Keep the faith national adoption week supplement

ISSUE 1 NOV 2014Britain’s

leading Black community-

focused publication promoting and

supporting faith and family

values

MON 3RD - SUN 9TH NOVEMBER 2014

NATIONAL ADOPTION WEEK SPECIAL ISSUE

inside...What is adoption?Becoming an Adopter; step by step guide Families of Faith Success story: Just one enquiry

“It’s a must read for every Christian.

The magazine keeps you abreast from the best

perspective and is a great resource for ministry.”

“I would encourage churches and individuals to support this endeavour

by taking out a subscription. Keep The Faith is a great

inspirational read.”

“Just a few lines tocongratulate you on theexcellent magazine you

produce and the high standardsyou are setting. Keep the Faith

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Earn money for your church, ministry or organisation with Keep The Faith magazineOne publication no church can afford to be withoutis Keep The Faith magazine, Britain’s leading Blackcommunity-focused publication promoting andsupporting faith and family values

This enlightening read provides inspiring news, features, interviews and thoughtprovoking commentary from a Christian perspective.

You can get Keep The Faith magazine delivered directly to your church or homeby taking out an subscription.

Church subscriptionThe cost is just £1 per magazine (minimum order 20 mags). You can decidewhether you want to give away the magazine or you can sell them for the coverprice of £2.95. For an investment of just £80 per issue, you could make £156per issue, that’s £1,560 a year - money that could be used to pay a utility bill,fund a ministry or be donated to your favourite charity.

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Bishop Brown - Former National Overseer, NTCG

“It’s a must read for every Christian.

The magazine keeps you abreast from the best

perspective and is a great resource for ministry.”

“I would encourage churches and individuals to support this endeavour

by taking out a subscription. Keep The Faith is a great

inspirational read.”

“Just a few lines tocongratulate you on theexcellent magazine you

produce and the high standardsyou are setting. Keep the Faith

is a must read for me.”

Earn money for your church, ministry or organisation with Keep The Faith magazineOne publication no church can afford to be withoutis Keep The Faith magazine, Britain’s leading Blackcommunity-focused publication promoting andsupporting faith and family values

This enlightening read provides inspiring news, features, interviews and thoughtprovoking commentary from a Christian perspective.

You can get Keep The Faith magazine delivered directly to your church or homeby taking out an subscription.

Church subscriptionThe cost is just £1 per magazine (minimum order 20 mags). You can decidewhether you want to give away the magazine or you can sell them for the coverprice of £2.95. For an investment of just £80 per issue, you could make £156per issue, that’s £1,560 a year - money that could be used to pay a utility bill,fund a ministry or be donated to your favourite charity.

Individual annual subscriptionHave Keep The Faith delivered directly to your home • £25 (UK) • £37 (overseas)

For more information contact [email protected] or subscribe online at www.keepthefaith.co.uk

KTF Advert 2_Layout 1 12/07/2014 19:35 Page 1

Keep The Faith LimitedSuite 48, 88-90 Hatton GardenLondon EC1N 8PNTel: 0845 193 4433

Publisher: Shirley McGreal [email protected]

Design: Becky [email protected]

Twitter: @keepthefaithmagwww.keepthefaith.co.uk

The Publisher would like to thank: Josie McFarlane, Ian Thomas, Chris Burton, Emma Owen, First4Adoption, BAAF, PACT and all our advertisers and all our supporters. The opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the Publisher

R

Adoption is a way of providing new families for children who cannot be brought up by their biological parents. For some children adoption

may be their only chance of experiencing family life.

It is a legal procedure in which all parental responsibility is transferred to the adopters. Once an adoption has been granted, it cannot be reversed and the child becomes a member of the adoptive family, taking that family’s surname and being given the same rights and privileges as if they had been a birth child of the family.

Who can adopt a child?You may be able to adopt a child if you’re aged 21 or over (there’s no upper age limit) and either:• single• married• in a civil partnership• an unmarried couple • the partner of the child’s parent

There are different rules for private adoptions and adoptions of looked-after children.

