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Motivate Children to Learn: Your Guide to Helping Your Child

Succeed in School

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Table of Contents

Introduction………………………………………………………………........... 3

Set Suitable Expectations and Goals……………………………………… 7

Develop Academic Motivation……..………………………………………. 9

Instill Good Study Habits…………..……………………………………...... 10

Be Supportive of Your Child’s Efforts..………………………………….. 11

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Model The Importance of Learning…..………………………………….. 13

Teach Resilience……………………………..………………………………….. 14

Conclusion……………………………..………………………………………….. 16

Introduction

I want to thank you and congratulate you for downloading the book, “Motivate Children to Learn: Your Guide to Helping Your Child Succeed in School”.

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This book contains proven steps and strategies on how to help your child succeed in school.

Research clearly shows that children are more likely to succeed in school when their families are supportive of their efforts. Parents’ interest and involvement in their children’s education can spark their enthusiasm and show them that learning can be rewarding and worth the effort. When parents read with their children, engage their teachers, participate in the school community, and help with homework, they can give their children a remarkable advantage—not only in school, but in life.

In order to be successful and motivated, there are several factors that need to be considered—children not only need to develop good study habits and organizational skills, they also need to develop character strengths that support motivation—like curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism, and determination. They need to learn self-control and how to manage stress in a healthy way. They need to learn to not fear failure, but to see it as an opportunity for growth. They also need positive self-esteem and the confidence that they can succeed in spite of difficulties. Educators call these characteristics “social-emotional learning skills,” or “non-cognitive skills.”

These “social-emotional learning skills” are the abilities that do not show up on standardized tests, but rather provide our children with the essential knowledge and tools to think critically and problem solve. These are the social traits that help our children become independently and intrinsically motivated. A recent study done by researchers at Oregon State University have found that these social and emotional skills are just as important as academic skills in laying

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the foundation for student success. Plus, one doesn’t have to be born with these abilities—they can be taught and learned.

As a parent you have a large responsibility in whether or not your children will be motivated to try their hardest in school. In the end it is up to them, but you have the power to help your children develop both strong abilities and lasting habits. This book will help you achieve that.

Thanks again for downloading this book, I hope you enjoy it!

*In order to be fully accessible to all readers, we have chosen to alternate between masculine and feminine pronouns throughout the book.

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Copyright 2014 by ______________________ - All rights reserved.

This document is geared towards providing exact and reliable information in regards to the topic and issue covered. The publication is sold with the idea that the publisher is not required to render accounting, officially permitted, or otherwise, qualified services. If advice is necessary, legal or professional, a practiced individual in the profession should be ordered.

- From a Declaration of Principles which was accepted and approved equally by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations.

In no way is it legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless with written permission from the publisher. All rights reserved.

The information provided herein is stated to be truthful and consistent, in that any liability, in terms of inattention or otherwise, by any usage or abuse of any policies, processes, or directions contained within is the solitary and utter responsibility of the recipient reader. Under no circumstances will any legal responsibility or blame be held against the publisher for any reparation, damages, or monetary loss due to the information herein, either directly or indirectly.

Respective authors own all copyrights not held by the publisher.

The information herein is offered for informational purposes solely, and is universal as so. The presentation of the information is without contract or any type of guarantee assurance.

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The trademarks that are used are without any consent, and the publication of the trademark is without permission or backing by the trademark owner. All trademarks and brands within this book are for clarifying purposes only and are the owned by the owners themselves, not affiliated with this document.

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Chapter 1: Set Suitable Expectations and Goals

Before you start setting goals and working to motivate your child, it is important that you have appropriate expectations for him. Setting developmentally appropriate expectations for your child is an essential responsibility of parenting and it is a great way to encourage him to succeed. A study by the Harvard Family Research Project shows that high expectations in school often lead to high performance, while low expectations lead to low performance. The key is to set high expectations while also being realistic—it is important to remember that your child is a unique individual with strengths, weaknesses, and natural abilities. It is equally important that these expectations are clearly communicated to your child. The challenge is how to set appropriately high expectations which encourage your child instead of discourage.

Communicate Clearly.

