Extraordinary Kissing

Romance: It's one thing to be attractive, but can you sustain it?

So, you put everything in place. You decide to love and accept yourself and other people. You set yourself some inspiring goals and learn what women want from men. Most importantly - you dig deep within to discover and release the real and wonderful person trapped inside....

But what makes you different or more attractive than a photograph of this amazing new you?

People can look at your photo, but they can't hear you, they can't smell you, they can't feel you and, what's more, they can't TASTE YOU! It may be fun to look at your picture, but it's not going to be that exciting kissing it!

Even in day to day life, most people will get to see you, perhaps shake your hand or get a whiff of your scent as you glide confidently past them on your way to the office fax machine or water cooler...but what about that other vital sense, the most important of the five, the one held in reserve for that special moment?

Even though you may have done well on improving the visual image side of things, and even perhaps the audio... what are you going to do when all this works to good effect and you have the person of your dreams standing right there in front of you...just inches away and biting at their bit...?

After all, there's nothing so disappointing as biting into a huge, bright red, juicy-looking apple, only to find it's powdery and fluffy and dry...and tastes like dehydrated cardboard! Or the other alternative - an apple full of juice but without flavor or texture: in short, bland, tasteless and dull!

The fundamental question is, can you come up with the goods when it counts?

A question of technique

It may be a boring word, but as discussed in earlier chapters, technique is what makes the vital difference! To be extraordinary at anything in life requires knowledge of the "craft" involved. But contrary to popular opinion, the act of acquiring it needn't be a boring process. If you get the recipe right it can be a fun and exciting adventure!

The Six Fundamental Qualities of Extraordinary Kissing!

When it comes to craft, there are an infinite number of techniques you can learn; but as with any new skill, if you understand the basics and also the KEY PRINCIPLES required, then beyond that it is a process of continual REFINEMENT and your own individual learning.

Experimentation

This "process of continual REFINEMENT" requires that you develop a sense of play and experimentation. This means that you DON'T get set in your ways or "stuck" in your approach: it's important to explore new approaches and to force yourself to try things differently.

This means accepting the risk that not every new approach may be all that exciting, especially while you're still learning! This is where it's a good idea to know two or three techniques that really work! Then you can depart from them for a few moments at a time while you experiment with something new.

If the new thing works, hey presto! You can stay with it a bit longer, add a new quality or intention to that technique and see if in doing so you discover something else that's new or deeper or more intense.

If, however, you feel the energy and connection wane a bit, that is to say, you can sense that it's not working and your partner is not so responsive, then move back to what you know for a while. Once the energy returns, try something new again.

Once you get to know your partner well, experimentation is an important part of sustaining the passion in a relationship. Routine has its value, but it is important to spice things up a bit by adding a little bit that's new every so often. This is how long lasting relationships are forged, where people can find a rich and deep satisfaction from choosing to be with same person for the "long ride".

To this end it may pay to talk through this with your partner. Discussing the value of experimentation will help them to

understand the low points better. They are then more likely to explore with you rather than wondering what on earth your doing. This also means they are less likely to feel resentful that you seem to be tuning in and out all the time.

Of course, in the early stages of a relationship - the "honeymoon" period, both of you are more likely to be forgiving of each other and more ready to ignore any "low points". The sense of experimentation will keep your partner guessing. They'll always be wondering when the next wow factor is going to come. They're likely to sense your desire to experiment and will appreciate your willingness to explore what pushes their buttons.

Imagination = image/ination

Of course, experimentation requires an ability to do something new, something you haven't done before.

This is where your imagination is vital.

Imagination is the ability to ask the question "What if". What if I did this or that differently, with more energy or with more tenderness, or with more strength?

Imagination is not so much concerned with what is, or what has been, but with what could be. Imagination is about what is new, what can be improved and its purpose is to inspire oneself and others by taking what is, and transforming it into a much better version.