Living in the UKYou don’t have to be a British citizen to

adopt a child, but:• you (or your partner, if you’re a couple) must have a fixed and permanent home in the UK, Channel Islands or the Isle of Man• you (and your partner, if you’re a couple) must have lived in the UK for at least 1 year before you begin the application process

Early stages of adoptionTo adopt a child you can go through either:• an adoption agency that’s part of your local council• a voluntary adoption agency

The adoption processContact an adoption agency - they’ll send you information about the adoption process. The agency will arrange to meet you - you may also be invited to a meeting with other people wanting to adopt a child.

If you and the agency agree to carry on, the agency will give you an application form. The adoption approval process normally takes around 6 months. You will then be matched with a child for adoption. Source https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/overview

Every child deserves the best start in life and a loving home. There are many children in care that need loving families. Could you adopt?

What is adoption?

www.keepthefaith.co.uk 03

National Adoption Week has gone from strength to strength, reaching people across the UK wanting to know if they can adopt.

This year’s National Adoption Week is focussing on siblings. Those of us lucky enough to have brothers and sisters know how special the relationship between siblings can be.

Of course, not every adopter is able to adopt more than one child and there are also many single children who need to be adopted, but we ask anyone who thinks they could become a parent to a child or children through adoption, please take that first step and find out more. BAAF

step by stepBecoming an adopter:

Finding out if adoption is right for you can be difficult so we’ve prepared the following guide to help you make those first steps. We will show you how to choose an adoption agency and give you ideas on what questions you might want to ask to help you make the right decisions along the way.

Am I eligible?✔

Take our interactive test to find out

Many more people can apply to adopt a child than you might realise. If you are single; unmarried; aged over 40; gay or straight; actively practising religion; unemployed; renting your home; married or in a civil partnership; or if you have a disability. You can adopt a child from a different ethnic background to you own. Take the test (www.first4adoption.org.uk/first-steps-intro) or call the First4Adoption information line (0300 222 0022) to find out if you can apply.

Is Adoption Right For Me? This can be the hardest thing to decide and to

help you reach this decision we’ve compiled the following checklist.

✔ Talk to people

You’d be surprised how many people have adoption stories to share

✔ Read about Adopters real life experiences

It’s a good idea to read widely (bit.ly/13CogrI) about adoption, especially about other people’s experiences (www.first4adoption.org.uk/who-can-adopt/success-stories), when starting to think about whether adoption is the right option for you. Many adopters blog about their day to day experiences sharing the ups and downs of being a parent and this can help you envisage how your situation might be.

✔ Find agencies in your area and attend information sessions

Agencies run adoption information sessions and we recommend that you attend a few. Find out which agencies operate in your area by calling us (0300 222 0022) or search our online database (www.first4adoption.org.uk/find-an-agency).

These events are friendly, informal events that are usually planned group sessions (but you can arrange a 1:1 with an agency if you wish). These sessions provide a great opportunity to find out more about how the agency operates and will begin to give you an idea of whether it’s the type of agency for you. In addition you will probably get the chance to speak to adopters. Prospective adopters often find contact with people that have been through the process extremely valuable so we recommend that you prepare some questions in advance to help you build your own personal adoption picture and give you an idea of what to expect. Questions may include:

• Whatmadeyouwanttoadopt?

• Didyouknowwhatagechildyouwanted toadopt?

• Whatmadeyouthinkofadoptingsiblings/Didyouconsideradoptingsiblings?

• Whatsupporthaveyouneeded?(widerfamily, friends, professional)

• Whatcontacthaveyouhadwiththebirthfamily?Wasthisdifficult?

✔ Find out about the children

You may want to find out more about the children that need adopting. More details about their backgrounds and statistics on the children in care can be found here (www.first4adoption.org.uk/being-an-adoptive-parent/about-the-children).

