Level 5 exemplars and comments Paper 1 Sample 1: Part I ...€¦ · Extended Essay: A study of the influence of Seamus Heaney’s family background has on him in Follower and Digging

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Level 5 exemplars and comments

Paper 1

Sample 1:

Part I, Section C, Question 9

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Comments

This response discussed a broad range of types of duty presented in The Painted Veil – Walter’s duty

as husband and doctor; Kitty’s duty as wife and her duty at the orphanage; and Mother Superior’s

duty as God’s servant. A detailed examination was also provided regarding the degree of

effectiveness to which different characters perform their duties, with relevant examples and

references from the text.

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Sample 2:

Part I, Section D, Question 14

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Comments

A thorough analysis of the characters of Alida (‘Roman Fever’) and Julian (‘Everything the Rises

Must Converge’) is evident in this response. The candidate offered considerable insight into their

actions, words, habits and traits (e.g. arrogance, insensitivity and tendency to cause purposeless

emotional pain to others), citing relevant scenes and situations from the texts to reinforce her

argument that Alida and Julian are the most irritating as people.

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Paper 2

Sample 1:

Section A, Question 4

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Comments

(i) Strong coverage of possible past events. Comments on a plane crash, absence of adults,

urgency of evacuation from England and school. Doesn’t get side-tracked with

generalisations or unnecessary description of the environment.

(ii) Excellent understanding of how Golding builds tension and suspense. Links the physical

description of the boys, their speech and actions to relative importance later. Discusses

symbolic possibility of Ralph’s fairness, athleticism and desire to shed his clothes, as well

as Piggy’s clumsiness and concern about missing adults. Final line is a succinct summary of

the answer.

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Sample 2:

Section B, Question 6

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Comments

(i) Very good commentary on thematic connections. Notes similar impact of winter and the

sense of mortality in both works. Further points out a contrast in the focus on specific

seasons, in addition to the numbness of the speaker in (B) with the exuberance of (A).

Easily understands Frost’s sense of inner desolation in (B).

(ii) Identifies imagery evoked by diction associated with music (songs/choir/sings). Shows

good awareness of the subtle sense of melancholy, and the way it is balanced with a

cheerful tone. Answer could be enhanced by a discussion of the specific sound devices

which Keats uses.

(iii) Well answered in terms of how “they” suggest unity, in bleak contrast to the solitude of the

speaker. Proposes a logical possibility that “they” might refer to the hibernating animals, the

snow or the woods, while not attributing any definitive identity.

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Paper 3

Sample 1:

Extended Essay: Investigating the transformation of rebellious sons to unexpected leaders in The

Godfather and The Hollow Crown series

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Comments

The candidate has established a central thesis right at the beginning and succeeds in following this

line of argument throughout the essay. There is also a balance between textual information and

discussion related to the topic. The essay concentrates on several scenic shots and focusses on how

camera framing, use of lighting, etc. help to illustrate the major ideas. The candidate could have

written more on the reasons leading to the rebellious paths of the sons in the first part, however.

Discussion on scenic shots is analysed in detail and related to the main idea.

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Sample 2:

Extended Essay: A study of the influence of Seamus Heaney’s family background has on him in

Follower and Digging

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Comments

The essay starts with a focussed and well-established thesis that forms the basis of the whole

discussion. The candidate has displayed a thorough understanding of the two poems and various

poetic techniques used by the poet to convey his thoughts. A very clear line of thought is displayed.

Ideas are elaborated fluently and thoroughly with details from the texts. Coherent organisation and

clarity in expression are extra bonuses.

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Level 5 exemplars and comments Paper 1 Sample 1: Part I ...€¦ · Extended Essay: A study of the influence of Seamus Heaney’s family background has on him in Follower and Digging