Imag/ination is about the ability to let images form in your mind. The first step is to ask the question "What if...". The next step is to allow the answer to your question to come to mind. This answer may appear in the form of images/pictures, a feeling or hunch, or perhaps some words or ideas.

When this answer appears you then need to apply the third step - if it's a good idea - which is to act on it. Try it out! See if it works!

For example, the most conventional approach to kissing is face to face: but what if you tried it with one of you upside down - just for the hell of it! This can be most easily achieved by sneaking up on your partner when they are sitting in a low chair - while they're watching TV, for example - you can lean over the top and plant one on them! There are other instances where this can be applied too - these can be left for you to imagine! If anything, the "upside down approach" may make you laugh and may add some fun to your interaction!

It may even help to relax you both and dispel any awkwardness or tension. You partner is likely to admire you, too - for having the confidence to do something a bit wacky. After all, this is part of romance and of being in love: - making memories, which, in the future you can look back on.

Letting your imagination flow, and giving yourself permission to spontaneously act on it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, as well as the people you share your life with.

Have you ever tried a surprise kiss from behind? For one thing it creates a different series of sensations. This is because the two sets of lips form a different shape as they stretch to make contact with each other. For the person receiving, there is also the pleasure of feeling the warmth of your body from behind.

There is something very intimate about exposing your back to someone as it indicates a high level of trust and vulnerability. When you are face to face, your body's instinct is to put its guard up, to put a "mask on the face". When one person has their back facing the other, this guard is let down.

What about kissing from side on? Then there is the brief kiss, the long kiss, the light long kiss, the deep brief kiss, the deep long kiss, the repetitive short kiss that offers then pulls away and thus creates greater desire...and so on and so on...

In a way it's a matter of using your imagination to constantly ask yourself: "What is a different or opposite way to do what I am doing now?". You may like to use your imagination to try the above 'kiss types' in different combinations or sequences.

You can also use your imagination to connect with the idea of texture and different energy qualities. It's useful to think of kissing as a type of dancing.

Dance is a response to the stimulation of music. Music is about dynamics: fast, slow, loud, quiet, hard, soft, high and low. It is about smooth connected lines ("legato") and it's also about the more broken disconnected moments ("staccato").

Then there are all the combinations of these: loud, low, hard, fast and broken; soft, low, slow and broken; smooth, connected, loud, fast and high...the combinations are endless once you set yourself free to play with the possibilities.

Take a moment now to think for yourself how this might apply to kissing and how it might "generate ideas" for you in developing your own unique "style".

What would "legato" kissing look and feel like, for example? And staccato? And legato dominating, but interrupted occasionally by the other? And vice versa? And fast applied? And slow applied? And soft? Hard? And moving moments, and moments of complete stillness?

Down the track, once you and your partner have become familiar with each other, it may be a good idea to use music during your intimate times together to stimulate your imagination.

The changes in the tempo and structure of the music may help to feed your imagination. In the meantime, you could simply think of a piece of music you really enjoy whilst kissing. It may seem unusual, but that is what imagination is: although in this case you are thinking of sounds.

In addition to feeding your imagination with a variety of musical energies, it's also useful to imagine different textures or surfaces. Such images help you to discover different techniques by guiding your intention and

muscle movement. Images such as sandpaper suggest a roughened texture, which can direct the movement of your lips to create strong and determined sensations and impulses.

And if you are already with a steady partner, there's always the opportunity to extend images like this into other areas of intimacy beyond kissing. For example, you can make use of any unshaven stubble to create a gentle yet arousing sandpaper effect on your partner's skin (we are speaking, of course, of a light brush: you're not aiming to remove any layers here!).

There's another aspect to all of this, which has to do with the way we experience the world. To begin with the human being takes in information through the five senses: touch, taste, smell, sound and sight. If this is all that happens, however, then one is only living on one level of experience.

Living life more richly is about enriching or adding richness to your life. People who enrich their own lives have learnt to use the idea of feedback. These are the people who at the end of each day tell themselves or those they love about the day they’ve had. They recount the day in the form of stories and anecdotes; they reinterpret their experience by finding the humor in stressful events and the beauty in some of life's more mundane moments.

