““Less is More”:Less is More”:

Responding to Student Responding to Student WritingWriting

Which metaphor best describes Which metaphor best describes achieving better student writing?achieving better student writing?

The pot of gold at the end of The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.the rainbow.

Good student writing is Good student writing is the elusive goal the elusive goal towards which we towards which we must all strive.must all strive.

The road less traveled.

All students are on a “good writing path”: some are closer to the start line; others are further along.

The trouble withThe trouble with a pot of golda pot of gold

• Too Too elusiveelusive• It’s either not raining, or not sunny, or the It’s either not raining, or not sunny, or the

student writer is not in Ireland, but the pot of student writer is not in Ireland, but the pot of gold is never attainable.gold is never attainable.

• Too Too far off in the futurefar off in the future• Students believe that writing success is always Students believe that writing success is always

beyond their energies & intelligence.beyond their energies & intelligence.

• Too Too undefinedundefined• Students believe that profs’ ideas of “good Students believe that profs’ ideas of “good

writing” are idiosyncratic and personal. writing” are idiosyncratic and personal.

Taking Taking the road less the road less traveledtraveled::Advantages to facultyAdvantages to faculty

• We stop seeing our writing We stop seeing our writing enhancement task in enhancement task in lifelife or or deathdeath terms:terms:• ““Okay, kids, this is your Okay, kids, this is your final chancefinal chance to learn how to learn how

to write the kinds of papers you’ll need to succeed to write the kinds of papers you’ll need to succeed in college.”in college.”• What thus happens to kids who never see the rainbow, What thus happens to kids who never see the rainbow,

never mind find never mind find the pot of goldthe pot of gold??

• We realize that ours is 1 course among We realize that ours is 1 course among 3232

Taking Taking the road less the road less traveledtraveled::More More Advantages to facultyAdvantages to faculty• We begin to see our writing enhancement task We begin to see our writing enhancement task

in terms of moving students along a path on in terms of moving students along a path on which they’ve been walking since grade school which they’ve been walking since grade school and on which they must stay to succeed.and on which they must stay to succeed.• ““Okay, kids, let’s contrast how much better these research Okay, kids, let’s contrast how much better these research

findings, lab reports, summaries, response papers, etc. were findings, lab reports, summaries, response papers, etc. were than the first ones you wrote!”than the first ones you wrote!”• Everyone moves a bit further along Everyone moves a bit further along the road less traveledthe road less traveled!!

• We are responsible for helping students We are responsible for helping students improveimprove their writing, their writing, not for making it not for making it perfectperfect!!

Faculty Comments on Susie Faculty Comments on Susie Student’s essay:Student’s essay:

• From the From the the pot of gold the pot of gold schoolschool• All deviations from “All deviations from “goldnessgoldness” must be ” must be

noted for Susie Student to achieve noted for Susie Student to achieve the pot the pot of goldof gold

• From the From the the road less traveledthe road less traveled schoolschool• Comments are only designed to lead Susie Comments are only designed to lead Susie

Student further along Student further along the road less the road less traveledtraveled on her journey toward becoming a on her journey toward becoming a better writer. better writer.

Why then do “good” profs cover Why then do “good” profs cover student writing with comments?student writing with comments?We know so We know so

much much more more about about good good writing writing than they than they and want and want to shareto share all of our all of our knowledgknowledge at once!e at once!

Why else may “good” profs cover Why else may “good” profs cover student writing with comments?student writing with comments?

We believe that We believe that the harder we the harder we workwork on a on a student’s student’s writing, the writing, the more he/she will more he/she will learn.learn.

Another reason for “good” profs to Another reason for “good” profs to cover student writing with cover student writing with comments.comments.We must We must

remedy remedy thethe defects of defects of 13 years13 years of K-12 of K-12 instruction instruction in 13 in 13 weeks of a weeks of a TCNJ TCNJ semestersemester

What does our covering their What does our covering their work with comments tell our work with comments tell our students?students?• NotNot that we know so much more and that we know so much more and

want to share that knowledge with them.want to share that knowledge with them.

• NotNot that our hard work will necessarily that our hard work will necessarily result in increased learning for them.result in increased learning for them.

