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8/3/2019 Kenyon Collegiate Issue 4.2
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I NSIDE T HIS I SSUE
S. Georgia Nugent WiBig With Clam Bake
Junior Cannot BelievShe Doesnt Have YouNumber Already
8/3/2019 Kenyon Collegiate Issue 4.2
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8/3/2019 Kenyon Collegiate Issue 4.2
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8/3/2019 Kenyon Collegiate Issue 4.2
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C OLLEGIATE S TAFF
Due to a lapse in security, the Registrars Office leaked some of the proposed senior theses by acci-dentally BCCing e Collegiate on an email with a considerable number of proposals enclosed inan attachment. e Collegiate felt it would be remiss to ignore such a hot tip. Below are some of our favorite proposals:A famous starlets four es-tranged sons must solve themystery of her death on anisland prison in Bergmen of Alcatraz, the honors thesis of creative writing concentratorHalle Kelleg 12.A clairvoyant vampire withmultiple personalities mustoutwit the toughest enemy hesever faced himself! Watchthe exsanguinated protagonistbumble his way through cun-ning traps of his own devising
in senior drama major ColinGrembys senior thesis, MyHel-sing, MySelf .In Oswald That Endswald , se-nior Claire Hermans specu-lative ction nal project, apresidential assassins great-great-granddaughter tries to
nd evidence capable of clear-ing her ancestors name
while dealing with her slackerex and her dead end job at thePeebles of 2045 AD.An unnamed research proj-ect by religious studies majorRandolph Dulz 12 concludesthat by taking the rst letterof the rst word of every book
of Deuteronomy you canHelp, Im Trapped In Agina Factory.A psychology study by Utica 12 tests the e ectelling a man hes been for 500 years and must nohis six clone sons who livmilitarized Aleutian islanare threatening to destro
world with a hijacked n warhead.Senior Damien Presslys lation of Der Junge unUnregelmige Hosen, oBoy and the Irregular Troua cautionary tale originatFrankfurt circa 1603, teHandel, a young pants mapprentice who, in an e oimpress his father, worthrough the night to marush order of a thousand However, all his pants a
regularly shaped and his in a rage, cuts both his tho with a pair of shears.A dissertation by econmajor Mallory Sorkin 1
vocates a mixed sectoromy and the myriad bethereof, tentatively titlednyes Ya Dig It? ad Gussman, Neandethe thesis of anthropology
jor Jordan Levitt 12, argusimply by continuing to exfreshman year roommateGussman single-handedlybunks both the theory of tion and the idea of a kind,nal God with intelligent de
e Prof: Charles Lampe e Hometown : Hanover, NH. e Campus Spot: Byrne Hall e Motto : Go Big Green! e Quote : Kenyon seems like a very nice place to go to college. Itreminds me a lot of Dartmouth.