That’s What Friends Are For – Outline

Week 1

1) Friendship is God’s plan for us.a) Jesus said it’s all about relationship

i) With God, others, and yourself.b) We don’t get to choose this curriculum, we just get to choose how willing we

are to learn it.i) We have the opportunity to learn to really love well.

c) The Old Testament says that, “A good friend is an elixir to the soul.”2) Ralph Waldo Emerson’s two elements in friendship

a) Truthi) Free to say anything without condemnation. Willingness for flow.

b) Tendernessi) Recognize that we’re all on this journey of choice-making. Mistakes (miss-takes) are part of the

processii) Real friendship is bigger than behavior

(1) Mother Theresa fell so in love with Love’s presence that she would say, “Oh, my Beloved, in all your exquisite disguises. You are disguised as the beggar on the street. You are disguised as the one with the leprosy. You are disguised as the one in the great robes. Oh, my beloved, in all your many exquisite disguises.”

3) People feel love in different ways.a) We tend to give love how we prefer to receive it.b) We are meant to be multi-modal in giving love.

i) Some people like to be given something tangible, some like having something done for them, others

c) Often giving is the greatest receiving

Week 2

1) No matter how many human languages we speak, there’s one more that we want to get very fluent in – the language of Love.a) We have the capacity to be both human and Divine – bilingualb) When we’re fluent in love we see past each other’s stories and difficulties and we speak from a

place of unconditional lovei) This is what spiritual practice is about.

Phone: 503.922.3460 • Fax: 503.922.2553 • PO Box 630269, Simi Valley, CA 93063mary@marymorrissey.com • www.marymorrissey.com

2) When you rehearse a lie over and over you start to believe it. We’ve done the same with our own flaws.a) We’ve convinced of our flaws, imperfections, and limitations.

3) All of us wear a sign that says “As Is”a) In the human part of us there is some sort of blemishb) We have the other side of us that is eternal and perfect.

4) Many of us suffer from ideas that kill the opportunity to live in God’s lovea) “I’m too busy to really develop relationships”

i) Too many emails, too many errands…ii) We “believe” in living in love, but we’re “too busy”

b) “It’s not worth it to go through the pain again.”i) “But everyone who hears these sayings of mine and does not do them would be like a foolish

man who built his house on the sand and the rains descended and the floods came and the winds blew.”(1) WHEN the floods come, not if.

ii) We must be uncomfortable and unskillful for a time in order to grow.c) Pride

i) As a form of arrogance - If I really open my heart to you and I really shared with you, I don’t really think you have anything to offer me

ii) As a form of embarrassment - I don’t want to share that with you because you might think less of me(1) Is there something you’ve been keeping from anyone close to you?

iii) This is destructive to Love’s presence5) Choose the language of love over the human language of concern and fear.

Week 3

1) We get do-overs in friendship.a) No judgment or keeping score.

i) If there is measurement in a relationship it becomes an arrangement – very different from true friendship

b) Paul’s writing in Corinthians says that love keeps no score of rights and wrongs and takes no delight in others’ mistakes

c) Practice do-overs when a friend is unskillful, or when you are unskillful.i) Real friends help each other and look for the best in one another

2) Love isn’t dependent on behaviora) It doesn’t mean there aren’t emotional disappointments, it just means that committed

relationships come from a place where love is bigger than any mistake a person can make.3) What do you do when a relationship feels threatened?

a) Exercising faith doesn’t mean that you “feel good” only when everything in the world is fine.i) Do not deny fear’s existence – face it down and turn your attention onto something greater.

Love’s unbound presence in your life

Phone: 503.922.3460 • Fax: 503.922.2553 • PO Box 630269, Simi Valley, CA 93063mary@marymorrissey.com • www.marymorrissey.com

Week 4

1) Signs you’re in a difficult relationship:a) When someone leaves you a message and you feel anxiety about calling them back.b) Person you have just been with leaves you feeling drained.c) When you have fantasy conversations in your mind where you just let them have it.d) When you’ve “let them have it” you feel vindicated and/or triumphant.

2) We only love BECAUSE we are loved.a) Unconditional love is liberating – it frees you from conditionsb) Don’t love strategically, don’t give in order to receive.

3) Lack of love and respect for yourself cuts off your capacity to live in Lovea) We all wear “As Is” or “Slightly Irregular” signs, but Love has the final word.

4) Difficult relationships show us the condition of our own hearts.a) You get the perfect mirror of your ability to love.b) Where is your edge? Is it ethnicity, education, size, economics? What causes your barriers with

people?c) Always speak the truth with love.

i) Sometimes it doesn’t feel good, but some of the greatest gifts come from friends who are willing to help you see where you can improve or see how you’re affecting them.

5) How open are you in your relationships?a) Are you willing to be 100% truthful about what you want or what might be bothering you?

6) Encourage each other’s fulfillment.a) Love always wins out. Be there for each other.

Phone: 503.922.3460 • Fax: 503.922.2553 • PO Box 630269, Simi Valley, CA 93063mary@marymorrissey.com • www.marymorrissey.com