• NotNot that their TCNJ faculty are hugely that their TCNJ faculty are hugely more competent than K-12 faculty.more competent than K-12 faculty.

• But that we hate their writing and But that we hate their writing and that they may as well give up!that they may as well give up!

Susie Student with her freshly Susie Student with her freshly graded essaygraded essay• The comment reads: “The comment reads: “unfocused thesisunfocused thesis””

• Susie thinks “I have no good ideas.”Susie thinks “I have no good ideas.”

• The comment reads: “The comment reads: “edit!edit!””• Susie thinks: “I can’t spell; no one has taught me Susie thinks: “I can’t spell; no one has taught me

grammar since grade 6; and I never have known grammar since grade 6; and I never have known how to put page numbers in parentheses.”how to put page numbers in parentheses.”

• The comment reads: “The comment reads: “expand on this expand on this ideaidea””• Susie thinks: “I don’t know what I’m taking about Susie thinks: “I don’t know what I’m taking about

and he thinks I haven’t even read the text.and he thinks I haven’t even read the text.

• At this point, At this point, Susie has stopped reading Susie has stopped reading any commentsany comments at all! at all!

Will writing just a few comments Will writing just a few comments shortchange my students?shortchange my students?• No, it isn’t how much No, it isn’t how much you writeyou write

that’s important—that’s important—• It’s how many comments It’s how many comments they’ll readthey’ll read..• It’s how many comments It’s how many comments they’ll process and they’ll process and

understandunderstand..• It’s how many comments It’s how many comments they’ll rememberthey’ll remember..• It’s how many comments It’s how many comments they are able to act they are able to act

on in their next paperon in their next paper..

So, what should a prof do?So, what should a prof do?

• Start commenting with whatever is best about Start commenting with whatever is best about the paper—a the paper—a positivepositive!!

• Students want to improve their writing more if they Students want to improve their writing more if they believe that their writing has believe that their writing has at least some at least some strengthsstrengths

• Students put Students put much more work into revisingmuch more work into revising a paper a paper they believe is “partially good” rather than “mostly they believe is “partially good” rather than “mostly bad.”bad.”

• Examples of positives:Examples of positives:• You clearly understand the article we read.You clearly understand the article we read.• You’ve chosen good symbols as crucial to the poem.You’ve chosen good symbols as crucial to the poem.

So, what else should a prof do?So, what else should a prof do?

• Limit yourself to (at most) 2 “Limit yourself to (at most) 2 “areas of areas of concernconcern” per paper. For example,” per paper. For example,

• In your revision, I’d like you to focus on the order In your revision, I’d like you to focus on the order in which you present your evidence and on having in which you present your evidence and on having one piece of evidence per body ¶ rather than one piece of evidence per body ¶ rather than detailing them all in one long ¶”detailing them all in one long ¶”• Collect both the revision and that comment, and Collect both the revision and that comment, and

grade/respond to the revision grade/respond to the revision in terms of that in terms of that assigned taskassigned task..

• Use a Use a rubricrubric and simply circle or mark the and simply circle or mark the descriptors of the paper.descriptors of the paper.

Some techniques I’ve admiredSome techniques I’ve admired

•Stack papers in piles according to Stack papers in piles according to ““most serious flawsmost serious flaws” and divide ” and divide students into groups based on these students into groups based on these flaws:flaws:• a group focusing on a group focusing on re-writing thesesre-writing theses so that they so that they

are focused and specific enough for short papersare focused and specific enough for short papers• a group focusing on writing a a group focusing on writing a conclusion ¶conclusion ¶ that that

explains why the thesis is important instead of explains why the thesis is important instead of merely repeating the paper’s evidencemerely repeating the paper’s evidence

• a group focusing on editing out a group focusing on editing out sentence sentence fragmentsfragments

• a group focusing on incorporating evidence that is a group focusing on incorporating evidence that is not personal but is instead not personal but is instead evidence derived from evidence derived from researchresearch

Another response that works to Another response that works to minimize prof’s commentsminimize prof’s comments

• Realize that papers can be read with Realize that papers can be read with different “eyes.”different “eyes.”

