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JEMMY JOHNSON.

" I’ faith we thank ye-yott have bid iir, to

calf’s head und capon, the which if we do not calvemost curiously, say our knife is naught. "

In truth we have used yon, most potent,grave and valiaut Medico, our very wellapproved good friend, and worthy fellow-labourer in the literary vineyard, (for weare fellow-labourers, although you toilecland plodded through the heat of the dayupon stuhborn and ungrateful husks,while we, called only at the eleventh hour,are orthodox christians enough to claimonr full share, of the generoas wine juice,)we have, we say, (a plague on all paren-theses,) used you most scurvily of late-it is we know not how long since yonraced our pages. We have quite ne-glected you ; but when we in good earnestand with sober intent desert you, mayheaven abandon us; we owe yon a heavy,a wearisome load of obligation, and willdo onr best towards a trim reckoning.In the feeble hours of infancy and child-hood, when we were " mewling andpuking in our nurse’s arms," and in the

slippery paths of youth, your bosomsoothed—your fostering hand cherishedus. Ingratitude is a crime so enormous,that the wretch has never yet been foundblack enough to acknowledge himself

guilty of it, and fottl befallls if you meetwith even a scratch from that °‘ more fellthan serpent’s tooth’ from us; you actedas miden aunt to ns when wefirst ‘° cameout," have we not, since maturity con-iirmed our youthful promise, done our

best towards repaying the obligation?have wf not been the nron of your age—the solace of yonr declining existence ?sustaining and directing your totteringsteps, animating yon when you tattered,spreading before yon onr protecting Ægis,and throwing the halo of our giory (notto speak it profanely) around the mildand saintly dotage of your green old age ?In verity we have done, or attempted todo, all this ; bnt with contrition of heartwe repeat, that we have sadly neglectedyou ot’ late, and we therefore hasten to

vonr beck with the greater readiness.We accept your invitation, and if, in theeageness of appetite which long aissli- i-nence has provoked, we shnuhi treat the

fare which you have set before us ratherunccerimoniously, do not be offended, Nvill

you? the more we cut and slesh and paitand tear, the better do we love it, themore justice do ve to you, the founderof the feast. A ceremonions guest is anunwelcome visiter, and a hospitable host

is rejoiced to see keen knives and hnngryvisanes ; attribute; therefore, all to excessof loving; we are the mildost creatures

breathing, not an atom of gall in onr

composition, onr very ink is void of’ it,we will scnd you the prescription. Over-

flowing with the cream of the milk ofhuman kindness, true Isaak Waltons, weembowel and dismember a frog, as4’ through we loved him. " The repast to

which you have invited us is a kind of" petit soupé," the 9th upon the list ofthe Medico-Chirurgical Review pnblishedin Jnlv last; it is true that we had a sortof roving commission, and we hardlyknow what made us pause before this

table, and give it the preference to the

many other tempting boards, all groaningunder a profusion of g-ood tlaings by whichit was surrounded. Something or otherwe suppose which it possessed over andabove its neighbonrs attracted onr

olfactories; but no matter, choose itwe did, and, as we are no glnttons,will be confined in our choice ; by thesonl of Epicurus no meagre one. Weare however, no adepts in the cnlinaryart, and having the fear of Mrs. Glasseand Dr. Iiitcleuer before our eyes,willnot attempt either to brand a barbacuedhog’s head, or barbacue a Brande’s, toserve up Cæsar in his " mantle, " or ScipioAfricanus in his " naked simplicity, " tomake" the gruel thick and slab " with bloodRoyal," or remove the cover from Celsus inhis " isolated grandeur." We will supposethat it is not a literal but a literary t’eastto which we are sitting down, and treatit it

accordingly, that is, chit chat over it withyon in a good.humoured gossiping man·ner—occasionally hinting a doubt or he.sitating dislike; giving yon a pinch whenyou are nodding, or confining you by gen-tle violence to yonr easy chair when thedetiiinm is n, bnt all in perfect goodwilland abounding charity, and qiiite (recollectthat) entre nous, the public knoviiiig no-thing of tile matter.

" To whom, " say yon, (and this is thehead and front of your offending,) " istlte name of Brande unknown?" now thisis unkind and treacherous, it is makingyour friend (he is yonr friend althoughfew wouid suppose it) appear awkwardand ridiculous, by giving him a laced coatand tawdry qualifications which naturenever intended him to wear," it is makinghim " the principal figure in a piece,inWhich, but for your amicable assistance,he might have passed without particularnotice or distinction, " putting him on a.cap and bells, and aising the hue andcry against him, and it challenges us toreply, meek and amiable as we are-towhom ought it to be known uncoupled, or

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rather unpreceded, unsustained iry thoseof young and Farraday! lllr. Brande isno donbt all excellent chemist; we takethis for granted, because you say so,

knowing ourselves scarrely more of thatscience than is necessary for compoundingan effervescing dranght; trut to Dr.

