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July/August 2014
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The Dun Valley Churches are members of The Clarendon Team
THE CLARENDON TEAM MINISTRY OF CHURCHES
TEAM RECTOR Revd Nils Bersweden, The Rectory, The Plantation, Winterslow, Salisbury SP5 1RE Tel 01980 862231. Mobile 07960 321355 E-Mail: [email protected]
TEAM PRIEST (with Deanery Schools responsibility) Revd Elizabeth Moore-Bick Tel 01722 711144 E-Mail: [email protected]
TEAM CURATES Revd Cynthia Buttimer Tel: 01980 862017, [email protected] Revd Jane Dunlop Tel: 01794 884793, [email protected] Revd Andrew Poppe Tel: 01980 863449, [email protected]
TEAM LAY LICENSED MINISTERS Mrs Gill Morgan, Mr Bill Thompson, Mrs Debbie McIsaac, Mr Michael Barratt
OTHER CLERGY Canon Roger Sharpe, Canon Jeremy Davies, Revd Anthea Cochrane, Revd Gordon Mitchell
CLARENDON TEAM WEBSITE – www.clarendonteam.org - an informative website covering Worship services, notices and activities throughout the Team
Team Worship Rota – www.clarendonteam.org/rotacurrent.htm, or to download in MS Excel www.clarendonteam.org/rotacurrent.xls
TEAM ADMINISTRATOR Clarendon Team Office, St. John’s School Room, Gunville Road, Winterslow, Salisbury SP5 1PP
Tel 01980 863635 (Mon-Fri 9-11 a.m.) E-Mail [email protected]
WEST DEAN WITH EAST GRIMSTEAD CHURCHWARDENS Mr Bob Trott, Oakley, East Grimstead (Holy Trinity) 01722 712685 Mr. Mike Marx, West Dean (St. Mary’s) 01794 340271
FARLEY WITH PITTON CHURCHWARDENS Mrs Sara Bossom, Stockbottom House, Pitton 01980 611133 Vacancy (All Saints)
MAGAZINE EDITOR Rod Coppock, Timbers, Beeches Close, Pitton, SP5 1EF Tel 01722 712469 E-Mail: [email protected] ADVERTS EDITOR Tim Hawkes, Lodge Farm House, Elm Close, Pitton, SP5 1EU Tel 01722 712577 E-Mail: [email protected]
WEST DEAN WITH EAST GRIMSTEAD
LAY PASTORAL ASSISTANTS
Mrs Jenny Cotter, East Grimstead, 01722 712316
TREASURER
Ms Jane Higgins, 01794 340536
SECRETARY Gill Sowerby, 01722 712665
FARLEY WITH PITTON
LAY PASTORAL ASSISTANTS
Mrs Gill Morgan, Farley 01722 712438 Mrs Sara Bossom, Pitton 01980 611133
TREASURER Ms Mandy Kerley, 07971 679466
ORGANISTS Mr Barry Cooper, 01722 712350
Ms Janice Brown
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Pitton Methodist Society
The Pitton Methodists worship together with the Anglicans at St.
Peter's Church and have a Methodist led service there once a month
(currently the 3rd Sunday).
Minister - Susan Holden, 76a Countess Rd. Amesbury SP4 7AT
01980 623948
Steward - Mrs. Sarah Sankey 01722 712581
JULIAN MEETINGS
The Julian Meeting group meets for half an hour of silent prayer on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of each month at 2pm; there is no Julian Meeting on the 2nd Wednesday, and on the 4th Wednesday at 12.30pm the Julian group are invited to join Quaker Friends at the Meeting House in Wilton Road.
During July and August, the Julian meetings will be held at St. Peter’s Church, Pitton
If you would like further details, please contact Hilary Semmons 712556 or Sue Sinclair 712220.
PathFinders@Pitton is on July 6th
There will be a break until September when the new term starts
*** All ages of children are welcome *** For more details contact Sara Bossom on 01980 611133
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Team Letter from Rev Jane Dunlop
Dear Friends,
The centenary commemorations of the First World War begin this
year and the first date to remember is 14th August 2014, -100 years
since the outbreak of the war. Many of our Churches will be holding
services for the community to come together, to remember. It is
important to recognise that we are not celebrating or glorifying war,
we are commemorating---there is a big difference. We are
remembering those whose lives were lost and acknowledging how
life for everyone had changed in the four years of the war and
continued to change unrecognisably over the century.