First4Adoption is the national information service for anyone interested in adopting a child in England. It is managed by Coram Children’s Legal Centre, Coram and Adoption UK, and supported and funded by the Department for Education.

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Families of faithPACT is one of the largest adoption and fostering charities in England. In 2013, 190 children were placed, or had their adoption order granted with PACT families. All adopters are entitled to PACT’s post adoption support and access to the charity’s therapeutic services – FACTS. PACT approve many families of faith, 51% of approved families over recent years were of Christian faith. PACT also have a long history of working with families from the Christian community and have recently partnered with Home for Good and Adoption Matters to encourage more Christian families and those who attend church to think about growing their family through adoption. PACT staff have also been trained by Home for Good founder Krish Kandiah in order for them to enhance their understanding of the Christian community and any concerns they may have about the adoption process. For more information on PACT’s history and connection to the Oxford Diocese, visit http://www.pactcharity.org/about-us/history Home for Good are not an adoption agency, but are working with PACT and Adoption Matters to create the Home for Good pathway to adoption. Recommended by Home for Good and considered ‘outstanding’ by Ofsted, PACT and Adoption Matters are committed to providing a faith-friendly service and offer fantastic post-adoption support – for life. For more information about the Home for Good pathway to adoption call 0300 001 0995 or visit www.homeforgood.org.uk. To find out more about the Adoption Matters pathway to adoption call 0300 123 1066 or visit www.adoptionmattersnw.org

New research concludes adoption breakdown is lower than previously thought

Adoption charity Parents And Children Together (PACT) has welcomed the results of a comprehensive study into adoption breakdown in England. Researchers from

the University of Bristol found that 3.2% of adoptions were disrupted – where the child leaves the placement prematurely. The figures, obtained from analysis of 37,335 adoptions over a 12-year period, are much lower than anticipated. An earlier study in 2003 estimated a general disruption rate of 20%*.

The research found adoptions were most likely to break down if a child was placed once they were over four and that most breakdowns occurred during teenage years. The study, funded by the Department for Education, is the first national study of adoption breakdowns and gives recommendations for policy, practice and further research in the future. PACT’s own adoption breakdown rate is less than 1%. The charity believes that therapeutic support in the early years of placement has a significant impact on adoption breakdown. Director of Adoption and Fostering Satwinder Sandhu said: “PACT offers specialist therapeutic support through its award-winning FACTS service. “We work with families to help children come to terms with traumatic experiences of abuse and neglect that they may have suffered prior to placement. “We welcome the news that fewer adoptions break down than previously thought but every breakdown is devastating for both the child and their parents. “At PACT we are on hand for all our families 24 hours a day and for as long as they need us. We support them through difficult times, including the turbulent teenage years, and help the adoption to succeed.” PACT supports vulnerable families through outstanding adoption services, permanent fostering, award-winning therapeutic support and community projects in London and the south east. The full report Beyond The Adoption Order – Challenges, Intervention, Disruption can be found here: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/beyond-the-adoption-order-challenges-intervention-disruption *In Britain, Rushton’s (2003a) review of four UK and eight US studies estimated a general disruption rate of 20%. Further information about FACTS can be found at www.pactcharity.org/facts

PACT has been building and strengthening families since 1911 through its community projects across the Thames Valley and as an independent adoption and fostering charity in London and the south east. PACT is a key player in the fields of adoption (both domestic and overseas) and fostering and helps find forever families for the estimated 4,000 children requiring a new permanent home every year. PACT’s adoption services were judged to be “outstanding” at an inspection by Ofsted in January 2014. PACT operates award-winning therapeutic services called FACTS (Fostering and Adoption Consultation and Therapeutic Support) – a range of bespoke services to support adopted and fostered children and their families. Services include creative play therapy, life story work, counselling, clinical psychology and homeopathy. FACTS was voted “Voluntary Adoption Service of the Year” in the BAAF National Adoption Week Awards 2013. PACT is the one of the leading adoption charities in the Consortium of Voluntary Adoption Agencies (CVAA) in terms of placing more children with loving families. In 2013, 190 children were placed or formally adopted through PACT. Jan Fishwick, Chief Executive of PACT, is the Chair of the CVAA for 2013-15. PACT has offices in London, Reading and Oxford. We offer adoption and fostering services to couples and single people who live in London and the south of England. PACT runs events through the year where adopters and foster carers can meet other PACT families. The most popular of these are Family Fun Days, held in London and Berkshire. To find out if PACT operates in your area please call us on 0300 456 4800 or visit www.pactcharity.org

Every First Thursday of the monthAdopt Together opens their doors to you

Thinking about adoption?