Whilst waiting at the bus stop they will notice a mother duck being followed to the river by her newly-hatched ducklings; or the child who gave the rest of her chocolate bar to her baby brother to stop him crying. These are the people who know how to see images of beauty in amongst the movie of daily facts and events.

They then play these images back through their minds. As they do so they are able to re-interpret and therefore re-experience their life. Each time they do this they are able to derive more and more meaning from their life. They are then able to grow the gift of life that they have been given. They grow their gift way beyond its original size.

In this way these people live more than one life. They live many lives. These are the people who are rich because they can experience more, feel more, love more and give more.

They therefore attract more, because people who are rich are attractive - they have an unstoppable smile on their face and a bounce in their walk that sings of their abundance!

And the key to achieving this is their "IMAGE-INATION"! They collect the images and moments of their life like a gold miner panning the river for specks of gold, and every day they find it! No wonder they have a gleam in their eye!

Now, to get back to the issue of sandpaper and velvet - this approach of panning the river of life for images can be applied to the romantic side of your life as well. This is something poets and artists have always known: hence you get phrases such as: “her hair pure silk", or, "her eyes were like diamonds floating in a sea of moonlight", or, "her skin was made of the smoothest marble - rounded and polished to the point of utter bliss".

As you learn this technique of describing one thing in terms of another thing, it sets your brain off on a trip of the imagination. The human mind LOVES this type of thinking. It helps it to makes sense of the world and to create the experience of living a beautiful life.

This is why artists throughout the ages have used metaphors and images to express what is important in life; it helps to make life a process of enrichment. And the point about using images in this way is that they INTESIFY your sensations and

FEELINGS. When it comes to kissing, this is a highly desirable skill. Feed it back to yourself and you get to re-live it, AS you are experiencing it...and any time thereafter!

You may ask, "well, this is great for me, but what about my partner"? Well, the point is that as you intensify your experience you will find it easier to be responsive to their offers. You are also more likely to respond to them in ever more imaginative and creative ways. In short, it gets your juices flowing and so it's likely to get theirs going too!

Think about it this way. If you find that each offer you make to your partner causes them to respond with a high of level of intensity and interest...well, it would kind of feel like a compliment to you, wouldn't it? You feel like they are taking your offers or advances and are running with it! This is much more exciting than throwing someone a ball, so to speak, and having them drop it repeatedly on the ground.

In a sense, this is about being imaginatively responsible. That may seem like an odd combination of words, but what it means is that you are responsible for your own experience and your own happiness. Whatever offer you receive, however tentative and weak, you can compliment your partner by receiving it, MAGNIFYING their impulse, and returning it to them with an even stronger and clearer intention.

This is where the power of your IMAGINATION really kicks in - it is the key to transforming any situation you are in, whether romantic or otherwise; even more than this, it is the key to transforming and enriching your life. So, learn to use it: learn to accept what life or people offer you, and once you have accepted it, it is yours to magically transform into what ever you desire. It's as simple as waving a wand; suddenly romance will no longer seem like "work"; instead it gains the ease and freedom of play and magic!

It is also the way to overcome any initial disappointments you might experience; maybe you have imagined being close to that person who you find attractive, but, when it actually happens...well...somehow it doesn't seem to be as exciting as you'd expected. The answer rarely lies in moving on to the next person, for often it is just a matter of using YOUR imagination to create the spark. It’s about making your partner feel safe and about letting them be human - not some super goddess. Its also about giving them room or space to get it wrong, to be a bit dull or flat, or to be tense. This is to say, that if you accept your partner as they are, they will sense it and respond positively.

By accepting them you will make them feel better because you are saying it is okay to be where you are. There's no greater turn off than expecting someone to be somewhere else, whether in a better mood, or more responsive or whatever they are not right now. If you take them as they are, then you have found your starting point and you can use your imagination to spark the rest of your time together.