To try and gain some understanding of these changes that have taken
place over the last century, I have been reading the records of a
village School that date back to 1874.
Each week the Headmaster---and it was always a Headmaster in
those days, would write a record of anything notable that had
happened in the school that week. Attendance seems to be his chief
preoccupation. He notes the numbers absent due to illness, there was
mention of influenza, impetigo, and measles. Sometimes the school
would have to close to prevent the spread of the disease. If a child
had diphtheria, or scarlet fever they would have to go to the isolation
ward. The Headmaster notes absences due to the weather,
particularly heavy rain or snow. Most children walked to school and
if they arrived soaking wet they were just sent home again as there
was nowhere to dry them off. Children were regularly absent to help
with the haymaking and the summer holiday was timed to take place
during harvest. They also had holiday time for Whitsun, for Sunday
school outings and confirmation services. The vicar attended the
school to teach scripture and the children had regular examinations in
Scripture and Religious Studies.
It was certainly very different from the primary school today. Most
children only attended one school and left at age 12 to 14, to be
employed on the farms, become an apprentice or go into service.
Very few went onto higher education. There was one girl who went
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on to get a degree at Bristol University and the school was given a
half day holiday to celebrate her achievement.
It seemed to be a much slower and gentler way of life, but one that
was not easy by any means.
I was particularly interested in the records during the war years, but
there was no mention of any of the major events that took place at
that time. No mention of the men who died, who would have
attended the school. You would not know that a war was going on
from the records. He only notes that peace celebrations took place on
21st June 1919 and so the school was closed for that holiday.
War was something that was taking place very far away and life went
on in the community as usual-so it seemed.
Today, with instant access to news through our televisions and
computers and smartphones it is very hard to envisage not knowing
what is happening in the world. That must be one of the greatest
changes that has taken place over the century, together with the
ability to travel all over the world in next to no time.
But one thing has not changed. Lives are still being shattered in
conflict. We are still concerned about warfare and we must remember
and learn from the lessons of the past. The Church services that will
take place in your village, not just this year but maybe over the next
four years, will be an opportunity to gather together to do just that.
With Love, Jane.
THANK YOU
from Christian Aid for raising £433.50 in the Dun Valley this year
Your donations will be used for their work to help people rebuild their lives after conflict
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Baptisms
Joseph Folke HORWOOD
at Holy Trinity, East Grimstead
on 25th May 2014
Evelyn Lily ROBINSON
at St Peter’s, Pitton
on 25th May 2014
Funerals
Bryan BARRASS
at St. Peter’s, Pitton
on 16th May 2014
From the registers
Gwen Gallagher
Sadly, Gwen died peacefully in Southampton General Hospital on
12th June 2014, aged 91. Gwen and her husband Tony ran the Pitton
Village Shop and Post Office from 1973 until 1990, retiring to
David’s Garden until they moved away in 2002. Funeral
arrangements had not been made at the time of going to print, but
Gwen’s son can be contacted on 07778 584367.
Thanks from the Clarks
Don and Angela Clark would like to thank everyone involved at St.
Peter's for making the wedding day of Jessica and Steve so very
special.
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Richer Thinking
So what is it that sets Napoleon Hill's book, 'Think and Grow Rich',
apart from all other books on the subject of Personal Development? For
me, the answer is simple. My thoughts become richer with each reading
of these amazing chapters. Then, reading and listening to the effect that
Napoleon's words have on others from around the world, ideas which
might never have been realised, becoming crystal clear, I can only
wonder at the power of the written word...
... continue reading at www.SP5.co.uk/tgr/2014/jun/
Interactive Community Engagement
The last chapters of Napoleon Hill's book, 'Think and Grow Rich', deal
with the human mind and how we become what we think about most of
the time. The final chapter, entitled, ‘How to Outwit the Six Ghosts of
Fear’, alerts readers to the importance of preparation by first
understanding how INDECISION, DOUBT and FEAR will directly
hamper attempts at putting the philosophy, as a whole, into practical
use…
... continue reading at www.SP5.co.uk/tgr/2014/jul/
The features on this topic which have been published in the DVN over
recent months are personal views, produced as a result of the writer’s
thoughts and feelings at the time. There is plenty of other original
content at http://30daymentalcleanse.info/index.php#16 which adds
substance and value to that printed in the DVN. These are real world
examples of how ordinary men and women are helping themselves to
become better community minded members. The writer has become
familiar with most of those who participate on the forum through the
weekly live discussions, many of which are recorded and made freely
available to all comers.