Talk gently but honestly with your child about where he thinks his interests and abilities are and where they are not. Then share your own opinions and observations. Focus on common ground, and never dismiss your child’s self-assessment as wrong or unworkable. The areas that both you and your child view as his strengths may signify the areas where he will excel. These should be the focus of your expectations for achievement. However, the areas where you both agree he struggles should be the focus of expectations of effort. Here you should make it clear that you would like to see your child’s perseverance, his effort, and his will. Setting focus on the process rather than the outcome shows your child that what he needs to demonstrate is determination. If the expectation of effort is met, then he has succeeded. It is normal for you and for your child to be concerned with results, but by only focusing on the end product, you will miss the all the hard work that went into every step along the

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way. By shifting the focus to your child’s effort, you will help to strengthen the skills that are within his control.

Continually Check In.

As your child grows and develops, so will his interests and abilities. Make plans to review expectations with your child every few months or more often if needed. Continually check in for overload or strain. Keep an eye out for behavioral changes, as these can be a big clue that your set expectations may not be a good match for your child’s capabilities. Communicate often and be ready to make appropriate changes if you and your child agree that any of the expectations were too ambitious or too low for the time being.

Help Your Child Set Goals

Goals will help transform your agreed-upon expectations into actions. Once your child knows what is expected, you can help him set meaningful goals to turn these ideas into reality. Here are three ways to help your child set achievable goals:

1. Write down the goals and post them in a visible place. Studies have shown that a person is 42% more likely to achieve his or her goals just by writing them down. A visual reminder of your child’s goals posted in the kitchen or his bedroom will help him not to get sidetracked. It will transform just talking about goals into a call for action.

2. Make the goals concrete. Avoid being vague when making goals with your child. Instead of writing “Todd will do better in English,” you need to make it specific—“Todd will get a B on his

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next English paper.” This way your child knows exactly what is expected of him.

3. Make the goals measurable and set benchmarks. When you make the goals specific, you should also include the ways that your child can get there. By breaking each goal into small, actionable steps you are better able to chart—and celebrate—his progress.

The objective with setting goals for your child is to get him started in the life-long frame of mind for thinking, planning, and taking action to achieve results. When you teach your child how to set goals you will give him the valuable sense that he is capable of whatever it is he sets his mind to.

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Chapter 2: Develop Academic Motivation

Taking time to set expectations and goals shows your child that you are interested in helping her to be her best. This is a great start to academically motivating your child, but there are many more ways to help develop and strengthen her motivation in school. Maintaining a positive parent-child relationship, showing her that you think school and learning is important, teaching her effective study skills and providing recognition for successes can all increase academic effort. Working as a partner with your child's teacher is also important.

Maintain a Relationship with Your Child’s Teacher

Talk to your child’s teacher about your expectations and your child’s goals. Ask for suggestions on achieving them. See what the teacher’s expectations and goals are for your child as well. Agree on a way for the two of you to exchange information about your child’s progress, either through email, phone calls, or semi-regular visits. You should also let the school know about what’s going on at home. If there is stress happening in your family—such as illness, death, or divorce—you should inform the teacher so that he or she will be aware and can help if needed. This will also alert the teacher to possible changes in your child’s behavior.

Support School Programs

Attend school activities such as back-to-school night, parent-teacher conferences, plays, concerts, open houses and sports events. Your commitment and attendance will show your child that being at school is a priority for you. If your schedule and resources allow, consider volunteering at the school or participating in any fundraisers. Getting

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to know some of your child’s classmates and their parents will build a support network for you and your child.

Show Positive Interest

By asking questions and letting your child share what she is learning, you demonstrate that school is important, interesting, and stimulating. Continue to emphasize the positive—ask specific questions like, “What did you do in school today that you really enjoyed?” or, “Is there anything that you would like to learn more about?”

By talking with your child about a specific school assignment, you can help her think through it and break it down into small and workable sections. You will also strengthen your child’s learning by letting her explain new concepts to you.

Talk positively about the school experience, including teachers, education and homework. Your positive attitude and enthusiasm will rub off on your child and help her develop an optimistic approach to school.

