KOUGAR - Ch1 Translation

8/6/2019 KOUGAR - Ch1 Translation

1/6

KOUGAR - a novel by Shaz Johar

Chapter 1

On Thursday, I saw that familiar face for the fourth time. It

belonged to a fair man whose complexion was reddened by the sun.

His sweat-soaked body made his pink shirt look like he'd got

caught in the rain. The day before Thursday, he'd worn a dark

purple shirt. It was a light gray shirt on Tuesday, and a greenish-

blue shirt on Monday. He was consistent with his choice of colour

for trousers, though. I always saw him in long black slacks. Maybehe wore the same pair over and over.

He entered the train at the Salak Selatan stop. His routine

was unvarying every day. He would stand facing the window, with

a pair of earphones plugged in, and admire the view outside. If he

was bored, hed close his eyes and try to sleep standing up, like a

horse. But on that day, his routine was broken. He was standing up

while reading a small English novel. I didn't know the title of the

novel but the way his eyes followed the words told me it was the

work of a very good writer.

The train stopped at Chan Sow Lin, where a lot of the

passengers got off. This would have given him a chance to sit down

and rest his feet. I scooted a little in my seat to give space for him

but he refused my generous offer. He kept standing, giving the seat

to some other passenger. I indignantly took his refusal as an insult.

He looked at me instantly, as if he'd read my mind.

I hung my head in embarrassment. One second, two seconds,

three seconds later I looked up and was relieved to see him looking

the other way.


2/6

The train passed through a few stations. At Pudu, many

passengers exited but he still chose to stand. Hang Tuah. The train

stopped again. The carriage was now half-empty, providing him

with a lot of seats but he chose not to take them. This happened inPlaza Rakyat, too. Once the train stopped at Masjid Jamek, I got off

along with some other passengers and, just as I'd expected, he

followed but casually dissolved into the busy crowd of people.

He was gone.

***

Want to come to the fish spa with me after work? asked

Suraya as soon as I stepped into the office. I didnt reply. I was

focused on the digital clock on the computer screen. It was five

minutes to nine. I got busy; no time to waste.

The previous week I, and a few other colleagues, was called

in to face the Big Boss to discuss the issue of tardiness and the

frequent requests for sick leave among the employees. He wanted

us to give a rational excuse before he issued warning letters. Only

three warning letters would be issued before you had to clear yourdesk and leave. I had a lot of debts that I had to settle every month,

and the time wasn't yet right for me to get another job in this

uncertain economy.

Come on. Fish spa? asked Suraya, again. I looked at her

gleeful face and shook my head.

Why?

Its disgusting, I lied. The truth was that I didnt have asmuch money to pamper myself like I used to. Id already spent a lot

of last month's pay. Half my wage was spent on the seemingly-

endless payments for my two-storey terrace house. The rest went to


3/6

groceries, bills, ASB savings and also my mother. The money I had

left in my purse was chicken scratch. Yes, chicken scratch.

Oh, really? What about that little fish that you feast youreyes on everyday in the train?

I smiled sheepishly. He wore pink today! My God, he

looked so cute!

Gay!

My smile quickly dissolved. So if a guy wears pink, hes

gay?

That's right!

You're wearing a blue shirt and black slacks. Does that

mean youre a dyke?

I have three kids, how can I be a dyke! Suraya raised her

voice. So, you want to go?

Its disgusting.

Come on, its on me!

OK, I said. I cannot resist an offer when someone says the

magic words on me.

***

Are you a lesbian? asked Suraya as she observed the tiny

fishes nibbling on the dry skin of her legs.

Yup, Suraya. Im a lesbian. Will you be my girlfriend? I

asked, trying to control the ticklish feeling caused by the fishes.

How come youre not married? Arent you 40?

Ive been asking myself the same question.


4/6

Your mother is fine with that?

Maybe shes tired of yelling.

My mother told me that women find it hard to get pregnant

if they marry late. After I had my second pregnancy, I understood

what she meant.

Its different for different people. Mei Hua in our office lost

her baby last month. Shes just 21.

Dont you want kids?

Is this an interrogation room? Why are you asking me these

questions? Which guy do you want to introduce me to?

Abang Mat in Admin. Hes been divorced for some time

now.

Not him! Hes gay!

What? He has two kids! Yes, he may be soft on the outside

but hes hard where it counts...

But hes still gay!

What makes you say that?

The whole office talked about it when he divorced. They

say his wife caught him intimately chatting with a young man. You

know, one of those 'little fish' types.

Suraya laughed. Our office really knows how to make a

good story. Those are just rumours. You believe them?

I shrugged. Why dont you marry him, then? Youre a

divorcee yourself. You'd make a good couple. You'd get along

swimmingly.


5/6

Hes sooo not my type.

Mine neither.

I'd known Suraya since I first stepped into the office five

years ago. She was promoted when I started there and I took the

job that required me to clean up her leftovers. She was a very strict

guru. She taught me how to be disciplined and focused when it

came to work. Be professional. Always. she said every time I

worked without due seriousness.

The first couple of months, we treated each other like

common colleagues. In the third month, she opened up a little to

me. She suddenly talked to me in Malay instead of her usual

English. In the fourth month, we went from being lunch partners to

having dinner with people who were not from the office. In the

months after that, I managed to tame the stern lioness that she was

into a cute and cuddly kitten. A year went by and, without us

realising it, we became best friends.

Suraya had her first child over a year after we first met. She

faced complications after seven months of pregnancy. After takingthe doctors advice, given that she'd had a few miscarriages before

this, she had a Caesarean delivery two months early.

Her husband Imran was working in London and he arrived

two days after she got out of hospital. Unfortunately, a week later,

Imran had to leave the country again to resume the work he'd

stopped when he left for Malaysia. Suraya was disappointed, but

grateful that I kept her company every day.

Over a year later, Suraya was blessed with a pair of identical

twin girls. She was happy because, unlike before this, she didnt

face any complications during pregnancy. She celebrated the births


6/6

with thanksgiving gatherings for three days straight but on the

fourth day, she had yet another problem.

While she was walking to the bathroom, she noticed theblood on her marble floor. It was dripping from her vagina. She

was terrified. A piercing pain spread from her body to her head.

She passed out from the unbearable agony. When she came to, she

found herself on a wheelchair in hospital, looking deathly pale.

The doctor told her that she'd had a secondary postpartum

haemorrhage. It was common for women who'd just given birth.

However, the doctor wasnt sure why her bleeding was so much

worse than normal.

After months of treatment, Suraya received terrible news.

They'd discovered an infection in her womb and she needed

immediate surgery. Suraya agreed. The surgery, however, would

pretty much end her chances of ever getting pregnant again. Her

mind reeled.

She was depressed and confined herself to her house. As her

best friend, I kept her company and tried to entertain her. Wherewas Imran? Working in Dubai, once again far away from his wife

and kids.

A year ago, Suraya told me something that any wife would

dread. Imran had returned from a month in Italy with a new wife

and a child in tow. Suraya had to agree to let the son be his heir.

After a very chaotic discussion, they decided to end their marriage.

She had been a single mother for a year come yesterday. I

teased her sometimes, asking her whether she was looking for a

man to replace her husband but she never replied. Maybe she was

sick of love, or maybe she was comfortable with the way things

were. I didnt know.

Documents

KOUGAR - Ch1 Translation