Personal growth comes through community interaction and thanks to the
power of the Internet, a person's location will not limit their ability to
participate with other like-minded people, wherever they may live...
Richard Parsons, West Dean
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Pitton Primary School
We are delighted to report that we received a GOOD with
OUTSTANDING features from our OFSTED inspection and an
OUTSTANDING from our SIAMS inspection. Both reports were really
positive and highlighted the hard work of staff, governors and pupils in
making our school so special. If anyone would like a copy of either report
then please look at our website (www.pitton.wilts.sch.uk) or come into the
office to pick up a copy. As I write this we are preparing for our final
inspection for our Artsmark award which will take place tomorrow.
We have been welcoming our new reception class intake into school over
the last couple of weeks and it has been wonderful getting to know the new
children and their families. We look forward to them starting school with
us in September. At the other end of the school, our Year 6 leavers are
beginning to prepare for their next exciting step as they move on to
secondary school as they go on induction days at their new schools and
work towards completing their leavers book. We wish them all the best for
the future.
We look forward to seeing many of you at our Art Exhibition on Thursday
26th June from 6pm – 7.30pm or Friday 27th June between 9am – 10.30am.
Wiltshire Citizens Advice
As expected with so many things changing we are needed more than
ever. So we are looking for people to join us as a volunteer. We are
particularly looking for people to be the first point of contact for people
who are facing a difficult issue, need advice or information to resolve
their problems. We are also looking for receptionists and administrators.
We will provide training and support. You need to be a good listener and
willing to learn and pass on information.
In return we will offer you quality training, a supportive team of
colleagues and a chance to influence policy making and make a
difference.
Volunteering can be hugely rewarding. As well as helping people from
your community, many volunteers gain valuable skills and go on to
finding employment in the advice sector.
If you have one day a week to offer please contact us:
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Brownies and Guides
The Brownies had a wonderful weekend at Knook Camp as part of
their Big Brownie Birthday celebrations. They had the chance to try
circus skills in the ‘fun’ zone, got very wet in the ‘wet & wild’ zone,
made chocolate truffles in the ‘cooking’ zone and created fabulous
outfits from recycled items in the ‘fashion’ zone. In the evening they
joined the other Brownies for a campfire before bed. The final event
in the Big Brownie Birthday calendar will be a trip to Wincanton
Racecourse in early July to take part in ZOOOM – an out of this
world adventure! We can’t wait to see what we will try this time!!
This month in the unit the Brownies have created items for Father’s
Day, played a rabbit rescue wide game (in the rain!), made a
scarecrow for the village carnival and tried pond dipping at Bentley
Woods. Our final weeks this term will see them orienteering and
having a picnic amongst other things before a well-earned rest!
The Guides have been working on their Go-For-It Take Your
Toothbrush which has involved a tent competition, painting a pillow
case and a sleepover in tents at the Village Hall. The sleepover was
a fantastic event with a fun and friendship theme and included a
party-themed wide game, a campfire with marshmallows, a water
fight in PJs and lots of chat!
Next month the Guides will be visiting Cotswold Outdoor to learn all
about outdoor kit and having a French evening and a Onesies party
during the last 2 weeks of term. We can’t wait until the August
Bank Holiday weekend when 9 of the Guides plus 2 leaders will be
off to ‘Wellies & Wristbands’ festival camp in the New Forest.
Don’t forget to come and join us for our celebrations as part of
PITTON CARNIVAL WEEK:
The Guides will be holding a worm-charming evening on Monday
30th June at 7pm behind Pitton Village Hall. See the worm-charming
rules in the carnival letters!
The Brownies will be running Carnival BINGO on Tuesday 1st July
at 6pm in Pitton Village Hall. Come and join us for a Full House!