Yonng is all the real merit of what is

familiarly termed " Brande’s Journal,"bnt correctly the " Jonrnal of the RoyalInstitution," dne ; and to Mr. Farradayall his (Mr. B.’s) practical chemical ex-cellence, althongh you never let the worldinto the secret; how then, it will be

asked, does it happen that Mr. Brandeenjoys credit belonging to or derived fromothers? When either Dr. Young or Mr.Farraday may be inclined to append to

theedoor-posts of the R. Institution, orof the Hall of Apothecaries, a consecn-

tive string of " sic vos non vobises,"theqtiestion will. be answered and theenigma explained, we can only (Davus ’non ffidipns) hazard the conjecture thatDoctor Young may be a modest andan indolent man, and that Mr. F.’s po-verty, rather than his will, niay be theconsenting member of the contract; andask, in return, why Marcet was, yearshack, said to lecture at Guy’s, and notWilson, (to Allen he was only an assis-

tant ?) why Lawrence was called an as-sistant surgeon, and Sir Ludford Harvey,of the " Spes mea Surgere" Mottoe, a

surgeon to Bartholomew’s? why Home,but more e>pecially some others, withlarger wigs and fewer brains, tor he has

Bdone something for physiology in spite ofhis ebriety and prosing, have been so

talked about, and Chft, the most modest iand unassuming of nren, mentioned onlvonce a yeur, if the lectnrer happen to bein a condescending humour? and wh);uo2t have the credit of all the good things inThe JoHN BULL? " Pahmam qui merit fe-rat, " is in the mouths of all. Every one says," let him have who meits;" bnt whotakes care that he does have? .’- You, inthis instance, could—we cannot, bnt wewill, at all events, take care that othersdo not; that the undeserving does not

bear off the palm, and we therefore se-peat, that wherever Mr. Brande’s nameis known, it ought to be known only alongwith those of Young and Farraday, forto its support they are as indispensa-ble as the pole and tlte aotar aspect tothe hop-plant; the latter is frad andpeshable ccmpared with the erect andvigorous prop aronnd which it twines.and ntterly insignificant in comparisonwith tue genial influence which warms itinta being and sustains its vitality. W(will not pursue the simile, bnt leave MrBrande to slilft for himself, and retlirii

you his most humble and heart-felt thanksfor the old house which you have pulledabout his ears.And so you object, our best of friends,

to " honorary appendages. We are sorryto differ from you, but we perfectly doteupon them—value them as the apple ofour eye, especially when, in the form ofan inverted pyramid, the name of theman, tich in titles, forming the base, andan &c. the apex ; nothing can, in ourestimation, be more chaste and classical ;it is a structure formed for immortality," ære perennius, " and we should pernseeven your lncubrations with far greaterzest were yonr " Editor " less modest andchary under this head. What! (his mo-

desty is a flambean to his merit) only Member of the College of Physicians,and " Physician extraordinary to his

Royal Highness the Duke of Clarence " !This is nothing, 11 air, thin air," a mere’scutcheon ; we like to have something tolook at for onr money ; it may answer nouseful or christianlike purpose, but, as

the widow Wadman said, " it is handyjust to have in the house ;" besides, suchconduct is most heterodox ; it is hiding acandle under a bushel, for to our certainknowledge he has suppressed, at least,six " honorary appendages ;" but then,(why let the cloven foot peep out?) as hesays, (da veniam,) you, the reviewer wemean, say,

" suppress insignificant and

the pnblic will give you credit for signi-ficant ones as a matter of course ;" excel-lent casuistry! so oveipowering, that

even " the naked simplicity of his greatname" could not resist it, and consent tostand clieek by jole with those of Celsitsand Scipio Africanus, " requiring no od-

deur, " " unsupported, " " in isolated gran-

deur, " and " mocking petty epithets"!!but forsooth, "Doctorates of Medicines,"aud " similar institutions to the blood

royal " (s’blood what is all this jargon,friend?) are exceptions, and ought to beappended, that is to say, a Celslls or aScipio Africanns might have adopted

them, and still " mocked at petty epi-thets ; " (by the bye, how long have title!:

been epithets, or learned and M.D., piousand D.D., Royal and Rex, been synony-mous?) and all for BBhy? because yourEditor (how amiable!) possesses a Medi-cal Doctorate and Blood Royal institution.Tell us now, prithee, in what a Loctorateor Medicine excels an F. L. S., F. A. S.,or M.R.I.A., ipso facto and of itselfconsidered, over and above occupyingmore room and blackening more paper;and have the condescension to inform theuninitiated, why it is honourable, and re-dounds to a man’s merit, to announce tothe public that he pttynics, " extraordi-