There is a presentation at 6.30pmParking is provided onsite

faith infamilies from our traditional roots...

their future blossoms!

Call Adopt Together today0115 9558811www.faithinfamilies.orgAdopt Together is Faith in Families Adoption Service

7 Colwick Road, West Bridgford,Nottingham, NG2 5FRAnytime 5.30pm - 7.30pm

Join us at First Thursdays

Next dates:Nov 6th, Dec 4th, Jan 8th

Adopt Together is the adoption service of East Midlands charity Faith in Families. The charity is keen for more Black adopters to come forward who can provide positive role models for the many BME children waiting in care for a forever home. Adopt Together’s repeated OFSTED rating of ‘Outstanding’ means they are confident of providing a professional, caring and thorough service for those who make this decision to transform a child’s life:

“It was a positive experience throughout”, commented an adoptive parent, “from the assessment and preparation process, which took about eight months, to completing our family with two wonderful boys. It’s been a real learning process, but we see the boys growing and thriving and it’s a real honour to be part of it. The rewards are immeasurable.”

Adopt Together has helped many families complete or extend their family through adoption since they began in 1948. They welcome all enquiries anytime and hold adoption open evenings every first Thursday of the month between 5.30pm and 7.00pm.

Enquirers should visit www.faithinfamilies.org or call 0115 955 8811


Having a baby is the biological norm: adopting is initially about replacing like with like: I can’t have a baby, so I’ll adopt a baby. It would be quite a leap of the imagination to think, ‘I can’t have a baby so I’ll adopt a 5 year old.’ I’ve never regretted the fact that I never knew my daughter as a baby: she came to us fully-formed, her own little person with a unique sense of humour and the stubbornness that allowed her to survive her initial years which she has to this day. Some people have asked me if I missed not experiencing those first days and months when a baby is totally dependent on their parents, subtly implying that the bond be-tween us can’t be as good as if we’d had her from birth. They are wrong. Not only did I get off lightly – did I miss all the late-night feeds, all those nappy changes, the sleepless nights and the anxiety of babyhood illnesses? – uh, NO! - but we had had something even better instead: a daughter who right from the start broadened our horizons and let us see the world in ways a mewling baby could not. What most people do not understand is that an older child, because they are more aware of what is happening and want a forever family, are more capable of deciding to love their new parents – and showing this – than any baby. Although many social workers do address this on an individual basis there is little pub-licity material promoting the positive aspects of adopting older children or even dispel-ling such myths as an older child has ‘too much emotional baggage’ to connect with an adoptive parent. In fact, there are many advantages to adopting an older child: there is usually more in-formation about health or developmental issues and birth parent disputes tend to be re-solved. Life story work is well in progress because everything about the child’s past is out in the open. Older children are often better suited to ‘older’ parents and, because there is a greater need for families for these children, the time spent matching will often be shorter than queuing for a baby. Being a family to any child is an enriching experience: being a family to a child who un-derstands and responds to you means you begin a real relationship from the outset.

It’s quite understandable that most people start by thinking about adopting a baby.

AGE

UNCONCERNED

Having a baby is the biological norm: adopting is initially about replacing like with like:

I can’t have a baby, so I’ll adopt a baby. It would be quite a leap of the imagination to think, ‘I can’t have a baby so I’ll adopt a 5 year old.’

