Love Systems Insider: Getting Started - Opening

8/14/2019 Love Systems Insider: Getting Started - Opening

1/4

Love Systems InsiderDate: November 2009

Getting Started - Opening

What is opening? Essentially, it's the first 3-90 seconds of an interaction with a woman, wherebyyou begin a conversation. With opening, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is thatopening can be very scary. Men are biologically predisposed to be incredibly nervous whenstarting a conversation with a woman that we don't know. There are good evolutionary-

biological reasons for this (in prehistoric times, approaching an unknown woman withoutpermission or an introduction could lead to violent retaliation from her extended family), butthat's probably not a lot of comfort. So, that nervous feeling you get and the little voices that popinto your head looking for excuses NOT to talk to that beautiful woman are NORMAL. Youneed to learn to suppress them, but they are normal, and everyone - even Love Systemsinstructors - have them.

Some more bad news. We not only need to open, suppressing our built-in emotions, but we needto open well. Opening poorly can doom the rest of your interaction with a woman, and any otherwomen who see it, making everything else you do a waste of time.

What's the good news? With practice, it's fairly easy. After learning from Love Systems, anyoneshould be opening successfully 99 times out of 100. Most experienced guys don't even need tothink about opening anymore.

The following tips will help get you started:

1. Have a canned opener ready - This is NOT a night at the improv. Going "situational"(e.g., "it sure is crowded here" or "that's a nice purse") will rarely work. Think about it. Ifa 22 year old woman has been going out 1 night per week since she was 18, and gotapproached 5 times in a night (and these numbers are major underestimations) she has

been approached 1,000 times before you came along. Most of those 1,000 guys havetried something boring and situational. Use a canned opener - something that has beenrepeatedly tested with women and is proven to work. If you don't have even one opener,I'd suggest Magic Bullets or the Love Systems Routines Manual. If you don't have theseinvaluable texts, do yourself a favor and spend the money to get them and have youropeners ready before you even go to the club, coffee shop, lounge, etc.
http://www.lovesystems.com/newsletters/getting-started-openinghttp://www.lovesystems.com/magic-bulletshttp://www.lovesystems.com/routineshttp://www.lovesystems.com/routineshttp://www.lovesystems.com/magic-bulletshttp://www.lovesystems.com/routineshttp://www.lovesystems.com/newsletters/getting-started-opening


2/4

2. 3-2-1-GO! - When you see a girl you like: GO! Open her group immediately. Failure to

do this will "stale you out." Women like confidence. They don't like to be stalked. Theylike spontaneity. Wandering around circling her, looking at her, trying to figure out whatto do next will turn her off and creep her out. Get into the habit of seeing a group ofpeople, and GOING IN. You've already got your opener ready, right?

3. Approach at an angle - Do not walk straight up to the group. Approach at an angle, tiltyour head over your shoulders, and say your piece. Done correctly (and you almost needto see it to do it properly), you raise your value significantly by demonstrating that youdo not need their attention or approval.

4. Smile on the approach - Don't grin like a moron through the entire interaction, but smileas you walk to the set, and in the first few seconds of the opener. Smile with your eyes,not just your mouth. It may sound silly, but smiles can (and should) be practiced in frontof a mirror.

5. Be loud enough - Everyone in the group should hear your opener. Your opener shouldbe loud enough that it cuts across whatever conversations they are already having. Don'tshout, but make it socially awkward for them not to pay attention to your opener.Practice opening - loudly - from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on yourchest, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on

your hand, and one where you can't. Train yourself to speak in the way where you canfeel the vibrations.

6. Don't lean in - This is connected to being loud enough. You should project your voiceenough that they can hear you from a normal standing position (or leaning slightly back).

7. Engage the group - Do NOT go into a group and talk to the woman you want to meet(the target). Engage the whole group. Pay LESS attention to the woman you areinterested in.