This is ESPECIALLY important with your FIRST kiss. If you are meeting someone new the chances are you will both be a little nervous. If you accept them as they are, AND yourself, then you can work with what you've got. You can activate your own imagination and exercise your own imaginative responsibility to CREATE the experience as, at the very least, pleasant for both of you.

Here there is room for further improvement - or you may both mutually decide to let it go. On the other hand, should you both decide to stick at it, then you have a really good basis to build on when you next meet - and there is every chance of it getting better and better.

Kindness

This brings us to the third fundamental quality of extraordinary kissing: Kindness. So far we have dealt with experimentation and imagination. A kiss is a sign of profound intimacy developing between two people. To receive a kiss requires each person to make a choice to ALLOW intimacy to occur. The

question is, on what basis does that person make such a decision - what information do they have to go on?

After all, when you are with another person it is not like reading a book. You have to make decisions moment by moment - in a sense you are always on the spot. You can re-read a sentence in a book, even a whole paragraph if you want to. But when you are with a person you have to make sense of what they are saying as they are saying it. You have to process it, interpret it, and respond appropriately. And you can't always put a person down like a book and then go and re-read them. When someone speaks, their words disappear into the air - their only trace is contained in what you remember and that depends on how well you were listening.

And that may depend on what mood you were in at the time, how much mental space you had and whether you were in the right frame of mind to take on board what they wanted to say. Even then, memory is not a very accurate recording device and is totally colored by our perceptions and beliefs and attitudes.

So how do we get around this aspect of communication? After all, if your friend says to you - "Can you drive down town and pick up my Aunty from the train because I will be at work....", well, that's a straightforward request. Either you can or you can't and if you can it becomes a question of whether you want to or not". There's not really that much at stake. But if someone says to you: "Hey, I really enjoy your company...I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you!" - well, this is when words begin to fail us. In this case, THERE IS a HUGE amount at stake!

And when it comes the communication of kissing - well, this is a language that is quite beyond words. It relies on intuition and quick thinking if you are to convey your true intentions with a kiss. It relies even more so on these qualities if you are left to INTERPRET the intentions of someone else!

Because romantic communication puts us so on the spot, it is important to develop and convey certain qualities which help to ease the situation and which serve to relax both yourself and the other person. This is where the act of kindness really comes into the picture.

If you simply have the thought of being kind throughout your interaction with your partner, this will affect what you convey through your movement, the way you touch them and they way you speak to them. They will sense this quality and it will help them to relax and enjoy themselves.

Respect

Needless to say, really - but it is worth reminding ourselves that, like kindness, respect is a foundation stone of true and lasting enjoyment. Any kind of enjoyment that comes without respect can only produce a

sense of eventual loss for one or other party, and therefore, for both. This is because the joys of a mutual relationship or interaction -which is based on the idea that both people can be winners - is so immense, that any thing less than this means you are losing.

But when you have respect as a foundation stone, not only are you less likely to be rejected, you are both likely to end up feeling good whatever the outcome. Whether your romance looks like it may last, or whether it subsides, it is nice to be able to look back on that moment with fondness and at the very least, maintain a sense of "appreciation" for the way the other person treated you.

Respect is a multi-layered idea and the decision to act with respect for another person is as important as acting with respect for yourself. This means that you are willing to stand up for yourself if you find your partners approach or behavior to be threatening or uncomfortable in any way.

Sometimes people get carried away when in the throes of passion and they may even forget, temporarily, about the need to respect the other person's comfort zone. If you find that your boundaries are being pushed too far, it is important to let your partner know - immediately. After all, they may not realize and may be horrified to find out only later that you did not enjoy an experience.

Communication

This is where communication is VITAL. You need to be able to communicate clearly if you are not enjoying an experience or if you feel discomfort. This helps your partner to adjust their approach. Both people need to receive information from each other. It is not enough to simply rely on intuition and technique - especially if you are experimenting.