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St Winfrid’s, East Dean
Arts and Flower Festival – 12-13 July
As part of the Romsey Festival, St Winfrid’s Church, East Dean will
be hosting a varied series of events on 12/13 July to raise money for
church funds. The ancient church itself, renowned for its charm and
intimacy, will be the venue for a Flower Festival on a theme of
“Summertime”
A highlight of the weekend will be a programme of music and
entertainment in the church on the Saturday evening at 7:30 pm by
“Pocket Theatre”, a small group of highly talented local performers –
Tickets £10, including refreshments!
Throughout the weekend, the gardens of Tudor House will be open
(10am to 5pm) and there will be local arts and crafts on display and
for sale.
Tea and cakes will be served!
Tickets for the concert are available from Tony Bell (01794
341228) and Pat Rawlings (01794 341107). Book early as spaces
are limited!
How best to help your child do well at school
Do you want to deliver your child to school in the morning in the best
possible frame of mind to learn? Then tell your child that you love
him/her every day, and stop shouting/swearing at them when they
annoy you. Instead, listen to them, praise them for their
achievements, and do all that you can to make your home a calm,
healthy and safe place for your child to grow up. It is not rocket
science: calm, happy children do better at school than stressed,
unhappy ones.
This guidance comes from the National Association of Head
Teachers and the charity Family Action. It also advises ensuring a
healthy diet for your child, ensuring they learn proper personal
hygiene, taking them out as a ‘family’, and also making sure they get
enough vigorous exercise each day.
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We would like to invite new members to join our Club.
Great Value:
£15 pa. for a Single Membership! Reduced price of £25 pa. for a Family Membership!
Call Sara on 01980 611133 or e-mail [email protected]
The Royal British Legion Alderbury, Whaddon, E & W Grimstead, Farley and Pitton Branch.
Mr David Chilton and Mr Norman Thorne. The opening phase of World War 1
The British Expeditionary Force, the Wiltshire Regiment, Mons
and the effect of the war on our local community
31 July 2014 - 6.30pm for 7.00pm Alderbury Village Hall
Refreshments and Licensed Bar
£5.00
Tickets from John Wilson 01722 712712 [email protected]
Alan Shaw 01722 712607 [email protected] and on the door
WORLD WAR 1 COMMEMORATION
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Crossword No. 20
Across 8 Academic who studies history of
one of Israel’s perennial enemies
(13)
9 Take to court (Matthew 5:40) (3)
10 Absence of guilt (1 Kings 8:32)
(9)
11 Of Tim (anag.) (5)
13 Deprive priest of ecclesiastical
status (7)
16 Where Paul and Barnabas called
en route from Perga to Antioch
(Acts 14:25–26) (7)
19 ‘The earth is the — , and
everything in it’ (Psalm 24:1) (5)
22 ‘Do not neglect your gift, which
was given you through a —message
when the body of elders laid their
hands on you’ (1 Timothy 4:14) (9)
24 Raincoat (abbrev.) (3)
25 Issue relating to sexual ethics
dealt with in the controversial
Papal Encyclical Humanae Vitae
in 1968(13)
Down
1 ‘The Son of Man did not come to
be served, but to serve, and to give
his life as a — for many’
(Matthew 20:28) (6)
2
3 ‘God blessed them and said to
them, “Be — and increase in
number”’ (Genesis 1:28) (8)
4
5
6
7 Takers (anag.) (6)
12 ‘But the things that come — of
the mouth come from the heart, and
these make a man “unclean”’
(Matthew 15:18) (3)
14 ‘Then I set bowls — of wine and
some — before the men of the
Recabite family’ (Jeremiah 35:5)
(4,4)
15
16
17 The seed which fell among these
was choked by them as it grew (Luke
8:7) (6)
18 Launch an assault against
(Genesis 14:15) (6)
20 ‘Neither can you bear fruit unless
you - in me’ (John 15:4) (6)
21 John says of the healing of the
royal official’s son, ‘This was the —
miraculous sign that Jesus
performed’ (John 4:54) (6)
23 Inflict pain on (Acts 7:26) (4)
13
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CLASSIC CABS YOUR LOCAL CABBY IS
KEITH BATH TEL 01722 710111
AIRPORTS. BUSINESS.
SOCIAL TRAVEL.
DISABLED FACILITIES.
