l1 Writing Report 2008

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    Skills for Life

    Writing Level 1

    Examination Report

    2008 Test 077

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    Skills for Life Writing Examination Report: Level 1

    This report is based on candidate performance on one version of the Skills for Life Writing Level 1 tests in2007.

    The report is intended as an aid to teachers and colleges in preparing candidates for future CambridgeESOL Skills for Life Writing tests. It includes a number of sample candidate answers accompanied byexaminer comments.

    Test 077

    The four tasks in this test were an appeal form for financial support, a letter of reference for a friend, anarticle about the fact that people are marrying older and a report about what the local community think ofthe company the candidate works for.

    There were 36 marks available on the paper, 9 for Task 1, 12 for Task 2 and 15 for Task 3. Thebreakdown of marks available for each assessment focus (Text, Sentence and Word) is shown below:

    Text Sentence Word TotalTask 1 3 3 3 9

    Task 2 6 3 3 12

    Task 3 6 6 3 15

    Total 15 12 9 36

    Candidates performed well in the Word focus on all questions but the strongest performance was seen inTask 1, which focused on familiar vocabulary in a college setting. This was also a task where candidateshad to give a straightforward description of their course and what they needed. They did marginally lesswell in Task 3 where some candidates made errors when they attempted more ambitious vocabulary.

    Candidates generally also performed well on Text focus answering questions fully and organising theiranswers well. This was done best on Task 1 but was done less well on Task 3, where some candidatesstruggled with addressing all the points and organising their answers. Candidates performed least well onSentence focus. Most managed to produce appropriate complex and compound sentences but, in Task 3especially, some candidates made errors in word order, noun-verb agreement and prepositions.

    Task 1 Appeal Form

    In this task, the most successful answers sequenced the information as suggested and included a sufficientlevel of detail. A few candidates additionally made successful use of headings although this was notspecifically required. Giving details of the course and books and equipment needed presented no difficultyfor most candidates although some candidates did not expand enough on how the books or equipment

    would be helpful on their course. Better candidates expanded this point as this was part of the persuasionelement. Some candidates went into too much detail about what was needed in a pedestrian way (e.g.listing) at the expense of the final content point, which was persuading the college to give financial help.Many candidates ignored the context, i.e. that this was an appeal against a previous decision but stillmanaged to construct a suitably persuasive appeal. The tone of the appeal was generally appropriate.

    Some candidates made appropriate use of hypothesis and speculation about how the money would helptheir studies. Explanation of why the money was needed, where this was provided, generally required useof more complex sentence forms involving subordinate clauses with if, because or as. However, thesewere not always successful. Action required by the appeals board usually involved the would likeconstruction in which to before the infinitive was sometimes missing. Stronger candidates successfullyused so that clauses in completing the appeal.

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    Appropriate vocabulary was generally accurately used when describing the course and books andequipment required. Describing why the appeals board should comply with the request sometimesgenerated language that was too forceful, e.g. must, should .

    Task 2 Letter of Reference

    In this task, there was greater opportunity for candidates to use their own life experience as they could talkabout somebody they knew well. Stronger candidates tended to write more than the number of words

    suggested but some candidates failed to indicate sufficiently clearly why their friend would be eminentlysuitable as a volunteer although this was one of the main task requirements. Generally, paragraphing andseparating the sections were done well, sometimes with headings. However, several candidates producedan unbalanced reference that had too much in the first two sections and not enough in the third, sayingwhy the friend would be suitable.

    Generally good use was made of the language of description and explanation involving complex sentenceswith subordinating clauses of reason, purpose and result. Candidates generally scored less well onSentence focus and often the structures they chose were too informal or simplistic for the task. Use oflinkers between sentences and paragraphs (the main reason why another reason is that) wasgenerally accurate.

    The range and accuracy of vocabulary was generally good although sometimes inappropriate when thequalities of the friend were described that were not appropriate to the task. The task required quite formallanguage and some candidates struggled with this.

    Task 3a Marrying Older Arti cle

    This was a popular choice among the option questions and most candidates responded well to all parts ofthe question and had no difficulty in discussing the reasons for the changing trends, the pros and cons ofthis, how this compared with other countries and implications for the future. A minority omitted one of thefour aspects of the task, generally the implications for the future. A small minority of candidatesmisinterpreted the task and wrote about the ideal rather than the actual situation. Generally this task waswell paragraphed with good opening and closing statements. Stronger candidates sometimes made use ofrhetorical questions in the opening paragraphs or introduced the article with an arresting title asmechanisms for arousing interest.

