LISTENING TO LEARNBennie Good

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Notes• Ask speakers what

they experienced• What were there

reactions

• Ask listeners how their speakers responded

• How did they feel playing the role

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Listening is….

• An essential part of communication

• Not taught in school• A skill that can be

learned

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Why Listening is A Key Skill of Leadership

• Connecting• Decision Making• Problem Solving

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Listening Thought

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood”

Steven Covey

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Two Types of Listening• Active Listening• Empathetic

Listening

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Active Listening• Ask questions• Reflect back

• Paraphrase• Don’t be judgemental

• Observe• Focus• Acknowledge• Respect

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Empathetic Listening• Listener puts

themselves in speaker’s place

• Imagine things from speaker’s point of view

• Try to understand how the speaker feels

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.”

Jiddu Krishnamurti ~ (1895 – 1986) spiritual philosopher

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Role Play 2• Pick a partner• One person is the

speaker, the other the listener

• Speaker is to talk about something they enjoy, such as hobby, sport or family activity

• Listener to follow instructions on card

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Monitor your Listening Level• How do you adjust

the volume?• Situation?• Environment?• Mental state?

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Role Play 3• Need a volunteer to

play the part of a scout who is angry about the way others in the unit are treating him

• Den Chief plays the role of the leader

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Notes – Role Play 3• Active

• I get it• What I hear is….• Keep talking scout…

but no feedback• Now I hear what you

don’t want…what do you want?

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Listening in Adversarial SituationsListeners should always strive to create

a positive presentAs opposed to A negative past.

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Feedback• Generally feedback

is thought of as a painful experience or process

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Feedback Notes• Have you ever received advice from

someone? • How did it feel to receive feedback?• Have you ever had a chance to tell

someone how they can do something better?

• How did it feel to be offering feedback

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Tips on Giving Feedback• Consider your motives• Is the person receptive?• Deal with behaviors that can be changed• Be specific• Let the person know the impact of the behavior

on you• Use “I” to accept responsibility for your own

emotions• To make sure the recipient heard you correctly,

ask them to repeat or rephrase the feeback 17

You can give caring feedback without a good technique, but the slickest technique in the world will not hide a lack of caring.

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Tips on Receiving Feedback• Seek out feedback• Listen carefully• Listen actively• Listen empathetically• Be aware of how you are feeling

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Listening….• is a skill we can learn & improve on• is vital to relationships, teams and finding

solutions• is both active and empathetic• can turn a negative into a positive• is an important part of giving and receiving

feedback

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