PLUMBING AND DRAINAGE
GEORGE JUDD
East Farm, Winterbourne Gunner
Salisbury SP4 6EE
01980 610576 / 611828
Chair caning, porcelain repair,
leather work, upholstery
CHRIS GILBY
CMG TILING Ceramic & Porcelain Wall & Floor Tiling
Fully insured, professional service - competitive prices
Tel: 07879696986 [email protected]
www.cmg-tiling.co.uk
Contact direct or through Chris Emden: 01722 712780
Equine Acupuncture
and Chiropractic
Is your horse stiff or sore?
For a consultation phone
Sue Devereux MRCVS 01722 712802 or 07866 431888
www.equineacupuncture.co.uk
Plumbing Heating
Blocked Drains/Toilets/Sinks Bathroom/Kitchen installation
All Work Fully Guaranteed 25 Years Experience
Free Quotes
PLEASE CALL DAVID 01725 512645 / 07818 046222
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J. MATTHIAE & CO LTD.
CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT
CHARTERED TAX ADVISER
Financial accounts prepared
Payroll and PAYE services
Value Added Tax
Personal & corporate tax returns
Taxation advice
JUDITH MATTHIAE ACA CTA
Hebron, Middleton, Winterslow
Tel: 01980 863494
PETER NIGHTINGALE Garden and Landscape Service
Hard Landscape Specialist
Patios, Paths, Steps, Garden Walls, Pergolas, Arches, Trellis work and Gates
Turfing and beds prepared for planting.
Ponds, Palisade and Sleeper Walls. Shed bases and Sheds erected.
Timber decking.
OVERGROWN GARDENS CLEARED AND TIDIED.
GENERAL GARDEN MAINTENANCE.
DESIGNS AND IDEAS.
General Property Maintenance.
TEL. 01980 862285
Brian Riches
Property Maintenance
Phone: 01794 340150
Mobile: 07789 585257
Email:
Why not try me for all your
Maintenance needs.
Over 25 years Experience
Oil Boiler Service & Breakdowns
Oil Tank Replacements
***EMERGENCY CALLOUT***
*Complete Bathroom Refits inc tiling*
*Showers supplied and repaired*
*Washers & Dishwashers installed*
*Leaks fixed*
***NO JOB TOO SMALL!!!***
P W PEARCE
CARPENTER & JOINER
Fitted kitchens & wardrobes
Replacement doors &
windows
Wood laminate flooring
Fencing
Tel- (evenings) 01980 862264
Barbara Heil MCSP SRP Grad Dip Phys
Maple Hill
Physiotherapy Clinic
Experienced in treating back, neck and
joint pain and sports injuries.
Electrotherapy, joint mobilization, massage and rehabilitation programmes.
Trained in Acupuncture techniques.
Registered with healthcare insurers
Daytime and evening appointments
Contact 01980 862862
The Flashett, Winterslow
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emailitis.com
IT support (remote & on-
site)
Virus removal
Broadband
Web design & hosting
Security cameras
Call us: 01722 770004
Email: [email protected]
Mike Chambers
Cabinet maker & Joiner
Design, Manufacture, to
your requirements
Tel : 01980 610651
Mobile: 07763 803508
Not VAT Registered
mikechambersjoinery.co.uk
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Mark Brazendale
Oil Boiler
Service & Maintenance
01980 862591
07917 415383
OFTEC registered
All Aspects of Professional Tree Work Undertaken.
Fully Insured & Work to BS.3998
Fully Qualified & Experienced
Stumps ground out
N.D. Arb / NPTC Certificated
Tel: West Dean 01794 340610
Mobile: 07810 342750
BORDER SERVICE STATION @ Lopcombe Corner
A Family Garage Providing
Quality Repairs & MOT
At Competitive Prices
Tel 01980 862378
www.phipson.co.uk
Changing your Car
We Have Just What You Want
www.needasmallcar.com
01722 712854
www.farleyflowers.co.uk
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for all your garden requirements
For a free, no pressure quote On regular or one-off work
Call: 01794 340977
UPVC Fascias, Soffits Bargeboards and Guttering 20 years guarantee on white 10 years guarantee on guttering 10 years guarantee on labour Free quotation
TEL 01722 331901
Robert Amor Architectural Consultant
Listed buildings/conservation New build & extensions Conversions Domestic & commercial Full design/planning service Office:- 01722- 712825
Home:- 01722- 712263
Mobile:- 07765 414757
“Outstanding” OFSTED
An exciting, stimulating environment.