So make sure you are prepared to risk stopping and letting someone else know if you are not enjoying yourself. You won't look dumb - they will actually respect you if you respect yourself, and if you sense they don't then don't get involved with them any further. Always remember, you deserve the best.

It's also good to remember that a kiss is, in itself, an act of communication. A kiss fills a moment and prevents speech because it is saying what is beyond words. This is where you need to be master of your own intention. This is because it is through your intention that you convey what you feel about another person. And it is through the sensations you create for that other person, that they receive your intentions and experience their own feelings for you.

Confidence

Once again it is a good idea to reacquaint yourself with the earlier chapter devoted to "Confidence". There is a useful thought to have in your mind about confidence, however, and that is this: "Confidence is my natural state: I simply need to release it".

If you think the thought that confidence is in actual fact your natural way of being, then you are in for a much easier time. Such a thought will help confidence to flow in your veins and you will notice that warm feeling in the belly that happens when you feel yourself to be in the zone.

When it comes to kissing it is also a useful thought to have in your mind that: "kissing is a natural way to express myself". The context for this is, of course, that it is a special way to express oneself and there is code of appropriateness that surrounds it to do with the values of mutual respect and

communication. When you keep all this in mind - that is to say the idea that kissing is natural within appropriate contexts - then that thought will help to release your natural state of confidence because your body will feel safe and relaxed.

Of course there is no confidence booster like the simple fact of having some knowledge. When you know what you are doing then everything else flows because the chances of being embarrassed or feeling stupid are minimized. So this is where it helps to acquire some tips in developing your own individual technique.

Preparation

.... Is VITAL!

This is especially the case for first dates. Of course you don't necessarily want to make your first evening out about kissing! You may want to get to know a person better before letting things roll on too far!

There is, however, a simple way to avoid having any nervous feelings about kissing in the forefront of your mind. The easiest way to do this is to develop a few routine habits as part of your daily routine. When you do this you will make yourself open to the possibility of romance without having it spoiled by thinking, "Oh shit, I'm not prepared".

And if you are already involved with someone, it is a simple courtesy to keep up your grooming!

Beards -

If you are already involved with someone, then make sure you know what she likes! Some may like guys who have tickly beards - but it really pays to check.

If you are meeting someone for the first time, then it pays to keep it trimmed back around the lips, as it can be a real turn off for your partner if they find all these hairs sticking into their mouth.

If you are single, it is probably worth getting the advice of some friends whom you trust. Ask them how your beard affects your look and whether they think you look better with it or without it.

Make sure too, that you ask more than one or two people and not all of the same gender! It is good to get a variety of opinions as looks can affect you not only romantically, but in your career as well. Some people just don't suit beards and it pays to find out if that includes you - at least, if you are keen to get that promotion you have been waiting for!

It is a good idea to make regular use of a lip balm - especially if you suffer from dry or cracked lips. You may not want to wear it when you are kissing, but if you put it on first thing in the day it will absorb into the skin and help to keep your lips smooth and sensitive for some extraordinary kissing!

Shower

There is nothing like a good shower to help wash away any loose skin from the face, lips and hair as well as removing any unwanted dirt or odor. When showering, however, you want to be careful with how much soap you do use as it can have the effect of drying out your skin. Some soap can remove the skins natural oils and then the skin becomes dry or, alternatively, it may over compensate and produce too much oil and become greasy.

To this end it pays to shower every day, but consider confining your soaping and shampooing to every three days. It does depend on the products you use and your own body and if in doubt get some professional advice from a dermatologist or chemist. If your skin is getting dry, then try out a moisturizer. This can relieve itching and, once it soaks in, can make sure your skin is smooth and pleasant to touch.

Scent

In addition to removing unwanted odor from your body, showers can help to make you smell fresh and clean.

It is often a good idea to compliment this with gentle perfumes or scent sprays which are designed for your skin type. Some can cause rashes so if in doubt get professional advice.