    Generally good use was made of the language of comparison and contrast, explanation and hypothesisinvolving both simple sentences and complex constructions. Present simple and present progressiveforms were generally accurately used as were there are and there is and this task provided a lot ofopportunity for use of modals.

    An appropriate range of vocabulary relating to marriage, society and the pressures on people was used,and it appears that candidates had been well prepared for this topic.

    3b Company in Community Report

    Most candidates were able to develop the three content points and to make relevant observations. Aminority of candidates focussed too exclusively on how staff felt about the company and lost marksaccordingly. Discussion of what people in the local community thought was often only addressedsuperficially. Others tended to focus on environmental issues or employment prospects, and these werevalid points. Generally the task was well-paragraphed and headings were used appropriately.

    In summarising the changes, good use was made of relative clauses, the present perfect, there are andthere were, although there were noticeable errors in singular / plural agreement. More than sometimesappeared as more that. Explanation of the changes generally required complex sentences in whichsubordinating clauses of reason, cause and result were appropriate.

    This task elicited a range of vocabulary relating to the company and the response it generated in thecommunity.

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    Recommendations for Candidate Preparation

    All Cambridge ESOL Skills for Life tests are based closely on the Adult ESOL Core Curriculum and coverall the Basic Skills Standards in each mode at each level. Therefore, by following the Adult ESOL CoreCurriculum, teachers will be preparing their students for the tests. Candidates can benefit from followingthe Dos and Donts from the Skills for Life Teaching Resource website:http://www.cambridgeesol.org/teach/SfL/Levels_1_and_2_Writing/About%20the%20paper/dos_donts.htm

    Sample Scripts

    Sample scripts are provided for each task in the question paper. Please note that it is not possible toreproduce the original candidate answers, and so any references in the commentaries to quality ofhandwriting will not be reflected in the samples provided.

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    http://www.cambridgeesol.org/teach/SfL/Levels_1_and_2_Writing/About%20the%20paper/dos_donts.htmhttp://www.cambridgeesol.org/teach/SfL/Levels_1_and_2_Writing/About%20the%20paper/dos_donts.htm
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    Level 1 (Test 077) Sample Scripts and Commentaries

    Level 1 Script ATask 1 (About 10 minutes)

    Your college gives financial assistance to some students to help them pay for books and other equipment

    that they need for their studies. You applied for this financial help but your application was not successful.You have decided to appeal against this decision.

    Complete the form.

    Write about 80 words.

    Appeal form: financial support for books and equipment

    We only have limited funds for book and equipment grants and we cannot accept all applications.However, we consider all appeals.

    Please give details of the cour se you are doing, the books and equipment you need and why youfeel we should accept your application .

    (Write in sentences.)

    From the begining of September I have started Desktop Publishing Skills Course at this college. This

    course and certificate which I would get helps me to find better job and improved my skills. I work for a

    translation company as a desktop publisher but I havent any formal qualification for this job. Also this is

    only part-time job and not well paid. I am sure after this one year course I would be able to find proper joband get a satisfaction from doing this. Unfortunately all books which would be helpful are very expensive

    and I cant affort to buy them all. The most important and also the most expensive book for this course is

    Adobe suit. If its possible to get a grant to buy just only this book it would be very helpful.

    Also because I havent any support from my employer every month I have to spend about 140 pounds for

    transport and accomodation during the course time.

    Please consider my appeal and please let me know about your decision.

    (Total: 9 marks)

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    Level 1 Script A Task 1

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus All 3 points well developed. 3 3

    Sentencefocus Good variety of structures used with minimal errors. 3 3

    Word focus Appropriate use and a good range of vocabulary with a few non-impending spelling errors. 3 3

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    Level 1 Script BTask 1 (About 10 minutes)

    Your college gives financial assistance to some students to help them pay for books and other equipmentthat they need for their studies. You applied for this financial help but your application was not successful.You have decided to appeal against this decision.

    Complete the form.

    Write about 80 words.

    Appeal form: financial support for books and equipment

    We only have limited funds for book and equipment grants and we cannot accept all applications.However, we consider all appeals.

    Please give details of the cour se you are doing, the books and equipment you need and why youfeel we should accept your application .

    (Write in sentences.)

    Dear Mr/Ms xxxx.

    I dont understant your decision. Why does my application was not successful? Im studying in Newi, I

    need the books for all this year, first year of architectural design. You know with my last letter that I dont

    live actually with my parents and I can not receive money from them. I dont have a job actually so my rent

    is very poor. I can not afford the quantity of money that cost all the books. I hope that you can understant

    my situation and finally I can receive my grant.