Chapter 3: Instill Good Study Habits

As a parent, one of the most important things you can do is to encourage your children to develop good study habits from an early age. By showing your kids that it is important to value diligence as well as education, you will help them develop intrinsic motivation and a lifelong love of learning. These qualities will put them on the right path for future success and happiness in whatever they choose to do.

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The skills and values that you pass onto your children will allow them to grow into independent and self-motivated achievers.

Make a Routine

Developing an established homework and study routine is very important, especially for a young child. When a child realizes that he is expected to study or do homework at a specific time, he will be able to get organized and prepare himself better than if he were free to do homework “whenever.” If you can start scheduling homework time when your child is young, he will grow accustomed to the routine and hopefully start doing it independently as he ages. Start by scheduling a routine study time for each day of the week—the best schedule is one that works with your family and fits your child’s age and his specific needs.

As your child begins to develop more independence (late elementary/early middle school), it is a good idea to reduce your involvement in his study time. Start by reminding him to begin his homework during the designated time, but do not micromanage his process of completion. As your child advances and is exposed to more difficult material and a bigger workload, teach him effective strategies for dealing with the new challenge, such as: writing down due dates in a calendar, setting up milestones for long-term projects, making flash cards, and joining a study group.

Create a Suitable environment

Make sure that your child has a quiet, well-lit place to study. Ask what supplies he needs and offer to pick them up for him. Remove distractions, turn off the TV, and discourage your child from making or receiving social telephone calls during study time. Be available during this time to look over assignments, ask questions, or give suggestions, but never do the homework for him.

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Chapter 4: Be Supportive of Your Child’s Efforts

A great way to instill motivation is to use words of encouragement and praise regarding your child’s efforts. Try to avoid using criticism to teach motivation, this will work against what you are trying to accomplish in the long run. The goal is for your child to meet new challenges with confidence in her abilities and to be proud of her efforts. This can be achieved by being consistently supportive and encouraging over time. Encouragement will teach her to form her own positive assessment of herself and her efforts, rather than relying on a judgment of her accomplishments. When problems arise, your job should be to understand the problem and help think of solutions.

Speak the Language of Encouragement

Make it a point to give your child frequent encouragement and praise for the effort she puts into schoolwork and any attempts she makes to work independently. Even if she doesn’t succeed nor do everything right the first time, continue to praise her efforts and independence. A general rule for encouraging your child is to do it immediately, often, and effectively. An effective praise is one that is specific to her actions and lets her know exactly with what you are pleased. Frequent encouragement that is directly related to your child’s efforts can produce in her positive emotions, confidence, and an increased sense of control over learning. When this happens, your child is more likely to independently put forth effort and persevere with new challenges.

Be Aware of Potential Anxiety and Shame

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It is important to remain aware that what may seem like lack of motivation or irresponsibility on your child’s part may very well just be a misinterpretation of her feelings of anxiety, shame, or inferiority with regards to academics and school. If your child has anxiety about her abilities, she may not be able to communicate these feelings to you and will instead just avoid that which is giving her anxiety (i.e. schoolwork). If you react by criticizing or punishing her, she may try to deal with her unconscious feelings by pulling away and doing even less schoolwork.

While a little bit of stress can be a great motivator, too much will block your child’s ability to think or to motivate herself. When you notice this happening, remind yourself that it is your child’s anxiety acting up, not laziness. The way you will be most helpful to her is to not negatively react to her anxiety or your own, but rather to be kind and encouraging, yet firm. Continue to develop a positive, emboldening relationship and use your skills to help her with the structure and habits she cannot pull off on her own just yet.

She also needs to learn that making mistakes is okay and an expected part of life. Both failure and mistakes are part of the learning process and should be seen as a motivator and a challenge: we learn from our mistakes and we become better. The goal is to teach your child not to fear failure. In school, the fear of making a mistake can often cause someone to shy away from learning and education all together.

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Chapter 5: Model the Importance of Learning

School and learning can become boring or feel like grunt work if your child sees it as something that can only happen inside a classroom. If you want your child to be a motivated student, show him that learning can happen anywhere—not just at his desk. Although the skills he is acquiring in school are crucial to academic growth, in order to be a well-rounded and motivated individual, he also needs to be exposed to the world of ideas outside the classroom. By discovering new ways to learn and boosting his enthusiasm, you’ll be bolstering his academic achievements as well. A motivated child understands that learning can take place virtually anywhere.