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narily, " the lowest and most despicablemember, with one exception, when notafloat, of a profligate and imbecile BloodRoyal, but is disreputable, or to use his(pardon, l/our) own terms, " lamentablethat a respectable man should gravelycommunicate to the public that he wasonce a President of the Medical Societyof Edinburgh, " a much more useful, rc-spectable, unambiguous, and independentoffice (with submission be it spoken) thanthat of physician to " all the blood of allthe royals." What we (good easy men)should " think of that man’s sense whoinscribed on a title page " William Sliak-speare, Esq. F.A.S.," would be express-ed by an indelible A.S.S., as the adjunctto his name; but have yon (hide yourface) the modesty to insinuate, and mustwe take credit for the simplicity to infer,that you have ever

" stooped to such et,

quarry, " " damned with faint praise,"and bedaubed with the slime of yourapprobation (excuse, we are under theinfluence of a provocature) any indivi-dual so exalted, that even an M. A. C.(Member of the Apothecaries’ Company,gentle reader !) would degrade him to anequality with William Shakspeare, al-

though Esquired and F.A.S—ed? Aswell might you presume to rival yourchum Hotspur (happy fellows! you areas famiiiar as gloves with these worthies)in " plucking down pale honour from themoon." Take our advice, it is sincerelymeant and freely given ; you are not so iyoung as you was—we are not always atyour elbow; leave other aspirants toF.A.S. Shakspeare ; avoid Scipio Afri-canus, Milton, and Pope, as religiouslyas a disciple of Mahomet would an un-clean animal; reverence Celsus too muchto suppose for a moment that his namestands in need of your bolstering, (no oldwife tucks up a bed better, by the bye,)and be very careful how you ventureupon even a Cooper or a Halford. Thelion in the fable at last lost all forbear-ance, and crushed his friend the fly;beware! we would not see you perish.Surely, too, you ought to have felt somereverential awe in profaning names so

holy, for the ungodly purpose of provingto the world, what the world knew be-fore, that Mr. Brande, the chemist, hadmore paltry adjuncts than any drug inhis laboratory.

Good night, Jemmy, until our next.

N. T. X.

HOSPITAL REPORTS.

GUY’S HOSPITAL.

The operation by Mr. Key for the re-moval of a scirrhous tumour from thebreast, of which a detailed account wasgiven in Number 127, has proved fatalunder the following circumstances:—Onthe subsequent day to the operation, wefound the patient labouring under greatconstitutional irritation: pulse 126, andfirm ; skin hot; tongne covered,withayel-lowish fur, and complaining of a state ofnausea ; she had vomited bilious matter inthe night. The respiration was hurried,and she had a tickling congh, which dis-ti essed her much ; as the bowels werecostive, a dose of colocynth and calomelwas directed, which was to he followedup by a mixture of salts and senna. Acommon saline mixture was directed tobe taken every four hours, and a demul-cent linctus occasionally.

, Jan. 27. Pulse equally quick, but more

compressible; the cough still continnes,occasioning much pain and disturbance

’ ,to the wound ; the expectoration is viscidand streaked with blood. She took a

’ further dose of colocynth last night, andthe bowels have been freely evacnated;

the nausea is somewhat diminished. Thestrips of adhesive plaster being removedfrom the wound, it was foiind that anerysipelatous blush of inflammation ex.tended around the wound. Linen rags,made wet with the following lotion, wereordered to be applied :Subcarbonate of ammonia, 3 drachms;Wuter, 1 pint.Dr. Bright saw the patient to-day in

consultation with Mr. Key, and the fol-lowing medicines were directed:

Calomel, 1 grain;;Opiunt, half a grain; ;

to be taken three times a day.Carbonate of magnesia, 10 grs.;Mint water, 1 oz.;Comp. spirit of lavendet, drachm;

to be taken every six hours.

28. Pulse 126 ; tongue still coveredwith a yellowish fur. There is evidentlya suffusion of bile throughout the system.The congh continues with scanty viscidexpectoration; the bowels are well open ;she has occasional bilious vomitings. Theinflammation around the wound has notextended considerably.