    Sincerely

    (Total: 9 marks)

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    Level 1 Script B Task 1

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus No details of books are given and therefore intended audience wouldnot be fully informed. In appropriate register used. 1 1

    Sentencefocus

    Some evidence of ability to construct complex sentences but thereare problems with word order and meaning is not always clear, e.g.so my rent is very poor. (This obscurity may be due to choice oflexis rather than structure but is penalised here.)

    1 1

    Wordfocus Generally vocabulary is appropriate and accurate. 2 2

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    Level 1 Script CTask 2 (About 25 minutes)

    You receive this letter asking for a reference about your friend, Rina.

    Ms Rina Kimar has applied to do voluntary work in our second-hand books and clothes shop in YeadingRoad. We are a national charity which raises money for elderly people. Volunteers advise customers,work on the cash desk and organise stock.

    Rina has given your name as a referee. Please could you tell us: how well you know her what she is like as a person why you think she is suitable for this position.

    I look forward to hearing from you.Ar t hur Bel l

    Mr Arthur Bell

    Head of Volunteer Recruitment

    Write a letter of reference.

    Write about 140 words. You do not need to write the address or the date.

    Dear Arthur Bell

    I think that Rina Kimar can be sincerly a very good volunteer for you job. I was his boss when she was

    working with me on my cloth shop. Immediatly I apreciate her entusiasm for the job; she is alway with a

    smile in the face; very important in this profession. I remember the first day that I know Rina. I went to

    open the shop 30 minutes after, because this day arrived a new table for the cash, when I arrived Rina was

    hoping in front the shop! She says to me that was very important for her this work and the first day she

    doesnt want to arrive late.

    She is very patient with clients, and a very good worker. She nevers go went out of the shop until all was

    absolutely clean.

    I was his boss, but immediatly I was his friend too, and she become one of my best friends. As a person

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    Ryna is a very good person, she always has time for you, she likes to hear another people talking; is very

    carfully with nature and the animals, she loves animals. She was working in a recuperation center for

    animals as a volunteer during three years. I think Ryna is perfect for the job descrived, how as I said, Ryna

    works very hard, she likes this type of job, is perfect for advise customers, she has experience, and I am

    very for the job done in my Job, never I was disgusting about here. You will be very luckly to has a person

    like she in your Job.

    Sinceresly

    (Total: 12 marks)

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    Level 1 Script C Task 2

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus All 3 content points addressed with some irrelevance in firstparagraph. Some attempt at paragraphing. 2 3

    Sentencefocus

    Lack of control causes confusion throughout. There are particularproblems with pronouns. 1 1

    Word focus Numerous basic spelling errors and some inappropriate use ofvocabulary, e.g. disgusting. 1 1

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    Level 1 Script DTask 2 (About 25 minutes)

    You receive this letter asking for a reference about your friend, Rina.

    Ms Rina Kimar has applied to do voluntary work in our second-hand books and clothes shop in YeadingRoad. We are a national charity which raises money for elderly people. Volunteers advise customers,work on the cash desk and organise stock.

    Rina has given your name as a referee. Please could you tell us: how well you know her what she is like as a person why you think she is suitable for this position.

    I look forward to hearing from you.Ar t hur Bel l

    Mr Arthur Bell

    Head of Volunteer Recruitment

    Write a letter of reference.

    Write about 140 words. You do not need to write the address or the date.

    Mr Date 30 Nov 2006

    PC Center Bolton

    BL2 2NE

    Tel/ 01204 123456

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    Im writting to give information about your future worker Ms Rina Kimar as you requested, Im the chief

    executive of Bolton PC Center Store which is located in town center, I have a very succesful busyness and

    Ms Rina Kimar was one of my employee, I have known her for about 5 years since 2002 in January

    Ms Rina is very helpful, honest and she care a lot about people not just because of busuness but because

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    is her character,

    What I had discuvored is that she has a great personality, very friendly she has an unthusiastic

    spirit which is always happy to help customers, she is a time keeper and she work very hard, because

    of her honsty our coumpany has beneficiate a lot of things such as special awards,

    She has been raising money for our local charity to help people in Africa and im sure she is looking

    forward to do the same at your place, she has got a NVQ qualification in social care that means she knows

    and she ha a lot of experience working with old people, disables and differents group of communities in

    Bolton,

    The reason why I think Ms Rima is suitable for that Position is because she has good potention in

    the kind of work she is applying for. She has good good knowlogy of memorising names, pictures, and that

    is an advantage for her, Ms Rima has never been late to work, she work harder she is flexible and

    tolerant, she can also work during weekend and in do overtimes, our company has given her a lot of bonus

    as special awards she has won 5 award as a company best collegue of the year. She is fit, she play

    tennis in a local Gym and she did run twice for our charity in Manchester-Shelford in 2005 and 2006, Ms

    Rina has a big spirit and she is willing to work.