Introduce Fun Learning Activities

A great way to encourage curiosity and learning is to plan fun outings to historical places, parks, zoos, and even the library. If your child is studying science or social studies, take him to a museum with exhibits on natural history, space, or rockets. Trips of this kind will give his studies a deeper and more personal dimension.

Provide your child with play opportunities that support different kinds of learning styles—teach him to play word and math games, find books on tape, act out passages from favorite stories, talk with him about what he observes as the two of you walk through the neighborhood or go shopping.

Show enthusiasm for your child's interests and encourage him to explore subjects that fascinate and engage him. If he loves dinosaurs, show him documentaries about prehistoric times or challenge him to find fun facts about dinosaurs in the encyclopedia or on the internet.

Set a Good Example

Your child sees you as a model for many things, so if you continue to expand your own knowledge and skills, your child will see the value in

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learning. Show your child that the skills he is learning now are an important part of the things he will do as an adult. Fill your home with printed materials and let your child see you reading books, newspapers, and periodicals. Talk about what you read and point out the new things you learn with enthusiasm. Discuss the different ways you find new information, whether you're browsing the Internet for cooking tips or reading about other cultures in Natural Geographic Magazine. Talk with your child about what you do at work, his own ideas about a career, and explain how school is related to a career.

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Chapter 6: Teach Resilience

One of the most valuable traits you can help your child develop is resiliency. A child who is resilient will be ready for whatever school and life may throw at her. A resilient child is very likely to be an academically motivated child, as she will have the personal capability to recover from disappointments, stresses, and seemingly impossible challenges. Teaching your child to be resilient will not only help her in school, it will equip her with the valuable tools needed to face all of life’s adversities.

What Is Resilience?

Simply put, resilience is a set of attributes that allows one to recover quickly or “bounce back” from difficulties. It provides one with the strength to confront the inevitable obstacles that are a part of life. As parents we would like to protect our children from harm, but, realistically, we also know this is impossible. Though resilience cannot immune children from life’s troubles, it will empower them to rise above these difficulties and recognize that they are only momentary conditions.

The characteristics of resilience mirror those of one who is motivated. Namely, a resilient person will possess the following: the ability to make practical plans and to execute them; a positive view of one’s self and confidence in one’s strength and abilities; the capacity to problem solve and communicate; and the capability to handle strong emotions and impulses.

How to Develop Resilience

Instilling positive feelings of resilience in your child will not result from the occasional pep talk, but from planned educational experiences. It is an ongoing process and will need to be repeated over time in order to be fully incorporated into your child’s skillset

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and sense of self. The structures and opportunities that you provide in your child’s daily routine will help her to experience feelings of competence, usefulness, belonging, strength, and optimism, all which feed resilience. In general, family relationships that create an atmosphere of love and trust, provide positive examples, and offer support and reassurance all help to generate resilience in a child. You can also encourage your children to be resilient by:

Empathizing with your child and trying to see situations through her eyes. This will help her feel supported, which will sustain feelings of competence, belonging, and worth.

Being willing to make reasonable compromises to encourage independent thinking in your child.

Providing your child with practical choices. Encourage her to express her opinion, talk about her feelings, and make choices. Ask for her input on family decisions and show that you value it.

Supporting your child’s interests and talents, and encouraging development of those talents.

As parents, we would love to ensure the world our children inherit will be better, brighter, and easier than the one we now live in. However, life’s hurdles will continue to exist for our children, as it has for us, and as it did for those who came before us. But we are not powerless—what we can do is use our school’s programs and resources, our

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personal strength and community, and the methods put forth in this book to help build up our children for the future.

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Conclusion

Thank you again for downloading this book!

I hope this book was able to help you to realize that you have the ability to strike the spark that motivates your child academically.

The next step is to incorporate these ideas into action!

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Finally, if you enjoyed this book, then I’d like to ask you for a favor, would you be kind enough to leave a review for this book on Amazon? It’d be greatly appreciated!

Click here to leave a review for this book on Amazon!

Thank you and good luck!

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