I’ve never regretted the fact that I never knew my daughter as a baby: she came to us fully-formed, her own little person with a unique sense of humour and the stubbornness that allowed her to survive her initial years which she has to this day.

Some people have asked me if I missed not experiencing those first days and months when a baby is totally dependent on their parents, subtly implying that the bond between us can’t be as good as if we’d had her from birth. They are wrong. Not only did I get off lightly – did I miss all the late-night feeds, all those nappy changes, the sleepless nights and the anxiety of babyhood illnesses? – uh, NO! - but we had had something even better instead: a daughter who right from the start broadened our horizons and let us see the world in ways a mewling baby could not.

What most people do not understand is that an older child, because they are more aware of what is happening and want a forever family, are more capable of deciding to love their new parents – and showing this – than any baby.

Although many social workers do address this on an individual basis there is little pub-licity material promoting the positive aspects of adopting older children or even dispelling such myths as an older child has ‘too much emotional baggage’ to connect with an adoptive parent.

In fact, there are many advantages to adopting an older child: there is usually more in-ormation about health or developmental issues and birth parent disputes tend to be resolved.

Life story work is well in progress because everything about the child’spast is out in the open. Older children are often better suited to ‘older’ parents and, because there is a greater need for families for these children, the time spent matching will often be shorter than queuing for a baby.

Being a family to any child is an enriching experience: being a family to a child who understands and responds to you means you begin a real relationship from the outset.

AGE UNCONCERNEDIt’s quite understandable that most people start by thinking about adopting a baby.


Could you over your home to a child or young person in need?There is a shortage of foster carers in your area. Whatever your ethnic background, age (over 23 no upper limit), marital or employment status you could potentially be steps away from changing the life of a child or young person

Do you have? • Time to care for a child • A spare bedroom• Good support networks • A real interest in children• An ability to work with professionals • Flexible to foster teenagers

We offer• A dedicated supervising social worker• A competitive fostering allowance starting from £380 per week• Two weeks paid respite • Ongoing training• Out of hours support ... and much more

Get in touch08000 354 070

Text ‘FOSTER’ to 88600Visit: www.fosteringsupportgroup.comEmail: [email protected]

Why not find out more about fostering?

Information sessionMonday 17th November 2014 6.30pm-8pm

29-31 Westow St, Crystal Palace, London SE19 3RW

Information StandMonday 3rd – Thursday 6th November ‘14

Careers Fair 10am-4pmEdmonton Green Shopping Centre

(Southmall) 62 Market Square, London N9 0TZ

Wednesday 12th November 14The Whitgift Shopping Centre, Croydon CR0 1PL

(Outside) Next to HMV 10am-3pm

Friday 14th November 14Fremlin Walk, 62 Earl Street, Maidstone ME14 1PS 10am-3pm

Wednesday 26th November14 Palace Gardens Shopping Centre, Enfield EN 6SN 10am-3pm

Working from home has never been so rewardingApply to foster with FSG today

FOLLOW US ON:

Twitter: FSG_fosteringFacebook: fsg-fostering-support-groupLinked In: fsg-fostering-support-group

www.merton.gov.uk/faith

MERTON COUNCIL

How would you feel if adoption was quicker? With a 6 month assessment, help to find the perfect match and long term support. Adoption is a lot more than just a possibility.

“Attending one of the Southwark information meetings made us realise we were ready to complete our family” Maria and Jack, from Peckham

Adopt in SouthwarkIf you are considering adoption, why not contactSouthwark Council? You’ll benefit from outstandingsupport and dedicated social workers who will helpyou as you take your first steps towards completingyour family. Your age, ethnicity, marital status orsexuality are not important, but being patient, caringand committed is.

For more information about adopting in Southwark and for future dates ofadoption meetings visit www.southwark.gov.uk/adoption or talk to us bycalling 0800 952 0707 or emailing [email protected]

www.southwark.gov.uk/adoption

Could adoption be for you?Then take the next step...To find out more, contact 023 9287 5294 or email [email protected]

Or visit www.adoption.portsmouth.gov.uk

www.portsmouth.gov.uk


Suzanne, 38, is a black British mum who works full time as a school chef. She has always wanted to be a mum and, sadly, following a number of miscarriages, she turned her mind to adoption. Suzanne is keen to tell her story because she hopes that more black people will start thinking about adoption.