    As her previous Manager I think she is one of the best collegue I have never work with and I was a

    good oportinity for me to work with Ms Rima please do not hesitate to came back to me if you need more

    information about Ms Rima Kimar Thank you.

    Yours sincirly

    (Total: 12 marks)

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    Level 1 Script D Task 2

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus All 3 points fully covered and although longer than specified, itremains relevant. Well paragraphed in appropriate letter format. 3 5

    Sentencefocus

    Evidence of ability to construct complex sentences but a number oferrors with tenses and punctuation. However, meaning remainsclear.

    2 2

    Word focus A range of vocabulary with quite a few spelling errors. 2 2

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    Level 1 Script ETask 3a (About 40 minutes)

    You read this notice in your local newspaper.

    Were marrying older

    The average age in the UK for people getting married is now 31 for menand 29 for women. In 1970 it was 25 for men and 23 for women.

    We would like to know what you think about this. Why has this changehappened? Is it a good thing? How does it compare with other countriesyou know? What will it mean for the future?We will publish the best article.

    Write an article for the newspaper.

    Write about 200 words.

    Life is changing. New generation comparising with other adult generations is different. Different are: life

    style, needs, hills (wishes) and goals. It depends of age, place of living and their culture. Young people

    now dont want to get married just after finishing school or after leaving their family homes. They would like

    to be a single as long as they can and of course dating as many people as its possible. Women prefer

    Women prefer carreers than bring up children and household jobs so the most important in their lifes are

    study, work and having a good time with friend which meens they want more social life without any

    duties.

    Also men would like to have families as later as they can because of their careers and doing lots of

    activities in their free time. For women even if their biology clock is ticking they would prefer to become a

    mother at least, after their work succeses or even if they would involve a sure they have found the right

    partner for life. For their grandmothers the most important was family now is only work and personal

    succes. New adult generation is more selfish and would like to get more from life than could give from

    themselfs.

    This situation is similar for lots of countries of Western Europe where population of young adults are well

    educated and very independent, so much different then adult generation before them.

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    The new model of family for them is to live alone as a single or become a single mother or father who is

    still independent and lives far from his/her families. So they started their families later as a last goal of their

    lifes.

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script E Task 3a

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus Points are addressed but reference to the future is only implicit. 2 3

    Sentencefocus

    Evidence of ability to construct complex sentences but ambition leadsto awkwardness and errors. 2 4

    Word focus Good evidence of range but not always accurate. 2 2

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    Level 1 Script FTask 3a (About 40 minutes)

    You read this notice in your local newspaper.

    Were marrying older

    The average age in the UK for people getting married is now 31 for menand 29 for women. In 1970 it was 25 for men and 23 for women.

    We would like to know what you think about this. Why has this changehappened? Is it a good thing? How does it compare with other countriesyou know? What will it mean for the future?We will publish the best article.

    Write an article for the newspaper.

    Write about 200 words.

    In 1970 it was 25 for men and 23 for women because it the old day men used to go to work and the women

    were very young they stayed at home and looked after the children the woman spend more time looking

    after the house-work and doing some business at home like tailouring, putting menus to other houses

    and helping elderly people.

    But to-day the average age of men increased to 31 and the age 29 for women, women started studying

    higher until they finished their qualifications and getting higher job and later they getting married a little

    later . Some women also get married later staying friend with their husband. It some people husband and

    wife work together and get married later, while it is a good think so that could each of them know each

    other well, each of their parents.

    Compared with other countries UK has this custom, while in other countries man and women

    marry at the young age, it is not good for the future. It is better if man and woman earn a lot of money and

    get married in future so that they would be happy in their marriage life.

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script F Task 3a

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus All points covered with little expansion, and a rather pedestrianapproach. 2 3

    Sentencefocus

    Sentence grammar is usually sufficiently controlled for meaning toremain clear. 2 3

    Word focus Most common functional words are spelt correctly but limited range. 2 2

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    Level 1 Script GTask 3b (About 40 minutes)

    The managers of the company you work for are worried about what its own staff and people in the localcommunity think about the company. The managers have decided to ask staff what they think about this.

    Write a report for your company. In the report, say:

    how staff feel about the company what people in the local community think about the company what the company should do to improve its image.

    Write about 200 words.

