in for the night in a small boarding-house,but due to a lengthy business meeting he did not arrive until after midnight. He couldsee no signs of life, but not wanting to spend the night on the doorstep he pressed thebell. After an interval, an upstairs window opened and an angry woman peered out."What is it?" she asked." It's Mr. Jerkins," replied the helpless salesman, "I'm staying here.""All right," came the response. "Stay there". And she slammed down the window!

Vocabulary Practice


1. To 'book' here means to ___.

y read a booky reserve a roomy take a long tripy make a call

2. 'Due to' means ___.

y but noty moreovery because ofy as well as

3. To '___' means to look carefully, as if unable to see.

y slamy pressy peery meet

4. To 'slam' means to ___.

y look angrily at somethingy shut loudly and forcefullyy move slowlyy say something


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1. What is funny about this story?2. What do you think will the salesman do next?3. Do you remember a misunderstanding like this one?


23/31

Lesson 6 - Meat Order

The Story

I worked for a butcher for two years. Then he dismissed me for insolence and I decidedto take vengeance on him. The following Saturday morning, when the shop was packedwith people buying meat, I stepped in, went to the counter and slapped down a deadcat. "There you are," I called out seriously, "that makes up the dozen you ordered."

Vocabulary Practice


1. 'Insolence' means ___.

y being very rudey stealing moneyy fightingy talking

2. 'Vengeance' means ___.

y asking someone for moneyy harming a person who has harmed youy trying to please someoney going to a place without permission

3. 'Packed' here means ___.

y wrappedy silenty filledy pleased

4. To 'slap', here means to ___.

y hit someone severelyy speak very angrilyy put something down hardy cut something into pieces


24/31


1. Why did the man take the dead cat to the butcher's?2. What do you think will happen next?3. What do you think of vengeance?


25/31

Lesson 7 - Killing Mothballs

The Story

The old lady walked into a chemist's shop and bought a packet of mothballs. The nextday she returned . and again bought a packet of mothballs. On the third day she did thesame and when she appeared the fourth day and asked again for a packet of mothballs,the chemist could not restrain his curiosity.'You must have a lot of moths, madam?' he queried.'Yes, I have,' she nodded, 'and I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been throwingthese balls at them for three days now and I haven't hit one yet!'

Vocabulary Practice


1. A '___' is a small ball made of a strong-smelling substance, used for keeping mothsaway from stored clothes.

y chemisty mothbally mothy curiosity

2. To 'restrain' means to ___.

y add toy be impolitey hold backy speak

3. 'Curiosity' means ___.

y wanting to know about thingsy showing things to other peopley ability to say somethingy having much knowledge

4. To 'query' means to ___.

y find out somethingy look after somethingy write something downy ask somebody a question


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5. To 'nod' means to ___.

y talk loudlyy bend the head forwardy show disagreement withy

jump up


1. What is funny about what the lady has been doing?2. Why did the chemist become curious about the mothballs?


27/31

Lesson 8 - An Excellent Hammer

The Story

An apprentice blacksmith was told by his master to make a hammer. The lad had notthe slightest idea how to begin, so he thought he'd be crafty to nip out and buy one. Heduly showed the new hammer to his master.'That's excellent, boy' the master said, 'Now make fifty more just like this one.'

Vocabulary Practice


1. A(n) '___' is a young worker who is learning his job or trade.

y blacksmithy apprenticey mastery hammer

2. A 'blacksmith' is ___.

y a person making and repairing things made of irony a man whose skin color is very darky a company which makes wooden thingsy a shop which sells things made by other people

3. 'Lad' means ___.

y woody old many boyy metal

4- 'Crafty' means ___.

y suitable for a purposey impolitey clever in tricking peopley expensive

5. To 'nip', here means to ___.


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y take firmlyy move quicklyy drive fasty think carefully


1. Why did the boy buy a hammer?2. This story teaches us something? What is it?3. What do you think will happen next?


29/31

Lesson 9 - Take Him to the Zoo

The Story

A policeman strolling in the park one day was astonished to see a man walking towardshim with a fully-grown African lion on a lead. 'Hey!' said the policeman, 'you can't walkaround with a lion like that. Take him to the Zoo!''Oh, all right, officer, 'said the lion owner, and away he went. But the next day thepoliceman was again confronted with the man and his fully-grown African lion walkingalong the street. 'Hey, you!' yelled the policeman, 'I thought I told you yesterday to takethat lion to the Zoo?''I did,' came the reply, 'and today I'm taking him to the cinema.'

Vocabulary Practice


1. To 'stroll' means to ___.

y drive fasty walk slowlyy watch closelyy run quickly

2. To 'astonish' means to ___.

y talk angrilyy surprise greatlyy look aftery become happy

3. A 'lead' here means a ___.

y special car for carrying a dogy kind of wild animaly rope for controlling an animaly kind of very big tree

4. To 'confront' means to ___.

y go ahead ofy attacked byy carry somethingy cause to meet


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1. What is funny about this story?2. What do you think will happen in the cinema?

Lesson 10 - A Useful Tip


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Some years ago, when the brother of an acquaintance of mine was a university student,he bought his first car. Eager to show it off, he asked his parents to go for a ride. Asthey were driving along, he glanced in his rear-view mirror and saw his father sitting inthe back seat with his mouth open. He took this as the sign of his father's surprise.Shortly afterwards, he heard his father whisper to his mother, "If you keep your mouth

open, your teeth don't rattle."

Vocabulary Practice


1. An 'acquaintance' is a person ___.

y who works for youy studying at a collegey you know a little

y unknown to you

2. To 'show something off' means to ___.

y hide something you have boughty lend something to someoney keep watching at something beautifuly let people see something new, nice, etc.

3. To 'whisper' means to ___.

y see something very strangey say something very softlyy write something downy pull something heavily

4. To 'rattle' means to ___.

y make a lot of quick little noisesy laugh loudly at somethingy take something up and downy drive a car at a very high speed


1. Was the father really pleased with the ride? How do you know?

2. What do you think of showing off? a quotable quote

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Jamy Esl Lesson