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Lecture 10
Attraction, Affiliationand Love
Outline Attraction and Liking Love Attachment Equity Theory Interpersonal Communication Relationship Dissolution
Interpersonal Attraction The attitudes we form about other
people, expressed along a dimension ranging from like to dislike.
Factors Influencing Attraction Proximity (propinquity) Repeated Exposure Similarity Affective State Physical Attractiveness Reciprocal Positive Evaluations
Frequency of Exposure and Liking in the Classroom (from Moreland & Beach, 1992)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
0 5 10 15
# of Times the RA came to Class
Att
ract
ion
Rati
ng
Likability of Target Person as a Function of their Pick-Up Line
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Cute/ Flippant Neutral Direct
Type of Pick-Up Line
Lika
bili
ty
Evaluation of candidate as a function of participants’ mood and knowledge of political issues (Ottati & Isbell, 1996)
1234567891011
Negative Positive
uniformedinformed
What is Love? Companionate vs. Passionate Love Love Styles (Lee, 1976; Hendrick &
Hendrick, 1992) Triangular Theory of Love
(Sternberg, 1986, 1987)
Companionate vs. Passionate Love Companionate Love
The affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined
Passionate Love A state of intense longing for union
with another. Passionate lovers are absorbed in one another, feel ecstatic at attaining their partner’s love, and are disconsolate on losing it.
Love Styles (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992) Eros
passionate physical appearance
Ludus game-playing no commitment
Storge friendship slow-moving to
commitment
Mania possessive obsessive
Agape altruistic gentle, caring, dutiful
Pragma pragmatic match on vital
statistics
The Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1988)
Passion
Commitment
Intimacy
Emotions and Misattribution The Two-Factor Theory of Emotion
(Schachter & Singer, 1962) Experience physiological arousal Try to explain the arousal.
Misattribution of Arousal The process whereby people
mistakenly infer what causes them to feel the way they do
What is Love? Prototypical close relationship between
2 adults (Hazan & Shaver, 1994) Sexual system
Concomitant feelings of excitement and physical gratification
Care-giving Desire to protect the other, to offer comfort and
to receive comfort Attachment
Emotional bond between two people that keeps them close both physically and emotionally
Attachment Parent-child relationships
Secure Characterized by trust, a lack of concern with
being abandoned and the view that one is worthy and well liked
Avoidant Characterized by a suppression of attachment
needs Anxious/ambivalent
Characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety
Attachment 2 Kinds of Avoidant Attachment
(Bartholomew, 1990; Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991) Fearful Avoidant
Characterized by avoidance of close relationships because of mistrust and fears of being hurt
Dismissive Avoidant Characterized by claims of self-sufficiency and no
need for close relationships
Social Exchange and Equity Social Exchange and Equity TheoriesTheories
Social exchange theory states that how people feel about their relationships will depend on their perception of the rewards they receive from the relationship and their perception of the costs they incur, as well as
their perception of what kind of relationship they deserve and the probability that they could have a better relationship with someone else.
Social Exchange TheoriesSocial Exchange Theories
In other words, the basic concepts of social exchange theory are reward, cost, outcome, comparison level, and comparison level for alternatives (Thibaut & Kelly, 1959).
The outcome of a relationship is based on rewards minus costs. If this is negative, the relationship is not in good shape.
Social Exchange TheoriesSocial Exchange Theories
How satisfied you are with your relationship depends on your comparison level.
Comparison level: people’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they deserve in a relationship.
If a given relationship doesn’t match the expected comparison level, people will be unhappy and unsatisfied.
Social Exchange TheoriesSocial Exchange Theories
How satisfied you are with your relationship also depends on your comparison level for alternatives.
Comparison level for alternatives: People’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they would receive in an alternative relationship.
Equity Theory
Equity theory holds that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs a person experiences and the contributions he/she makes to the relationship are roughly equal to the rewards, costs, and contributions of the other person.
Social Exchange in Long-Term RelationshipsSocial Exchange in Long-Term Relationships
The investment model of relationships holds that people’s commitment to a relationship depends on their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of
i) the rewards, costs, and comparison level
ii) their comparison level for alternatives
iii) how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it
© 2001 Pearson Education Canada Inc.
© 2001 Pearson Education Canada Inc.
Relationship Dissolution Ways of coping with a failing
relationship (Rusbult et al., 1986, 1987) Loyalty Neglect Voice
Relationship Dissolution, Cont. Strategies to end a relationship
(Baxter, 1982) Withdrawal/avoidance Positive tone Manipulation Open confrontation