PLAY- Kalyug ki Mahabharata

Characters Played by

Director/Writer

Narrator/Darban

Dhritrashtra

Bodygaurd

Shakuni Boiler Mama

Duryodhan

Dusashan/Music Director

Yudhisthir

Arjun

Bheem

Draupadi

Shaktimaan

Scene-1

Narrator- Main Bigboss hoon. Pichle 5000saalon se yeh kaam kar karke thak chukka hoon. Par thakne se kaam nahi chalega. Vishraam bahut hi buri cheez hoti hai. Maine apni in ankhon se bahut sare mahabharat hote hue dekhe hai. har saal koi na koi mahabharat banti rehti hai jo apne aap mein anokhi hoti hai. Ye kahani hai san 2012 ki , jab kaurav aur pandavon k beech me ek bidding process chal raha hai, raja k pad k liye.

Narrator- Ba-adab Badbudar Bematlab k Shahensha.. Dritrashtra Padhar rahe hain……..

Music- jodha akbar movie + Black

Dritrashtra enter.

Dritrashatra- Lagta hai barf padne wali hai.?

Got Slipped. Chasma gir jata hai. Aur wo dhundne lagta hai… sab akhbaar pad rahe hote hain aur ek dam se dekhte hain kya hua..?

One by one- ye to inka roz ka kaam hai.. kuch lete kyun nai?

Aur sab wapas akhbar padne lagte hai

Scene-2

Bodygaurd entry ,

music-Bodygaurd

Dritrashtra- arey gandhari ye tumhare haath itne patle kaise ho gaye… 2mhare gaalon pe itne baal kaise aur ye 2mhare hoth…?

Bodygaurd- arey sardar, main gandhari nai, main apka bodyguard hun.

Dritrashtra- chi.. uaak..

Bodygaurd uthata hai dritrashtra ko aur kursi pe bithata hai.

Dritrashtra (thodi der ruk k)-- itna sannata kyun hai bhai..? bodygaird zara hume b batao kya ho raha hai?

Bodygaurd- Sardar.. Yahan pe apke suputra & party Femina naamak magazine pad rahe hai. 2sri taraf pandav log Know your power namak kitab pad rahe hain…

Dhritrashtra- ye Femina namak pustak se to hum wakif hain.. apni jawani k dino me bahut padi hai .. par ye know your power kya hai?

Bodygaurd- Ye ek aisi kitab hai.. jisme is khel k niyam aur kanoon likhe hain

Dritrashtra- are wah… itni kaam ki kitab aur humse padni reh gayi..?

Shakuni MAMA- Jija shri… ye baatein to hoti rahegi… lets start the karyakram..

Bhanje.. zara pheko to pasa. .aur shuru karo ye khel.

Yudhisthir-- thehro… pehle toss hoga… chit ayi to hum pehle challenge.. pat ayi to tum bad me chalna.

Duryodhan--- Kyun yudhisthir tumne humko kya bewakoof samaj rakha hai… Chit ayi to hum bad me challenge aur pat ayi to tum pehle.

Arjun—haan aisa hi hoga… kyun bhaiyon

Other pandav—Ok Done dana dan.

Scene-3

Narrator- iske baad har baar ki tarah bidding process shuru hoti hai kaurav Cobras aur Torrent pandavs kebeech. aur har baar ki tarah Pandav hi jeette hai…. aur firse woh paasa fekhne ki liye taiiyar hote hai. chausad ka khel prarambh hota hai. aur har baar ki tarah is baar bhi pandav haarte hue nazar aate hai…

Music- IPL tone

Kaurav- Yes.. yeah…

Pandav- Oh no.. shit..

Narrator-- kaurav jeet rahe hain har chal.. aur pandav haar rahe hain.. pata nahi, aur kitni sadiyo se pandav harte hi rahenge…unki team selection mein zarur kuch gadbadi rehti hai. apni galti kabhi bhi nahi sudarte hai…

Meanwhile khel ki acting chalegi..

Dhritrshtra- Arey bodyguard kya ho raha hai yahan pe hume b batao.?

Bodygaurd- Sardar yahan pe aapke suputra jeet raha hain.

Dhritrshtra- wah wah.. carryyyy oooon.

duryodhan- ab yeh 2mhari akhri chal hai.. 2m apna UMPP, captive coal block aur apna hydro plant to har chuke ho.. Ab kya daav pe lagaoge..