There are often many preconceptions. For example, some people think that you will be ruled out if you are disabled, if you are gay, if you are a couple but unmarried, if you are single, if you are on a low income, if you are an ‘older parent’…but this is untrue. Suzanne is particularly a champion for black adopters. “So many black people think about adoption and say ‘no I can’t because I’m on my own or because I don’t have enough money’. But it can still happen for you because they do seriously look at you for who you are and what you can offer the child. Once you show that you can fit the child in your life, it happens.” With around 4,000 children currently in the UK care system waiting to be adopted, she wants to encourage more black people to go for it. Suzanne is lucky that her family and friends make up a supportive and close-knit support network for her, with many living close by, including some of the nephews who now dote on her son Jay. Suzanne is also proof that people aren’t ruled out of adoption because of their financial situation or needing to work. “You don’t have to be on mega bucks. I’m certainly not and I work full time.” Suzanne advises families to be open and honest with their agency about their financial situation, especially in the current economic climate, with many families facing uncertainties. Once Jay was placed with her, Suzanne’s agency paid her an adoption allowance so she could stay at home and look after Jay for a year. If you want to adopt, you just need to have a tenancy or lease that is secure – and lots of energy, love and understanding. Suzanne also wants to promote adoption amongst black families because she feels ethnic, cultural and religious identity is an important part of a child’s self-identity. With black boys waiting the longest for an adoptive family, it is important that more black families come forward and consider adoption.

An Adoption Journey

Suzanne and Jay

‘Jay is the best thing that’s happened to me’


An Adoption Journey

To find out more about adoption

or fostering visit

www.baaf.org.uk

These days, the majority of children waiting to be adopted have been removed from their birth family through a court process, following concerns around neglect or abuse. Young Jay’s adoption story is therefore an unusual one. He is a ‘foundling’, and was abandoned as a baby. The story made the local news, and amazingly, Suzanne saw Jay in the news on TV, but she did not know at the time that Jay would be her son one day. Suzanne finished the adoption approval process and immediately began searching for a child within the pages of Be My Parent. And then, she was told that her agency had indeed found a match for her. Miraculously, the child was little Jay, whom she had seen on the news six months earlier. Suzanne wanted to meet Jay straight away, but that special day took a few weeks to arrive, which was all in all just over six months after Suzanne begun her adoption journey. Suzanne describes her first emotional meeting with Jay at his foster carer’s house. “I was apprehensive about whether I would actually love him and feel

everything that I thought I would. But for me it all clicked into place, which I was surprised about.” Two weeks of introductions followed. Then the day came for Suzanne to take home eleven-month-old Jay forever. “He’s been the best child I could ever hope for and imagine. On day seven, he called me ‘Mum’.” This was Jay’s first word. Suzanne’s story is even more unusual in that Jay was under the age of one when he was placed with her. There are some babies who are waiting to be adopted in the UK, but very few. The average age of a child at adoption is around three years and ten months, and many of the children who wait the longest for a family are black, as well as children over the age of four, brothers and sisters and those with physical or learning disabilities. When asked how adoption has changed her life, Suzanne pauses: “From the moment Jay stepped into my life, I haven’t been happier. I live for him. I feel like I’ve had him from the moment he was born, he feels no different.”

‘Jay is the best thing that’s happened to me’


Cabrini Children’s Society is a charity which provides adoption, fostering and family support services for vulnerable children. Our aim, working as a voluntary adoption agency, is to give these children the love and stability of a permanent family when they cannot live with their birth families.

Our professional, caring and experienced team, is there to support you every step of the way on your journey to caring for one or more children.

Adopters are ordinary people making an extraordinary difference to children who need a permanent home.