It is also a good idea to make sure such perfumes don't clash with the smell of your "shampoo" or deodorant. This may require a bit of experimentation to find the right balance! If you have a partner, get their input! They are the ones who have to put up with you - often you get used to the smell of your own body and so don't notice it.

In addition to body scents it is really important to make sure you don't have bad breath. Once again, this is not always easy to detect on yourself, so you may need to ask your partner or a friend. If bad breath is a problem, then you can explore a variety of mouth wash products in addition to the usual routine of cleaning and flossing your teeth.

One common, but not very well understood cause of bad breath is eating food late at night and then going to sleep soon afterwards. This can cause the acids in the stomach to produce gas as they digest the food. Because you are lying horizontally, the gases and acids can rise up towards the mouth and this often produces the sensation of yellow liquids in the mouth when you wake up in the morning. It also brings bad odors to the mouth as well.

A similar effect can occur as a result of not eating enough food. If you have woken up and not eaten all day, the stomach juices may have nothing to work on and the gas and fluids may rise up towards the mouth producing, once again, the experience of bad breath.

To prevent these things from happening, make sure you eat at least two or three hours before going to bed (a small snack should be okay - but big meals late at night will cause problems). Also, make sure you eat a good breakfast at the beginning of the day and this will help to keep those stomach juices where they are meant to be - down below!

Kissing Essentials

Now it's time to deal with some of the crucial details of your craft! These are the little tips that will help to make your romance romantic rather than bland. They may be subtle, but they're worth noting if you want to add that extra dimension to your kiss!

Lips – relaxed, not puckered

This is an easy mistake to make and is often the result of a desire to please a partner by putting effort into it - it is this effort that causes the muscles in the lips to tense! When they are tense there is less chance of communicating the more subtle sensations and making the experience an enriching one.

It is a balance though - if your lips are too sloppy then it can be like kissing a sea anemone - a rather wet and weak experience. What you want is to apply the right amount of muscularity or "intention" to the lips and this will alter in intensity according to the moment. But as a rule, the more relaxed the better.

Control saliva in the mouth.

Too much saliva can really make a kiss sloppy. If you don't stop it building up you run the risk of letting it escape past your lips and dribbling down your chin and neck - or worse - over your partner. Saliva tends to cool quickly once it is outside the mouth and so it can create a rather cold and gooey sensation on the skin, which isn't that much of a turn on.

This is easily avoided, however by simply applying a light suction. If both partners do this they will manage to retain their own saliva rather than swapping it - which is much more hygienic - and if you pace yourself during long passionate kissing you will also be able to find time to swallow as well.

The use of Tongue

...usually implies that each partner takes each other seriously. If you decide to use it, it pays to employ the proper tongue

motion. This can best be described in terms of licking butter off a finger. You may choose to think also of the motion used when licking a Popsicles.

It pays to bear in mind that the more sensitive nerve endings are on the top of the tongue, so your aim should be to try and stimulate these. It's important not to rush into using the tongue. In fact it's actually a good idea to withhold tongues to begin with as absence creates desire: this is to say that its better to keep them guessing as to when you are going to advance.

The idea is to be tantalizing - dangle the prospect in front of them and then withdraw a moment after they reach for it. Then you can return again. In a sense you are respectfully teasing them and creating a sense of fun and playfulness, which adds a dimension beyond pure sensation.

Taste and Breath

In addition to the maintaining good breath as mentioned before, you can actually go a step further. If you really want to enhance your kiss and make it really pleasurable for your partner, why not appeal to their taste buds by chewing on some different flavored sweets or other confectionary such as breath mints, or chocolate? Just make sure you don't leave it too long in between chewing the sweet and your kiss as the flavor will subside and possibly even go off.

Eyes – Open or closed?

This depends on what kind of experience you want to have. It's worth bearing in mind that the visual sense takes up most of the brains processing power, so when you close your eyes you'll be able to get a stronger kinesthetic sensation.