Pitton Village Hall.
Please call in to see us, or ring Carrie
07785 933966 for more information.
www.pittonpreschool.com
EMMERS O N
HOME IMPROVEMENTS
New Bathrooms & Kitchens
Floor & Wall Tiling Interior & Exterior Decoration Plumbing & Building Works
Telephone 01722 412983
Mobile 07984 889835
MARK
THE SILVER PLOUGH
WHITE HILL, PITTON
Sunday lunch served all day 12 noon until 8pm
* New Menus * WiFi throughout * Traditional Skittles Alley for Private Parties * Accommodation
Monday – Saturday: 12-3pm and 6-11pm Sunday: 12 – 9.30pm
Call us on 01722 712266
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PAS - Professional Accountancy &
Secretary Service
Bookkeeping, Payroll, VAT returns, CIS Returns, Year-end Returns
All Office Administration Undertaking. Contact: Polly Wallis
Mobile: 07733364604 Or email: [email protected]
Norman Court School &
Montessori Day Nursery
Activity Club – 14th July- 29th Aug. -bushcraft, sport, art & craft
Sports Academies – 4th - 15th Aug. -tennis, tag-rugby, swimming, football
01980 863997 www.normancourt.org
Wood Burners Sale and installation
of wood/multifuel
stoves.
Chimney Lining.
Servicing.
Frenchmoor Country Stoves
01794 340246
UK’s 2nd Best Small
Estate Agency
Salisbury: (01722) 415 141
Colin Macintyre Picture Framer
------------ A quality bespoke service
at an affordable price -----------
For a free estimate : tel: 01794 342080
email: [email protected] web: www.cmpf.co.uk
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EAST GRIMSTEAD READING ROOM
JUMBLE SALE SAT. JULY 19TH 2.00PM
ADMISSION 20Ps IN CONJUNCTION WITH VILLAGE FETE AUG 30TH Donations can be brought to the Reading Room
on the day 19/7/14 between 9.00am- 12noon or delivered to
Shamba (01722 712251) during the previous week
Beware the internet
This summer, beware of letting your children spend too much time
on the internet. There is very real concern that spending more than
four hours a day online can lead to children developing mental health
problems, while less amounts of time in front of a computer can also
cause issues.
The warning comes from Public Health England, which issues
guidelines to the NHS. It warns that children could face social
problems such as loneliness, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem
and heightened aggression as a result of too much time on the
internet.
One in ten children now has a mental health problem, and a third of
teenagers say they feel ‘low, sad or down’ at least once a week.
More alarmingly, some 750,000 teenagers think things are so
desperate in their lives that they have ‘nothing to live for’.
Public Health England’s report puts it this way: “The evidence
suggests a ‘dose-response’ relationship, where each individual hour
of viewing increases children’s likelihood of experiencing socio-
economic problems, and the risk of lower self-esteem.”
23
And now a few gems from Air Traffic Control:
Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles.”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”
-------------
“TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.”
“Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”
“Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”
-------------
A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after
touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: “American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the
runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway
101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”
--------------
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the
active runway while a DC-8 landed.
The DC-8 landed, rolled out turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, “What a
cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?”
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
“I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts
for another one.”
-----------------
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing
for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at the US air crew, screaming:
“US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie
taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you
to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!”
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:
“God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You
stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi
instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you,
when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?”
“Yes, ma'am,” the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the
verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate
ground controller in her current state of mind.
Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking,
“Wasn't I married to you once?”
24
PITTON FILM NIGHT
A Showing of
“Pitton Events” and
“Saving Mr Banks”
Pitton Village Hall 26 September 2014
Doors open 7.0 pm
Licensed Bar and Light Buffet Supper
Adults £7.00
Tickets from: Chris & Jane Emden, David & Carole
Flint, Alan Shaw, Leonie Cobey,
Peter Shepherd, Pauline Hawkes
That blonde again
A blonde airline passenger with an Economy Class ticket sat down in
First Class and refused to move. The stewardess consulted the
Captain who said “I have a blonde girlfriend - I know what to do -
leave it to me”. He went into the cabin and whispered into the
passenger's ear whereupon she leapt up and rushed out of First Class.
When asked what he had whispered he said he told her that the part
of the plane she was sitting in was not going to her destination.