Contact us now for more information.

Creating families

020 8668 2181 [email protected]

Adoption | Fostering | Support

@CabriniCharity





Creating families



@CabriniCharity





Creating families



@CabriniCharity

Noah and Valerie’s story is a bit different. When she saw his profile in Be My Parent she hadn’t even thought about

actively pursuing adoption. Just over a year later, he was living with her. Valerie was a social worker in Scotland, working with children in foster care who go on to adoption. “I had always wanted to adopt myself, even before becoming a social worker, but my circumstances never felt right.” Valerie often looked through Be My Parent for work, and in Autumn 2009, soon after returning from a church trip to Ghana, she saw Noah’s profile on the front page. He is a black British child of African descent and was two years old at the time. She describes seeing his photo: “My heart just went ‘Oh my goodness, how could anyone not want this child’. He had such a beautiful smile that reached his eyes and lit up his entire face. I took the paper home, which I had never done before. I said to my daughter, Lilly, ‘Look at this little boy, isn’t he gorgeous’. She replied, ‘Why don’t you just adopt, you know you want to’. I said, ‘It’s not that easy’, but she insisted, ‘But you could at least try’.” Valerie continues: “We went through the paper and put stars next to four children. Noah ticked all the boxes. He was described as ‘a happy little boy who likes to be independent’. In his film on the Be My Parent website, when he kicked a ball and missed, he was so stubborn and tried again. Lilly and I loved that, and thought we’d do for him. I rang Be

My Parent who gave me the contact numbers for each child’s social worker. I then rang everyone up while still being brave.” But no one got back to Valerie straightaway. She supposed that other families had enquired about the children, possibly approved prospective adopters who would be a priority as the match could happen quicker. “Lilly suggested I get assessed anyway so I rang up lots of agencies.” However, Valerie’s experience was that she was turned down by the agencies she contacted with a variety of reasons given including her age, being single, or because they had no children of a similar mixed white British and black African-Caribbean ethnicity to match her with – although it is important for prospective adopters to know that these are issues that should not rule someone out from being considered suitable to adopt. The agency she worked for couldn’t do the assessment for conflict of interest reasons. “It was quite depressing. I just thought, ‘Oh well, it’s not meant to be’.” But then, a few months later in January 2010, she received a letter from Noah’s family-finding social worker, asking if she was still interested. Valerie exclaims: “And I said YES!” His social worker phoned and then visited from London, especially commendable as Valerie lives in Scotland. Noah’s social worker would no doubt have been impressed by her down-to-earth, warm and open personality, and he could see all that she could offer Noah.

Just one enquiry Valerie, 48, was a single mum to Lilly, 17, and an adoption and fostering social worker herself, when she looked through Be My Parent at work and saw Noah’s profile. She had always thought she might like to adopt, but the time had never felt right. She took the paper home and, with encouragement from her daughter, she enquired about him. Although she had been turned down by other agencies, Noah’s agency agreed to assess her, and 14 months later he moved in. She speaks to Emily Pearce about her and Noah’s story.


After exploring all possible ways to assess Valerie, she

travelled to London for the preparation groups in July 2010.

After this, a social worker from Noah’s agency, who had family

near Valerie so was willing to travel to Scotland, was appointed to assess

her. This took place intensively over three months in late 2010.