• After collecting essays, announce that this set of After collecting essays, announce that this set of papers will be read, commented on, and graded in papers will be read, commented on, and graded in terms of terms of one single elementone single element——• the strength of the main claim / thesisthe strength of the main claim / thesis• the evidence it chooses to citethe evidence it chooses to cite• mechanical errors in the 3mechanical errors in the 3rdrd ¶ ¶• its adherence to the norms of the field – MLA, CBE, etc.its adherence to the norms of the field – MLA, CBE, etc.

• The next essay will be read with The next essay will be read with different “eyes”different “eyes”

But what about grammar and But what about grammar and mechanics?mechanics?

• What happens when profs edit mechanical What happens when profs edit mechanical & grammatical errors?& grammatical errors?• Instead of Instead of revising and rethinkingrevising and rethinking, students , students

simply fix surface errors.simply fix surface errors.

• But they’ll think their writing is error-free!But they’ll think their writing is error-free!• Just choose one Just choose one ¶ and circle it's errors¶ and circle it's errors

• Never mark errors in an early draft—Never mark errors in an early draft—students will simply students will simply fix the surface fix the surface errorserrors, turn in the “rewritten” paper, and , turn in the “rewritten” paper, and confidently await an “confidently await an “AA””

Expect resistance from students to Expect resistance from students to abandoning the abandoning the pot of goldpot of gold metaphormetaphor• The The pot of goldpot of gold model puts responsibility model puts responsibility

on faculty to show students the process or on faculty to show students the process or map to the map to the goldgold• Students describe themselves as “never Students describe themselves as “never

having had a good English teacher” or as having had a good English teacher” or as “never having been taught to write.”“never having been taught to write.”

• To a student, all writing inadequacies are To a student, all writing inadequacies are traced to a “comment deficiency” in which traced to a “comment deficiency” in which we we never adequately explain what we wantnever adequately explain what we want, , and so we fail to teach them to write well.and so we fail to teach them to write well.

The The road less traveledroad less traveled metaphor metaphor puts responsibility for writing onto puts responsibility for writing onto students.students.• Students are reminded that writing for Students are reminded that writing for

our course is simply another step in our course is simply another step in their on-going development as writers.their on-going development as writers.

• Giving students Giving students specific revision specific revision taskstasks (or tasks to be attempted in (or tasks to be attempted in their next essay) puts the onus for their next essay) puts the onus for learning on them.learning on them.• They are, after all, on They are, after all, on their own roadtheir own road!!

Some caveats: what can go wrong Some caveats: what can go wrong when a prof when a prof minimizes minimizes commentscomments??• Students who feel that they have successfully Students who feel that they have successfully

accomplished the single revision task you give accomplished the single revision task you give them believe that they all deserve an “A”them believe that they all deserve an “A”• a a detailed rubricdetailed rubric can help prevent this can help prevent this

• Focusing a student on his main “Focusing a student on his main “area of area of concernconcern” necessarily handicaps him in ” necessarily handicaps him in working on another shortcomings. working on another shortcomings. • a trade-off that I justify because I believe 1 course a trade-off that I justify because I believe 1 course

cannot be a cannot be a cure-allcure-all or or magic writing potionmagic writing potion

More caveats:More caveats:

• Students feel that Students feel that a relatively unmarked a relatively unmarked paperpaper = an “ = an “AA” paper; ” paper; gallons of red gallons of red inkink = “ = “DD” or “” or “FF””• A paper not drowning in red ink that does not A paper not drowning in red ink that does not

earn an “A” thus breaks this ruleearn an “A” thus breaks this rule• None of this is made easier by students who feel that None of this is made easier by students who feel that

“A” is the only “good” grade.“A” is the only “good” grade.

• Students may mistake Students may mistake minimal focused minimal focused commentscomments for the prof’s not really caring for the prof’s not really caring about the whole paper.about the whole paper.

But on the positive side . . . But on the positive side . . . Minimal markingMinimal marking:: • allows profs to allows profs to assign more writingassign more writing

b/c they have time to read it.b/c they have time to read it.• allows profs who do not feel mastery allows profs who do not feel mastery

over every single aspect of the writing over every single aspect of the writing process to work with their students on process to work with their students on those aspects most crucial to their those aspects most crucial to their disciplinediscipline

• encourages students to see encourages students to see writing writing tasks as discrete and manageabletasks as discrete and manageable..