25
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Friends of Bentley Wood
Forthcoming Events
Sun 6 July 2014 A Morning of Marvellous Moths. Be par t
of National Moth Night and see the amazing variety
caught overnight and marvel at the shapes, sizes, colours
and names! Optional mid-morning butterfly walk (with
white-letter hairstreak possible). Tea, coffee and biscuits
provided. Meet at the Barn at 9.30 am, morning only.
Sun 3 August 2014 Butterfly Safari. Walk the 1.5 mile
Hawksgrove butterfly transect and look for white admiral,
silver-washed fritillary and maybe even purple emperor
among the 15 or so species possible. Meet at 10.30 am by
the car park on Howe Farm track, morning only.
Trout’n About
Stockbridge’s local food festival takes place annually on the first
Sunday of August. It showcases the best of local food, local produce
and local crafts, in a family friendly, outdoor market environment.
Trout’n About is set on the beautiful, historic high street of the
market town of Stockbridge, Hampshire. With the river Test flowing
under the high street our festival is named after one of the things the
Test Valley is renowned for – Trout!
Trout’n About, Sun 3 August, 10am-4pm, free parking and entry, 110
stalls of local food, crafts and produce, live music,
www.tnastockbridge.co.uk
WHIST DRIVES - PITTON VILLAGE HALL
3rd Wednesday in the month at 7.30 pm
Next one on 16th July
27
28
A recent French press conference
François Hollande est dans un spot de bother. Il est dans un pickle.
Franchement, il est dans l’eau chaud. Selon un magazine français, le
président a been having une affaire très steamy avec une femme improbably
belle. Et hier, slap bang dans le middle de cette scandale, il devait give un
grand press conference. Quel luck rotten!
Mais il y avait un peu de bon news pour le pauvre homme: il est français. Et
les français, apparently, ne care pas about les affaires steamy. En fait, un
nouveau poll shows que depuis la scandale broke, le président a become
plus populaire! En France, vous voyez, c’est seulement une scandale si un
homme n’a pas une affaire.
À Paris, le press conference était complètement packed. En Angleterre, les
journalistes anglais ont regardé l’action à la télévision. Ils n’ont pas pu wait
to écouter le gossip juicy about l’homme important et son bit sur le side.
En fin, le président – un petit fellow qui apparently a seulement un pair de
chaussures – est arrivé. Pour once, il n’a pas porter son motorcycle helmet.
Sans further ado, il a commencé parler about l'économie. Il a parlé about it
pour un très long temps. Cinq minutes, dix minutes, vingt minutes, trente
minutes – tout sour l’économie!
C’était tout terribly intéressant, mais je n’ai pas pu help but feel qu’il y avait
un éléphant dans la salle.
Mais still il a continué de parler about l’économie, et le banking, et le social
security, et so on et so on. Zut alors! Monsieur le Président certainement
avait beaucoup à dire about sujets that a rien to do avec le hot shagging.
“Je suis desolé pour going into such detail,” a dit le président. Il est such un
tease.
Finalement il a fini parler about son dratted économie. Donc! C’était temps
pour some questions about les sujets plus importants, such as le hanky-
panky! Naughty Monsieur le Président a been jouer au Cachez le Saucisse!
Les journalistes français would avoir beaucoup de choses à dire about ça!
“Excusez-moi, Monsieur le Président,” a dit un petit journaliste, très
politely, “mais pouvez-vous possiblement tell nous, si ce n’est pas trop
much trouble, qui at le moment est la ‘Première Femme’?”
“Non, je ne jolly well could pas,” a dit le président.
Et ça, apparently, était ça. Pas de further questions sur le rumpy-pumpy.
Les journalistes français just voulaient to ask about le silly économie. Quel
waste de temps ça was.
©Daily Telegraph
29
For the latest information on what’s
happening in
Pitton or Farley, see:
www.pittonandfarley.co.uk
Photos, news and details of upcoming events welcome: [email protected]
Crossword No. 20
solution
Your working week
What is the most contented moment of your week? 6:08 on a Friday
evening – just after you ‘step into’ the weekend. What is the moment
of your week when you are most fed up with your boss and job?
1.42pm on a Monday.