Yudhistir- ab humare pass dav pe lagane ko kuch nai hai..

Shankuni—kyun Mazak karte ho bhanje.. abhi b 2mhare pass ek cheez hai…

Bheem( angry)---aaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Arjun- bhaiya dialogue bolo apna.

Bheem- wahe guru ki saud… dudh mangoge to kheer denge.. Kashmir mangoge to cheer denge. Daru mangoge to saath me baith k pee lenge…. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Shakuni (darte hue)--- Shaant hoja bheem.. emotional mat ho…main to 2sri cheez ki baat kar raha tha..

Duryodhan---mama shree main apka ishara samajh gaya… aap draupadi ki baat kar rahe hain na..

Shakuni--- wah bhanje..hw intelligent.

Bheem (angry)—balwant rai k kutton

Music- kutton wala—pyar ka punchnama

Bheem continue- 2mne agar meri patni ki taraf aankh utha k b dekha to main teri ankh nikal k gotiyan khelunga gotiyan…

Narrator- Bigboss chahte hai ke Draupadi ko daav pe lagaya jai.

Duryodhan—agar agla daav tum jeete to mera pura samrajya tumhara. Saath me jo humne jeeta wo b wapas.. aur hare to hare..DPA ya No DPA?

all- ye DPA DPA kya hai? repeat

Bodygaurd- DPA matlab Draupadi Purchase Agreement

Other pandavs- Bhaiya.. ye ladki humare haath se jaane nai chaiye.

Shakuni- bolo DPA bhanje.

Yudhisthir--- humka kuch samajh nai awat hai.. humka Sarat manzoor hai.

Narrator- har baar ki tarah Yudhisthir fir se har jata hai..

Kaurav- Yes.. yeah…

Pandav- Oh no.. shit..

Duryodhan—bulao draupadi ko…

Bodygaurd- chote sardar wo ready ho rahi hain abi..

Duryodhan—we are getting late. Jaldi bulao.

SCENE-4

Bodygaurd comes with draupadi

Music- hawa hawai

Dusashan- aaoooo…

Shakuni- let start the program guyz.

Cheerharan starts

Dusashan- hahahaa

Draupadi- chod mujhe… janne do.. nahi….

Dono thakna shuru ho jate hain.

Draupadi- time please

Music Kyun thak rahe ho..

Dritrashtra- main ab aur nai dekh sakta..

Yudhisthir-ae uncle, aap andhe hain.

Dritrashtra- main apni mann ki aankhon se dekh raha hun.

Shakuni- agey bado JiJa shri main aapke sath hun..

Duryodhan- nai pitashri ye to pura ho k rahega..

Scene-5

Narrator- Dushasan draupadi ka vastrharan karte rehte hai… aur hum ab climax ki taraf bhi pahuch rahe hai…….

Meanwhile Draupadi & dusashan continuing

Ladai hone lagti hai.

Shaktimaan music

Shaktimaan- tehero… ruko…… ladai ladai maaf karo…apna apna kaam karo..

Everyone (accept Draupadi, Dritrashtra & Bodyguard)– Sorry Shakti maan.

Music- hai handsome hai handsome, 2jhme rab dikta hai yaara main kya karu.

Draupadi duarte hue jati hai shaktimaan k paas.

Draupadi- wah kitna sona munda hai.. main to isi k saath jaungi.

Shaktimaan- uhm ahem uhm ahem.. (jee lalchane ki acting)……… Aaaoo priye main tumhe baga k le chalta hun… kas k pakadna

Draupadi- chodna nai..

Aur shaktimaan usey le k udd jata hai..

Sab khade hote hai.. Rotey hue..

END Music- Wo chali wo chali…

Narrator- aur yeh thee apni kalyug ki mahabharat kuch alag andaz mein. Main fir lautunga, agle season.. mahabharat ka naya episode leke… tab tak intezaar karte rahiye. Mujhe mat bhoolna…main Bigboss hoon.

Music

1. Akbar movie title track

2. Black movie title track

3. Bodygaurd title track- 1st song

4. IPL

5. Kutta- pyar ka punchnama

6. Bijli girane main hun ayi.. kehte hain mujhko hawa hawai

7. Kyun thak rahe ho

8. Shaktimaan fast version with bijli

9. Hai handsome hai Handsome + 2jme rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karu.

10. Kas k pakadna chodna nai

11. Wo chali wo chali