    For this report I did a several investigation, I asked one by one all the staff that are working in the company

    (150 in total). And I done a test on the local comunity to 600 persons (20% of the total population). I tryed

    that the 600 persons were very differents between them (I choose 300 mens and 300 females from

    different ages), so the next report is very accurate:

    In generally the staff are happy with the company, but all thinks that the production of the company will be

    improved if they recive a plus for number of food sold or receive more money if they works extra hours.

    Free food for them as a coffe machine will be very good received for all the staff.

    50% are very happy, 30% happy, 15% Normal, 5% angry.

    The 5% that are angry is because they expected to receive more money the second year worked in the

    company and finally they dont receive it. Its not a lot of staff but will be great to do something for this

    group of people. Its imporant that all the staff are happy with the work.

    About the people in the local community.

    50% thinks that quality vs price is very good, 10% thinks that of people are dislike with the quality or price

    of the food. After this question I asked what they prefer quality vs price is good and 40% thinks that quality

    vs price is bad

    This information is very important! A lot improve the quality of food or reduce the price. 90% says the with

    lower price they will buy more often and 10% of people says improve quality. So the best think will be

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    reduce a litter the price of the food, or do especial offers some days of the week.

    All the people between 6-14 years says that will be great if with the meal menu the company includes a

    game or a toy. I think that a toy is not affordable for the company with the actual prices of meal menus

    (and increase the prices is not good enought) so will be great to include a page with games, drawings for

    paint for example and three crayons of diferents color for every children. 100% of people that has children

    says that this idea will be very great, because his childrens will be happy and quite some time.

    In conclusion, for improve the company, its necesary that the staff can have free food and coffe, some of

    them recives more money, Reduce the price of food or do special offers during the week and include a

    page with games and cryons to the childrens menu.

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script G Task 3b

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus The points are covered and developed but contextualisation is poorand this keeps answer in middle band. 2 4

    Sentencefocus

    Sentence grammar is usually sufficiently controlled for meaning toremain clear. 2 3

    Word focus Some range of vocabulary but frequent spelling errors. 2 2

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    Level 1 Script HTask 3b (About 40 minutes)

    The managers of the company you work for are worried about what its own staff and people in the localcommunity think about the company. The managers have decided to ask staff what they think about this.

    Write a report for your company. In the report, say:

    how staff feel about the company what people in the local community think about the company what the company should do to improve its image.

    Write about 200 words.

    ASDA Company Report of Servey

    Acording to our Company Servey it seem our employee are not happy with some of things our company

    offers,firstly i would like to talk about the payment date, the majority of people think we should pay our

    employee at least twice a month That means every single employee Should be paid after 2 weeks andthats 75 per cent of people did agree with that, 85 per cent of our employee one not happy of wage ratewe

    offer them Comparing our rate to other stores it seem we are 10 per cent lower than, tesco, and 8 per cent

    lower behind Morisons. our worker would like us to increase the ningh rate, because night colleagues work

    very hard for our stores, according to the report of the servey in town Center las week it says that, ASDA is

    a better place to work for in britain, but 45 per cent of our customer did not agree with that, They think

    people like working for us just because we give Them 10 per cent of when They shop for us.

    85 per cent of our employers are happy the way we triat every one who work for us. They say

    there is respect of individual, and Many more things which make Them happier to work with us except our

    night rate.

    Our company need to offer at least 40 days off for every collegue a year and it must be paid, our

    collegue Claim that we are very strict with our absence policy we should give a second chance to a

    collegue has been absent for more than 3 days. Our collegue would like if our company can design new

    uniform for every one including locker where they can put they accesories such as Perfum, walet, smal bag

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    and even food. Our company Should Create better deals for every one who work for us such as holidies,

    international trips and parties they would like if we could give them better deal such as cars, hotel, 85 per

    cent of our collegue would like if ASDA could co-operate with british car industries for example ford (focus)

    to give out bran new cars for low prices.

    15 per cent of our collegues did not agree with cars deal they think is too risqui to buy a car while

    your working with us because you might be quickest at any time because our our absence Policy.

    and Finaly our collegue think we should offer medical deal, for example family insurance for

    collegues, such as dental treatment, optical, and many more Things just to make ASDA or better place

    to work for in britain, and they will be happier and successful and also proud to be part of ASDA Company.

    (Total: 15 marks)

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    Level 1 Script H Task 3b

    Commentary Band Mark

    Text focus One content point omitted. 1 2

    Sentencefocus

    Evidence of complex sentences but some lack of internal cohesionleads to confusion. Inadequate use of punctuation. 2 3

    Word focus Wide range of vocabulary not all of which is accurate. Someproblems with upper and lower case. 2 2