Valerie describes the process: “Several times I thought, ‘Why am I doing this to

myself?’ It’s a real emotional rollercoaster.” When it became clear that the assessment was progressing, Valerie met with professionals involved in his care and had regular updates from his foster carer. “She helped make me feel confident that I could care for him.” By Christmas 2010, Valerie’s assessing social worker was ready to present her report to panel, which was set for February 2011, and the agency decided to hold the matching panel at same time. The day came, and Valerie was simultaneously approved and matched with Noah. A week later, Valerie and Lilly travelled to London and met Noah. “He was just so little, tiny, the funniest child. I just kept looking at him and thinking, ‘You’re the boy from the photograph’. He likes to hear the story of when we first met and he always laughs out loud! I spent lots of time with him that week. He then came up with me to Scotland. He had been really well prepared and, aged three years and four months, understood exactly what was happening. I was so excited to have him home but also very nervous. I took time off work which was fabulous. I loved him immediately, although at times I didn’t like his behaviour.” From enquiry to placement the entire process took around 14 months, which, given the travelling, and the fact that they assessed her from scratch, impressed Valerie. The adoption order took a further eight months. Valerie describes how Noah, now nearly five years old, is doing, and sounds so full of love: “Noah has been with us for one year six months. He is loving, thoughtful and has a deep happiness. He is stubborn

and opinionated, which I absolutely love. He started school this August and has settled remarkably well, just like any other kid.” Valerie talks about the content of Noah’s Be My Parent profile and says that the positives far outweighed the possible problems, including citing ‘possible uncertainties about his future development’. “I was also told his speech wasn’t that good but after a few months of one-to-one time with me, this really came on. Now his use of language is amazing and I’d love the people who said he had speech problems to hear him.” What would Valerie say to people who are thinking about adopting? “Adopters are needed from all backgrounds – it is for everybody. I don’t have my own home, a lot of money or a partner but I do have time, energy and unconditional love for this little boy, my son. It’s about having the capacity to take on the challenge. Raising any child is a challenge, and there are just a few extra

ones with a child who is already prepared for you. Noah has brought joy, occasional headaches but lots of fun and laughter to my life. I just want people to take the first step!” Valerie talks about the role Noah’s agency and Be My Parent played in her story: “The Be My Parent newspaper says that people can enquire even if they haven’t been assessed. If you hadn’t written that, I would never have rung. I knew about the adoption process and I thought that you wouldn’t be considered if not assessed. Noah’s social worker was brilliant and instrumental to the whole thing.” Considering the current shortfall in prospective adoptive families, it is refreshing that agencies like Noah’s are being more creative, and are not seeing barriers in geographical location or the fact that someone is not approved. So, even if you are not yet with an agency, and you look through the Be My Parent newspaper or on the website and see a child who you think you are the right family for, do what Valerie did, talk to someone, make that enquiry, and you never know what might happen.

All names have been changed to protect confidentiality.

© BAAF. Reproduced with kind permission. Originally published in Be My Parent in November 2012. www.bemyparent.org.uk

“I don’t have my own home, a lot of money or a partner but I do have time, energy and unconditional love for this little boy, my son.”


Foster a teenager-do something amazing

DP16124

Contact the Fostering Team

0114 273 5075

www.sheffield.gov.uk/fostering /sheffieldfostering

24/11/2014FOSTERING

INFORMATION EVENT

Meet Foster Carers and Social WorkersHomefinding and Fostering exists to prepare, train and support foster carers. Come and find out more.

Want to be part of Jaheim’s future success in life?

You can start a new profession and foster for your community.

You just need drive, time, space anda lot of love.

You’ll receive quality training, expert support and payments.

Call or email Lisa today to book your free place.

THE HOMEFINDING AND FOSTERING AGENCY

67 College Road, Maidstone ME15 6SXtel: 01622 765646 4-6 pm or 6-8 pm

www.homefindingandfostering.co.ukContact: [email protected]


Benefits of adopting with TACT• Child-focussed charity• High level of support• Ongoing training• Therapeutic services• Regular activity events

For more information*T: 0203 642 9235 E: [email protected]

* TACT works with adopters in London and the surrounding area, the East Midlands, Bedfordshire, Essex, Hertfordshire, Suffolk and Buckinghamshire plus Milton Keynes, Oxford and Swindon.

tactcare.org.ukRegistered charity numbers: England & Wales 1018963. Scotland SC 039052.

Have you got what it takes to transform a child’s life?

TACT welcomes adopters from diverse backgrounds.We are particularly keen to hear from black and minority ethnic adopters and those able to consider sibling adoption.

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Keep the faith national adoption week supplement