8. Playfully tease the target - Teasing is a major tool for triggering attraction. The hotterthe girl, the quicker you have to tease. It demonstrates higher social value, and womenare attracted to men that they perceive as having higher social status than they perceivethemselves to have. I've seen some of our instructors open with teasing, and many willbegin teasing the target within the first 10 seconds of their openers.


3/4

9. False time constraint - This is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Somewhere in the first

30 seconds you should drop in a phrase like "I can only stay a second; I have my friendshere." This will stop the group from feeling uncomfortable ("how long is this guy goingto stay here") while also setting yourself up as a bit of a challenge, since if a woman isinterested in you, she knows she'll have to do some work to keep your attention. Makesure you phrase it in positive terms. For example, consider the difference in what iscommunicated by "I have to go; my friends are here" compared to "I will only stay asecond, then I'll leave you guys alone." Do those things, and you should be able to getthrough opening easily, in almost any social situation.

Another crucial element of opening is ending it. The opener should be something short, to grab

the group's attention, and be emotionally neutral. As soon as you spot an opportunity, you shouldtransition into attraction.

ADVANCED SECTION

Once sets are opening consistently, pay attention to a few more advanced factors:

Proximity / Approach Invitations - Very little of what women do in social gatherings israndom. When a group of women walk around a room and then stop in a specific place,there's often a reason. And that reason is often a man or group of men displayingattractive qualities. If a group of women come to stand near you to talk or have a drink,it's entirely possible that they WANT you to approach. Take advantage of these

opportunities.

Blowing out other guys on the opening phase - If you see another guy go into a group(and watch carefully - make sure it's a "cold approach" and the guy didn't know the groupfrom before that night), you can wait 30 seconds, walk in, whisper to the guy "you takinggood care of my girl?" and then launch into your opener. Nine times out of ten this willdisorient the guy and disarm him, while also expressing dominant alpha male qualities tothe group which are very attractive to most women.

Don't be afraid of mixed sets - Most men are afraid to approach groups with other men

in them. This is a mistake. Mixed sets are actually easier, since you can direct youropening conversation at a guy or at the men in a group. If you are sufficiently interestingto the group, the women will want to get your attention. By playfully ignoring andteasing the girl you're interested in; this will drive her crazy and make her developattraction for you. Furthermore, don't restrict yourself to mixed sets where the ratio is inyour favor, like 1 man : 2 women. Sets like 1 man : 1 woman can be incrediblyproductive. It will be obvious early on if they are together, and, if they are not, you willhave been one of the few guys with the guts to approach.


4/4

Resources:

Magic Bullets

Routines Manual Volume 1

Routines Manual Volume 2

Interview Series Volume 1 - Approaching & Transitioning

Interview Series Volume 9 - Using & Creating Routines

Interview Series Volume 14 - The First Five Minutes

Interview Series Volume 44 - Overcoming Approach Anxiety

Savoy

http://www.lovesystems.com/newsletters/getting-started-opening
http://www.lovesystems.com/magic-bulletshttp://www.lovesystems.com/routines-manualhttp://www.lovesystems.com/routines-manual-2http://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-1-approaching-transitioning-sinn-savoyhttp://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-9-using-creating-routines-the-don-savoyhttp://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-14-the-first-five-minutes-the-don-tenmagnethttp://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-44-overcoming-approach-anxiety-future-calabresehttp://www.lovesystems.com/savoyhttp://www.lovesystems.com/newsletters/getting-started-openinghttp://www.lovesystems.com/magic-bulletshttp://www.lovesystems.com/routines-manualhttp://www.lovesystems.com/routines-manual-2http://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-1-approaching-transitioning-sinn-savoyhttp://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-9-using-creating-routines-the-don-savoyhttp://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-14-the-first-five-minutes-the-don-tenmagnethttp://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-44-overcoming-approach-anxiety-future-calabresehttp://www.lovesystems.com/savoyhttp://www.lovesystems.com/newsletters/getting-started-opening

Documents

Love Systems Insider: Getting Started - Opening