Such were the recent findings of Citizens Advice Bureau, which did
some research into how people get through their working week. An
analysis of when people are most likely to turn to the charity to get
advice on their rights in the marketplace found that the demand peaks
early on a Monday afternoon. In the past year, more than half a
million people have sought advice on bullying, wages and other rights
in the workplace.
30
A load of old incense
I don’t go to Mass very often, but this one promised to be special,
and it was. There is a daily congregation of over one thousand
people for the midday service in the Catedral del Apóstol in Santiago
de Compostela, Galicia, Northern Spain. The service is a reward for
the pilgrims (peregrinos) who have completed the walk to celebrate
Santiago, and features the largest incense burner in the world.
The history is based on the legend of the apostle St. James, who was
beheaded by Herod Agrippa in Jerusalem. Two followers of St.
James took his body away and let Providence guide them on a
miraculous sea voyage to Spain, where he was already known as
Santiago. There, Queen Lupa ordered the followers to be taken to the
local Roman governor who put them in prison. But an angel freed
them and returned them to Queen Lupa, who was so impressed by
their return that she allowed Santiago to be buried, with a small
mausoleum to mark the spot. This became forgotten until AD813
when a hermit rediscovered the tomb with the help of a supernatural
light.
Santiago then became much more of a legend, his spirit appearing on
battlefields where he cut down Moors by the score, becoming known
as Santiago Matamoros (St. James the Moor-slayer). Thereafter he
became an important symbol for Spanish Christians, who began
pilgrimages from all over Europe. There are long distance footpaths
from France, Portugal, and all corners of Spain, the most popular
being the Camino Frances which begins on the French border at St
Jean-Pied-de-Port, although some would say further into France at Le
Puy-en-Velay.
I only walked the last 120km (about 75 miles) of the camino. Some
did less, others considerably more. I met a 70-year-old American
who had walked alone for four weeks, and a young couple who had
cycled from Amsterdam.
If you would like to see my amateur video of the spectacular
swinging incense burner, the botafumeiro, have a look on the internet
- http://youtu.be/BoqlpkLA1YA (yes, I know, but don’t blame me,
Youtube generated the address).
31
IMPORTANT NOTICE
The Editor and Dun Valley News Committee accept NO responsibility for the accuracy of articles, reports or
advertisements printed in the magazine, and their inclusion does not necessarily imply agreement with
their content.
32
FORTHCOMING EVENTS
JULY
2nd 10.30am Farley Coffee Shop Village Hall
2nd 2.00pm Julian Meeting St Peters, Pitton
2nd 8.00pm Quizgo, for the Stars Appeal (Chris Ewington) Silver Plough
5th 4.00pm Pitton Carnival “Cops and Robbers” Village Hall Field
6th 11.00am Pathfinders@Pitton
6th 3.00pm East Grimstead Garden Tea Party Oakwood House
6th 9.30am Friends of Bentley Wood Morning of Marvellous Moths The Barn
8th Pitton Social Club Visit to Edmonsham House & Gardens
9th 7.30pm Pitton & Farley Parish Council PittonVillage Hall
12th 7.30pm East Dean Pocket Theatre St Winfrid’s
16th 7.30pm Pitton Whist Drive Village Hall
18th 7.00pm Farley & Pitton Fashion Show Winterslow Village Hall
19th 2.00pm East Grimstead Jumble Sale Reading Room
21st 7.30pm West Grimstead Play Reading Group Drove Farm House, W Dean
31st 6.30pm Royal British Legion WW1 Commemoration Alderbury VH
AUGUST
1st 7.00pm Pitton Social Club Charity Buffet Supper Village Hall
3rd 10.00am Stockbridge Food Festival Trout’n About
3rd 10.30am Friends of Bentley Wood Butterfly Safari Howe Farm Track
14th 11.15am Pitton Social Club Theatre Trip Watermill, Newbury
15th Deadline for copy submission for September DVN
20th 7.30pm Pitton & Farley Parish Council Farley Village Hall
20th 7.30pm Pitton Whist Drive Village Hall
SEPTEMBER
3rd 10.30am Farley Coffee Shop Village Hall
6th 4.00pm Friends of Bentley Wood Autumn Walk The Barn
17th 7.30pm Pitton Whist Drive Village Hall
26th 7.00pm Pitton Film Night Saving Mr Banks Village Hall
For the August services rota, please look at your church notice boards, or on the
Clarendon Team website.