One technique is to open them, if you find your partner's lips really attractive, and then close them and hold that picture in mind as you kiss them - so your brain knows WHAT you are kissing! In this way you become responsible for amplifying and intensifying the stimuli and enriching your own experience.

When you do this you'll find it easier to respond to the other person - they will sense your energy and responsiveness and,

because you are having such an intimate experience within such close proximity, they will pick up on your vibe in a telepathic manner and will start to respond at a deeper level themselves.

In this way you create an upward spiral where you both become responsible, in playful way, for making the experience more and more heightened.

Hands – where should they be?

It pays to stick with a conservative embrace; this means placing your hands on your partner's shoulders or upper arms. At the most you might move one hand toward the middle of your partners back for support.

Maintaining a conservative embrace is one clear and strong way to convey your respect for your partner - especially if you have just met and your romance is just beginning. Of course, if you have been with someone for a while, then it is about applying the principles of experimentation, imagination, respect and communication discussed earlier. The best thing is to find out what your partner likes by asking them and not just assuming.

Tilt right

If you are wondering about the movement side of things and don't want to feel fixed or stuck in a pose, the research suggests that the instinctive thing for both parties to do is tilt to the right. You can also do a lot to keep your body flexible and planted on the ground by keeping your knees slightly bent and your weight centered. If you do this and are always aware of where the center of your weight is, then there is less chance of toppling over and being torn from your intimate embrace.

Breathing – do it or you will be light headed and produce too much saliva!

If you want a secret tip as to how to get the extra breath you need for long and passionate embraces, then the answer lies with your ribs. If you take in a deep breath to begin with and allow your ribs to expand, then this gives you an extra "reserve" of breath. Don't fill right up otherwise you'll stiffen and become wooden and tense - instead aim for 85% of in breath.

You can also learn to keep your ribs expanded and this allows you to snatch quick breaths by using your diaphragm. And if you really want to keep that kiss going extra long then you can always breath through your nose by bringing the back of the tongue up against the soft palate for a moment!

Position

As just mentioned, keep your knees slightly bent and also your spine flexible so you can move sideways or forward or back depending on what is required to maintain your balance. If you happen to be lying down or seated upright but leant against a bank or wall, make sure that your blood can still travel where you need it. If your arms go dead it can become quite uncomfortable and it's not very safe. It's important to also make sure that your partner is in a comfortable position so they don’t risk losing their blood flow either!

Timing

If you are in the first phases of meeting someone new and the whole kissing thing begins to happen there is a really good rule of thumb to remember - and it has to do with respect: if you begin the kiss make sure you are the one that ends it and don't take too long!

If you do take too long you put your partner in the position of having to end it so that they can breathe or change position. This can be embarrassing for both of you, as they may not intend that this be a sign of rejection or disinterest. But of course if you over step the natural time boundary then you make a nice moment into an awkward one.

If it is your partner who initiated the kiss then allow them a reasonable amount of time to complete it. If they do take too long then you'll begin to understand what is meant in the previous paragraph - if this happens, then take note and learn from it so you don't make the same mistake!

In conclusion…

You will by now be able to deduce from all these tips that kissing is an art form all of it's own! Like other art forms it requires a good knowledge of the craft involved if you are to excel. But also, like other art forms, music, writing poetry or painting....once you have acquired your craft through playful experimentation and exploration as well as research and study, then you are free to let your intuition guide you. No art form truly works without intuition and the ability to sensitively feel your way through each moment.

The good news is that wherever you are at in your level of skill is fine - because the only direction from there is upwards. You can only improve in the arts because there is no such thing as failure really - only experiments. Some work and some don't. Of the ones that don't work, make sure you value them, because these are the experiments that hold the greatest clues to your next success!

This knowledge in itself should help to fuel your passion for acquiring a craft that is itself designed to fuel passion and romance in your life - the art and craft of the KISS! Enjoy!

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2004 by 000Relationships.com. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electrical or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system without permission in writing from the author.